Mistress mistakes. The main mistakes of the wife and ... mistress. Mistake number three: total control

04.03.2020

If not all, then many men cheat. What are men afraid of in such a situation? What their beloved girls or wives will learn about their infidelities and mistresses. And what will happen next if this happens? If you are a person who is cheating on his official soulmate, then it is better to know in advance about the options for the development of events that the male website will consider.

In fact, only two options are foreseen here - a woman will either leave a man or keep a relationship with him. But how these two variants of events will be carried out, there are already many versions. How many women, so many ways to leave a man or stay with him. Moreover, a man will not always understand what a woman wants from him.

It should be understood that secrets tend to become apparent over time. Either the man himself will let himself out or give himself away. Or the mistress wants to tell his wife about her presence in the life of her husband. Either friends accidentally let their wife know or hint that the husband has a mistress. Maybe the wife herself accidentally sees doves in a place where, it was supposed, she does not exist and should never be. If the secret has come true, then the man will face reproaches, tears, criticism and other unpleasant manifestations from his wife. But in the end, this will lead either to the destruction of the union, or to preservation.

Wife behaviors

What will the wife's behavior be if she finds out that her husband is cheating on her? The following options are possible here:

Conversation with his mistress. There are wives who are so desperate that they invite their husbands' mistresses to meet. What for? To talk and persuade mistresses to leave their men. Wives think that they will be able to persuade their mistresses to abandon a union that does not break at the will of mistresses. Here usually the conversation does not develop constructively. The mistress refuses the wife's offer, which ends either in a raised tone or a woman's brawl.
Threats. The wife may want to take her husband away from his mistress by resorting to threats. If the mistress is married, then the wife will threaten to reveal the secret of her rival to her husband. If the mistress can be slandered at work, then the wife will resort to this method.
Substitute. The wife can come up with a plan that will allow her to turn the situation so that her husband looks at his mistress with different eyes. The mistress must fall in his eyes so that he does not want to meet with her anymore. Here, a setup method such as a meeting of lovers, to which the mistress's husband will be invited, can also be applied.
Treason for treason. In a fit of emotions, a wife can go in search of a man with whom she will sleep and thus, as it were, avenge her betrayal. In fact, a woman will only make herself worse. If she does not want to leave her husband, then now he will want to leave her, because he certainly will not tolerate betrayal, despite the fact that he himself resorts to them. Moreover, a woman will sleep with a man who simply uses her, and her husband enjoys in bed with his mistress.
Pregnancy. Younger girls or women of immature mind try to keep their husbands by giving birth to children. However, in the end, they only do worse to their children. Husbands may not leave families where children will appear, however, they will not stop walking either. And there are men who are not stopped by anything. As a result, a woman is left with a child in her arms and alone, when her ex-husband builds his life and only financially helps in raising a baby.

It should be understood that the options considered lead to one woman's desire - to save the family. If a woman tries to talk with her mistress, return her husband, substitute the doves, again draw attention to herself, then all this suggests that she is not ready to part with her husband. Unfortunately, this ultimately leads to the fact that the husband begins to cheat again, although at first, while his wife did not know anything, he was afraid that she would leave him because of this. But since she does not leave him, the man relaxes and begins to walk in full.

Smart tactics for wives

The following tactics for wives' behavior are beneficial for both women and men. It doesn't matter if they are aimed at maintaining the relationship or destroying it, but the woman shows wisdom to some extent.

Self improvement.

Since the fact that she no longer attracts him and even annoys him with something, the woman begins to understand herself. She can do this in order to attract her husband to her again, or she can leave him and just engage in self-development. Why is this good? The fact that a woman corrects those mistakes that prompted her husband to cheat on her.

The woman takes off her robe, begins to paint, goes in for sports to get in shape. In other words, she becomes feminine, beautiful, sexy again. If at the same time she kept the family, then the husband begins to look at her again. He realizes that his wife continues to be a beautiful woman. If a woman divorced her husband, then he may generally go crazy from the fact that now his ex has become more beautiful than she was while she was considered his wife. Now a man can regret losing such a beautiful woman with whom he is already used to living.

Forgiveness and Forgiveness.

This tactic not only allows you to free yourself from the burden of male infidelity, but also grow so much in the eyes of your ex that he again wants to return his wife. The tactic is that the wife forgives her husband for the actions that he has committed, gives him freedom and lets him go to all four sides. And she herself leaves without quarrels and scandals.

A man in such a situation is not left with a sense of guilt. He received forgiveness and understands that they do not hold a grudge against him. At the same time, his wife lets him go. Having enjoyed freedom, loneliness and all the desires that he could not realize in family life, the husband begins to get bored. He again wants a woman nearby who, even in such a difficult situation as her husband's betrayal, was able to show understanding to him. Often husbands in such a situation part with their mistresses, who are no better than their wives.

