The rule of three in the family. Personal example. In the example, there is always a sense of concreteness, the unity of word and deed. if your husband once again tells the same story in the company, which is pretty fed up with you, or a bearded anecdote, do not try to cut him off

Hundreds of treatises have been written on the upbringing of children throughout the history of the spilling of mankind, thousands of ideas have been put forward. But if we mentally compare the main known pedagogical theories in the most general terms, we can see that their essence boils down to giving recommendations to educators on how and by what means to educate children in moral ideals and the foundations of a certain society. The implementation of these tasks was entrusted mainly to parents, who sought to instill in children respect for elders, to instill truthfulness, modesty, politeness, obedience, the ability to behave among acquaintances and strangers, equal in age and older, to keep clean and tidy. Family upbringing usually boiled down to fixing in the mind of the child the simple norms of everyday life, which reflected a certain system of morality.

At different stages of history, these norms changed depending on the class-estate structure of the social system, the degree of exacerbation of class antagonism; all of them were contradictory in content, but quite close in form of expression, which created a real opportunity to obscure their social meaning. This was facilitated by religion, which influenced the formation of the moral consciousness of children, inspired them with resignation, humility, fear.

Family education begins with the education of a child with simple moral standards. This general pattern is due to social and physiological factors. It operates always and everywhere, the only difference is what content this or that society, the family invests in the concept of "simple norm". A simple norm is a kind of rules of conduct, without which joint activities and people's lives are impossible. The sphere of application of these norms is mainly reduced to behavior in the family, everyday life, everyday relationships. Simple norms of morality, the purpose of which is to maintain elementary order, are perceived by children at an early preschool age as a system of requirements without proper understanding. With age, they acquire evaluative significance in children and act not as due, but as highly generalized concepts that have their own causal connection and conditionality. In addition, any simple norm, such as, for example, “do not dirty your clothes”, “do not break a toy”, we in the process of educating samps generalize and elevate to an evaluative concept, to a motive of a higher order: do not dirty clothes because it is bad; sit still at the table and eat carefully, because it's good. At the same time, we usually see good in everything that corresponds to our understanding of good.

By educating children with simple everyday rules of behavior, we educate our own moral code, instill a system of certain principles that we ourselves are guided by in the process of practical activity. The construction of simple norms of everyday family life to the evaluative categories of good and evil is a very important moment in the formation of the moral consciousness of the child. If, say, a certain norm of behavior is perfectly clear and simple for an adult, then for a child it is not quite simple. For children, simple norms are nothing more than the highest form of generalization of the surrounding reality, which allows them to draw conclusions, motivate their activities, analyze actions, and regulate behavior. And this is moral activity, the practical implementation of the content that parents put into the concepts of good and evil.

It is clear that every family strives to raise their children as worthy, good people. But do parents always achieve what they want, do their children always become what they wanted to see in the future?

It would seem that everything is fine in the family: harmony, prosperity, parents are honest workers, respected by all people, and the son or daughter grows up as an egoist, a parasite. It seems that there was no one from whom the child could adopt bad habits, inclinations that contradict the norms of our life. The origins of immorality, in our opinion, should be sought in the depths of the initial assimilation of moral norms. Simple norms of morality are not something frozen, motionless. They form the moral consciousness of the child, then they themselves are transformed by consciousness, polished by society through various channels of influence, and ultimately constitute the worldview of the individual. It would be unlawful to consider the entire system of education without the basis that constitutes simple moral norms.

The formation of the moral consciousness of the child is greatly influenced by the kindergarten, then the school, the university. But it is in the family that the initial foundations of the morality of the individual are laid. Simple norms persist throughout a person's life, although their content changes over the years, the breadth of their coverage of the phenomena of reality, their place in the system of the moral code of the individual. If at preschool age our value judgments, manifesting themselves in a specific way in the mind of the child, are brought together by him and create peculiar models of good and evil, still rather unclear, but applicable to evaluate this or that act, then at senior school age these models can become the main ones. motives for action, persuasion. Therefore, laying the foundations of moral consciousness in children, it is necessary to explain, first of all, the content of the norm, its internal social meaning.

