What helps to understand our children. Do we always understand our children? Generation next: Teflon children

20.09.2019

Mother's love is a sacred feeling. In all nations, offending a mother, raising a hand against her is a taboo. Maternal love is given to every person from birth, this is what protects us all our lives, even if mom is no longer around. But love must be wise, otherwise it can cripple.

Relationships in the family: maternal role

Mom is the main person in the life of each of us. It opens the world to us, teaches kindness, gentleness. It seems to us that mother was and will always be, she is immortal. And only after her departure, we realize that she was not eternal ... We understand that we did not have time to tell her much. This feeling is experienced by every person, it is a part of our life.

A woman carries a child and gives birth to him. For nine months they are one. A child is a real part of her body and soul, so an eternal inseparable connection arises between them. Even if the children go far to the ends of the world or for some reason forget their mother, this bond will still remain, it is indestructible.

The mother loves the child disinterestedly, she is ready to give everything to him. The only satisfaction for her is his health, happiness and contentment with life.

Mom gives each of us a model of female behavior in society and teaches us about family relationships. These models are important for both daughters and sons, who, growing up, often choose women who look like mothers as wives, even if they themselves do not realize it.

A mother is attached to her child. Mother's love is a manifestation of the instinct given to a woman by nature. They say that the umbilical cord never disappears (although it is cut at the birth of a baby). Indeed, a mother feels her child even at a distance, she knows with her heart if something happens to him. She is like a radar connected with a child, wherever it is.

Maternal mistakes

Sometimes we see that a mother's love can be immense and uncritical. How not to overdo it, how not to cross the line when it can be harmful? After all, if love will be blind, it can cripple the child, and in some cases even make him a moral invalid.

Overprotection is a serious problem in raising children. In this case, the mother almost suffocates the child with her constant and vigilant care. Because of this, the child loses his own initiative. The reason is that the mother feels danger everywhere, she is overwhelmed with phobias, therefore, showing such overprotectiveness, she, in fact, tries to protect herself, not realizing that this causes great harm to the child.

By her overprotectiveness, a mother can make her child unfit for life. While the child is small, it is not so noticeable. And when he grows up and becomes an adult, then the problems begin. From such children, sissies and daughters grow up, unable to arrange their own fate, become independent and happy.

Some women say: “It’s easier for me to allow the child what he wants than to waste time on educational efforts, to explain something to him.” But years will pass, and such connivance can go sideways.

You need to be able to say "no" to your child. Eastern teachings say: “If you see that the son is doing wrong, tell him about it. If necessary, order. By this you express your love and do him less harm than if you allow bad habits to take root. Wise words!

But there are also opposite cases: when a mother brings up a child too strictly, applying all sorts of prohibitions. Perhaps she is afraid to raise a selfish, licentious person, so she overdoes it with prohibitions. But excessive severity and rigidity is also the wrong way of education. A child needs unconditional love, he needs maternal understanding, protection.

The manifestations of mother's love must be reasonable. Here it is necessary to find a middle way between permissiveness and excessive severity. It is a mistake to follow a once-for-all pattern of behavior. We must be flexible and listen not only to the mind, but also to the heart. If you can find the right path between extremes, you can raise a good person in which the mind and heart will be balanced.

The best way to build relationships in the family is a joint activity. Encourage your child to help with household chores, taking care of younger children, pets. Do not just instruct him to “do this, do that”, but do things together, then these will be minutes not only of joint work, but also of communication.

When the child grows up

Adolescence is a very difficult time in a child's life. Here the mother must call upon all her patience and wisdom to help. It is necessary to go through this period carefully and carefully: to be strict, but also kind, demanding, but also soft. If you leave the child to himself or, conversely, put too much pressure on him, you can wait for trouble. The child should know: no matter what happens, he can always come to his mother, she will understand and protect him.

Well, when a child becomes an adult, it is necessary to get rid of the role of a mentor and teacher in time and take on the role of a tactful friend. It is necessary to delicately step aside and let your child live its own life. Do not interfere with advice, refrain from expressing your assessments and generally get away from the annoying presence in his life. This will be the manifestation of the love of a mother and a wise woman.

And further. In no case should you try to manipulate the feelings of the child, as some mothers do. Just a little, they say that they feel bad, pretend to have a heart attack (sometimes they themselves believe in this). Sometimes they even say: "If you do this and that, I will die." This is the real blackmail. It causes the only desire: to run away from the blackmailer and break up with him. relations forever and ever. Avoid such manipulations. Let the children live their lives, then they will appreciate you.

Signs of love that a mother feels for a child are very important. Show them more often, do not skimp on them.

