For husbands: instructions for dealing with a pregnant wife. Pregnant woman and husband: we maintain harmony in the family in a difficult period

Earlier (in the article "1 week") we dwelled on the question of whether. For now, let's just say that 2 weeks of embryonic development is a special period. At this time, the fertilized egg is implanted in the uterine cavity. The body responds with some hormonal changes followed by funny effects. For instance:

• hardening of the nipples;
• discomfort, discomfort in the lower abdomen (and what is special going on there?);
• loss of appetite, nausea;
• change in taste preferences.

Every woman in an interesting position experiences all or some of the symptoms herself.

How best to support early pregnancy

The first weeks of the “interesting situation” are the most important in terms of survival, the very existence of this condition. Alas, it happens that the mother's body does not accept the egg. In order to maximize the chances for the normal course of the process, you need to:

• Minimize stress. If external negative influences cannot be avoided, then try to concentrate on subjective calming factors: knitting, observing nature. In a word, the one that calms.
• Eat well. Diet has been proven to interfere with the maintenance of this fragile condition. Our body has existed for millions of years in primeval conditions. Where the lack of food or its scarcity is a reason not to breed. The composition is also important. Greens and fresh vegetables favorably affect reproductive activity. Read more about this in the article "P".
• Drink the medicines prescribed by your doctor. Usually they prescribe complex vitamins, folic acid.
• Monitor well-being: discharge, pain.

Is Fatigue and Sleepiness Normal During Pregnancy?

A strong hormonal shock is a reason for the stress of the body. And at this time, for a woman, a state of some fatigue and drowsiness is absolutely normal. All resources gradually accumulate around one area, thus strengthening, for example, spring or autumn beriberi. Falling asleep in an upright position in transport is normal! Give the body what it needs and all processes will return to normal. What could be more important than the health of the unborn child? No amount of money earned or a career is worth it. I know this for sure.

That is why it is so important for women in an interesting position to eat right and get enough sleep. By taking time for herself now, she invests in the future. The first time of waiting for a baby is not only the most exciting, but also the most important in terms of laying the neural tube and organs. Do you want to have an athlete? Allow yourself more rest. Do you want a smart child? Get enough folic acid (found in greens and more) before conception to give your brain something to grow from.

How to React to Light Bleeding During Pregnancy

Any unplanned bleeding should be treated by a doctor. Only he can tell if it's worth worrying about. If you haven't been to gynecology yet, it's time to visit her. If the test has already shown the coveted two strips (or), then you will be “registered” and will get a special card.

Some minor bleeding may not be dangerous at all. On the contrary, they are completely natural. The fact is that in the first weeks of pregnancy, a fertilized egg is fixed in the wall of the uterus. Part of the tissue for this is removed. In this regard, the concept of implantation bleeding has been fixed. The tissues exit through the most direct path for this. Such bleeding is not heavy and usually not accompanied by pain, you should not panic about it.

How often do you go to the gynecologist during pregnancy

Being in an interesting position, get ready to go to the antenatal clinic regularly, at least once a month in the first trimester (up to 12 weeks), in the second (from 13 to 29 weeks) - once every 3 weeks, in the third (from 28 weeks) - every 2 weeks, after 36 - every week. And these are only examinations on which pressure, weight are measured, vaginal examinations are performed (at least three times during pregnancy). Analyzes will have to be taken separately.

Is it ok to run in early pregnancy?

It is known that moderate exercise during a normal pregnancy has a positive effect. There are cases (threats of interruption: tone, dilatation of the cervix) in which a woman is not recommended to run, but in most scenarios, moderate morning, afternoon or evening runs can only improve the condition of the expectant mother. They improve blood circulation and the general condition of mother and child. If the gynecologist does not say otherwise, running in the early stages of pregnancy is possible and necessary. Pregnancy is not a disease. There is no crystal vase inside a woman, but a new person is simply developing. And this person will not interfere with the endorphins that are released during running and enter the bloodstream.

When does nausea start during pregnancy?

Nausea or early toxicosis can be felt before the delay. In any case, everyone who felt pregnancy before the delay claims that this is a sure sign of its onset. For some lucky women, toxicosis never occurs, some suffer throughout pregnancy. But for most, it starts from 2-3 weeks and lasts up to 12. This is how long it takes the body to finally adapt to the "stranger". Do you have toxicosis?

Advice for a future dad. In order to get a little closer to understanding how your pregnant wife feels, try tightening your belt so that it is difficult to breathe, stick a soccer ball or a globe under your shirt, put on tight shoes and walk like that for at least half a day. For a thrill, do housework - wash the floor, wash the laundry soaked in the bathroom, cook dinner.

