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The important role of the family in shaping the personality of the child. Study of parental influence on the formation of a child's personality

The family has the most significant influence on the upbringing of the personality, since the child receives the basic information about the world and about himself from his parents. In addition, parents have a unique opportunity to influence the child due to physical, emotional and social dependence on them.

The family is a small (primary) group that consists of persons connected by two types of relationships: marriage and kinship, which provides a person with emotional stability, security and personal growth.

The family has a number of functions that can be divided into institutional and basic. Institutional functions are impersonal. These include:

Reproduction function;

Primary social and sexual control;

Economic support for children;

Support for the disabled;

Protecting the rights of the child to full development.

Basic functions are aimed at ensuring that a person satisfies his personal needs in the family. These include:

Satisfaction of the need for love;

The function of emotional support and personality development;

The function of self-affirmation, self-realization, personal growth;

Family psychotherapeutic function;

The function of social responsibility for each family member;

The function of forming positive relationships;

The function of forming a cultural community.

The modern family has lost many of the functions that cemented it in the past: production, protective, educational, etc. The following functions have now gained greater importance: psychological safety, emotional satisfaction of all family members and preparing children for life in society. Their realization presupposes the maturity of feelings and psychological culture.

Highly integrated family differs in that its members are well aware of the individual psychological characteristics of each other and have large reserves of influence on each other; it is characterized by a high level of development of mutual assistance, and its members have well-developed "pro-family" motives; the family has good contact and interaction with the social environment. Such a family is also called a close-knit family. Close-knit family has the following features: trust, sympathy, care of all members for each other are the simplest and most natural way to satisfy their own needs. Among the characteristics inherent in mature families are high self-esteem, direct, clear and honest communication, flexible and humane rules of behavior. In such a family, its members are focused on intellectual and personal growth, its social attitudes are positive and open.

The appearance of a child in a family is a serious test for parents. Mastering and shaping the role of a father or mother is the most important task of personal development in the period of growing up and testing the strength of family relationships.

A woman's assimilation of the role of a mother is complicated by the fact that it is during this period that the tasks of professional growth and career are set. Awareness of their capabilities and priorities can contribute to a more favorable experience of conflict between these aspects of a woman's life. A woman can be influenced by parental attitudes. Among the typical attitudes that the expectant mother learns from her parents, V.K. Loseva highlights the following:

"Before you have children, you need to be on your feet financially and professionally." Cultivating this attitude allows parents to prolong their daughter's sense of their own immaturity and unfulfillment. The daughter feels dependent on her parents for a long time.

"Having a baby brings a lot of trouble and excitement." Parents form in their daughter the idea that the mother's role is primarily associated with difficulties and does not bring joy. Thus, a negative perception of the mother's role is formed.

"You are still a child yourself." This attitude is associated with the desire of the parents to demonstrate their superiority over their daughter.

"You are an egoist, and a mother should sacrifice everything for the sake of her children." The hidden meaning of this attitude is that the mother must completely abandon her desires.

Preparing for motherhood is not about following the often unrealistic requirements of parents, but about rethinking your life experience, realizing the feelings that arise during preparation for motherhood.

The social role of the father is difficult because its obviousness creates many pitfalls in its development. G.S. Abramova highlights some of them:

The trap of a simple goal is the refusal to realize the existential goal in the role of a father (“I feed, I sing, I dress, what else do I need?”);

The trap of expected obligation (“I am your father, therefore you must love and respect me”);

The trap of normality or "everything is like people" - refusal to understand and accept the uniqueness of your life and the lives of your family members;

The trap of the righteousness of force or "there is no trick against scrap" -orientation on the use of force to resolve conflicts associated with the demonstration of force;

The trap of age (“I’m still young, I want to take a walk”, “He’s still a child, let my mother mess with him”);

The gift trap ("I buy him whatever he wants") - ignoring personal communication;

The trap of gender superiority is the rejection of other, different from male, ways of solving life's problems;

The trap of the social value of gender (“Anyone can pick me up”, “A man is needed everywhere”) leads to a rejection of deep feelings;

Clarifying the attitudes and expectations of young parents regarding the role of mother and father is one of the tasks of a psychologist in providing psychological support to a family.

