- verbal and physical activity aimed at causing harm to their own health, people, animals, external objects. Based on negative emotions, desire to harm. It is manifested by disobedience, irritability, cruelty, insults, squeezing, threats, failure to communicate, acts of violence (bite, blows). Diagnosed by a psychiatrist, psychologist. The study is carried out by the method of conversation, observation, profiles, questionnaires, projective tests are used. Treatment includes group, individual psychotherapy - teaching ways to control emotions, safe expression of anger.

General

Aggressive behavior is detected in children of all ages. Primary serves as a way of expressing negative emotions - irritation, anger, anger. Observing the result of such behavior, the child assesses its utility. It recently demonstrates aggression with a definite goal - to get toys, food, attract the attention of parents, to prove power, significance, subordinate to others. The more often the desired one is achieved, the stronger the aggressiveness in behavior, becoming the quality of character. The prevalence of this phenomenon is difficult to determine if each child exhibits aggression during life. For boys, she arises earlier, wearing open character. Girls manifest indirectly.

Causes of aggressive behavior of children

Causes of aggression are diverse - accumulated emotional tension, the inability to express in words the insult, lack of attention of adults, the desire to get someone else's toy, show the power of peers. Often, children cause harm to others or yourself, because they feel helplessness, sadness, insult, but can not understand in their own condition, do not own communicative skills to resolve the problem. The following groups of causes of aggressiveness are distinguished:

• Family relationships. The formation of aggression contributes to the demonstration of cruelty, violence, disrespect, frequent conflicts in the family, indifference of parents. The child copies the behavior of the mother, the father - argues, provokes fights, openly manifests anger, disobedience in order to attract attention.
• Personal features. The instability of the emotional state is manifested by embitrability, irritation. Fear, fatigue, bad well-being is expressed through aggression, compensated for the feeling of guilt, understated self-esteem.
• Features of the nervous system. Children with an unbalanced weak TSN type are prone to aggression. They are worse than the load, less resistant to the effects of physical and psychological discomfort.
• Socio-biological factors. The severity of aggressiveness is determined by the sex of the child, role-playing expectations, social status. Boys often inspire the idea that a man should be able to fight, "give delivery."
• Situational factors. The emotional lability of children's age is manifested by outbreaks of irritation, angry with the accidental impact of external adverse events. Wrong school assessment may provoke a bad school assessment, the need to perform homework, physical discomfort caused by hunger, tedious trip.

Pathogenesis

The physiological basis of the aggressiveness of children is the imbalance of the processes of excitation-braking of the CNS, the functional immaturity of individual structures of the brain responsible for controlling emotions, behavior. When exposed to an irritant, excitation prevails, "delays" the braking process. Psychological base of children's aggressiveness is a low ability to self-regulation, lack of developed communication skills, adult dependence, unstable self-esteem. Children's aggression is a way to remove the voltage in emotional, mental loads, poor well-being. Purposeful aggressive behavior is focused on obtaining the desired, protection of their own interests.

Classification

A variety of classifications of aggressive behavior has been developed. In the direction of actions, heteroagression differences - causing damage to others, and autoagression - damage to oneself. On the etiological basis, reactive aggression arising as a reaction to external factors, and spontaneous, motivable internal pulses. The classification in the form of manifestation is practical:

• Expressive aggression. Demonstration methods - intonation, facial expressions, gestures, poses. Diagnostically complex option. Aggressive acts are not recognized or denied by a child.
• Verbal aggression. It is implemented through words - insults, threats, swearing. The most common option among girls-schoolgirls.
• Physical aggression. Damage is applied using physical force. This form is distributed among young children, schoolchildren (boys).

Symptoms of aggressive behavior of children

Basic manifestations of aggression are observed in babies up to the year. In the kids of 1-3 years, conflicts arise due to assigning toys, other personal belongings. Children bite, pushed, fight, rushing with objects, spits, shout. Attempts by parents to stop the reaction of the child with punishments exacerbate the situation. At preschoolers, the physical expression of aggression is less common, since it is actively developing, it is mastered by its communicative function. The need for communication is growing, but the productive interaction prevents egocentricity, the inability to accept someone else's point of view, objectively assess the situation of interaction. There are misunderstandings, insults that generate verbal aggression - Rugan, insults, threats.

Younger schoolchildren have a basic level of self-control, capable of suppressing aggression as a way of expressing resentment, displeasure, fear. At the same time, they actively use it to protect interests, defending the point of view. Gender features of aggressiveness begin to determine. The boys act openly, apply physical strength - fighting, put the steps, "click" on the forehead. Girls choose indirect and verbal ways - ridicule, assigning nickname, gossip, ignoring, silence. Representatives of both sexes are determined by signs of underestimated self-assessment, depression.

In adolescence, aggressiveness arises as a result of hormonal restructuring and an accomposition of this period of emotional lability, complications of social contacts. There is a need to prove its significance, strength, relevance. Aggression is either suppressed, replaced by productive activities, or takes extreme forms - young men and girls are fighting, applied to the rivals of injury, they perform suicide attempts.

Complications

Frequent aggressiveness, supported by the upbringing, dysfunctional family atmosphere is fixed in the qualities of the child's personality. Character features based on anger, embitrability, resentment are formed to adolescence. Accentuations are developed, psychopathy - personal disorders with the predominance of aggression. The risk of social disadaptation, deviant behavior, offenses increases. In autoagression, children are harmful to self-suicide attempts.

