What does a frigid woman mean. Frigid woman

Happiness in a family is not only a full refrigerator, a wallet and the fulfillment of mutual responsibilities. In marital relations, the sexual harmony of partners plays almost the main role. To enjoy intimacy, you need to be literate in the sexual alphabet and know what problems can burst into your bedroom. Many people do not know about frigidity, what it is and what kind of trouble it causes.

What is frigidity in girls?

Frigidity is in other words sexual coldness... There are several types of frigidity:

  • When a woman is attracted to the opposite sex, wants intimacy and even experiences some pleasant sensations, but does not reach orgasm or achieves it, but not with a partner and not in a completely natural way, for example, through masturbation;
  • When a woman is indifferent to sex, and absolutely insensitive during intimacy;
  • When a woman is afraid of sex, the thought of intercourse with a man disgusts her.

Lack of orgasm in women

It is not customary to speak out loud about frigidity, many women know that there is such a concept and roughly represent its meaning, but perceive this phenomenon as something insignificant. However, frigidity is a serious ailment. Moreover, an ailment that, if untreated, leads to other diseases.

Doctors have long confirmed and scientifically proven that a woman's lack of orgasm is harmful to the body:

  1. Orgasm is a transverse contraction of the muscles of the uterus. Muscles, contracting, accelerate the blood in the pelvic organs, the blood flows faster, supplying oxygen to all the cells of the female reproductive system. If the muscles of the uterus do not contract, and this can be achieved mainly by orgasm, then there may be stagnation of blood in the small pelvis;
  2. Stagnation of blood in the small pelvis leads to the fact that all organs located there work worse;
  3. To experience an orgasm for a woman is laid down by nature itself, not fulfilling their natural functions, organs most often partially atrophy, become susceptible to various ailments and even oncology.

Why do men have a negative attitude towards female frigidity?

It is important for any member of the stronger sex to feel strong and independent. This is especially true of the sexual sphere, it is extremely important for a man to know and feel that he fully satisfies the woman, that it was with him that the woman felt good, like no one else.

When a partner sweats, tries and gives all his best in bed, and in return hears a couple of fake sighs and sees the indifferent face of his beloved, he is disappointed. If such disappointments happen systematically, a man's self-esteem and self-confidence begins to fall. And if the matter is not at all in himself, but simply in the coldness of the woman, then the couple will have an abyss in the relationship.

If we look back and remember the Middle Ages, we can recall that it was considered indecent for a woman to show that she felt joy from sex, but even with those morals, gentlemen preferred passionate natures. That is why men often run from frigid women to the one who will experience a feeling of joy and delight from minutes of intimacy with him.

Why does frigidity arise?

If a woman does not feel pleasure during sex, then it is necessary to establish the cause of this violation:

  1. Psychological reason. Aversion to sex can appear if the first sex was unsuccessful or too painful and this is strongly deposited in the memory of the girl. It should be borne in mind that at the first stages of intimacy, few girls begin to immediately experience an orgasm, perhaps you need to wait a while, better study yourself and your partner. It is much worse when the first sexual experience was completely dark: the girl was raped or the first partner was rude;
  2. It so happens that a girl cannot fully enjoy sex and reach orgasm due to some illness or gynecological problems;
  3. Stress. If there are problems at work, in the family there are any difficulties, children are ill, then it is very difficult to relax even for a minute. Endless problems come to mind, then sex turns into a debt that must be simply and mechanically given to your spouse;
  4. Complexes. Fearing to open up in front of a partner, experiencing tightness, a woman cannot completely relax. He tries to control himself, and therefore it is impossible to reach the peak of pleasure;
  5. Inexperienced partner. No matter how men bragged to each other about their sexual adventures, no matter how they want to seem like the descendants of Casanova, alas, only a few are able to think about their partner and give her true pleasure.

Frigidity in men: what is it?

Frigidity is found mainly in the fair sex, but it turns out that men can also suffer from this ailment. Male frigidity and impotence have a fine line, which is why they are so often confused. But if impotence is a lack of erection, then frigidity in young people, as well as in girls, is a lack of desire, not associated with physiology.

The reasons for frigidity in young people are the same as in girls:

  • Psychological. When there was a series of failures in sex life;
  • Stress;
  • Age, in men, over the years, desire may simply disappear. Moreover, with an absolutely normal state of health.

How is this disease treated?

If frigidity has an extreme stage - that is, it is expressed in a complete aversion to sex, then it can be argued that this is nothing more than a pathological abnormality that should be treated by an experienced doctor, sexologist or psychotherapist.

