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Psychological manipulations in dealing with men. Counteracting male manipulation. How women manipulate men

Manipulation is a rude word, people associate it with wrongful deeds, something dirty and ugly. But stereotypes aside, the manipulation technique itself is not so bad.

Let's take a situation when a man in a family tends to make decisions on his own, ignores his spouse. However, the quality of these solutions leaves much to be desired. What to do in such a situation? Accept or gently lead your husband to the right decision? The second option is preferable because it will lead to everyone's pleasure with minimal psychological loss.

Manipulation is not an easy task as it might seem at first glance. It depends on women's wisdom, the ability to balance between uncertainty and extreme, to feel a subtle partner, to take into account his interests. Not everyone has a gift for manipulating men.

By itself, female manipulation is in a certain sense beneficial for a man. Imagine that a woman was deprived of such an opportunity and in family conflicts began to behave like a husband - to defend her point of view with the help of harsh words, without a hint of concessions. What kind of family well-being can we talk about then? At the same time, the woman's ability to calmly lead her spouse to resolve the issue gives him a chance to feel like a hero.

There may be several reasons for using manipulation techniques:

  1. men want to see a woman in front of them. As paradoxical as it may sound, gender is a reason to manipulate men. The secret is that in any situation a man will be more loyal to a woman. The latter can only choose a technique that suits the situation;
  2. men are fighting for freedom. Men do not want to get married, take responsibility, or do other things that somehow limit them. In this situation, the woman has no choice but to resort to manipulation techniques;
  3. men seek to lead women. Many representatives of the stronger sex know how to manage a woman in order to get the "correct" behavior from her. This is most often used by cheaters or freeloaders, who shift the entire burden of relationships onto the fragile shoulders of the companion. In order not to become a slave to relationships, a woman should learn how to manipulate men herself.

The laws of managing a man need to be learned. It is impossible at one moment to become a lady who influences her spouse with just one glance. This behavior looks ridiculous. Therefore, below are the main ways to manipulate a man. There are seven of them, but the well-being in the family and a friendly atmosphere will depend on how well a woman learns to use them.

Basic rules of manipulation

Manipulation is not just a set of laws. You cannot master science only by studying the postulates. In such a delicate matter, you need to be able to understand a man, know psychology and feel the general condition and mood of your partner.

Practice is just as important. Since knowledge of the laws is not a guarantee of their high-quality use in life. The most important rule is to respect your man. Manipulation by a man should not humiliate his dignity, only such an approach will guarantee the development of relations. If you use unscrupulous approaches, then the effect of them will be small. But how long the relationship with a man will last - most likely no more than 2-3 approaches.

Seven golden rules for manipulating men:

  1. praise. A man must be praised as much and often as possible. It is good if this happens in the presence of other people. Recognition is important for men, and if it comes from a beloved woman and in society, it is worth a lot. There is no better expression for any man. There is one exception to this rule - praise must be sincere, from the heart. Don't flatter or tell a lie. This is always felt and the effect will be the opposite. You can praise anything. Take a closer look at your partner, note his positive features, focus on his act. Men love it when for any action, even everyday, they receive a positive assessment with the help of words. This is not only pleasant, but also motivates for further actions;
  2. helplessness. The classic feminine trick is to show that the man is the only one who can help cope with the problem. In principle, it is not so important - dust off the top shelf, open a can, or deal with a non-working computer. Do not deny a man the pleasure of helping. The request should sound affectionate and tender - "beloved, only you can handle this." You make him feel like a real man, push him to show. If you approach the question with a commanding tone - "how much can you ask to take out the trash", the manipulation will fail before it can begin;
  3. the beauty. A woman who looks after herself and tries to please a man makes her want to do something pleasant for her. Beautiful hair, well-groomed skin, makeup, clothes - all these are not just the usual elements of a woman's image, but also a powerful weapon for manipulating men, which a woman often uses in her arsenal of means. A gentleman can rarely resist a beautiful, seductive lady. But it is important to remember that the main thing with this rule is not to overdo it;
  4. tenderness. I recall the popular saying that a kind word is pleasant to a cat. A man is not a cat, but, nevertheless, he is insanely happy with the manifestation of care and tenderness. Be gentle and affectionate towards a man - this behavior of a woman leads to more results than direct and rude pressure. Before asking for something, go to your partner, stroke him, say something nice - any man melts with pleasure at such moments and is ready for a lot;
  5. sex. One of the first methods of manipulation that all women knew about. It was not for nothing that geisha and courtesans were so highly valued, who could achieve unprecedented results from wealthy sponsors. Sexuality makes it possible to get what you want from a man. At the same time, it is important to maintain a balance and approach the issue gently and unobtrusively. The frequent approach of women "until you do what you want - there will be no sex" led to the breakup of many couples. There is no need to resort to such dishonest methods;
  6. tears. Almost no man can withstand the cry of a woman, especially a beloved one. The reception is not entirely honest and beautiful, but in some cases it is simply necessary. Usually men are afraid of women's tears, do not want to hear them for a long time, so they try to immediately agree to all the conditions, if only the spouse would calm down. It is worth noting that there are two exceptions to this rule. Firstly, you cannot translate tears into a hysterical fit. Secondly, such a method is not allowed to be used often, since even such an unpleasant phenomenon as tears can be addictive. A man who understands the meaning of tears will ignore them in any other situation;
  7. food. No wonder they talk about the male stomach. Women probably know that a hungry man does not need to be forced to solve difficult issues or be asked to do something. When a man is hungry, his mood goes into a negative phase. Therefore, before you approach your husband with a request, feed him. A well-fed man is a kind man. It is worth remembering this law every time you want to get something from your husband.

