Preparations 

How to make it so to grow up. As a girl to grow up psychologically: what affects it, steps to psychological maturity

The inability to make independent decisions, life with a loan for someone else's opinion, insecurity and eternal dissatisfaction with others - the main signs of infantality. A psychologically immature man life seems to be a big hostile country, but if you adhere to a systematic approach and follow the advice of psychologists, you can grow by mind and character. It requires work on itself and may be a serious difficulty. But the awareness of his own psychological immaturity is the first step towards adulthood.

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    Signs of psychological immaturity

    Experts allocate a number of major signs for which you can identify a person-child:

    • Indecision. Faced with a problem or in front of the choice, a person is not able to accept any decision due to fear to bear responsibility. This is the next item.
    • Irresponsibility. Showing decisions on other entails liability for the consequences of any significant actions. An attempt to threaten to manage your own destiny.
    • Pity for yourself and accusing others in their troubles. When a person voluntarily or forcedly, he blames in his problems all, besides himself. The world seems hostile and unfair, and his own helplessness pulls out all his strength. Most often, adult children blame their parents.
    • Categorithing in judgments and cruelty to disagree. The division of peace and events on black and white is characteristic of teenagers. Adults see the nuances and react flexibly to them. The child has two positions: it is wrong. And when any phenomenon is knocked out from the children's picture of the world, a person tries to resist him with all their might.

    How to become a beautiful and well-groomed girl

    Several main elements of maturity

    There is a list of tips, following which can be brought into equilibrium psychological and real age.

    It is important to understand the moment when psychological immaturity begins to interfere with life. If there is a need to grow up a guy in 30 years - this is an objective reality, then for the girl at 21, it may be a simple quarrence of more adults around.

    Estimation is a complex comprehensive stage in the development of personality and it does not do without difficulties.

    How to sort oneself

    Realize the existence of the problem

    To mature psychologically, it is necessary to realize the inconsistency between age in the passport and in self-saturation.

    Overcoming the negation stage will be more productive if you have a comprehensive analysis of my own personality. Psychologists advise to take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. In the first to record adult features of their personality, and in the right - signs of infantality. Such a visual way will allow one to see their own problems.

    How to overcome shyness

    Be responsible for your own life

    The most important criterion for an adult man or a woman is the ability to make independent and weighted solutions throughout life. At the same time, the solutions should not be accepted under the influence of emotions, stress or momentary desire.

    To make decisions in an adult, it is important to weigh all the "for" and "against", to discard hope for a sudden solution to the problem without effort from the inside. It should be excluded or minimized as a phenomenon as procrastination.

    Procrastination is a psychological inclination to postpone the adoption of important decisions.

    Show flexibility

    Adults are different from teenagers searching for compromises. Only children are characterized by maximalism in lifestyle. A psychologically mature man is aware that he lives in the world, inhabited by other adults with his life experience and looks for life.

    To find solutions and build relationships so that they suggest everyone, the main secret of mature relationships. It does not mean to fuse and take someone else's opinion to avoid conflicts. It is important to be adequately, but gently designate its position. In disputes do not go to the individual and respect the opinion of the interlocutor.

    Take care of nearby

    The world of immature personality is egocentric. A teenager seeks to achieve all the best for himself. The problems and difficulties of the surrounding infantile personality do not worry. Egoism is often taken for love for her love.

    For internal adults, it should be easily disappeared from concern for their own comfort and pay attention to the needs of loved ones. Do not stop yourself on the altar of serving people. It is important to observe the balance between concern about yourself and others.

    Forgive yourself and surrounding

    To become an adult personality, it is important to understand your family problems. Most of the problems come from relationships with parents. Many are inclined to blame them in all their current troubles. Or carry a feeling of guilt in front of the parents through the year. This is a wrong approach.

    People tend to be imperfect, make mistakes. For development, you should forgive parents for mistakes in education. Forgive yourself for the perfect misconduct and stop sorry yourself. To reconcile with the presence of an internal child, allow him to stay in the past. The stage of childhood must be survived and release it to not poison life.

