New funny stories from life to read. Funny stories from life

16.07.2019

We were here at the Darwin Museum. This is where about evolution. The museum is great, but that's not the point now. There is a hall where the emergence of man is shown. And we went into it from the wrong side and immediately saw a showcase, where a modern person (figure). He is represented in the kitchen, in clothes, sitting at the table and for some reason there is a pack of cigarettes in front of him. In my opinion, stupid, but again, this is not about that. A mother and daughter, about ten years old, walked next to us. The girl saw the cigarettes and asked: "What are the cigarettes for?" Mother melancholy replies that it probably could not have been done, but this is typical for today. Then we all move on to showcases where ancient people are. The girl looks at the Neanderthal and cries out: "What a terrible he is! 2 Mother also notes melancholy:" But I did not smoke! "

A friend of mine grew up as a frail, skinny and sickly boy, with colds, pneumonia, allergies, and beginning asthma. When the time came to surrender to the army, he, of course, was not taken to the combat units, but sent to the troops with "facilitated conditions of passage." Stroybat. Kind commanders provided treatment in the form of laying pipelines in the Belarusian swamps, winter trips in the back and other pleasures. Now this bull under 2 meters in height and 100 kg in weight for 20 years does not remember what a disease is.

I am standing at the crossroads (with my feet standing!), I decided to call my wife. I am typing. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a young woman next to her phone rang and she put it to her ear. The wife is "out of reach." I put my hand down. At the same time, the call from the blonde is interrupted. So she turns to me with the words: - Man! You just called me ...

It was in the late nineties, when computers did not yet decorate (or disfigure) almost every home. We then worked with a friend in trade - we were selling books from a tray. We are sitting, the end of the day, there are no buyers, we are bored. Sasha leafing through some expensive autobiography in a glossy cover, out of idleness began to read it. Ten minutes later he says indignantly:

Think about it, the guy dropped out of Harvard and started programming! I would have killed him in the place of his parents!

I take the book from her, look at the author's name and surname and cautiously wonder:

Sash, do you, in general, know who Bill Gates is?

According to my friend. He studies at one Minsk university. The end of the semester, but there is no credit in physical education, and where does it come from when you have not been in more than one lesson. They decided with a classmate to bring the teacher a present in the form of a bottle of vodka (or two, I don’t remember exactly).

Well, they come to him, they say, they would get a test, but so and so we are hard-core non-attendants. He gave them no credit. They shove him a bag, but he refuses - he says I don’t take bribes. Somehow they persuaded him, he took the record books. And put the vodka in the cupboard, he says. They open the closet, and there are already about thirty bottles. And what kind of sport can we talk about after that?

We have one little man at work. I will call him Mikhalych for disguise, and this name suits him for years. So this Mikhalych is a big drinker, in the sense of not getting drunk like a pig, but it's stable, a little bit all day long. But, most importantly, that all day and every day. For this, he also has a flask, which he constantly refills and from where he sips with the same consistency. Well, and if there is a "corporate party" at work, then he is the first regular at it. So it was before the first of May. We gathered, a strong team, to celebrate this event. Mikhalych is right there, as always, already on edge and with a glass. They slammed one at a time, his cell phone rang, the message came. He read it and began to groan, gasp and lament, well, we go to him, they say, what and how? Its presentation:

I gave my granddaughter a present for my birthday. He's in the second grade, but smart, just creepy. I dealt with my pipe for six months, and he mastered it in two days, although he has a better model. He knows and understands everything. Now look what he writes to me: "Grandpa will stop drinking, go home!" That's how he knows that I drink, maybe he is also a telepath with us ?!

The employee told. Morning. Not that early, but still morning ... The minibus is right and takes her to work quickly enough. In the same minibus, mother is taking a child of about five years old to kindergarten. The kid is capricious and makes noise all over the minibus ... Mom, to calm him down, says - "I'll give you either an apple, or a cookie, or a candy if you shut up. What do you choose?" To which the baby answers quite seriously - "I choose safe sex."