It is good that the child does not break toys, does not throw bread on the floor, does not act up. This is what parents want. But this is not always what children want. The child wants to cry, to spin around the table, to disassemble the toy, no matter how expensive it may be. A whim is nothing but a kind of assertion of one's "I", a reaction to external influences from parents or other people. Antics at the table can be a game, a desire to attract attention to oneself, a broken doll or car can be a manifestation of inquisitiveness, a natural desire for knowledge. Since all these actions are natural for children, to the extent that they ask the standard question: why not? Why can't you jump, make noise, rattle, break and, finally, cry? In each case, you can explain to the child why it is impossible, and give an exhaustive answer, accessible and understandable. Indiscriminate prohibitions are undesirable: "I said it's impossible, so it's impossible" or suggestions like: "Father said it's impossible, but you are spinning." In this case, the parents or one of them act as unquestioning judges who know what can and cannot be done. But after all, a child also knows something about the world around him, and sometimes much more than we adults think.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky writes that "children live by their ideas of good and evil, honor and dishonor, human dignity; they have their own criteria of beauty, they even have their own measurement of time." In order not to be in the eyes of a child a person who knows only what is possible and what is impossible, apparently, it is necessary to say on occasion that it is possible to jump, but it is better in the yard, and not in the room, you can also turn around, wave your arms, but only not at the table, you can sometimes take apart a new toy, but do not break it. It is advisable to take apart this toy together with your son and show him what is buzzing or rattling in it, because if you do not do this together, then the child will do it alone. In other words, any fact, action should not be evaluated in general, but should be shown in all the variety of connections with the surrounding reality, with the life and activities of other people. Moreover, the life and activities of these people must be explained not as something frozen, but moving, alive, purposeful. Suppose a worker was making a toy and, of course, he wanted to make it beautiful, funny, so that the children would love it, so that they would like to play with it. Therefore, the toy must be handled with care. Bread must not be thrown on the floor, because it contains the labor of many people, etc.

In moral education, it is very important that in the entire material and spiritual world around us, children see a person - a worker, a creator, a creator. When a child develops respect not only for the object itself, but also for the people who made this object, a certain norm of behavior, a sense of responsibility is developed, a correct assessment of the world around is formed, then the child becomes a social being. The feeling of love of a father and mother for a son or daughter is quite understandable. Parents are ready to do everything in their power for the child: to protect him from evil, to protect him from the influence of children who, in the opinion of parents, are “bad”. They try to instill in their children the ability to correctly distinguish and recognize good and evil, fair and unworthy, truthful and false, based on their understanding of these concepts. The belief of some parents that it is possible to educate only with kindness, praise, that punishment or prohibition injures the child, destroys his nervous system, is unfounded. Meanwhile, a mother or father, knowing or not knowing about the true impact of such a pedagogical system on a child, often gives him complete freedom of action, satisfy all his desires, all his “wants”, immensely praise his abilities, intelligence, beauty. And the child gradually begins to believe that he really is. His demands become more insistent with age, narcissism, an imaginary superiority over others, is manifested in his character and behavior. The concept of "impossible" in his moral consciousness is absent, he does not consider it necessary to compare his actions with the actions of others, but he feels no responsibility to people, society. Any reasonable prohibition on the part of the collective, the restriction of growing, sometimes unreasonable desires and aspirations, the child considers as an encroachment on the individual, as an infringement of his legitimate interests. Parents, family are for him a kind of refuge from "infringements" from peers, kindergarten teachers, teachers at school, but only as long as they are able to satisfy his desires. In case of a nervous refusal, material limitation, parents are placed on a par with other "enemies". Anger is born, which over time can develop into misanthropy. There is another extreme in education - rudeness and tactlessness towards the child on the part of the parents, physical impact on him. Trying to instill certain moral concepts in their son or daughter, parents consider it necessary to prove to the child that he knows nothing, that he is physically powerless in front of adults, and only therefore must unquestioningly fulfill their requirements.

