Men with whom long-term healthy relationships are impossible. Types of men with whom you cannot enter into a serious relationship Devaluation of value - and a woman will lose it altogether

Irresponsibility manifests itself in different spheres of life and is formed under the weight of circumstances. A colleague is late for a meeting every time, a child loses books, pencil case or wallet, a sister has forgotten about her parents' anniversary. The people around them suffer from the devil-may-care attitude of a loved one or employee. Clueless people blame others for their troubles, their behavior is similar to children. How does irresponsibility manifest itself? How to behave with an irresponsible person: demand to take up the mind or regret?

What is irresponsibility?

Confusion develops over the course of a person's life. It does not belong to heredity, so stop going through relatives if you got a husband-child. Inaction, unwillingness to work on oneself form disregard. This is the clear position of the person who made such a choice or was forced to do so.

What is irresponsibility in life? This is the inability of a person to restrain the assigned obligations in relation to children, family, colleagues. The behavior of such a person is reduced to letting go of the situation, in the hope that the problems will be resolved without his participation. It turns out that the stupidity of a person leads to evasion from direct duties and turns into unpleasant consequences. At the same time, such a person requires other people to fulfill their obligations.

The destructive power of disregard extends to areas of life. A person does not participate in important processes, does not make fateful decisions. As a result, the quality of life of a person and those around them deteriorates. Stupid behavior hides people who want to escape from the harsh reality, and are incapable of their own laziness.

Reason for irresponsibility

Such qualities characterize a person's personality and determine his temper. Not giving a damn is not a pattern of behavior to be imitated and copied. It is formed as a result of the wrong parenting. This is the main reason for irresponsibility. Psychologists note that a devil-may-care attitude appears in children where the mother played the main violin. At the same time, she used the following behavior models:

1. Mother hen. Does not allow the child to take a step on his own. She knows who to be friends with, where to go to study, whom to choose as a life partner. Stupidity grows like a snowball. As a result, the boy becomes a weak-willed person or. The girl remains an old maid or is unhappy in marriage, because she is unable to make an informed choice.
2. Mom is an investigator or dictator. Raises a child in excessive severity. The slightest offense is followed by punishment. As a result, the child chooses not to do anything to avoid being punished with a belt or standing in a corner. Mom controls the child, requires the completion of the assigned tasks. Children humble themselves and get used to living and acting according to parental orders.
3. Mom is a connivance. Does not pay attention to the upbringing of the child, without explaining and analyzing the actions. This attitude is passed on from generation to generation. The child, seeing the stupidity of the parents, copies and transfers the devil-may-care behavior into life.

But you shouldn't blame all the troubles on your parents. A person is exposed to external circumstances and internal experiences. Based on the results, he concludes that it is better to remain in the shadows than to make difficult decisions. Reasons for not giving a damn include:

1. Lack of awareness. A person does not see the connection between actions and consequences. Taking actions or not straining, he does not see his own fault in what happened. Such people are inattentive and careless.
2. Feeling of fear. It occurs in people who have burned themselves by taking on voluminous obligations. For example, a business leader who went bankrupt. The result was frustration and a clear belief that it was better to be a carefree person.
3. A loss . Difficult circumstances, the loss of a loved one, health problems lead to apathy. A person is disappointed, gets tired of fighting for life, loses interest in others. Decides to go with the flow and doesn't care about anything. These feelings arise from alcohol or drug abuse.

The reasons for stupidity do not make such behavior correct and justified. Anyone can hide his head in the sand, but not everyone can fight for happiness. Disregard and inaction leads to personality degradation, disorder in life.

The problem of irresponsibility

People who are not responsible for actions are not devoid of mental faculties. They fantasize with ideas, they have fun with them. But, the fun ends as soon as you face serious problems. A stupid person will shift the decision to another person, and then he will also accuse him of wrong actions.