  • It is necessary to regularly visit a gynecologist, undergo an examination and make sure there are no gynecological diseases or any physiological abnormalities (for example, bending of the uterus). If there are any, then it is necessary to undergo a course of treatment.
  • Try to get to know yourself better and feel free to tell your partner about your desires. Experiment in bed, try different positions.
  • You can also use folk methods, there are many recipes for drinks and aphrodisiac dishes, and they often include radish! Yes, yes it is radish! But even a mug of warm milk with ghee can awaken desire.
  • Aromatherapy. Even in ancient times, people knew that different smells can affect human brain activity. Add a couple of drops of ylang ylang, clove, bergamot, or sandalwood oil to a warm bathroom and soak for ten minutes.

Sexual health is inextricably linked to overall health. Balanced nutrition, good sleep, sports are the key to excellent physical shape. But for delicate areas there are even special Kegel exercises. With regular exercise, they are able to completely change the feelings of girls during intimacy for the better.

Every woman wants harmony in her family. After all, happiness is not only a full refrigerator of food, but also complete harmony in bed. To get satisfaction from intimacy, you need to be literate and be aware of possible problems in this area. Many men are unaware that their wives can be frigid, or how troublesome this problem is.

Frigidity - what is it

The concept of "frigidity" today is familiar not by hearsay. What is it? In other words, frigidity is sexual coldness.

With hypolybidemia, there is no attraction to a partner. This is coldness, indifference to the copulation process. Sex drive is reduced or completely absent, and the climax in sex does not occur.

Mostly women are frigid. Why it happens?

Manifestations of frigidity in women

In the fair sex, frigidity manifests itself in different ways.

Varieties of frigidity:

Sex therapists have found that those girls who, at a young age, were engaged in self-gratification, during sexual contacts with a sexual partner, three times more likely to experience orgasm. Whereas women, whose sexual activity is minimal, after a while are exposed to frigidity.

Frigidity in men

Not many people know about the existence of male frigidity. It is expressed in the dissatisfaction of a man in the process of sexual intercourse. Regardless of what kind of partner is in sexual relations with a man, he does not experience sensations during intercourse.

The first alarming "bells" of male frigidity include impotence, erectile dysfunction, and even a weak erection.

It is not surprising that male coldness to intercourse often leads to separation of spouses. After all, men, unlike women, are not able to show willpower and pretend that there is complete harmony in bed.

Today people know what frigidity is, and understand that to combat this condition, you need to make every effort. Therefore, if it became noticeable that the sexual partners have significantly cooled to each other, you must immediately seek help from a qualified doctor.

Symptoms of sexual coldness

To know for sure how to determine frigidity, you need to understand that it can be different:

  • imaginary - frigidity, which appeared as a result of the influence of psychological, social or physiological factors;
  • true- characterized by malformed genitals or altered as a result of trauma. A woman cannot experience pleasure in bed.

In order to answer the question of what frigidity is, independently, women are encouraged to pay attention to the following factors:

If the answer to at least one question is satisfactory, you don't have to worry - there is no frigidity. In other cases, it may simply be a decrease in libido. After contacting a doctor, this problem will be successfully resolved.

Many people consider anyone who does not have an orgasm during intercourse as frigid women. But it is not so. Frigidity manifests itself in different ways. Some women have a hostile attitude towards copulation, others go for it when fulfilling their marital duties, considering intimacy with their husbands mandatory. Still others may orgasm in their sleep.

It used to be that if a woman had no orgasm, she had an inept or lazy partner. But today the opposite has been proven: there are very few frigid women; lazy, illiterate and inexperienced women are more common.

After all, women can experience pleasant sensations when masturbating. In half of them, the clitoris is very sensitive compared to the vagina. Such women report that they experience an orgasm, but only if the partner provides additional stimulation of the clitoris with his fingers. Similar actions during intercourse can be performed by the woman herself.

Causes of sexual coldness

Everyone who suffers from dissatisfaction in bed should know what frigidity in women is, and that there are many reasons for its manifestation. Among them are the fear of getting pregnant, an inept partner, ignorance of their erogenous zones, a disturbed hormonal background.

It happens that in childhood or adolescence there have been psychological trauma associated with sexual intercourse. Or there were medical abortions, rape.

A woman experiencing pain during intercourse will also not be satisfied. Sometimes sexually transmitted diseases or gynecological diseases that are not treated in a timely manner, as well as diseases of the genitourinary system, affect.

In other cases, a woman feels frigid after childbirth. Sometimes it is temporary, and this condition is due to fatigue after carrying and giving birth to a child.

If a woman is breastfeeding her baby, the hormone prolactin is released during lactation. He is responsible for the amount of milk. Sometimes in girls, the hormone is secreted in large quantities. Ultimately, this leads to the onset of frigidity.