    Consistent work on yourself

    To achieve the necessary effect, you must carefully treat each item. You can not take into operation only those elements that suit and discard everything that does not like it.

    Only an integrated approach and an application of constant efforts are able to provide productive personality development and achieving the desired result.

It will be about psychological age. After all, it is known that in 30-40 years old, the psychological age can be much smaller than biological.

So, very slightly theories.

Adult personality qualities

  1. Internal locus control
  2. Good borders

What it is? Internal control locus concerns responsibility: for itself, for their actions, for their lives. If he is internal, then a person understands that he himself is responsible for everything (even if others are really guilty). The same applies to decision-making: Inside Locus is I myself make decisions that I do and how I live (taking into account objective reality, of course). An adult man has an integrated function "must" and "necessary."

If we talk about the borders, then the adult man clearly realizes, separates from others, autonomy and viable in this autonomy. He takes others as they are, refers to others with respect and keeps their interests without prejudice to them. That is, an adult person has self-esteem and respects others.

Immature person

  1. External control locus. This is when the surrounding people are to blame for human problems and it is always something or someone prevents living in the way he wants. Such a person cannot make a decision he is waiting for others for him. And often not because he does not know what to do, but because it does not want to be responsible for its decisions and actions in the subsequent. I can not add to an excuse that not only do not want to be responsible, but cannot, this is due to their weakness, such a burden for them and the truth is hard. Everything is interconnected: the immature personality has weak resources, and the responsibility is a pretty adhesive thing, not everyone will raise.
  2. Blurred boundaries. You can determine the speech of such a person: we, we, we, and so on. This is an attempt to divide the load of responsibility, among other things. An immature person does not differentiate himself as a separate person. Vaguely presents its desires and needs without communication with anyone. As a rule, involved in different degrees of dependence on their loved ones. It often does not ensure itself materially or provides, but not enough to live on their own. At the same time painfully perceives intervention in his life, the control of it is oppressed. In some way, a vicious circle is obtained, the balance of freedom and responsibility is disturbed. An unpleasant condition that depletes the already small personality resources (or inhibits their development).

Thinking infantile man

  1. Debts. The infantile person lives in the categories "must" and this applies to everyone who surrounds it. "He should not upset me", "He should not be rude with me" - so thinks uncomfortable adult. Reminds a capricious child. Due to the fact that people and the world are in no hurry to fulfill their duty to infantil, he is often offended and angry with them.
  2. Catastrophe. Again, due to the fact that our hero does not receive confirmations to their "must", its illusions catastrophically crumble. "It's terrible!", "This is a catastrophe" - shouts inner voice. Missing expectations and reality frustrates (dealers) an immature person.
  3. Frustration. Logical completion of the above two items. It feels like the unbearability and intolerance of what is happening, and thoughts: "I will not suffer this", "this is unbearably".

What we have? The world of the infantile person is the world of unfulfilled debts, resentment for "debtors", daily observation of catastrophes and the feeling of nonsense of being. This is, of course, a picture of pronounced infantilism.

Thinking an immature personality is more emotionally, that is, it is characteristic to act "on emotions", the mind does not have time to connect (there is no skill).

How to grow up a person

The thinking of an adult is distinguished by maturity. And it is manifested in the following.

  1. The adult understands that no one should do anything. Neither the surrounding people nor the world as a whole. Therefore, he does not spend time and effort to expect anything and all the more, does not build illusions.
  2. Mature personality does not build unpleasant events in the discharge of the catastrophe, therefore it is capable of structurally cope with problems and be productive.
  3. The adult man has good resistance to frustration (deprivation) - the threshold of frustration is quite high. That is, energy reserves in an adult man is enough to worry deviating, and the forces spent restored pretty quickly.

Change the usual immature thinking schemes to adaptive, it is possible with the help of certain techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy. I will tell you about it more in the near future.

Each person, coming to the next life period, understands that it is time to become responsible for his life, and for the life of loved ones. But when this period comes and how to prepare for him?

