Male friendship: Can a straight man fall in love with a gay man? We are good when we are together. Remind him of everything during a quarrel

12.10.2019

The phenomenon of gerlfag - girls who fall in love with gay men - was researched by Alexandra Kaminskaya for VOGUE.

“My first love was gay,” says journalist Anna. - I was 18, he was a public person, a teen idol, - and hundreds of girls ran after him. His homosexuality did not bother me. Do you care if Ricky Martin is gay or not? We were strange friends: everything except sex. And that’s because I didn’t dare: I understood that for me this would be the event of the century, and in a week he would go to the next guy. Many years have passed since then, but my priorities have not changed: I like gay people.

Sexologists call women who fall in love with gay men girlfag (gerlfag, “faggot girl”). At the same time, their own orientation does not matter: they can be lesbians, straight women, and bisexuals.

Accident

Psychologist and coach Svetlana Mitrofanova believes that when falling in love with a gay, a girl does not think about his sexual orientation: he is gallant, attentive to details and friendly. He sincerely listens to the interlocutor, so it seems to her that he is interested and flirting. "It's a paradox," says art gallery director Victor, a delicate and gallant man with impeccable manners, "I've always been more popular and interested in women who even know about my orientation than gay men."

“I stood on the balcony in the office and could hardly restrain myself from crying,” says Oksana, an interior designer. - The customer criticized my project, the embassy withheld my passport, because of which I could not go to an exhibition in Milan, and I also had a phone call with my ex-husband. My deputy Taras went out onto the balcony, threw a coat over my shoulders, lit a cigarette for me, and when I did burst into tears, hugged me, began to stroke my head and console me like a child. At some point, it seemed to me that kissing would be a logical continuation of hugs. But he recoiled, and when I directly asked what was the matter, Taras said that he was faithful to his partner. The partner's name was Yuri.

Distinguishing a straight from a homosexual is not always easy. Bayer Svetlana often intersects with gays at work and says that they are divided into two types: those who carry their orientation ahead of all other qualities, and those who do not advertise their priorities in any way. The first are cute mannered guys. The second ones are ordinary at first glance men, maybe a little more attentive to their appearance, polite and courteous, real gentlemen. As the hero of the series "White Collar" Neal Caffrey, played by Matt Bomer, who recently came out.

“I have always been convinced that gays differ from straight people in much the same way that men differ from women,” says Julia, a barista. “For example, my stylist never sticks out his orientation, but his eyebrows, manicures, yoga trips and carefully chosen clothes read a lot.” Julia has been working with people all her life and used to think that she understands them well, but she was mistaken.

A curator was sent to their espresso bar, who polished the concept of the institution and taught the staff professional tricks. He and Yulia immediately found a common language, he often touched her hands when he showed how to work with dishes and grains, they constantly chatted and laughed at the same jokes. Julia fell in love. “Once, as usual, we were joking, and I told a joke about gays. And he said that if it were not for our friendship, he would be offended: he does not like ridicule over his way of life.

Irina Morozovskaya, a psychotherapist and author of methods for bringing a person's life into a comfortable channel, believes that the inability to distinguish a gay man from a traditionally oriented man is a clear sign that a woman is traumatized in the matter of relationships. And she is also bisexual or afraid of intimacy, which is why she reflexively chooses the safest option for relationships - "friendship and nothing else." And the longer she communicates with gays, the stronger her fear of intimacy, in which deceit, betrayal, problems with sex and other difficulties are inevitable.

Conscious choice

However, unlike women who fell in love with gays by accident, journalist Anna has been dating them for almost 10 years and is sure that they are ideal partners. She sees heterosexual men as ordinary, ill-dressed, boring, unfaithful, and uninventive: "No more passionate kissing, table dancing, and crazy movie-style acting." Straight people do not understand her endless parties, antics and extravagant buddies, and she is not ready to give up all this for the sake of a standard relationship, even if they have prospects, but gay romances do not.

