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Gave the girl time to think. The girl asks for time

Hello!
Not so long ago I met a girl, but at the same time, she recently broke up with a guy who was about to come from the north, very painfully. Everything started well with us, the first three dates went like clockwork, there was no sex only kisses, but on the 4th date she said that she needed time to think, figure out what she wants. With all this, she does not refuse to meet further, but speaks of some kind of line that she cannot cross. What do you recommend to do? I understand that a relationship is only just beginning, but I really like her, I don't know what to do. Give her time and not date? or, on the contrary, to pay more attention?

Hello Nikolay, I think I need to be there. Almost always the man who was near, and not far away, wins. You are dating her, especially since you really like her.

Zarovskaya Edita Alexandrovna, psychologist in Moscow

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Hello Nikolay! let's see what's going on:


With all this, she does not refuse to meet further, but speaks of some kind of line that she cannot cross. What do you recommend to do?

You should do ONE - hear HER! this will be the surest way! She says that she does NOT refuse to meet with you, BUT for a full-fledged relationship and creating a new emotional connection, you need the OLD relationship to be completed - she does NOT want to cross the line in the relationship yet - ask her - WHAT is this line? at what stage of the relationship does she want to stop? what does NOT want to overstep? You should NOT leave her now or, on the contrary, try to show MORE attention - all this will be very artificial, and on the contrary, it will show her that you did NOT hear her! Start talking to HER (DO NOT ask from the outside - even psychologists - after all, no one can read her thoughts), the most important thing for harmonious relationships is to learn to hear each other, to learn to speak - and NOT to think out! talk to her, tell her that you are ready to respect her choice, that you are ready to hear her, that you are ready to keep the line, that you want to know what it means FOR her! hear her!

Shenderova Elena Sergeevna, psychologist Moscow

Good answer 10 Bad answer 3

Nikolay, good afternoon.

I will assume that your girlfriend is not completely sure that her feelings for her former boyfriend have passed. And she needs time to understand herself, to understand whether she wants to be with you or she continues to maintain an emotional connection with her old boyfriend.
Your girlfriend is wise. She does not want to deceive and let you down, suddenly, upon the return of the former young man from the north, her feelings for him will flare up again. If, when meeting you, giving you hope, she thinks of her former boyfriend, that would be dishonest to you, wouldn't it?
To build a relationship with you, she needs psychologically complete old relationship. This is what she asks for time for. Hear her, be sensitive. After all, you yourself will not want someone else to be invisibly present in your relationship, right?

Yarovaya Larisa Anatolyevna, psychologist Moscow

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Perhaps, in a semi-humorous expression, as if all men are from Mars, and all women are from Venus, there is some truth, because in the life of every man there was at least one case when he did not understand what the fair sex wanted to tell him. And it seems that the woman speaks Russian, and she constructs phrases correctly, and all her words are individually understandable to the man, but what she wants to say, what meaning she puts into her words is not clear. And if this woman was an outsider, this is not so bad, but if the guy misunderstands his girlfriend, he can seriously quarrel with her.

Of course, all girls are different, and they behave differently in communication and in relationships, but there are some phrases that, under certain conditions, are highly likely to be uttered by each of the fair sex. Knowing such popular phrases of girls and their interpretation, you will be able to better understand the fair sex, and you will also know what a girl wants to hear when uttering a particular phrase. Consider the most common and popular phrases of girls and their interpretation, and also determine what is needed and what should not be said in response to these expressions.

The girl's phrase "Oh everyone"

The phrase "Oh everyone!" became popular relatively recently precisely thanks to the worldwide network - this expression began to be used by both girls and guys when you need to quickly end a boring dispute or chat. Very quickly, the phrase "Oh everything" began to be used not only on the Internet, but also in real communication, and especially often this expression can be heard from a girl during an argument or conversation on a topic that was not interesting to her.

The meaning of the phrase. Having heard from your beloved, friend or casual interlocutor "Oh, everything", know that this phrase, depending on the context of the situation, can mean the following:

  • "I'm tired of arguing with you on this topic."
  • "Each of us will still have his own opinion"
  • "How long can you talk about this?"
  • "I'm not interested in hearing your story / opinion about this."