Psychological methods and methods of manipulation

Manipulation is a complex and multifaceted process. The above techniques are not the only ones in the relationship between a man and a woman. In psychology, there are other options for how to control a man.

They can be based on the following:

  1. human needs, his character traits, interests;
  2. life beliefs;
  3. behavior, habits, thinking;
  4. professional activity;
  5. emotions, character warehouse.

Based on these goals, one or a combination of several techniques is selected that affect one or another area of ​​human consciousness.

Techniques of exposure:

  1. clarification. The woman pretends that she wants to clarify some idea. She repeats the words of the man, but only partially. Otherwise, it puts its own meaning. This technique subtly changes the direction of the partner's thinking in the direction necessary for the woman;
  2. inconsistency. This is a purely feminine method, when in a conversation the wife begins to move from one topic to another, often cutting off a thought in the middle. This contributes to the fact that the information on the controversial issue was brought to the man, entered consciousness, but the man himself did not have time to react to it, as the woman changed the subject in between times. Despite this, the necessary thought in a man is already embedded;
  3. increased suspicion. If a woman begins to suspect a man and show such a state in every possible way, then it is easier for him to do what she asks, so as not to bother him anymore. The reception is not the most pleasant, but quite effective;
  4. emphasis on details. If a woman needs to convey to a man a thought with which he probably will not agree, then you can use this technique. Its essence is to quickly communicate information, and immediately after it, focus the man's attention on the message that is not so fundamental. As a rule, the man no longer remembers the first news.

Any method of female manipulation should be applied as naturally as possible. If in the course of a conversation a woman dwells too clearly on the facts or replays with inconsistency, the manipulation with a probability of 100% will fail.

Want to get it right the first time? Mastery comes with practice. To begin with, practice alone, then proceed with the implementation of techniques in communicating with a man.

Controlling Men Through Sex

The relationship between a man and a woman is initially sexually charged. How you can get something from a man through sex has already been mentioned. Now I would like to expand on this issue a little deeper.

It is believed that erotic manipulation begins after marriage. It's not like that at all. A woman thinks how to tie a man to her from the moment she felt his sexual attraction.

Sex manipulation begins from the moment when a woman holds a man at a distance. Most ladies are familiar with the situation when dating with a man lasts a long time, mutual desire is present, but the woman still keeps aloof. As a rule, the reason for this is a banal desire to manipulate a man's behavior - to seek gifts or bright deeds. Unfortunately, women at such a moment forget that not only the man suffers from such behavior, but also the relationship in general.

The other side of the situation is the solution of family conflicts through sexual prohibition. The essence is the same - the result is different. If you resort to this method of manipulation because of resentment and other disagreements, then sex from mutual joy turns into an instrument on the battlefield with which each of the spouses tries to recapture power.

But there is another interesting side to sexual manipulation of men. Prior to this, situations were considered in which physical intimacy itself was a factor of influence on a man. But you can control a man's behavior by allowing him to be near a sexy woman.

This male behavior is not a secret. As a dominant male, a man emphasizes status if a sexy woman pays attention to him, who at the same time is liked by other men. It is not for nothing that male leaders take girls of model appearance for the post of secretary.

In such a delicate matter, it is worth remembering that the techniques associated with sex life drain people and feelings. Therefore, from the variety of ways to control a man, it is better to forget about it.

NLP man manipulation techniques

Neuro-linguistic programming is a complex science, but at the same time effective. It is used in any area - in communication, relationships. It should be said right away that NLP is not a technique that can be mastered the first time. People spend months practicing their skills, but it's still worth a try.

Moreover, as psychologists assure, the use of NLP techniques can help improve relationships between people and solve many problems.

Among the techniques that are acceptable in family life, one can single out:

  1. adjustment. This technique is aimed at getting the closest possible contact between partners. To do this, you need to observe the man and try to accurately reproduce his gestures, facial expressions, tone and rate of speech, and breathing rate. At the same time, adjustment for a partner should be natural and unobtrusive. After adaptation, you can proceed to the process of mind control. To do this, you just need to perform an action or start a conversation. The man will echo your words, fulfill requests;
  2. anchor. This is a technique that brings a man back to the moment where he was happy. In other words, if you need to achieve a positive solution to the issue, you need to create an atmosphere in which the man is more likely to agree with you. The reception is carried out sequentially in several stages. First, you need to tune the man to the memory of pleasant emotions, remind him of how great it was at a certain moment in life. When your partner is immersed in emotions, you should abruptly change the topic of the conversation and voice the request. On a wave of emotions, the spouse will certainly not refuse;
  3. three YES. This technique works in all areas of life. Its essence is simple - the interlocutor is asked only three questions. In this case, it is imperative that the first two questions be answered "YES". The last question is the most important, the problem is being voiced. By inertia, the man will answer "YES" for the third time. The rule is old, but it works;
  4. disarming. A technique that will force the husband to do what the woman wants. If the family has a principled point of view, which the man is not going to change, then the partner needs to be disarmed. Truth will help in this. It is enough to say openly, “I know your point of view. This is the point where we argue. I don't want to swear, but I want to solve the problem. Let's think together how to do it. " A win-win technique that leads to total surrender.

There are many techniques and laws in NLP. They will help you solve any problem that arises. It is important to remember that the effectiveness of each technique is determined by the number of training sessions. Do not worry if the first time you do not succeed in achieving the result. You can work out the techniques by watching video tutorials on YouTube.

How to control a man skill and art of manipulation

There is a point of view that if a woman loses the ability to manipulate, she ceases to be a woman. There is some truth in this, but in fact, both sides benefit from female manipulation.

Manipulating men can be called a kind of art. It is not subject to everyone, and often attempts to influence a woman fail with failure.