Diagnostics

The diagnosis of aggressive behavior of children is relevant at an excessive frequency, expression of manifestations. The decision to appeal to a psychiatrist, a psychologist formed by his parents independently or after the recommendation of teachers. The basis of the diagnostic process is a clinical conversation. The doctor listens to the complaints, finds out the history, additionally studies the characteristics from kindergarten, schools. An objective study includes the use of special psychodiagnostic methods:

• Questionnaires, observation. Parents, teachers are invited to respond to a number of questions / approvals about the peculiarities of the child's behavior. Observation is carried out according to a scheme including a number of criteria. The results allow you to establish the form of aggression, its severity, reasons.
• Personal questionnaires. Used to examine adolescents. Reveal the presence of aggressiveness in the general structure of the personality, ways to compensate. Common methods - the questionnaire of Leongard-Schmishek, PatoCharacterological diagnostic questionnaire (person).
• Picturesque tests. According to the characteristics of the drawings, the severity of symptoms, the reasons for unconscious emotions are determined. Tests are used non-existent animal, cactus, man.
• Interpretation tests. Refer to projective methods, identify unconscious, hidden child experiences. The survey is carried out using the Rosenzweig Frustration Reactions Test, Hand test (hand test).

Treatment of aggressive behavior of children

With pronounced aggression requires correction of psychotherapy methods. The use of medicines is justified when anger, impulsiveness, gravitance are symptoms of mental disorder (psychopathy, acute psychosis). It is impossible to cure aggressiveness forever, it will arise in a child in certain life situations. The task of psychologists, psychotherapists - to help solve personal problems, teach adequate ways to express feelings, resolving conflict situations. Common correction methods include:

• . Represented by express methods of safe expression of aggression. The child is invited to spill anger, irritation, anger without harm to others. Games with ball, bulk materials, water, "wrath" leaves "are used.
• Training Communication. Group work allows the child to develop effective communication strategies, ways to express emotions, upholding its position without prejudice to others. Children receive feedback (response of participants), analyze successes, errors with a psychotherapist.
• Relaxation classes. Aims to reduce anxiety, emotional tensions - factors that increase the risk of outbreaks of aggressiveness. Children teach to restore deep breathing, achieve muscle relaxation, switch attention.

Prediction and prevention

The aggressive behavior of children is successfully adjusted with the joint efforts of parents, teachers, psychologists. The forecast in most cases is favorable. To prevent the fixing of aggression as a preferred method of interaction, it is necessary to adhere to the harmonious style of education, to demonstrate ways to settle conflicts in peaceful way, refer to the child with respect, allow the manifestations of anger in a safe form. Do not focus on minor aggressive actions. Discussing the manifestations of aggressiveness, it is important to talk about actions, but not about personal qualities ("you did brutally", and not "Cruel").

Dustov E. A. ,
Senior Lecturer of the Department of Private Methods
IPK and PC BGPU named after Maxim Tank

Aggression (in the most general definition) is damage behavior. Aggression in the form is divided into physical(beating, injury) and verbal (verbal: insult, slander, refusal to communicate). Aggression is always accompanied by negative emotions and the intention to cause evil. According to some theories, aggression is an integral part of human nature.

The psychologist K. Lorenz believed that aggression originates from the congenital instinct of the struggle for survival, which is present in all people, as well as animals. Aggressive energy accumulate over time. And the more it in the body, the less significant you need a push so that it splashes out. Lorenz believed that if a person participates in actions not related to damage, this weakens aggression or prevents the accumulation of aggressive energy to a dangerous level.

Aggressive behavior in childhood - quite ordinary phenomenon. The aggression of the child can be directed:

on the surrounding people outside the family (on the teacher, classmates);
on loved ones;
on animals;
on yourself (pulling out hair, nail biting, rejection of food);
on external objects (the destruction of objects, damage to the property);

on symbolic and fantasy objects (drawings, collecting weapons, computer games of aggressive content).

Motifs of aggressive behavior in children

Aggressive behavior most often unconsciously. His motives may not be aware of the child. Aggression is caused by words and actions (insult, provocation, accusation, mock, mockery), which humiliate human dignity. In such cases, aggressive behavior acts as a child manifestation psychological protection.

"Psychological protection" is a special system of identity stabilization, aimed at eliminating or minimizing a sense of anxiety associated with the conflict awareness. The main task of psychological protection - elimination of psychological discomfort, not a real permission of a conflict situation. Therefore, some psychologists believe that psychological protection is not normal, but an unusual setting of the situation that a person is not pleasant. On the action of psychological protection can be said when a person, instead of identifying the causes of the problem situation, begins to look for "guilty" and thinks out of the methods of revenge (becomes aggressive).

The nature of aggressive behavior is largely determined age features. The transition from age to age is accompanied by natural peaks of aggressiveness (age crises). Age crises Associated with the emergence of new needs that are not satisfied for various reasons. If adults are experiencing age crises every 7-10 years, then the child is observed much more often.
Forms of manifestation of aggression in children of different ages

Studies show that infants often show angerIf their needs are not accustomed enough. Small children tend to show cruelty towards a newborn brother or sister, wanting to keep maternal love.

Adaptation to regime in kindergarten accompanied by fights, scratch, spit - that is open manifestation of aggression. But happens I. passive manifestation of the child of aggression - Stubbornness, rejection of food and games, nail biting.

The level of aggressiveness of children is reduced in preschool age. The peak of their disadvantage falls for 2 years, and aggressiveness - for 3 years. If the child has fastened aggressive habits, then after 13 years correct them very difficult.
The behavior of the child depends substantially from the emotional climate in the family And, above all, from how his relationship with his mother. 68% of the one-year-old children tied to the mother later manifests more friendliness, they better learn, less conflict with adults, more confident in themselves. If the mother refers to the upbringing of the child is negligent, then the children suffer, they have frequent outbreaks of anger, and subsequently formed persistent aggressive behavior (many criminals were not tied to the mother at an early age).