Obviously, none of the meanings of the girl's phrase "Oh, everything" can be called positive, therefore, having heard this expression, you need to give the correct answer, and not "add fuel to the fire" and provoke the development of the conflict.

Correct answer. So that the girl does not take offense, it is best to answer her "Oh, everything" something like this:

  • "Ok, let's not argue over trifles. Let's talk about something more interesting."
  • "Each of us is right in his own way. Let's leave this topic, tell us better how your day went / what are your plans for tomorrow, etc."
  • "Yes, it doesn't matter. But today I saw / learned / came up with ..."

Wrong answer. If your girlfriend or girlfriend tells you "Oh everything", do not answer her the following (unless, of course, you do not want to quarrel with her):

  • "Are the arguments over?"
  • "All of you girls say" Oh everyone "when you have nothing to say to the point."
  • "No, not all! Listen further ..."

Phrase girl "As you want"

The situation is familiar when you ask a girl something, ask her opinion, and she answers with a short phrase "As you want"? If yes, then you are familiar with the bewilderment caused by this answer, because it is not at all clear whether the girl really offers you to find a solution yourself or she is offended by something.

The meaning of the phrase. The girl's phrase "As you want" can have different interpretations, and you need to pay attention to the situation and the reason for which this phrase was said. Depending on the situation, the expression "As you wish" can mean:

  • "I don't care, decide for yourself"
  • "I have it now and I don't want to talk about anything"
  • "I'm not really sure I want this, but let's try."
  • "I have already expressed my opinion to you on this issue 100 times, but if you never heard me, I see no reason to repeat it 101 times, so do as you want yourself."

Correct answer. Any relationship, and especially love, should be based on trust and mutual understanding, so it is better to make important decisions together, taking into account the opinions and wishes of both. Therefore, if a girl says "As you want", it is better to still try to find out her opinion by answering her the following:

  • "It is important for me to know what you think about this"
  • "If you're not in the mood to discuss this issue now, let's talk about it later."

Wrong answer. In order not to get quarrels from scratch, in response to "As you want", it is better not to say:

  • "I see you don't care about me"
  • "Yes, in fact, I was going to do as I want"
  • "Then I don't care either."

The girl's phrase "I will not be offended"

Most likely, the phrase "I will not be offended" you will hear from a girl when you tell her that you are going to do something that she does not like (do not go with her to visit her friends or relatives, cancel a date for the sake of meeting with friend, you will not be able to meet her from work, etc.). Hearing this phrase, the guys are trying to understand if the girl is really not offended, or is she already offended?

The meaning of the phrase. Depending on the situation, reason and on, the phrase "I will not be offended" can be interpreted as follows:

  • "I understand everything and really will not be offended"
  • "I am a little offended, but I will not show you this, because I understand that under the given circumstances you cannot act differently."
  • "I was offended, but I see no reason for you to talk about it, because you will do it your way anyway."

Correct answer. So that the girl really does not take offense, especially if due to unforeseen circumstances you had to cancel a date with her or postpone some common affairs, it is better to answer her phrase "I will not be offended" like this:

  • "I am sorry that the circumstances have developed this way. I am glad that you understand everything, you are my best."

Wrong answer. Even if the girl was not really offended, she would get angry when she heard the following words in response to her "I will not be offended":

  • "So that's great"
  • "Yes, I, in general, do not care"
  • "Take offense, do not be offended, I will not change my mind"

The girl's phrase "I'll think about it"

If to a question that implies an answer "Yes" or "No", the girl answers "I'll think about it", it is not very pleasant, because you wanted certainty right now. Contrary to popular belief, a woman's "I'll think" does not always mean "No", and to better understand a girl, it is often enough at the moment when she promised to think. For example, if a girl looks you straight in the eyes, does not "close" from you with crossed arms or foreign objects (purse, papers, etc.), and her posture is quite relaxed, most likely, a little later she will give you the answer to which You are counting.

