Deciding to end a marriage can be scary enough. The fear of loneliness arises, the future becomes uncertain, so many people prefer to endure the average relationship, agreeing with dissatisfaction. You shouldn't do that. If you remain in an unsuccessful marriage, this can affect your psychological and emotional state in the future. Therapists and researchers have concluded that an unhappy union leads to low self-esteem, causes problems with anxiety and depression, and impairs health. That being said, divorce can help you recover emotionally. Trust me, you will find a new relationship - statistically, eighty-five percent of divorced people find a partner within five years. So, if you notice these signs in your family, you should think about whether you really need such a union.

You have no sex

One of the alarming signs of a failed marriage is the complete absence of intimate contact. If you have sex less than ten times in a year, your relationship suffers: sex is what sets a romantic relationship apart from all others. When intimacy disappears, this is a reason to think. If you are not kissing or hugging, this can also be a worrying sign.

You have nothing to talk about

You don't feel close

You can be in the same room, one with a laptop, the other in front of the TV - you have no contact with each other. When you are together, you seem to be alone and still go about your business. This is a sign of a lack of communication between partners.

You ignore your intuition

Often, our instincts immediately tell when a relationship is not working out, but not everyone is ready to listen to this voice. We ignore these signals, because it is a quiet and calm voice, not at all like the one that lives in thoughts and feeds on vivid emotions. We are usually guided by logic, not feelings, so doubts about love for a partner do not resonate. Listen to what is in your soul. If you no longer want to be around your chosen one, there may be a reason for this.

You are busy with other people's needs and desires.

Many women stay in relationships longer than they should because they are used to putting other people's needs ahead of their own. For women, the role of a caring partner is inherent, but excessive efforts of this kind force them to forget about their own desires. If you no longer feel your own aspirations, you should think about the current situation.

The distance between you keeps growing

Consider how long the situation has been negative and whether your situation is getting worse. Almost everyone experiences difficult moments, nevertheless, if the problem lasts for several years and it is difficult to imagine a way out of it, you should turn to a professional for help. Do this as soon as possible, otherwise the relationship will not be saved later. The average couple waits about six years from the moment they first notice the problem to the moment they decide to tackle it. Often it is too late, the marriage is ruined, and there is no way to save it. Try to start moving towards solving problems as soon as possible.

You fancy life without your partner

If you often imagine a happy future without a partner, there is probably something wrong with your marriage. This is a sign of a process of emotional estrangement as you begin to subconsciously prepare for a breakup. If you fantasize about cheating or make your own plans for the future without including your partner, your love is dead. Listen to your emotions and decide if you need to work on the relationship or if it's better to end it.

You stopped fighting

If you no longer have any arguments, but you do not feel close, this is a sign of a critical situation. If the couple does not talk about controversial issues, the partners do not share their point of view, this means that the relationship is in a critical state. Unresolved conflicts can make you feel like love is gone. If there is no controversy, it's up to you whether you want to try working on the relationship or no longer see the point in it.

You have big problems

There are four types of behavior that destroy a relationship. The first is constant criticism, the second is the constant position of defense and refusal to be held accountable. The third is the contempt and manner of insulting the partner, and the fourth is the tendency to emotionally close. If you have one or more of these traits, things will be especially difficult.

You don't listen to each other

If you are not paying attention to your partner and you do not feel that he is listening to you, this is a serious problem. Listening is an essential tool for resolving conflicts, and lack of it can lead to divorce.

You are on the verge of treason

Thanks to modern technologies, it becomes easier to find a new partner. If you start flirting online, you should think about the state of your relationship.

You are communicating with friends, not your partner.

If, with joy or grief, you go to your friends, and not to the chosen one, this is a clear sign that you are not too happy. Research has shown that in a happy union, partners support each other.

You don't spend time together

If, after returning from work, each of you immediately begins to go about your own business, if you are always immersed in your own interests, it seems that there is simply no point in maintaining the relationship further.

You don't go on dates

Can't remember the last time you were on a date? Planning nothing together? Try going to restaurants or movies again to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

Your partner is no longer your priority

Marriage is a sign that you consider your spouse to be your closest person. If your partner is no longer on your list of priorities, you should seriously consider the state of your relationship.

Unsuccessful marriage, or how to get married unsuccessfully

Unfortunately, in modern society, many values ​​are losing their meaning, and one of these values, oddly enough, has become marriage.
Men and women stopped treating him as a serious, perhaps the most important and responsible step in their lives, which is why modern couples so often get divorced and cannot keep their family together.

If you think that your conflicts are a temporary phenomenon, everything will change in marriage, and the quarrels will stop, then you are mistaken. Since marriage is continuous conflicts, however, conflicts do not mean quarrels, since a quarrel is the inability of the parties to the conflict to talk, listen, hear and negotiate.

