Attachment to parents is the most important component of emotional development. Bindings (attachment): ten faithful ways to spoil their lives

What is dangerous attachment to children? Mother and Father's mistakes in the child's education. What are the duties of the mother? Why should a man make decisions in the family? What is the difference in the education of the girl from the upbringing of a boy? How to raise a child with respect for others? The role of grandparents in child raising. What is unaccounted? What is her power? Boy raising without a father (examples from history). Manifestation of love in ignorance, passion and goodness. Why does jealousy to the child appear? How to treat grandmothers so that they are not harmful?

Seminar for beginners from the section "Education of the Child" With the complexity of perception: 2

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00:00:03 Today we will pass with you the topic called " Sleeping attachment to children». Attachment is something without which a living being can not live. We can not live at all without having any attachment. It is very difficult, it is very difficult to balance and not have any these passions. The human factor is very strong. And when I will talk about the absence of attachment, it does not mean that we should not love .. do not love children. Does not mean that we should not show any feelings. I will talk about the attachments that are blind, that is, well, so stupid can be said that lead to sad consequences. We have already affected this topic in brief. Now we will consider everything in more detail. We will look at how problems arise when raising children if parents are strongly tied to them.

What is dangerous attachment to children?

00:01:07 So, write the law, law. The more we are generally tied to something, the more we suffer. That is, the force of attachment is equal to the power of suffering. It is very easy to notice. To things, to clothing, to the house, to work. What can you get involved. This this attachment generates very serious consequences, mental injuries arise. The most main problem of parents - They believe that " children are a continuation of me". They carry their ego on the child, and the parent instinct, he is the strongest. He is the strongest. Children can come to us by, may be good, may not be very good. It all depends on a person, and from the fate of that child who Appeared to you. And in great epic, this topic is deeply considered. Mahabharata Has anyone read? And who heard about her? What is this. In America, they are now studying in schools and at the Institutes of Mahabharata, as one of the largest literary works of the world. And once again remind, Mahabharata is translated as "Earth History". This is not only an Indian culture, but the history of the Earth as a whole.

00:02:39 There was such a king, his name was Bharata, and he more than 100 thousand years ago rules for the whole of the earth, the whole planet. He was the leader of the Dynasty of Ariyev, his ancestors came down from the Sun, so the great kings were formed. And our land is called Bharata, and the inhabitants of the Earth are called bharati.. Therefore, in India, many people call themselves Bharati. Until now, it has been preserved. The word India occurred from Muslims, and the peoples who live beyond the Indian River, they called them the Hindu, in fact this is these bharai. Remains of Vedic Culture. And we can also be called Bharati. If you arrive now aliens, from the highest worlds, they will call us Bharati, that is, earthlings. Here is such a story. And there is described, the topic is very deeply revealed, as one of the Vedic kings from the bharata dynasty, his name was Dritarashtra. He was very tied to his child, his name was Durietkhan. They then untied this great war, only because of strong affection for the son. Practically, the whole story of Mahabharata shows ... That is, the death more accurately what! Civilizations. It happened due to the fact that he stopped executing the Vedic laws, paternal took over his mind. Although everything was obvious that the child was dissatisfied with. And there is a whole story, why Dietethan, this is the demon, born in the family of great emperors. The whole story is described that the lower planetary systems demonic creatures, they created this is the body, a thin body, these bharats to capture the Earth. That is, this cosmic policy was. Now I will not tell you, very long, but very interesting.

00:04:43 Anyway, he was born and no one might think that the king, such as Dritarashtra, the descendant of the bharata dynasty, will show such a farewell, in relation to his son, and such a lawlessness to create, in relation to his sons of his native brother. That is, the story is as follows: a separate dynasty, was the king dynasty bharata, they were called the Astikura. Father, that is, the brother Dritarashtra Sr., ahead of time, died, and little children, heirs, they were left without her father, and he was temporarily for the throne. As it usually happens, he captured this power and wanted to put his son later at the helm. So began a feud in this dynasty. So this world splits all, one side went for justice, another against. And he all said that your son exhibits strange qualities in childhood. For example, once they quarreled with one of their brothers, and they agoned with other boys and poisoned him. They poisoned him and threw in Gangu. But one sage saved him. That is, see, in childhood, these qualities have previously shown, cunning, gravity such actions, the poison sank into porridge. And it was told the king. When this was reported, he was very saddened. He was not still to the end of this, that's the demon, he had a two qual qualities. On the one hand, he was tied to his son, on the other hand he understood that something was wrong. His mother, his, that is, the wife, of this king, she said that this is a bad tendency that our son does this, we cannot give him a throne. If he is already doing such things in a small age, what will he do when it grows? And he says: "Yes, I understand, but he is my son." Again, this topic went. "He is my son, I want my son to stand in power" And the whole story of this epic is the struggle of his inner "I" and duties. And even the great wise men told him: " You decide for yourself who you are, king, nevertheless, or father»

00:06:50 And so he, this dürtarashtra, he struggled with him all the time. This is a tragedy, tragedy in his life. This struggle ended in that he still continued to commit the earliest. And when they have already grown, their zagnali from the kingdom, from their own, and what is the most interesting. 14 years old they lived in the forest, that is, his nephews. Here. They were pursued in every way, then they wanted to kill them. They were presented with the palace, which was impregnated by Shellac, Shellac is such a material that he swells. In general, thus, they wanted to lure there and destroy them. Then the poisoned cake brought. And all this he knew, the king knew all this that Dritarashtra, son did such things. And he was just silent. And the wise men came to him, they walked him, said: "What are you doing? See what happens. Everything goes to the world war. Do not you understand? Never had this in your dynasty. " And he tried to stop Durietkhan, but then his ego again took over the top, and he says: "No, this is my son, I want it to be in power" Even his wife's wife, the wife of Ganhari never barked with her husband, she could not More to endure this, she said: "You are not right, you are wrong. You see the son in him, but you do not see the monster in it. Think about all citizens, think about earthlings. What will happen to them? Who will you put to power? " But it did not work, he continued to persist further and continued to make one by one.

00:08:18 And one day, the King Bharata himself came to him with the highest planetary system came. He came, he came in his other body, he lived something before. It was a vision of him. Angels, Gandharva and Bharata appeared in the palace. He says: "What are you doing with our family? Discard the scoundrel. You will disgrace us, never in the family of these kings there were no such merryrs like you. Immediately give the kingdom, put it, those who are supposed. These are their kingdom, right. Do not insult honor and name of your brother. Your brother does not even want to come, "says" to you ", well, the dead one," because he is saddened, seeing what you are doing. What do you say your ancestors when you appear before them? Look "see, his even ancestors begged, but it did not help. Then the gods came to him. The God of the Sun, the God of the Moon, and said: "Understand, we founded this dynasty, this dynasty comes from the demigods. Never had this in this dynasty. Please just give what is supposed. "No. Of course, he had some excuses, he would have withdrawn from philosophy. He said: "Well, you do not understand that he is my son" in general, he practically did not obey anyone, he was blindly tied, blindly tied to his child. And how did it end? It ended the slaughter. 680 million. Imagine in 18 days. And not only a slaughterhouse, and the end of the Vedic civilization. On this, the bharata dynasty was destroyed. Just because the father neglected his duty. Well, there is a whole story, not only on it all the world was wedged, there were also the mistakes of the past. There is described how it works. As a mistake of one of the kind, led to another mistake, and this is, one with another, like a snowball, and led to the death of civilization.