R. Khomentauskas believes that the following points should be taken into account when raising children in a family:

A child is not just a product of the educational influences of parents. He is active, he himself comprehends the family and himself in it, determines his behavior, attitude towards the family and towards himself. To a certain extent, the child is the educator of himself;

Children, due to their limited experience, peculiar thinking differently than adults, perceive and evaluate what is happening around. You can understand their behavior, emotions, experiences and help them only by looking at the world through their eyes;

Children are influenced not only by the intentional influences of the parents, but even more so by all the features of the behavior of the parents, including those that are not realized by either the adults or the child.

Psychological criteria by which one can judge the psychological well-being of a child in a family:

- a pronounced experience of pleasure from communicating with loved ones;

Feeling of freedom, autonomy when communicating with parents;

Self-confidence and self-sufficiency;

The ability to see your own shortcomings and the ability to ask for help from others;

The ability to see your mistake as if from the outside and not associate your personality with it.

Parents have a significant impact on the formation of the child's personality from the moment the baby is born.

It is difficult to say to what extent it will subsequently be possible to correct the first impressions that the newborn will have when meeting with the images of the father and mother. It is difficult to overestimate the role of parents in the formation of the child's personality - these people are directly involved in the upbringing of a new person.

But no matter how great the role of parents in a child's life, there are other adults who can interfere in the process of becoming. In this article, we will talk about how parents influence the formation of the child's personality, how this process can be improved.

When a child is born, he does not know anything about the world around him - initially he is limited to the family for the baby. Further development, future perception depends on the attitude of the parents.

The connection between mom: how he perceives her

Each child perceives their parents differently. The closest person to a baby is his mother. The natural bond between mom and baby can be very strong and last for decades. The baby is able to recognize her among other women if the mother takes him in her arms. But how can such a small creature tell the difference between a mother? Firstly, the child recognizes her heart rate, and secondly, the smell, external signs are not yet interested in him. Up to 2 years of age, babies have a fairly strong psychological and physical connection with their mother. This attachment arises from the fact that she initially gives him food (breast milk). Therefore, the child is so sensitive to her psychological and physical condition. He perceives his mother as the only means for his existence.

Until the final formation of the baby's personality, the mother will be the most significant person for him, because she not only feeds him, but is also a reliable protection from the dangers surrounding him. Even behavioral traits are adopted by most children from their mother, considering themselves to be one with her. The bond between mom and baby can be maintained even at a certain distance.

Father image

Formation of the relationship "parent and child" occurs much later: acquaintance and contact with the dad is gradual. In order for the baby to recognize him as a family member, a certain time must pass, he must first get used to it. Initially, the child does not have a sense of consanguinity with the father. Basically, the fulfillment of paternal responsibilities and the formation of the image of a father begins when the baby leaves infancy, attachment to the mother weakens.

The main task of parents is to ensure that the child's need for protection and safety is met. At first, most of this task is assigned to the mother, and only over time is the father involved in it. In the future, dad, as the head of the family, should take full responsibility for the safety and protection of the baby. The formation of the child's idea of ​​the correctness of the family structure, as well as his mental development, largely depends on how he performs this duty. The child perceives the father as a support and protection from negative external circumstances.

The baby and mother should see in the father and husband reliable support and protection, feel his strength. In those families where the mother plays a dominant role, all the same, children need to position their father only from the best side, otherwise they will not be able to feel love and respect for him. Thus, their perception of family roles will be disrupted, which in later life can lead to negative consequences.

Each of the parents should make every effort so that the baby understands and feels that mom and dad love him. The phrase “I love you” is not enough, because a child, especially a small child, still cannot think in abstract concepts, he does not yet perceive the verbal formulation.

Love is the most reliable basis for the harmonious development of a personality and a happy childhood. Kids brought up in an atmosphere of parental love for each other and for him have higher self-esteem, self-confidence, grow up kind and generous.

Have you noticed what changes it has undergone the role of the father in the development of the child in modern society? In many families, the traditional way of family life has been violated, when the father is no longer the head of the family, but an addition to it. Of course, the men themselves are to blame for this, but in many ways also the mothers, who, in the process of upbringing, form in the child the wrong idea about the role of men in the family. Neither the first nor the second think about the consequences of such family relationships.

Even in antiquity, when the institution of the family was just emerging, the man was the breadwinner and head. With the passage of time, when the concept of "breadwinner" began to bear not a direct, but an indirect character, the image of a father in the perception of a child was inseparably associated with some profession, which was often passed down by kinship. Children began to take an early interest in what their father was doing, imitated him, and learned professional skills.