My friend Katka told. Stays at home. Phone ring. Picks up the phone: - Alla. From the tube: - Ugh !!! - and short beeps. Katka is in confusion. A call in half a minute. Picks up the phone: - Alla. There: - Ugh damn it !!! - and beeps. Katka is in complete confusion. A call in half a minute. Picks up the phone: - Alla? From the tube the voice of her friend:

Ugh you damn it !!! Katya, think, I want to call there, but for the third time on autopilot I dial your number!

An acquaintance told about her dog of the Miniature Pinscher breed (my daughter brought it from somewhere - now the parents are struggling with this misunderstanding). So that's it. She walks along the street somehow - and winter, frost, the dog freezes, whines and asks for hands. Well, what to do - I took the dog and tucked it under the fur coat in the bosom. Outside and imperceptibly that there is generally something there.

He goes further, and a huge dog is moving towards him - either the St. Bernard, or the Moscow watchdog. And, as soon as the familiar with this dog caught up, as her little pot-bellied little thing pokes her muzzle out of her fur coat and yaps deafeningly at the oncoming dog!

While he was twisting his head in incomprehension, trying to figure out who dared to be so impudent, the acquaintance gave the pinscher in the face, wrapped her fur coat over her and quickly ran forward, promising then to punish someone for the provocation.

Literally, to the last comma, I quote from the website of the Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation. The question that, among others, students must answer in the process of passing the test in the subject of "sociology":

"Attending the concert of the satirist M. Zadornov, a person is a member ...

Audience

Aggregations

Social circle "

The other day I went to my sister's for tea and found two of her girlfriends there. They sat in front of the TV and drank tea with liver. After searching for the desired channel, the sister gets to the beginning of the movie "Troy", and then one friend gives out:

Oh, Brad Pitt, he plays a dude here, well, this one, how is it there, well, he still has an Achilles heel!

I live in Kursk, about 30 years ago I heard such a story from a taxi driver friend ...

I go up from the Central Market to Red Square and see the following picture: a huge man of about 30 flies at me from the mountain (there is a slope of 30 degrees), maneuvering among passers-by, and an angry traffic cop is rushing after him, holding his cap on his head, and this couple quickly disappears out of sight in the crowd ... Later, quite by accident, from fellow taxi drivers, my acquaintance learned the background of this race and told me: it turns out that the aforementioned 30-year-old friend passed, chewing candy, Red Square in the wrong place and to a proposal that appeared as from under the ground a traffic policeman to pay a fine took a paper ruble out of his pocket. He spat on him and stuck it to the traffic policeman's forehead with a swing, after which, as they say, "made his legs." The offense of the law enforcement officer only intensified when the treasury bill peeled off from his forehead turned out to be in fact a candy wrapper, which a conscientious pedestrian did not dare to throw in the city center on the street and put it in his pocket. And the chase began ...

It happened during the fight against drunkenness, probably 85-86. On New Year's Eve in the hostel of the F / F there was a big hunt, they were looking for those who drink vodka. For this reason, everyone tried to hide her somehow. And now imagine the picture: DND bursts into the room: the celebrants are sitting around the table, on the table is a large samovar, cakes, etc., in front of each is a tea cup and saucer, something is poured in a cup, and a pickled cucumber is on the saucer. Painting...

The 9-year-old son decided to go on a diet - to limit flour and sweets. I held on all day, ate soup, the second. At night they turned off the light and went to bed with my husband, suddenly there was a wild roar in the kitchen, we jump, turn on the light ... There is a son, a dumpling in one hand, a roll in the other. I'm asking:

And how is this to be understood ?!

Son, sadly answers:

To understand and to forgive...

It was 15 years ago. Then Lada was quite a car and many drove them. In the garage, where my father had a "parking space", one of the local ladies put her cherry-nine swallow at night. Once, when my father and I were just going to my box, the lady was already getting into the car and driving off. I noticed that the rear right door of her fret was not closed at all - apparently I put something in and forgot that no one would close it for it. The most interesting thing happened at the gates of the garage complex. The door closed with a very loud slap, hitting the goal post. A woman with big eyes jumped out of the car and began to examine her, but she found absolutely nothing. The door knocked against the beam, so the paint was not damaged. I’m sure Madame didn’t even understand “what it hit”. The hostess, bewildered on her face, got behind the wheel and drove off. I wonder if she stopped by the car service, complaining about very strong bangs from behind?