Anna likes her colorful life, in which men alternate. With gays, you don’t need to pretend, you don’t need to find out who is in charge in a couple, but you can just enjoy life and yourself. Every time, coming to the dance, Anna ends up leaving for a gay club: she is bored in ordinary ones. “It is unpleasant to feel like an object of removal - in an institution of any level. Much more fun to spend time with those who easily dance with you on the table, drink champagne from the throat and hug before going to bed, she says. “But without implying that the culmination of the party will certainly be sex.”

Sexologist Sergey Chaplinsky is sure that sensitive and versatile girls experience difficulties in communicating with straight people. “I studied the influence of gays and Jews on the development of culture,” he says, “and it turned out that they changed society and contributed to its development much more tangibly than anyone else.” Quite simply, he concludes, Anna is comfortable in an environment where the general level of personal development and erudition is high. Against the background of gays, straight people seem to her rude dorks. But this is no reason to think that this is a massive problem - a special case, nothing more.

Meanwhile, psychologist Elena Khil believes that homosexual men are often attracted to women with an unmet need for emotional and psychological intimacy. In our culture, the absence of emotions is still considered the standard of masculinity, she says. - Saying “Boys don’t cry” a hundred times in childhood can block the child’s emotional manifestations, and, having matured, he would prefer not to show his feelings. He will be laconic and restrained, will not let strong feelings into his life. Gays, on the other hand, feel their otherness, thereby freeing themselves from male standards and allowing themselves to show emotions. It is this emancipation that attracts girls.

Another factor that motivates single women and gay men to stick with each other is social pressure. Seeing them as a couple avoids the awkward feeling of being different or alone.

Sometimes the relationship between a gay man and a woman becomes really serious. Actress, journalist and TV presenter Mariella Frostrap argues that a person's sexuality and preferences can change throughout life. In her column in The Guardian, she writes that if it is perfectly normal for a boy at 15 to listen to pop music and walk around in short pink shorts, and at 20 already be a tough macho and captain of a rugby team, then why can't change happen to an adult? All that is needed, she believes, is to make a choice, feeling that it is the right one, and it doesn’t matter if it corresponds to some illusory norms.

Captivate a gay

To captivate a gay girl is not at all as difficult as it might seem at first glance. “Many people think that I am pleased when a man does not want me. It’s immediately obvious that they saw gays only in the movies: many of them molest beautiful girls themselves, says Anna. - There are only a few absolute homosexuals, most of these guys are bisexual. But almost everyone ends up going back to men anyway.”

Sex with gays is almost no different from the standard. “In this sense, I didn’t have any problems or special requests: none of the partners even offered me anal sex,” says Anna. - Maybe they have enough in sex with men. There were no special tendernesses or anything that would distinguish them from heterosexual men. True, I still think that they use anal toys, it just somehow didn’t work out with me or it wasn’t up to it. ”

If the gay is young and revolves in the field of show business, you can captivate him with a cheerful company, a friendly shoulder and openness. However, all gays appreciate the brightness of nature and love for experiments, so a holiday girl may not really try. There are also gay machos who outwardly are just the embodiment of masculinity. And such a macho is more likely to have sex with a beautiful and cheerful girlfriend who sees a man in him than with a boyfriend who perceives him as a toy or accessory.

“There was a case,” says the director of the gallery, Victor, “when a colleague and friend offered me one-time sex - just like that, for the sake of entertainment. The situation was conducive to this, and by definition, no unpleasant consequences could arise. She was married, she had a child, we knew each other well and completely trusted each other. After sex, our relationship, as expected, did not change.

It's harder with long-term relationships. Yana's lawyer says she fell in love with a gay colleague. Yana had to lose almost half the weight, cut her long hair and change her style. Now she looks like an androgyne. Yana's clients are shocked by the changes, but she herself is happy: Stas noticed her. They are very close, periodically sleep together, and Yana hopes that over time he will finally give up on men.