Awareness

How to become an adult man and enter an independent and responsible life? The first should come to the realization that everything in life only depends on himself. What builds relationships in a couple or in the team (and even with girlfriends) is work, and it is not always easy. And the second, no less important, is to accept and remember at the level of the orphanage: no one should anyone!

When the awareness of these important rules come, you need to think about what can be done to change the life in the root. To make decisions and execute them will be independently.

For cardinal changes, you need to make a plan. It should be taken into account in it not only their desires, but also the interests of close and surrounding people. The process of growing just begins when a person embodies the tasks to the reality.

After all, what is adhere? These are primarily thoughts, actions, emotions, behavior. And with age, it is not always connected.

Form of interest

How to become an adult and self? It is necessary to start developing the behavior of a mature person. We begin with definition of interests. The lack of movement and hobby or other interests shows the immaturity of a person in general. Well, from a variety of today's proposals to choose the case and, gradually developing it, become a pro. You can try yourself in photography, master any musical instrument or even a foreign language. Or maybe try yourself in acting art or bitbox? The main thing is that the selected occupation like it is that it does not become a painful service.

This is the first application for growing up. The situation involves many advantages. For example, new topics will appear for conversations with people who share this kind of hobby, or new acquaintances. Any interesting occupation increases self-esteem and develops imagination.

Another positive point of the presence of a hobby, psychologists consider, is the stimulation of the part of the brain that is responsible for positive and happy emotions.

Well, if the occupation is active and useful in life.

Setting the goal

How to become an adult person? You must learn to set goals in front of yourself and reach them. This is an important stage of growing up.

It is necessary to take attempts to sort out their character. Determine your strengths and weak. To study the tendency towards different areas of knowledge. Choose the one with which you can go through life, achieve the heights of the skill and extract the maximum benefit as spiritual and material. The goals set harmonize the personality, help work on character.

Put - lesson not from the lungs. But without this stage there is no future. Start building the main idea is needed from categories: When that, who, where, why and how.

  • When. This is a temporary framework. A date, of course, is difficult to determine, and it is meaningless. But the approximate temporary framework is necessary, it will help not to get down from the course and accurately go to the desired goal.
  • what. This is the very fact of the desired. What exactly want to achieve. This item requires specifics. The streamlined options will not pass. The goal should not be broken. You can consider somewhat smaller, certainly leading to the main one.
  • Who. These are reliable assistants and advisers. Both adults and peers, have already achieved something in life.
  • Where. Place, accurate or widely understood by this word, in which work will happen to.
  • What for. This is almost the most important point. Upon reaching the goal, it is necessary to see that the picture of life develops, as was conceived. It is very important to understand the significance of the goal.
  • How. This is the point of drawing up a step-by-step instruction. Point needed every step.

We put priorities

How to become an adult? It is necessary to learn how to determine when seriousness is needed, and when you can and think. After all, adulthood does not mean a constant seriousness.

A man mature in actions, thoughts and actions can feel the audience, guess the mood of others. Therefore, it may be serious and cheerful at the right time. Ideally, well to learn this in societies of different rank.

Rest

It is equally important to remove yourself every day for Lurestania. It is very important: to give yourself just to wound some small segment of time to pull the steam and get rid of unnecessary emotions. But here the main thing is not to forget that you have to joke about weakness, the appearance of the other and humiliate is categorically impossible!

There is an important stage of growing up: the concept of seriousness of the situation. At special events or in special places, it is necessary not only to be serious, but also to take attention to the events. It makes it possible to understand others that the person matured.

Respect

How can you become an adult? Only respecting others. You need to live in the world with everyone and yourself. If a person is constantly annoying others around him, what reason can you talk about? An adult man always takes note of the desire and needs of close and surrounding people. This behavior is worthy of him.

But this does not mean that himself and his desires need to be forgotten. This means that you need to find a balance between your feelings and desires and feelings and desires of others. And live in truth, old as the world: Treat people as you would like them to treat you. And rudeness and rudeness must be stopped. Just do not meet and do not communicate with such people.