There are different strategies for the behavior of a "pregnant" husband - someone seeks to earn as much money as possible, believing that the wife should deal with her specific women's affairs, and he is the breadwinner, his business is work. Someone, on the contrary, is constantly interested in the level of hemoglobin in his wife, goes to the doctors with her. And someone from time to time “warms up” with friends, preparing to celebrate a joyful event “in a big way”, leaving her, nature or mother-in-law to take care of her wife.

Everything is going as it should. Of course, a pregnant woman has many reasons for unrest and stress. Surely your wife often looks in the mirror with concern, watching the transformations of her figure. Not only the figure changes; sometimes legs, face swell, age spots appear. All this is quite natural - a cardinal restructuring of all systems takes place in the body of the expectant mother. Together with his wife, her wardrobe is also changing, you need to buy appropriate, looser clothes, it is best to buy women's moccasins on your feet. However, for your wife, your support (just like men) of her appearance is very important. Don't skimp on your compliments. Let's be honest - sometimes external beauty really recedes for a while, but try to discern the inner beauty that every pregnant woman begins to radiate. For a loving man, the wife at this time becomes much closer, sweeter. Tell her more about it.

Maybe you have come across figurines of monkeys from India: one of them closes its eyes - this means “I don’t look bad”; the other closes her ears - "I do not listen to the bad"; another one covers her mouth with her paw, which means “I don’t say bad things.” This is how a pregnant woman should behave. And her relatives, primarily her husband, should help her wife get as many positive emotions as possible. Watch the content of the television programs that the wife watches, and you too; avoid disputes and quarrels; walk more, preferably not in noisy and busy places, but in the park, in nature. An art gallery is preferable to a cafe. Feel free to accompany your wife when she visits the antenatal clinic or clinic. Emotionally, these visits are quite intense, so your psychological support will not be superfluous at all.

It is not always easy for a woman to cook during this difficult period - on the one hand, it may simply be physically difficult for her to stand at the stove for a long time, on the other hand, due to her special sensitivity to odors, occasional nausea may interfere with her. We will not once again remind you of the toxicosis of pregnancy, everyone already knows about this. The help of a man, and sometimes the leading role, is especially important here. In addition, the husband should be aware of modern views on the diet of a pregnant wife. You must strictly ensure that your wife and child receive a sufficiently varied and healthy diet, rich in vitamins and minerals, in particular calcium. And if your wife suddenly becomes capricious and irritable, tell yourself: this is how it should be, so everything is going as it should!

Keep Olympian calm. Such a phenomenon as depression of a pregnant woman is also widely known. As a rule, it occurs in the early stages of pregnancy. The reason for it, in general, is quite natural - a woman understands that there is no turning back. It's only in the song that they sing: "I'm pregnant - this is temporary!" Just as in nature there is a qualitative transition from a caterpillar to a butterfly, so a woman turns into a mother, more and more aware of her responsibility for the health and life of her unborn baby. Share this responsibility with your wife, try so that she does not feel lonely, but is confident in your support and protection. It is the feeling of security that gives a woman confidence that everything will be fine with her and with her child. To better understand the condition of your wife, do not take the trouble to read special books for pregnant women and expectant mothers. For the well-being of the family, take care to maintain good relations with your old and new relatives. Let the period of pregnancy for all adults be like the period of the Olympic Games in antiquity - a time of peace and the rejection of all sorts of showdowns. If you will be taught (and they will definitely be taught), then your reaction can be of three types: “Pinocchio reaction”, which, as you know, first sent a good adviser away, and then completely launched a shoe at him; a position like “I’ll pretend to listen to other people’s advice so as not to annoy anyone, but I’ll do it my own way anyway” and the position “why don’t I really listen to these people, extra wisdom never hurts.” Try to ask your mother and your mother-in-law for some advice yourself - you will see, they will be very pleased.

The child is the man's father. Not all future dads, as, by the way, future mothers, are psychologically ready to become full-fledged parents. Sometimes the news of pregnancy hits them like snow on their heads. - The husband must take care of the pregnant wife, and the wife must take care of the husband, otherwise he may even get sick. Such cases are not uncommon. During pregnancy, nature itself helps a woman, rebuilding her hormonal processes, a man does not have this, says Yulia Postnova, midwife, director of the Jewel parent school. “Many young men begin to fear the challenges ahead. It even happened that some infantile husbands, having learned about the pregnancy of their wife, ran away to their mother. Unfortunately, there are also situations where a man, receiving much less attention from his pregnant wife than before, begins to be jealous of her unborn child. Nature has set aside nine months for the maturation of not only the child, but also his future parents. And the best way to accelerate the growing up of a husband is to take care of his wife and the long-awaited baby. It is also very useful to attend special trainings and seminars for expectant mothers and fathers together.