Stressful situations are negatively affected, as well as excessive focus on achieving orgasm.

In addition, doctors do not recommend raising children extremely strictly. Puritan upbringing, or another, based on any prohibitions of a sexual nature, also strongly influences a woman's sensuality and her attitude towards sex. Sometimes frigidity can begin as a result of prolonged abstinence from sexual intercourse.

In men, the causes of frigidity are much less.

What to do in case of aversion to sex?

If a woman has all the signs of frigidity, you need to honestly talk about it with your partner. Probably, a woman will only need to change her sense of tact or fulfill any secret desires, and treatment of anorgasmia will not be needed.

If there is a need to see a doctor, you can come to an appointment with a gynecologist, psychotherapist or sex therapist. When establishing anorgasmia, specialists will help get rid of the disease.

The sensuality of a lady directly depends on the circumstances in which she is. There is an opinion that she enjoys sex even in her early youth. But it is not so. Sometimes a woman begins to experience an orgasm only after marriage or the birth of a baby.

In medicine, the definition of "temporary frigidity" is called retardation.

Stress and overwork can lead to frigidity. Harmonious relationships between partners are also hampered by unspoken resentments, discontent, stress, high demands and incomprehensible relationships.

In addition, anorgasmia can occur due to the absence of sensitive erogenous zones. They can be found on the body of people in the most unexpected places. This can be the crease of the elbow, earlobe, or the big toe. If these zones are found, you can unexpectedly awaken sensuality, and at the same time the ability to experience vivid orgasms.

Frigidity diagnosis and treatment

Of course, the treatment of frigidity should begin with a visit to the doctor. It is best to do this with a male partner. Only harmonious relationships between people will help get rid of anaphrodisia.

It is necessary to be examined by a gynecologist and a psychologist. As a result of the examinations, the doctor will decide how to treat frigidity in women. If it turns out that the hormonal system has malfunctioned, the doctor will prescribe hormones. If you need to work with a psychologist, he will help eliminate the inability to test orgasm.

Frigidity




Some women prefer not to advertise the problem. Some do not consider her serious, others are afraid that the spouse may be offended. However, by pretending, a woman is doing worse to herself, because she does not get satisfaction in bed.

Turning to a doctor, a woman should understand that he needs to tell everything about her experiences and problems. And the treatment should be carried out without fail. The main thing is the positive attitude of the partners. A woman should not feel ashamed or embarrassed when dealing with a doctor. And he, in turn, to help the patient, must be patient, tactful and professional in his field.

Medicines for the treatment of frigidity

In some cases, frigidity in women goes away after consulting a sexologist and taking medications. The most effective are recognized:

Herbal preparations can be used to treat frigidity. But it is also advisable to select them with a doctor.

It has been proven that the lack of satisfaction in sex in a woman's life is directly related to her health. Namely, the mental state. Headaches may occur, premature aging of the body begins, irritability.

In addition, the wife's frigidity often has a negative impact on the health of the spouse. He may have urological diseases and all sorts of psychological problems, which leads to a decrease in potency.

After undergoing treatment, a woman often gets rid of frigidity and enjoys life, having fun in bed.

Sexual dysfunctions in women differ in many respects from those in men and, although they are very common, they are still surprisingly little studied.

WHAT IS "FRIGIDITY"?
Frigidity is sexual coldness, lack of interest in sex. With true frigidity, erogenous zones are not sensitive, and sexual intercourse is indifferent. A woman who lacks sexual desire and who, upon sexual stimulation, does not experience sexual arousal, usually does not reach orgasm, is called frigid.

REASONS OF FRIGIDITY
Its reasons can be physiological or psychological. Women's sexuality is highly dependent on psychological factors, so a woman may stop experiencing sexual desire and satisfaction due to conflicts in the family, fear of unwanted pregnancy, rape, strict upbringing, sexual troubles in childhood, lack of effective sexual stimulation, depression. And also an important role is played by inflammatory processes of the pelvic organs (inflammation of the ovaries, appendages, uterus) and infectious diseases such as chlamydia, gardnarelosis, etc.

WHAT IS FRIGIDITY IN WOMEN?
Manifestations of frigidity are very diverse: some women do not like copulation, and they perform it as a conjugal duty, through force; others experience moderately pleasant sensations, but nothing more; the third orgasm is only in a dream.

More often, however, a woman's inability to experience sexual satisfaction is explained more simply - by the ignorance of her partner, who is not able to induce her orgasm. Previously, the dogma prevailed that there are no frigid women, but there are bad men. Now the opinion has been proven that there are almost no frigid women, but there are lazy, inexperienced, illiterate women.