00:10:12 So we see that now it all goes on, further and further. And if such problems started at the dawn, you can imagine what is happening now. Now there is no control over yourself. He tried to fight, but could not. Therefore, parental feelings are very strong. Even Queen Gandhari, when she was already war, and 99 her sons died, one Durietkhan remained. He came to her and says: "Mother, let my blessing" Mother had such a power to give a blessing, no one killed him. "Give your blessing, please" she says: "I will not give you a blessing to win, son. You lead an unfair war "And then he used her maternal feelings, he said:" You have 99 sons died if you don't give me your blessing, you will not have a single son "and she could not withstand, she gave her blessing. Thus, she also fell, she also lost mercy. She gave a blessing to dishonest people. This story shows that excessive attachments, these are, blindly attaching the parent, it can repair big problems in the family. That is, almost, this is this attachment they wanted all their own. In Mahabharat, it's all described in great detail, and see this film, you will understand what the essence goes there. So, the dynasty was destroyed, King Dritarashtra stayed alone with Ganhari, they just blocked the death of the whole genus. Moreover, they had to leave their country and go to Himalayas, and there to spend their rest of the days in repentance. It describes that the king could not forgive it. Everything lost. That's how affection leads to suffering.

00:12:02 So, the author of this epic says, in the comments that when the king becomes a father, then the whole kingdom dies. But we are small people, we have small families, we also have our little kingdom. We affect some kind of circle. We have some kind of circle of communication, influence, and we also have some kind of kingdom. Therefore, this is directly related to us. As soon as parents become about their own, we begin to finish the actions that lead to karma.

What mistakes make a mother in raising a child?

00:12:33 So, our days, our children. Let's start with the mother. The first problem is that she considers his child with property and raises as she believes. Note that almost all parents believe that they know how to educate. So? There is no consensus and there is no single system. Many very books are written about this, and everyone writes about her. But there are specific laws in Vedic Scriptures on which we can ... for which we can rely on. This does not mean that we should not work creativity. We know the features of their child. Does not mean that how robots should be. We know the general, fundamental laws and we can rely on them, and there already use your own. And the mother, or the duty of it is to snatch the vicious stake from the heart of the child. We have already spoken about it. This already indicates that she will have to work very seriously. Well most often, the mother give birth to children in order to enjoy them. You noticed? "Oh, the baby wants. Oh, as you want, "" Why he "" Well, I want it all, "that is, this approach, he is originally dangerous. Girl since childhood need to be taught not to play with dolls, but to educate, since she is a future mother. That is, usually, girls themselves play. Yes? Nobody teaches them how to do it right. It is best to play with her in such games that will prepare it for future motherhood.

00:14:13 Why is general girls in dolls play? This is laid in their nature. Boys are usually there with weapons, fight. That is, also laid. These are the necessary, the necessary mental charging, learn to care for the future. Therefore, at this age you need the most girl to pay attention when she wants to play. Explain how it should be done as you will educate. Training, we learn. Children when playing, they very much absorb the information.Who noticed that they enjoy children? Raise your hands. Noticed that they enjoy them, they play them? This is a continuation of the children's game. At first we played in the poupsies, now we play in a living kettle. Or, well, transferred. Thus, she is tied to the child's body, he considers him with his own property. That is, mother to the child's body, she considers it to be his property. This is the first mistake that creates all the others. Further to feelings. "He must satisfy me" and try not satisfying. To, if she is tied, "he must live by my mind," that is, "as I say, so will be." She has his own vision of his life, and it relies on it and begins to teach it in this way, control. The worst is attachment to ideas. "I will always be happy while he is with me" here, let's talk about it.

00:15:51 Mother, every mother thinks that this child will always be with me. The very idea that he will leave me, gives her pain. Therefore, she does not want to cook himself by the time when the child leaves her, she is not ready to mentally. From the very beginning she was not ready for this, and did not want to think about it. But the time is ticking, the child grows, there are 10, 15, 20 years old and the child goes away. From now on, the mother has serious mental problems. She does not understand more, for which she lives. She lived, she had an idea to live for a child, now there is no such idea. She begins to hurt. They noticed that at this age they begin to root more sharply, they begin to have problems with the mind, they no longer know what to do in life. So they begin to demand from their children who? Grandchildren. "You've gone - give me back another child. I want to play mom " Ideas are very dangerous things because in ideas karma. We must write! Ideas lies karma. How can I see a person's karma? Look at his ideas, what idea he lives. Every woman builds his idea, she is building her, she has it in his head. There is your idea how to be happy. And most often, it is the idea of \u200b\u200bhappiness is very selfish. She believes that: "So, now I will generate a child, I will grow it. Here, I will build my husband to build me a house. Here there will be kids run, grandchildren. I will feed them their patties. I will nurse "yes? Some of your own pictures there. But when children grow up, everything arises completely, everything arises completely differently. They are going away. And her idea of \u200b\u200bhappiness, she is not embodied. Here, serious problems begin in life. Parents are already thinking that their life went in vain, she starts serious mental deviations. They begin to climb to their children, invade their personal life. Such words like "You must live like that", or "You have to do like that", hysterics begin to roll, demand, and so on. That is, behave loosely as children are small.

What is the mistakes of the Father in the education of a child?

00:18:14 Father is tied to the fact that my son will go on my footsteps. Most often he is tied to this. As soon as his son is born, he is already "This is my successor." All my successor. And he imposes hope of hopes. But it does not always happen. He has no idea in his head, that he can simply, let's say, a simple person, he does not want to continue your business. And as soon as he sees that his child, his son began to live as he thought he was getting what? Disappointment. Disappointment in life. That's all brings pain, such things do. Jupiter is responsible for ideas, and it puts a person in a shock, when your ideas do not coincide with reality. Many mental illness, such as schizophrenia, they are associated with the planet Jupiter. That is, there is an idea, my child or I should be a poet, or there is a musician, or an artist, and he begins to devote his life to this art. Here he draws paintings all his life, he has an idea that it will once be as appreciated, someone will appreciate it, I will become famous and earn a bunch of money. And your paintings are not needed by anyone, it turns out. No one appreciates them. And thus starts what? Spice quietly or vice versa, fall into even greater despair, he draws on. He has an idea - I want to achieve this my goal, and my son will help me. And the son says: "Dad - you are notching. Your pictures, they are simply ugly, they don't need anyone. "He maybe, and the truth said, but here we begin. In general, people of art they suffer more, because they live more in ideas, in their dreams, they are not landed people. Therefore, father and mother, they should not fly in dreams, do not live there somewhere in the clouds. You need to understand exactly what we live in the material world, which is required for this life.