Friendship of rivals.

Rarely, but it happens that a wife meets her husband's mistress and even begins to be friends with her. They find common topics of conversation, turn out to be best friends. In such a situation, a man either simply becomes unable to sleep with two women at once, who should be in conflict with each other, or still steps over himself and begins to live in a love triangle that suits everyone.

If the mystery is revealed

Every man would like his wife to treat his adultery calmly and with wonderful wisdom. However, you should not delude yourself, since there are very few ladies who are able to make friends with your mistresses or quietly part. Often, the news of her husband's infidelity is not very calm. What should a husband do in such a situation?

It doesn't matter what the wife found out about her husband's betrayal, the main thing here is how the man behaves in this case. Many mistakes are made by men themselves, which further exacerbate the state of affairs. If you want to break up with your wife, then start screaming and accusing her of cheating. Not only did you betray your wife, but you also made her guilty of your act. Your wife will see you as an irresponsible person, from whom you definitely need to leave both with and without shouts.

If you want to keep your family together, then it is better to stay calm and not renounce your betrayals. Take the blame for what happened. In principle, this is so: it is your fault that you found a mistress, began to meet with her and sleep. Be responsible, speak the truth, and accept that you did something very nasty. Keep calm while doing this. And why should you worry, because the worst thing has already happened - the wife found out about everything.

Do not lie to your woman, they say, she is mistaken, it was not you who corresponded with your mistress, your friends lied to everything. If your cheating is obvious, then you will not only make yourself a cheater, but also a liar.

You should be careful if a woman:

Hysterical. You should be prepared for the fact that the woman will yell at you and even threaten you. Of course, do not give in to threats, and do not provoke them. Indeed, under the influence of emotions, a woman can do the irreparable.
Closed. If, at the same time, her state is calm, then this may indicate that she wants to part with you. If a woman is restless at the same time, then you should look after her. Often, women are so shocked by the betrayal of their husbands that they even think about suicide.

What's next?

What will happen next after you confessed or your wife found out about your infidelity, after you had a quarrel or talked to sort out the relationship, already depends on the wife herself. Many factors will influence its decision. She will be subject to her own emotions and desires. Her opinion can be influenced by other people and public opinion in general. She will also consider how she found out about your cheating and how you behaved when she tried to find out the whole truth.

A man needs to be patient. In this case, you should not be too intrusive. However, you should not completely disappear from a woman's life if you still want to get your wife back. If you intend to stay with your mistress or are ready to accept any outcome of events, then it is better to leave your wife alone until she decides for herself whether to stay with you or not.

The wife can either leave or stay. This is influenced by many factors. The behavior of a woman is also different after she learns about the betrayal of her faithful.

Outcome

Treason will be unpleasant news for absolutely any person. A man must imagine how he would feel if he learned about the betrayal of his wife. You should not blame your wife and rush her to decisions, otherwise you may come across the opposite of the desired result. At the same time, it is important to behave calmly and responsibly. If you are caught cheating, then admit it.

you are, it is better not to make the mistakes below.

Mistake number one: hysteria

If you are a wife... Tears, of course, release the stress hormone. And the picture tears flowing from the corners of the eyes make a woman helpless, fragile, and a feeling of guilt of unprecedented strength arises in a man's soul. But let's be objective: our women don't know how to cry beautifully yet. Or they can, but only on screens. In reality, there are whistling sobs, tears in a stream, throat wheezing, red nose, puffy eyes, broken dishes, shaking a child and a frying pan - and a husband who understands that it is better to run away from here. And as soon as possible.

If you really want to cry, practice letting the aforementioned picture tears. And God forbid you, even from a hint of hysteria! Hysterical, most likely, he ate to capacity at home. And if they cry there and break the dishes, here they cry and, at best, just cry, without damaging property, then where can he go? What if, again, they don't cry there at all? Then your tears will not even have time to dry, as your beloved will rush to seek peace and quiet under the wing of a spouse who has suddenly overgrown with dignity.

Mistake number two: feeling guilty

If you are a wife... Yes, he is to blame. I'll tell you more - he knows it and he has to live with it all his life. Moreover, if he is a sane person, then he assesses the degree of his guilt adequately, and for the spoiled three years of his life he will not rush to buy a mansion in the suburbs. Agree on reasonable moral and financial compensation. For myself, for children. If he has problems with an adequate worldview, pedaling guilt can, of course, become a restraining factor, but only from a normal man your spouse will turn into a hunted being with a feeling of acute mental disorder against the background of a constantly exacerbating feeling of guilt. In the end, he confesses to organizing a conspiracy, Kennedy's assassination, and until the end of your days you will carry him parcels to the neurosis clinic.