On the repeatedly red-banner Baltic Fleet, according to the instructions, it was supposed to moor like this: the command "smallest back" is given and the ship slowly moors. So mooring for a self-respecting captain was considered "sinking". The battle captain moored like this: the command was given to "full back", then, slightly underwater to the pier, "full forward" to extinguish the speed, and "stop the car". The ship stopped, covered in foam and under the admiring glances of the fans. At the same time, a midshipman always stood at the stern, who was counting the distance to the coast and shouting it out to the captain. One day a patrol boat started to brake too late. Warrant officer's monologue:

Seventy meters. Forty meters. Twenty meters. Ten meters. Hana! The sea is over.

I accidentally spilled tea in a cafe where I have been dining for a year. I poured myself on myself, wet the electronic book, with napkins, so I wipe it off. The waitress saw, worried ..

Andrey! Can I give you a towel to wipe off the book?

Thanks! Let's! Only I'm not Andrey.

We do not care! We call you Andrey ...

The wife says:

I think it will be very cold in winter. My son (1.5 years old) needs to buy paints, finger paints.

I looked at her for a minute, I thought all the jokes about blondes are about my wife.

I ask:

Olya, cold winter and paints for my son - WHERE IS THE CONNECTION ???

For the gifted: the winter will be cold, we will not walk a lot, we will buy paints so that the child has something to do at home.

I couldn't find what to answer ...

I faced the following problem: I decided to pour a carburetor cleaner into the gas tank. And when he was pouring it, a lock ring fell from the neck of the bubble into the tank. Well it is plastic, for sure it will eat away gasoline !!! At first I tried to reach it with a bicycle spoke, but it turned out to be short and I accidentally dropped it into the tank. Then I tried to get the spoke with the help of a magnet: I took a larger magnet and lowered it into the neck of the BB. But I didn't think and the magnet stuck to the tank wall from the inside. He began to twitch, and the string was soaked and rubbed against the edge of the magnet. In short, he also stayed with the gas tank, in order to pull out at least a magnet, I took the largest wrench I could crawl into the neck, in the hope that he would pick up the magnet. And he took a thick rope. But it turned out to be synthetic, and while I was catching the magnet, the gasoline corroded it.

So now there is a ring, a magnet, a spoke and a wrench in the gas tank. Tell me how you can get it out of there. I'm afraid to climb again. Maybe you can ride like this?

Something like that in 1989, two students of the Moscow Institute of Oil and Gas (MIHG) named after. THEM. Gubkin (now the State Academy of Oil and Gas named after the aforementioned comrade) decided to joke on April 1 over their brothers. The case took place in a hostel on the street. Butlerov (or maybe Volgin) in the late evening.

Were found:

One ax

One board 5 cm thick.

One sweater

A certain amount of gouache of the color of arterial blood.

The first student ties a board to his back and puts a sweater on top.

The second student sticks an ax into the board through a sweater. The site of insertion is abundantly doused with gouache.

The first student rushes to the elevators with a gait and lies on his stomach.

After a while, the doors of the arrived elevator open, a heart-rending female squeal is heard, the elevator doors close, the elevator leaves (as it turned out later, on the first floor, call the police station on the topic "Who killed Uncle Fima?").

The first student, delighted with the effect produced, gets up from the floor and moves to a higher floor and takes the starting position. History repeats itself, only full-fledged Russian expressions are heard instead of screeching. The one who uttered them also goes to call the police station.

At this time, the police, stunned by the first call, and even more crazed by the second, rushed to the hostel, where the excited crowd vying with each other yells:

On the seventh floor there is a guy with an ax in his back !!!

No, on the twelfth !!!

What a twelfth! On the fifth!

Not realizing whether the whole hostel is littered with corpses, or the corpse is alone, but like that horse from the anecdote is being dragged across the floors, the militia makes a Solomon decision: start from the top, from the 15th floor, and go down.

The moment the police opened the elevator doors coincided with the moment of the "installation of the corpse" at these very doors ...