In spite of everything, in the subconsciousness of modern kids there is still a relationship: "father - head of the family - profession." Therefore, even if in your family mom earns more or goes to work every day, and dad works at home, try not to erase this associative array in the child’s mind. This can harm not only the child, but also the father, and in many cases the whole family, simply endangering its existence. If the child ceases to perceive the dad as the head of the family, then the very concept of "father" for him is devalued.

Dad for making money

If you focus the child's attention on the amount of money dad earns, this will lead to a deterioration in the relationship. Dad ceases to be interesting as a person, becomes an object for making money. The father acquires the function of an inanimate object. People need money to meet their needs, and the child, accordingly, also needs money. Over time, his attitude towards his father becomes simply consumerist. In today's world, adults often face this problem.

Often, the stories of parents that money is not easy to get, do not cause sympathy in children, they, on the contrary, only get irritated. It is clear that at some point parents feel upset that their children perceive them in this way. And if a mother can love her baby, then it is more difficult for a father to do it. Over time, the child's consumption attitude can lead to the fact that the family falls apart.

Perceptions of family and relationships

Some mothers themselves add fuel to the fire, not understanding the child's perception of the family, saying that since the dad does not play and does not work with the child, then the baby shows only indifference to him. Dad perceives this situation in his own way, believing that the family is not interested in him, he as a person is not needed by anyone, he accumulates resentments. If parents begin to shift the blame on each other, the result will still be the father's departure from the family. Is it worth saying again that the harmonious development of the personality in an inferior family will not work?

How can you avoid this situation? Remember that family relationships between parents create conditions of comfort or discomfort for the baby. Just try to talk to your child about his father's work more often and show respect for what he is doing (even if you don't like it). You should not focus on material benefits, tell us better about what your dad does at work. Since everything is new for the baby so far, absolutely any activity will seem interesting and important to him. Remember that even the most boring job can be presented in such a way that the child will be carried away by this topic for a long time.

More recently, it never occurred to anyone to specifically form a positive image of a father in a child; it was he who was the breadwinner in the family. Today, when the social roles of women and men do not have clear boundaries, when the mother alone is able to put the baby on her feet, the question arises of the correct formation of the father's image in the child's mind. In such a situation, much depends on the mother, the child first of all listens to the words, opinion, it is her attitude towards the father that he adopts.

But how can a mother understand what qualities need to be emphasized in order to form a positive and respectful perception of a father in a child, if she has not had such an experience before? To do this, you just need to remember what qualities are valued in the stronger sex.

In our tradition, such qualities as kindness, nobility, courage, disinterestedness, intelligence, loyalty, willingness to help others, unpretentiousness, hard work, thriftiness, etc. have always been valued.

It is quite difficult to find an ideal that would have all the listed qualities, but there are several of them in every husband, just over the years we stop noticing them. Touching upon dad's dignity in conversations, it is worth emphasizing that these are not his personal characteristics, but the qualities that real men possess. Children will form ideas, help them in their own lives.

Family education

Parents and their role in family education are very important. Moms and dads should remember that the most important thing for the full development of a personality is not how much they earn, who often plays with the child or walks with him, who buys the best gifts, but what kind of authority the parent forms from the very first days of the child's life.

How a child perceives parents determines his future fate and success in life. If the baby does not respect mom or dad, one of them sets the child against the other, then this will not bring anything good for the family and the child's character. Disrespect for the mother or father in the future will grow into disrespect for others, for his wife or husband, children.

Gender differences in behavior

When a child begins to realize the gender differences of children, to identify himself with a representative of one sex or another, his parents' perception also acquires a sexual character. This is why boys and girls see their parents differently. The difference in the behavior of children creates the conditions for the full development of the personality already in preschool age.

Girls

For them, the image of a mother is very important, when they themselves become women, in their subconsciousness the image of a little defenseless girl who wants to be close to her mother still remains.

Gender differences between boys and girls lie in the fact that maternal habits are passed on to daughters. Putting on high-heeled shoes, trying on mother's dresses and beads, a girl from an early age wants to be like her beloved mother. There is no need to fight the desire to be beautiful like mom, no need to scold her and punish her for ruining expensive lipstick or tearing her dress. On the contrary, try to support this desire of your own daughter, buy her, for example, baby cosmetics or a new dress, a beautiful headband or shoes. In the child's perception, the mother is the ideal to follow, so be it. It's better than having another sample, and not always a good one.

At first, the girls perceive their dad as something unusual and interesting, and behave coquettishly towards their father. Seeing strength, they begin to respect him. Observing how dad behaves with mom, the girl learns to build relationships with the opposite sex.