If you are a lover... The degree of his guilt is no greater than yours. Of course, if you went to a relationship with an unfree person with open eyes. He hardly managed to do something so badly in front of you. And when trying to evoke this not a wonderful feeling in him, he can think. By the way, the opposite effect is possible. The more you try to arouse in him a feeling of guilt in front of you for some not worthy of attention, the more the feeling of guilt in front of the abandoned family will be activated in him. “Yeah,” the man will think, “here they are blamed for a diamond of the wrong size, but there they spent their entire student youth in tattered shoes and did not make a single sound.” And if the wife is a competent manipulator, then instead of accusing him of something, she will begin to actively pity him. You too. And him with you. Do you already guess who he will choose?

Mistake number three: total control

Wife and mistress... Sniffing, rummaging, continuous monitoring of the phone, computer, pockets, neighbors, friends ... the list of female mistakes is endless. A person who is deprived of personal space sooner or later comes to a reasonable conclusion to eliminate the cause of violation of his personal boundaries. Phone and mail are still very intimate things. And a man working in the environment of more than one woman can smell like someone else's perfume for completely innocent reasons. Yes and
what exactly do you hope to find there? It is worth remembering that who is looking for - he will always find, and think if you really want it.

Mistake number four: shaking the baby

If you are a wife... A child is not a bargaining chip. And under no circumstances should it become an instrument of manipulation. Psychologists all over the world unanimously assert: a child who has become the reason that two people are forced to live together, growing up, acquires numerous complexes, and his childhood is far from happy. Better a loving set of separated parents than living in a constantly heated atmosphere.

If you are a lover... Not a single child in the world has restrained a single man - our mothers love to repeat this phrase. Learn it by heart. And look at the recommendations for the wife, they apply to you too.

So, the man (who, as we know, is polygamous by nature) has a mistress. Let's not take into account the moral and ethical side of the problem now, we already understand that it is not good to change, that lovers are equated with outcasts, and a man who has sinned is branded with all terrible words. We abstract from the common and hackneyed point of view of the situation and look at it from a different angle. Let's swap some words. Instead of "got a mistress", for example, we put "met my true love." Yeah, you ask. Consequently, before that, he lived for five-ten-fifteen years with artificial love? Also wrong. Love, as we know, rarely chooses according to social and civil status. Errarum humanum est, or, in a simple, popular way, a person is sometimes mistaken. This is characteristic of him. Have you ever noticed that modern society is somehow more tolerant of a woman who has a lover? Like, Kolka the goat took her out, and found an outlet. For some reason, “getting out” by the “goat-Manka” is not equated to the category of extenuating circumstances, and Kolka remains a goat in any case.

Like in war

In general, the situation. The husband met with great love. This is an option in which the wife, sooner or later, is guaranteed to find out about the presence of a rival. If a simple hike "to the left" for health and diversity still has a chance to remain a secret, then a big and bright feeling bursting with a man from the inside will sooner or later come out. And then the fun begins. There are few women who, in this situation, are able to show nobility and go to an amicable expense - divide up property, explain to children that dad loves them, but will live in a different place, maintain good relations with their ex and congratulate each other on holidays. The first reaction of any offended woman is an immediate desire to declare war.

On the other side of the barricades is the mistress. Or, more precisely, that very Big Love of his whole life. And she loves too. Phrases about "happiness in someone else's garden", "on other people's bones" and in other dubious places and on strange foundations have already frankly sore teeth. Everything, everything absolutely happens in this life. We do not make excuses for mistresses, but let's at least be as fair and objective as possible: there is a situation and something needs to be done with it. There - a wife on the warpath, here - a newly-minted beloved in confusion and confused feelings: how did this make her so happy? In the center - the hero of the occasion, who, on good, should be given freedom and a slap on the head, and instead of this serious battles will begin now.

Mistake number one

Hysterics

Wife. Tears, of course, release the stress hormone. And the picture tears flowing from the corners of the eyes make a woman helpless, fragile, and a feeling of guilt of unprecedented strength arises in a man's soul, but let us be objective: our women do not yet know how to cry beautifully. Or they can, but only on screens. In reality, there are whistling sobs, stream tears, throat rales, red nose, puffy eyes, broken dishes, shaking a child and a frying pan - and a husband who understands that it is better to run away from here, and as soon as possible.