The final. The corpse earned a couple of bruises from a police baton and an order for expulsion from the institute. His accomplice got off easier - only a stern reprimand with entry.

The wife's niece, a lively girl of three years old, has pleased me once again ...

She was invited to a friend's birthday, where a group of "animators" were invited. During the performances, the children were given "bags of goodness" and explained how to use them: after each good deed done, put a pea in the bag ... The girl returned home, her mother, pointing at the bag, asks: "Oh, what is so beautiful with you? ? " The daughter answers rudely (literally): "Throw out this nonsense!"

Quite a few years ago I worked for a company that implements accounting software at enterprises. Then computerization had not yet had time to advance as widely as it is now, and computers were new to many ordinary workers in these enterprises. This time one food processing plant became our client. We installed and configured a server, as well as several computers, connected everything to the network by itself, installed the necessary software on the computers, primarily accounting software. It cost them very dearly then, which the chief accountant told us with displeasure. What was our surprise when, literally in a couple of weeks, this very accountant calls us and literally crumbles in gratitude:

Oh, your system is so good, so good, thank you very much!

Please, we answer. - We are very glad if our software helped you save money.

How much it helped! Our employees now think that computers take everything into account, literally every crumb. Now they are afraid to endure a piece of bread. We have already paid for your entire system only by saving on products! ..

Watermelon collapse. An elderly woman approaches the spread out watermelons and begins to choose. To do this, an ear is applied to the watermelon, and then a fist knocks on it. The owner of the watermelons is watching all this. On the sixth watermelon, he can not stand it, goes up to the woman and says: "No, knock, the watermelon is fresh, there is a nyky net."

The perfect crime ... Criminals in Warwick, Rhode Island glued to the automatic night collection point, through which the night proceeds were handed over to the local bank, a note stating that the machine was defective, and offered to put the money in a box next to it. The swindlers who collected several thousand dollars overnight were never found.

To get real pleasure from this story, you need to imagine Rinatik. A former wrestler, a naked (shaved) skull, height under 1.90, the neck merges with the back, and, of course, a Tatar. And the eyes are very kind. Rinatik, for all his titles, has a lot of childish character in his character. For example, if he sees a string somewhere, he will definitely pull on it. Well, you have to find out why it is hanging here and what will happen if you pull on it.

Now the ambula. Rinatik and I went to a restaurant. Very good restaurant, staff are schooled to the point. That is, a towel through the handle, "what you please", etc.

Well, after having a snack and a drink, we go, when the restaurant was already closing, to the wardrobe. And there, as a detail of the interior, hangs a ship's bell, or, in a sailor's way, RYNDA. And since it hangs, you must, of course, hit it.

But Rinatik, as I have already reported, is a kind and delicate fellow, he cannot hit the bell without permission. Therefore, he turns to a passing waiter:

Listen, can I hit RYNDA?

The waiter makes a mournful face at this and answers without hesitation:

Yes, in principle, you can, why not. Only I have to work tomorrow ...

That is, if tomorrow it was not for his change, he was ready to receive in RYNDU ("any whim for your money").

With Nastya (4.5 years) we practice on the floor (sculpt, draw), I say “It's hard for me to squat”, she “Well, if you want, you can sit on the split!”.

Somewhere in the eighties, I received an order for a new helmet at some research institute. And in the order - the requirement that the helmet hold a shot from the SVD.

Engineers scratched their turnips and issued a miracle helmet, now known as a "sphere" based on titanium alloys and with a frontal armor of about 6 mm thick.

They began to experience: they fired from the SVD either at a dummy in a helmet, or at someone sentenced to death, or at something else.

The result is a helmet, at least henna, and the head flew off ...

In the old days, guys and I mocked old women and housewives who sat in the yard. We recorded the sound of the Santa Barbara show starting. After that, the women jumped up, leaving everything in the world and rushing home so as not to miss their favorite series!