The main rule of female manipulation is not to let the husband notice that they are trying to control him. As soon as such a thought appears in your partner, forget about trust and love. Husbands are ready to forgive different things, but an attempt on freedom, the desire to gain control over him - actions beyond what is permissible.

Public opinion is of the opinion that manipulation is a dirty way of interaction between people. Manipulators are considered people who are unable to achieve results with the help of their mind or ability. But sometimes in life it happens that female manipulation of a man becomes a necessary element of a relationship.

This is more often due to the fact that, in the male understanding, interaction with a woman, joint solution of issues is considered an indicator of spinelessness, especially if problems are dealt with step by step, with examples and solutions. Such husbands are nicknamed "henpecked" and are treated with contempt. Therefore, the woman has no choice but to take control of the family on the sly, surreptitiously. So that the cats are fed and the mice are safe.

This is not to say that female manipulation should be used at every step on a daily basis. But if the problem cannot be solved by other methods, then it is better to resort to this behavior. It is important to maintain a balance here, since too frequent use of manipulation can turn a man into a weak-willed person.

The frequency of using manipulations on a man depends on the method chosen. The method of affection or praise can be used often because it affects the person's psyche in a positive way. But tears or sexual blackmail are negative techniques that are best used as little as possible.

Thus, female manipulation in relationships can bring both benefits to a man and a woman, and harm. It is important to carefully consider the strategy and subsequent effects of each action.

Everyone is manipulating each other. This process begins in early childhood and does not end until death. Basically, this is an instinctive, unconscious manipulation based on the love of loved ones for each other. Mutual influence occurs between children and parents, brothers and sisters, and between spouses.

The process of upbringing, the organization of family life - all this is a cycle of psychological manipulation, thanks to which the family feels like a single harmonious whole, and it is in the family that a person gains knowledge of how to manipulate people with words, gets the basics of knowledge of human psychology and how to manage them. With unconscious manipulation, everyone at different moments of life is both a victim and a manipulator, the roles are regulated in a natural way.

People manipulate each other in many ways:

  1. "Playing" on various feelings - guilt, pity, fear, appealing to conscience, etc.;
  2. Using instincts - hunger, sex drive, etc.;
  3. Influencing the mind with logical arguments.

With strangers, the process of psychological influence is structured differently than in a family. And if a person has not acquired the skills of manipulation as a gift - at the genetic level, or has not learned this in the family, then he will have to artificially master the skill of psychological influence on others, otherwise he risks being a toy in the wrong hands for his whole life or remaining a lonely misunderstood Robinson in a crowd of people ...

The hardest thing for women... For many centuries, they were shackled with conventions and dogmas, were deprived of the chance to make decisions on their own, had to be tolerant and often passively awaited mercy from fate in the form of a man who would lead them through life. Times are different now. And any woman has the right to decide with whom to live and work, whom to determine as husbands and lovers, or in what way to build her career.

Any woman can conquer a man with the help of a whole range of methods of psychological manipulation. If, of course, she knows how to manipulate a man with words and actions. Just before embarking on this process, you need to think carefully - is it necessary? Indeed, in the process of manipulation, you will have to step on the throat of your own “I”, restrain some emotions, and pretend. A manipulator is a difficult role, and in order to get what you want from a man, you yourself will also have to make sacrifices in some desires, it is not easy to be the “first violin”.

As the saying goes, the end justifies the means. If a woman has firmly decided to get a man as a husband or lover, to subjugate someone, then she needs to take apart the desired man "by the bones" in order to develop a strategy of behavior. Psychological methods of influencing a man depend on many factors. You can first find out the date of his birth, determine who he is by the sign of the zodiac, his psychotype, in order to understand in what key to build manipulation.

Manipulation by a man: psychological methods

It is foolish, of course, to fit millions of individuals under one cliché just because they were born in the same time period, but nevertheless, it is possible to distinguish common features. Here are some tips:

  • a lion.

How to tame a man if he is Leo according to the horoscope. These people do not shake the crown. They take compliments for granted. Praise for them is an integral part of communication. Therefore, a woman should allow such a man to feel himself the best in all respects. You can tame a Leo by praising his merits. And the more witnesses will be present, the stronger the effect will be.

The main thing is that the words of flattery correspond to the actions of the Leo man. Because noticeable theatrical pathos can at one moment turn the king into a jester, and a man will never forgive such a fall. It is also worth remembering that the Leo man must be sure that his woman does not lower his level, and in the eyes of the "pride" she must fully correspond to his regal person with her appearance and behavior.

  • Scorpion.

If a woman likes a Scorpio guy, the very concept of psychological manipulation becomes an empty children's tongue twister. Scorpios cannot be manipulated using standard techniques. You can only climb with this "freak" to the highest peak and, tightly clinging to it, clasping your hands, without further ado, jump from there from the bungee into the endless abyss. Or, on a call, pack your backpack and hitchhike to the sea.

At first glance, from the first minutes of the date, you need to discard all antics and false modesty, frankly make it clear to Scorpio that complexes are the lot of a squeezed crowd, and sex is as natural a need as food. Then the Scorpio man will gladly become a lover, a friend, and a companion for a woman. But if a tired Scorpio wants to lick his wounds between stormy events, you need to be ready to silently bring him a cup of hot tea, cover him with a blanket and also silently leave for a while until he calls.

  • Twins.

The secret of Gemini men can be revealed, if only you love him very much. Managing Gemini's emotions is worthy of being a thesis topic in psychology. The man of this sign resembles the main character of the movie "Split", his mood changes hourly for no objective reason, and even he himself does not know in what hypostasis he will appear again - a cheerful and sociable kind-hearted person, dissatisfied with life and an aggressive miser or a pessimistic melancholic with a desire to lie still on the couch and it's pointless to look at the ceiling.