Svetlana Mitrofanova claims that the world has changed, and with it the roles of men and women have changed. Many girls are ready to be the leaders in relationships, and the law of compensation requires balancing a dynamic partner with a more passive partner or even choosing a fickle, overly emotional relationship that leads nowhere.

Alexandra, the head of a large company, was ready for the fact that the man she fell in love with was at least bisexual. She heard rumors about his connections with men, he dressed extravagantly, communicated exclusively with bohemians and did not react in any way to the signs of attention that she gave him. "I fell in love so much that I didn't care if he was gay or not." Alexandra used all her charm and resources to win him over: she connected him to the projects of her company, arranged joint public appearances, gave gifts and, finally, bought tickets to the islands - for two. “Then our first sex happened,” says Alexandra. “He was completely casual, except for the fact that he himself stimulated his prostate.” Sobering up began to come when the man began to demand that Alexandra pay for his apartment, buy him clothes and pay bills. Soon they parted.

To return to traditional relationships, women will have to become those next to whom a man wants to be strong and responsible. Svetlana Mitrofanova says that in her practice she even met a few “gays who changed their minds.” One of her clients, an entrepreneur, under the influence of consultations from an iron lady turned into an alluring and tender girl. Changes in behavior made her gay friend look at her through the eyes of a man, and professional interest in a specialist gave way to courtship and ended in marriage. However, Mitrofanova considers such stories to be exceptions, only confirming the rule that women tend to fall in love with gay men more often than vice versa.

Why not

If a woman is constantly addicted or has long been in love with a gay man, then this is already addictiveness - a pathological need in relationships with homosexuals. Addiction is one of the ways to adapt to difficult conditions. The simplest and most accessible addictive agents are cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. They create an imaginary pleasant atmosphere, which - obviously clear - will not last long. Therefore, if a girl builds a relationship with a gay consciously, she must be ready to take responsibility for their consequences.

American psychotherapist John Belew, a doctor with 20 years of experience and creator of the bodymindsoul project, argues in his article Gay Men and Straight Women that attraction between gay men and women is an illusion. A gay man sees a woman as a person, not a body or appearance in general, which may give her the impression that he is infatuated with her. This may be true, but it is not at all the love attraction that gays have exclusively for men. And sex with women in gay men does not involve the involvement of feelings - this is the notorious "sex for friendship."

Like women, in relationships with men, gays include play and flirting, which they do not need at all in relationships with girls. Therefore, women with gays, and gays with women, are calm and relaxed, they do not need to pretend, trying to seem better. Communicating with gays, girls feel special, but they must be aware that it is easy for them precisely because there is no double meaning or intent. This feeling brings together, but at the same time deprives both of the prospect of a long relationship. As long as both the gay and the woman remember that this is just entertainment, everything will go well. But if this is a way to avoid serious relationships that are normal for everyone, both members of the union will have problems.

Insincerity, like the “I’m with you until I’m ready for something real” attitude, dooms any relationship to failure. Understanding that you are far from the best thing that could happen in a partner’s life, but only a transit station on his way to a real relationship, destroys the nascent feelings in the bud. However, you can always give each other a chance - but for this you will have to work on relationships and appreciate your partner at least for the fact that he appreciates you.

Many women spend months seducing and even marrying a handsome gay man. Often they succeed: in Ukraine, where there is practically no tolerance for sexual minorities, it is desirable to be a family man for a successful career or business. Therefore, gays often enter into traditional relationships and marriage - but most often it ends in betrayal and divorce.

This happened to Denis, a talented photographer. He was born in a small town and was well aware that he was gay. However, his ambitious career plans and environment did not involve liberties in the form of same-sex relationships. After several secret romances with men, Denis “left the old” and married a girl who bore him two children and supported him in every possible way for all twelve years of a really happy marriage. Denis became an excellent father, achieved success, received recognition. And then, nevertheless, he met a man, left his family and created a new one - with Ilya.