Lots of signs of love. Firstly, it is tactile sensations, affection. Everyone understands them, starting from the first day of life. Touch the child, stroke it, hold it close to you, warm it with your warmth. All this can be done without words. These signs are clear to all people without exception. For example, with the help of touches, you can make peace after a quarrel, they act better than words, which may even be superfluous.

Further, signs of mother's love are care, attention. For example, help with homework, folded clean clothes, a cooked lunch, a meeting after school, attention to the child's stories about what happened during the day - all this is necessary for your offspring. A fairy tale read to a child before bedtime- this is also taking care of him, so that he falls asleep calm and peaceful.

Signs of love are the desire to provide for the needs of the child. That's what parents do to make sure that the child has everything he needs. Yes, sometimes these needs are difficult to meet. But you need to look for opportunities and explain to the child if you cannot do something for him.

And most importantly, the ability to forgive. This is the quintessence of maternal love, the highest degree of its manifestation. This is the basis of harmonious relations in the family. The ability to forgive and accept is the essence of a woman, her wisdom.

We grow up and some kind of evil witchcraft erases something very important from our memory. We forget what it is like to be a child, and sometimes we don’t understand at all what is happening to our children. And they pout at us and everything gets worse. This selection of films will help us look into the children's soul, remember and understand.

Puzzle/ Inside Out

Riley is an ordinary 11-year-old schoolgirl, and, like each of us, her behavior is determined by five basic emotions: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. Up to a certain age, emotions live in harmony with each other, but moving to another city, a new school create complete confusion in Riley's head, and in order to restore the girl's former happiness, emotions will have to learn how to work together again. This cartoon clearly shows the influence of the internal state on our behavior and helps to understand the thinking of the child, looking at him from the inside.

full moon kingdom/ Moonrise Kingdom

American Empirical Pictures

A couple of teenagers in love run away from adult supervision. Sam is a boy scout and an orphan with a complex personality. His adoptive parents don't get along with him, and neither do the other Boy Scouts. Susie, his girlfriend, is a reserved twelve-year-old girl. Later it becomes clear that, despite the bizarre behavior, the fugitives are looking for one thing - a corner where you can just be happy. A very colorful and original film that is worth watching with the whole family.

August Rush/ August Rush

Warner Bros.

Evan Taylor is an orphan who is being raised in an orphanage. He has a unique talent for music, because his parents were musicians. Evan believes he can find his parents and runs away from the orphanage to New York where he has to play outside. Meanwhile, Evan's mother learns that her son did not die in childbirth, but is alive and looking for her. She also goes in search of her son. A heartwarming film with a wonderful musical accompaniment.

Oliver Twist/ Oliver Twist

Sony Pictures

Oliver Twist is an orphan who grew up in an orphanage at a local church. Unable to bear the bullying of the guards, Oliver flees to London, where he falls into a gang of petty criminals. The boy fails at the first theft, but Mr. Brownlow, who has detained the little thief, decides to take Oliver to his home instead of prison. An excellent adaptation of a classic.

The Adventures of Doughnuts / Knerten

Paradox

The kid is a quick-witted and mischievous boy, he recently moved from the city to the village and has not yet had time to make new friends. One day, digging in a pile of branches and twigs, he finds an interesting-looking dry branch, which becomes his imaginary friend - Koryazhka. The kid is having fun with him while mom and dad are working hard. But can a fictional friend replace parents?

book thief/ The Book Thief

Fox 2000 Pictures

On the eve of World War II, nine-year-old Liesel moves to Munich with her foster parents and learns to read with their help. Gradually, reading becomes her vital need, and Liesel begins to steal books - after all, this is the only available way to understand the events taking place around her: the persecution of Jews, the anti-fascist movement, humiliation and hunger. Books help the girl cope with all the hardships and write her own life story.

choristers/ Les Choristes

France 2 Cinema

The film tells about children with a difficult character and a difficult fate. A new teacher Clement Mathieu appears in a boarding school for difficult teenagers called "The Bottom of the Pond". Unlike other teachers, he does not hide behind a veil of indifference from these unfortunate boys, but tries to understand and get to know them better. To this end, the hero creates a choir that helps one of the boys to reveal his unique natural talent. A person with an open mind will sooner or later achieve recognition even of the most difficult children.

