What if you don't want to say hello to an unpleasant person? If a person does not say hello what does it mean

It's like that. Sometimes you don't want to see point-blank. But they don't choose their neighbors, and it often costs itself more to fight them.

Italians can teach a lot in this regard. We are sharper and more specific, and they are streamlined and slippery. And yet, I often admit that they are right in the fact that in case of an obvious conflict, they are looking for how to make a good face.

For example, we are obviously parting not happy with each other, but at the same time they tell you that you can come back, come, contact, call, if there are difficulties, then be sure to come and they will help. It's like a breakup ritual. And from a good place, and from a conflicted place, they always said that .... see above.

Does someone come back for help or what if you leave work? Rarity, great rarity. You are amazed only how they can sprinkle sugar.

On the other hand, as time passes, these words can help you bond.

And, there is also a manner. When looking for a job after an interview, they rarely say that you are not suitable for us .. usually: we will call you back for advice. After that, they rarely call, but they call. They consulted .. someone gave them a ride, someone they .. so they will call back.

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I agree one hundred percent !!! This speaks primarily of the rules of decency. And they should be followed.
But! When you do everything for the house (you have to - because first of all, of course, for yourself!), Then you clean the entrance (the only one!) floods constantly! And as soon as I start a conversation about the fact that they ought to do something, I am the enemy! Yes, yes, in the full sense of the word, and moreover they are sentencing you, they say, you do it. And how to live in such a shit ??? They live (all !!!) for more than six months with a dark entrance! Not a single one was able to screw in a light bulb! How can you ??? And I stopped ... I held myself a separate switch to my two shades. So you know what they came up with? That the light is not possible to turn on, because I "threw" a line for myself and only I can use it. Funny? I don’t really ask, but say that it’s not right in this case? .....
I wrote all this so that there was an understanding of the issue ... I don’t want to have any business with them ... first of all I don’t want to see them!

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You got painful emotions .. In fact, the way it is in life. Whoever needs it does it. You may be angry with me, but this is the law. If he is not obliged, but does, then he needs it. I come across this everywhere and everywhere, and not only me. I don’t like that the garbage stinks, I clean up. I can’t force others, but I can’t stand it. These are my problems, and their disease .. they can live like that, well ... it would be better not to live among these pigs. And the choice is not always there.

If you remember, I wrote how I moved to the apartment in the spring? How was the srach in the yard? In the end, the victory was mine. Supported .. began to clean up too, and together we were the winner. The dissatisfied were also .. but died out quickly, because their arguments were shameful and did not dare to pronounce them aloud .. it would have been funny ourselves.

So .. accept our condolences, we can’t help.

When asked a person has a principle: do not greet first. Is this good or bad? Justify. given by the author Enlightened The best answer is If a person does not greet first selectively, in relation to someone, then he has a negative opinion of the person with whom he does not want to greet first, treats him arrogantly. And if, in general, such a principle in relation to everyone is not to greet everyone first, then there may be resentment behind this, for example, he was once not greeted in response to his greetings. He is so offended by the thought that they might not say hello to him again, that he does not want to take the first step towards a meeting, to say hello first. I think it's rather bad to have such a principle.

Answer from AL_G-[expert]
so he is an asshole

Answer from Џna Shpak[guru]
It is not for nothing that there is such a rule, rather edifying than established: "Among equals in rank, the one who is better educated should be the first to greet."
It is foolish to elevate impoliteness to a principle.

Answer from Eurovision[guru]
When a person greets first, then by this he shows that he is showing respect for others.

Answer from Fitter[guru]
This is bad.
Who is the first to greet, and who is the second, has been prescribed and established in the norms of ordinary cultural behavior for a long time (for example, the one entering the room is the first to greet).
If a person establishes his own principles, which he puts above generally accepted cultural norms, this is nothing more than lack of culture.
And lack of culture is bad.