Aggressive children usually grow in families where they are little interested, prefer physical punishment by patient explanation. But the punishment is effective only when it is adequately a deed, consistently accompanied by a benevolent, patient explanation of the rules of behavior. IN as punishmentcan be used deprivation of promotions, temporary insulation OT personnel, not physical punishment and demonstration of a hostile relationship.

Generally, children's aggression is the opposite side of defenselessness. Insecurity generates fear. Trying to cope with your fears, the child resorts to protective-aggressive behavior.
W. children of preschool age aggression is usually manifested In the form of damage toys, thoring of objects, coarse animal treatment, crying, screaming, disadvantage and stubbornness.

W. junior schoolchildren Most often, aggression is manifested in verbal form (ridicule, curses) in relation to weaker, for example, to classmates. Not rare and fights. The negative reaction of the teacher can only strengthen such behavior, but still his authority encourages the child to restrain himself.

Aggressive behavior teenage often means "to be adult and strong." The dependence of adolescents from the opinion of peers is their feature. At this age, there is the largest percentage of children with deviating behavior. Most high level of aggressiveness In adolescents who are in the class are leadersor Oligated. Adults - a sharp crisis of growing up. This crisis will be faster and easier if adults are ready to form equal, affiliate relationships with adolescents, and show willing to cooperate.

Thus, the age dynamics of aggression corresponds to age crisis in 3-4 years, 6-7 years old and 14-15 years old.

In the process of the socialization of the teenager, aggressive behavior performs a number of important functions: It frees from fear, helps to defend its interests, protects against the external threat, contributes to adapting adults.

How to behave with an aggressive child

To prevent aggressive behavior children There is a wide range of possibilities. Specialists (psychologists, educators) have developed special recommendations for adults on the work on the aggressive behavior of children. These regulations Allow in a conflict situation with children and adolescents to ensure its positive resolution of the conflict and establish partnerships.

Rule 1. Ignore minor aggression.

When the aggression of children is not dangerous and explained, adult is advisable to respond to the behavior of the child as follows:

Just "do not notice" the reaction of the child (teenager);

Express the understanding of the feelings of the child: "I understand that you are insulting";
Switch the attention of the child to something, for example, invite any task (play);
Positively designate his behavior: "You are angry because I'm tired."

Comments. Since it was established that aggression accumulates from all people, then adult, seeing and understanding the situation, can just carefully listen to the child (adolescent) and try to switch it to something else. Adult attention is a need for baby and teenager. Often it is the lack of such attention and leads to aggressive behavior. Remember that ignoring aggression is a powerful way to change unwanted behavior.

Rule 2. Accent attention on actions (behavior), and not on the identity of the child.

At the time of aggression, describe the behavior of the child with the following verbal options:

"You are being aggressive" (a statement of fact);
"You're angry?" (stateing question);
"Do you want to offend me?", "Do you demonstrate me strength?" (disclosure of the motifs of the aggressor);

"I don't like when they talk to me in such a tone", "I strain when someone screams loudly" (disclosure of his own feelings towards unwanted behavior);

"You violate the rules of behavior" (appeal to the rules). Comments. Saying one of the statements, adults need to be exercised calm, goodwill and hardness. The focus is only on the act so that the child (teenager) does not hear in a tone of the voice that you are against him. In no case do not remember similar behavior in the past. After the child calms down, it is necessary to discuss his behavior with him in detail and explain why his act is unacceptable. Make the emphasis on the fact that aggression harms him anymore than others.Think together (without witnesses) what behavior in this case would be more acceptable.

Rule 3. Control your own negative emotions.
Demonstrating their aggression, the child shows negative emotions: irritation, anger, indignation, fear, helplessness. When communicating with an aggressively tuned child, similar emotions may occur in an adult. But an adult must be able to hold back. Control yourself by demonstrating a positive example in circulation with counter aggression, and keep partnerships necessary for further cooperation.

Try:

Do not raise the voice, do not shout, do not firm;
Do not demonstrate your power: "It will be as I say";
Do not take aggressive poses and gestures (compressed jaws, fingers in fists);
Do not laugh at the child, do not oppose it;
Do not evaluate the identity of the child or his friends;
Do not use physical strength, do not threaten;
Do not read notations, sermons;
Do not justify, do not try to defend yourself or pour a child.

Comments. Often, aggressive behavior of children is associated with desire to cause an anger of an adultThereby showing its weakness. If adults come across this "rod" - they lose their credibility in the eyes of children and the ability to establish partnerships. An adult should show efforts to reduce tension and aggression.

Rule 4. Keep the positive reputation of the child.
A child, like some adults, very it is difficult to recognize your wrong. Public discussion may hurt him and, as a rule, will only lead to the strengthening of aggressive behavior in the future. To save the child a positive reputation, use the following behaviors with it:

"You may not know yourself", "you did not want to offend him" (I publicly minimize the guilt of the child);
Let me fulfill your requirement partially, in your own way;
Offer a child with mutual concessions.

Comments. Insisting on complete submission, you can provoke a new burst of aggression. If you allow submit" in their own way" The incident will be exhausted rather.

Rule 5. Demonstrate non-aggressive behavior.
As a result of the conflict, both parties lose control. You must remember that the smaller the child's age, the more benevolent should be your behavior in response to aggression. Adult behavior should be opposite Bad behavior of a child (teenager). Therefore, it is possible to use the following techniques here:

Hold the pause (listen silently);
Time-Out (give the child the opportunity to calm down alone);
inspire calm gestures, faithful;
Judge ("You look now for Schwarzene gear").