Gallery owner Victor talks about his only heterosexual relationship: “At the university, I had a rather long affair with a girl - it lasted about a year. She was aware of my officially declared orientation, but apparently did not take it seriously. And she was persistent. I gave up because I had never had sex with a woman before and I knew it wouldn't hurt to try. We ended up in a fairly traditional monogamous relationship, and everything was pretty cute - until she decided it was time to have a baby. It was not part of my plans then, and I carefully broke up with her.

Irina Morozovskaya believes that the gerlfag has problems with self-identification. She is sure, for example, that Anna, a lover of gays, is a masculine type of woman and, most likely, Zhukov by sociotype: a strong extroverted woman, straightforward in self-expression, overly responsible in her work, accustomed to putting men before the fact. Such individuals are masters of extravagant deeds and are very similar to generals in a skirt, but they do not understand at all how relationships develop and what they can lead to.

Morozovskaya believes that the gerlfags are not familiar with both the man and the woman in themselves - and in each of us there are both components that make up the way of thinking. Love for gays adds to these women what is missing for the personality to become whole, and at the same time helps to accept themselves as they are. If the girlfriend answers the question “who am I?”, then most likely she will understand why she chooses gays. It can be easy to determine what is missing - just look at those who attract us. Bold and risky - it means that prudence and restraint prevail in us. Harsh and gloomy means we are open and cheerful. However, deep and imperceptible at first glance, the reasons for their actions are best sought with the help of a psychotherapist.

As far back as 1954, psychiatrist Marie Robinson noted in her book The Power of Sexual Surrender that the basis of female self-identity lies in self-sacrifice. And sexual satisfaction depends on the degree of self-giving. That is why women so love to look for difficult ways to achieve happiness - for example, falling in love with a gay man or repelling him from another man. Relationships with gay men help strong women justify their own gender confusion, avoid the difficult stage of grinding between a man and a woman, and also forget about the subconscious fear that a strong man provokes in a woman.

I fell in love with a friend

“At school, I only talked with classmates,” says Max. “And at the university I made friends with a classmate. We still communicate. I don’t talk about my orientation, but he doesn’t ask. The problem is that I constantly think about him, I'm afraid that he will find a girl. Every day it's getting harder for me," 19-year-old Maxim wrote on the forum.

Among gay men, there are many guys who fell in love with straight friends in their youth. But more often than not, attempts to build relationships ended in nothing. Despite this, Maxim is sure that in his situation everything can be different.

“I don’t think I need someone else. I might not have fallen in love, but we’re just too close with him. We communicate a lot. What if he has feelings for me too? I will regret if at least not I'll try to do something," the young man says.

Psychologist Marina Sichkar often communicates with teenagers who find themselves in a similar situation.

“I would not give advice on how to behave in such a situation. In general, this is a difficult question. You need to understand what drives people: really mutual friendships, or romantic feelings. I would not advise suppressing feelings, but you should not stir them up fantasies and dreams," explains the psychologist.

A failed experience of building a relationship with a straight man can lead a rejected young person to become withdrawn. “At such moments, it may seem that the problem is in you. That you are inferior, that no one needs you,” says the expert.

25-year-old Kirill also recalls his first love. He also fell in love with a friend, however, it was still in high school. Now the guy is sure that falling in love with a straight man is a big mistake.

"I really like the phrase: everyone has the right to happiness. The difference is that straight people will always be happy with a wife and children, but we will not. I generally made sure that you can’t fall in love not only with straight people, but also with bisexuals! Guys, do not waste yourself on straight people, and there are many worthy gays who are looking for their second half and suffer from loneliness," Kirill advises.

"The problem is not only homophobia"

“I remember there was a rumor at the university that I was gay. And only a couple of years later I found out where the “legs” grow from. I had an update on my Vkontakte page that I was added to a dating group for guys. Someone from the course took a screenshot, and then my whole group found out about it," Kirill says.