Tom Sawyer/ Tom Sawyer

Neue Schonhauser Filmproduktion

One of the adaptations of the children's novel clearly shows the everyday life of two hooligans - Tom and Huck. Stealing apples, endless pranks on adults, fishing and playing pirates - these are their approximate daily routines. But one day, an unbridled fantasy leads the boys to a cemetery at night, where they become witnesses of a mysterious crime, from which their incredible adventures begin. The film is recommended for viewing by the whole family.

adolescence/boyhood

Detour film production

Director Richard Linklater filmed his film Boyhood for twelve years. He began the story in 2002 and took it through the years, observing members of the same family. The main character is a young Mason, who was 6 years old at the beginning of filming, year after year he watches how life around him changes, how his parents change, and over the years makes more and more significant conclusions about the world that surrounds him. A very sincere and realistic film.

Dead Poets Society/ Dead Poets Society

touchstone pictures

Seven young men are students of a prestigious academy in the United States. On the very first day, the boys meet a new teacher - John Keating (Robin Williams), whose teaching methods are fundamentally different from the traditional ones used in this school for many decades. The teacher shows the heroes all the beauty of poetry and inspires them to go their own way through life. This story is about hopes and desires, as well as about the significance of people who once taught us something important and correct.

Parents sit on chairs in a circle

Teacher: I was waiting for this meeting not by chance.
Talk about the most expensive.
It is important for us not to regret sadly
Something we didn't say
And the cup of feelings was not drunk to the bottom.
And looking back, remembering
Only kind words to each other.

Hello dear parents. I am grateful to you for taking the time to come and talk about the topic that unites us all “Do we always understand our children”.

For acquaintance, let's tell you: who is your boy or girl? First or second child?

Parent responses.

From these data, I conclude that you and you have such different pedagogical experience, the more interesting the conversation will be.

Here you have cards of two colors, let's use these cards to answer the question: do we always understand our children. If your answer is yes, then raise red, if negative, then blue.

We all know well the feature film “We'll Live Until Monday”. One of the characters in the film, a senior student, wrote in his essay: “Happiness is when you are understood!” What does it mean to "understand"?!

Parents' statements.

For me, to understand is to empathize with the child in his joys and hardships, to endure more than to condemn, to respect his opinion, and most importantly, to accept and love him as he is!

Have any of you met with misunderstanding on the part of children? How common are these problems?

Parents' statements.

Sounds very good, let's try it stage this situation:

Or quite often I see this situation: “Two mothers met with their children in the store. One child stands quietly next to his mother, and the other runs around the store. Ultimately, this child finds a shelf with toys, chooses the one he likes and starts asking his mother for it. Mom doesn't care."

In your opinion, is it possible to speak in this situation about understanding your child?

Parents' statements.

The teacher tries to lead with leading questions to a constructive solution to the situation: that understanding can be talked about if the mother now pays attention to the child and talks either about the advisability of buying and after what time they will do it or about inconsistency with the age of the child such a toy.

Now I offer you work in pairs to work on sentences great people, then you give your couple's opinion about this statement - agree or disagree.

Parents do not always understand their children, but they always love them. And kids don't always get it. Olga Muravieva
The child is the mirror of the family. Vasily Aleksandrovich Sukhomlinsky
A child is a rational being, he is well aware of the needs, difficulties and obstacles of his life. Janusz Korczak
Parents are the bone on which children sharpen their teeth. Peter Ustinov
Parents least of all forgive their children for the vices that they themselves instilled in them. Johann Friedrich Schiller
Parent: A position that requires infinite patience to fill it, and requires no patience to get it. Leonard Louis Levinson
To express yourself, you need not understanding, but mutual understanding. Exupery
The most observant people are children. Then the artists. V. Shukshin
Parents should love unconditionally. Children need their kindness and support. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
If you want to see a person, make him speak. Socrates

At consultations, I often hear the phrase: “Children do not try to understand us, but we try to enter into their situation and accept.” And they cannot understand us now (at three, seven, ten years) due to their age characteristics, but very it is important that we now understand them and unconditionally accept them. Without this, it is impossible to build trusting relationships not only with children. Everything that happens to our children, they take in the family, study in the family. All this children will take into their future family.

Remember, stop in time, look around - this is the way to understand the actions of the child, to the idea of how to act in this situation. Nobody is immune from mistakes. Neither age, nor experience, nor knowledge guarantees you the correct behavior in dealing with a child, so always consider the situation from both sides: both yours and the child.

At this time, our conversation is coming to an end, I thank you for participating in it and I propose to reflect on our conversation in this way: in front of you is a vase with balls, if today's conversation was interesting to you, you will use a lot, then take a red ball as a keepsake, if the conversation was interesting for you, but you will not apply the knowledge gained, then take the blue ball, if you did not like the conversation, you did not learn anything new, then take the green ball. On the back of the balloon you will see a small memo.