How to become an adult? Choosing friends correctly. They must make us better. And nothing else. People who pull down must disappear from your life.

Emotions

Very sensitive component of an adult. Blowing and aggression show uncertainty. Both of these feelings are harmful to others and, the main thing, the person who expresses them. If a person notices such moments behind him, experts advise to talk to someone who causes confidence (parents close to relatives or friends). Perhaps they will help pay attention to these bursts and gradually reduce them.

Adult, conscious behavior will not give a person to fall to the level of gossip and rumors. It is very wounded, even if the discussion does not have malicious intent. Rumors can make a "steep" five-graders, but not someone who thinks about how to become an adult. After all, many dissolving rumors do not even think that they can also gossip about them.

It is necessary to get rid of people who express a bad attitude towards a person. If the commented phrase or action does not cause guilt and subsequent apologies from another person, it is necessary to part with such a person without regret.

Adults are always open

It's not as scary as it seems. It is only necessary to try - and, as they say, people will reach out to you. For example, it is not necessary to condemn a person if his habits or beliefs differ from generally accepted. We must try to show interest in such a non-standard life position. You also need to learn less to speak, listen more.

Nobody's perfect

How to become an adult in relationships? It is necessary, first of all, do not wait for people a trick. It is necessary to accept that everyone makes mistakes (actually, as well as you). This item of cultivation is quite complicated, but the adoption of his faith will show others as far as the man has become an adult.

How to become an adult girl? Easier simple: you need to gain self-confidence. For example, you do not need to apologize for your oddities or quirks, even if they do not approve them. If this behavior does not humiliate anyone and does not offend, it means that you can safely express my life position in this way. An adult girl does not doubt in himself and always in any society will be the one that really is.

Well, naturally, asking for how to become an adult, you need to learn to be frank. And first of all alone with me. This is one of the important postulates of the adult behavior.

"To live - it means to change, change - it means to grow up, and to grow up - it means to be unprotected to create yourself" Henri Bergson

Maturity of character and thinking do not come by themselves. Be Peter Pan is fun and funny only at first. If you do not grow up in time, it is forever stuck in a state of uncertainty, doubt and youthful jagged.

Each person, and especially a man, should be matured. Then the time of his heyday will come. Can you grow quickly for the year, month, week or one day? Yes. It is enough to change the way of thinking, habits and a look at life. Outloes we wake up completely different people.

How to mature

1. Become an independent

The man becomes an adult when he disappears the desire to prove it to others. Enough to do in the ultra or called parents. Stop relying on others and drown too. Other people can not solve everything for you. It's time to be guided by your mind in making decisions. No one will help you except you. You yourself are responsible for life. Become an independent, otherwise it is not to grow up.

2. Throw smoking

Smoking in youth looked back by a rebel and a sign of growing up. But in reality it is stinking, dear and unhealthy habit. Lung cancer, yellow teeth and unhealthy complexion is the reality of the smokers.

3. Find yourself

Sit on the neck of the parents is completely wrong, like lying on the sofa. It's time to define what you want to do. It is unnecessary to look for the reasons for justifying the laziness and unwillingness to change their lives for the better. Do not do it. No one will do everything for you. Problems will not be solved independently.

4. Enough to eat any nonsense

Fast food and irregular nutrition seem to be ordinary things, but this is exactly what takes strength and leads to a decline of energy. Regular and healthy eating - a pledge of a full and rich life.

5. Take yourself in hand

Reasonably distributed time. Wast time on drunks, parties, computer games, laziness and other aimless classes is the descent of life in the toilet. It's time to be more responsible. Strain the finances, the state of health, are engaged in a sport, you have time to sleep. Do not climb where they do not ask, do not know yourself, do not promise impossible, do not hope for a miracle, do not blame for the past, do not be afraid of doctors, not nervous on trifles. Take yourself in your hands and start expressing.