The problem of irresponsibility is that a person with a disregard for life, degrades, does not strive for financial well-being. At the same time, in the current circumstances, he blames the state, relatives, fate, but is not ready to take responsibility for life. Stupidity leads to the following consequences:

1. Loneliness and. An irresponsible person hopes for fate, waits to be lucky in love. The meeting of the second half involves actions, courtship, decisions, communication, acquaintances.
2. Poor education. The state becomes the culprit of low-quality education. At the same time, a stupid person is picky in universities. Studying is seen exclusively in elite and expensive educational institutions.
3. Low income. A careless person who complains about a non-prestigious job. Attempts to change the profession are not made, since the actions rest on education, which does not exist.

Housing conditions are connected to the listed problems. If the parental apartment is not received, then it is difficult. A stupid person wanders around the corners, continuing to blame other people for an uncomfortable life.

Irresponsibility of men

The modern generation lives for itself, not looking back at other people and not participating in their lives and problems. The irresponsible attitude is transferred not only to strangers, but also to loved ones. As a result, callous and soulless personalities are formed, following exclusively their own whims and desires.

If we consider the disregard for life on the basis of gender, then the irresponsibility of men is more common. Women consciously approach work and family. and the selfishness of men. As a result, the woman is left alone, continuing to be responsible for the child. Today, in every third family, a child grows up without a father, who at the same time does not help financially and does not participate in the life of a son or daughter.

The situation is developing due to the irresponsible attitude of men. Such people postpone things for later or do not begin to perform tasks at all. But, the child cannot stop in development and wait until the dad grows up, begins to be interested in his life, to bear financial responsibility.

The first step is to determine where the irresponsibility came from in your life. What influenced its formation? Parenting, health problems. Further, realize. This is the acceptance of the assigned obligations, the analysis of the actions performed. Next, form a new quality in yourself.

How to deal with irresponsibility?

The decision to fight irresponsibility is the first step towards growing up. To achieve the result, purchase educational literature. Check out books on psychology, read books on motivation, take an interest in literature on social maturation. The result will not keep you waiting long. Through time,. Note that the people around you are respectful, listen to advice.

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My name is Asia, I will probably go crazy while I reach out to my chosen one. We have been married for 6 years, and we already have two children, he flew out ... This is by the way. I am 31 years old, and he is 34, when we "were friends" with him I had no idea that it would be so hard for me with him. You see, in general, I am an independent person and never welcomed someone to ask for something, and even more so to do something for me. NEVER!!! I now demand the same from him.
Well, actually, I didn’t start from the very beginning. My husband never worked, for anyone: (and now it is very difficult for him to find a job, no longer so young ... He is also used to easy money, why I didn’t notice it before, because my income was fine with me ... and I didn’t even notice that the word stability and my husband didn’t intersect in any way ... now, when we already have two, it is very noticeable that there is no breadwinner in the house ... for bread ... and I had to go to work. Now I work and, in principle, I can bear all the costs on myself, but isn't this his responsibility, he can hang his legs like that. Or maybe already. I've been working for a month, I had to take nanny, and in the second month he already asks me what you can't like to pay ... you know we still don't have a roof over our heads ... all the time he says that somewhere in the city for work, but I don't see the result . we have a com service for 4 months already, the phone has not been paid for. he says I’ll pay, for example now he lied that he paid the nanny a salary just so I don't yell at him. AND AS ANOTHER ... It has already come to the point that I threaten him if you do not close the debts we will not have sex., To put it mildly ... and practically no longer for the third month already. FUCK !!! and still alive :) and it's funny, too, to work in a taxi, I almost led him by the hands, got a job. and that it was enough for 2 months, it did not suit the fact that there are always only little things in your pocket, such as a large grain. this is all about the financial side, he is absolutely irresponsible in all documents ... oh, you know, I'm tired ... and I even divorced him, and for the same reason when the first child was 2 years old. But I could not see how she missed her dad and returned on her own, and even that fixed him, he would not understand if he just got a job and would consistently bring some amount, then there would be peace and tranquility at home, He didn’t want anything, but at least I’ll die let's go with the kids. so irresponsible, not striving absolutely to live at least a little better. Not only is there no use for him on the street, he also does everything at home from under the stick or after my tantrums.
tell me what to do, I also can't take it upon myself and I don't want to, how can I act cunningly with him, because conversations no longer help ...