Answer from Yergey Cherkasov[guru]
Or maybe this is not a principle? And what does arrogance have to do with it? Why so categorically. maybe life, there is another, more compelling reason why no one thinks about it. It's a pity ... People, it smells a bit of hypocrisy here, I'm sorry

Answer from Afar[guru]
It is difficult to justify. But you can. If a person is far from culture, it is unpleasant, but nothing more. Maybe he's still ahead. If your interlocutor or colleague is arrogant, arrogant and elevates rudeness to a principle, then communication with him is unlikely to give someone pleasure.

Answer from Ћmish[guru]
Tanidaiboh my child will also think that this is a variant of the norm)))
IMHO - selfishness, disrespect, complexes. what other principles are there))))

Answer from Ўriy Magerya[master]
There are general norms, customs, and rules, and if a person cuts against the stream, then you need to understand the motives, and do not rush to paint him in any one color. In addition, a person may have heard that the elders are the first to extend their hand for greeting, and transposed this rule in the manner of greeting, that is, expanded the scope of this custom.
And there is one more fact. Some of the greats (it seems, Vernadsky) did not shake hands at all, even in response to an outstretched hand, because he considered it an unhygienic ritual. Although this did not stop him from greeting him. Like "Hello!"
Actually, I would not want to be friends with such a person who even squeezes out a verbal greeting only in response to yours.

Psychologists note that the number of people who disregard the rules of elementary politeness and refuse to greet in a team is growing every day. What can this talk about? First, people themselves have become more closed. They do not plan to build long-term relationships with new acquaintances, even when it comes to joining a work team or moving to a new apartment. Secondly, with the development of virtual communication systems, personal contacts began to weigh on many. To unfamiliar people are treated in much the same way as bystanders on the street. That is, it seems pointless to greet every person you meet. It's another matter if friends don't greet you. This may indicate secret grievances or other motives that people cannot openly talk about.

Banal reasons for not greeting

The reasons why people may refuse to say hello are often commonplace. But those who are ignored do not know about it, and therefore make false assumptions. Among such reasons:

• Visual defects - a person may simply not see his friend. Many people have vision problems, someone wears lenses, someone - glasses, and someone generally hides their problem. Before accusing a person of bad manners, you should make sure that he does not have visual defects.
• Speech problems - Some shy people tend to stutter during times of excitement. A meeting with an unfamiliar or very important person can lead to another attack, wanting to disguise which, the person refuses to say hello.
• Age-related changes - here you can observe a whole bunch of biological problems: hearing impairment, vision problems and even memory problems. Often, it is the elderly who do not greet their acquaintances, because they do not always recognize them or do not hear the greeting emanating from them.

Why don't people say hello if they know each other well, often see each other and know for sure that there are no health problems that impede normal communication? The most common cause is unhealthy self-esteem. A person sinks to rudeness only on the basis of the fact that he considers himself superior to others. Psychologists comment on the behavior of such persons ambiguously. As a rule, it is unlikely that you will be able to solve the problem by the method of benevolent conversation. Such behavior indicates serious psychological problems, which can only be eliminated by working through personal complexes and internal blocks.

Why don't colleagues say hello?

Difficulties in the work team are not uncommon. Cases when colleagues suddenly stop greeting each other indicate an unhealthy environment. It is unlikely that anyone would dare to stop communicating just like that. There must be good reasons for this, and if colleagues do not greet, then the problem should first be looked for in your own behavior.

The main reasons due to which the relationships of work colleagues deteriorate include:

• Personal dislike is usually not a secret. Some people still try to pull themselves together and observe formal courtesy, but this does not improve the relationship.
• Arrogance - Some individuals consider themselves a priori better than others. Paying attention to such behavior is definitely not worth it, as well as trying to teach an ill-mannered person to be better.
• Suppressed aggression - it can be the result of envy, resentment, anger. The team does not like toadies, unscrupulous performers, hypocrites, slaves. Any of these reasons can cause aggression towards one of the team members.

