Friendship in a relationship between a man and a woman. Between friendship and love. Why We Choose Opposite Sex Friends

14.10.2019

Most people call friendship a “loveless” relationship, and love usually means sex. Consider what friendship is within this worldview.

Women are much more often convinced that such relationships with men are real, citing as examples Vasya, Petya, Dima, with whom they have been friends for many years. Men are more likely to doubt that women can just be friends. When a woman says “This is my friend,” she usually does not mean her lover. When a man says, “This is my friend,” he is usually talking about his mistress.

Where does this difference in perception come from?

Let's start with the basics. Nature created two sexes and endowed them with attraction to each other, that is, the desire to have sex. This means that any acquaintance or communication between a sexually mature man and a woman always implies the possibility of sexual contact. If friendship is communication without sex, then it is obvious that between a man and a woman it is possible in the following cases: 1. Both are sexually satisfied with someone else Formally, marriage falls under the first point, and it seems like a married man and a married woman can be friends. But it's not a fact that they are doing well in sex with their “halves”. 2. Both are homosexuals As for the second point, many women say that gay people are best friends. However, if a woman is heterosexual, then why can't she have attraction to a gay man? As much as you can. The same goes for straight men and lesbians. Let's move on to the options for conditional friendship between the sexes - they are most often called Friendship with a capital letter and without any quotes. 3. A man and a woman do not have the opportunity to have sex due to any restrictions Restrictions are of two types - physical and moral. With the physical, everything is simple - it is, for example, a large distance between people - they live in different cities or even countries. And due to the impossibility of meeting, they have to "make friends" virtually, remotely. But moral conditions are the main key to understanding the topic. The most famous are socio-psychological attitudes, of which women have much more than men - it happened historically. They all boil down to the fact that "sex is bad", and often the negative is transferred to the manifestation of feelings, and to love. Attraction is taboo, suppressed, repressed. The marriage mentioned above is an excellent attitude: sex outside of marriage is treason, it is bad to cheat, which means that you can only be friends with people of the opposite sex. An even more archaic program: sex before marriage is bad. A softer option is that you cannot meet with two lovers (mistresses) at once, and if there is one partner, then the other is not possible somewhere on the side. At the same time, again, a person does not care whether he is satisfied in sex with his chosen one, and, even if not, it is still impossible to cheat and cheat. Now let's dig a little deeper and take a limitation called "a person is not sexually attracted." There is a free man and a free woman. He wants her, but she does not reciprocate. And he offers: "I can only be friends with you." What's the matter here? This is most likely fear of sex and blocking of feelings - a deep taboo based on past experience. A woman is afraid of intimacy, believing that sex without love is wrong, and love does not arise from the same fear. It’s scary that a man “dies and quits”, a relationship with him will lead to collapse and suffering, and in general, sex is already serious, and we know little, and so on. Sometimes a woman really needs time to swing and overcome awkwardness, in which case what begins as "friendship" can develop into intimacy. And it happens that a person really can not cause attraction - unconscious attitudes are triggered, which protect the reproductive instinct. If a person, in the opinion of another, is ugly, unkempt, smells strange, has physical defects, then nature “forbids” the continuation of the race with him, and any sex is a potential continuation of the race. It happens that social complexes interfere - for example, a man is not rich or a woman is much lower than his status. Why “make children” with such a partner? This is not in line with the norms of society. 4. Man and woman change roles Consider the point related to the reversal of roles in a relationship. There are a lot of such cases of conditional friendship - a man plays the role of a "friend" for a woman (although he is not gay at all), or a woman plays a role of "her boyfriend" for a man. Indeed, immature, infantile men can be smart, beautiful, empathetic and even rich, but a woman is not sexually attracted to them. But to be friends with such a man is a pleasure: he will understand, and help, and console. The second option is a kind of fight-woman, a strong, intelligent, domineering woman. A man with the same qualities sees her not in his bed, but in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka or with a puncher in his hands. In fact, a sissy man or a female terminator are variants of asexual friends, from whom they take trust, loyalty, support - properties inherent in ordinary friendship between same-sex people. 5. A person deliberately keeps people of the opposite sex at a distance Here all the same restrictions work, plus an additional desire - to surround yourself with as many male friends (female attitude) or female friends (male attitude) as possible. This is due both to the reproductive instinct - to have more males or females, potentially ready at any time for intercourse, and to the dependence on attention from the opposite sex, which is decidedly lacking and you want more - but only up to a certain limit. This is already close to the psychological sado-maso - "you can want me, but you won't get anything, but I love and appreciate you as a friend, that is, as a sexless creature." So, the overwhelming majority of "friendly" relations between a man and a woman exist because of certain restrictions and sexual complexes. And it is important to understand that attraction between “friends” of different genders will still be - no matter how diligently they suppress it. Because this is the most powerful natural instinct. Therefore, sex is a serious socio-psychological compromise. Even if all the needs of people are satisfied in it, except for the sexual one, it only means that people are afraid of sex or, as they say, they are afraid to “spoil everything”. Or we return to point 1 - our friends have sex in full abundance somewhere else. But after all, nothing lasts forever: today he is, and tomorrow the love relationship is cracking. And I want to have sex with someone ... and here at hand - a friend. And if there are no restrictions on point 3, then the former friendship will quickly turn into violent sex, because "well, how much can you just communicate and hide that we like each other." Such cases are darkness. There are no fewer cases when, for example, a woman loses a relationship with a loved one or divorces her husband. And after that, all her male friends abruptly cease to be friends and begin to actively hint at the desire to have sex with her. They just waited for the restriction "a woman belongs to another" disappears, and the woman is surprised by these former friends, because they so carefully concealed their sexual interest in her. A man always sees a woman in a woman. A woman always sees a man in a man. This is an axiom. You can “go blind” and not see it consciously or unconsciously, you can not see for a while, or you simply don’t want to see. Then a compromise arises, which in society is usually called friendship. And any compromise often smacks of hypocrisy.