00:20:18 Ideas, your idea is never, this is a law, your idea never coincides with the idea of \u200b\u200banother person. Therefore, it makes no sense initially rely on what he will continue. How Ivan Grozny killed his son, and Peter I is the same. And what he has ... he also had a heart attack from Peter, when he learned that his son said: "Fruit the whole of your fleet" Yes? "Everything will do everything in a different way" "What kind of son, my son, all my business go to the wind?! All I lived for this, and you all rush?! " Remember, yes, this story. He received stress, strongest stress. He realized that his son, it turns out, is not going to live according to his principles. This is the problem of fathers. Therefore, initially, as soon as the son was born, it was already necessary to allow such an idea that he could be a completely different person, and absolutely will not divide your point of view with you. As soon as you have such protection, there will be no such problems. You were ready for this mentally. I.e, the birth of a child is a very serious thing. Karma came to you, so you should soberly look at these things as a philosopher, look at these things. If he goes, then it usually leads to, that is, there will be anger of the Father. He can say: "Everything, I refuse you, as from my son, because you do not live according to my principles" this also happens. Well, my father will say son: "Well, well, live, as you want then, I am in my own, you yourself" let's say, conflicts arise between generations.

What are the duties of the mother?

00:21:52 So, Dharma Mother, that mother should understand. Mother is a position, a child is a duty.. This is a literal translation from Sanskrit. Mother is a position, position, title. The child is a duty. And we, yes, toy? If she has a son, the boy should not constantly communicate with his mother, as he starts, as the child begins to adopt the power of a woman. Here let's talk about it. Here I remember, the child, if he communicates with someone, let's say with a girl, well, with a woman, with mother, boy, he begins to adopt her quality, more and more. What are the quality of a woman? Is it necessary for a man's quality or not? But he communicates with her constantly. Father no. Either he is at work, or he has no time, either in general it is not in life. And the mother raises his son. Naturally, and since she is a woman, she begins to show this female here. That is, it cultivates emotion, sensitivity. And such a son, when grows, he becomes not suitable for anything. Falls into the army, and what is there to do it? Tormented. He is not able to manifest male qualities. It arises due to the fact that he took over, absorbed female energy. Girl. The girl takes quality from his father, if the father communicates very close to her, raises her constantly. This rule is.

00:23:43 What does Mother do not have to communicate with her son? Does not mean that not to communicate at all. She should not show it these women's such relationships, lobsias, hugs, kissing, "effluent" that's all. "Wuxi-Pusi" for a man is mortally. This means, now you are "effluent", then you will just beat him. There with him "effluent" will be carried out differently. He is not able to protect himself. This is what the problem of maternal education. Mother, she has such, in women at all there is such a tendency, to serve others, so she will serve her son all the time. And when the son grows up, he will have such an idea, to demand the ministry to himself, he will be very selfish, and he will look for his wife, similar to his mother. Right? And such men, they become like, you know, the second child. "Come on, you are serving me, everyone do me, for me everything is decisive" and the wife thinks: "Why is it really?" It becomes very touchy, for example. "You did not kiss me today's wife, I was offended by you" this is a female quality ,. "You do not pay me attention, I'm also offended at you" everything, silent, inflated, goes away. She asks him: "Dear, please, in front of the shelf" "Eeeeh" he cannot. Why can't he? He has no male strength, there is no mental strength to act in this way. He is used to what everyone did for him. Female qualities, manifest themselves that he loves to eat a lot, he does not observe, he is very inert and very tied to women. Remember, if mommies brought up a boy, like this, he licked him, he will drag for women, like this to do so much. Each skirt will be tied. Because it has absorbed this power in childhood, he is used to. He slept with her mother already, until 15 years. Many sleep. Therefore, he was already soaked with her and her body, and her spirit. Everything, he knows what a female body is that you need to enjoy. He will not have strength.

00:26:00 This is why it says that the mother should be very stronger to be with her son, she should not be with him "SuSi-Pusi" So, if the son sees that the mother is tied to him, he begins to exploit it. But the responsibility of a man in what is? Protect and not exploit. But he starts to do it. How he does it? When he sees that the mother is bald from him, then he is the best, it means he is the most beloved, and it can be used. Do you understand? Can be used. "Mom, give me that. Mom, let me "if you don't give - it is a hysterical. "Ma Rudu, Ma here, Ma give me a slive, Ma bring me coffee, maize me breakfast" Ma - the maid, and he is Mr. But this is a mother, he already has a mother to serve, the mother is already at the point of mind, he now has to keep it, help his family. Well, he does not have this idea, because she is tied to it. She will not be able to resist for a long time, and begins to please it. But when Dad begins to spend a male conversation with him, she begins to look at the Father an angry look. Yes? This means "not touch, my" me and my son is one of the essence, she will not let anyone else toward her son, no one, even his wife will not let himself. She got used to enjoy her child. So when it grows, becomes an adult, she begins to hate anyone? All that is connected with his wife, with her children and so on. She begins to climb into their business, bring them up, takes her grandchildren, orders how to behave. That is, "He is my property, and all that is connected with the property of my child is also mine."

00:28:00 And now notice, if you admire it in the family there is some kind of problem, then the daughter-in-law can complain to the mother, well, the mother-in-law, mother-in-law. Remember, the mother will always defend her son, even if he is a scoundrel. Not all mother, but tied, we are talking about attachment, about strong. She blinded, she does not see. The whole family, the whole family, which is spinning near your son, they will always recognize his rights. Suppose, even if they diverged, even if he threw his wife to the street, she acted in Scotchically with her. Mother will say this: "So it is necessary. There is nothing to bother my son. "She can't be. Because strong attachment. Someone was in such a situation? Noticed? When, look when the son is good, if you are the bride of the Son, you are the bride of the Son, it means you are a toy of my son, then I respect you. Well, if you are something against my son, I hate you. Everything. There is no relationship. Therefore, I and my son - the essence of one thing, do not touch me in the form of a son. Any opinion is not an authority for her. I'm talking about women more, because they are stronger than kids, men are less. So the boy is cooked in her juice and its qualities are gaining. He can't, he cannot but ask his mother what to do. Every my own word, every work he is advised to his mother. That is, practically, if the woman marries such a man, she marries her. And many women experience terrible concerns that their husband, her husband. Mom accepts all solutions, and this is sometimes the cause of divorces. Such a daughter-in-law, she cannot respect such a mother, because it behaves very mercenary.

What is destructive for parents strong attachment to the child?