Boys

For the son, the mother plays a more modest role. The main thing that a son should learn from his mother is the correct attitude towards the opposite sex. Dad should teach the rest, using not a storytelling method, but a clear example of how a man should behave. If girls imitate mothers, then boys want to be like dad. Observing his behavior and actions, the baby subconsciously forms for himself the principles of his future behavior.

Introduction

Chapter I. Theoretical prerequisites for studying the role of the father in raising a child

1.1. Study of the influence of parents on the formation of the child's personality

1.2. Differences in the role of father and mother in raising a child

1.3. The influence of the father on the formation of the personality of the child

Chapter II. An empirical study of the relationship between child-father relationships and personality traits of adolescent students

2.1 Organization and research methods

2.2. Analysis and interpretation of research results

Conclusion

Bibliography

INTRODUCTION

Social changes in modern society, associated with the breakdown of the traditional system of sexual stratification, lead to a change in gender roles, including parental ones. Family problems, issues of family education, the influence of the family on the development of the child's personality are becoming more and more urgent. Currently, there is a large number of studies on the role of the mother, the influence of motherhood on the development of the personality of women and children. The role of the father in the development of the child, his upbringing and socialization has been little studied, although this issue is relevant and practically significant in training in the field of family psychology, as well as in the preparation of programs for psychological support of the family.

Even Z. Freud spoke about the role of the father in the development of the child, but later studies of the influence of the family on the child focused mainly on the study of the relationship between mother and child (M. Klein, J. Bowlby, etc.). However, it is the study of the father-child dyad that will make it possible to clarify many little-studied, but theoretically designated by Z. Freud, K.G. Jung, S. Bart, S. Mateichik aspects of the influence of fatherhood on the development of the child's personality. In connection with significant changes in the system of gender roles that have occurred over the past 50 years, the paternal role is undergoing serious changes, which testifies, according to Sh. Barthes, to the formation of a new gender system, to the reappraisal or clarification of paternal functions by society, and further differentiation of gender roles.



For our country, this problem is especially relevant due to historical reasons, including the peculiarities of the influence of the totalitarian state on the male role in general and the paternal role in particular.

That's why goal This work is to study the role of the father in the upbringing of the child.

This goal was specified in the following tasks:

1. Analysis of the theoretical background for studying the influence of paternity on the development of the child's personality

2. Investigation of the characteristics of the parenting of adolescents who took part in the study

3. Identification of personality traits of adolescents who took part in the study

4. Comparison of the features of the upbringing of adolescent girls and adolescent boys by fathers

5. Revealing the relationship between the characteristics of parenting and personality traits of adolescents

Hypothesis: communication with the father affects the formation of self-attitude and self-awareness of the personality of a teenager

An object research: adolescent students and their families. In total, 50 adolescents (20 girls and 30 boys) aged 15-16 took part in the study.

Item research: the relationship between fathers and adolescent students.

The work used the following methods(study and analysis of psychological and pedagogical literature on the research problem); empirical methods (questionnaires: "Teenagers about their parents", Panteleev-Stolin OSS; Projective methods: Family drawing; test: Dembo-Rubinstein method of measuring self-esteem and the level of aspirations; questionnaire); statistical criteria and methods (calculation of primary statistics, determination of percentages, Mann-Whitney U-test, Spearman's correlation coefficient).

Research base: MOU Secondary School No. 56 of the Soviet District of Chelyabinsk.

The research results are of interest to specialists working with adolescents and their families. They can serve as a basis for the preparation of theoretical and practical training courses. Based on the data obtained, an effective parenting training program can be developed.

CHAPTER I. THEORETICAL PRINCIPLES FOR STUDYING THE ROLE OF THE FATHER IN THE RAISING OF A CHILD

Study of the influence of parents on the formation of the child's personality

One of the most important and original ideas for psychology of L.S. Vygotsky's point is that the source of mental development is not within the child, but in his relationship with the adult. According to the position of L.S. Vygotsky, the social world and the surrounding adults do not confront the child and do not rebuild his nature, but are an organically necessary condition for his human development. A child cannot live and develop outside of society, he is initially included in social relations, and the younger the child, the more social he is.

There are two approaches to the study of parenting, depending on who is considered the starting point of the study - the child or the parent. The first approach, the most common, analyzes parenting in relation to the development of a child, the second examines the fulfillment of the parental role through the prism of the parent's personality, here the self-realization of the personality in parenting and other personal characteristics that somehow change with the appearance of the child are investigated.