Another point of view on friendship between people

Friendship is a feeling of boundless trust in another person. This is an unconditional and deep faith in him, this is mutual understanding and mutual acceptance of the other as he is. This feeling can arise between anyone - parent and child, brother and sister, work colleagues, friends with the same interests. Regardless of gender, age and social status.

Numerology by date of birth is a wonderful one that allows you to find out all the features and subtleties of the character of your loved one. An analysis of compatibility by date of birth is the key to a successful and harmonious relationship.

1250 rub And in all these cases, friendship is the basis of love. And in the case of a relationship between a man and a woman - too. It's just that there is one "little" add-on called sex drive. And in same-sex friendship or love between relatives, it is not. Friendship is the foundation of any love. Love is an exchange of feelings. Sex is a kind of exchange between a man and a woman. And there is no contradiction when it comes to true friendship. Therefore, there are not many friends - there can be many friends, acquaintances, just good people around. Therefore, the friendship between a man and a woman, in fact, can be called love. And the convention about which this article is written and which is usually called friendship is an illusion. It simply doesn't exist.

Humanity faces a lot of important questions, many of which still remain unanswered. Today there are quite a lot of different discussions and disputes on the topic of whether there is friendship between a man and a woman. Psychology and other sciences departing from it are not similar in their opinions, however, we believe that it is everyone's personal business - to believe in such a relationship or not. But still, let's try to understand this issue.

Is there a friendship between a man and a woman?

Psychology and sciences in the field of interpersonal relations do not have such a term as friendship between the sexes. Scientists believe that usually a woman suffers from such a relationship and does not feel her freedom even when she does not have any love affairs. In addition, friends simply cannot help but like them outwardly. Usually these are people who agree on characters, interests, temperaments, outlook on life, and so on. Therefore, most psychologists, when answering the question of whether friendship between a man and a woman is possible or not, tend to give a negative answer.

How does friendship arise between the sexes?