The woman will have to learn to correctly guess in what guise her victim is this time and accept the rules of the game. If your beloved today is a complacent owner of the house, concocting pancakes in an apron with strawberries, then you can safely put on your best underwear, sing an ode to his culinary creation and enjoy a passionate romantic evening.

If a man frowned, refused to go to a cafe and all the way talks about the rise in the price of gasoline, a woman will have to forget about her desire or pay for dinner herself, complain about the high cost, injustice of the world and go home, do everyday things, because in this guise a man -The Gemini is far from passion and romance.

  • Taurus.

The Taurus man is a hostage of stereotypes and homebuilding. Everything should be decorous and acceptable in society. It will be enough for a woman to cut an article from any women's magazine with advice on "how to keep a man" and make it her guide to action. Everything is according to standard and no surprises. As they usually write there: you need to ask a man for help and, after the performed action, praise, find out his culinary preferences and pamper your loved one with delicious dinners, willingly communicate with his relatives and friends.

If a Taurus is chosen by a woman as a lover, then she needs to immediately reassure the man with a sense of stability by making a schedule of love dates. In order not to alienate Taurus when meeting, you need to observe decency in appearance and behavior. Better not to stand out. You can only influence the representative of this sign by setting the actions of men from the environment as an example. If you tell him that his colleague or neighbor every week gives his girlfriend a gorgeous bouquet, then Taurus will definitely take note of this and begin to do the same.

  • Cancer.

A Cancer man really appreciates a cozy home, delicious homemade dinners, a warm and dear wife and children. This man can be manipulated by charming him with quiet femininity and stability. He will never leave his family world, but the intrigues on the side beckon and excite him. It is useless to make a scandal and appeal to his conscience, because:

  1. firstly, in his understanding, this is all frivolous;
  2. secondly, the woman he loves is a sweet princess, and princesses do not arrange scenes.

The emotional fury is not his story. Cancer can be kept only by affection, care and understanding. You can penetrate it with tears. He reacts so painfully to women's tears that he can cry in unison.

  • Capricorn.

Man - Capricorn perfectly sees all the tricks of a woman-manipulator, even without having experience. Too subtly, these male representatives feel false. But paradoxical as it may seem, attempts to twist them around their finger not only do not irritate them, but touch and amuse their pride. Therefore, a woman can use any means of manipulation she is familiar with in order to achieve her goal: walking disheveled and breaking dishes, pulling a bag over her head and sobbing in the corner, pretending to be a porn star or meowing plaintively with a pink bow on her head.

All manifestations of female cunning and acting will only amuse Capricorn. But he will observe this whole theater with genuine interest and, being moved, will pretend that he has succumbed. So that the woman can get the desired result.

  • scales.

Libra men give in to a rapid onslaught. Therefore, a woman in his conquest must use all her charm, sexuality and ability to conduct a dialogue as quickly as possible. While Libra will think whether he liked the woman or not, he will already be at his own wedding, not fully understanding how he got there.

If a woman's goal is to maintain a love relationship with this man, she needs to be ready for constant initiative: to appoint the time and place of dates herself, pour wine into glasses and give clear signals that it is time to move towards the bed. And if you disappear from his field of vision for a long time, then this will give the scales the opportunity to reflect and make an informed decision. Such a process can drag on for an indefinite time and no one knows how it will end. Therefore, it is better to always be somewhere nearby and be in touch. That is, "keep your finger on the pulse."

  • Virgo.

Virgo man is a difficult case. He knows everything, he understands everything, loves to engage in pedantic picking of internal and external problems. A woman should not expect compliments or beautiful courtship from this man, but she will have to look for a key for a long time in order to manipulate Virgo. At first glance, it may seem to a woman that the Virgo man did not pay attention to her flirtatious look, slit on her skirt or stunning long legs at all.

This is not true. The Virgo man will notice not only the seductive antics of the lady, but also the staleness of the manicure, the roots of dyed hair that have grown by three millimeters and the worn heel on the hairpin. If a woman decided to conquer a Virgo, she should be on the same social level with him, have the same level of erudition as the object of conquest. Be discreet, but at the same time strong and self-sufficient.

Virgos are selfish... And a woman needs to show with all her behavior that she is simply happy that she is sitting next to such an outstanding person and occasionally catches his gaze on herself. And to hint that if they still live together, then she will be ready if necessary:

  1. drag heavy bags home;
  2. assemble a wardrobe;
  3. take grandmother to the dacha;
  4. stand by the stove five times a day;
  5. and at the same time earn money by replenishing the family budget;
  6. oh, yes, and also keep fit and look stylish.

That's when the Virgo man is on your hook.

  • Aries.

Man - Aries is the easiest prey for manipulators. All his "cockroaches" are circling around sex and romance. A languid look, stockings and cleavage will turn a woman into the center of his erotic universe and the main character of his original fantasies. And good sex and feeding his "ego" with the image of an obedient helpless girl can turn him into a weak-willed ram, a personal slave.

It is easy for Aries to turn their heads, but it is not easy to keep them close to themselves. It can easily include the theory described in the book "Love Lives Three Years" by Frederick Beigbeder. If a woman relaxes, starts walking around the house in a dressing gown, not combed, stops doing a pedicure, putting on lacy underwear and turns sex into a monotonous duty, Aries will immediately inflame with love and passion for the new Muse. And everything will repeat itself with the same fierce passion and dedication as in previous relationships.

  • Sagittarius.