Traditionally, the main institution of education is a family. What child in childhood, he acquires in the family, he retains throughout his subsequent life.

Exactly at family child receives the first life experience, makes the first observations and learns how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach child, was supported by specific examples, so that he could see that in adults, theory does not diverge from practice. Thus, in order to maximize the positive impact families for education child Parents need to remember intra-family psychological factors that have educational value:

take an active part in family life;
always find time to talk with the child;
be interested in the problems of the child, delve into all the difficulties that arise in his life;
help develop their skills and talents;
have an idea of the different stages in a child's life;
respect the child's right to their own opinion;
be able to restrain possessive instincts and treat the child as an equal partner, who simply has less life experience so far.

We are not born good parents, but become good parents in the process of raising our own children.

Proceedings of the meeting

Parents sit on chairs in a circle

Teacher: I waited for this meeting not by chance.
Talk about the most expensive.
It is important for us not to regret sadly
Something we didn't say
And the cup of feelings was not drunk to the bottom.
And looking back, remembering
Only kind words to each other.

Hello dear parents. My name is Zhelonkina Olga Viktorovna, I am a teacher-psychologist of the kindergarten "Rainbow".
I am grateful to you for taking the time to come and talk about the topic that unites us all “Do we always understand our children”.
For acquaintance, let's tell you: who is your boy or girl? First or second child?

Parent responses.

From these data, I conclude that you and you have such different pedagogical experience, the more interesting the conversation will be.

Vote
Here you have cards of two colors, let's use these cards to answer the question: do we always understand our children. If your answer is yes, then raise red, if negative, then blue.

We all know the movie well. "Let's Live Until Monday" . One of the characters in the film, a senior student, wrote in his essay: “Happiness is when you are understood!” What does it mean to "understand"?!

Parents' statements

For me, to understand is to empathize with the child in his joys and hardships, to endure more than to condemn, to respect his opinion, and most importantly, to accept and love him as he is!
Have any of you met with misunderstanding on the part of children? How common are these problems?

Parents' statements.

Sounds very good, let's try it stage such a situation. :
Or quite often I see this situation: “Two mothers met with their children in the store. One child stands quietly next to his mother, and the other runs around the store. Ultimately, this child finds a shelf with toys, chooses the one he likes and starts asking his mother for it. Mom doesn't pay attention.
In your opinion, is it possible to speak in this situation about understanding your child?

Parents' statements.

The teacher tries to bring leading questions to a constructive solution to the situation: in the fact that you can talk about understanding if the mother now pays attention to the child and talks either about the expediency of buying and after what time they will do it or about the discrepancy between the age of the child of such a toy.

Now I offer you work in pairs to work on sentences great people, then you give your couple's opinion about this statement - agree or disagree.

· Parents do not always understand their children, but they always love them. And kids don't always get it.. Olga Muravieva
· The child is the mirror of the family. Vasily Aleksandrovich Sukhomlinsky
· A child is a rational being, he is well aware of the needs, difficulties and obstacles of his life.. Janusz Korczak
· Parents are the bone on which children sharpen their teeth. Peter Ustinov
· Parents least of all forgive their children for the vices that they themselves instilled in them.. Johann Friedrich Schiller
· Parent: a position that requires infinite patience to fill it and no patience to get it. Leonard Louis Levinson
· To express yourself, you need not understanding, but mutual understanding. Exupery
· The most observant people are children. Then the artists. V. Shukshin
· Parents should love unconditionally. Children need their kindness and support. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
· If you want to see a man, make him speak. Socrates

In consultations, I often hear the phrase: “Children do not try to understand us, but we try to enter into their situation and accept”. And they cannot understand us now (at three, seven, ten years old) due to their age characteristics, but it is very important that we understand them now and unconditionally accept them. Without this, it is impossible to build trusting relationships not only with children. Everything that happens to our children, they take in the family, study in the family. All this children will take into their future family.

Traditionally, the main institution of education is the family. What a child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his subsequent life.

It is in the family that the child receives the first life experience, makes the first observations and learns how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is supported by concrete examples, so that he sees that in adults theory does not diverge from practice. Thus, in order to maximize the positive impact of the family on the upbringing of the child, parents need to remember intra-family psychological factors that have educational value:

· Take an active part in family life;
· Always find time to talk with your child;
To be interested in the problems of the child, to delve into all the difficulties that arise in his life;
· Help develop their skills and talents;
· Have an idea of the different stages in a child's life;
Respect the child's right to his own opinion;
· Be able to restrain possessive instincts and treat the child as an equal partner, who simply has less life experience so far.