00:30:09 The next moment. She cannot understand that her son is already the Father himself, and that he belongs to another woman, and only for the strength of affection. How is this movie, remember, about Sylvester Stallone, Mom, who is a policeman? Comedy this is this remember? He is already a healthy man, he already jerks everywhere, to the right and left. But she came to him with photographs made there, in diapers, sat there straight, in his area he was there, he told him how he wrote on her hands. You know, such a phenomenon really exists. So they are blinded, they do not see that the child is already 40 years old that he is already a man that he will soon have his grandchildren soon. But for her it is still a little son. In fact, it is a pathology. As psychiatrists are expressed - it is a pathology already. This is an inadequate perception of the world, the disease is the real one. Remember mental diseases arise due to severe affection. This is the main reason. In the way mental illnesses are treated. Pick up a sick person from his attachments and immerse them in another habitat. Everything. Any psycho can be cured by sending it to a uninhabited island. He will immediately understand where he is, he will need to survive there, he will begin to think about the friend. His attachments have already stayed there behind. It can be cured. Drug addicts are so treated, closed them in this, in the monasteries, two years - all, sitting without getting out. Think only God. This is problem. I.e, when feelings come into contact with the objects of feelings - the force of affection increases. If a person wants to get off the bottle, or with addiction, the first thing he should do, he must tear his feelings from the object, stop contacting them. If someone has a strong sexual attachment, it should not be contacted with objects, because the mind, it takes into this toxin.

00:32:10 Even in the Vedas it is said, even a wise person who has learned to own his feelings, he will not be able to resist if it is attacked by these these signals coming from the outside. Old attachments flashed very quicklySo if the mother constantly lives next to his son, attachment becomes more stronger, stronger, stronger and stronger. And then, when the gap occurs, mental disorders, hysterics and so on. So, such people, they do not see the age of the child, so they have no contact. So he remains bad, his wife begins to suffer. Father is not affected by him, as she has already dismissed him for a long time. I.e, The power of attachment maternal even removes his father from his family, that is, her husband. The husband here is no longer any meaning. In this way, the consequences of affection - loss of common sense. She does not allow anyone to her son and nothing.

00:33:11 Write, then loss of truth. The second point, loss of truth. That is, she cannot look truthfully. This also applies to his father if he is blind due to attachment to his children. Once I saw one person, he is a major entrepreneur. His own son began to quarrel with him, demand that he gave him a share of production, and he did not like the idea herself that he was so rude and cynically demanded. I warned it that you know if you give him now, he ruins all your company completely. First, he does not want you as an older, as the owner of a full-fledged, how further he will listen to the advice of your, you are an experienced person, he is not. This means that he will do everything in his own way. The next thing he will do, he will remove all your workers and everyone who you had, will put his own. And you are professionals who were, who were going for years, is already nicely all. He will do it inevitably, he pulls his friends. Then then what will happen. If he has been lying so much, he will start your money from the earnings to delay, in beerushki there, in restaurants and so on. Yes, he seemed to understand everything "yes yes yes, I see it. I see that there are such trends "and decided how to remove him, generally removed him from production. "Until you learn the Father to respect, you will not get anything at all." And what do you think? After some time, he could not withstand, says: "Well, this is my son." By phone, I called: "I can't, he demands from me. He publicly Hamit me, I need to give him to calm down "I say:" Well, do it. " It will be as it was said because it is tested by the Millenniums that there will be nothing new. And he gave him. Exactly a year later, he ruined the whole company, dismissed all these people, put his bosses, some women appeared there.

00:35:11 Where is the money, there are women. Remember this rule. And depraved, bad women. And how they started these guys there, in the full program to lower. Then some gangsters appeared there, the rewriting began, Chicago there, in general, was formed small. Everything. I recently met him in Ukraine. It comes such, says: "Everything, I have only one car remained. The whole thing of my life, all my life I built this enterprise. Nothing left "And he is now hiding from the gangsters. Helped, yes, the boys? Dad helped the boy. Here I remember, here is such a help, it is destructive for the child. But the child can put pressure on you, on father's feelings, on maternal feelings. "Are you parents or who?" That is, parents must be very sober, they need to know the truth that happens in their hearts, as much as they deserve it all get. This is done not with the goal, how would they show that I am here is the owner, and you are nobody. This is done in order to protect your child, from the detrimental influence of these money or this situation, because he has not matured yet, he is not ready to get it. It will cause him as mental and physical. This can also occur.

00:36:38 Previously, the kings knew it very well. The Vedakh describes the story, as one great king gave his kingdom not to his heir, not his son. And the son of his minister. All his relatives were shocked. "Why did you do that? Are you crazy?" He says: "We don't belong to us here, this young man is a very talented strategist, a very reasonable person. He will take care of the state, and my son will turn everything, and I will not give him. Because I, first of all, the king, and then the Father already "and indeed this man was very competent, he raised the kingdom, and so the new dynasty was formed. Thus, in history such things happened often. Therefore, the king is a position by and large. The entrepreneur is large - this is also a king, only small. And the principles work the same. If you have subordinates, you mean you kind of ruler. Therefore, you need to know that the child giving some kind of property when it is not more mature, you can ruin not only your own, your business, but also to deprive the opportunity to work to those people you have previously defended. Thus, the Father protects the truth, and not its mercenary interests and the interests of their children. The next thing that occurs is a loss of relationships. Because he is used to exploit you. The relationship there can not be clean. As the result of all this - and. Thus, there is no dharma, the child has not learned anything. Therefore, the son of the Father must learn to earn and defend those who surround people, in particular since the mother with his.

How to raise a girl?

00:38:29 Let's look at girls now. They adopt the whole experience of parenting from the mother. But the girls are stronger than the dad. Dad should not enjoy her, he must teach her to care for men. But now there are more and more such deviations that girls their own fathers are sexually exploited. Heard about it, especially in the States it is very developed. This is a whole tragedy already. Although his vocation, the Father, to protect his daughter from sexual debauchery, and he makes the opposite things. That is, pedophilia among parents, fathers are very often found. Therefore, the father should not enjoy the child, daughter. Especially when she starts this period transition. He should not hold her on his hands, scend with her. Just the girl begins to get used to this idea that this is a man, in the end, father. This is this game of floors begins. Father must teach his daughter and. If he is with her XJ, then she will demand from her husband Xu, all the same will demand. She will endure their relationship to her husband, or to other men, because Dad did it. He taught her how to be mistress. "My daughter is my favorite, you are the best, you are the best, are you the most beautiful, are you the most beautiful" clear? "Everything for you do"