S. D. Laptenok writes that the most favorable conditions for the intellectual and moral development of the individual have been created in the Soviet family, while at the same time the family environment is internally contradictory, sometimes dramatic, and therefore gives rise not only to progressive tendencies, but also to remnants. This, in turn, leads to rather complex conflict situations that are resolved in a variety of ways. Parents should remember that in the upbringing of simple norms of morality, they bear a special responsibility, because they are the first to form these norms in the mind of the child, and reinforce them by personal example. The example of parents in the moral life of a child plays an exceptional role. You can teach a child to sit properly at the table, not to interrupt adults, to be polite with them, but good manners are far from being the surest indicator of a person's moral essence. After all, there are such concepts as "polite impudence", "moral deafness". We often judge children by their appearance, the way they treat their elders. Indeed, a neat boy, politely making way for the elder, willingly undertaking to bring a heavy bag to an old woman, attracts our attention, arouses our disposition. However, the point is not only neatness and politeness, but also what prompted him, infringing on himself, to please another. If this is an inner impulse, a norm of life, a deep conviction, then everything is in order. And if this is a stereotype of behavior, if the motive for this action is "Look how good I am"? Then it's bad.

Meanwhile, this or that stereotype of behavior is, as a rule, the result of seed education, the child's understanding of the actions of his parents, their relationships in family and social life. Often, a father or mother believes that it is enough to be sincere towards the child, but one can be hypocritical with neighbors and workmates. ... Dad is at home, and mom said on the phone that he was not there, then, smiling, she talked with a neighbor, and when she left, she called her a gossip. The child sees that there is a certain family secret, a hidden opinion about people. A natural question arises in him: why can one say one thing to the face, and another behind the eyes? Where is the truth, and did my mother do well without telling her aunt that it was ugly to gossip. Seeing a neighbor, the child wants to tell her the truth (everyone should be good, especially the elders), but he doubts whether it is possible to talk about this, because the mother does not speak. If this happened only once, then it can be forgotten, pass without a trace for the baby. What if it's a system? If such is the moral climate of the family? Then the child gets used to the idea that there are two worlds: one is internal, hidden (“this is how it should be done”), the other is external, ostentatious (“you can do this if it is beneficial”). With age, a distorted type of moral consciousness is formed in him, moral responsibility for committed actions is dulled, and personal gain becomes the determining motive for behavior. It is sometimes difficult to understand the tangled insincere relationships by adults themselves, all the more difficult to comprehend them for a child who is not tempted by life experience, who has not comprehended the complexities of human relations in society. Therefore, truthfulness, sincerity, goodwill of parents in relations with each other and in relations with others are so important in family education. At the same time, it is necessary to know the moral capabilities of your child, to be tactful, tolerant towards him.

What should be the rules of the code for a healthy and happy family?

In order to avoid stress and quarrels, it is necessary to adhere to the set of rules in the family, which we will now consider.