Education from childhood is of great importance. In order for a girl to develop sexuality correctly, in the first three years of her life she should receive as much attention and affection as possible.

Many women, after reading novels and watching movies, believe that an orgasm is something like a fireworks or the eruption of Vesuvius. However, in reality, orgasm can be quite subtle.

Sex is tenderness and love, so a woman should do everything possible so that the sexual tastes and preferences of the chosen one meet her requirements.

Most women complain that they get much more pleasure during masturbation than during intercourse. Statistics say that women who masturbate before the onset of sexual activity, frigidity occurs 3 times less often, because at the same time there is an experience to experience an orgasm. This raises the question: is masturbation good or bad? One thing is clear that prolonged abstinence can provoke stagnant prostatitis and impotence in men, and frigidity in women.

A frank relationship between partners can help in such a delicate situation, allowing them to know what gives each of them the greatest pleasure. The main thing is not to be shy or afraid to assert your rights to sexual gratification.

INFLUENCE OF FRIGIDITY ON SEXUAL AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIP
In our country, 42% of frigid women - and every third marriage ends in divorce. And after all, this percentage of women does not go to the monastery and does not remain in the old maidens. They get married, want to be happy - and bring misfortune to their husbands. Of course, if these husbands are normal themselves.

Another good example: a young girl at the age of 18 married a man who is 6 years older than her. She was shy of her husband. During sexual intercourse with him, orgasm did not come. She did not dare to tell him what preliminary preparation she needed, as she was afraid that her husband would regard such a request as a "dirty perversion." Gradually she became frigid in relation to her husband. Once at the resort she cheated on her husband. The lover, before the start of the act, did what the husband had never done. She experienced the strongest sexual satisfaction. Upon returning home, she began to experience a feeling of remorse that she had cheated on her husband, and a “feeling of shame” in front of her daughters. She categorically refused to have the doctor talk to her husband about her sexual needs. And this wife has gone to a psychiatrist for the third time. And a normal husband does not know or understand anything of this. What to do? Divorce this wife? But he lived with her for 24 years - and loves her, although she is simply not capable of loving him. And they have two children, whom he loves too. And he is already 48 years old - at that age it is a little difficult to start a second life. But everything could have been avoided if the two of them had consulted a doctor on time, and not withdrawn into themselves.

Sometimes frigidity, like impotence, mysteriously disappears when you change your partner. The reason for such a miracle should be sought in the peculiarities of the marital relationship. The monotony of sexual activity reduces mutual attraction.

And yet frigid women are able to love and bring happiness to the husband and children with attention, care and affection.

IS LOSS OF ORGASM HARMFUL FOR A FRIGID WOMAN?
Lack of sexual satisfaction in a woman's life has a bad effect on her health: it has a bad effect on the psyche, causes irritability, headaches, early aging - and this is a small part of the consequences. Doctors do not associate frigidity and infertility, although they still have intersection points.

HOW DOES A WOMAN'S FRIGIDITY AFFECT HER MAN'S POTENTIAL?
Female frigidity primarily affects the psyche of a man. Naturally, a man is overcome by thoughts: I do not excite my beloved woman, I do not cause desire in her; maybe she is cold because she doesn’t love me, etc. A man will have a bunch of problems and diseases of an urological nature, which will cause a decrease in potency. Her aversion to sex will first lead to a decrease in sexual intercourse, and then to their complete absence. If such a couple does not go to the doctor, the man will have only two ways out - either he will become impotent, or he will go to another woman.

FRIGIDITY TREATABLE?
Treatment of frigidity is not only possible, but also necessary. You can and should fight for love. Treatment requires an individual approach, the duration and content of treatment are decided only in the course of therapy! Professionals note that very positive results in the treatment of frigidity were achieved as a result of the use of the phytotherapeutic drug TONGKAT ALI PASAK BUMI. The drug TONGKAT ALI PASAK BUMI has a positive effect on the female body as a whole, improving immunity and blood circulation and increasing work capacity, relieving mental and physical fatigue; as well as on the female genital organs, increasing libido, normalizing the microflora of the vagina, eliminating the unpleasant sensations of itching and dryness after intercourse, reducing the soreness of menstruation, and normalizing the cycle.

Orgasm does not always depend on technique or the number of partners. In the same way, it can not be achieved with a beloved man. In short, a woman is a complete mystery. But not even decide, but suggest in which direction to move, it is possible only after consulting a doctor. After all, every woman wants to love, be loved and enjoy it. And if for some reason it doesn't work out, then you need to look for it, and the result will definitely be!