The Sagittarius man values ​​simplicity and frankness. A woman only needs to approach this representative and whisper in her ear that she likes him. If you are of Sagittarius' taste and his heart is free, then he will also frankly answer that he would not mind trying to communicate better. And in the future, you should build relationships based on direct requests and responses. If a woman wants to keep a representative of this sign, it is better for her to immediately find out from him all his preferences in all aspects of life and tell about hers.

Sagittarius, by their trusting behavior with other women, can cause jealousy. In this situation, it is better for a woman not to show her feelings, unless the guilt is proven. Otherwise, the Sagittarius man will find distrust offensive, and the relationship will crack.

  • Fishes.

The Pisces man is an esthete. This type loves beautiful and well-groomed women, so before getting into the field of vision of such a man, you need to take the trouble and put yourself in order. And to appear, if not in the image of Jackie Kennedy, then at least just in a cute outfit that emphasizes femininity. Behavior should correspond to the image, it is better not to demonstrate familiarity and be frank on the go. Pisces needs to be a mystery. In this case, grimaces, and ambiguous hints, and mysterious techniques of geisha with a modest bare wrist will do. Let him fantasize.

Such a man should dream of the next meeting with a woman, so it is better not to rush, bring the power of expectation to its apogee, and in the meantime, think over your new image for a date. Only a woman needs to take into account that beauty is beauty, but in terms of the bill it is better to offer to pay in half. Do not unsettle Pisces with unplanned spending. The Pisces man will appreciate it.

  • Aquarius.

You can influence an Aquarius man only if you warm up in him the confidence that it is impossible to influence him. Therefore, from the very first minutes of acquaintance, a woman should not violate his personal space, use tactile influence. It will be better if Aquarius senses the light scent of perfume and body at a distance, enchants with a pleasant timbre of voice, and the conversation itself is relaxed on a neutral topic.

After the first sex, it is better for a woman to act like a true Frenchwoman - to fly away before the man wakes up by writing her phone number on the mirror. And on the next date not to tell that she hypnotized the phone while waiting for the call, nervously chewing her nails.

« Easy and no obligation "- the main slogan of the conquest of the Aquarius man. Let him call first, looking for a meeting, feeling himself a complete master of the situation. And a woman, meanwhile, with her lightness, unobtrusive tenderness and care, will gradually become necessary for him, like air.

Based on the above, we can conclude: any manipulation is individual. Here are listed a thousandth of types and characters, which, moreover, are imprinted with social belonging and geographic.

As our grandmothers used to say when giving advice to young people: "live according to your heart." If a woman likes a man, it means that she intuitively felt that this is her man. And if a man, when looking at her, experienced the same, it means that "chemistry" will occur. Of course, for dating, you need to draw attention to yourself, create a bright, beautiful picture for a man to notice a woman.

  1. voice;
  2. smell;
  3. common interests;
  4. sexual compatibility.

If a woman decides to conquer “not her” man, she can do it, but every day acting as a manipulator with a man alien to her in many respects, she condemns herself to an unhappy life full of deception. And the result will be disastrous. So maybe it's better not to boggle your head with all the advice, but to surrender to the mercy of nature and the natural course of events? And let the psychological manipulation of a beloved man be limited to pouting, if you wanted some trinket, or a flirtatious and affectionate smile, if you decided to drag him to dinner in a cafe.

In an exquisite dish of high-quality family relations, there is always a share of playfulness, a pinch of cunning and skill in manipulation. It helps to smooth out irregularities, joints between partners in time, preventing the emergence of a conflict. Every woman sooner or later thinks about how to manipulate a man with words. Young ladies with such useful skills are more likely to build happy family relationships in which peace and love reign than those who are trying to achieve their goal at any cost, even if the male "no" is an obstacle to their goal.

Everyone knows the words of the classic, one of the best playwrights in the world, William Shakespeare:

“The whole world is theater. There are women, men - all actors. They have their own exits, exits, And each plays more than one role. " - William Shakespeare, As You Like It

If it seems to you that manipulation in the relationship between a man and a woman is unacceptable, true love does not tolerate deception and pretense, then you yourself have fallen for this bait. Check it out?

All girls dream of a handsome prince and a fabulous wedding ceremony. About a room strewn with rose petals, morning kisses and sweet compliments. And now, it happened, the finger adorns the cherished wedding ring, but what do we get in the end? A bunch of family responsibilities, and in addition to them - a sea of ​​claims and reproaches, as well as a bitter feeling of resentment and guilt for their own imperfection, inability to satisfy the needs of a loved one.

And "Prince Charming" spends all his time watching TV and considers "household chores" unacceptable for himself. At best, I agree to come to the wall with a picture, and even then, if the wife herself brings nails and a hammer. Sound familiar? We, of course, exaggerate a little, but the essence remains the same. You are being manipulated.

"No one can do it better than you", "if I am important to you, then ..." or "if you love me ...", "and I did it for you, you are ungrateful" a normal person? " How often do you hear such phrases? This is not the whole list of trap phrases for psychological impact on a person's feelings. The task of such a manipulator is to evoke a feeling of shame, guilt and, most importantly, a willingness to sacrifice one's own interests, if only the partner is satisfied. Are you ready to accept the role of the victim?

Male Manipulation Guide

Female manipulations are not loud tantrums or sweet, already sugary "musi-pusi", although some representatives of the stronger sex even like this behavior. Real manipulation by a man is subtle and almost imperceptible. At the same time, the partner is convinced that he makes a decision independently and the last word always remains with him. It was he who wanted to buy you a new fur coat, because you really don't want your beloved to freeze, and frosty winters are ahead. Do you feel the difference?

We bring to your attention effective methods and specific examples that will be useful both in amorous affairs and in communicating with people around you. And so, dear girls, let's figure out how to learn how to manipulate. If you are confused by the term "female manipulation" or causes negative associations, take these tips as the right way to influence your soul mate, which helps to keep the fire of the family hearth.