Family life is a continuous conflict and compromises, some of them have more, others have less, but happiness in the family is determined not by their number, but by the ability and desire to resolve them. Therefore, if your conflicts are frequent, but at the same time you constantly quarrel and put up hard, then you need to approach this problem seriously and either start work on yourself and learn to resolve conflicts together, or accept the fact that it will not be easier in marriage, and with this something needs to be done now.

3. You are not honest with her.

If you cannot or do not want to tell your beloved the truth and often have to lie to her, then is it worth getting married then? How can you build a strong family relationship with a woman with whom you cannot be frank?

2. You do not understand what your woman needs

Before getting married, you need to understand that a woman is a different world, her emotions, feelings and desires are very different from those of men, these differences are expressed in everything: in communication, in sex, in expressing herself. And you need to understand this in order to be ready for life and building family relationships with a woman.

1. There is no correct idea of ​​family life

This is the main reason why unsuccessful marriages appear, marriages that fall apart. Many men misunderstand that getting married is not just about joining your life with a woman. To marry is to choose one single woman, exchange her for all the others and start living for her and for her. This means that your work, your life, your affairs are now attached to it and are inseparable from it. You work for the good of the family, live for the family, and everything that concerns you should be for the family. Your personal space, affairs and problems do not exist, there are common affairs, problems and a common territory on which your spouse will now be.

All of the above is an ideal, if you understand this, and the starting point is these ideals, then it will be easier to build a family life, it is clear that it will not be ideal, but to know and understand how it should be is already a lot, moreover, this also applies to your woman.
If you decide to marry with the thought that your life will not change in any way, and everything will be as it is, and your life is your business, the more difficult it will be to build your life.

Modern life is slowly acquiring features of insensitivity and selfishness, and at the same time, many life values ​​are losing their significance.

Thus, the sanctity of marriage, which symbolizes the union of two loving hearts, disappears somewhere. More and more often, young men and women have a frivolous attitude: they cease to perceive this step as one of the most serious and responsible in life. Perhaps this is because people do not realize the need to create a relationship based on love.

One way or another, unsuccessful marriages play only on growth in the numbers of disappointing statistics. Trying to understand only superficially the problem of the situation that caused the break in the family, we insensibly say: “we didn’t agree in character,” “probably,” “he is such and such a bad woman,” “she is a dishonest woman,” etc. There are many options for conjectural comments. The thing is that in most cases neither the young people themselves, nor those close to them, try to look inside the problem and find where it takes root.

The most common causes of unsuccessful marriages

1. or love? Quite common are cases when young people get married, unable to distinguish an outbreak of love from true love. Cloudedness of mind and inability to adequately analyze the situation leads to the fact that lovers do not attach importance to the level of seriousness of their step. Everything they see is a cloudless future in which there is no place for everyday life and difficulties. That is why young spouses are not ready for the realities of life together. The first everyday problems and the period of "grinding in" are unable to break their relationship only when they are built only on love - a more mature feeling than falling in love. That is why everyone who marries is simply obliged to be aware of the seriousness of his step, to determine the values ​​of marriage, to be able to analyze relationships and really look into the near future.

2. Marriage is a way. Many believe that marriage can prevent the breakup of a relationship. Women often hope that marriage is able to settle men down, and they, in turn, count on favorable changes in women. At the same time, both sides are inclined to believe that the "stamp in the passport" is able to keep the soul mate. It is a myth! In such cases, changes after marriage are almost always for the worse. The only exceptions are those relationships that have been in the stage of meetings and dates for several years. For them, marriage can really be a salvation.

3. Confidence that "will not go anywhere." As a rule, this opinion is the reason for the subsequent laziness. Women do not want to recognize their husband and follow his wishes, men stop courting and reckoning with their wife. They just become too lazy to get to know each other, to understand, to do something pleasant for a loved one. And, in the end, the young are unable to create a strong family based on mutual love and respect.

4. Lack of respect. In marriage, we clearly understand that love and passion are not the only source of successful relationships. Without mutual respect, building harmonious communication is unlikely to succeed. And love will not be hardy and as strong as it seemed initially. A lawful relationship between a man and a wife in which there is no respect is an unhappy marriage. Not respecting your soul mate means not respecting yourself.

5. Constant conflicts and quarrels. They appear out of the blue, out of nowhere. Their reasons can even be a cup put in the wrong place, a thing carelessly thrown on the sofa, unwashed dishes and a lot of all sorts of everyday and irrelevant little things. Quarrels in the family become companions of the spouses. The inability to find a compromise and the lack of desire to seek it only makes the situation worse. When quarrels and scandals occur constantly, abnormal family conditions for husband and wife become the norm. Both have a feeling of mutual irritation, which can gradually develop into anger and even hatred.