The term frigidity comes from the Latin frigidus, which means cold. This concept means sexual coldness. If a woman is frigid, then she is not at all interested in sex and intimate relationships. During intercourse, she does not experience pleasure and emotions. He can only cause disgust.

To understand what frigidity means, it is worth remembering the following. Stimulation of the erogenous zones will not lead to any reaction, and arousal will not come. Frigidity can be divided into imaginary and true. True frigidity is not so common and is considered a pathology. This is typical for women who have an innate undeveloped sexual sensitivity. With true frigidity, a woman does not strive for intimacy with a man, but, on the contrary, avoids it. Also, during intercourse, a woman does not show the reaction that occurs in most of the fairer sex. A frigid woman is not emotionally satisfied with sex. But everything that happens to her is not her fault. However, women who are prone to frigidity can flirt and flirt with the opposite sex.

Most often, women have imaginary frigidity. It could start because of the physiology of the body, or it could be caused by psychological trauma. Frigidity can be attributed to a disease that can develop with a combination of several reasons. These are: mental, microsocial and somatic. A woman can become frigid if she is prone to psychopathy or endogenous psychosis. Much also depends on the character. Women who are shy, indecisive and prone to negative emotions can suffer from frigidity.

There are also reasons that could provoke frigidity. For example, if a woman is raped or deprived of her virginity against her will. Also, discomfort during sex can affect the desire to engage in it. Frigidity can also develop with drug or alcohol abuse.

If the partner is unpleasant to the woman, then physical connection with him can make her cold and disgust for sex. Also, often the cause of frigidity is a sluggish state of the body, rapid fatigue, the inability to endure prolonged physical stress. There are times when a woman cannot reach orgasm and constantly focuses on this, then her desire to have sex disappears.

Stress, various diseases, hormonal disorders can affect the occurrence of frigidity. Therefore, a woman needs to monitor her health and, if necessary, consult a doctor. It is also important to remember that the absence or inability to achieve orgasm is not at all signs of frigidity. The partner must understand this and do so that the woman does not have a complex because of this. Since this can also cause frigidity. This condition is considered a disease, but it can be cured of. It is enough just a woman's desire to fight this problem. For this, it is not even always necessary to consult a doctor, there are a lot of folk remedies.

We wanted to learn more about the causes of frigidity, the mechanism of its development and how to cure this ailment, and make a good informational article for our readers. But it turned out that the topic of female frigidity raises many unexpected and acute questions in people.

What is female frigidity and how does it manifest itself? What causes a lack of sexual desire in women or a decrease in it? At what point does not having sex become a problem? What if I don't want a husband, but I want a rainbow beaver from my fantasies? What if I don't want to have sex with anyone at all, is that okay?

In answering questions, you can't do without experts. Sex coach Evgenia Surgutskaya, psychologist Vasilisa Rusakova and psychologist Olga Adamovich agreed to help us. As a result of this spontaneous triple co-authorship, an interesting vision of the topic was born.

For a deeper understanding of yourself and your sexuality, it is useful to read first the info block, and then the answers to popular questions from readers, which are given at the end of the material.

In most cases, when talking about the loss or decrease of sexual interest, they mean precisely female frigidity. But why exactly women face this problem much more often than men? There is a hypothesis that as a result of natural selection, men who do not feel sexual desire and are incapable of procreation did not leave offspring and died out. Women, on the other hand, are able to become pregnant even in the absence of orgasm or sexual desire, and therefore today they often have a violation of libido.

To understand the nature of frigidity, it is important to know its causes. There are 2 categories of reasons:

  • physiological;
  • psychological.

Sex is one of the basic human needs, in the realization of which both the body and the psyche take part.

Frigidity is also called hypolybidemia or anaphrodisia, and from a medical point of view, this sexual dysfunction includes several disorders that have the following ICD 10 codes:

  • F0 - absence or loss of sexual desire;
  • F0 - aversion to sexual intercourse and lack of sexual pleasure;
  • F3 psychogenic lack of orgasm.

Sometimes the list also includes the code F52.2, failure of genital response, that is, a condition in which a woman does not develop lubrication when sexually stimulated.

All of the above symptoms, taken together or separately, are signs of female frigidity.

Frigidity can be both permanent and temporary. There are 3 degrees of severity of this disorder:

  1. Orgasm is absent, but slight excitement is present, the secret of the sex glands is secreted.
  2. Sexual desire is absent, but there is no interest and pleasure in sex.
  3. Sexual intercourse is unpleasant, painful or disgusting, there is no orgasm, no response to sexual stimulation.

In sexology, several forms of this disorder are also distinguished.