Once upon a time there was a sailor. Since he was single, his friends gave him two hamsters. Soon it was necessary to go on a flight and the man took care of attaching the hamsters to his acquaintances, they flatly. He, a kind soul, thought for a long time and decided to leave them at home. I arranged a nest for them from newspapers, bought feed and ingenious feeders, drinkers, left a teaspoon of the faucet in the bathroom just in case, put planks so that they could climb there ... It seemed that he thought of everything to the smallest detail ... ! He comes back after 8 months, opens the door - everything made of wood and paper in the apartment - turns into dust, and hundreds of one and a half or two joyful hamsters of different sizes rush towards him ...

Laughter decorates our life and makes it brighter and more interesting. Laugh, rejoice, in real life, let it be more unrealistic funny. Let's laugh "very" together!

"About how the child helped his mother lose weight"

Someone inadvertently hinted to Jeanne that it was time for her to lose ten kilograms. The woman came upset, sad, tear-stained. Without explaining anything to the family, she locked herself in the kitchen and began making her favorite chocolate donuts to soothe her sadness. She always did this when trouble fell on her head.

Three hours passed. Zhanna Eduardovna never left the kitchen. The husband and four-year-old son, seriously worried about the fate of the woman, nevertheless decided to approach her. My wife-mother slowly ate the burnt donuts. Next to her was a piece of paper on which the following was written in large letters: "I want to force myself not to eat anything in order to lose weight!" The boy, having clarified with his dad what was written, went to his room and did not listen to adult conversations.

The next day, the mother of the family returned from work just as sad. Remembering to cook something for dinner, she went to the refrigerator. Suddenly, four-year-old Vitalik ran in, turned off the refrigerator and ran away.

Why did you do this? - Jeanne asked in surprise.

To spoil the food, and you change your mind about eating them! - the son proudly answered his mother.

Just think about it! The kid turned out to be smarter than a thousand adult ladies who did not know that their overweight problem is solved so easily!

Loneliness is a bad habit

The lonely woman was awakened by the persistent doorbell. She slowly went to open it, albeit with great reluctance.

Who is behind the door? She asked in a half-asleep voice.

Plumbers, mistress! The batteries have come to feel!

The woman did not like the answer at all. She had hoped that they would feel her! After all, she so lacked the male warmth! The woman grabbed a cigarette, a lighter, went to the peephole and shouted loudly:

Feel your batteries! I will manage mine myself!

Short funny stories

"Passenger from a fairy tale"

It was evening. A girl was riding in the train, diligently solving crosswords. A man sat next to her and watched her intently. Noticing that his fellow traveler's eyes were stuck on one of the questions, he politely asked:

Girl, can I help you with something?

What is the name of what helped Baba Yaga to drive a vehicle? - answered the girl with a question to a question.

Pomelo! - answered the man without hesitation.

The girl looked at her "prompter" in surprise and after three minutes asked:

How do you know?

I am a close relative of this grandmother! I know a lot about her!

The passengers who heard this phrase rolled with laughter. Each of them, most likely, presented himself as some kind of fairytale hero.

Men are to blame for everything!

Husband and wife are walking through the hypermarket. The wife tells something inspired, and the husband pays no attention to her at all. The woman was hurt. She asked her faithful to appreciate her trick: she chose an empty spot, accelerated, made a spectacular jump .... And it turned out to be filled with various goods. People began to come running, take pictures of the "acrobat", applaud her. And she, pushing in different directions everything that piled on her, tried to find a broken nail with rhinestones. Thus ended the unsuccessful jump over the shopping cart. We ought to put a traffic controller in the middle of the trading floor! In stores, he will also not be superfluous!

Real funny life stories

"Revenge of the alarm clock"

The woman returned from work three hours later than usual. Her only dream was to sleep well. She undressed, took off her pants (along with her tights) and placed them randomly on the bottom shelf of the closet. Sveta took a shower and went to a comfortable bed, breaking the tradition of drinking tea.

Morning came incredibly quickly, completely obeying the law of meanness. The tired woman, who for a few seconds hated the alarm clock, abruptly threw it into the next wall of the room. An inner voice made her get up and go to the bath. Gathering, she decided to wear yesterday's pants. The woman did not find the old tights, so she took out others so as not to waste time looking for things.