The presence of all these aspects in a marriage that is falling apart before our eyes suggests that the main reason for the split is the lack of the slightest idea about family life. The concept of marriage should begin to come to us even before the decision to marry or get married. After all, family relationships are a huge work that must be done daily. Therefore, it is better to foresee an unsuccessful marriage before its conclusion. This will help avoid disappointing consequences.
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The consequences of a failed marriage

1. Mental and physiological health problems. An unsuccessful marriage is always a scandal, it is always stress and nervous experiences. Being in constant internal tension and depression, the husband and wife subject their body to weakening. This leads to disruption of its functioning and exhaustion. Depression, cardiovascular disease, obesity and even diabetes mellitus are not a complete list of a disappointing "set".

2.. This is actually very scary, but when sorting out their relationship, the spouses for some reason forget about what their children are going through. For any child, even the slightest discord in the family is stress. And when scandals become systematic, the child does not come out of the depressed state. The consequence of this can be, first of all, diseases. In addition, children have no idea of ​​a normal family at all, which entails problems in establishing a personal life in the future. And most importantly: a child who grows up in constant scandals cannot feel happy. This is reflected in his character, outlook on life and attitude towards people around him.

3. Failure to be happy. When a person is unhappy and puts up with it, he deprives himself of the opportunity to live better. Helplessly clinging to the bonds of a failed marriage, husband and wife continue to test each other's endurance, while feeling an inner failure. The surrounding life for both loses its colors and turns into torture. Every day they literally survive, in the morning setting themselves up that they need to somehow survive until tomorrow. This leads to the fact that both are engaged in slow self-destruction. The consequence of such a circumstance is a broken life.

What to do?

First of all, deliberately enter into marriage, with the acceptance of all responsibility and responsibilities. If doubts do not leave you - find in yourself their true reason. You should not marry out of despair or get married out of despair to find “your life partner”.

Is it worth keeping a failed marriage? Firstly, it is necessary to solve this precisely for the family that has been affected by this problem, having answered the question the day before: "Do I want this?" If the husband or wife has no desire to live together, trying to save the marriage is pointless. Love and family are two concepts that only reinforce each other. Our inability to preserve one of them excludes from life the possibility of existence for the other.

How to keep your family together? Any relationship must be rescued. At least one time. You can save a marriage that is bursting at the seams, only you need to work on it for a long time and hard. If you still have the strength, don't miss this opportunity. Bring as much positive as possible to your family and try to eliminate the negative. As long as you allow the second to prevail over the first, you, unfortunately, will not succeed.

Which does not bring you happiness. Indeed, life is too short to be wasted in unhealthy relationships.

So why does the mere thought of divorce cause panic? Uninvited thoughts immediately enter my head: How will I live alone? How will our children react to this? Am I destined to live alone until the end of my days?

Naturally, such negative thoughts only cause pain and depression. And if you try to focus on the positive that divorce can unexpectedly turn into? There are at least 11 reasons why divorce is so much better than being unhappy.

1. Marriage is safer, but divorce will allow you to start a new life!

Even in bad times, you know what the future holds. And this allows you to feel a certain security. But divorce gives hope to finally become who you want, hope to be happy, a chance to find a loved one.

2. It is better to be a single parent than to show the child swearing and quarrels.

If you have children, it is better to get a divorce than to live in a failed marriage. The formation of the child's psyche occurs at an early age. And if children see parents' scandals, then in the future they will most likely reproduce similar relationships in their family life.

3. You deserve a partner who will treat you the same way you treat him.

Divorce is definitely better than a loveless marriage. All people deserve to be loved. Why live in a marriage where love and respect are not a priority?

4. After a divorce, you will not only get freedom, but also the chance to meet a more suitable partner.

Divorce is always painful, but once it happens, you will feel relieved. By becoming a free person, you are more likely to be able to meet your true soul mate!

5. Divorce will help you see yourself with different eyes.

After a divorce, you will fall in love with yourself again. You will have the opportunity to channel all the love and energy that a bad marriage was sucking on your children. You will find peace, happiness and joy in life.

6. Divorce is better than your children’s persistent aversion to family life.

What could be worse for a child than living in an atmosphere of hostility and seeing his parents unhappy? Perhaps the life of all family members will become much better and happier after the divorce.

7. Divorce will reveal to you the difference between loneliness and solitude.

After a divorce, you will learn to enjoy loneliness and free yourself from the terrible feelings of separation that invariably arise after being with the wrong person.

8. You and your partner will no longer interfere with each other's growth.

The only thing that separates a “bad” marriage from a “good” marriage is a mutual effort to get better. Therefore, sometimes divorce allows both partners to grow personally and achieve what they want.

9. By freeing yourself from negativity in your marriage, you can become a better parent.

Divorce will prove that you have the desire and courage to live a happy life. And if you become happier, you will be a much better parent.

10. You finally get your hands on other important areas of life.

If you used to spend a lot of energy to save your marriage, now you will have more strength for yourself and your children. Don't put all your energy into relationships that no longer work!

11. You lose your spouse, but in return you get personal happiness.

Life is too short to waste it on scandals and showdown. Let your spouse go and finally become a happy person!