In order for a guy to fall in love and be ready to throw the world at your beautiful legs, you should remember the golden rule:

if at the sight of you the natural instincts of a hunter and a conqueror wake up in a man, he is already in your hands.

Excitement has an intoxicating effect on him, like an exquisite alcoholic beverage. As soon as the chosen one falls under the hypnosis of female charm and attractiveness, he loses all strength to resist. In this state, it is much easier to persuade him to his side, make him change his mind, give in, therefore the main rule of how to manage a guy in love with you is to skillfully maintain the fire of passion and desire.

The main thing here is not to overdo it, so that the partner does not see through the trick. Excessive demonstration of one's own sexuality, excessive frankness borders on vulgarity, and this is definitely not our option. It is necessary to be alluring and mysterious, to leave room for male imagination. Remember that the hint of nudity affects guys much more than the naked body itself. In other words, a seductive pencil skirt below the knee with a flirty neckline will make the chosen one think only about the slimness of your legs and this tool will be much more effective than the defiant mini.

Use your beauty and do not forget to take care of your appearance, because she is our weapon in the struggle for a happy family life. A woman's strength lies in her weakness and this is not just a beautiful play on words. Try replacing the commanding tone with an unobtrusive request that the chosen one simply cannot ignore. Instead of the usual phrase: "Wash the dishes!" calmly ask: “I am so tired today, I just have no strength. Will you help me wash the dishes, dear? "

Do not forget the words of gratitude. Praise stimulates guys, inspires and gives a sense of need and importance for a loved one. Perhaps, after a correctly pronounced request and a grateful radiance of the partner's beautiful eyes, the beloved will want to do something else pleasant for you. For example, he will make a cup of aromatic tea or offer a massage to relax, relieve tension after a hard day at work.

You can also gently "nudge" your loved one to make the decision you want. To do this, you need to seize the moment and ask his opinion or, sighing in confusion, ask for advice on how best to proceed. This will increase your husband's self-esteem, demonstrate the importance of his opinion and ... achieve your goals.

“Tomorrow I will have to stay late at work and will not be able to take our son to the pool. Tell me, honey, what to do? So I don't want to upset the child, because he loves swimming so much. " Thus, the wife does not just manipulate her husband, but allows her to show her best qualities, to be a knight, to save the lady of the heart from the fiery dragon of everyday difficulties.

Use the entire arsenal of feminine charm. Delicate, as if casual, touches, languid intriguing eyes, pleasant aroma, seductive clothes. Look for ways that will most quickly lead to the heart of your beloved, lull male rationalism, excessive categoricality and leave the guy unarmed.

Instead of ineffective abuse, accusations after meeting friends and a collection of empty bottles of alcohol drunk for three, suggest next weekend to replace a dubious way of entertainment with going to the cinema for the premiere of an interesting film, attending a concert of his favorite musical group, playing together in the long-forgotten Counter strike ", As in the good old days, or even rope jumping (jumping from a bridge), if the chosen one has always dreamed of feeling the euphoria of free flight. How can you trade an unforgettable adventure for a boring evening spent in a smoky pub?

Your task is to intrigue your partner, to offer something really worthwhile so that he simply cannot refuse. How do you catch the right moment for a conversation? Remember that a well-fed, rested and contented man is always more accommodating than a hungry and tired one. Ease your alertness, help relax, and take action. As an additional reception for particularly intractable people, you can use a bottle of good wine. Quality alcohol can be your ally, but don't overdo it.

Manipulation like retaliation

Take note of this guide to manipulating men and do not try to overly patronize your beloved, carry household life on your fragile shoulders. Even if you are well versed in technology and are able to repair a crane without anyone's help, give up this work to the representatives of the stronger sex. Women's helplessness captivates, and the phrase "don't go, I myself" makes guys think about their own uselessness. It is not surprising that over time, men lose interest in especially strong and independent young ladies.

If the husband responds to a request for help with accusations in the style: “And when I asked you, you didn’t,” know that he is simply cleverly playing with your feelings. He tries to hide his own laziness, causing you to feel guilty and ready to give in, to do everything so as not to hear these reproaches and to transfer responsibility for unfinished work to you.

It is believed that "pouting lips" is a favorite technique of beautiful ladies. But guys also like to take offense for no reason, or just pretend that they are poor victims of a cruel tyrant - their own wife. The silent resentment of a loved one or an unexpectedly flared up scandal often pisses us off. How do you respond to this behavior? The best remedy is a great joke that will remove the mask from the "offended" face and make visible the signs of poor acting.

Walk forward two steps. Noticing the first signs of manipulation on the part of your beloved, make a counter blow: “Dear, you are not yourself today. Can I make you Turkish coffee? " After this phrase, it will be much more difficult to roll up a scandal.

Let's summarize

Family life forms the codependency of partners, and this always creates fertile ground for manipulation. It is important to learn to maintain balance and not go to extremes. Avoid an orderly tone and excessive frankness with your significant other. Remember the wise Arabian tale "A Thousand and One Nights". Cunning, knowledge of male psychology and a subtle game on the feelings of the Persian king not only saved Scheherazade's life, but also made the girl the always desired, beloved wife of the sovereign.

Stay mysterious, attractive and don't be afraid to take advantage of your femininity. A graceful play will only accentuate your charm and will be more effective than crude straightforwardness.

Which of the manipulations are most effective and what the habit of skimping on a man can lead to, says Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir dating agency "Me and you", psychologist, consultant on interpersonal relationships.