Svetlana put on trousers, completely oblivious to the fact that they were wearing second tights, drank coffee and ran to work. Fortunately, she was not a minute late. And the day would have passed wonderfully, if not for one circumstance…. Yesterday's tights slipped out of their trousers and began to "sweep" the floor, collecting papers and all kinds of rubbish. Colleagues saw this, but kept silent so as not to offend the employee. Ten minutes later, one of the colleagues gave out a ringing laugh. Sveta turned around. A colleague, continuing to laugh, went up to Svetlana, picked up a "pantyhose train" from the floor and said with a smile: "You dropped it." Now Svetlana does not wear these tights. She made a funny doll out of them, which reminds her every morning that the alarm clock must be treated with respect.

Funny banana wisdom

In the hallway of the hostel, two students collided. An interesting conversation began:

What did you fry in the kitchen yesterday? - asked one of them, looking curiously into the eyes of the other.

Bananas! The second answered happily.

Is there any point in frying them if they are already delicious?

Tell me honestly: I look so much like a monkey that I have to eat my favorite treat raw ?!

How the switch became the enemy

The newlyweds went to a luxurious bed and covered themselves with a large silk blanket.

I love you so much, my dear… .- gently whispered the newly-made wife.

And I love you. Light….

What kind of Light am I to you? - Olga cried out in frustration and painfully hit her husband on the cheek.

So, on their wedding night, a real conjugal misunderstanding was born…. The man only asked to turn off the light, which treacherously blinded them.

I used to be sure that jokes about sick men are bullshit, just a stereotype, like jokes about mother-in-law and mother-in-law. I couldn't even laugh at this, but every meeting with my girlfriends ended with a story about how a man ordered a coffin for himself with a temperature of 37.1. So, this year I myself faced a similar one.

I work part-time in a taxi. I often wait for orders in the center area. And one person caught my eye. A one-legged beggar sat in a camouflage military suit. Dinner time. Another order falls to me. You have to drive literally 10 meters. I drive up. This same beggar famously grabs crutches and hobbles in my direction. Opens the door, sits down. At first I was stunned ... A beggar driving a taxi? Well, okay ... We skated with him for another forty minutes. First we stopped at a fish store. He came out with a weighty bag full of smoked fish and pickles.

I live in a small village. Everyone knows each other, or they know someone who knows you for sure. And last Friday I was returning home from the city by bus. Payment upon exit. I'm third in line to get off the bus. The first is a guy, the second woman is 45 years old. The door opened. The guy pretends to hand the money to the driver, but instead forcefully snatches the woman's purse and jumps out the open door.

You know, people make themselves lists at the beginning of the year of what they want to achieve by the end? Here, I used to make up these too. Full of enthusiasm, I was sure that every task is what I want, that I will give it the proper amount of time and attention and cross it off the list even earlier than planned.

Interesting short funny stories from people's lives are exactly what will always be in demand among readers. Anyone loves to laugh at what happened in the life of another. Funny stories can cheer you up at any time of the day. It is known that what was taken from life will amuse for more than one year. And laughter, as you know, prolongs life!

Rest with friends already involves telling all kinds of funny stories. A lot of these get-togethers end up on the Internet. If you want to read a collection of very funny life stories, welcome to our site!

Short stories. Funny incidents from life

So, if you are going to relax with friends, be sure that everyone will like this kind of entertainment. Short stories, funny stories can instantly cheer up people around you. And if you are blessed with a good memory, you probably have a lot of them. Short stories - funny, kind, comical - about your friends and acquaintances will give you smiles and a lot of positive emotions. Let's consider where different situations most often occur.

Military service

You can often hear, for example, interesting stories from people's lives - funny, short ones - about the military. For example, this. A man tells about the period of his service in the army. During his watch at the checkpoint, he was approached by an aged couple. The woman began to wonder where the tank unit was located nearby. The son allegedly served there, according to her. The officer on duty tried to explain to the spouses that there was no tank unit nearby. In response, the couple tried desperately to prove that their son would not deceive them. The last argument of the woman was the photograph shown to the attendant. It depicted a young "tankman" with a proud bearing, leaning out from the waist with a cover in his hands in front of him. One can imagine how the soldier on duty was laughing. Similar interesting stories from people's lives (funny, short) are heard very often among the military.