After the forced coming out, not only friends stopped communicating with the guy, but also those whom the young man considered friends.

The psychologist explains: even those young people who do not harbor aggression towards homosexuals are most often afraid of being "white crows" and stop communicating with gays.

However, not everything is so clear.

"I spent several months on probation at school. We had a teacher whose homosexuality everyone knew. And the attitude was calm. There was a very tolerant headmistress. There are certain leaders in every team. And the position of the majority largely depends on the position of these leaders," says Marina Sichkar.

At the same time, the psychologist is sure that friendly relations between people do not depend on sexual orientation. Problems can arise only because of personal prejudices.

“From my own experience, I can say that this is not only a problem of homophobia. Children are very often brought up on false values. Every boy must be a “man”, and for some reason it is considered that it is impossible to be a “man who loves men”. humiliating. And, of course, in such a society a gay boy will not be accepted. And even those who do not perceive the sexual orientation of their acquaintance as a problem will refuse to communicate because of this stigmatization, "explains the expert.

It happens that sometimes gays themselves distance themselves from straight people and try to build relationships, including friendships, exclusively with homosexuals.

"There is also the opposite situation. When homosexuals themselves withdraw into themselves and try to communicate less with other men, find girls in whom they do not see a potential threat, and make friends with them. That is, not only straight people refuse to be friends with gays, but also gays with straight men Already in adulthood, a person who has chosen such a model of behavior is likely to continue to look for friends among gays and limit communication with straight people, "says the psychologist.

"Being friends with gays is not just possible, but even necessary!"

Daniel is 28 years old, he has two children and a wife. The young family moved from Donetsk at the beginning of hostilities. In his hometown, Danil and his wife spent a lot of time with a same-sex couple - Grisha and Sasha. “I didn’t think about it before, but after meeting Grisha and his boyfriend, I realized that I would accept my son if he turned out to be gay. He is still small and it’s too early to think about it, but now I know for sure that this is not a sentence. I Of course, I would be upset, but only because I know what problems gays have in our society," says the young man.

At the same time, Danil is sure: "to be friends with gays is not just possible, but even necessary." Avoiding a situation where gays are shunned in a society is possible only after a critical majority treats people with a different sexual orientation with respect, the young man explains.

“For me, the question “Can straight people be friends with gays?” Sounds as strange as “Should redheads be friends with fair-haired people?”, Or “Blue-eyed people greet green-eyed people?” Danil says. .

We are always interested in learning something new about the people around us, even if this information is shocking. Tickling your nerves is also good, if occasionally. It is better to have the most complete information about the immediate environment, even when it comes to sensitive issues. It is not so difficult to understand how to recognize a gay person, it is more difficult to live on with the information received.

Facts about homosexuality

As an introduction, it would be nice to say something about homosexuality:

It is present in nature, characteristic of all animal species.
Homosexuality has been known in human society since ancient times. In many cultures, at certain periods it was considered the norm and was not condemned in any way.
Many famous people did not hide their homosexuality. Some kept it a secret, but after death, most secrets no longer make sense.
In Nazi Germany, gays were exterminated on an industrial scale. Along with Jews, communists, Russians, Ukrainians and Belarusians.
Every tenth adult man in the world has sexual deviations. It's not just about homosexuality.
Homosexuality was excluded from the list of diseases only in the 20th century. And then, the decision is rather political.
Homosexuality can be accompanied by a number of mental disorders. However, many representatives of sexual minorities are no different from heterosexual men in their way of thinking and external signs.

The list can be continued indefinitely, but it should give the basic idea of this phenomenon.

Gay Signs: Latent Homosexuality

Purely theoretically, the orientation and sexual preferences of each is a purely personal matter. No one should be concerned about such an intimate issue if everything happens between adults and by consent.