• The reason for creating a family is the well-being and happiness of a loved one and children. Therefore, having made the decision to marry and start a family, we must be aware that we will have to be ready for self-sacrifice;
• Love is a duel in which one must fight for who will bring happiness to another more;
• You don't need to feel sorry for yourself. You need to get used to self-giving, nobility;
• Learn to forgive. Be patient;
• Don't even try to start remodeling your other half;
• Every person is pleased to hear words of approval, gratitude and praise. Do not forget to reward your loved one with such words;
• Don't forget to use such a useful tool as a smile! It not only decorates a person, but also contributes to the creation of a favorable, positive atmosphere;
• It is important not only to understand, but also to try to recognize the difference that exists between a man and a woman;
• What do you think is the most you can do for your children? To love their mother/to love their father;
• Do not neglect the little things, because it is from them that something grandiose is built. Make each other small signs of attention;
• Try to find as many opportunities for common pastime as possible;
• Hug your other half more often, it's always nice;
• Family matters should be discussed together. Plan weekends and vacation trips together;
• In no case should you find fault, blame or condemn your loved one. Tolerance for each other's mistakes and shortcomings is the key to a long happy life together;
• Watch your emotions, control them and the intonation of your voice. Don't use a yell or commanding tone. Do not forget what rules in the family you have established;
• There is no need to remember grievances that have been forgotten and forgiven, no need to compare;
• Don't forget to consider your loved one's mood before starting a conversation of high importance;
• Self-control in marriage is a necessity. You need to learn to admit your guilt and wrong. You must be aware that you are also capable of error;
• Put yourself in the place of your spouse, learn to see the situation through the eyes of a partner;
• Do not forget that trifles are not worthy of quarrels and conflicts, truth is not born in them, this is the main point of the set of family rules;
• Try to treat the oddities of your other half with the smile of a philosopher, because oddities are inherent in everyone;
• Always remember that mutual assistance is the key to a strong and lasting family.

You can supplement this set of rules in the family, or adjust depending on the traditions of your family. Reread these rules from time to time. Especially when there is a crisis in the family.

How to properly arrange life in the family?

It is rare now to find a marriage in which the spouses are completely satisfied with each other. As a rule, married couples, after several years of marriage, begin to think about divorce. But don't get excited. You can destroy everything and always, but it is almost impossible to glue it together. Even if you remove the knife from your heart, the wound will heal and whine for a long time. But the problem is not at all about destroying or costing the relationship. First of all, it is necessary to determine the source of the collapse itself. I would like to note that, firstly, that the very fact that you need to live with another person, even if he is your loved one, is already worth a lot of effort.

Sharing life with someone is not an easy thing.. And for starters, you need to get used to the fact that you will need to give in to each other, be silent in something and quietly swallow the insult. And yet, you need to establish your own family rules that will suit you.

Indeed, no matter how much we love each other, each of us was brought up in different families, which had completely different principles and norms. Each family has its own set of rules. When two such people find themselves under the same roof, the most difficult period of time is that while this rubbing into behavior and habits takes place. It is also possible that with the time spent together, your emotions are so connected with everyday problems that you are missing something - some kind of novelty, new sensations.

At such moments, one of the spouses begins to seek such satisfaction outside the family society. This is a romantic relationship, and flirting, and even treason. Yes, such a sin is hard to forgive, but still there are things for which it is still worth sacrificing. For example, children.

Sometimes, just for the sake of these little angels or those already starting to grow up, it is worth forgiving a lot of angels. And if you manage to understand your spouse or even better, do everything in your power to prevent the worst, then, believe me, you will do better not only for yourself. At the same time, you also need to monitor your behavior, because sometimes it happens that we ourselves give our soul mate a reason to take unacceptable steps.

And if the situation is completely critical, then you can just part ways from each other for a while and have a little rest. This will give us time to think and weigh everything! Remember: your family is the result solely of your desire and your love, and you also set the rules of behavior within your family yourself.

For any group, regardless of its size and nature, rules are needed, laws and regulations, standards and regulatory procedures are needed. Without them, disorder, chaos, and conflict can ensue in the group. So what regulations and norms vital important. They help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts between people, designate rights and privileges, define what is fair and just in human relationships, provide guidelines to help people define the boundaries of their own behavior.

The question is not whether groups need rules. The groups need them. The real question is how to motivate group members to follow the rules.

Each of us at some point in life felt demotivated, not wanting to follow some rules and norms that we could not change. Not having the opportunity to participate in the development of the rule, many people feel resentment and the feeling that this rule was imposed on them. But when people are actively involved in setting a rule or making a decision, they are just more motivated to follow it. Numerous studies have been conducted confirming the effectiveness of collaborative decision making.