Gossip is another misfortune of collectives. It can be difficult to predict their appearance, and even more so to protect yourself from them. If gossip has spread in the team about one of the participants, then it is possible that this unfortunate man will soon become an outcast, and they will no longer say hello to him.

Why don't the exes say hello?

With regard to men, women have created many theories about why the stronger sex avoids casual greetings. If a guy turns away and does not greet, then this may indicate both hidden sympathy and unwillingness to communicate. Only a young man in love who is not yet too experienced in relationships can hide his feelings and avoid direct contact. In all other cases, men are quite straightforward, and if they refuse to say hello, then most often this indicates that they do not want to communicate.

Usually, contact is avoided by men with women with whom they were previously in love. The girls are perplexed: why does the ex not say hello? According to the fairer sex, there can be nothing shameful in an innocent greeting. But here a lot depends on how the couple broke up. If the girl left on her own, effectively parting with the ex, then by doing so she hurt the man, and, therefore, his unwillingness to communicate further is justified and understandable. If the man himself offered to leave, then this suggests that he does not intend to maintain more relationships, even friendly ones. The reluctance to say hello is due to a simple lack of interest.

What does it mean if the ex-husband does not greet? If there are no children left in the marriage and the couple is no longer connected by anything, then the man's unwillingness to communicate further is quite natural. It is possible that in his life there is another woman who is uncomfortable with the communication of the chosen one with his ex-wife.

What if they don't say hello to you?

It is not always possible to figure out why people don’t say hello: psychology does not give exact answers to this question, because in each case the reasons will be different. In general, the current generation is less attached to the formal requirements of etiquette, and there is an explanation for this. In the modern world, full of stress and external problems, people unconsciously seek peace, deeply immerse themselves in their inner world and often do not notice what is happening under their noses. Every day there are more such people, so do not worry that someone suddenly didn’t say hello. In most cases, the reasons for this behavior are much more commonplace and simpler than it might seem.

But if close people refuse to greet, then anxiety arises. Refusing to adhere to basic rules of courtesy indicates a serious problem in the relationship. What if a person doesn’t say hello, what does this mean and how to fix the situation?

"Debriefing" will have to start with yourself. Perhaps unpleasant moments or ugly words will be found in recent behavior, or maybe something else that could hurt a person. Often, seemingly close people stop saying hello, having envied someone else's happiness. The successes of others are far more damaging to the relationship than grief and failure. Human envy knows no boundaries, and whether it is worth trying to improve relations with an envious person, everyone decides for himself.

What if they don't say hello to you, what to do to regain the affection of a loved one? If the relationship ended at a related level, then you will have to spend time figuring out the true reason. If the family has always had a friendly attitude, and daily greeting was the norm, then unwillingness to say hello speaks of a serious resentment that can greatly harm family relations.

Psychologists do not advise taking too close to heart the behavior of unfamiliar people who do not want to say hello. In most cases, this speaks of elementary ignorance or a desire to preserve their boundaries. In both cases, the culprit in the situation is a person who does not want to say hello himself. Don't judge him or worry about your behavior. A self-confident person will not attach importance to such trifles and make a problem out of nowhere.

If colleagues at work refuse to greet, then there are several possible scenarios for the development of events:

• Letting go of the situation - let everything go on as usual. It is not always advisable to spend time re-educating strangers. If compliance with formalities or their absence does not affect the order and results of work, then it makes no sense to pay attention to the little things.
• To teach by example - you can go in defiance of the team and defiantly greet everyone. In some cases, this helps, "conscientious" members of the team quickly adopt the habit of saying hello.
• Have a heart-to-heart talk - if non-observance of formalities causes severe discomfort, then it is permissible to openly explain to the team the essence of the problem. Depending on the reaction of the employees, you can decide what to do next.

What do you do when people don't greet you? Are you trying to find out the reason for this? Tell us about it in

You have probably more than once paid attention to how bizarre greetings are in Russia. It seems that there is a whole theory and practice of greeting: how, with whom to greet, and most importantly, with whom not to greet. For example, in my stairwell neighbors don't always greet me. And the farther from each other on floors people live, the less often they exchange greetings.