An analysis of various studies allows us to single out two views on personality formation through the prism of child-parent interaction:

First, certain personality traits can be viewed as a result of the assimilation of the behavioral patterns demonstrated by the parents. A special role in the description of this aspect belongs to the phenomenon of identification.

Secondly, as a result of the influence of the parents, determined by the nature of their parenting style. Those. the peculiarities of upbringing create conditions that favor or prevent the formation of an adequate positive self-esteem.

When determining the role of parents in the formation of the child's personality, special attention is paid to the styles of upbringing. At the same time, the authors do not share the influence of father and mother. Therefore, this line of research can be considered both when explaining the role of the father and when explaining the role of the mother in the upbringing of the child.

The tradition of studying the styles of parental behavior (upbringing) has developed for a long time. Currently, various authors dealing with the problems of upbringing in the family identify some general types and styles of upbringing and interaction between parents and children, characteristic of a number of families. And, depending on the basis, various classifications of the types of child-parent interaction are given.

So, for example, A.S. Spivakovskaya. presents a three-term model of the factors of education. She identifies three ranges of relationships that make up the love of parents for their child: sympathy-antipathy, respect-neglect, proximity-distance. The combination of these aspects of relationships allows us to describe eight types of parental love: effective love (sympathy, respect, intimacy); detached love (sympathy, respect, but a great distance with the child); effective pity (sympathy, closeness, but lack of respect); love of the type of condescending detachment (sympathy, disrespect, large interpersonal distance); rejection (antipathy, disrespect, great interpersonal distance); contempt (antipathy, disrespect, small interpersonal distance); persecution (antipathy, respect, intimacy); rejection (antipathy, respect and great interpersonal distance).

The authors often propose classifications of inadequate, defective upbringing of a child in a family. So, for example, Dobrovich A.B. the classification is presented, in which the following types of inadequate upbringing are highlighted: "The idol of the family"; "Mom's (papa's, etc.) treasure"; "Nice"; "Sick child"; "Terrible child"; "Cinderella". But V.N. Garbuzov singled out the mistakes of parents in the upbringing of children: rejection; Oversocialization; "Anxiousness".

Despite such a variety of classifications of styles of upbringing in a family, the most studied so far is the classical one, within which authoritarian, liberal, authoritative and indifferent styles are distinguished. When describing these styles, Craig talks about the different ratio of the degree of control and warmth. It is the study of these styles that a lot of domestic and foreign studies are devoted to. The latter, in particular, allow us to draw conclusions about the influence of the style of parental education on the formation of self-esteem of a preschooler.

So, the authoritarian style of upbringing, which implies the subordination of the behavior of both the parents themselves and of the children to strict rules and norms, the categorical judgment and the lack of readiness to accept (in demands and punishment) a child, leads to the emergence of the child's confidence that he is not accepted, do not approve. And this, ultimately, leads to the conviction of its inferiority and uselessness. The children of authoritarian parents are characterized by painful shyness and social passivity. they are afraid of failure, criticism, punishment. Such children lack spontaneity, cheerfulness, strong self-confidence and empathy, they are characterized by low self-esteem.

The other extreme in raising children is the behavior of liberal parents who do not limit or direct the child's activities, leaving him to himself. This can lead to increased anxiety, self-doubt, and low success rates. In addition, a child can unconsciously seek control that is lacking for him and, largely due to this, it is quite easy to fall under the influence of dubious authorities.

An indifferent style of parenting behavior is characterized by a lack of interest in the performance of parenting functions and in the children themselves. At the same time, the parents develop a rejecting position in relation to the child, which ultimately leads to the formation of low self-esteem.

In addition to those described above, there is also an authoritative style of parenting behavior. It has the optimal combination of control and warmth. Children of such parents are excellently adapted: they are confident, have the development of self-control and effective social skills. Also, these children are distinguished by high self-esteem, in turn, high self-esteem provides a good command of the technique of social contacts, allows the individual to show their value.

So, we can state that the first three styles of parental behavior (authoritarian, liberal, indifferent) are a combination of the degree of control and the degree of warmth that is unfavorable for the child. At the same time, the authoritative style of behavior of the parents corresponds to the adequate situation of the child's upbringing and contributes to the formation of his adaptive behavior in the future, based on positive self-esteem.