00:39:59 Mother is usually striking to her, to her daughters. Fathers no. Because they are diverse. Chocolates, candy, then, se. Father can bring her candy, he must say: "Here are sweets, you need to do so to treat everyone at the table. Please cover the table, you entrust you. You are the hostess here here, right? You are a young mistress. Please prepare the table for the whole family "Dad can drive it to the store. May ask her: "How do you think it is better to cook on the table today, see" she must go like it with him, and he suggests what to do. That is, he trains her. Why will your daughter listen to the father than the mother? What do you think? Because it is the opposite sex. All women are always compliant with men. But a woman with a woman is very hard, as well as men. They can even fight with each other, resist. But when a woman stands, even she is deceiving him, he knows it, he still suffers. So act gender, gender. Sex life works like that. Next, which also needs to be understood. Parents should not be dependent on the child. Dad should not indulge in its whims, you need to say: "You should not be so capricious. Why do you behave like this? I don't like it "that is, see what idea. The girl will do what a man likes. If the father likes "Oh, like you," she will do so even more. I must say: "You are beautiful, but when you smile" that is, he gives her this impulse, charge. "You are beautiful when you smile. I really like you, when you have a good hairstyle, and not loose hair, "she sawing somewhere somewhere, since she dismissed her hair and his pants, and she went like a movie. Dad should not laugh, he must respond immediately to it. He will be: "What are you? What it is? What I see? I do not like it "understand?

00:42:10 If you don't like a man, she will be a matter of preventing it. If the mother says: "What are you doing like that with laying hair?" For example, "here" she will say: "Well, so mom, everything ... Well, if the dad will say - she will react. Suppose, see, such an example. Here you can, you can, the girl, let's say, the teenager to say the same thing, but if the guy says it: "I don't like such a hairstyle," she will remore instantly. Understandable idea? What should my father do? So, the daughter, chastity in it raises the father, and the mother suggests how to care for her father.

Why should a man make decisions in the family?

00:43:06 So, the next moment. Conclusion - the father should not be tied to his relatives, to others. If he is tied to relatives, he does not have his own opinion. No opinion - no one will respect him. Remember this rule for men. No opinion - no. Women most often asked for men the same thing. Same. And he says: "I already told you that. How much can you repeat? " Why do they behave like this? " Why do I need to think when I have a husband?" In this idea. They like the very fact that the husband really responsibly thinks of everything and decides. Yes, girls? Do you like when a man makes decisions? And I don't really like women when the husband does not make a decision, but says: "Think myself, the decision herself" and from now on, she starts straining, her psyche strains. She is not designed to make decisions, it is hard for it to make mentally. She certainly can, but very hard. And then she will say: "Listen, I'm so tired at all. Will you do something or not? " And he: "What to do something?" "Well, at least something, at least some decision myself" "Well, go and decide," see, a woman asks every time: "What kind of juice will you drink? Cherry or grape? " He says: "I don't care," remember - men renounced creatures, they are up to the light bulb, what to drink juice. I drink liquid and all, any liquid I drink. Other women. They do not understand how it is not clear what to drink. "What are you drinking?" He: "What do you want pour" she: "VSS" saw, yes? Start starts. "Lord, what are you? Well, pour itself at your discretion "she cannot make a decision. I must say: "This is a pour." Ltd., understandable.

00:45:04 Who was in such a stupor? Raise hands, women. Clearly, where does it come from? She cannot accept decisions. A man must indicate what to do, specifically. What kind of cutlet is where to put on which side of the plate. "That's here, the plug here, a spoonful here, bread here. Clear?" "Clear" fuuhuh, all. "I got sick, what should I do?" "Accept aspirin" "What?" "Aspirin - he is aspirin. Won lies there »" Where? " Walks. "AAA, I feel bad" "Well, aspirin," why she can't do it? Because he should specifically give a directive in which bank, what color, what a pill, where it lies. And even better, what to do? So that he gave her. "Here's a tablet, already diluted, drink" "Oooy, that's what I needed to me" understand what female is? Therefore, men who do not take responsibility do not make decisions, they are tormented by women. They overheat the processor, boils. Then at the end of the "Error System Disc", pressing. Women need to understand? This is the same to the girls and the boys applies. What should a woman, what should a woman understand, in relation to men? Remember: they do not need anything. Just write it down somewhere, large font. Do not need anything. Their life for this is intended. - This is a special human form of life, for renunciation. "I want an inflatable mattress" My husband will say: "Do not" "" How not? We will lie on the snow, on the mattress "in the campaign, inflatable. He will say: "You can climb into the berry, will be warmer" "You are some strange, well, this is the mattress, inflatable. My girlfriend had such a thing, "he will say:" He will switch quickly. "

00:47:13 How does a man choose shoes? He takes this way and looks. He does not look at the beauty, he looks like this, it takes off the sole after 5 minutes or not. How does a woman watching? "Oh, beautiful, I want a" car if you buy. Woman: "Ah, what a beautiful salon," a man under the hood lies, looks out there inside. His hood is not particularly interested, the appearance is not interested, interests - what inside. Logic is such, male. Do you understand? The same woman, the girl is small, she has the same logic. She needs to specifically clearly give directives in food. "So my daughter, now I will teach you to cook food. You take, mix the dough. Clear? In the percentage one to one, all mix and sculpt. Clear?" "No" she needs to show, give the directive, as is done. If she did it with his own hands, she will remember. They work the mind so much. But remember for a long time. Therefore, we must try to make children, especially the girls themselves more. No need to say: "So, I don't need, I'll do it now," no need. Let it be mistaken, more mistaken, let it study. The more she will learn, the more it will memorize. And it's unnecessary to be angry that she doesn't work out. Remember, the female psyche works like this. If she did not work out, and you will tell her that you have hands-hooks, she will no longer suit the stove and will not do anything. Because hands-hooks and everything, she will look at her hands and study why they are hooks. Here is a question for men. Have you ever paid attention that you have on your fingers, on your hands 10 fingers, right? And do you have a favorite finger? And the woman has a favorite finger. Raise your hand, Women, who of you your favorite finger is? Which you like, look at him. To be honest, lift, raise your hands. There is? Favorite finger. Men should not come to mind, such an idea, a favorite finger. I love myself what I am. Finger to be a favorite is very difficult to understand him. What is different from this? Unclear.

What is the difference in the education of the girl from the upbringing of a boy?

00:49:21 Thus, you need to raise the girl, I don't need to say such words: "You are fooling" the boy you say: "You are a fool." He will say: "That? Fool, so what? " He's drum, fool he or not. He ... it does not hurt him. He can even hit this way: "What are you doing here?" "Next, let's go, best" that is, they are not so touchy. Girls are very touchy, especially girls. Incorrect word - all. If you say, let's say if the wife says: "Behemotink you are mine." He just joked, you are a hippiecine, it's still her abdomen so - "Bechemotin Ltd.. This is a man's attitude, you know? You can do the boys like that, or to a friend. "Something you are, Kabanet, Hrew" are men, you see, men's jokes. If we speak folk. With a woman is so impossible. "Kabaneti, Hrew?", She is Oops, Hrew, also cabnet. Everything ... to the mirror for three hours, a full medical examination goes, where I rode, and where I did a chrus, in the same place. She recalls, her process earned, where was Hrew? In, here I grew out once. "My God, I Rassed, I Okangala. So my husband has a mistress "right, lover. So, already compares ... Hook starts. Walks with a sour face. "What's the matter?" She is afraid to rheric. One day, the wife comes home, she's so the ball swollen, and here is narrow. "What's with you" "pulled up" the scornful hunger begins. Just one joke. Here I remember the men - do not joke with women, it is very bad for her. They do not absorb it all, not the case, not the form of the body.