Now remember how people in the West greet. In the morning, you leave your hotel room and run into a person who lives nearby. You say hello. You are riding in an elevator, which is used by people every now and then. They see you for the first time (and most likely for the last time), but they invariably say: "Morning", "Hello", etc. And passers-by, meeting each other's eyes in a restaurant or in a park, either greet or smile and nod. Unaccustomed to such "luxury" of a Russian person, such an alignment is surprising at first. Western people do not see anything significant in greeting, for them it is just a formality. In Russia, this "ceremony" is given a much greater role.

“These are cultural features: for them (Western people. - Ed.), Greeting is really considered the norm, how to brush your teeth in the morning. If you take the Russian mentality and go into the study of deep Russian culture, what is a greeting? This is a wish of health, prosperity "- explains psychoanalyst Karina Matveeva, a member of the European Confederation of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapists in Russia. That is, the Russian greeting carries a much greater semantic and emotional load, and therefore not everyone wants to wish all the best health.

If everything is more or less clear with inter-apartment greetings, then curious "incidents" arise at work. There is a picture on social networks that begins with the traditional phrase "This awkward moment" and continues "when you held out your hand, but they didn’t say hello to you." Judging by the number of likes and re-posts, ignoring a greeting is a frequent thing, it puts a person in a stupor. In a way, this is social fear.

Or, for example, in the office you often see a person, but do not know him. And you don’t understand whether you need to greet him or go through with a "brick face". At first, you pretend not to notice each other, as if looking through. Then you begin to show yourself carefully, so that after some time you begin to openly greet. And here's another thing: the person you greeted with did not notice you. Or maybe he pretended not to notice? Sometimes it comes to outright indecency when a person looks at you, you nod, and he turns his head away indifferently. However, I don’t want to say hello to some people whom you know very well (for example, classmates, "faces from childhood"), as negative impressions in the past are associated with them. And sometimes, on the contrary, you greet the same colleague a hundred times a day, finding yourself in a somewhat silly position.

Let's face it, people in Russia don't like to say hello, and are generally reluctant to make contact. Hence the "paucity" of smiles, unwillingness to meet eyes, etc. Russians do not like to be formalized even in everyday social practice. An indifferent "Hello" is unacceptable for us. One journalist friend of mine, returning from another business trip from abroad, was indignant: “I don’t care that they smile insincerely there. But they smile.

Or maybe our social fears, our infantile approach to reality, where we communicate only with those we like, are manifested in the unwillingness to say hello? And we ignore those we don't like. Of course, in terms of social communications, Russian society is not as developed as European or American. “What I love New York for is that here you can just talk with a stranger,” said the heroine of one of the Hollywood TV series. In Moscow, for example, such scenes are encountered, but extremely rare. People seem to be trying to cross the "social field" as quickly as possible, running from home to work, then to a restaurant and back home. Of course, we should not forget that our citizens do not feel protected, but it would be wrong to attribute sociopathy to this alone. "The issue of upbringing often plays a role here. Throughout childhood we were told that it was impossible to talk to strangers, and someone was even severely punished for this. Growing up, a person simply forgets about it, but on a subconscious level it remains, continues to work, creating an invisible barrier for communication, "explains the specialist in working with social fears, psychotherapist Maria Frolova.

Psychotherapists are now registering a tendency towards an increase in aggression. “The fact that people towards each other for various reasons are becoming more hostile is noted at many congresses and forums. society as a whole, "says Karina Matveeva.

Moscow is a city of various get-togethers, or, to put it more simply, a cluster of villages where everyone moves in flocks. There is no single urban psycho-cultural space in the capital, no sense of community. Although attempts to create it (for example, Gorky Park) are being made. People still perceive each other neutrally at best, but more often with barely concealed aggression.