Comments. Children are pretty fast adopt a non-aggressive model of behavior. But the main condition is the sincerity of the adult and the correspondence of the tone of his voice, gestures, facial expressions, the pantomimics of the thought expressed by him.
So, at the initial stage of aggressive behavior (at the first minor signs) it is best to use the following methods of combating aggression:

Ignore;
Switching attention;
"Elegant care".

Elegant care -this is a diplomatic manneur that allows all participants to quietly come out of the conflict situation. Any original or non-standard adult reaction to the aggressive behavior of a child helps to settle the problem situation better than threats and physical measures.
Switchthe attention of the child can be on the game. The game- The best way of fun and entertaining pastime, and is also the best way to remove emotional tension, anxiety, fear. The change of aggression in the game comes self confidence, develops positive self-esteem, strengthened emotional sphere Baby.

Games and exercises for children and adolescents prone to aggressive behavior

These games free the child from the accumulated negative energy. Of course, every other game, for example, mobile, also relieves aggression, but often the parents have no strength to run around the apartment with a child or go to the street. These games minimize the activity of an adult in the game with children, do not require a lot of space and special equipment. Suggest the child to play if you see that for him "everything is wrong and not so," when he is angry or misses, or when he himself asks you to play with him.

Playing, observe the following regulations:

1. Whether praise the child: "Good!", "Well done!", "Umnitsa!", "How you get great!", "Look, how we are interested!"

2. The atmosphere in the game of the game should be necessarily positive. Enjoy the game yourself! It will remove tension, irritation, fatigue.

3. Even the most unexpected and strange answers of the child - good! The game has no "right" or "wrong". Well what is original and non-standard.

THE GAME" YES AND NO"

Purpose:remove the state of apathy, fatigue, wake up vitality.

Equipment: Small bell. Stroke Game

The most remarkable thing is that the game is involved only. vote. You will with your child will have to lead imaginary battle with the words. Decide who starts and tells the word "yes", and the other will say the word "no". All your dispute will consist of two of these words. You need to start very quietly, in a low voice and further increase the volume until someone from you do not decide that there is no place louder. Then he will take the bell and call. The ringing of the bell is a signal to what you need to silence and feel it is pleasant to be in silence.

If you wanted to play more, you can continue, changing words.

THE GAME" Blots"

Purpose:remove the child from the child and the state of aggression.

Equipment: Clean sheets of paper, liquid paint (can be gouache).

Stroke Game

You offer a child to take a little paint a little paint of any color and splash "klyaksu" on the sheet. Fold the leaf twice so that the "bluster" is imprinted on the second half of the sheet. Expand the sheet and try to understand who or what is similar to the resulting double-sided "bliss".

Aggressive or depressed children choose dark colors and see in their "blots" aggressive plots (monsters, terrible spiders, etc.). Through the discussion of the "terrible drawing", the aggression of the child comes out, it is exempt from negative energy.

Parents must take for their "blots" necessarily bright colors and invent pleasant, calm associations (butterflies, fabulous flowers, trees, etc.)

THE GAME" REPEAT AFTER ME"

Purpose:remove in children fatigue, aggression. Equipment: the pencils. Stroke Game

You are tapping a pencil on the table with a rhythm of some song. Then ask the child to repeat this rhythm. If the rhythm is repeated correctly, you climb it with a child together. Then the child sets his rhythm, and you repeats it. You can task complicate, asking to determine what song is it.

THE GAME" Determine the toy"

Purpose:switch the attention of children from aggression to the game, develop thinking and speech.

Equipment: Toys. Stroke Game

Offer the child to bring 5-6 different toys, decompose them in front of you and come up with a riddle about some of them. You solve what toy. If you are guessing right, the child removes it. Etc. You can invent riddles in turn, changing places. It is very interesting. Children 6-7 years old love to invent riddles.

THE GAME" Wood cutting"

Purpose:give the opportunity to feel your aggressive energy and throw it through the movement.

Stroke Game

Offer to take a child in the hands of an imaginary ax. Show how the ax is cut by firewood. Ask a child to show what thickness a piece of the log it would be like to cut. Tell me that you need to put a log on a stump, raise the ax high above your head and lower it on a log, screaming loudly "Ha!". Then put a chump in front of the child and suggest to chop it 2-3 minutes. In the end, he must say how many chocks crossed.

You can chop firewood together, threesome, that is, the whole family. Then everyone should say how much firewood he disturb.

THE GAME" Tuh-Tibi-spirit"

Purpose:remove negative emotions in children. Stroke Game

You say: "I see you have a bad mood. I know one magical spell against a bad mood. You need to do this. Go around the room and angrily-precendito pronunciation:" Tuh-Tibi-spirit! "Then come to me and also angrily Pressedly say this spell, then to mom (dad). There is one ban: you can not laugh. Repeat the spell until it works. "

For example, the proverb "You go quiet - you will go further" the children interpret so: you have to go quietly, then you will come home faster.

Proverbs:
"Some seven times, one - a detachment"
"Master's business is afraid"
"All hands master"
"Potato squinted - Take the case"
"It's easily not caught and fish out of a pond"
"More business - less words"
"There is a grief - burn, there is a thing - work"
"Earnished bread sweets"
"Will not buy a gingerbread work"
"In order not to make a mistake, do not hurry" Purpose:reduce the tension, the level of anxiety in children (preschoolers, younger schoolchildren), throw out negative emotions. Equipment: Old newspapers. Stroke Game

Offer the child to tear paper into pieces of different sizes and throw them into the center of the room. You can also tear paper with him. When a bunch in the center of the room will be big, let the child play with her, throwing up pieces up, scattering them or jumping on them. Stroke Game

Offer to make up as many sentences as possible, including the following words, that is, in each sentence must be all three data words:

Lake, Bear, Pencil;
Street, book, apron;
ball, sky, flower;
Glasses, bag, bike.