In addition to the indirect influence of the styles of parental behavior (through the creation of conditions for the formation of certain personality traits), there is also a more direct influence of parents on the formation of the child's personality. The main mechanism in this case is imitation, which follows from the process of the child's identification with the parents.

In the second respect, the development of a child in an anxious family is indicative. The feeling of fear and insecurity of the parents is transmitted to the child in such a family. He becomes dependent and dependent.

Coopersmith's works are devoted to the study of the peculiarities of the influence of parental confidence on the formation of personal characteristics of children.

The behavior of the parents and their attitude are important for the development of the child, because developmental distortions occur not only in individuals separated from their mother or father in early childhood, but also in those who have experienced the influence of incorrect parental attitudes.

The sphere of communication between the child and the parents directly determines the child's attitude to himself. In the work of E.T. Sokolova pointed out the main reason for the formation of low self-esteem in preschoolers - the underdevelopment of the relationship of attachment between the mother and the child, which is later transformed into a stable rejection of the personality of one's own “I”. Children with low self-esteem experience a feeling of inferiority, as a rule, they do not realize their potencies. A typical manifestation of low self-esteem is increased anxiety: mental overstrain, which is expressed in a state of tense expectation of trouble, uncontrolled irritability, emotional instability.

Thus, in the psychological and pedagogical literature, one can find numerous evidences of the influence of parent-child relations on the upbringing of a child. However, these studies either do not distinguish between the roles of the father and the mother, or only emphasize the influence of the mother on the development of the child. Such an inharmonious study of parent-child relationships is unsatisfactory and requires highlighting the specific role that the father plays in the upbringing of the child. This problem can be solved by comparing the role of the father and mother in raising a child.

In order to consider the influence of the father on the formation of the child's personality, it should be noted that fatherhood is manifested mainly in family relationships. And it is within the framework of the family that the main functions of fatherhood are realized, communication takes place, leading to the development of both subjects of this communication - the child and the father.

"The father is the one who teaches the child how to find the way to the big world."

If the mother, according to E. Fromm's apt expression, is "this is the house from which we leave, this is nature, the ocean," then the father has weak contact with the child in the first years of his life, which cannot be compared with the mother's. " But on the other hand, the father represents another pole of human existence, where - thoughts, things created by human hands, law and order, discipline, travel and adventure. The role of the father in the mental development of the child is assessed in different ways. weakness and inadequacy of "modern fathers".

The role of the father in the family is great and much depends on the father's personal example. Now children from early childhood are exposed to the bad influence of the environment through their peers, adults, through television. It is not for nothing that the people say: "What are the parents - so are the children", "From a good root of a tree there is also a good fruit." If fathers pay as much attention to their children as is necessary for the beginning of recovery in society, then teenage delinquency, drug addiction, and vagrancy would decrease. All these troubles are from insufficient attention to children.

The traditional fatherly role was to protect and provide material support for children. Fathers were never assigned responsibilities related to the direct care and upbringing of children. These functions were considered feminine, unusual and unnecessary for men.

Humanistic and democratic changes taking place in society have significantly changed the content of the father's role in the family.

In recent decades, two most important functions of the father in raising a child have been established in modern society: the functions of social control (the father is the source of requirements, norms of behavior), the function of upbringing (encouraging the child's activity aimed at developing social competence, stimulating the child's autonomy, focusing on achieving the goal ).

And the role of the father in the formation of a reliable type of attachment, in the emotional well-being of the child, his school performance, in the development of masculine (autonomy, independence, competitiveness, focus on achievement, initiative) qualities in boys and feminine (high level of empathy, caring, ability to empathize , communication) among girls simply cannot be overestimated.

G. Craig observed that fathers who developed strong emotional bonds during preschool age are more sensitive to the changing needs and interests of their children as they grow up. Such fathers have a great influence on their children, children often listen to them, want to be like them due to the close, diverse relationships established between them.

Various authors associate the positive role of the father in the upbringing of the child's personality with the fact that:

fathers play a significant role in the formation of their child in situations when it is not clear to him how to behave at the moment;

fathers who are sensitive to the signals of the child and are more likely to become significant figures in the children's world, rather manifest themselves as effective mediators of socialization;

as the child grows older, the father becomes an important role model for him;

the father can act as an advocate for the child's success.