Communication with a child. You probably already know that there is the so-called perinatal psychology, which studies the patterns of growth and formation of the psyche of an infant in the mother's womb, explores the mechanisms of interaction and communication between a mother and her child during pregnancy. It has long been established that the child in the mother's stomach not only feels her mood, but also hears what is happening around. Of course, the first thing he hears is the beating of his mother's heart. Experiments show that later, when he grows up, he will be able to accurately determine the heart sounds of his mother among many others. This is not surprising, because the child listened to this sound for nine months.

The child also perfectly hears the voice of his mother and distinguishes it from other voices. He understands not only her intonation, but also emotions. If mom is worried, then he starts to worry. This is also quite natural, because he and his mother have a lot in common, right down to the circulatory system.

Experts recommend that mothers talk with the baby, listen to calm, melodic music with him, even read fairy tales with a calm and uncomplicated plot aloud. Then, already at the age of three or four years, the child will recognize and prefer to others exactly the music and those fairy tales that he listened to while being in his mother's stomach. Well, and one more little detail - everyone knows that when a person is nervous, he often bites his nails, chews on a pen or pencil. But a small child in the womb, of course, in late pregnancy, sucks his thumb to calm down. We specifically talk about this with you to show that a child at a certain stage of his intrauterine life is already highly developed and almost “understands everything.” Therefore, dear dads, feel free to communicate with your child. Firstly, this can easily be done through an intermediary wife. Any of your affectionate word or touch addressed to her will be immediately known to the child. He will probably be pleased to know that you and his mother have a good relationship. Secondly, you can just gently stroke your stomach, talk to your baby, listen to his heart beat. It is difficult to convey in words what you will feel when you see the heel of your son or daughter clearly protruding on the surface of your wife's abdomen.

If the pregnancy was unexpected. Have you met people who, with all their intonation, seem to apologize for the fact that they exist; people with very low self-esteem who do their best to take up as little space as possible in space? This behavior is often caused by specific problems that this person experienced while still in the womb - they did not really want him to be born. For a variety of and far from pleasant reasons, his parents had to decide whether or not to be their child. He felt these doubts at a level accessible to his emerging psyche, they determined his development. Such a child needs increased care and love. If at first you had not very good thoughts in relation to the unborn child, then you should not condemn and scold yourself for this. It will be more honest and courageous if you go up to your wife and put your hand on her stomach, just talk to the child, explain everything and apologize. Be sure to say at the end that you love him, well, and promise to go to the circus together in a few years. Practice shows that much more than half of all pregnancies are unexpected, or, as they say, "the stork brought the child." A strong, mature man considers an unexpected pregnancy an unexpected joy. He mentally and aloud tells the child and at the same time his mother and his wife that he is glad for him, that he invites the child to his house, that he already loves him or her now. Here, by the way, I would like to say a few words about the gender of the child. Some of the men really want a son, someone is waiting for a daughter. However, imagine that you come to visit an unfamiliar house, and the owners, as soon as they see you, exclaim in disappointment: “But we were expecting something completely different!” Would you like to hear it? So is the child. Try to set yourself up in advance to accept a child of the gender that fate will send you. You should not say to yourself to calm down phrases like: “Well, let the girl turn out, I will make a real boy out of her” or “Again a boy! Well, next time there will definitely be a daughter.

I remember that when we went through "War and Peace" at school, I was unpleasantly struck by the phrase Nikolai Rostov said about his own child: "A piece of meat ..." Leo Tolstoy, himself, by the way, a father of many children, knew life very well in all its manifestations. The reality is that not always full-fledged fatherly feelings are formed quickly and immediately. In this regard, it is easier for mom - when she proudly shows dad their common work and peers into his face with the hope of seeing tenderness there, she should remember that dad sees the child for the first time, while she most closely communicated with he's almost a year old.

Nature saw to it that the father was more, so to speak, calm in relation to the child; otherwise, it would be difficult for him to leave him at home and go hunting or to work in order to get food for his family. A young dad should not be afraid if he does not find in himself such a storm of positive emotions in relation to his baby that women experience for a child. Do not force things, give yourself time - you'll see, nature will take its toll.