It is generally accepted that most often a guy and a girl are formed after the first one has a sexual interest, but then he realizes that nothing will shine for him and becomes just a friend. In such an alliance, a representative of the stronger sex needs to be careful, especially if he is married or has his soul mate, because he will most likely be jealous of such a friend, and because of this, quarrels can often arise. Usually men believe that if they have agreed to be friends with a woman, they can tell her absolutely everything from their life.

Eliminates almost any fact of the existence of such a sincere friendship, but in life you can still meet it. These relationships do not have rivalry and envy, and often a guy and a girl not only support each other, but also help with advice from the opposite sex. Some of the fair sex believe that such a friend will not betray, and if they do not have one, then secretly dream of him. Although many may argue that in this friendly relationship, one must definitely feel sympathy or even in love.

Development of a relationship

However, after a while, any girl and guy may have affection, and after that - passion, love. And the first stage of this will be precisely the friendship between a man and a woman. Psychology does not deny that the strongest relationships begin with friendships, therefore, such a concept as friendly sex is not excluded, because it is very convenient. At first, one of the two will notice that there is a wonderful person next to him, and then flirting will arise. Further, of course, in each individual case, things will develop in different ways, but finding a good friend of the opposite sex is real happiness. If you do not want such a friendship to develop into something more serious, then do not forget to remind your friend of this from time to time. In principle, the friendship between a man and this relationship is an expansion of the horizons for both. Guys get more information about the girly world in general. They begin to understand what is better to say and what to do to please the opposite sex. And the main thing is how to do it easier and faster.

Many people wonder if there is friendship between a man and a woman. Very often, in such a relationship, at least one of the two hopes for the further development of events and has deeper feelings for the partner. This is what is often the reason for the destruction of friendly relations between a man and a woman. Can both of them have purely friendly feelings for each other? You can find out the opinions of psychologists on this score from this article.

Each of us has our own experience of friendship with the opposite sex - it was from this experience that we formed an opinion whether there is friendship between a man and a woman or not. There is no definite answer to this question. All people are different - someone is capable of friendly relations with the opposite sex, and someone always counts on a more serious relationship. Very often it is the man who is not able to maintain friendship with the woman for too long.

In addition, the concept of friendship differs greatly from person to person. Some people have a wide circle of acquaintances, with each of whom they manage to see each other once every six months, but they are still considered friends. Other people prefer two or three close friends, the depth of the relationship with whom can easily be compared to a love relationship.

However, in some cases, friendship between a man and a woman is possible in either format. The only difference is that two people can interpret signs of attention in different ways: one will consider sincere conversations or expensive gifts a sign of a desire for a love relationship, while for the other it will simply be a strong friendship.

Why is friendship between a man and a woman possible?

Friendship between a man and a woman in psychology is considered normal. In this case, friendship should mean any close trusting relationship that does not have a romantic connotation. When are such friendships most likely?

Friendship between ex-spouses or lovers is the most common example proving that such a relationship is possible. Friendship between a man and his ex-woman, or vice versa, is easier to build than friendship between people of different sexes who have never been in a romantic relationship. The reason for this is that, in fact, their mutual interest has already been satisfied, they have passed the stage of a romantic relationship, which differs from friendship in the presence of sensual attraction. In addition, the former spouses or lovers must have a lot in common: especially if they have lived together for a long time. It is the former spouses who often know each other best, are able to support in a difficult situation, give valuable advice or simply have a conversation on common topics.

Friendship often also develops between a married man and a woman. It is important that both were married, or, at least, were in a serious relationship, otherwise one of the friends' attempts to redirect friendly communication into a romantic channel are not excluded. If both are happily married, the friendship between a man and a woman can be strong enough. Usually, these friendships are based on common interests or hobbies that people do not share with their spouses. Indeed, common hobbies often become the basis for strong friendship, and it does not matter what gender the friend is, if both have good families. Also, such friendships often arise at work, for example, between colleagues and business partners. However, it is worth noting that such a friendship is only possible if both are monogamous.
Some people manage to be friends with the opposite sex without being former spouses and not having a permanent partner at the moment. These are people of a certain temperament: they usually, in general, have many friends and relationships for them are not the whole life, but only a part of life.