Domestic teachers and psychologists constantly emphasize the importance of the father in family socialization. It was noted, for example, that the father plays a special role in the upbringing of his son. The significance of the father's personality, first of all, is that for the son he represents the standard of a man. The father's behavior patterns, copied by the child, form the moral image, the ways of the boy's behavior. From his father, he adopts masculine traits, learns manhood, chivalry.

Father's love is conditional, which is the most important factor in the moral development of a child. This is due to the fact that fathers attach great importance to independence, give children the opportunity to take responsibility for their own activities, and treat their independence with greater respect than mothers.

Psychologists note that one of the most important conditions for ensuring the influence of the father on the child, on their future mutual affection, is established early communication.

For a son, a father is a model whose behavior he consciously or not consciously copies. What was adopted in early childhood often remains for life, to a large extent determining the worthy or unworthy behavior of the future man. The father helps the boy to develop truly masculine traits in himself: courage, endurance, generosity.

The love of a father for his daughter is very important for the development of her self-awareness, self-confidence, and the formation of her image of femininity. A warm and positive relationship with the father helps the daughter to be proud of her femininity, promotes acceptance of herself as a woman, easier heterosexual adaptation.

The peculiarities of the paternal role in the family and the formation of the personality of children are determined by such factors as:

1. Accessibility for the child, involvement in joint activities with him, responsibility for material support, responsibility for organizing the educational sphere of the child.

3. Caring for the child, exactingness, democracy in family relations on the part of the father influence the formation of positive self-esteem.

5. For children, the father is the primary source of information on gender relations.

Comparison of “included fathers” and “included mothers”, ie. actively involved in upbringing, made it possible to conclude that such fathers are more successful in influencing the development of the child than mothers.

Against the background of the relative study of motherhood in the literature, the father is assigned a secondary role, which comes after the mother. In particular, A.S. Spivakovskaya, says that "the educational position of the father in its formation lags somewhat behind the mother's position, since fathers begin to feel the greatest affection for the child when the children have already grown up." Akivis, in his work "Fatherly Love," notes that a loving father is often a more effective educator than a woman. "The father takes care of the children less, gives them more independence, bringing up self-discipline in the child."

Psychologists have obtained data indicating that children who grow up without a father develop their humanitarian abilities more. When comparing maternal and paternal parenting styles, it was shown that the authoritarianism of the father has a positive effect on the mental characteristics of children, while the authoritarianism of the mother is negative.

The expansion and complication of the problematic of studies of parent-child relationships and their subject-matter has proved that it is important not only the fact that a child has or does not have a father and how much time he spends with the child, but also the style of paternal behavior, where there are many more individual variations. Of course, the individual style of fatherhood depends on the properties of a particular man and his interaction with other family members.

Fathers' personality traits, such as masculinity, intelligence, emotional warmth, and responsiveness, affect child development less than the nature of the relationship these fathers have established with their children. Children who have stable, supportive, mutual and emotional relationships with their parents are psychologically more prosperous than those who do not have such relationships. Likewise, the amount of time fathers spend with their children is less important than how they spend it and how the children themselves and those who matter to them perceive and value this interaction.

The process of interaction between the family and the kindergarten should be aimed at the active involvement of parents, especially fathers, in teaching and educational, in leisure activities. Only in the process of interaction between teachers, parents, society can the problem of the development of the child's personality be successfully solved.

Raising children in a family is a reciprocal process, that is, both the father and the mother are involved in it, but perhaps to varying degrees.

Until recently, the most common was the traditional model of parenting, in which the father is the breadwinner, the personification of power and the highest disciplining authority, an example to follow and a direct mentor in extrafamily, social life. The paternal role included responsibility for raising, above all, a son. In traditional society, the labor of fathers was always in sight, which was the basis for increasing their authority. The father was the head of the family, a person who, when making important decisions, advised and supervised, because of all family members he was the most skillful, experienced, knowledgeable. This model of paternity in one form or another is still found in societies where traditional types of economic activity persist.

A new look at gender roles with the growth of feminization could not but affect the institution of fatherhood. The emergence of the modern model of paternity is associated with democratic, humanistic tendencies in society, the equality of spouses in the distribution of rights and responsibilities in the family. The father and mother in the modern family are presented as equal partners. From the point of view of American psychologists, successful parenting is characterized by active participation in the upbringing of children, interest in the child's success and frequent communication with him.