Retardation frigidity

The ability to experience orgasm in some women appears already in childhood, in others after some time after the onset of sexual activity or after pregnancy. This process is individual. The development of this form of frigidity is influenced by upbringing in the family. In most cases, the violation is temporary.

Masturbation will help develop sexual feelings, since experimenting with yourself is an emotionally safe and enjoyable way to explore the eroticism of your own body and find your own personal ways to get maximum pleasure.

Symptomatic frigidity

Decreased sex drive has the following physiological causes of frigidity in women:

  • sensitivity disorders due to any disease;
  • intoxication of the body;
  • avitaminosis;
  • changes in hormonal levels during pregnancy and in the postpartum period.

Severe pain during intercourse also contributes to a decrease in libido:

  • with gynecological diseases;
  • with lesions of the spinal cord or central nervous system.

From psychological reasons, provoking factors are:

  • depression;
  • overwork;
  • depressed state;
  • rejecting, often unconscious feelings for a partner;
  • post-traumatic stress as a consequence of painful or unsuccessful sexual experiences;
  • fear of emotional closeness (a common cause for both women and men);
  • internal conflict (for example, with a suppressed sexual desire for a "forbidden" object).

Ways to help restore sex drive are selected depending on the cause.

Psychogenic frigidity

It arises as a result of the inhibition of sexual functions by psychological factors. Examples of such factors include:

  • rudeness at the first sexual experience;
  • fear of getting pregnant;
  • feeling of dislike for a partner;
  • uncertainty about the strength of the relationship.

It is important to note that psychogenic frigidity is not always a disease, and does not always require long-term psychotherapy.

Constitutional frigidity

Congenital feature. At the same time, the body works completely normal, but these women are not able to experience an orgasm during sexual intercourse due to the anatomical features of the structure of the genitals.

Also called constitutional frigidity is the congenital inability to receive any sexual pleasure. With such a violation, the mandatory symptoms are complete insensitivity of all erogenous zones and the absence of erotic dreams. Constitutional frigidity is extremely rare and can only be diagnosed by a doctor.

Nymphomanic frigidity

Nymphomania is an addiction in which a person uses sex in order to control their condition. Moreover, in most cases, sexual intercourse does not lead to orgasm, but it can give pronounced and varied sensory sensations.

Withdrawal frigidity

It comes as a result of prolonged sexual abstinence. A person seems to get used to sublimate his desires, to do without sexual release. And then, when an attractive partner is already there, he cannot quickly rebuild and become ready for intimacy.

Diagnostics and choice of treatment strategy

The diagnosis of "frigidity" can only be made by a sex therapist. To clarify the causes of frigidity, you may need to consult the following specialists:

  • a psychologist;
  • gynecologist;
  • endocrinologist.

Medical examination and psychological counseling provide important information about the clinical picture and the patient's personality, help to find out the reasons for a decrease or lack of libido and choose the best options for treating frigidity in women.

If a woman wants to change her state, feelings or attitude towards sex, she can use the recommendations of psychologists for self-help.

Popular questions about frigidity and expert answers

It turns out that the issues and challenges women face have a lot in common. Olga Adamovich, psychologist and body-oriented therapist, Vasilisa Rusakova, psychologist and art therapist, and Evgenia Surgutskaya, sex coach (theoretician, practitioner, genius) gave answers on current topics.

All questions were submitted by different people anonymously, thanks to everyone!

Question: Thanks for the help! What can a girl do on her own if she has been raped, or had a very negative sexual experience, after which she no longer wants intimacy or cannot have an orgasm?

Olga: The consequences of such an experience can be more or less severe, it is not always possible to cope with it on your own. Many girls feel better after symbolic actions that "cleanse" them.

Ritual cleansing can take place in any form. Even taking a shower can be such a ritual.

You can wash with a washcloth, and then take a warm bath with a handful of sea salt, if you like the smell of essential oils, then you can use a proven aromatherapy recipe:

  • 2 drops of lavender;
  • 4 - juniper;
  • 2 - orange;
  • 2 - tea tree.

Plunge into the water with your head, exhale under water, imagine that all the dirt is leaving. You can independently come up with other rituals, as long as they give a feeling of purification.

You can also draw your anger or disgust, or other feeling, and then destroy it, tear it up, throw it away, burn it. But such an immersion in the experience is best done together with a psychologist, because different feelings may arise.

Question: And what about women who have not had rape, but had inadequate upbringing in the family, for example, they were taught from childhood that sex is something dirty, unworthy or forbidden? How to get rid of frigidity in this case?

Vasilisa: It is important to understand that negative experience is a very powerful and correct, from the point of view of the psyche, motivation, in order to avoid repeating such an experience by all means.

