Why do people break up when they love each other. Why do people part when they love each other Love and "self-hypnosis"

On the one hand, you can see a lot of happy and in love couples, but it's not clear, because you need to continue to love and be together. There are many reasons for this, but you need to know the most basic reasons for parting in order not to get into the same situation.

In the article, psychologists will tell you about why do people break up when they love each other, how to prevent it in your family or relationship. After all, outwardly we see happy couples, but internally we understand that these people will soon part.

Because love is not real

Not everyone understands what love is and, accordingly, believe that if people are together, then they love each other. Today you rarely see people really in love and this is a big problem. People did not learn to save what they had and began to invent the illusion of love, even creating it on the Internet. The reason people break up when they love each other is because they don't really love or love each other.

Because there are no common interests

Main reason, why do people break up in the fact that there are no common interests and views on life. These people just meet and they don't even have anything to talk about with each other. Because of this, they part, without even trying to find at least something in common, which can certainly be found in every person, there would be a desire. Find out: how to find a worthy husband, since women are looking for a real man, but they themselves do not want to become real women.

They do not understand the meaning of further relationships.

Often all relationships are created on emotions and when a couple begins to think logically, then they do not find the meaning of further relationships and this is the reason why people break up when they love each other, because their love was just attachment.

Interests have changed

It happens that people meet for a long time, but with age, their interests and outlook on life change and they need something different in life. Disagreements in interests begin and as a result, people part. But if there was a desire, it would be possible to stay together and form new common interests.

People rush to create relationships

Especially modern youth, constantly hurrying somewhere and trying to try everything. Here why do people break up when they love each other, as they confuse falling in love, affection with true love. True love will never allow people to disperse and betray a friend, and this is a problem, since few people truly love. Do not rush to create a serious relationship, be friends and walk together for at least 1-2 years. Then it will become clear whether you need each other spiritually or not.

Betrayal, treason

The main reason why people break up when they love each other is, of course, betrayal and betrayal in a relationship or family. People do not love each other and seek pleasure in other people, hiding it. When the truth comes true, the couple becomes frustrated and break up. After all, there is no point in living with someone who changes and gives.

Love disappears

Many believe the reason why people break up when they love each other, that love is gone and gone. This does not happen, love cannot pass, since true love always is and will be in our hearts, we just do not want to feel it, and we continue to create artificial love for ourselves and believe in it. For this reason, not only couples leave, but also families during three years of marriage. Find out: How to get to know a guy to create a truly lasting relationship of a lifetime.

The main thing is not to rush to create a family and relationships, because no one bothers you just to be friends and meet for the first time. And when you realize that you love, then after three years, you can create a serious relationship and a family. And if there are no feelings, then you will simply remain friends, and you will not suffer like many because of what did not exist, because of attachment, and not because of love.

Keep love always in your heart and then you will never stop loving and fall in love with the person who really loves you and wants to be with you all your life.

This question can be rephrased. Why, or, better to say, why does a person take food every day? The answer is simple - in order to live. With food, the body receives all the substances, vitamins and microelements necessary for life, and therefore energy. Love is the same energy, the same food, the same daily food, but only for the soul.

Why does a man need love?

The soul lives, develops, creates, grows only thanks to love, just like our arms and legs move, our heart beats, the blood constantly moves in a circle, and the brain functions only thanks to nutrition. It is not hard to imagine what could happen if a person stops eating and drinking. Breakdown, illness and - ultimately - inevitable death. And what can happen if a person stops loving a person?

Peace of mind and body

She once said that in our troubled world there are many people who are dying of hunger, but there are even more of those whose heart stops from lack of love. Indeed, from a lack of love, from the impossibility or inability to love a person, an inevitable hunger sets in, the soul gets sick, little by little it is exhausted and leaves this world. People who take the world literally, who accept as truth only what can be seen with their own eyes, what is easy to touch, it is possible to hear or touch, will be skeptical about this statement. Well, let it ... Soul, faith, love - this is something that cannot be touched and that is inconceivable to see, but this is something that is, in fact, primary, that determines and creates the most tangible reality. However, even believers call this a miracle ...

And again about love ...

Androgynous

Plato in the dialogue "Feast" tells the legend about the once-existed creatures - androgynes, who combined both masculine and feminine principles. Like the Titans, they were proud of their perfection - unprecedented strength and exceptional beauty, challenged the gods. The gods got angry ... And as punishment they divided the androgynes into two halves - a man and a woman. Cut in two, they could not find peace for themselves, they lived in a constant search for each other. A fairy tale, but it contains a hint of why a person loves a person. Love is a relentless pursuit of wholeness. However, here too there is a certain paradoxical pattern - having found our soul mate, we merge in a close embrace, with every breath, every cell feeling the harmony of unity, even a certain monolithicity - "one-single-whole-indivisible-eternal", we again strive for chaos - to the loss of each other, so that our soul again plunges into torment, torment, suffering for the lost and gets ready for a new journey to love.