00:51:30 How should not woman joke with a man? It applies to girls the same thing. They are small girls, yes? Small. Therefore, they react very painfully for it. You can not talk to the girl that "You, something you have a Glazik mow, daughter. Glazik mows, you need to pass you. " She has even more, once - the eye squeeed, from fear. Noticed some problem - silently treat. No need to emphasize that you mow, and where you do not smoothly. Women are very tied to their body. Any change in the body, they react painfully for it. Men to the light bulb. He sat down at the table, the stomach put on the table, sits. "Well, what I have such. Love me, what am I "understandable?" Boys, it means that there should not be women in relation to men and to boys, mothers. In no case do not compare your son with another boy. Do not do this. This means you generate aggression in it. He will compete with this kid. "Here look, that's that guy is normal, here he is a pitch, and you're smrup" or "you are weak" - these things. "Sports must be engaged, weakly" do not call him aptive. That is, men react when they are denied weakness in some. Especially if this mother says. If the father says "you are weak", it stimulates him, he begins to go and do. If this mother said "you are weak", he begins the process of such, he begins to hate women, because they hurt him. There is a complex of inferiority. And the greater the mother like that in relation to Him, the more he will be afraid of women, he will be afraid of his flaws. In this idea. And then to establish themselves in his abilities, he will begin to offend her, beat will begin. Very rude will begin to behave in relation to the woman.

00:53:39 Mother should never beat the boy, his father should not beat the girl. In general, the girl, the girl is better not to beat at all. The boys can sometimes put in place. But the Father should do it, not a mother. Mother must complain, say: "Father, please, he offends me" See, he offends me. All, father will talk to him on male. A woman should not gloat after punishment, like this: "What? Received?! Received!?" Do you understand? This is torture for him. Above him, over his ego, man humiliated. Father should not speak his wife, as he punished him: "These are our conversations, we will understand everything and my mother - do not climb. We will understand "understandable? Mother may regret his son, it is normal, naturally, but there must be a limit. These images are these crossings to delete.

How to raise a child with respect for others?

00:54:39 \u200b\u200bSo, if your child, if your child begins to stand out before others, and parents support it - it causes, in relation to it. That is, the father should not have a son to indulge. Suppose if it has a car, you do not need to carry it on the car, if 5 meters go to school. And if, after all, gives him a car, the teenager is already, he must say: "You have to carry those who live very long. Help people. Help classmates, carrying them "that is, he can give some kind of property, in order to help others. "If I see that you ride girls there, you enjoy, you will not get this car. Everything is enough "That is, the father can give some things to rental, but not to give him full use. In order not to develop a sense of property in it. So, you do not need to excessively allocate your child from another crowd. That is, if he studies at school, he should not stand out. Suppose the child in the fifth grade he has a clock Golden Rolex. Father may have, yes, such a right, buy him a day for a birthday to give. He can say: "You can wear them, but please not to school. This is not very decent, this disrespect, in relation to other people, "in fact it is. This disrespect, in relation to others. Now imagine, such a fury here, with a diamond necklace, everything is translated there: "Here, look, how I got on your seminars. Have you seen? That's how guys. So I exploit you "such thoughts will appear, only such, others will not appear. "It is clear where he got all this"

00:56:21 I once remember, like Oleg Gennadevich, he had a computer here, well, it is necessary to work there, not that luxury, just needed. And one woman says: "It is clear what our money goes. Here they are where, computers buy "Here I remember when you have some kind of deal, you work with people, let's not, do not put expensive things. People will misunderstand it. Here is a child who went to school, he has dear things. His jacket for 1000 dollars, crocodile shoes. Why do parents do it? They show what all you are nothing, see what my son, he is cool. And then remember, they will begin to beat this son, that is, fights will begin, disassembly, trouble will be. Strong, both in the Son and these these people surrounding. The same daughter, she should not tell himself in relation to others. Does not mean that now, as these walk, as Cheburashka is terrible there. That is, moderately, moderately. Understand you are the same as everyone. That is, the task of parents to explain to them that you are the same as everyone. There is nothing special in you. Thus, if children demand something from parents. The requirement means that this attack.

The role of grandparents in raising a child

00:57:50 So, let's consider the relationship with relatives, long, that is, grandparents. If parents are tied to their relatives, and because of greed go on them, then you will not be a complete owner of the education of children. That is, what is the idea? Strong attachment to grandmothers, to the grandfathers who are promised to you. So? As soon as you have become under the dependence of your close relatives, you will not be able to fully manage your child, they will use them. Who noticed such a phenomenon? So, it happens. Someone now from their loved ones will begin to blackmail you. For example, "do son so", "give me grandson," "I will feed it with chocolate, and you will treat him" in this idea. "I will coffin him, and you will treat" your problems already. Therefore, your task is written. The biggest problem is to give your child to the confused grandparents. This is a problem, they just will turn it off to death. Why is this happening? Because they do not have an understanding, how to educate it is necessary, they just got a toy, begin to play them. Your task is to explain to parents that this is not a toy. Please, we have a tough rule, we have and so on. You must instruct your relatives. Only in this case, you can give them.

00:59:22 The next moment. You must understand one thing. Why in general grandmothers and grandfathers like this cynically climb into our lives? Without parsing and without compromise. Who guess? Because we use them. Here you and the secret. These are free nannies on which you can reset your diet and solve your problems. As soon as you launched such an idea to my head, drop the child with free nanny, and this means that you do not pay anything, you just exploit your parents. They start to attach to him, they raise them, they are in the morning to the evening with children, and they are already beginning to consider it their child. And then we start screaming for them for it: "It's not your business, this is my son! What we climb "starts, scandals, blood insults, with crocodile tears. By increasing, it goes, and you can not do anything. Did you pass them on education? More precisely, they just threw off them. Therefore, you do not need to turn your older parents into free kindergartens. By the way, in kindergarten there is no such phenomenon, no one at your child does not attend, although it is located there. Because they know, we just temporarily work here, and they pay for it. Grandma You do not pay anything? She gets used to him. Thus, all your knowledge, all your plans, will be destroyed on your pure family life.

What is unaccounted? What is her power?