Playing on the brink of a foul

According to Kuznetsova, all representatives of the stronger sex can be manipulated, the main thing is to correctly determine the method. For example, for a man who has not been interested in his wife sexually for a long time, it is foolish to try to influence the refusal of sex, or to “hammer” in cooking at the moment when the partner is. It makes no sense to influence a strong and self-sufficient man with scandals. In short, a woman must first choose the right “pain point” in order to successfully influence her partner.

The psychologist emphasizes that it is worth resorting to any manipulation only if it is not possible to agree in an amicable way, it is also not worth abusing so much.

You can force a partner to act according to your scenario using manipulation only if he: a man not only fulfills your conditions, but also draws the right conclusions about how to behave in the future. If there is no interest in each other, then none.

“Any manipulation is always a game on the brink of a foul. It should be dosed. And if manipulations have already become a system, then it turns out that you are spreading rot on your partner. On the other hand, why do you spread rot on him? Does he constantly displease you with something? Then it makes no sense to put a spoke in his wheels, ”says Kuznetsova.

When, after the first and even after the second manipulation used by the lady, nothing has changed in the relationship with the man, you should explain. If the partner, in response to the woman's claims, said: “Fuck you,” you can manifest at least every day, this will not give any result. If a man makes contact, then you need to discuss an exciting problem with him and try to negotiate.

There are seven common methods of female manipulation.

1. Complete ignore

Not noticing a partner is one of the most popular female methods of manipulation. It works on absolutely all men. However, the danger of this method lies in the possibility of "playing too much" - the lady begins to ignore the man and blow her lips with or without reason.

The psychologist advises to always explain to the partner the reason why they do not want to communicate with him. Otherwise, the situation often looks like this. A man insulted or offended a woman, she closes in and. At the same time, the lady usually argues like this: "Well, he must understand that he offended me." And a man is not a telepathic person, and sometimes he sincerely does not understand what happened. Noticing that the young lady is behaving strangely, the guy clarifies: "Are you sulking?" And most often she answers: "No."

"So who is the stupid woman after that?" - asks Kuznetsova.

She is sure that before examining any situation, you need to look at the relationship in a couple. If, then how much a woman does not “ignore”, she will not achieve anything from a partner. He simply will not care: "You are silent, and thank God." But if people are interested in each other, and the guy asks: “Are you offended?”, It is worth giving an affirmative answer and explaining the reason for your behavior. Just make your explanation compact and clear.

“When you try to explain your emotions to a man, and you get oil, bloody blood and love love, the man does not understand the concept. He understands that you are dissatisfied with something, but he does not know what exactly. Therefore, the situation must be explained practically in three words: "You sent me", or:, or: "You insulted my mother." And only then can bloody blood and love love be used. Complement by painting, ”says Elena Kuznetsova.

If the partner is interested in you, he will improve. And if not, then your manipulations will also be useless. Ignore without giving a reason is stupid. Eventually, your partner will get tired of it, and he will stop paying attention to your pouting lips.

2. Food manipulation

Many women, having quarreled with a partner, refuse to take care of him in everyday life: men do not wash their clothes, do not iron their shirts, but more often than not they do not cook. And this is another most common way of manipulation.

As in any other case, it is worth resorting to this method only if the man has seriously “screwed up”. For a start, you don't even need to explain anything to a man. You can simply, and in the evening not wait for his return with a cooked dinner, as he used to. If suddenly he asks: "Where is the food?"

3. Tears

An incredibly effective method of manipulation that no man can resist.

The main thing here is not to overdo it, everything must be dosed, warns Kuznetsova. You should not cry over any nonsense and for any reason, so that the man does not get used to your tears. ... Preferably quiet and very sad. Do not throw tantrums on your partner and in no case put any ultimatums. There is no need to sob and say: "I want shuuuba", do not be like a capricious child. Better say: “Toma walks so beautiful, she has such a fur coat. And you have me so ugly. But I understand that you still have no money for a fur coat, that's why I'm crying. " Your task, and tears are a great tool here. After such a performance, a man should get out of his skin, but think of something and buy you at least a tsigeyka.

4. Sex

This manipulation is permissible only in the pair that leads, and the man constantly wants a woman. If sex is on the decline, it will not work to manipulate a partner into denial of intimacy.

Of course, you should not use this manipulation if you asked your partner to wash the dishes, but he did not. It's too shallow for denying sex. Weaning is acceptable if the man has really seriously offended you. When refusing to have sex with a partner, explain the reason for your action.

5. Scandal

This is also an incredibly dangerous method of influencing a man. Perhaps even more dangerous than sec-manipulation, says Kuznetsova. She explains that she has a denial of intimacy, and in case of emergency, a man is able to solve the problem on his own. The scandal has a psychological background, and the partner cannot fix the problem alone.

“When a man hears her screams, he just closes in. No sane person likes to be yelled at. So hysterical women just need to think about how long they can endure, ”says the interpersonal counselor.

According to Kuznetsova, no one will live long with a woman who loves to quarrel in order to "bend" a man for herself. The maximum that a partner can endure is a year.

6. Money

In this case, the manipulation works if the woman is of high status and earns good money. Most often, this method is "punished" for the fact that, for example, he stared at another woman. The situation is primitive, but obvious. The measure in "punishment" must also be known, otherwise a man who, in fact, lives with a lady only for money, will leave her because he has ceased to receive what he wants.

7. Children

This is perhaps the most cynical form of female manipulation. There are two points here. First, a lady gives birth to a child from a man, not because she loves him, but because she wants to keep him. The second point - does not allow the ex-husband to see the child.

“Manipulation with children is now very common, because women by hook or by crook, which is a catastrophic shortage. Very often a woman, realizing that a man will not marry her, because he, for example, is already married, becomes pregnant from him. This is the easiest one for yourself, or to receive money, "says Kuznetsova.