At first glance, it seems that this is a vicious circle, meaningless and merciless. But back to the myth of the anrogyne. Having become one, they fell into pride - narcissism and self-glorification, which only leads to decline and degradation, and therefore to a complete stop and disappearance of the continuity and infinity of life. Paradise is sterile and meaningless without hell, good without evil, life without death. Each time we embark on a new journey to love, we learn a new facet, a new law of love, we give one more of an infinite number of answers why a person loves a person, thereby imparting a new superpowerful energy for the work of the perpetual motion machine of life.

One feeling for a lifetime

The world is endless in its diversity, like love. A person can love the whole life of one person, parting, finding renewed each other, betraying, forgiving, living under one roof or, conversely, his whole life at a distance from each other, and thereby coming to love, to harmony through the soul of one person. In our minds there is an image of ideal love, one for life. We dream of it, we strive for it, and even the most callous cynics carefully keep this bright picture from the cover of the magazine under the pillow, so that no one will ever guess or even dare to think what is really going on in their souls. Where this idea of ​​love came to us, whether it is true or utopia, is unknown.

Lost heaven

I repeat - we all strive for the ideal, for the search for the second half, which was originally given to us by the gods, to become again perfect - an anrogyne. One part of us believes in the absolute without any doubt, while the other offers to check. And, probably, swinging the scales in one direction or the other is what we need - the process of knowing love. After all, it is not the final goal, not the moment of balancing, not the moment of unification, but the path itself that is important. What he will be, with whom we will unexpectedly collide around the corner, whom we will meet, at whom we will glance at, and who will make us suddenly and at once gaze intently into the eyes of another, whom we will invite for tea, and who will not even enter the threshold ... As a result, we will come - this is the answer to the question why a person loves a person, which, in fact, is a great secret.

People who do not know how to love ...

Looking at an iceberg floating in the ocean, it is impossible to guess or guess what it really is.

The tip of the iceberg is what a person demonstrates to others, and sometimes to himself - after all, it's easier not to ask questions. But what is really hidden under the dark water surface? Soul, love for oneself, love for people, faith, talents ... A lot of things. Do not measure, do not weigh, do not reach the very bottom. As Mikhail Epstein said, love is such a long business, for which one life is negligible, so get ready to spend eternity with it. Thus, any our assumption, whether this or that person is capable of love, or not, is an illusion. And if we take as a basis the concept of "soul" - the divine essence of man - then the admission of such a thought is completely impossible ...

How to understand that you love a person ...

François La Rochefoucauld once remarked that there is only one love, but there are thousands of counterfeits ... The great French writer, of course, is fair, but at the same time he is not. Let's imagine love as a school. There are primary grades, middle and senior grades ... First graders learn to write, hold their hand correctly, draw sticks, circles .... Further - more: numbers, addition, subtraction, multiplication table, equations, trigonometry. Each new stage in training is impossible without the previous one. You can't jump from first grade to fifth. However, often a high school student, looking back, perceives all the previous steps, all his sufferings, torments, or victories as ridiculous, ridiculous, even stupid. How could he not solve the "2 + 2" example, forgetting that today has come only thanks to past mistakes and achievements.

All of this applies to love. Each person, each soul is at its own stage of development, at its own level of knowledge, in a certain class. And this is not always determined by age. For one, a bright passion is love. For another, it is falling in love. The third is ready to break at the edge of a bottomless abyss. And the fourth seeks clarity and tranquility in love ... And each of them is right and at the same time wrong. What a person feels at the moment is his truth, one more step to the truth. Therefore, you just need to listen to your heart and follow only it. It is the best teacher and helper. And the question of how to understand that you love a person disappears by itself. By asking it, we do not seek to understand ourselves, but rather fear and their consequences. We kind of ask, can I fall in love ... But in fact, no one can forbid to love or not love, and nothing will save you from possible mistakes. If feelings have appeared, albeit immature, albeit naive and shallow, it means that they are needed for something and do not need any explanation or confirmation, and especially from the outside. The words of M. McLaughlin that to those who fall in love for the first time, it seems that he knows everything there is to know about life - and, perhaps, he is right - the best confirmation of this.