Psychologists' Answers

Asia, hello!

You still have the hope that you are able to

change your spouse. Unfortunately this is not possible.

He is formed and he is so comfortable.

You had the experience of parting and you hoped that he would rethink everything and you will start living differently ...

You write that it never worked. Accordingly, this is the norm for him.

Take your time to make a decision. Seek personal advice, you need to figure out why this relationship is valuable to you and whether there is anything to fight for.

I am ready to be useful to you.

Sincerely,

Snegireva Inna Vladimirovna, psychologist Astana

Good answer 3 Bad answer 0

Hello Asia! If you cannot change your husband, change your attitude towards him. Perhaps the fact that you still believe that he "change" and prevents you from taking a sober view of the situation. Think about it and do it. Good luck to you!

Gabbasova Anargul Abishevna, psychologist Astana

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Redo your husband? Interesting....

I think it's possible - to help to him to learn responsibility.

There are such ways.

I am afraid that then he will not be next to you ...

Maybe first it is worth figuring out why YOU live this way ...?

Please contact.

Idrisov Galikhan Abdeshevich, psychologist of Almaty

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Hello Asia, from your letter it is clear that you are a very strong personality, with leadership qualities. Usually women with this character cannot attract a stronger man than themselves. More often than not, the exact opposite is attracted, men with a weaker character, for example, like your husband. You are used to being in the lead; rather, your mother has the same strong character. You should understand that your husband is a completely different person and does not possess your strong traits of character. Trying to develop these qualities in him is unlikely to succeed. Either you accept him for who he is, or you can divorce him and live alone. There is no other option, no matter how you shout and try to change it. In order for him to become stronger against your background, you need to at least try to become weaker yourself, but you can hardly do this, because you are such by birth and it is unlikely that you will be able to play the role of a weak woman for a long time. In some families, the husband has a strong character and is the head, despite the fact that the wife is usually a very calm and not demanding person. People kind of complement each other with their different temperaments and their own qualities. In your

Hello members and community members.

That's what I want to tell you, I even set up a LiveJournal account for this, but I just can't keep silent any longer.

It is customary among women today to blame a lot for male irresponsibility. Say, modern men only need sex from women, and they are not ready and do not want to start a family. That is how they are infantile windbags. All this seems to me very strange and unfair.

Tell us about yourself. I myself am a very responsible person, and this trait was formed in my adolescence. In those years, I had to feel on my own skin what the flagrant financial insecurity and fatherly binges mean. It was then that I decided that I would start a family not earlier than I was able to create sufficient material support for myself, and with a margin. So that neither my children nor my wife need anything and they do not have to endure the humiliating poverty that I happened to know in their lives. Well, it will not work, then well - it is better to live in poverty alone than to plunge people close to you into it. Maybe it was youthful maximalism, but then I defined everything for myself that way. Then I was charged with a frantic motivation to get out of that asshole in which my fate wanted to put me.

This motivation never let go. I did not spare myself in my studies. After he tore his veins at work, just to gain the trust of his superiors and grow a career. I was looking for acquaintances with useful people and opportunities to participate in other people's promising projects. Somewhere I was lucky - not without it, somewhere good people helped, but most importantly - I myself did not lose sight of my goal for a day.