Mistress. It's too early for you to be hysterical. You knew what you were doing. If you really want to cry, practice letting the aforementioned picture tears. God forbid you, even from a hint of hysteria. Hysterical, most likely, he ate to capacity at home. And if they cry there and break the dishes, here they cry and, at best, just cry, without damaging property, then where can he go? What if, again, they don't cry there at all? Then your tears will not even have time to dry, as the amant will rush to seek peace and quiet under the wing of a spouse who has suddenly overgrown with dignity.

Mistake number two

Guilt

Wife. Yes, he is to blame. I'll tell you more - he knows it and he will live with it all his life. Moreover, if he is a sane person, then the degree of his guilt is assessed adequately, and for the “spoiled” three years of his life he will not rush to build a mansion on Rublevka. Agree on reasonable moral and financial compensation. For myself, for children. If he has problems with an adequate worldview, pedaling guilt can, of course, become a restraining factor, but only from a normal man your spouse will turn into a hunted being with a feeling of acute mental disorder against the background of a constantly exacerbating sense of guilt. In the end, he confesses to organizing a Zhidomasson conspiracy, the assassination of Kennedy, and you will carry him parcels to the neurosis clinic for the rest of your days.

Mistress. His guilt is no greater than yours. Of course, if you went to a relationship with an unfree person with open eyes. He has hardly managed to do something so badly in front of you. And when trying to evoke this not a wonderful feeling in him, he can think. By the way, the opposite effect is possible. The more you try to arouse in him a feeling of guilt in front of you for some not worthy of attention, the more the feeling of guilt in front of the abandoned family will be activated in him. “Yeah,” the man will think, “here they are blamed for a diamond of the wrong size, but there they spent their entire student youth in tattered shoes and did not make a single sound.” And if the wife is a competent manipulator, then instead of accusing him of something, she will begin to actively pity him. And you. And him along with you. Do you already guess what will follow next?

Mistake number three

Total control

Wife and mistress. Sniffing, rummaging, continuous monitoring of the phone, computer, pockets, neighbors, friends ... the list of women's mistakes is endless. A person who is deprived of personal space sooner or later comes to a reasonable conclusion to eliminate the cause of violation of his personal boundaries. Phone and mail are still very intimate things. And a man working in the environment of more than one woman can smell like someone else's perfume for completely innocent reasons. And what exactly do you hope to find there? It is worth remembering that who is looking for - he will always find, and think if you really want it.

Mistake number four

Shaking baby

Wife. A child is not a bargaining chip. And under no circumstances should it become an instrument of manipulation. Psychologists all over the world unanimously assert: a child who has become the reason that two people are forced to live together, growing up, acquires numerous complexes, and his childhood is far from happy. Better a loving set of separated parents than living in a constantly heated atmosphere

Mistress. Not a single child in the world has restrained a single man - our mothers love to repeat this phrase. Learn by heart. And look at the recommendations for the wife, they apply to you too.

A mistress is a very common "position". Being a lover is not as easy as it seems. Common mistress mistakes often prevent women from getting what they want from a man.

The main rule of a mistress (namely a mistress, not a woman who pretends to take the place of his wife over time) is that she should always be a holiday, not be imposed on a man.

A common mistake is a hysterical lover

Mistresses, of course, unlike wives, are rarely hysterical, because they know in advance what they are doing. But if it is already impossible to hold back the tears, then you need to learn how to do it beautifully, like in the movies. Married men hate their mistresses' tantrums. Most likely, he endured women's tears at home. And if tears are shedding everywhere, then he has no place to go. And if at home he is not tripled with hysterics, then the hysterical mistress will generally cause a feeling of disgust. And it turns out that the beloved man will hurry to rush into the arms of his quiet and calm, balanced wife as soon as possible.

A common mistress mistake is to make a man feel guilty.

Making a man feel guilty is a very ineffective mistress trick. His fault is no more than that of his mistress. A woman who is a mistress deliberately began a relationship with a man, knowing that he was married. Before his mistress, the man was hardly guilty of anything. Meanwhile, the mistress herself, urging a man to accept his guilt, pushes him to the fact that guilt begins to wake up in him in front of his wife. And in such a situation, provided that the wife understands male psychology and knows how to manipulate her husband, she will drag him to her side with her compassion and understanding.

A common mistress mistake is the desire to control a man in everything.

The mistress, making attempts to control her man at every step, constantly checks him, examines his phone, watches e-mail, calls his friends and in all other ways does not allow the man to breathe calmly. We must always remember that if a person is infringing on his personal space, one way or another concludes that it is worth eliminating the factor limiting his freedom. And all lovers should remember the saying "who seeks, he will always find." Does she need it. Okay, another wife, who has the legal right to convict her husband of treason, but no one gave such a right to her mistress. As a result, the man will simply turn around and find himself another, not so capricious and jealous woman.