Paradoxically, an increase in prosperity not only does not reduce aggression, but, on the contrary, increases it. Attempts to fill the internal dissatisfaction with overconsumption only lead to its increase. Moving away from spiritual values ​​to material ones prevents us from seeing ways of solving many personal problems. And this manifests itself in the way we interact with each other every day.

Who among us has not faced a situation where a person to whom we seem to have done nothing wrong, treats us with obvious hostility. "Well, why doesn't he love me so much?" - we begin to puzzle. There is always a reason. But we may not even guess about it.

It's pretty easy to understand that a person doesn't love you. Either he avoids communicating with you - he doesn’t say hello or greets you barely, through clenched teeth, may pretend that he doesn’t recognize you at an accidental meeting ... work together) and do other dirty tricks, small and large. Sometimes we learn about a person's dislike of us through a third person to whom he expresses his opinion about us.

I have had quite a few such situations in my life. For example, a former classmate with whom during school years the relationship was, if not good, then quite bearable, suddenly stopped "recognizing" me on the street, and at the meetings of graduates never greeted or replied to greetings, although she greets everyone else ... Or the general director at my former work, with whom I have not said a single word for all the time, and who, when I said hello to him at the meeting, looked gloomily and did not answer ... (By the way, I have him with all the other ordinary employees greeted before our eyes).

How do we usually respond to such situations? Or we start looking for the reason in ourselves - what are we doing wrong? - either we blame this person - here he is, you bastard, he doesn’t love me so good!

The mistake of many of us is that we believe that we are obliged to love. And we go out of our way to prove to our ill-wishers how cool we are. Which most often ends in failure.

We really don't have to please anyone. There is a good saying: "I am not a cake for everyone to like!" And the attitude of another person to us does not always depend only on us. It may depend on the individual characteristics of this person, his own "problems".

So what could be the main reasons someone doesn't like you?

1. He doesn't like your image.

A person can be annoyed by the way you look, dress, can get mad with too loud or, on the contrary, too quiet voice, manner of speech or behavior, the smell that comes from you ... And many other little things. Maybe you just remind him of someone else who, in his opinion, hurt him. And he transfers this to you.

2. I do not like some data of your biography - nationality, social status, previous place of work.

A person may have prejudices against people of a certain circle or profession. Many are suspicious of those who have a criminal record, even a teenage one, who once abused alcohol and drugs. Even if you have corrected yourself, started a new life - for some, such biographical facts do not have a "statute of limitations".

If you have a reputation as a woman of "easy virtue", if you took men away from other women, this can also cause dislike towards you, especially from people of the same sex.

3. I do not like your kind of activity - the content of your articles, books, your hobbies, your political attitudes ...

Even if you do not advertise what you are doing, you can easily find out from.

4. Envy.

The most common cause of dislike. The person thinks that you have undeservedly received some benefits from life - family, money, a good position at work ... Accordingly, he treats you as an "upstart" and "habalka".

5. The person has drawn some negative conclusions about you from your words or actions.

6. Negative information about you received from a third party.

It may not be true. But if a person heard from someone that you are a thief, sassy, ​​lazy, whore, etc., then he, not knowing you closely, will certainly take note of this.

What if you realize that someone really dislikes you? In no case should you flirt with this person, impose on him, prove something, psychologists advise. But you shouldn't answer with the same coin. For example, if the ill-wisher provokes you to, do not succumb - after all, this is all he needs!

If you practically do not intersect with this person, then the situation should be treated philosophically. After all, all people are different, all have their own "cockroaches". And you really fail to please everyone! Let everything remain as it is.

If the tense relationship is a big hindrance to you - let's say you are forced to live or work with your foe, then the best option is to talk to him frankly, to listen to his complaints against you. Being honest can often help you build contact. There are other ways: to help a person or to turn to him for help in difficult moment, support or ask for support ... Such situations often bring people together. Plus, by taking a closer look at you, a former enemy can change a negative opinion of you to the exact opposite.