Curiosity, in this regard, can have far-reaching consequences. And we are talking not only about the deterioration of the living conditions of the “exposed”. A lover of revelations can also spoil life.

Purely theoretically, a gay loves men, a straight man loves women. This is where the differences end. That's just sexual spectrum disorders just do not arise, their "innate" has not yet been plainly proven. And this means that the gay must have had some kind of traumatic experience, and some mental instability cannot be ruled out. So first of all, one should evaluate the personality and reliability of a person, and only then ask questions of orientation.

For those who hate gays with all their hearts, there is bad news. According to Freud and the basics of introspection, the main reason for hatred is the unwillingness to admit one's own homosexual nature. Latent homosexuality is a terrible thing and difficult to diagnose.

How to tell a gay from a straight man?

Of the most obvious signs:

The guy walks with another guy around the city, holding hands and kissing. Such a spectacle can be seen in big cities, but it is still a rarity in Russia.
The young man does not pay any attention to the girls, but at the same time he constantly stares at the representatives of his gender.
Very easily converges with girls, but invariably only friends with them, without making any attempt to direct communication in a romantic direction.
Always avoids discussing personal life. From time to time, completely different stories can be told.

Perhaps only the first point gives an almost 100% guarantee of the correctness of judgments. Everything else can be explained by a dozen other reasons, it would be a fantasy. For this simple reason revealing gays is not a thankful thing at all.

How to recognize a gay in a guy?

There are just a huge number of indirect signs that may indicate that the guy is gay. But they do not give any guarantee, even a combination of several at once. But the reason to think - appears when the following signs:

Overly concerned with his own appearance. It just so happened that it is almost impossible to find a unkempt gay, they all take the issue of their own appearance too seriously.
Changing interests and priorities. A homosexual may also have brutal hobbies, but often the vector shifts towards clothing, accessories, his own body, and art.
Natural narcissism pushes gays to go to the gym. This does not mean that there are a lot of gays in the gym. But the fact that the "suspect" started to go in for fitness will not stand out from the general list of suspicions.
Excessive mannerisms. It's hard to describe in words, it's easier to see in the video below. Such habits can be explained by the inability to behave in society, but most likely it is something else.

In any case, until the person is caught red-handed, all statements will remain on your conscience. And to catch in this way is a dubious pleasure.

Here is the same video mannered gay shoe salesman:

How not to confuse gay and straight?

Sometimes an awkward mistake can occur when trying to find out the orientation of a friend:

It's easy to make a mistake, you have to understand it. But after such a statement, the life of the accused person will certainly change. Here, however, in case of an error, not for long. Because public censure will find another way out and will fall like an avalanche on the unlucky accuser.

Man is a vindictive creature, especially when he is completely "undeservedly" slandered. So the moment with a personal vendetta cannot be discounted. So more often than not, it is better to keep some conclusions to yourself and voice them only in case of emergency. Blackmail is also a completely ignoble thing, and even more than that, it is subject to jurisdiction.

How to recognize a gay in a friend?

There are a lot of troubles around, and a comrade may also be from the “other camp”. For some, this moment does not matter, and for some it is fundamentally important. In fact, drunken conversations are the best help in matters of such identification. After a certain dose of drunk alcohol, there are practically no secrets between people. If the interlocutor is not particularly talkative or there is no desire to ruin your health with a drink, you can try to guess by indirect signs:

Not interested in girls.
Most of the environment are guys. And also "suspicious".
Never talks about his personal life. Or vice versa, it is noticeable that he is lying.
He pays too much attention to his own appearance. He spends a large part of his salary on clothes and a rocking chair.
Any hint and flirting from the opposite sex is met with hostility, reacting too sharply.
Stares at the guys, in the phone and computer photos of the same sex.

All this should make you think that there might be something wrong with a person. Feeling hostility towards gays, it is better to protect yourself from such communication. Why the extra stress?

The only truly reliable way how to recognize a gay- hear his confession. Everything is like in ancient times, you can’t figure it out without confession.