Painful sexual experience, especially if it was the first, and even more so rape - this is a good reason to be afraid of sex and suppress desire. A woman who has experienced such a thing needs a sufficient amount of time (weeks, months, sometimes years), and most importantly, emotional space to process her pain, helplessness, despair, disgust - all these complex feelings.

Only after a full experience of her painful feelings will she be ready to let in some new ideas about sexuality and new people into her sensory space.

In an alliance with a specialist (psychotherapist, psychologist), traumatic experience can be processed more quickly and with much less losses, so of course, such "post-traumatic" frigidity is an absolute indication for psychotherapy.

In most cases, sexual attraction can be returned, and bodily eroticism from some rejecting area can be made a pleasant way to express and receive love.

Because at some point, distancing occurs, and a deep realization comes that that pain belongs to that painful situation, and not sex in general.

In any case, it is important to listen to yourself and trust yourself, not to make attempts at sexual contact "through force", as this can aggravate everything.

Any emotional reaction, no matter how “pathological” and “meaningless” it may be, is the optimal way out of stress for a given particular psyche, this is the best that the psyche can do.

Therefore, scolding yourself for aversion to sex or considering yourself defective and inferior because of this is cruel, and this can also aggravate everything.

Ideally - to give yourself enough time to worry, to be gentle and gentle to yourself, to regain a sense of security and confidence in your body, and only then (first - mentally and emotionally, and only then - sensually) make attempts to return your sexuality.

Question: Are there medications for women that increase libido? Are stimulating pills working or not, and can they be used to treat frigidity?

Vasilisa: There are hormonal agents that are prescribed by specialists - endocrinologists or gynecologists based on the results of a comprehensive examination. They lead to a natural increase in libido in cases where frigidity is caused by some kind of organic cause.

There are synthetic stimulants, drugs that induce sexual arousal in a person who is under the influence of the drug. This has nothing to do with the treatment of frigidity.

There are various "pharmacy" dietary supplements, aphrodisiacs, pheromones, dried genitals of animals and other means with unproven efficacy. They can work on the principle of suggestion or self-hypnosis, they may not work, they can cause side effects of varying severity. They also have nothing to do with the treatment of frigidity.

Question: I'm 28. After 4 years of living with a guy, I absolutely do not want sex, neither with him, nor with anyone else, although everything was fine before. How to get everything back? Which variant?

Vasilisa: First of all, it is important to understand where the attraction has gone and what is happening. Sometimes attraction disappears due to stress due to problems in the relationship: if there is any violence (not necessarily sexual) from the partner, chronic dissatisfaction with intimacy, fear, suppressed anger or resentment, and so on.

In this case, it makes sense to contact a family or individual psychotherapist and work out the psychological reasons.

If there are no obvious psychological reasons, it is worth being examined by an endocrinologist and gynecologist, especially if the attraction has disappeared abruptly and unexpectedly. If the reason for the decrease in libido is organic, then there are very good chances to return everything with hormonal therapy.

Olga: You definitely need to see a specialist in order to identify the cause of the decrease in sexual desire. What exactly this is connected with is difficult to determine due to lack of information, perhaps you have taken contraceptives that inhibit libido. Perhaps some kind of life situation contributed to the development of a depressive state, there are many options.

Question: I'm 25, we got married 4 years ago. My husband is very cool, but I don't want him. From time to time I fall in love with other men, sometimes I fantasize about them, but I do not cheat on him. What is wrong with me, and why I do not want sex with my husband, and, in principle, sex with any other person, why is masturbation enough for me? Is this a pathology?

Vasilisa: If you are in any way limited and suppressed by the lack of attraction to your husband (and to men), then this can be called a pathology, probably, and treated based on this premise.

On the other hand, if you personally and your husband are satisfied with this state of affairs, then you are not at all obliged to adapt to someone's (even generally accepted) ideas about how everything should be.

The question of what is happening to your libido requires many clarifications - for example, has it always been this way? Do the thoughts of sex or anything else turn you on by themselves? Are you comfortable in close relationships in general?

There can be many reasons, a solid part of them can be attributed to deep inner conflicts of the personality, which are associated with fears, conflicting desires, social and moral prohibitions, moral restrictions, which were consciously or unconsciously learned in childhood.

A psychologist or psychotherapist can help you figure it out, but how much is necessary is up to you.

Olga: I would like to clarify, and when you got married, was your husband sexually attractive to you? Have you previously experienced pleasure in bed with him?

Probably, he does not know how to please you, you can, in order not to hurt his feelings, offer a game in which you will guide him, suggest what and how you like it, and what is not very good.