Often, parents are noticed for a child aged 5-6 years, as it seems to be aggressive behavior. It can manifest itself in different ways, for example, in excessive overtime, the tendency to quarrel with adults and children, incontinence. The task of the parent of such a child is to understand the reason for its aggressiveness, there is no such behavior.

However, first of all, it is necessary to understand what is the concept of "aggression of children"? How does it differ from the usual anger, which every person is experiencing from time to time? How to recognize aggressive behavior in children? These and many other questions will answer Brainapps.

What is aggressiveness?

The word "aggression" has a Latin origin and literally denotes the "attack." The aggression of children is a frequent phenomenon, but adults are susceptible to such behavior. Its main problem is an acute contradiction with the norms established in society. Aggressive behavior causes psychological discomfort among others, often the cause of physical, moral and material damage. The aggressiveness of children is what can not be put up, because the behavior of small children can be controlled, but growing, an aggressive child turns into an aggressive adult and rushes a threat to others.

How to understand that your child is aggressive?

• He often behaves unrestrained, does not know how or does not want to control himself. In some cases, an aggressive child is trying to take control of his emotions, but nothing works.
• Loves to spoil things, enjoys when it breaks or destroys anything, for example, toys.
• Constantly comes into disputes with peers and adults, swears.
• Refuses to fulfill requests and instructions, knows the rules, but does not want to adhere to them.
• Makes acts called, intentionally trying to cause a negative reaction from the people around: irritation, anger.
• It does not know how to confess in mistakes and provinces, until the latter is justified or shifting the guilt on others.
• The child remembers the resentment for a long time, definitely seeks to revenge. There is excessive envy.

Please note that children, especially at the age of 5-6 years, the attacks of disobedience happen. Anger caused by a serious reason, like a resentment or unfair punishment - an absolutely normal reaction. It is worth alarming only if you regularly notice regularly in the behavior of children at least 4 signs of listed.

The reasons for which aggression arises in small children:

Aggression in young children can be caused by family problems.

Most of the causes of the abnormal behavior of a small child should be sought in his environment. The situation in which children grow and develop, is of great importance in the formation of a person. Children form their own behavior, relying on the behavior of loved ones, that is, parents and relatives.

A frequent reason for which children behave aggressively - intense atmosphere at home. It is not necessary to show aggression towards children, enough parents often quarrel among themselves. If the child sees aggression on the part of the parents, is present when crossing, hears cries, it cannot but affect its emotional state.

Pretty parts, children 5-6 years old form their own behavior model, looking at the parents. If mom or dad exhibits aggressive behavior outside the house, and, for example, in a store or clinic, it can cause children's aggression.

The aggression of children caused by the reasons of a socio-biological nature

As we have said, the aggression of children at the age of 5 years has appeared due to the environment in which it grows, so aggressive behavior may be caused by misunderstanding. What parents talk to each other when they think that the child does not hear or does not understand? What glances to life hold and how they are voiced? Suppose mom or dad express disregard or dislike towards people who earn a little.

In such families, small children are aggressive in relation to, for example, to peers who have shaped clothes or old, cheap toys. For the same reason, children of 5 years can show aggression, for example, in relation to the cleaner in kindergarten or on the street.

Aggressive behavior in children as a result of a lack of attention.

When a small child exhibits aggression, the cause of such behavior can be a banal attraction of attention. If parents do not spend enough time with the child relate to its achievements and successes indifferent, it often becomes a deeper resentment in children and, as a result, aggression.

The smaller the child pays attention, the greater the likelihood that it will begin to show signs of aggression. There is a rather clear connection between the disadvantage of attention and lack of education. Perhaps the child was simply not explained how to behave with adults and peers? The child 5-6 years old does not yet understand how to behave in society, if the parents do not help him, he chooses a behavior model intuitive and does it not always true.

It is very important that the upbringing of children aged 5 years has been consistent and united. Parents must adhere to the same lookout views. When mom and dad cannot come to an agreement on the upbringing and behavior of children, everyone pulls the blanket for themselves, then, as a result, children are confused. Ultimately, it turns out the lack of education and the manifestation of aggression in children.

Another common cause of aggressive behavior in the family in children is the presence of a pet among the parents. For example, Mom is constantly strict, forces me to follow the rules, help her around the house, often scolds. Dad, on the contrary, behaves with a child affectionately, gives gifts, makes a lot. Children at the age of 5-6 are already able to choose among the parents of the pet. If parents suddenly be quarreled, the child will most likely be aggression towards a less beloved parent, protecting the pet.

Children's aggression caused by personal causes

Sometimes an aggressive child shows signs of an unstable, unstable psycho-emotional state. The reasons can be quite a lot.

In some cases, the reason for such aggressive behavior is the presence of fears. The child torments the feeling of anxiety, suffer fears and nightmares. The aggressiveness of children in this case is just a protective reaction.

If the parents did not adopt a child sense of self-esteem, the child up to 6-7 years old can express dissatisfaction with himself and his own behavior of aggression. Such children are sharply perceived failure, they can not terms with them, they often do not like themselves. Such an aggressive child is experiencing negative emotions in relation to itself, and at the same time to the world around.

The cause of aggression in 5-6 years can be a banal sense of guilt. The kid of someone unfairly offended or hit, he was ashamed, but he cannot recognize his mistake for some reason. As a rule, this is excessive pride and inability to recognize their mistakes. By the way, the parents must teach this ability to teach the child. Often, the aggressiveness of such children is directed even towards children, in front of which they experience guilt.

Aggression of children caused by violations of physical health.

Not always the causes of aggression lies in the psychological state of the child, his surroundings. Often aggression and aggressiveness are associated with somatic diseases, for example, with violations in the work of the brain. They may be caused by heavy cranopy and brain injury, infections, intoxication.