Video: 5 signs a guy is gay

In this video, psychologist Miranda and her friend Mark will talk about 5 signs of a gay man, how you can accurately recognize him:

Especially if you are 100% straight.

The issue of homophobia has bothered me for many years. Being a man of fairly free views, I have never condemned anyone for what is happening in his bedroom. But still, the attitude towards gays as some kind of slightly unhealthy people did not go anywhere, which did not at all correlate with the fact that the gays I met turned out to be often more intelligent, interesting, well-mannered and stylish than their "house-builder" counterparts in member between the legs.

Having delved into the issue of gender and read a couple of books supported by scientifically proven facts, I accepted for myself that gender modifications are caused by genetic mutations and that this can only be “fixed” by breaking the psyche and life of a person. I accepted gays as they are born, calmed down and began to actively communicate with them, without regard for conventions and prejudices.

And then a miracle happened! I realized that being gay friends was the best thing that could have happened to me, other than deciding to hire a housekeeper instead of the daily dishwashing torture. My friends, it's good to be friends with gays, it's great to be friends with gays, everyone be friends with gays. And that's why.

He will teach you style. Gay understands perfectly well that you are not him. A gay does not want to get into the pants of all the men he meets, while he knows what a woman wants, including how a man should look in order to please a woman. Therefore, take your friend Stas with you for shopping.

He will solve all questions with lists, invitations, private parties, exhibitions, shows, pre-premiere shows. Gays rule cultural life - deal with it. Just ask Serezha if he has access to L8 Park.

With a gay friend at a party, you can drive up to any beautiful and inaccessible girl. After all, he has already dressed you correctly, brought you to a closed party, and now he is running to hug her, who has just arrived from Paris from the Saint Laurent show. Just don’t be an idiot, don’t tell everyone at the party about your masculinity and heterosexuality. Hug her, kiss her on the cheek, compliment her dress, laugh, have fun, joke like never before in your life. She will let you do whatever you want. It's so interesting to sleep with a gay.

Gays don't drink beer. It's personal.

If you have a girlfriend, your gay friend will love to hang out with her when you need to work, take a break from her, close her need to communicate with other men.

Gays are the best psychologists. Have you accumulated in your soul a boring sensual inexplicable something? You have no one to pour out your soul, do you want to cry from experiences? Call Costa. Get out on Landscape, buy a bottle of rose and arrange a psychotherapy session.

From gays never sweats.

Gays read books. That says it all. The most well-read, educated, creative men I've met have usually turned out to be gay. You can discuss the new Sorrentino film with them and argue about which of the Epanchin sisters is the sexiest.

And remember, only a man knows how to give maximum pleasure to a man. If you ever find yourself liking the way his stubble touches yours when kissing you on the cheek, just give him a hint.

Editorial opinion may not reflect the views of the author.

Do not miss:

According to research, sexual orientation does not depend on our will: it is impossible to "cure" homosexuality, just like getting rid of heterosexuality. You're either homo or hetero, well, or bi. With improper upbringing, when parents try to “knock out” a craving for same-sex love from a small child, his subconscious mind turns upside down. He not only begins to hate women, men, parents, but also himself.

It would seem that women should despise men who, by their nature, have chosen a different path and do not pay any attention to the opposite sex. But no, in fact, women are much more tolerant of men than men. With what it is connected, I understood WANT.ua.

What do the experts say?

According to research, the reason for women's condescending attitude towards gay men lies in the problem of testing. Many women in their entire lives have never achieved the highest sexual pleasure (this number is about 80%). For these representatives of the fair sex, sex is a dirty, painful, deceitful and indecent procedure. In order to somehow elevate men, women feign an orgasm, not considering it a deception. On the contrary, in the simulation, a woman sees politeness, a desire to please and not offend a man. And in the end, a woman who has not experienced an orgasm before is simply frightened by unfamiliar sensations. That is why many women sympathize with gays - they do not have to have sex. You can just be friends with them. There will definitely be nothing more. All. Dot.