When children have the opportunity to participate in setting house rules or making decisions that affect their interests, the following good things happen. Children think of themselves better, their self-esteem and self-confidence grows. More importantly, they feel their own control over their lives. They feel like equal members of the family with an equal voice in decision-making and rule-making, they feel like team members, not second-class people. This means that families that function on the basis of democracy and cooperation have closer and warmer relationships than those in which adults behave like bosses or administrators, expecting children to strictly follow the rules set by the authority.

Another reason to involve all family members in decision making is that such joint work produces the highest quality solutions to problems. One head is good, but two, three, four is better. Joint decisions are based on the knowledge and experience of both adults and children.

Sure, mom or dad knows best, but does dad or mom know better than dad + mom + all their kids?

To reiterate the benefits of collaborative rule-making in the home:

• More high motivation everyone member families fulfill and observe regulations.
• Higher Quality Solutions
• Closer, warmer relationships between family members
• Increasing self-esteem, self-confidence, a sense of a sense of control over their own destiny on the part of children.
• More personal responsibility and self-discipline
• Less need for parents to enforce rules.

It is obvious that not all decisions that a family needs to make are open to joint discussion and adoption. These may be decisions that do not affect the interests of all family members or are simply not discussed (for example, they are illegal, etc.). In other words, there are some issues that are outside the zone of free discussion of rules and decisions. For example, how to distribute expenses in the family or the decision and change of work by the parent.

An important rule is that those family members whose interests will be directly affected take part in such decision-making meetings.

It is important that all members of your family agree on all issues, situations and tasks that arise within this freedom zone in your home.

The list of issues discussed may be different in each family.

Here is a list of some areas that can be discussed together:

• Time to sleep
• Household duties
• Who owns the pet and who takes care of it
• Work in the yard
• How to spend holidays, leisure time or free time with your family
• Use of car(s), bicycles, etc.
• Pocket money
• Watching TV
• Using a computer

This practice requires certain skills from adults:

• Express your own needs and concerns
• Hear others when they talk about their needs and concerns
• Ability to resolve problems and conflicts

Happy parenting to you!

Perhaps everyone will agree that the person who has a loving family is happy. But it takes a lot of work to create it. Often young people are unaware of this when they get married. The time for dates is over, and the period of grinding begins. In order to have a favorable environment at home, it is better to formulate the rules of the family in advance, which all its members will subsequently adhere to.

Family is a team

A good team not only celebrates the successes of everyone, but also shares all the failures equally. If a husband gets a promotion at work, he should be praised, told him what a fine fellow he is, that he has achieved this. The child learned to read - he is also smart, because he tried a lot, and he succeeded. And even if the wife, the spouse, and the child have made a lot of efforts to achieve these successes, they still get the opportunity to be proud of themselves. This will help raise self-esteem, believe in your strength and significance.

If one of the family members fails, there is no need to scold and blame him, he is probably upset anyway. It is better to invite them to think together about the problem and its possible solutions. You should use words like "we" and "our" instead of "your" and "mine" in your statements. After all, the family is a cell of society that unites spouses and their children.

family leader

Every team has a captain, and the family is no exception. But only one person can become a leader. If there are two of them, then the competition will begin, and even the solution of small everyday problems will end in a scandal each time. Therefore, it is necessary to clearly decide who is in charge in the family. Husband and wife should consult with each other, discuss who will take on the role of leader. It is worth discussing its functions in advance. At the same time, the leader does not decide everything for everyone, but only makes a decision based on the suggestions and wishes of other family members.

Is the head of the family a man?