Document cases

Where else can funny funny moments meet? Surprisingly, you can often hear stories from life, funny, short, related to working with documents. Here is one of them. The man needed to get a certificate for the notary office in the State Bureau of Investigation. An employee of the bureau asked how urgently he needed a document (the cost of registration for three days is sixty-eight rubles, for two - one hundred and five). The man settled on the second option, as time, as they say, was running out. Having paid the money at the cash desk, I received the answer: "Come on Monday." And it was Thursday. The girl explained that they are closed on Saturday and Sunday. "What if I paid in three days?" the man asked. The girl explained that he would still have to come for help on Monday. "Why did I pay forty rubles more?" the man asked. "Like this? Time is running out. To get a certificate a day earlier, ”the girl explained. Of course, such stories from life, funny, short, at first can only infuriate. However, over time, you will remember such cases with a smile on your face.

On a rest

The next option. Short, funny, real-life vacation stories are just as popular as the above. A lot of curiosities can be seen on the beach. How fun it was, for example, for the vacationers watching the following picture. A married couple with a son of about eight years old was resting on the seashore. The family forgot to take panamas with them. The wife went to the room for the hats, leaving the child with the father. When she returned, she did not see her husband, but here is her son ... He was buried in the sand. One head stuck out. To the question "Where is daddy?" the boy replied: "Bathing!" "Why are you here?" - asked the mother. The child said cheerfully: "Daddy buried me so that I would not get lost!" Such an act, of course, is difficult to call serious, but it was fun for everyone!

Abroad

Short funny stories from real life sometimes have a continuation, developing into longer, drawn-out ones. One of them is told by the guide. A group of Russian tourists (hockey players) went on a boat tour along the mountain river. Often, guides provoke water battles between vacationers. This time the Germans fell into the Russians' rivals. Moreover, an excursion was held on May 9 ...

One could imagine how the hockey players got turned on when they found out who they were fighting with. With shouts "For the Motherland!" and "For Victory!" they paddled furiously on the water. However, they quickly got tired of it. Turning over on the way of the objectionable guide, they rushed at the enemy directly on the boats, quickly turning them into the water.

It would seem that the fun is over. But in the evening the following fact surfaced: both groups settled in the same hotel. Hockey players loudly celebrated their "victory" right by the pool, singing patriotic songs. The Germans did not even leave their rooms.

At work

Very often funny stories from the life of people (short) in the workplace also occur. For example, such a case. One man bought himself a book on. Having brought it to work, he decided to try it out on his colleagues. His employee wanted to "check" her daughter. The man agreed. The next day, a colleague brought an envelope with a note. Opening it, the man immediately said: “Your daughter is 14 years old. She is an excellent student. Loves horse riding and dancing. " The woman was simply shocked and immediately ran to tell her friends about everything. The man did not even have time to tell her about the content of the note: “I am an excellent student, I am 14 years old, I love horses and dances. And mom thinks you are a deceiver. "

Animal cases

Funny stories from short and not only, quite often they are also associated with our smaller brothers. For example, such an interesting case happened with a middle-aged man. Somehow a tired old dog came to the courtyard of his private house. However, the animal was fattened, a collar flaunted around its neck. That is, it was quite obvious that the dog was well cared for, that it had a home. The dog approached the man, allowed himself to be stroked and followed him into the hallway. Slowly walking through it, he lay down in the corner of the living room and fell asleep. After about an hour, the dog came to the door. The man released the animal.

The next day, at about the same time, the dog again came to him, "greeted", lay down in the same corner and slept again for about an hour. His "visits to visit" lasted for several weeks. Finally, the man decided to inquire about what was the matter, and pinned a note to the collar with the following content: "Sorry, but I want to know who is the owner of this lovely wonderful animal and whether he knows that the dog sleeps at my house every day." The next day the dog came with the "answer" strapped on. The note read: “The dog lives in a house with six babies. Two of them are not yet three years old. He wants to sleep well. Will you let me come with him tomorrow? "

Young people

It happens that people around are brought to tears by funny stories. Short stories from the lives of young people are especially common among students, applicants, high school students. However, this is not the case. No one was offended or disappointed. Two young guys walked slowly through the streets of the city. Stopping near a press kiosk, which also sells various stationery and other trifles, they decided to buy a small ball with an elastic band that flies merrily if you pull it - just like that, as they say, for fun. The problem was one thing: the guys did not know the name of this toy. One of the boys, pointing at the ball, turned to the saleswoman: "Give me that fenneck over there!" "What to give?" the woman asked. "Fenka!" - repeated the young man. The guys left with their purchase. The next day, they walked past this booth again. A price tag with the words "fennec" appeared on the display window near the balloon.