The meaning of the phrase. When she says “I’ll think about it,” she might mean the following:

  • "I want what you want, but I'll play a little and make you freak out."
  • "I want what you want, but I'm a little afraid, so I need time to convince myself."
  • "This is very unexpected and I need time to make a decision."
  • "I do not want the same as you, but I also do not want to upset you with a direct refusal."
  • "I do not want the same thing as you, but I will not upset you - suddenly in the future I change my mind or I need something else from you."

Correct answer. To persuade a girl to make the decision you need, you can say something like this:

  • "Yes, I understand that such an important decision is difficult to make right away, but I am sure that you are a smart girl, so you will think it over properly and make a positive decision."

Wrong answer. Do you want the girl's phrase "I'll think about" exactly mean "No"? Then answer this phrase like this:

  • "Is it scary to say" No "to your eyes?
  • "Smart people don't need to think long to make a decision."
  • "Are you trying to turn me off culturally? It won't work, I know your intentions perfectly well."
  • "Eh, all my ex-girls told me they would think ..."

The girl's phrase "What are you thinking about?"

The situation is familiar: you are having a great time on a date, watching a movie together or lying in bed and suddenly your girlfriend looks at you and asks, "What are you thinking?" After this phrase, you will definitely think about what she wants to hear and whether you should tell her that at that very moment you were thinking about your work or say something else.

The meaning of the phrase. Asking "What are you thinking about?", Most often a girl means one of two things:

  • "You look as if you are completely immersed in yourself and absolutely do not notice me. So explain to me what is more important to you at the moment than me?"
  • "I doubt that you like me and you feel good with me. I am afraid that right now you are thinking how to leave me. Dispel my fears and convince me otherwise!"

Correct answer... Asking this question, the girl, first of all, wants to make sure that you are interested in her and you do not regret that you are now spending time with her, so it’s best not to say the girl’s phrase “What are you thinking?” answer something like this:

  • "That I am now very good with you"

Wrong answer. The girl wants you to think about her and not about something outside while spending time with her. Therefore, to her question "What are you thinking?" it's better not to answer:

  • "About what my boss is an incompetent fool"
  • "About which bar to go to tomorrow with friends."

Hello it again Lesha Dok.

In this article I will reveal the cards on this issue " If a girl wants to think?»

my new site

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I will personally answer you.

My personal mail: [email protected] (everything is free)

Let's take a look at what it really means when one day your girlfriend tells you I need to think and weigh everything, I need to understand whether we will continue to meet or not.

At this moment, everything inside you turns upside down.

How so, I did everything as she wanted, was a kind and nice guy, gave her gifts, looked after her, constantly drove and picked her up from work, loved her, in the end, and she says that.

Actually, the girl will not think about anything since she has already decided that you are her not suitable as a guy with whom you can continue to build relationships.

You were heavily taxed and made a bunch of ridiculous mistakes that led to this.

I will give a few life situations that will help you understand why your girlfriend wanted to think.

Situation number 1

You and your girlfriend are on the train, and next to you on the side shelf is a drunken man and is constantly rowdy, speaks loudly, swears etc. Naturally, you and your girlfriend don't like it. The girl begins to tell you about her displeasure, and at the same time looks, what will you do in this situation.

If you're a coward, then you tell your girlfriend like what no need to pay attention to him that this person just got drunk and therefore behaves this way, that is, a cowardly guy constantly will move away from this situation and try to smooth everything out somehow.

A normal man, he will go to the conductor and warn him about a rowdy, if the conductor does nothing, he will come out with this rowdy in the vestibule and talk to him cleanly, as a result of which, after several stations, this rowdy will either calm down or get off ...

And the girl immediately shakes her mustache, who are you really a man or a puff

Situation number 2

You arranged to meet the girl after work, as she urgently needs to do some business. But when the day comes to an end, this guy not only has not arrived, he didn't even warn her about it in advance.

In the end, it turned out that he just slept.

The girl immediately makes a conclusion about this guy., the fact that you cannot rely on him ...