Why do we choose friends of the opposite sex?

Sometimes friendship between a man and a woman arises by chance: it's just that a person with whom you have a lot in common turned out to be of the opposite sex. However, you are interested in precisely his human qualities, and you do not see him as a man or a woman. Sometimes, however, a person deliberately chooses friends of the opposite sex. With what it can be connected?

Often, friends of the opposite sex are preferred by people who are prone to narcissism, who simply do not have enough attention. They may be monogamous people who prefer a serious relationship with one person, but they enjoy being around men or women in order to feel their own attractiveness. No matter how we try not to notice gender differences in friendship, focusing attention on the personality of a person, these differences are still there, and to some extent they determine the nature of even friendly relations. For example, a woman in a men's company will always have a special attitude, even if they are just friends of interest, not interested in a closer relationship.

People who are prone to narcissism also often make friends of the opposite sex, not only to feel their own worth, but also so that others would consider them more attractive, or to make their partner jealous.
Often times, people make friends of the opposite sex simply because they feel more comfortable with them. It is not uncommon for women to choose male friends for this reason. The fair sex is often disappointed in female friendships when faced with gossip and intrigue - they lack the directness and honesty that they hope to get from a male friend. Men, on the other hand, can get tired of persistence and straightforwardness in the circle of friends, so they begin to communicate with women, expecting from them flexibility, gentleness of character and the ability to look at the situation from different angles.
Often women choose men as friends, and men choose women, because they can give very good and effective advice in relationships. A woman friend can help a man better understand and develop a relationship with his significant other, and a man friend can help a woman understand the needs of her partner. It is on this basis that many come together. Friends of the opposite sex can help you see a romantic relationship from another angle and make the right decisions.

Why is there no friendship between a man and a woman?

Many are of the opinion that such a friendship simply does not exist, or that it lasts for a very short time. Sometimes these judgments are based on our own bad experiences, and sometimes - simply on the generally accepted idea that there is always an attraction between a man and a woman. There is a rational grain in this: indeed, any relationship with the opposite sex will differ from relationships with members of the same gender, whether it be friendship, love, business or friendship. Why is friendship between a man and a woman such a difficult relationship that many consider it simply impossible?

Many people dispute the notion that divorce or a breakup in a romantic relationship is a good breeding ground for friendship. They assume that in most cases one of the partners is the initiator of the breakup. Perhaps both saw the need for separation, but rarely both partners are equally eager to end the relationship. Therefore, very often one of the spouses wants to return his ex or ex. Accordingly, one of the partners considers the relationship as purely friendly, while the other makes attempts to translate the relationship into a romantic channel. If both are not initially interested in this, then it is extremely rare - in most cases, even friendship is destroyed due to such aspirations.

Even if both friends are married or in a serious long-term relationship, quarrels, disagreements and misunderstandings often occur in these very relationships. People often discuss family problems with their friends. A friend of the opposite sex may seem like the perfect conversationalist for personal relationships, because they can give good advice and suggest what the situation looks like from a different perspective. However, often romantic attraction between people arises precisely on the basis of discussing family problems. Dialogues with any people are usually very intense emotionally, so it can be difficult to calm down, consider the situation logically and just understand the other person. Dialogues with friends are calmer and more relaxed - in such an atmosphere it is much easier to both convey your thoughts and see someone else's perspective. Therefore, it may seem that your friend of the opposite sex understands you perfectly, and you want something more than just friendship.
Life situations are very different: people begin or end romances, they remain alone, quarrel with their soul mates, or cannot find a worthy replacement for their former partners. If you've been friends with someone of the opposite sex for long enough, you've probably thought about romantic relationships with them at least a couple of times. Sometimes these ideas can seem very seductive, especially if they have a difficult breakup or a long period without a relationship. Sometimes these desires can lead to a strong relationship, and sometimes they just ruin the friendship.