Previously, no one thought about who would be the head of the family. From time immemorial, it has been a man. It was his direct duty to provide the family with everything necessary. The woman kept the family hearth, took care of the house and the upbringing of children. She received everything she needed to fulfill her tasks from the breadwinner, that is, from the man. The head of the family was responsible for everything and made the most important decisions. Today, this alignment suits many spouses, and they continue to adhere to it. On this occasion, there are no problems, and this does not prevent the family from being strong.

Can a woman be the leader?

Today, if a man proposes, this does not mean that he will unconditionally be the only economic support in the family. A woman can also perform this function. Often in modern families, only children are dependents, and spouses provide for them. If a woman also earns, especially on a par with a man, then it becomes unclear who is in charge in the family. Here, not everything is as simple as with the old way.

According to sociological research, the primacy in the family belongs to the spouse who performs regulatory and administrative functions. Most of the time this is done by the woman. She plans the family budget, organizes family consumption, takes care of upbringing and household chores. It turns out that today a woman becomes the main one in many respects, and not only in economic terms.

Who will be the head of the family?

It is worth noting that the concepts of “breadwinner” and “head of the family” are outdated. Moreover, they are absent from the Civil Code and the Constitution. Today, more and more people characterize the marital union as a family without a head. That is, a man and a woman are equally involved in decision-making and household chores. Such relationships in the family prove that it is not at all necessary to appoint a head.

family responsibilities

Everyone in the family has their own responsibilities. If they are distributed unevenly, the spouses often have disagreements and conflicts. Such contradictions can be very sharp and lead to serious consequences - to dissatisfaction with marriage. However, you need to understand that the husband and wife will still not be happy if all duties are simply divided equally. It is important that they correspond to the inclinations and character of a person, then the eternal disputes about household chores will stop. Separation should suit everyone and look fair in the eyes of the spouses.

Any duty must be performed out of love and care for each other, and not because someone needs it and is so established by the rules of the family. Examples for clarity:

1. Everyone washes the dishes for himself, because it takes a lot of time for mom, and she wants to spend it with loved ones.

2. The husband stops by the grocery store because he is on his way, and in the meantime, the wife will already start preparing dinner. The main thing is that everyone understands why they do it.

No one owes nothing to nobody

It is wrong to reduce family obligations to the word "must." For example, “I work all day, and you just sit on your neck”, “I’m spinning around the house like a squirrel in a wheel”, “You are a husband, and I am waiting for romantic evenings about you.” You can list endlessly, such phrases are heard in many families.

You need to understand that no one owes anything to anyone. Such an idea simply needs to be included in the rules of the family. If you are tired, ask your loved ones for help. If love and care reign in the house, it will not be difficult for anyone to wash the dishes or throw out the trash instead of someone else. If you want romance, you don’t need to wait and demand it from your husband, it’s enough to organize a pleasant evening yourself.

Maintain the authority of a husband or wife

If there is a child in the family, the spouses must adhere to the same parenting strategy. Children feel and see the disagreements of their parents well, so they will begin to cheat, dodge and look for concessions. If you need to solve some issue of education, then you should do it behind closed doors. That is, the growing children should not hear anything. Then the children in the family will equally respect both mom and dad.

The same goes for discussing your other half outside the home. You can not talk with other people about the shortcomings of the spouse, especially after a quarrel. You will definitely make peace, and outsiders will have a negative opinion. In this case, the authority of the spouse will be undermined.

When a child is also not allowed to say nasty things about his mom or dad. Otherwise, he will assume that the “bad” parent is not at all obligatory to obey. Remember that your spouse is the best person in the world, so his authority must be maintained. Make any decisions together. If you disagree with something, then discuss it only in private with each other.

All issues are discussed.

No need to wait for your spouse when he guesses about the problem. Maybe he doesn't even know about it. If you are tired or upset about something, be direct about it. The boss shouted - tell us about it yourself, and do not wait for questions. The carpet is dirty, and you no longer have the strength - ask your husband to vacuum, he himself may not guess.