A common mistress mistake is trying to keep a man as a child.

A long-known truth is dedicated to all lovers who are trying or are going to force a man to leave his family with the help of pregnancy: not a single man in the world has ever been able to force a child to stay. This statement has been tested over the years, and it works for both mistresses and wives.

The most widespread trio in the world inevitably - wife-husband-lover - sometimes easily and naturally turns into a duet. Who stays in it depends on how many mistakes the other side makes.

Extenuating circumstances

Yeah, you ask. - Consequently, before that, he lived for five-ten-fifteen years with artificial love? - Also wrong. Love, as we know, rarely chooses according to social and civil status. Errarum humanum est, or, in a simple, popular way, a person is sometimes mistaken. This is characteristic of him. Have you ever noticed that modern society is somehow more tolerant of a woman who has a lover? Like, Kolka the goat took her out, and found an outlet. For some reason, “getting out” by the “goat-Manka” is not equated to the category of extenuating circumstances, and Kolka remains a goat in any case.

Like in war

Mistake number one: hysteria

Wife. Tears, of course, release the stress hormone. And tears flowing picturesquely from the corners of her eyes make a woman helpless, fragile, and a feeling of guilt of unprecedented strength arises in a man's soul, but let's be objective: our women do not yet know how to cry beautifully. Or they can, but only on screens. In reality, there are whistling sobs, stream tears, throat rales, red nose, puffy eyes, broken dishes, shaking a child and a frying pan - and a husband who understands that it is better to run away from here, and as soon as possible.

Mistress. It's too early for you to be hysterical. You knew what you were doing. If you really want to cry, practice letting the aforementioned picture tears. God forbid you, even from a hint of hysteria. Hysterical, most likely, he ate to capacity at home. And if they cry there and break the dishes, here they cry and, at best, just cry, without damaging property, then where can he go? What if, again, they don't cry there at all? Then your tears will not even have time to dry, as the amant will rush to seek peace and quiet under the wing of a spouse who has suddenly overgrown with dignity.

Mistake number two: feeling guilty

Wife. Yes, he is to blame. I'll tell you more - he knows it and he will live with it all his life. Moreover, if he is a sane person, then he adequately assesses the degree of his guilt, and for the “spoiled” three years of his life he will not rush to build a mansion. Agree on reasonable moral and financial compensation. For myself, for children. If he has problems with an adequate worldview, pedaling guilt can, of course, become a restraining factor, but only from a normal man your spouse will turn into a hunted being with a feeling of acute mental disorder against the background of a constantly exacerbating sense of guilt. In the end, he confesses to organizing a Jewish-Masonic conspiracy, the assassination of Kennedy, and you will carry him parcels to the neurosis clinic for the rest of your days.

Mistress. His guilt is no greater than yours. Of course, if you went to a relationship with an unfree person with open eyes. He has hardly managed to do something so badly in front of you. And when trying to evoke this not a wonderful feeling in him, he can think. By the way, the opposite effect is possible. The more you try to arouse in him a feeling of guilt in front of you for some not worthy of attention, the more the feeling of guilt in front of the abandoned family will be activated in him. “Yeah,” the man will think, “here they are blamed for a diamond of the wrong size, but there they spent their entire student youth in tattered shoes and did not make a single sound.” And if the wife is a competent manipulator, then instead of accusing him of something, she will begin to actively pity him. And you. And him along with you. Do you already guess what will follow next?

Mistake number three: total control

Wife and mistress. Sniffing, rummaging, continuous monitoring of the phone, computer, pockets, neighbors, friends ... the list of women's mistakes is endless. A person who is deprived of personal space sooner or later comes to a reasonable conclusion to eliminate the cause of violation of his personal boundaries. Phone and mail are still very intimate things. And a man working in the environment of more than one woman can smell like someone else's perfume for completely innocent reasons. And what exactly do you hope to find there? It is worth remembering that who is looking for - he will always find, and think if you really want it.

Mistake number four: shaking the baby

Wife. A child is not a bargaining chip. And under no circumstances should it become an instrument of manipulation. Psychologists all over the world unanimously assert: a child who has become the reason that two people are forced to live together, growing up, acquires numerous complexes, and his childhood is far from happy. Better a loving set of separated parents than living in a constantly heated atmosphere

Mistress. Not a single child in the world has restrained a single man - our mothers love to repeat this phrase. Learn by heart. And look at the recommendations for the wife, they apply to you too.

In conclusion, we wish you to live so that triangles simply have no place in your life.