Sex and friendship between a man and a woman

Sex and friendship between a man and a woman is another common format of relationships. In this case, such friendships are even more difficult to distinguish from relationships. In fact, it is very difficult to distinguish them from the outside, because each of us has different concepts of both relationships and friendship. Nevertheless, several criteria can be distinguished that distinguish a full-fledged romance from friendship and sex:

Lack of a romantic component in a relationship. Most couples go through the so-called candy-bouquet period. In friendship, there are no long courtships, trips to restaurants, gifts and other signs of attention, although sex may be present. Also, in relationships, tactile contact during the day is more important for people, people kiss or hug, and this usually does not happen within the framework of friendships.

The lack of joint plans for the future is another significant criterion by which friendship sex can be distinguished from a full-fledged relationship. Friends can easily part for a long period if there is such a need - for example, if one of them has moved or is busy at work for days. Also, friends can discuss with each other their future relationships and families, not including each other in these plans.
Lack of jealousy also characterizes friendship sex. Some people have more than one sexual partner - in a relationship this is unacceptable in most cases, and if you have friendship sex, your partner will most likely accept this situation as normal.

What is the difficulty of this format of relations? It should be borne in mind that sex can be the first step towards romance. Many of us subconsciously associate intimacy with a serious relationship, and this can be difficult to ignore. Therefore, such relationships, based on friendship and sex, more often than others develop into something more or simply end.

How to tell if friendship is developing into love?

Many of us, while in friendly relations with members of the opposite sex, paid attention to unequivocal hints or excessive courtship, fearing that our partner was experiencing deeper feelings, and the friendship could collapse. Since each of us has different ideas about friendship and relationships, it can be very difficult to draw the line. For some, a compliment or an unexpected gift may be considered a normal friendly gesture, while others perceive it as part of a romantic relationship.

If you need to determine whether a person has deeper affection for you, you can focus on the following criteria. At the same time, keep in mind that the criteria may vary, because it all depends on the character of a particular person:

Gifts and surprises for no reason are a reason to be on your guard. Especially if such surprises are systematic. Of course, it is possible that a person just wants to please you - this option is especially relevant if you are in a difficult life situation, then a friend's increased attention to yourself should be regarded as support and care. On the other hand, courtesies on an ongoing basis can indicate deeper feelings - especially if these courtesies are romantic in nature - for example, flowers and trips to restaurants.
Overly expensive gifts can be another reason to be wary. Of course, everything here depends on the financial situation of your friend - perhaps he just wants to please you and can afford it. But gifts that a person can hardly afford to give often testify to love.
The person seeks to maintain daily contact with you, at least through phone calls and correspondence. Usually, friends do not need to communicate constantly, such a need indicates that the person misses you. If, among other things, your partner wants to spend as much of their free time with you, this can also be a sign of strong affection.
Jealousy is perhaps one of the main and obvious criteria. It practically does not depend on the character of a person - if a person falls in love, he will most likely be jealous. The difficulty lies only in the fact that it is difficult to verify - you will have to specifically create situations that can make your friend jealous. Even so, there is no guarantee that your friend won't be good at pretending to be indifferent.

There is a lot of controversy about friendship between a man and a woman. Its ability depends on the nature and habits of people, as well as on their ideas about relationships. It is important that all participants in the relationship are comfortable, and also that everyone perceives the situation in the same way. If you have doubts, whether it's friendship or something more, no means will be more effective than frank conversation.

Video: "Friendship between a man and a woman"

"Friendship between a man and a woman is a relationship of former or future lovers," Bernard Shaw used to say. "This is an impossible thing," - said Oscar Wilde - "Between a man and a woman there can be passion, enmity, adoration, love, but not friendship." “If a man and a woman are friends, at least one of them secretly makes plans for the other,” the rumor goes. Is this so or the classics are cruelly mistaken for the company with folk wisdom?
They say that friendship between a man and a woman is possible only in childhood.

Friendship between a man and a woman: no chance?