The involvement of fathers in raising children should not be compulsory. While the child is still small, the father shows the necessary care: he brings and picks up from the kindergarten, helps teachers if necessary. Father's feelings need to be developed, and for this you need to involve the dad in all the processes associated with the child. To strengthen the relationship with the child, emotional ties are needed - pride in a son or daughter, joint leisure activities, family traditions. It is advisable to start doing this even during the development of the child in the mother's belly. The child's contact with the parents occurs from the very birth. Therefore, if the father is present during childbirth, a common language will develop between him and the baby faster.

The kindergarten has a huge potential for attracting men to raising children: educators attract dads to organize excursions, equip summer playgrounds, and participate in fancy-dress parties. The minutes spent in communication with children will never be superfluous.

In addition to the traditional holiday in February, invite fathers to sports competitions, go on hikes with preschoolers, and talk about their professions.

Working together is the easiest way to get closer. The more often the father and the child are busy with common affairs, the faster they will understand each other, the closer their mutual affection will become.

Many fathers think that to educate means to make comments, prohibit, punish, and this is what they see as their parenting function. As a result, by the age of 4-5 years, the child develops an idea of ​​the father as a person who expects from him "wrong", "bad" behavior (in contrast to the mother), evaluates him low - not only this or that specific act, but also his personality as a whole. In the future, this idea spreads to other people - the child becomes insecure, expects negative assessments of his abilities and skills from those around him.

An effective parent acts as a counselor to her child in all matters. In addition, he is the "architect" of the environment. The mother and father should be available for the baby to explain to him an unfamiliar phenomenon, to name a new object or new subjective experience, to praise for research, a successful action. It is also important to set boundaries for safe activities and help your toddler adjust to social demands. At the same time, it is necessary to create an environment that stimulates and supports the cognitive and physical development of the child, encouraging him to independently explore the world around him. This behavior of parents will contribute to the favorable mental and emotional development of children.

Thus, to involve fathers in the upbringing of children means to involve them in the process of joint activities, and also involvement is characterized by active participation in the upbringing of children, interest in the child's success and frequent communication with him.

Thus, the father for the child is not just a native person, but an example of a man, a symbol of masculinity, masculinity. The role of the father represents a specific example of behavior, a source of confidence and authority. The father's authoritarianism has a positive effect on the mental characteristics of children, while the mother's authoritarianism is negative.

INFLUENCE OF PARENTS ON THE PERSONALITY OF THE CHILD

For a child. There is a deep connection

Generations. The child is one of the links

A chain stretching for centuries, and breaking it -

The gravest tragedy that is inevitable

Leads to the disintegration of moral principles "

V. A. Sukhomlinsky

Voluntary or involuntary educators of a small child are all adults who surround a child in early childhood. But the closest people are members of his family, who influence his habits and character.

For his healthy and normal development, a baby absolutely needs a mother's patient affection, tenderness, attention, love. The child calmly and joyfully falls asleep to the tender, kind lullaby. During illness, the medicine in mother's hands does not seem so bitter.

The behavior of a young son is most often a mirror image of the father's behavior. Being a dad is a serious and extremely responsible business. An intelligent father intelligently uses his authority with his children. Respecting the people around him, he respects his son and daughter. Will never offend their human dignity. Will not raise their voices on them. It is very useful for a boy when, in addition to common everyday household chores and responsibilities, he has a common hobby with his dad. Each joint undertaking gradually and naturally teaches the little son to work, to a sense of his own involvement in the big adult world of people.

If a boy sees that his dad always gives way to women in public transport, the son will very soon begin to behave in the same way. If the child sees how the dad behaves with restraint and educatedness, the son will also restrain his emotions. When the baby sees how carefully and affectionately dad treats mom and grandmother, how he tries to help them in endless "female" worries, the kid also tries to be like dad.

Dad's influence on his daughter is great. Dad remains a model of male behavior for his daughter for many years. But the role of the mother in the upbringing of the girl is infinitely great. Girls, in their attitude to home and family, in their habits and tastes, are first of all equal to their own mother. Therefore, in a family where a daughter is brought up, a mother should be a demanding person to herself. It is the mother who should teach the little girl to the responsibilities of the house. Mother and daughter should have their own "women's" affairs in the family.

We must raise children to be kind, smart, healthy and happy. The life of a parent-educator is filled with work and happiness. The happiness of the creator, who creates the most precious thing on Earth - the souls of children. Today's parent must constantly educate himself. To educate a hardworking, patient, loving, humane person in oneself. He must improve his knowledge and culture. Therefore, it is necessary to equip parents with the appropriate knowledge and skills.


On the subject: methodological developments, presentations and notes

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