Preparing for childbirth. Do not consider everything related to childbirth as an exclusively female affair. Find out in advance all the possible information about the maternity hospitals available to you. At the same time, find out in more detail what can and cannot be transferred to your wife at the maternity hospital when she is already there. This will save you time and nerves. If you have such an opportunity, then try to take a vacation for the time when the time comes to give birth. With the birth of a child, it will be useful for the three of you to be together. When asked whether the husband should take part in childbirth (as is practiced, for example, in a number of European countries), midwife Yulia Postnova, herself, by the way, the mother of five children, answers as follows: - The direct participation of the husband should be responsible. Childbirth is a joint action of a wife and husband, and only the man who perceives them in this way can participate in them. Otherwise, it will not be participation, but presence, which can only interfere with the wife and medical staff. A good help to wives from those men who are not entirely confident in themselves will be their prayer during childbirth. Most importantly, remember that pregnancy is not only a difficult period that must be endured, it is a period that can bring a lot of joy. Everyone understands that a pregnant woman needs help, but never treat your wife as a suffering, sick person! Pregnancy is the brightest sign of health!

Igor Tatarsky, psychologist

The mental state of a pregnant woman is difficult to describe in words. It can be unequivocally argued that it is almost impossible for men to understand him. Psychologists, by the way, completely agree with this. Only a girl who has already experienced this can understand the state of a woman during pregnancy. Therefore, if you want to help a woman during this period, try to find for her a female psychologist of mature age who has a harmonious family.

But her psychological state, in fact, can be influenced by absolutely the whole environment, of course, starting from her young man and ending even with passers-by. A young man should spend as much free time with a girl as possible, morally supporting her. Believe me, at this period she really needs it.

Keep in mind that all the psychological changes of a girl during pregnancy are all hormonal changes that return to normal after childbirth. So just be patient, that's the best advice.

In the West, by the way, it is recommended for pregnant women to attend self-hypnosis and meditation classes. It's hard to believe, but official statistics claim that it helps pregnant women in more than 90 percent of cases. After all, it has long been known that the treatment of alcoholism with hypnosis reviews to which are the most positive. And there is no doubt that hypnosis really works. After all, the same alcoholism is a physical, not a psychological need. So it is during pregnancy - changes occur in the body, not in the brain.

How else can you stabilize the psychological state of a pregnant girl? Quite simply - use her so-called "little joys". For example, if your girlfriend likes a certain candy - use it! Walking in the park - it's so easy too! And even more so because her young man is sure to know about all her such “weaknesses.” But still, do not forget about consultations with a psychologist. This person has been specially trained, so in certain situations he will still be able to give good advice. In addition, a visit to a psychologist is included in the usual examination. Do not forget about the so-called frank conversations. Give the girl the opportunity to fully speak out. It is very important for her to share her thoughts, especially with a close and dear person. Yes, and you, having heard her thoughts, will be able to understand her better in the end.

Pregnancy is a wonderful, but very exciting time, both for the expectant mother and for her husband, and, as practice shows, men experience this period much more difficult than women. What worries future fathers and how to behave with your pregnant lovers we will tell you today.

In the body of a pregnant woman major changes are taking place , and this absolutely normal natural process . It is only natural for women, but men should prepare as much as possible for this period, at least theoretically, in order to understand what will happen to the wife for these nine months and how to behave in a given situation.

To help your husband survive pregnancy, this wonderful and memorable period of time, our advice will help.

Emotions

One of the most common problems in communicating with a pregnant wife is the speed with which she mood can change . Women are not always emotionally resilient anyway, and during pregnancy, a man should be prepared for the fact that literally just a very cheerful and sweet wife, suddenly, after a few minutes, she will become irritated and nervous, she may even cry.

It's hard for a man to understand because of which such dramatic changes in mood can occur, because there was no specific specific reason for this: you did not swear, your wife did not express dissatisfaction for any reason, she did not hurt anything. What happened, the man thinks, maybe I'm to blame for something? Don't worry, you have absolutely nothing to do with it. Blame it all hormonal background , which changes very quickly in pregnant women, and it is impossible to establish an algorithm for such jumps.

The best and only correct tactic in this case: calmness , restraint and understanding . Hug your wife, calm her down, say that you understand everything, ask how you can help, offer some kind of distraction. If you wish, you can check with your wife what caused such a sharp change in mood, but sometimes she herself will not be able to answer you this question, as this is due to the internal reactions of the body.