Is there a friendship between a man and a woman strong and pure, "uncomplicated sex"? Sadly, psychologists believe that the chances of finding one are slim. The statistics are harsh: in about 90% of cases, such a friendship ends in bed, even if both partners sincerely believed that there was "nothing like this" between them.

Who is to blame for the fact that a relationship that began innocently ends with a passionate love story or an offensive fat point? Let's agree right away that we do not consider a situation in which friendship covers a way to stay close to the object of passion or to keep a fan playing the role of an alternate airfield in the friend zone, because this is not friendship.

A relationship between a man and a woman always has a chance to grow into love.

True attachment is destroyed by other mechanisms.

1. Intimacy. It is not for nothing that psychology calls the close friendship between a man and a woman latent intimacy. Revealing our secrets to someone and learning his secrets, discussing deeply personal issues, we, against our will, begin to feel a special affection for a person, which seems to many to be love, and sometimes really develops into it. This is especially true for women who tend to be led by emotions.

2. Lack of understanding with a love partner... Whom should you go to for consolation when your relationship with your beloved is cracking? Naturally, to a friend who will listen, support, and not condemn. However, the intimate partner at this moment turns out to be "overboard": difficulties are not discussed with him, the problem is not solved, the abyss is widening, while the bonds of friendship are growing stronger, gradually ousting the former lover from the life of the person. The situation is exacerbated by the jealousy of the partner who feels neglected, and this only brings the breakup closer. Well, there the first point comes into play.

3. Instincts. Say what you like, but physiology has not been canceled even in certain situations - for example, when both are hot with alcohol - a friend can unexpectedly transform into an attractive woman or a sexy guy. The only question is how it will end: the transition of relations to a different level or remorse, shame and parting.

An interesting fact. According to a poll conducted by the Wisconsin Institute, almost 100% of men prefer to build friendships with women who are sexually attractive to them, even if they have no plans to translate the relationship "on a horizontal plane."

You can't be friends, you can't fall in love - where to put a comma

And yet, exceptions do happen.

Well, there is no friendship between a man and a woman?

It happens. Our relationship is so good because it is unpredictable and has thousands of possible development options. In fairness, it should be said that friendship between representatives of different sexes, which never crossed the dangerous line and did not come to naught over time, is an extremely rare phenomenon. But possible under certain conditions.

What circumstances increase the chances of a man and a woman to maintain strong affection, not flavored with notes of intimacy?

1. One of them (usually a man) has an unconventional orientation - that is, the likelihood of a spark between friends is reduced to zero. Such was the relationship between the author of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" Truman Capote and his childhood friend Harper Lee, who wrote the acclaimed book "To Kill a Mockingbird".

Risk: practically absent.

2. Both are happy in marriage or long-term reliable relationships with other people.

Risk: jealousy of a love partner, transfer of emotional attachment from a husband / wife to a friend.

3. Friendship was born from unsuccessful love relationships that ended without scandals and recriminations. Passion is satisfied, the former partner no longer acts as an object of sexual attraction, but good memories and knowledge of each other's ins and outs contribute to the establishment of intimacy.

Risk: one of the friends may have the idea of "starting all over again", starting a new round of relations according to the old scenario.

The temptation to return to the past may be too strong.

4. Each of the partners has experienced a painful love fiasco with another person in the past, and the rapprochement has occurred on the basis of similar experiences.

Risk: on the basis of "we understand each other so well" many couples, previously linked by friendship, have come together.

5. Both partners are in adulthood, when hormones no longer control a person's actions with the same strength, superficial connections have dropped out, but ties have strengthened with those people who are truly interesting and close.

Risk: Love for all ages. Even in a nursing home, sometimes serious passions boil.

6. A significant age difference has led to the emergence of friendship-patronage, which arises when one of the partners, as it were, takes on the function of a parent and takes care of a less experienced ward. It can be assumed that it was on this basis that the relationship between Mark Twain and the deaf-blind writer Helen Keller, who was the same age as her eminent friend's daughter, was born.