01:01:08 Rule. Affection always gives rise to slavery. The attachment generates slavery. Parents later become old people, but if they are wise, they will always give advice. That is, what is the idea? Do not exploit anyone. The power of unpaidness always gives freedom.. Look, who had cases that the authorities were mocked at work? They just mocked, cynically behaved in relation to you. Do you know why this happens? Because he understands that you are fully tied to this work and to these money, and you are not going anywhere, you will not even come to court, you will not even try to do anything, because you are afraid of losing your place. So the whole nation is in slavery. No solidarity, no one can resist, prove their rights. So, only because of affection, and that's it. There is no other reason. "So, guys, from tomorrow I will not pay you to pay 100% salary, reduce by 50%. Any questions?!" "There is. And why?" "You will be fired, first of all if you ask such questions" "Well, I feel silent" understandable? "You can't get vacations too" "Why?" "Where are you going" well, if all the workers just take and left. And what would he do, this entrepreneur? All, everyone went away, no one. "On, work yourself" understandable? What is a strike? The strike is, a kind, demonic course in solving problems. Strike means they show their non-affection. And it acts. If the chief of idiot, he brings people to strikes.

01:03:05 But you have to understand, do not allow yourself to humiliate. How to do it? From the very beginning. When you are suitable for work, do not show your attachment. That is, you do not need to sign an agreement with shaking hands. "Yes, yes, yes, I want to work. Yes, I really want "" Here it is, yeah, this donkey, we will go on it "everything. That is, it is possible to refuse with honor and dignity. For example, who noticed that you have a position to some worker, the position, you have functions defined, but the functions that you should not perform are still applied to these functions? Who was that? "Please, you still do it, still do it" and it is difficult for you to argue, because you are afraid of losing your place. And he starts to operate you. Here is an option how to get out of this position. "Sorry, please, with all my respect for you, you can once again hear from your mouth, what is my duty? This is, that's what it is written in the contract about this? " "Yes" "But this is written in the contract?" "No" "Why are you then offering it then? Why don't you respect me like a person? If you want me to do it, please either pay extra, or hide a porter of some, or a loader "Who can say so? Only one who is unacceptable may say so. Do you understand what the power of unacchanged? And let's see even deeper. Why are we finding out in this situation? Because initially the idea of \u200b\u200bus, faith, that this work will be the reason for my existence. Clear? This is your religion. Religion, in work.

01:04:47 We do not believe in God, we do not believe in the rules of the Universe, we believe in the boss. And get from Bosa. You do not need to throw calls, you do not need to swear, to beat your heel into the chest - it is wrong. It is necessary to competently put positions. "I have such a position. If I don't like me if any complaints, please, I will listen to them. It does not enter my functions, you do not need to insult in this way. I do not beat you. You see, I am a person with dignity "is normal, it is grateful. Quiet, competently explain to the person that you are wrong. "You have such a position, you have such a position, I have such a position. Therefore, let's do everyone. I do not need to exploit me "And I want to tell you one thing that two options: Either he respects you, if he respects, either remove you. But if she removes you, remember if he will remove you from him will be the collapse, it will crash - everything will fall apart. Because you, you have the power of unparallences, you have faith in God, and you have the concept of honor and dignity. These are divine qualities, and demigods on your side. If there is no such faith, you can't do that. A person who has some kind of position, he knows how to do something well, he is not afraid to lose his job. Because he is always needed everywhere. Hence the conclusion - you must become a high-level specialist. You can say: "Well, you can dismiss me. I think that you will have problems, and not me. I will find a job, but you are honored, therefore, do not. So behave. Maybe even this and for the better, I will find a more worthy society than you "understand, you can even disperse peacefully, put in place of such people.

01:06:36 In the human consciousness there is such a nature, to exploit the other. Never let it do to yourself. You will not notice how to ride, and below, below and below. It's like in this film "Toy", remember, hands, shook his hand, Oops - the hand was wet, fired because of this. Why does he behave like this? Because everyone is afraid, they are afraid of this dismissal. There is no faith that you can be protected that it protects you. Believe If you are laid to have money, you will have them. You will be at this work, or on another work you will be. And if you are not supposed to have money, you will still fall - they will not be. As in this anecdote: Ask "Well, people still go to work?" "Go" "salary pay" "no" "Well, you need to take 10 percent for the entrance, that is, 10 rubles for entry" cool, yes? All the same W go. Why do they go, where they do not pay? This is such a stupid attachment. During this time, instead of kicking up asphalt to beat, people, miners, it would be possible to join. It could be? Casis? Do not want to give - we will steal. Or Won, Bottles go to gather. It will be more sensible. That is, see affection is very narrowing consciousness, does not allow to expand. Business private, people who are less attached have more money. Such a law. Has 100 rubles people, 100 dollars, yes? Look, a tied man like thinking? "So, I have 100 dollars. I will buy a carpet, buy a wardrobe. Everything, no longer buy anything, "he quickly runs, quickly wants to get rid of them. Because he has no idea to put this money into circulation. To put it means to give away from myself, and he cannot, he already tied to them. The very idea that this piece will not be with me, does not allow him to make an attachment. And the attachment itself to the result also does not allow to make attachments.

01:08:39 "And what if" they say, "I will lose it?" So, see, I have a bun, 100% bun, I have a kefir 100%. Little remains for tea. And I offer a new job. And if it does not go there? I will lose a bun and kefir. No, I'm tied to a bun and kefir ... so you won't get more! Clear? So karma works. That's how businessmen differ from ordinary people. They are not so attached strongly, they just know that you need to constantly invest, clean the paper from ourselves, clean, clean. And what do workers dors do? Papers here. That's the whole difference. So, look, the children should not, should not be tied to property, otherwise they will develop greed. Then they can even deal with their economy, they will not be able to deploy their own and so on. The next moment, due to the protection of your dignity before children, do not allow to humiliate before children. That is, do not be fooled on their whims. In Vedic times, if children do not listen to parents, they are released, but with a nodule in hand. Give them a nodule, a stick: "Here are three crusts of bread. To such a village, you will have enough to go. Here is Napti, here's a wand. This is what you earned for all this time. Go sons, come on. You do not want to live with your parents, you consider yourself smart, you think that I am so mighty, I can, everything I know, we have fools. Stay, I let you go. I'm not tied to you "Well, where will he go? Is it necessary?

01:10:35 Well, how do we do? "Cut!", In fact, do not voluntarily. We say: "I will save you"? Not. He says: "Well, what else do you drink me, mom? Fairy tale about "Pastle" come on. " He does not believe. How does the wife get rid of the annoying groom? Well, a woman. "That's how the case was with me. I do not know. A man here stuck to me, the 5th year lives me, I can't get rid of it. Well, I can't. Comes, drink. I'm telling him: "Win the well" he says: "Now, mother, I will write down, does not chinit. 5th year I can not drive "Here you can generally 5th year of man do not drive someone else's, in your apartment? What does he do? Present. Well, at least something does anything? Well, it is simply present and everything is present on the sofa. It is tied to it, so does not react. She is His: "Everything", or like this: "Load everything!", Opens the door: "Leave !!!". "Wait a bit. Yes, I need to lie down "" Leave! " And he does not leave. Have met with such phenomena? Because he knows exactly what it is a masquerade, circus, in the heart there is no one, attachment keeps. Let a man at least such, even drunk, well, to be present, simply attended. Already good in the soul. As the exhibit costs - well. I look, and it becomes easier, it seems not one. Clear? And while he will be present there, there will be no other normal. I.e, the force of affection even does not allow a woman to marry normally, for a normal other person. Not drunk, but a sober, with all amenities.