However, remember that pregnancy absolutely does not mean that literally before your eyes your wife will turn into a capricious hysteric, some women and girls behave as always, calmly, habitually, and not subject to any particular change in mood .

The course of pregnancy and all the factors accompanying it, both psychological and physiological, are absolutely individual and we're just trying to prepare you for what difficulties in communication with a beloved pregnant woman may arise , but it is not at all necessary that they will definitely accompany you for all 9 months, making your family life unbearable. Believe me, everything will be fine!

Daria Selivanova, psychologist, psychotherapist: “In order for the expectant mother to experience fewer mood swings, she must have a wide range of communication and interests. The world of a pregnant woman should not be confined within the four walls of an apartment, where the husband is the only source of the outside world. In this case, every careless word of the spouse will be perceived by the pregnant woman as a “sentence”, and the refusal to tell you about how his day went, the unequivocal fact that he no longer loves you. Relax, pregnancy is a wonderful state that allows a woman to see herself in a new way, and not only the woman's mood directly, but also the condition of the unborn baby depends on how positive it is. If the pregnancy is easy - go to work, if there are no signs of toxicosis - meet in a cafe with friends, and discuss the size of diapers and lactation features with the same pregnant women, or those who have already given birth, and therefore much more experienced, mothers on the forums, if there is no way to chat live with them. Many women during pregnancy begin to engage in creativity, for example, knit or sew for the unborn baby, felting from wool, beading, embroidery with ribbons will be an excellent activity, or maybe you will discover the talent of a painter or interior designer. The main thing is that your occupation distracts you from gloomy thoughts and allows you to feel your significance.

Nutrition

You are lucky, and you are one of those lucky ones whose wives surprise with their gastronomic whims wanting now an orange, now a salted tomato? Believe me, a pregnant woman is not mocking you, just with the course of pregnancy in the body of a woman, metabolic processes are disturbed , and the need for certain products can appear as quickly as quickly and disappear.

The woman understands the strangeness of her behavior, but, unfortunately, she cannot do anything about it. try satisfy taste preferences your wife and remember that most of the time it will be more important for her not to get this or that dish, fruit or vegetable, but simply to know that you are sympathetic to her desires and state .

Vladislav, one of the loving husbands, whose wife was in an "interesting position" tells: “Being pregnant, Lenka often called me at work and asked me to buy something specific on the way home: either she really wanted green apples, although she didn’t like them in her life, she demanded persimmons, or seeds. I obediently brought all the ordered products home, although sometimes Lenka did not even remember that she had asked me to buy it. We laughed together, I “trolled” her forgetfulness, traditionally offered pickles that my mother gave Lenka from the dacha, and by the way, she didn’t eat a single one during her entire pregnancy, and we solemnly ate all the food I brought together. We often remember this period at home with a smile, our baby is already two years old, but nothing has been forgotten. I recently got into a conversation with a work colleague, and he says that his wife didn’t have such “jokes” during pregnancy, she never wanted anything special and generally ate badly during her entire pregnancy. It’s even strange somehow, but I thought that this happens to all pregnant women, because they even compose jokes on this topic!

Appearance

During pregnancy, every woman pays great attention to their appearance , and often completely unhappy with what she sees in the mirror. It may seem to your beloved that she has become fat and ugly, and because of her appearance, her husband no longer likes her.

Male support during this period very important for every woman : the spouse needs to repeat daily the words about how pregnancy makes a wife beautiful , how he loves her like that and in every possible way show your love to his wife and future child.

An excellent way to demonstrate and prove your love to your wife one more time (and almost mandatory during pregnancy) can be small surprises and nice gifts. A light dinner prepared by your own hands, a disc with your favorite music or a ticket to a good movie, not to mention traditional flowers and sweets, will not require serious financial investments from the husband, but will help the wife to relax, forget about her doubts and realize that she is also loved. , like before.

One more favorite pastime of all women which will help in the fight against bad mood and self-doubt - shopping . Sometimes a pregnant wife refuses to buy beautiful things, citing the fact that there is no need to spend money on clothes that will be worn for a maximum of six months. Convince your beloved that it is absolutely not worth doing this, and go to a specialized store for pregnant women to buy beautiful, high-quality, natural and comfortable clothes for your wife. Seeing herself in the mirror, the expectant mother will certainly feel beautiful, and having bought a couple more new clothes for the future baby, she will be absolutely happy!