Risk: and such a friendship is not immune to flowing into a completely different plane, say, a parent-child love story.

How to tell love from friendly affection

Sometimes we find it difficult to understand even our own emotions.

How to understand if there is friendship between a man and a woman, or is there a more fervent feeling behind it? After all, it often happens that we ourselves do not know our desires, mistaking a veiled sexual attraction for an innocent interest in a person's personality?

Try a miniature self-psychoanalysis session and honestly answer your questions.

1. How do you feel about intimate partners of a friend? Have you caught yourself in fits of jealousy, dressed in the noble form of "could / could have found better"? And you yourself have not heard attacks on your beloved?

2. Are you making an equal contribution to the relationship? If one of two friends is ready to rush to help at any time of the day or night, while the second only accepts his care, giving nothing in return, it means that the first one either fell into the trap of a clever manipulator, or hopes with his altruism to deserve something more than friendship.

3. Is your communication style typical of hints of intimacy: kisses on the cheek, hugs, regular pats on the back, light flirting, conversations and jokes about sex?

4. Do you spend more time with your boyfriend / girlfriend than with your spouse?

If you answered firmly “No-Yes-No-No”, chances are that you happened to be in that lucky 10% of men and women who learned the bonds of true friendship. If in doubt, there is something to think about.

Love has come, what to do?

Continuing to feign friendship by falling in love is a masochist occupation.

We are connected with friends by spiritual closeness, community of interests, mutual respect and the opportunity to be ourselves, without trying to impress another. This is a great basis for the birth of love in a couple that are not bound by belonging to the same gender.

Favorable forecast of the development of events: each of you will find in another an understanding, time-tested loved one.

Unfavorable: Your partner will not reciprocate, and one of you will leave the relationship with a broken heart.

What should you do when you realize that your former friendship is ripe to grow into love? If you:

both are free;
are not afraid to take risks -

- take the risk of starting a frank conversation, after which the relationship will either end (but with little blood and before it goes too far), or love will take their place.

However, think three times if:

one of you is currently in a relationship;
you are not sure about your feelings.

Here it is much wiser to take a break and find a plausible reason to temporarily break off contacts with a friend or girlfriend who has brought confusion to your feelings. Without meeting, without talking on the phone and without sending SMS, you will rather understand yourself and make the right decision - love or friendship.

Video: Is friendship between a guy and a girl possible?

Useful video from Denis Kostash:

Despite the quotes of the classics given at the beginning of the article about the impossibility of friendship between a man and a woman, history often proved the opposite to us. And no matter what statistics, psychology and personal experience broadcast, exceptions to the rule always happen. No one will say what your future friendship will hold. Do you value her? So continue to be friends and see how it all ends. Perhaps you are destined to break the statistics of psychologists?

At all times, mankind was worried about the question: is there friendship between a man and a woman? There is no answer to it to this day. It is, rather, a rhetorical question, completely individual. It should be noted right away that the object of discussion is not an intermediate friendship from acquaintance to a full-fledged relationship. Namely, a friendly, friendly relationship that does not imply a romantic outcome. The opinions of psychologists are fundamentally different from each other. Some are convinced that friendship is not gender-based. Others argue that physical attraction is at the core of any relationship. And, sooner or later, platonic love will grow into physical.

What is friendship?

Some people have a distorted concept of friendship. As a result of this, a wrong understanding of love relationships is formed. The line between platonic and romantic relationships is blurring. Therefore, friendship between a man and a woman ceases to be a possible option. So, friendship is called disinterested, trusting relationships built on common interests, communication, respect, fun pastime.

There are a number of key differences between friendships and other types of feelings:

Unselfishness. Friendships are formed without further benefit to anyone. If one succeeds in something, the other is only happy with his achievements. If there are failures along the way, friends experience them together. No envy, no benefit, no use.
Equality. There is no hierarchy principle (like in a family, at work). Partners are equal to each other.
Frankness. True friends share their experiences with each other, openly show emotions. No one will ridicule the revelation.
Naturalness. Friends never wear masks, never pretend. They are what they are. And pretense is unnecessary, inappropriate.
Freedom. Comrades do not violate everyone's personal space. Communication occurs only when both want it.