What am I like today? I'm 32 years. I have two working businesses, and I am raising one more now. In two more good (by my standards, in any case) I have a share. A year ago I bought a home. Not in the center of Moscow, of course, but not bad - a spacious apartment in a new building near Shchukinskaya. I bought it for my own, not on credit. I do not smoke or drink (I have been disgusted with drunkenness since childhood - my father inspired me with his example). I also follow my physical form, so that the mammon does not sag. I can do 40 pull-ups on the bar, 200 do push-ups, and 25 in a handstand. And now I really want to start a family.

I hope that with my short story I was able to show that I certainly am not irresponsible. My new goal is to start a family. I really want to take on this responsibility. But the trouble is - there is no one to take it for. NOT FOR WHOM.

Do not think what, I do not feel a lack of female attention. There are always enough applicants for a man of my position and my condition, a non-drinker and non-smoker. It is unlikely that I will tell you a secret if I say that many of them would like to stir up something serious with me. We would like me to take responsibility for them, which I mentioned above. And I can do it, but they themselves are not suitable for this. But they have an idea to get me. And I am not against their inclinations. But such a relationship has no prospects, and I myself know about it in advance. But still I am a living person and I need to fuck. So in the end everything is limited to fucking. And the women themselves eventually deduce that I am such an irresponsible bastard who only needs fucking. Who, at his age, still does not want to grow up and think about a serious relationship, although it's time. They told me that themselves. Great. It turns out I am irresponsible. In fact, they themselves are not suitable for a serious relationship, much less for starting a family. Suitable only for fucking. Who is their fault that they only get fucked? And their irresponsible men are to blame!

This is wonderful, gentlemen.

If we are talking about men taking responsibility, then maybe we should also start talking about who for whom this responsibility is to be taken? In my view, the responsibility should be mutual.

And what, are our virgins ready for any responsibility? Hell no! They have an approach to life focused on consumption, not creation and giving. How they reason: youth is one, and you need to use the opportunities that it gives in order to get maximum joy and then not regret it. Joy in their mind is pleasure and exciting entertainment. And in the end, we have a pad, alcoholized at corporate parties, in which it is still not known how many dicks have been, but, as a rule, not less than a dozen. Of course, there is no question of devoting her youth to the establishment of a family - why, she didn't walk up, didn't enjoy the full potential of her youth. And they also talk about some kind of male irresponsibility.

And in life together, how does such a woman behave? Unyielding. She is (don’t believe it!) A free person and no one has the right to restrict her freedom. This means that everything should be according to her - her mother taught her this as a child, and then her girlfriends and glossy magazines, or I don't know where they get these behavioral patterns. You are a man, and I am a weak woman and can be capricious. These are their ideas that a man owes everything, and she will only be a capricious consumer. Well, what else can you do with such a fool, except to fuck and send on to drift along the waves of life? Yeah, and you immediately find yourself an irresponsible dog.

A woman needs to start a family and give birth early, I think. While the body is full of health. And take care of the family. This would be a contribution to the family, a responsibility on the part of a woman. But no. Baba first wants to make a career. Wants to go to work. This is explained by the fact that suddenly an irresponsible man will leave and how then will I be alone with the child? It seems to even look reasonable, but in practice it has no safety function. A woman needs her own work in order to have an independent position, which helps her to uncompromisingly swing rights, because she always allows her to stand in an uncompromising position, deliberately offended and armed with an ultimatum: it will not be in my opinion, well, the dick is with you, you don't hurt me and you need me, I can do without you - thank God, independent, I work and earn money myself!

All sorts of fools will try to hurt me, they say, a real man is always able to reason with a presumptuous woman, and if he cannot do this, then he is crappy, which means he is a man. Only now, being able and willing are quite different things. Even if I can do something, it does not mean that I like it, that I desire it. And it certainly doesn't mean that I have to do it. The truth is that I would like to have an ally by my side in the common cause of building a family, and not drive an obstinate bitch to the coast every day. And I end up being irresponsible. The beauty.