In the event that the wife, due to pregnancy, has some food restrictions , it will be great if this is her husband will support , also refraining from the usual diet. Fried, fatty, spicy, salty and preservatives should not be eaten by any person, regardless of gender or pregnancy, you won’t argue with that, will you? This is what is called proper nutrition, thanks to which you not only support your spouse , and you can also improve your digestion and lose weight. Believe me, your wife will appreciate your heroism!

What are these situations and how should the future dad behave in them?

Men are predominantly business people. Usually their position is much more active than that of women, and is aimed at future action. Where a woman asks: “And what will happen now?”, A man will say: “What can I do in this situation?”. When it comes to pregnancy, a future dad can do a lot for his wife and family - you just have to make an effort.

news about pregnancy

Most likely, the moment when you found out that your spouse is pregnant is already in the past. But know: how you reacted to this news, your wife will always remember. Well, if with pleasure. And if not? Remember what you said or did when you found out about the future addition to the family? A woman may be offended by reactions such as "not enough" joy, an overly businesslike approach, or protest ("I'm not ready!").

Husband's reaction to pregnancy

For any woman, the moment of telling her husband about pregnancy has been and remains one of the most significant. If the first reaction was “correct” from the point of view of the expectant mother, she develops a sense of security, which is very important. If “wrong” - a woman feels anxiety, insecurity. She may wonder: Do you need a child as much as she does? will you stay close to her, will you be able to take care of her and the baby? Therefore, if you want to be "protection and support" for your spouse, it is recommended to act.

How to fix the situation?

As the saying goes, there is only one chance to make a first impression. But a lot can be fixed.

Ask your wife, "Remember when you said we were having a baby?" From her story, you will be able to understand whether she is satisfied with your first reaction to the news of pregnancy. If yes, then tell us again about your feelings (after all, you experienced something special when you learned about future fatherhood, didn’t you?). This will deepen the positive “first impression effect”, and a good start, as you know, is half the battle.

It's never too late to rejoice. If you realize that your wife is offended by your reaction (for example, you did not show joy when you received the news of her pregnancy), you need to correct the situation. Most likely, by this time you really feel the joy and pride that you will have an heir. Talk about it, and be as sincere as you can. Find out about the emotions of the expectant mother about this. Joy should not be shared, but multiplied!

Mood swings in pregnancy

It may surprise you that the variability in the mood of your pregnant wife manifests itself so quickly - from the very first weeks of pregnancy. It would seem that there is not even a hint of a stomach, and the “whims” are already right there! Let's open a little secret: when the stomach begins to appear, the mood of the expectant mother will become much more stable. But in the first trimester (up to 12 weeks) you will need to be patient. For the instability of a woman's mood, especially in the first trimester, the hormonal changes that occur in her body in connection with the new condition are responsible. In the first trimester, the concentration of the main pregnancy hormone progesterone increases many times over, causing emotional instability (joy is quickly replaced by tearfulness or irritability). In addition, your wife is in the process of social and psychological adjustment to pregnancy.

How to support your wife during pregnancy?

For a woman, the beginning of pregnancy is a time of great change. It is important for her to understand how the rhythm of her life will change now and what awaits your entire family after the birth of the baby. She herself does not understand why she is now crying with tenderness when she sees an advertisement for diapers with a charming baby doll in the title role, or falls into despondency for no reason. Her own "internal supports" are somewhat shattered, and she simply needs support from the outside. And who, if not you, can provide it?

Realize that mood swings during this period are the norm. Do not be afraid of either unbridled laughter or unexpected tears. Men often take them personally (“I did something wrong”). But during the hormonal storm in the body of the expectant mother in the first trimester, tears can be anything, and most often you have nothing to do with it. Learn to respond to them without guilt.

Just hug your wife when you see her upset or crying, ask what happened and what upset her. Hugs and a sincere desire to help are actions that can say a lot without words: “I love you, I accept you, I am with you.” It's good if you say a few gentle words of love and support. There will be fewer whims and tears if you are gentle and patient. Do not be afraid to "spoil" your wife with manifestations of true care.

Create a favorable climate. Visit exhibitions together, go to the theater with your wife, walk in the park. During pregnancy, it is especially important for spouses to receive positive joint emotions. This balances their emotional background, and there will be much less tears. In addition, the wife will be grateful to you for special attention to her in such an important period of her life, when she especially wants to feel your care.

Avoid "bad reaction". It will be very bad for the woman and for your relationship if you start to angrily ask: “Well, what happened again? How much can you cry?" Not the best option is to demand "stop this whim." Also, an unsuccessful option is to try to ignore the state of the expectant mother, “not to pay attention” to what is happening to her. This can cause great resentment and doubt that you are a caring husband and can be a good father to a baby.