Gay portal AfterElton.com conducted a survey among its readers "What attracts them so much in homosexuals?". Some said that they did not feel any dangerous vibes from the gays. Others cited the lack of traditional gender roles. For others, looking at two men together is just sexy (we doubt, of course, but to each his own).

Girls who not only sympathize, but fall in love with gay people are called girlfag (from the English “faggot girl”). Moreover, girlfag orientation can be any - . When falling in love with a gay, girls sometimes do not think about his orientation: he is attentive, friendly, loves to chat, gentle, neat and caring. Gays often listen to their interlocutor and smile sweetly, and the girl in her dreams has already married him and given birth to children from him. Almost all homosexuals take care of themselves - they smell good, they have neat and stylish clothes, nice hands. It attracts.

Distinguishing straight from homosexuals is not always easy. Many gay men behave like normal men, without sticking out their orientation, maybe they are more polite, more courteous and look elegant. But there are also cutesy mannered boys who carry their non-traditional sexual orientation like a flag - you can see these in comedy series and understand what's what. Some sexologists believe that the inability to distinguish a traditionally oriented man from a gay man is a sign of a woman traumatized by relationships, her bisexuality or fear of intimacy. There is some truth in this.

Some women consciously fall in love with gays and even marry them, give birth to children. So convenient. They have a wonderful life and a great family in appearance, the absence of frightening intimacy and a husband who is attentive to her and the children, but prefers to quench his thirst for love on the side with a partner of his orientation. For such women, gay men are ideal partners. They do not imagine the possibility of living with a straight man, since most of them are rude, boring, badly dressed, insufficiently attentive to hygiene, unfaithful and uninventive. No cinematic acts and crazy dances on the table for you. Straight people do not understand extravagant habits, parties until the morning, why the apartment is not cleaned, and for lunch the day before yesterday's borscht and why do you need 10 pairs of shoes. Gays will not have such questions. If necessary, they will clean the apartment themselves, prepare lunch and dinner, help you choose the perfect dress, shoes and handbag, they will not grunt and lament that you went to a party with your girlfriends, and, perhaps, will keep you company. With gays, you don't have to pretend who's in charge. You can just enjoy life, be yourself and twist other men. There will be no accusations. You just live in a high.

According to sexologists, sensitive, versatile and vulnerable natures fall in love with gays and build families with them. They can't be near "rubbish unwashed dorks." It is interesting, but indeed history knows cases (there are very, very few of them) when homosexuals radically changed their way of life and their orientation under the influence of a woman. practically does not differ from the standard. The only thing he can ask is to stimulate his prostate through the anus with the help of special toys. Many of them do not even offer anal sex - apparently they already have enough of it. Some gays themselves are not averse to hitting on pretty girls. According to studies, there are practically no absolute homosexuals - most of them are bisexual. Only now, almost everyone eventually returns to men - it's easier that way.

American psychotherapist John Belew in the article "Gay Men and Straight Women" argues that attraction between women and homosexuals is an illusion. A gay sees in a woman only a person, not a sexual object. He is not interested in her body and appearance, because of this, it may seem to a woman that a gay is infatuated with her. It can be so - as an interlocutor, a friend and an interesting and intelligent personality, a woman can easily interest a homosexual. And if sex suddenly happens - it's just mutual satisfaction, "" and nothing more. There will be no involvement of the senses. Only physical connection.

In a relationship, homosexuals themselves often turn on the game, flirt and play tricks, which they do not show with girls. Therefore, girls feel like themselves, they are calm and relaxed, they do not need to pretend and seem better. As long as a gay and a woman remember to play and have fun with each other, everything will be fine for both. As soon as each wants to avoid a normal relationship in this way, both will have problems.

By the way, on June 18, a gay pride parade will take place in Kyiv, which usually causes increased excitement.