Great secret

Neil Donald Walsh has a wonderful story-parable about a Little Soul who once came to God and asked him to help her become who she really is. God was surprised at such a request, because she already knows her essence, realizes herself as who she really is. However, knowing and feeling, feeling are completely different things. Well, it is said - done, and God brought His other creation to her - a Friendly Soul. She agreed to help her. In their next earthly incarnation, the Friendly Soul will pretend to be bad, lower its vibrations, become heavy and commit some terrible act, and then the Little Soul can manifest its essence, become what it was originally born - forgiving, endless love and all-embracing light. The little soul was surprised and very worried about the fate of the assistant. But the Friendly Soul assured her that nothing terrible would happen. Everything that happens in life happens only because of and in the name of Love.

All souls through the ages and across distances dance this dance. Each of them was both top and bottom, and right, and left, and good, and cynical evil, victim and torturer, and there is only one answer to everything that exists - people meet each other in order to manifest themselves and know love. So it is impossible to fully understand why people love each other, why we love some and neglect others, why we are ready to put up with the most disgusting qualities of one person, but are unable to forgive a little another, why love often becomes synonymous with unreasonable bouts of despair, mental torment and disappointment. Rather, we can guess about some unwritten laws of the universe, try to understand, see what is hidden behind the front side, what is the wrong side ... However, making efforts, trying and trying is all that we are capable of. All our attempts are ultimately doomed to failure. Why? Yes, because we cannot touch the bottom with our hand, and we don’t need to. This is not our task. God is the creator of everything. We are only invited to live, feel, experience, feel and be filled ...

Conclusion

What else can you say? American poet, offered her own version: “Love is everything. And this is all that we know about her ... ”It is difficult to disagree, because as soon as it seems to us that all the lessons have been passed, that all the laws have been studied, and the theorems have been proven, some unknown, but superpowerful force offers us new events, unfamiliar feelings and experiences. And we, diving headlong, realize how big this ocean is and how small and insignificant we are in comparison with it.

Love and science

For many years, world scientists have been trying to figure out what makes women fall in love with men and vice versa. Conclusions are few, they are short and we all know. Men by nature prefer to love with their eyes, and women with their ears. These are not just words - they are really backed up by science. Scientists also argue that we fall in love not under the influence of a fleeting impulse, but out of necessity. We subconsciously find the person who will most contribute to the continuation of our kind. But surprising new facts have been revealed recently. Scientists have proven that love actually exists!

As a result of research, American psychologists have proven that our brain contains separate zones responsible for love experiences. And when a loved one thinks about us, sees us, communicates, these zones become very active. Moreover, these zones "clog" the work of other important zones. For example, the area responsible for critical comprehension of reality, social assessment and anger. Therefore, if your loved one walks with a constant smile on his face, then he has not lost his mind, he just really loves you. Only for what?

Love and the subconscious

No one wants to believe that we are loved only because of the action of pheromones. But this is largely true. These are substances that are produced along with the secretion of sweat and, on a subconscious level, attract a sexual partner. Pheromones act indiscriminately, we cannot always explain the principle of their "work". That is why “good” girls sometimes choose “bad” guys, or seemingly unattractive ones fall in love with beauties, and their feelings are mutual. We often explain this attachment of dissimilar people in our own way: opposites attract. This is not entirely true in essence, but the bottom line is very similar to the truth. Two people who are similar in everything can easily get bored together. On this basis, conflicts can often arise. And yet, if there are two with a similar temperament, then it is not at all easy for them to live in a family. If both are passive, then there is no one to make decisions, matters simply remain unresolved, problems accumulate like a snowball. If both partners are leaders, then the situation is not easy either. Everyone will strive for leadership, will not yield to issues, will not tolerate insubordination.

Sometimes you can, in order to save yourself from questions, come up and ask your loved one directly why he loves you. But the answer is usually not enough for us. Most likely, the partner will begin to list certain external traits or character traits. For example, your boyfriend may say: "You are so beautiful, funny, not like everyone else, etc." An older man, if he thinks to say something, then something like: "You are caring, sexy, affectionate, original, etc." Note that this will be the usual “standard” set of qualities that attract men to women and women to men.

Sometimes such an answer will indeed sound more like a formulaic than a plausible one. But on a subconscious level, we are loved for a completely different reason. For example, a girl suddenly fell in love with a man twice her age. Why did it happen? He can be as ideal as you like, but in general this happened only because the girl grew up without a father and subconsciously looked for a man who could be her support, protection, who would educate her due to her greater life experience. On the other hand, it may be that the girl had a father, but the relationship with him did not work out. This further influences the choice of a partner who is older than oneself.

It so happens that a person is initially inclined to suffer and cause pity to himself. He chooses an oppressive partner who will constantly humiliate and suppress him. That is why certain types of women can steadfastly endure beatings and betrayals of their husbands, or a man can choose women who are powerful and self-centered, being subsequently under their thumb. Moreover, they all sincerely love each other.