Life changes

When a woman finds out that she is pregnant, she often reconsiders the rhythm of her life. The daily routine, workloads, sports training, hobbies, habits, nutrition, household chores - everything is carefully checked for safety for the baby and the new state of the woman.

The life rhythm of your spouse is part of the general life rhythm of the family. Wives have a great sense of gratitude for husbands who are ready to understand and accept the changes that are taking place.
And even more - if the husbands are ready to change with them. It brings the family together.

Take action!

Changes in the daily routine. If you used to visit nightclubs together, for example, it would be better if both of you give up this hobby for the time being. It is also worth reconsidering the habit of going to bed late, as the expectant mother needs a full sleep of at least 9 hours a day. If possible, let her sleep a little longer, taking over part of the morning household chores.

Changes in workload. Of course, you cannot influence this directly. But your wife will be pleased if you show concern and mention in a conversation that she should not devote herself completely to work now and need to leave more time for rest.

Changes in hobbies. You may have shared hobbies that are not desirable during pregnancy (eg skydiving, extreme recreation). It’s a good option if you keep some of your former hobbies for yourself (the wife can stay at home or be present as a spectator), and devote part of the time to more relaxed leisure time with your wife. Then none of you will feel left out.

Changes in habits. Giving up smoking and alcohol is something that is highly recommended not only for a woman, but also for her husband. Pregnancy is a good opportunity for positive changes associated with the rejection of bad habits. Remember that passive smoking is just as bad for your pregnant wife as active smoking, so it's best to stop smoking.

Nutritional changes. The diet of the expectant mother should become healthier: it should include more fresh vegetables and fruits, boiled, stewed or baked meat and fish. Sausages and smoked meats, overly salty foods, fried foods, and “empty” sweets should almost disappear from it. And it will be good if you support the new principles of nutrition so that your spouse does not have to cook twice or fight the temptation to try the smoked sausage or pickles that you eat so deliciously.

Changes in household chores. Even with a “healthy” pregnancy without any complications, your wife should not carry weights, wash windows, hang curtains and do “major” cleaning, and it is also necessary to limit contact with household chemicals. It's good if you take these responsibilities on yourself or find an au pair. This will help to avoid many threats to pregnancy and your unborn baby.

Sex during pregnancy

Sex is a fairly important part of family life. Men, when they find out that their wife is pregnant, sometimes get lost, thinking about how their sex life should now change. The range of male reactions ranges from "everything should be as before" to "probably it is better to completely exclude sex before childbirth, so as not to harm the child." The truth, as always, is in the middle.

How to support your wife

It's good when a man is "savvy" in such an important topic as sex during pregnancy. Try to take an active position, because a woman may experience no less confusion in these matters than you. She just needs your confidence and knowledge!

What to do?

Focus on the opinion of the doctor. If there are no contraindications, then you should not give up sex for the entire period of pregnancy, because this is a wonderful way to show love and tenderness to each other. But if the doctor recommends abstaining for a certain time, then traditional sexual contact should be excluded. Agree with your wife that she will inform you about the doctor's recommendations. She must be sure that you will be ready to listen to them and take the information calmly.

Develop a new rhythm of sexual life. Pregnancy is unpredictable: sexual desire can both decrease and increase. It is good if you are more guided by the desires of your wife. In no case do not allow open dissatisfaction with the fact that she now "does not want", "can not" or is uncomfortable in certain poses. This can only achieve resentment and consolidation of the situation, but already at the level of the problem.

Looking for information! Sex during pregnancy is something special. It should become more tender and delicate. Together with your wife, look for information about what positions are most favorable and comfortable during pregnancy, as well as about the possibilities to diversify sexual contacts during those periods when traditional sex is prohibited by a doctor.

Degree of participation

Pregnancy is not only a condition of a woman, but also a 9-month journey that a couple goes through. And this means that the participation of a man in this process is necessary. It is incredibly interesting to watch how a woman changes, her body, her outlook on life while waiting for a baby. And you, too, are changing, preparing for fatherhood!

How to support your wife

Because your wife needs special attention to the new challenges that your family faces during this period. Pregnancy creates the foundation for future parenthood. And who, if not a man, is called to build and create?

What to do?

Show interest. Interest in pregnancy issues has a very positive effect on family life. You don't have to go to the doctor together every time, but always ask how the doctor's visit went. Don't wait for your wife to tell you this herself. It is important for a woman that it was you who showed interest.