Remember if aggressive behavior began to manifest itself after transferred to the cranial injury, for example, after concussion, the cause of aggression is in this injury.

Sometimes the reason for the aggressive behavior of children is 5-6 years old - heredity. Often the parents of the child is 5-6 years old, manifesting aggression, before conception, they abused alcohol, narcotic and psychotropic substances.

Can the reason for the aggressiveness of children be in the passion of video games?

Scientists have long been arguing about whether the cause of aggressive behavior can be a passion for cruel computer games. In fact, the game themselves rarely become the cause of aggression. Hobbating games with plenty of violence and cruelty is rather a consequence of aggressive behavior. Of course, such games affect the human brain, make it less compassionate, but this is not enough to turn into an aggressive, obedient child.

How to lead with a child of 5-7 years, which exhibits aggression?

If you have noticed in the behavior of a child under the age of 6-7 years, aggression, and then were able to identify the cause of such behavior, you need to learn how to behave correctly. Childish psychologists and educators have developed a whole list of recommendations, how to behave with an aggressive child. These rules will allow not only not to aggravate the behavior of children, but also adjust it.

1. Do not react to a slight aggression of children

If children show aggression, however, you understand that it is not harassable and caused by objective reasons, to behave most reasonably as follows:

• make the view that you do not notice aggression in behavior;
• show that you understand the children's feelings, say the phrase: "I understand that you are unpleasant and hurt";
• try to switch the child's attention to the object, far from the object of aggression, offer to do something else, play.

The aggression of children, and adults, can accumulate, so sometimes you just need to carefully listen to what the child wants to convey. In addition, do not forget that the child aged 5-6 years old is critical of the adult's attention, which means ignoring is a powerful and effective way to correct behavior.

2. Evaluate the behavior of the child, and not his personality

Keep calm, talk to a solid, friendly voice. It is important to you to show the child that you are not against him, but against its aggressive behavior. Do not focus that such behavior has already been repeated. Take advantage of the following phrases:

• "I don't like what you are talking to me" - you show your feelings;
• "Do you want to hurt me?" - You show what aggressive behavior is behavior;
• "You behave aggressively" - the statement of incorrect behavior;
• "You do not behave according to the rules" - a reminder that aggressive behavior leads to a violation of the rules.

After attacks of aggressive behavior, you need to talk to the children. Your task is to show that aggression harms most of the most child. Be sure to discuss behavior and aggression, try to imagine with the child how it would be better to go into a similar situation.

3. Keep your own negative emotions under control

Aggressive behavior in children is unpleasant. The aggression of children can manifest itself in shouts, tears, swearing, and it would seem, the natural reaction of an adult for a disrespectful attitude - response aggression. Just do not forget that you are an adult person who is able to control his own emotions.

If a child has been aggression in 5-7 years, try to keep calm and friendliness. Your goal is harmony in the family, a calm, obedient child, and this is not possible without establishing partnerships between children or parents. Therefore, do not raise your voice, do not shout, control your own gestures. Sewing jaws, compressed fists, gloomy look - signs of aggression, which should be avoided when communicating with children. In addition, avoid evaluation judgments about the identity of the child and his friends, do not try to read the notations, and of course, do not apply physical strength.

4. Take care of the child's reputation

Aggression in children often leads to the moment when children are difficult to recognize their own wrong. It may seem that the child in 5 years is small and still does not understand anything, but it is sufficient age in order to experience the desire to maintain a reputation. Even if the child is wrong, try not to condemn it publicly, do not show the surrounding a negative relationship. The censure in the public is little effectively and most likely will be the cause of even more aggressive actions.

Also learn to make concessions. When you learned the cause of aggressive behavior, offer the child a compromise option from the situation, during the upbringing of children 5-6 years old, is the optimal option. In this case, the child does not have the need to completely obey, he submits "in his own way", which will most likely help exhaust the conflict.

5. Choose such a model of behavior that you expect from children

You must always remember that when the children of 5 years show aggression, you must raise yourself and, whatever we feel, exercise a non-aggressive model of behavior. At the moments of manifestation of aggressive behavior, keep the pause, do not argue, do not interrupt. Remember that sometimes children at the moments of aggression need to spend some time alone to calm down. Let's a child this time. And most importantly - gestures, faithful, voice express calm.

We have already said that the children tend to adopt the behavior of parents. Friendlyness and not aggressiveness inherent in children from nature, so they quickly adopt a non-aggressive model of behavior from their parents.

If you adhere to the listed rules, sooner or later it will help to overcome aggressive behavior in children. However, you can speed up the process, to help the child 5-6 years to get rid of aggression. For example, the aggression of children in some cases is eliminated by exercise. Give the child to the sports section so that he splash out excess energy. If you notice for children of the root of aggressive behavior, ask them to tell about their feelings, offer to draw emotions or cut out of plasticine. This somewhat distract the child from anger and, perhaps, will reveal in it some talent.

Thus, summing up, we can say: the most important thing is the appearance of signs of aggression in children, to maintain peace of mind, to be an understanding, seeking compromises by the parent.

Young mothers, watching the manifestations of aggression from their babies, often do not know how to react to it. In most cases, everything ends with a long hysterium of the child after the "deserved" punishment. We have collected information that will help parents of Kids-Drachunov for 3-5 years to identify the causes of aggression and react to its manifestation in children.

Why do children fight: the causes of aggression in children 3-5 years

It is believed that aggressive behavior is a child's reaction to external stimuli. In most cases, it is difficult to disagree with it. In those moments, when a child only learns to interact with the surrounding world and people, aggression serves as a specific protective mechanism. Therefore, its manifestations are logical, but should go to "no" for a short period of time. If the attacks of uncontrolled rage are rapidly studied and is unreasonable long, then experts diagnose pathology in the social development of the child.