AND there can be many such situations and if you mow very often, then one day the girl will say such a thing " I need to think»

This article is only a small part of what is on my site, here is a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics of interest to you. You can immediately use this information successfully in practice with girls, without wasting your time.

Now I have 2 sites this site and 4mentv.ru. That being said, every week I I add new articles useful for you to these sites, therefore, in order not to miss them, add these sites to your favorites and visit them periodically. Now on 2 sites there are about 450 articles and 70 videos on topics that are interesting for you.

Articles by Lesha Doc (on the website 4mentv.ru)

By the way, if you want to guaranteed to get a girl from scratch, then go to my new site

Click: Guaranteed to get a girl for a relationship

If you have a question for me, then write, I I will personally answer you.

My personal mail: [email protected] (everything is free)

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Kostya, Minsk.

Hello. I met a girl six months ago. We have a lot of common interests and have always had a good time together. There was a place of misunderstanding. But I have always been open to any questions. But the girl is very closed in herself. He pulled a lot out of her. But she seemed to be telling everything normally. She always said that she loved me, that she was bored, there was always time for correspondence and conversations. They lived together almost constantly. But due to certain circumstances, she could not live with me permanently. Since she has children and she cannot introduce us, too, for certain reasons. But at the same time, it was never difficult for her to devote time to me by correspondence or by phone calls. But lately she stopped getting out to me and began to talk very coldly to me. Justifying that he cannot leave the children. When I asked her to get out for an hour, she also could not do it. When I put the question point-blank why. What prevents you from getting out at least for an hour to see? She says that she cannot leave the children. At the same time, there used to be more severe circumstances, but she found time. She directly lived with me. Before that, she raised the issue of the future together, but I could not give a normal answer because I did not know how to form a relationship from the current circumstances. Since there were additionally adjustments with work and housing. I answered, wait and see. She was very offended and even cried. Six months later. With housing and work, everything returned to normal. And it became possible to build normal relationships. But they were, in principle, and she was chosen whenever possible and was chosen almost every day. But when she began to spend with the children almost every day, I felt her coldness. I began to feel that I was losing her and asked why so? She said that I was putting pressure on her. But after a little pressure. She tearfully says what I wanted when she raised this topic then I said that circumstances interfere. What is our status, who are we to each other? Then I landed. How can you ask such a question after I said almost every day that I love her. And I also heard from her. I ask her so do you want a serious relationship? She says that then she wanted to now, she doesn't know. And what should she think. I asked how much she spoke for a couple of days. The second day has gone. And I don't want to miss my chance to fix and change everything. I wrote to her that you can change everything. She writes to me every other time and does not pick up the phone. I spoke with one of her close friends, she says that she is now really in thought sits at home with children looking for work. She tells her friend what she thinks. A friend asked what did you want from him in such circumstances? She is silent. She now has problems with housing and does not live at home. I was always open in front of her and did not touch her if I did not want to. But for some reason she stopped coming to me. A friend advised me to write what I can really offer and really give her a couple of days. That's exactly what I did. Spoke to her today. Asked how are you? Speaks normally sits with children. I inquired about her work speaks tomorrow for an interview. He asked how her state of health did not speak very well. I asked how much more time you need, says I don’t know. My head is bursting with thoughts or she wants to distance herself from me and quit. Or she will be in this state for months and then she will not need anything. She is a very peculiar person and I just don't know where she can come and how I can somehow influence it. Despite the fact that she does not pick up the phone and does not want to see each other. and contradictions in her words are beginning to be noticed, she used to say one thing and now I remember every quote of her. And she can't always answer. Please advise me what to do. And what to expect. Since you can see her torment and torment. I don't want to lose her.

Author's addition from 03/20/18 18:35:56
Everything would be nothing. I am a sensitive and understanding person. nor will I let my feet be wiped on me. Part of the problem is that it was so harsh. and under such circumstances. From inattention to exacerbating the problem. You could discuss it as you like, I never closed myself in front of her. But this is a direct blow to the heart. I understand that such a person can. But it torments me greatly. Because I love her.