Be close to your wife in important moments. Whenever possible, try to accompany your wife for ultrasound and other studies, because in most cases a woman is worried about such events. If you find any problems, you can immediately support her. And if the news is good, then what could be better than sharing the joy for two!

Participate in choosing a dowry for the baby. For the psychological well-being of a woman, it is important to prepare the house and things for the arrival of the child. Be patient and take her to the grocery store for the baby. Try to be sympathetic to the fact that she will freeze tenderly in front of shelves with tiny clothes or children's toys. If you express the opinion that “this is the” suit you like and it is worth buying, the expectant mother will be pleased that you are taking part in choosing things for the crumbs. Choosing a crib and stroller can fully capture the future dad. After all, you will be able to appreciate how these things are made in terms of strength, convenience and safety.
Prepare the house for the birth of the baby. This is truly a man's "patrimony"! Decide with your wife if repairs are needed, and if so, what they will be. If repairs are needed, do not put it off “for later”: when the baby is born, you will not have time for ceilings and wallpaper for a couple more years. Try to protect your wife from repair work as much as possible. The best option is when the expectant mother participates only in the choice of materials and accepts work.

information preparation

As the saying goes, "he who is warned is armed." It is good when future parents are armed with information from the very beginning of pregnancy. And it's just wonderful when a man takes an active part in this!

Why is it important for you to take action?
Remember the saying “One head is good, but two is better”? If you and your wife get information together, then she always has a chance to ask you: “Do you remember, we read together? ..” If health problems arise and you need to decide exactly how to act, the help of a man is invaluable. A woman can get confused and forget what she read or heard about. Practice shows that men at such moments behave more purposefully and successfully take a leading role in decision-making.

How to support your wife

Read the same literature as the wife; be proactive in seeking information about pregnancy and childbirth. Recent studies have shown that only 40% of future fathers pick up books and magazines related to pregnancy and childbirth, and then mainly at the initiative of their wives. But reading special literature is extremely important! It is she who will help you better understand the changes that occur to a woman during pregnancy, learn about how childbirth and the postpartum period go, and about many other important points. In the second half of your pregnancy, start collecting information about the basics of baby care, as this will help both of you feel more confident when your baby is born.

If possible, attend childbirth preparation courses together. Do not be “shy” and send only your wife to such courses. The programs of modern courses are designed to prepare a couple of parents for childbirth, even if the birth is not joint. The presence at the courses will allow you to ask all your questions directly to specialists, to get all the information "first hand". You will be able to better understand the changes taking place with your wife, as well as provide her with moral support.

Preparing for childbirth

Childbirth is a woman's business. Yes or no? The process itself, yes. Preparation for it is not. Your support will help not only the expectant mother, who in this case will feel more confident in childbirth, but also you, even if you expect the result without being present in the delivery room.

Why is it important for you to take action?
Choosing a doctor and a place for childbirth is a big responsibility that you are advised to share with your wife. Will the wife go to the birth place “where they will be taken” in an ambulance, or will you decide in advance on the maternity hospital where the miracle of the birth of your baby will happen? Will you both meet in advance with the doctor who will help you through the birth process? Will the birth be joint? You should know the answers to all these questions in advance.

How to support your wife

And again - the search for information! Be proactive in helping your wife choose an option for future births. The Internet provides a wealth of information, and you can help your spouse organize it. It is not at all easy for a woman, especially in the last weeks of pregnancy, on the wave of growing anxiety, to cope with this on her own.

Get to know your doctor. If you decide to give birth to a specific specialist, then get to know the doctor in advance. Your wife will feel more secure when she comes to the appointment with you and sees you asking questions about the upcoming birth and beyond.

Make a decision in advance about whether the birth will be joint. The main recommendation is this: if one of the spouses is against joint childbirth, then it is better to refuse them. You can find a compromise if the wife wants you to participate in childbirth, and you are not too ready for this. You can accompany your wife in the first stage of labor (during contractions), and in the second (when the baby is born), she will be left alone with the team of doctors. You will be able to enter the delivery room again when the baby is already born. And remember: even in this case, your couple must be prepared before giving birth. You need to know exactly how labor goes, what is “normal” and what should be alarming. If you are with your wife during childbirth, you must know the techniques that can help her.

The waiting time for a child is not an easy “strength test” of the family and relationships in it. And this is just the beginning of a difficult journey called “parenthood”. Therefore, try to act in such a way as to lay a solid foundation. But, of course, do not forget about affectionate words for your pregnant wife. In those moments when she is seized by anxiety, a few encouraging words from you will be indispensable. This is the case when the word is also the deed.