Causes of aggression in children 3-5 years old:

• A peculiar study of the world. Baby with the help of blows or pushers of peers recognizes the reaction of parents, just adults nearby "subjects themselves" on such behavior. It determines the boundaries of the permitted and call these manifestations of aggression is not worth it. Usually, the child itself does not change with such experiments, that is, it remains calm.
• Manifestation of aggression and anger. Often aggression in the child appears in the event that the desired carapus is not achievable. Find out the need arising from the child at the moment, and explain why it cannot be satisfied or, on the contrary, satisfy it, if possible. Offer a replacement, such an exchange can reassure the child and show that his opinion is important to parents. Children make easily agree on compromises offered by the authoritative adults for them. Do not attempt to answer the existing aggressiveness with your own irritation, as it will turn into clarification of "who is the mainstream", and the depressed emotion will serve the child a bad service in his continued life.
• At the age of 3-5, expressing his opinion, the child is very egocentric. That is, agree with the peers yet, maybe it needs clear guidelines from the elders. The planning of the situation and the vision of the prospects are not worked out, the line between the fantasy and the reality is erased. The child seeing on TV, as an adult protects its territory, believes that he should do the same. Aggression in this case is simply peeped skill. Next, we will tell you what methods of explanatory work will be effective in this case.
• Incorrect behavior of parents and adults who are near the child. It may negatively affect the child inadequate behavior of parents in everyday life, in front of the baby, dislikes, expressed by the parents of too obviously, insults arising from the fault of parents or circumstances, insults from the senior or threats.

A small child is fighting: what to do parents?

To help the child to overcome aggression to parents will have to learn to be patient and correctly talk to the chance, listen to it to the end and use the unacceptable ways to distract attention. Practical advice that are presented below are developed by specialists in working with aggressive children. All of them have been checking time and are recognized as most effective for solving such issues.

To prevent aggressive behavior in a child, 3-5 years experts advise:

1. Teach a child to express irritation By choosing an acceptable form for this (we work with manifestations of aggression).
2. Show the baby like recognize your own anger and control yourself.
3. In game form develop empathy and compassion to other people.

These general recommendations are implemented in many ways. Conversations and games, modeling similar situations using favorite toys or fabulous characters, sports games and switching attention - each of these methods is effective to combat aggression in the baby.

Examples of effective methods to eliminate aggression in children:

• When a child feels irritation, anger, offense, suggest him to draw or what he feels. But at the same time, be sure to tell what he does and feels. Most likely, the story will be about the real reasons for aggression in the child. Sharpen the attention of the baby on the feelings, to then help him identify them and control themselves. Distracting his attention, you will not argue the scandal and hysterics.
• Sewing the pad and announce that this is a "hill bag." Ask the baby to beat her as soon as it is annoyed, that is, put the bad bag. This will protect him from injury during hysteria, will not give to beat and throw the dishes or things.
• Explain that in the future he is not profitable for him personally . If he broke his peer, he will not play with him anymore. If adults beats, they will not want to communicate with those who make them hurt. As a result, one will be much more boring than in the company. You can approach the child who offends your baby, hug and kiss him. Thus, attention is paid not to the draper, and it will quickly understand that one can remain alone.
• Be sure to convey to the child the rules of behavior in the house and on the street. For example, "When we do not bother, we also don't fight with us", "If we do not offend, then we will not be offended," "toys can be taken when they are free." Children seek to order and instructions, because it is difficult for them. So use the belief in the word and rules.
• Praise Chado if he listened to your instructions But do not use the word "good" (according to the observations of the psychologists of the kids do not react to it). Accent attention on how much pleasure he delivered to you with his restraint.
• Come up with joint fairy tales, where he is the main character . This will help better understand feelings, like when drawing and modeling. Applying effective methods, you will help the child understand how to behave and unnecessary.
• Participate at competitions and arrange sports games, Physical fatigue does not leave place mental irritation.
• Leave for a child in an affordable place paper or old newspapers so that he can tear them. Please explain that so you will learn about his anger, and he will not break anything. Similar to the power of the proposal is considered to be a footman's legs or strong disadvantages at the time of the attack of aggression, as well as boxing with sofa pillows and rubber toy hammers.
• Recognize anger can be taught using posters or drawings that the baby himself draws. Ask you to portray different emotions and do not remove the drawing. Agree that the baby can show you on a poster what he feels. This will help prevent flashes of aggression.
• To compare and empathize the baby will teach the staging, which he will spend together with his parents. Any toys and objects are suitable, since the imagination in children is much stronger than in adults. Ask himself to invent and talked about the fictional heroes. Reason with the child who is right and to blame for the situations invented them. During the game, information is perceived better than during a lecture on improper behavior.

Sometimes allowing the child to be joked, run, jump and blame. Better let the baby spill the energy under your supervision than in a fight with other children.

It is necessary to show the child to a psychologist if the fights, manifestations of aggression continue regularly during the six months.

How to wean a child fighting: opinions of psychologists

Anna Berdnikova, psychologist:

Before you respond to the aggressive behavior of your child, listen to your feelings: what are you experiencing? This is important, because by the feeling that you experience will determine what is actually happening and how to respond to what is happening.
During the next outbreak of aggressive behavior, listen to your feelings. What do you feel? Bind and insult? Or anger and the desire to defeat this little seek, show him who is the main thing here? If the second, then you firmly hit the struggle for power.
What to do in this situation? The very first step is to try as far as possible to avoid fighting. Because, continuing to fight, you launch the situation in a circle.
If you are offended, then you need to ask yourself: What made the child cause it to you? What is his pain itself? What did you hurt or constantly offend it? Understanding the reason, it is necessary, of course, try to eliminate it.