Cases with children

Funny short stories of people are sure to make people smile when it comes to kids. Here is an incident that happened to a three-year-old boy. A large friendly family gathered together at the same table. The child sat and calmly watched how his grandmother and mother were frying pancakes. All this time, he just said quietly: “This is all mine. I will eat first. Whoever eats without me - I will punish! " The women finally finished cooking and stacked the pancakes on a plate. The family took out the jam and began to sit down at the table. The boy was the last to go to wash his hands. Before that, he warned everyone: “I will leave. But I'll count all the pancakes so that you don't eat without me. " Next to the plate sounded: “One, two, five, twenty, thirty ... That's it! Do not touch!" When the child returned, one pancake was eaten. The boy began to shout: "I told you, you can't eat without me!" Relatives asked: "Have you really counted?" To this the kid replied: “You don’t think? I can't count! I turned over the top pancake! "

Indeed, it turned out funny. After all, none of the adults could guess to turn the top pancake with the fried side down.

Hospital stories

Very often, comic incidents occur within the walls of medical institutions. As a rule, interesting stories (funny, short) from maternity hospitals about young fathers are the most common among them. For example, this one. One man had a wife. The couple were expecting twins. However, the gender of the future children was not known to them. A woman gave birth to a girl and a boy. An agitated man was waiting for the doctor at the door of the ward. Finally, the midwife appeared. Her father ran up to her with the question: "Twins?" "Yes!" - answered the woman. The husband, smiling: "Boys?" She: "No!" Dad, smiling even wider: "Girls?" Midwife: "No!" The husband, dumbfounded: "Who?" There are many such cases every day.

On the road

Real funny stories, short and long, are often associated with traffic police officers. For example, at one of the motor depots in Novosibirsk, such a case is known. There was one short chauffeur working there. When he was driving the KrAZ, he was not even visible from the outside. One day a chauffeur went on a flight without fixing the back number on the car. He just put it in the glove compartment. As usually happens in such cases, a traffic police officer was standing at the intersection. Seeing a car without a driver, he was very surprised and whistled. The driver found a way out of the situation. He parked the car so that it was possible to slip out through the second door unnoticed, and fix the number. Risky, but this is the only way to avoid the fine. So the car stopped. The patrolman slowly approached, stood and, without waiting for anyone, looked inside. Of course, he was very puzzled looking at the empty cockpit. The driver, meanwhile, fixed the number, and everyone returned to their seats. The traffic police officer was even more surprised when, obeying the command of his baton, an empty car started up and drove on.

That's just funny

And one moment. Much also depends on the person’s mood. Funny short stories may not have a so-called special plot. It happens that a person just has fun and joy in his soul. As they say, the laugh got into my mouth. This is most likely explained by the fact that people are faced with various stresses on a daily basis, minor and not so. All this, of course, is deposited within each of us, adversely affecting the nervous system. A person, of course, does not constantly remember this. But all these unpleasant moments remain in the memory. Accordingly, the body has to do a nervous discharge from time to time. After all, laughter heals. Thus, the healing process manifests itself in the form of a cheerful mood.

Therefore, one should not at all be surprised that this happens from time to time. You can walk down the street with absolutely awkward thoughts in your head, look at others, and it will be funny for you. Their clothes, their gait, and their facial expressions can also amuse you. Trying to contain your laughter and smile, you thereby provoke a backlash from the people you meet. Well, if suddenly some incident also happens ... For example, a gust of wind throws a sheet of paper in your face, or a bag, or something like that, this story will seem especially funny to you. And this, it is worth recalling once again, is not gloating at all! It's just a fight against the stress of our body! Laughter prolongs our life!