6. Stop BUN without measure

Regular alcohol consumption can be considered chronic illness called "Alcoholism". Alcohol not only makes you a wallet, but also makes less competitive in this world. Enough to drink without measure, it leads to trouble, headache and lack of good sex life.

7. Become an adult

Life with parents to old age? It always comes such a moment when you should get out of the parent nest. It's time to be independent. Branch, mature!

8. Find yourself a second half

Dating sites or Tinder app can become acquainted with thousands of people. But in 99% of cases it will be unsuccessful relationship. Search for a girl in a club for a serious relationship, not sex, also naive. Do not exercise nonsense. Good girls can be found on the street or transport. But remember that ideal people do not exist.

Estimates are an understanding of himself as a person, awareness of their desires and responsibility for what is happening around.

It's time to grow up, bro!

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Can a girl achieve harmony and satisfaction with his own life, not knowing how to grow psychologically and navigate to the updated deeper understanding of happiness? At a certain point already. It is quite natural that the girl wants to build his own relationship with friends and representatives of the opposite sex. But how to break out of the usual rut, which quite recently provided the comfort and feeling of happiness?

How to mature psychologically: the causes of emotional infantilism

The need for psychological growing awaits almost every girl who is accustomed to consider itself a spoiled girl. It is worthwhile to be surprised that such a person does not allow and thoughts about their own insolvency and the right of other people on personal (sometimes unpleasant for her) opinion. The standard of correct assessment and justice, she considers only self and own interests. Similar when circumstances make up a contrary to her desires. Unable to recognize his own mistakes and internally to improve, the girl considers the world hostile and unfair. Of this situation, only those girls who are aware of the importance of not only their own person, but also other people will be able to win the winner.

Psychological growing will save the young woman who takes possession for the insults and injustice (the reason for which actually lies in it itself). Its rebellion and internal dissatisfaction comes down to attempts to prove their own right of something. Otherwise, the girl exhibits aggression and tries to do it called others, thereby only.

Such a girl will psychologically help the awareness of the inevitability of prohibitions (as the main condition for organizing life and life) ensuring the harmonious coexistence of different individuals and their safety in society.

In addition, the psychological children often remain those girls from childhood and ridiculed parents, teachers or peers. Here the reason for the problem is hidden in the desire to remain in the shade and habit not to rely on your own opinion. Their infantilism lies in the subconscious fee to make decisions and search for encouragement of own actions from other people. Such personalities often go on those who are confident in themselves, and are easily amenable to unauthorized influence. Mature psychologically, only the awareness of their own value as a unique person will help them. Very and not be afraid to be the center of attention, as well as without resorting to the conflict.

As a girl to grow up psychologically: the first steps

The search for solutions, prompting how to grow psychologically to the girl is not in alcohol addiction, smoking or physical proximity with a more adult partner. The sign of cultivation is noticeable by the nature of man, his manner behaves and take responsibility.

In addition to the desire to become an adult, the lady will have to realize himself independent and psychologically mature. Another equally important aspect is an objective assessment of its advantages and disadvantages. Here already: the time came the most unraveling the intricacies of circumstances.

Psychological cultivation is also characterized by the ability of a girl to express priorities when she knows its own price, takes independent decisions, evaluates the prospect and chooses friends. Unlike a child, such a person has inner freedom, but keeps self-discipline in heroic mittens. However, not only E allocates a matured girl, but also concern for others, the desire for material independence.

To become an adult, it is often necessary to change the usual understanding of the world and our own beliefs. Psychological maturity provides for the ability to cook, cope with children, adapt to the environment, join the team and work. If you make efforts to teach, mastering certain skills and skills, the hard conditions of fate will not seem too painful.

If a girl is able to mobilize internal resources to overcome fear in the absence of support from others - you can not be afraid of the future. And the readiness for decisive actions with a sober assessment of the situation is the right way from a gloomy impasse to success and recognize yourself as a person. And to feel comfortable in human society, the girl will help the ability to understand people, forgive mistakes and.