If these conditions are met, communication is easy, without imposing, you can safely talk about friendship between a man and a woman. But, the line between camaraderie and romance is very thin. It is not easy to recognize. It is even more difficult not to step over her to the opposite sexes.

How to tell friendship from romance?

How to distinguish a simple friendship from an impending love? A distinctive feature of romanticism is sexual attraction in a partner, which manifests itself on the part of the sensual sphere. The purpose of a romantic relationship is to build a family. Therefore, at the inception of a physical attraction to a man or a woman, there is no need to talk about friendship.

If love begins to emerge between friends, the interests of one are put above the interests of the other. The emergence of hierarchy, subordination violates one of the basic principles of like-mindedness - equality. The partner in love begins to do everything to please the other. He puts on masks, becomes good. So, a man can assume the role of a guardian, protector, and a woman - a hostess, seductress. All these masks and roles discredit the principle of naturalness.

Oftentimes, people in love have false expectations for their chosen one. And when these expectations are not met, they are upset, disappointed. In this case, the principle of freedom, disinterestedness is violated. These are the main differences between love and friendship. The sooner "friends" recognize them, the better it will be for both.

Having studied the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman, you can understand what you need. If the partner is not looking for love or sex, friendship will only bring benefits - communication, rewarding experience, development. If a man or woman noticed that sexual attraction begins to appear, and you want to maintain friendship, you should adhere to the following tips from a psychologist:

Remember that you are friends;
Do not flirt with a friend, do not give ambiguous compliments;
Don't shop together (don't play family relationships);
Maintain a distance in communication;
Tell a friend / girlfriend that a place in your heart is taken.

Why do men value friendship with a woman?

Both a man and a woman expect understanding, support, trust, help, and a pleasant pastime from such a relationship. But, a man who is friends with a girl also receives a kind of psychological release from a psychotherapy session. After all, who, if not a friend, will tell you what girls like, how to dress for the first date, what to give for the birthday of your beloved?

Women are empathetic, soulful creatures. In them, a man will always find support, useful advice. Due to courtesy and attentiveness, a man feels like a leader in a female environment. Therefore, like-mindedness with a woman gives him confidence, increases self-esteem. Also, a long-term friendship with a girl helps a man to understand the feminine nature, essence. This is a great theoretical experience for building a romantic relationship.

Why do women prefer friendship with a man?

Men have developed logical thinking. They soberly assess any situation, without emotion. Therefore, girls will always find support, good advice from a male friend. In addition, a man is always sincere. They are not trying to compete with their friend, to look her best. They are what they are. This makes it much easier for some girls to surround themselves with boyfriend friends.

In addition, the representatives of the stronger sex, in most cases, are reliable and responsible. They will come to the rescue day and night. You can always rely on them. Friendship with a man gives a woman an understanding of the opposite sex, which helps in building a love relationship. And communication with a guy greatly expands the horizons, carries away in interesting dialogues, discussions.

Friendship between man and woman is real

World psychologists argue that friendly relations between opposite sexes are quite possible. This is indicated by a sociological survey. So, 62% of the population either believe in friendship between the sexes, or have such a relationship. But, nevertheless, there is a line in such feelings. So, a friendly alliance between a guy and a girl is possible only if the following parameters are observed:

One of the friends, or both, have an amorous relationship with others;
No sex drive;
No sex;
Both wish to preserve their relationship with each other;
Partners are friends in pairs, families.

It is worth dwelling on the last point in more detail. The spouse does not always welcome the close relationship of his beloved with the opposite sex. Jealousy takes its toll, and the friendship ends. On the other hand, the other half should think about it. If a married girl or a married young man needs communication with the other sex, perhaps the couple lacks spiritual intimacy, there is a spiritual distance between them.