Love and "self-hypnosis"

In childhood, we all somehow figuratively imagined our other half. Moreover, sometimes, closing our eyes, we already clearly saw how they love us, how they take care of us, see our ideal wedding in detail, dream of having children. It is believed that it is precisely those women who, from childhood, have been able to draw up a clear model (necessarily positive) of their adult life, in the future they will receive just such a life. It has been proven that love can be instilled in oneself. We so instill in ourselves our future ideal feeling that it is literally attracted to us over the years. True, sometimes the details do not match, but the essence remains the same. Such women are always happy in marriage; in such families, partners love each other selflessly.

It also happens, for example, when a girl all her life dreamed of meeting a rich man who, in an outburst of love, would shower her with precious gifts, fashionable clothes, and go with her on a trip around the world. Growing up, she meets such a person on the way. He is a decent businessman and not greedy at all. This means that she will definitely fall in love. It is already clear what will be the main advantage of a man for such a girl. However, one should not immediately condemn her for selfishness. As a man, she will love him madly, for real. Because such is the power of her self-hypnosis. True, if not for his financial situation, he simply would not have come up to her "children's standard". Such a man would not have become wise, gallant and considerate for her, because he would not have had the original basic quality.

We often say: "Love is evil ...". However, love is not as irrational as it seems - people love each other for a reason. You can, if you wish, find your explanation for everything. Really, why? Better to love without looking back and with an open heart.

During the communication of two people, channels are formed between their auras, through which energy flows flow in both directions. If people like each other, then an intense energy exchange takes place between them. And spiritual connections arise. They can affect a person both positively and negatively.

Bound souls

The more passionate the partners are with each other, the more durable and active channels (emotional connections) are formed. It is in this way that strong relationships arise that are not subject to either distance or time. For example, a mother always feels her child, wherever he is, and no matter how many years have passed since their last meeting.

It also happens that, meeting an old acquaintance after many years, a person feels as if they broke up only yesterday. Channels can persist for a very long time - years or even decades. That is, the channels connect not only bodies, but also souls.

Healthy relationships form bright, clear, pulsating channels. In such a relationship, there is trust, closeness, sincerity and there is enough room for personal freedom. An equivalent exchange of energy takes place here, without distortions.

Broken hearts

If the relationship is unhealthy, that is, one partner depends on the other, then the channels are heavy, stagnant, dull. Such relationships deprive freedom, often boil down to mutual irritation and anger. If one partner wants to completely control the other, ties, like ropes, can twine the aura from all sides.

When the relationship gradually dies, then the channels become thinner and weaker. Over time, energy stops flowing through these channels, communication stops, people become strangers. If people leave, but the channels are still preserved, then they continue to reach out to each other. It also happens when one partner breaks off emotional ties and closes off from further interaction, while the other partner is still attached to him and tries in every possible way to break through the energy protection in order to restore the relationship.

In the process of violent rupture of channels, separation is very painful. It takes many months or years to recover from this. Much here depends on how much a person is ready to accept the free will of another and to free himself from the dependence developed over time. It is difficult, but possible.

The soul remembers the partner

Most of the channels built in everyday communication disappear over time without a trace. In the case of close relationships, the channels persist for a very long time, even after separation. Particularly strong channels arise during sexual and family relations.

Each time you have sexual intercourse with a new partner, new spiritual ties are formed that hold people together for many years, or even the entire subsequent life. In this case, it does not matter at all whether the sexual partners managed to find out each other's names - in the case of sexual intercourse, a connection is formed and lasts for a very long time. And if there is a channel, then there is also a circulation of energy through it. And what quality the energy comes in is hard to say, it depends on the characteristics of the other person. If he is in a continuous negative, then the “bonded” partner will feel oppression and will not understand what the matter is.

In people who have lived side by side for a long time, energy fields adjust to each other and work in unison. Intimate relationships require synchronization of fields. Often we notice that people who have lived together for a long time become similar to each other, even outwardly.

Repulsive emotions

If the characteristics of the auras of two individuals are very different, then it will be difficult for them to communicate. When energy flows alien to it invade the field, there is a reaction of repulsion, fear, disgust - "It makes me sick."

When a person does not want to communicate with someone, then he closes his energy field, and all energy flows emanating from the other person are reflected. In this case, the other has the impression that he is not heard, as if he is talking to the wall.

Each person has the right to enter or not to enter into energetic interaction with the world around him, but it is impossible to completely abandon these contacts. People are used to dividing the world into "bad" and "good", to attract the good to themselves and repel the bad. What can you do - these are the properties of our spiritual world. But times are changing, and now the world is striving for unity, the merging of all sides, facets of the world into one whole.

We have a responsibility to respect the right to individuality and the acquisition of different experiences in each person. But remember, any connection has consequences. And what they will be - everyone is free to choose for himself.