Children's psychologist T. Malyutina:

If (child) bites or hits you, adult - stop it. Do not tolerate! Show that it hurts you, tempt, turn. And then explain. If the kid 2-3 years old hit the child in the sandbox, take him by the hand, apologize in front of my mom's mom, fight the baby. But do not forget to praise when the child is calmly playing, sharing toys. Show that feelings can be expressed by words. While the kid himself did not have learned to explain what happens to him, do it for him. "I don't like that you beat me, it hurts me, but I understand that you are angry, because I forbid you ..." When you grow up, just ask: "You don't need to beat me, better say that you don't like?" Until 4 years, while the child is not aware of his senses, pronounce him, and then he can express dissatisfaction with words, and not fists.

Psychologist Olga Zeitlin about fights between children in one family:

Often parents protect one of the children, usually the weakest or younger and asking children to do, as he wants. The elders have a resentment and the desire to take revenge on the younger. They can do it imperceptibly for adults. If parents defend the younger, he feels the winner, and he continues to serve his brother or sister himself. Parents do not understand that they only focus on rivalry between children. Parents often do not notice the "good" child's provocations, which provokes her brother or sister when kicking him under the table or whispering offensive words.

E. Komarovsky on the aggression of babies in relation to its parents:

Again, my attitude towards how to correct such behavior does not correspond to the fact that psychologists recommend. My opinion: if the child shows aggression towards adults, then this is a realization of certain instincts, but it also has another instinct: the child is inferior if he sees that he is against whom it applies physical impact is stronger. Therefore, always when the child raises her hand (or leg) to mom, it is necessary to afford a response controlled aggression. No aggressive physical action of the child in relation to adults should remain unpunished. Adults have a huge number of ways to control the behavior of children, because the whole life of the child depends on the adult. It is you give a daughter of sweetness, buying toys, you may include cartoons - and in all this you can restrict the child if he behaves not as you want. In any case, the topic raised is not pediatric, but uniquely psychological. This is me that you are already read now - these are not a specialist advice, but the opinion of your familiar doctor who is not an expert in children's psychology.

To understand the reasons that cause aggressive behavior in a child, to begin with, it should be understood what aggression is. Psychologists argue that aggression is not an installation, not a motive and not even emotion. Aggression is not a healthy behavior model that is laid in early childhood. The reasons that provoke the development of an aggressive model of the child's behavior have a very real soil, so it is extremely important not only to know about them, but not to ignore the possible consequences.

We selected the most common causes of aggression in children, according to experts:

Reason # 1 - rejection by parents

This reason is one of the basic, as according to statistics, most often aggressive behaviors are manifested in unwanted kids. If the child appeared at the parents who were realized or subconsciously not ready for this, he not only intuitively feels trick, but also "reads" this information from intonation and gestures. Such a child tries to prove that he is good and has the right to exist. However, it takes this, as a rule, rather aggressive.

Cause # 2 - hostility

It is very difficult for a child whose parents are hostile to him. Over time, this kid takes the attitude of the parents to the world around him, which seems to be far from friendly. If parents allow you to tear your negative on a child or blame the baby in our own failures, the child not only loses self-confidence, he has fears and phobias. Over time, the lack of a sense of safety and stability lead to splashes of aggression that are directed to parents.

The reason number 3 is the destruction of emotional ties

If the child is forced to live with parents who belong to each other disrespectful or hostile, his life turns into a daytime nightmare. It is especially sad when the child is not just a witness of the family quarrels, but also a member of dramatic events.

As a result, the baby is either in constant voltage, suffering from family parsing and an unstable atmosphere in the house, or begins to felt the soul and become a subtle manipulator with a very aggressive model of behavior.

Cause No. 4 - disrespect for the personality of the baby

Aggressive behavior may be caused by non -actic and incorrect criticism, humiliating and offensive comments, especially if they were expressed publicly. Disrespect for the Personality of the baby and, even more so, his humiliation can cause serious complexes that destroy self-confidence.

Cause No. 5 - Excessive Control

As a rule, excessive control over the behavior of the child is established by parents who have hard and impellers. However, in the desire to control each step, mom and dad should not forget that they suppress the person and inhibit the development of their child. In addition, the hyperopka causes not so much love as far as fear and the desire to escape. The end result of such a tough education will be the aggressive behavior of a child aimed at surrounding (adults and children). A certain veiled protest against the "oppression" of the person, the rejection of the situation of subordination, the existing state of affairs, the fight against prohibitions. In attempts to protect your baby, I choose the form of protection attack, even when he does not face a danger.

Cause # 6 - Excess attention

When a child in the family is paying a lot of attention, he quickly gets used to it and becomes bald. Over time, the desire of parents to please the baby turns around against them. If the next desire of such tea is not fulfilled, in response, parents receive an outbreak of aggression in the form of a rolled hysteria or "quiet" meanness.

Cause No. 7 - Lack of attention

Eternal employment of parents also generates aggressive behavior in kids. In this case, aggression is used as a way to attract parental attention, even in a negative form. The child feels lonely and defenseless, he is frightened with indifference parents and as a result - aggressive, inadequate actions.

Cause №8 - Feeling

It should also be remembered that the bursts of aggression can be caused by the alarming state of the baby and are dictated by fear. Quite often aggressive behavior is a cry of a child about help, behind which a real tragedy and genuine grief. As a rule, a frightened person acts and thinks not adequately. A frightened child also produces a situation from under control and ceases to understand who his enemy is, and who is a friend.

Sergey Vasilenkov for the Women's magazine "Charm"