The psychologist notes that the child is not able to glue the crumbling relationship. And if a woman, from whom her husband is about to leave, decides to give birth to him only in order to keep her near her, this is a mistake. Children have never held anyone back.

“A woman commits a great sin by manipulating a child, because he is not to blame for the fact that the mother has. Such manipulations are beyond good and evil, it is not human. In any case, the child suffers, ”the psychologist is sure.

Useful information

Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir dating agency "Me and you", family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35. Call on weekdays from 11:00 to 19:00.

Women who try to influence a man with a child after a divorce, thus taking out their resentment, or because of a financial background, also behave stupidly. Relationships can no longer be saved, but it is very possible to ruin the baby's life, depriving him of his opportunity.

If you want to suggest your own topics related to interpersonal relationships, write to the address of the editorial office of "AiF-Vladimir": [email protected]

The word "manipulation" has unpleasant associations for most people. Other words are immediately drawn in my head: "to deceive", "to impose", "to force against will." However, harmonious relationships are impossible without manipulation, and if it happens with masterful, filigree perfected words and actions, then this is called a subtle psychological approach. Women are considered to be great experts in manipulation. Nature has endowed us with a special ability to balance on the verge of manipulation and wisdom. And although the art of manipulating men is a gift, they need to learn to own it consciously.

The art of female manipulation

If the ability to manipulate is taken away from a real woman, there will be no woman left. And men will be upset first of all. They are ready and happy to be deceived if it gratifies their pride, and they feel they are winning. This mastery can be achieved through practice and experience. A competent influence on a man's consciousness will allow him to get what he wants not through onslaught and demands, but through his sincere desire to do an act of his own free will. Girls demonstrate a talent for manipulation from the first years of life. Already at a tender age, they clearly understand how their flirtatious smiles, preening or new dresses affect others. Yes, a demonstration of femininity, tempting clothes, gait - this is the simplest form of female manipulation, the basics of which girls learn in early childhood.

With age, the methods of manipulation become more complicated and are brought to perfection, or not brought to fruition, and then mediocre attempts to control a man look ridiculous and even pitiful. And the reaction of men is exactly the opposite. To be among those women who are able to deftly control an army of men only in time and to the place with a raised eyebrow, you need to understand the subtleties of male psychology and learn to influence their decision so that it does not even occur to them that it was a choice without a choice. Wise female manipulation differs from "brainwashing" in that a man remains fully confident that all decisions are made by him, and only he! And he does not have to know that he is doing his actions according to a plan clearly outlined by a woman.

"Golden" ways to manipulate a man

Talented manipulation of a man is a whole science with its own laws and rules. And this system of knowledge must be comprehended not only with the mind, but also with the soul, since here it is not just a logical miscalculation that is important, but also intuition. You should start studying theory from a set of basic methods of manipulation, and then your own methods, verified by persistent practice, will appear. It is practice that can bring a woman to the level of a master. And yet, the first and main rule of any manipulation by a man is respect. If you want goodwill from a man, make sure that your manipulations do not humiliate him. Dishonest, "dirty" manipulations, perhaps, have a momentary effect, but later they will have to pay too high a price.

Method number 1. Praise. Praise your man! Anytime and anywhere! In this case, it is better to over praise him than under praise. But there is one prerequisite: never bend your heart! The compliment and statement of its merits must be sincere. Take a closer look and start praising him for things that previously seemed to you for granted. If you find in him and praise those qualities that he is proud of, he will move any mountains for you.

Method number 2. Need. Need the help of a man, but not with resentment at his indifference to your requests, but with cunning and intelligence. Don't say: "How many times do I ask you to download my application to my phone ?!" Approach the problem from the other side: “Show me how to install an application on the phone. I can't figure it out without you. " Let the man help you even where he is not needed, and he will begin to do things.

Method number 3. The beauty. She is truly a terrible force and one of the most powerful weapons in the manipulation of a man. Hair, curvaceous forms, perfumes, cosmetics, seductive clothes, grooming and everything that falls under the concept of your man's feminine beauty are win-win manipulation tools. Use them recklessly. Nature has made sure that men become trouble-free before beauty.

Method number 4. Tenderness. Manipulate with tenderness. Men are like cats, even the most brutal of them lose their vigilance when a gentle, affectionate cat is nearby. Before asking a man to satisfy his desires, touch him with a glance, kiss, or hands. And in a conversation, use the technique of "psychological stroking": before making a request, praise him or say an appropriate compliment.

Method number 5. Sex. The oldest but most effective manipulation remains sexual manipulation. The "basic instinct" can and should be used to control a man. Geisha, courtesans and even ordinary "moths" with the help of sex have always been able to manipulate powerful men, and through them and their dependence on skillful caresses, ruled entire nations. You can learn this truly golden technique at special workshops that are organized for women who want to understand the secrets of male manipulation through sex.

Method number 6. Tears. Not the most pleasant, but often very effective way to manipulate the male mind. Men are afraid of women's tears. This “wet deed” can make them feel deeply, evoke compassion and a desire to help. Tears will definitely not leave a man indifferent. Most importantly, do not go too far so that crying does not turn into a tantrum. And do not use this "forbidden method" too often, the man will easily see through your manipulation and stop responding to tears properly.

Method number 7. Food. A hungry man is an angry man. Never try to manipulate a hungry man, especially if your request is not in his best interests. Feed the man tasty and satisfying, as he likes, and only then offer to sacrifice his favorite hockey for your concert. Of course, this one way may not be enough to instill in a man a love of cultural events, but you have a whole arsenal of other arguments-ways, a skillful combination of which will make a man persuade you to take him to a concert.