Most of all about male irresponsibility, according to my observations, like to talk about madam, staying in the epsilon-neighborhood of thirty, as well as crossed over the border. Now, really, by God, whose cow would bellow ... Irresponsibly squandered the best years into funny romances and partying drunks or, there, on a career - it's not so important, but now they demand responsibility from men towards themselves. These damned males, they say, only do not have to fuck and agree, and not start families with us, but we have the last term to give birth! But is such a character suitable for establishing a family? The question is rhetorical, obviously. Because she, with her wasted health, cannot even give birth without nails. Everything, her matrimonial value has already been at zero and for a long time. Although still good for sex. So tell me: are these men - irresponsible dogs, or are these women - pompous fools? Why should men take responsibility for these irresponsible, obstinate women? Personally, I don't feel like a haven for out-of-print wallets.

What is the moral of all this? Women, maybe, than to brand men with irresponsibility, you look at yourself - what if it's not all perfect in yourself? If you want responsibility from men, maybe you should become more responsible yourself? At least not to drink, for a start. And no smoking. You are future mothers. If you want responsibility from men, maybe you will start to respect them at least a little, and not consider them males? Since you want responsibility from your men, maybe you will begin to trust them, and not insure yourself with your own work, through which, on occasion, strive to demonstrate the independence of your free personality? I understand that this naive advice will be lost in vain. Isn't it better, godfather, to turn to yourself ?! But Mishenka’s advice was wasted.

Believe me, many men are capable of responsibility and would even like to take it. Here are just zapadlo to take responsibility for stupid fucking bitches.

Good day.

The best example is your own.

You cannot change a man and his feelings (attitude towards you), but you can change yourself and your life. You can make yourself happy, and accordingly make everyone around you happy.

If you make yourself better, develop comprehensively, make yourself happy with your own hands, realizing some of your ideas, projects, desires, goals, dreams. If you enjoy life, its moments, and will be grateful to fate for everything that is in your life, for all the experiences, lessons, and experiences. Then perhaps the man will want to change with you.

Remember; Only action generates the result.

“The only person with whom you have to compare yourself is you in the past. And the only person you should be better than is who you are now. " Sigmund Freud

“Falling is part of life, getting up is living it. Being alive is a gift, and being happy is your choice. "

Bring variety, creativity, hobbies, hobbies, sports, yoga, dance, music, running, meditation, healthy lifestyle into your life. Anything, everything that you have a heart for, everything that you would do with pleasure with love, everything that pleases your soul.

And then the quality of your life will change, and you will be happy no matter what and who thinks about you. You will be happy no matter what, and no one.

“Become solitary first. Start enjoying yourself first. First, become so truly happy that it won't matter if no one comes to you; you are full, overflowing. If no one knocks on your door, then everything is still in order - you are not missing anything. You don't expect someone to come and knock on your door. You are at home. If someone comes to you, good, great. If no one comes, it is also good and wonderful. "

If this understanding becomes a quality of your life, then you can enter into new relationships. Then you can share, give, without demanding anything in return. Now you can do it as an integral harmonious person, at ease, but not as a slave. Like an emperor, but not like a beggar. "

“Until love is born in yourself, it cannot warm anyone. First, become a light for yourself, then your light will begin to shine on others. "

If you stay in harmony with yourself, everything that surrounds you will stay in harmony.

With regards to the irresponsibility of men. Think for a moment. All this time you have been trying to fit him into the frame, to make him get up on time and on time to go out. And so in a circle. Maybe it’s worth stopping? Stop being responsible for others? Perhaps you will start to arrange your life and allow others to build their lives? Is it possible that because of you the man has no responsibility, since you shift everything onto yourself and your shoulders? Perhaps the man doesn't like or hate what he is doing?

All that is easy is correct.

You swim against the current, it is Higher than you, stronger than you. You have loaded an unbearable burden on yourself.

P.S. Please remember to appreciate the time, work, and effort of psychologists. Leave a rating - "best answer". To the answer you like. Appreciated in advance.

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