Question: I lost my sexual attraction to my husband for about six months. Previously, everything was fine, and sex was regular, now it is much less frequent and mostly only at his request. We have been together for 2 years, we have been married for half a year. We have no children, and we cannot get pregnant for about a year, and this is also stressful for us. What's wrong with me and why don't I want sex?

Vasilisa: Perhaps your mention of unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant is a signal about the psychological reason for the decrease in desire. You can be very worried that the desired pregnancy is not coming, and in this regard, you can feel tension, anxiety around sexuality. Such stress in itself may well have a negative effect on attraction.

In addition, often such situations are accompanied by a feeling of inferiority of their body, some kind of vulnerability, "defectiveness", if there is - it is not surprising that sex has become an "arena" for the battle of conflicting feelings and has turned not at a moment of intimacy, but into what hard emotional work.

Sometimes at such moments it is useful to put off the idea of ​​pregnancy for a while and focus on communicating with your partner, find other ways to manifest and receive love - bodily or not, take time for each other and take care of your emotional state.

Olga: Probably you are so worried about the non-coming pregnancy that unconsciously you may feel disappointed in your husband and this may be the reason for your cooling down towards him.

It is desirable for you to harmonize your condition, yoga, swimming, massage, reflexology, find something that will allow you to relax, cope with stress.

In most cases, difficulties with the onset of pregnancy arise precisely because of the woman's inability to relax. You can consult your gynecologist, who can prescribe medication to reduce anxiety.

Question: On the topic of frigidity, the following - in my life there were two long-term relationships, after a year in both cases there was a lack of desire. Now I am writing, and I feel that physical is tied here. perception of yourself, your body, and even the desire to change the environment. I do not know if this is normal, and how they live with it.

Vasilisa: It is significant that in both cases the periods of relationships before the decrease in attraction are approximately the same - this may be a signal that the dynamics of relationships (both external relationships with a partner, and internal relationships with one's own sexuality) are also similar, and the source of decreased libido is likely is rooted in your personality, self-perception and habitual reactions in relationships.

Usually after about a year, the relationship moves from a passionate crush to a calmer, but more intimate stage. If in such closeness you begin to feel less confident and attractive, then perhaps you can talk about some kind of anxiety in front of an emotionally close relationship, which requires building boundaries and, as it were, physically protects you from "merging" with a partner.

Is this normal and how do they live with it? In principle, quite a few couples live without sex. Perhaps a lack of attraction can be considered a perfectly normal situation if you (and your partner / s) are happy with it.

On the other hand, the lack of sexual attraction is often just the tip of the iceberg, under which there are a number of other emotional problems, and in total this all somehow limits and reduces the quality of life, deprives some of the pleasant opportunities that sex and, in general, intimacy in long-term relationships provide.

So it may make sense to deal with the reasons and work them out with a psychologist / psychotherapist so that sex continues to delight you for many years and gets better over time.

Q: There are many sex training sessions out there, can they help bring the sensation back?

Evgeniya: Yes, they can. But it depends on what state the woman is in, what is the reason for the violations, what kind of experience she had. Such trainings are usually attended by psychologists and sexologists who face similar problems on a daily basis and have sufficient qualifications.

On the personal example of a huge number of women, it has been proven that sex training gives self-confidence and reveals sexual potential. Also, in such courses, they give advice on the use of various techniques and drugs that may be helpful.

Question: Does the birth of a child affect the decrease in libido?

Evgeniya: Decreased libido after childbirth is a fairly common occurrence. This is due to two main factors. Pain during childbirth and unpleasant sensations after (which last long enough) cause a negative association of "the consequences of sex" - this is a psychological reluctance to repeat painful sensations.

Also, the lack of desire is influenced by fatigue from caring for a child - this is already a physical reluctance. Both causes and their variations disappear over time: pain is forgotten, and fatigue becomes less noticeable with experience.

Question: Do special devices for strengthening muscles help to get rid of frigidity?

Evgeniya: In some cases, when frigidity has no psychological reasons, special devices help to prepare a woman purely physically for pleasure. In addition, a good vaginal ball or expander maintains the tone of the pelvic muscles, which is important for health.

Question: Do aroma oils really exist that awaken desire?

Olga: Yes, there are essential oils that can awaken sexual desire and enhance sexual activity. Feminine Enhancing Oils:

  • the Rose;
  • jasmine;
  • geranium;
  • lavender.

Enhancing Masculine Oils:

  • cardamom;
  • cedar;
  • nutmeg;
  • patchouli;
  • sandalwood.

Aromatic oils are not a panacea, but they can be used in combination with the main treatment.

The material was prepared by: Olga Adamovich, Vasilisa Rusakova, Evgenia Surgutskaya.

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