Relationships in the family can only be built on communication. Therefore, make it a rule to discuss all existing problems. Only this should be done without scandals, screams and reproaches, in a calm tone. It is categorically impossible to keep silent about something and withdraw into oneself, trying to get away from the conflict. Such behavior will only breed mutual misunderstanding and bring problems to the extreme.

No need to be silent, accumulate negativity and irritation. Talk about your thoughts and feelings openly. The more sincerely this is done, the easier it is to understand the causes of discontent. Just do not sort things out in a state of irritation or with a tipsy spouse. It is better to wait for a more opportune moment to solve the problem.

Compromise is also an option.

A strong family is one that can resolve conflicts, not one that does not quarrel. Therefore, in disputes you do not need to stand your ground. The best option for a marital union is to think in the spirit of "win-win." That is, try to find a way out that will suit everyone, and not just one person.

For example, you started a renovation. One husband liked the floral wallpaper, and the other liked the striped wallpaper. No need to quarrel over this, look for a third option. Or you can paste over one half of the room with striped wallpaper, and make the other half into a flower. Get the original design with zoning.

Don't try to change your other half

When discussing the rules of behavior in a family, it is worth mentioning that attempts to change a husband or wife will not lead to anything good. Many people hope that things will be different after marriage, but in most cases this is not the case. For example, if a girl is uneconomic, then she may not like to cook and clean up. Or if a man abuses alcohol, it should be accepted that after marriage he will not give up this business. It is very difficult to change an adult person, and often it is simply impossible. Therefore, you need to learn to put up with the shortcomings of your spouse. If everything was fine before the wedding, then after it there should be no complaints.

Set boundaries

The family is the cell of society, which consists of a husband, wife and their children. Nobody cares about her anymore. All other relatives (fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, grandmothers, grandfathers and others) are only a part of a large family. You should not let them too deep into your life or try to please them in everything. If your parents don’t like something in your other half, but everything suits you, then you should tell them about it and gently ask them not to interfere in the relationship. Also, you should not allow relatives to look into closets, rearrange things or read mail, unless, of course, you yourself ask for it.

After the birth of a child, a newly-made grandmother very often practically settles in the house. She constantly climbs with advice on how to properly care for the baby. However, family rules say that boundaries must be set. For example, let the grandmother visit her grandchildren on certain days. You can ask her to do specific things: take a walk with the baby, stroke the diapers, and so on. So the grandmother will be busy, and there will be less unnecessary advice.

Respect and patience for parents

It is necessary to set boundaries, but do not forget about respect for the people who raised you and your other half. It is unacceptable to discuss the shortcomings of the parents with the spouse. It is better to focus on their good qualities. Surely the second mother cooks delicious cabbage soup, and dad is very economic. You need to delimit the territory and talk with your spouse, if only the parents become too intrusive and begin to interfere with family life.

Don't forget to communicate

Perhaps many will agree that the most important thing in a family is respect and ... love. It mostly manifests itself in relationships and communication. Therefore, you do not need to bury yourself in routine matters and forget about each other. Try to find time at least for conversations. It's very simple - just turn off the TV or look away from the computer monitor. It's great if there is an opportunity to get out somewhere with your spouse: go to the movies or just take a walk in the park. From time to time arrange romantic evenings for each other.

Code of moral rules in the family

Each family should have a clear list of rules that will be known to each of its members. Moreover, they should apply not only to parents, but also to children, so that they grow up well-mannered and decent. If certain conditions are not met, then you can point to a miss. However, this must be done in a friendly and tactful manner. There should not be too many rules, otherwise the importance of the list will be lost. Also, there should be no contradictions in it, so that it is clear what needs to be done and what should not be done.

For example, you can enter the following five family rules that must be strictly observed:

• love and respect each other;
• help and support in every possible way;
• do not criticize others;
• speak only the truth;
• to fulfill promises.

Of course, each family will have its own list of rules. It doesn't have to be for the rest of your life. The list can and should be supplemented or changed depending on the circumstances.