01:12:29 The same with a woman. A man is tied to women, although she clearly mocks him, but he is very tied to her, will tolerate. So, to save children from such a future, they have to be taught from childhood unaccounted. As soon as "this is mine, this is my apartment, this is my home" say: " Stop son. Daughter is not yours. What is yours? And not mine. In general, this whole world belongs to God. " Do you understand? "The Earth also belongs to God. We are just guests here, temporarily occupy this place. " That is, the fight against "I, I, and my"

01:13:09 So, gives the following, which gives the power of unacchanged. The ability to be truthful, we have already spoken. Attachment to money gives lies, attachment to positions - you will also have to lie if you are very attached. Attachment to the son gives rudeness from the son. "Son, why are you doing so?" "Because where are you going to go" That's all. He cannot understand the idea that the mother can, in the end, to refuse you. Previously, it was considered the worst thing when parents refused their children for some sins of heavy. It was considered the worst punishment. We do not care. So, unprotected gives sober thinkingThis means that parents are not played in parents, and help children learn to live. Unaccounted - this means, does not mean the absence of love. On the contrary, love is the most real love. We are fighting with its shortcomings. But we, people prefer to see in the Son what? What I want to see. We do not see the rest.

Raising a boy without a father. (examples from history)

01:14:15 I will tell you such an example. When, when children grow up in such a style, he becomes the uninitiated. Here is an example, with Alexander Macedonian. Almost his mother made him a great man. This is the merit of his mother. While Philip, his father, he drunk and was engaged in debauchery, Kutil, she brought him up. How did she bring him up? He asked his father, oh my mother: "Why does the Father behave like this?" He was ashamed, for his father, because it seems like he is the king, and all around them mocked him. And one day he quarreled with his father, when he was already the same, he was 16 years old. He says: "Father, stop in a drunken form to appear" says "Well on the courtyard. Why "says," I see "says," these grinners "say," your faces of yours, these, courtiers? They are just grinning. You do not respect yourself, "he told him there, there" You're a puppy! " There, "How can you fly ..." and they rushed straight, before everyone. It was in the history of Alexander Macedonsky, and he was very disappointed, he went to his ward and sobbed, and his mother came to him and says: "You should not behave so much with your father. If you want to return the honor of the Father, become a great father myself, and become a great king. And then you can say that my father was Philip "you understand what idea? She herself knew that he was drunk that he had a rowdy. But the mother never allowed himself to behave. See what she did? She found a move. This is the duty of the mother. Even if the father is miserable, it is angry, she should not criticize him. If she told him that "yes, your father is drunk" imagine what would happen to him? Since then, so Macedonian himself said that "the mother pushed me to this idea, to become a great king" it was a motive, his inner hidden motive.

01:16:08 And he says: "Mother, what do I need to do to become a great king?" "To begin with, you must learn strategies how to do it. My father will teach you "" Well, I can not learn from him, I do not like him, I do not want to see him "" No, father teach you. Maybe he is drunk, maybe he behaves in an inappropriate way, but he is a good warrior, he spent most of his life in the campaigns. You can't throw it into it. Please go to my father and ask him for forgiveness, let him teach you "he did it. And my father began to train him. He taught him military art how to build phalanges how to use various types of weapons, well, as it should be king. And when he graduated from his studies, there was a coup, the attempt of the coup, and the father was killed in the arena directly, and they tried to even kill Alexander, and his mother saved him. She, as he saved it, she in time with the help of certain manipulations quickly raised himself to the throne and took the brazers of the board to their hands. And he says: "Look" says, "Son. Look, son, what does the little fools mean, "says" the king. So far, "says" men dried out, we did not lose the kingdom so much. Never "says," Alexander does not drink "the covenant him gave him, she gave him. And she looked around very brutally with these confused, who tried to make a coup and killed her husband. And since then, Alexander, he, he had such a habit, he was never, nowhere, when he was already walking in Europe, well, he won all the countries when he walked, he never relaxed. It he remembered from his mother. Moreover, she constantly wrote him letters: "Son, remember" says, "Covenant. Excessive pleasures will lead to death. Never "says," are not wound on women, and never "says," do not listen "says" envious advisers "

01:18:00 That is, practically, she led. He did everything that his mother told him. And here is the result - the victory was. At 23, he won polim. Just because once she defended his father's honor, his father. " Do not be like this, glorify your father. To return him the honor "Classic, yes? When he won, a very famous historical fact, he was won, he was on a white horse, it means that, well, I got up on my piles and shouted: "Remember, I am Alexander the Great, son of Philippe. More so that none of you smiles, I have not seen these Oscals here. Anyone who else will smile, let it fit to me and say that I'm not the son of Philip, "everything, all his bang raised, everyone was respected, everyone was honored. Philip entered the story, although he was such, not quite the right person. That's how it is possible to help your son with the help of proper upbringing. This is the answer to the question who is now brings up a child, boy, without a father. It was advised to marry Roxane, on the Byzantine queen, although she was another nationality. All the Greeks were against. Mother said: "Do this. And you will win Persia. Without a sword, without war, "he did so, and indeed Persia was all his, and his army was replenished with Persians immediately, went even further. Just the advice of the mother. That is, what is the conclusion? All the way she won the authority in front of him, and then she could already give him the necessary advice. This is what we talked about. In those days, women knew how to raise children.

01:19:50 By the way, the same was the same with Samson, the same story. Remember the story with Samson? So Samson was born in biblical times, he was son. By prediction, he had to appear the hero in Israel, who will free them from slavery. And the wise men predicted it, and it came true. This child was born, called him Samson, he sounded his voice from the sky, name him with Samson. And he still told his voice from the sky: "Do not streak his hair never" Samson's hair was power. And at the age of 15 years, when he helped to remove Rye, everyone noticed that he took the pitchfork, stunted in the hay, this huge stack of hay raised, one. That is, they noticed that he had an extraordinary force. And at this time there were Felistamlane, they won the territory, they made such a raid, as in their time Tatar-Mongola on Russia. So, there were girls who were also worked with this wheat, they came and saw these girls, and decided to undelivered over them, there were about 200 riders. So they got off their horses and tried to rape them. And he was then a boy, well, for 15 years. They shouted, they say: "Help, help, someone" and he was so confused, and he did not know what to do. And here, this is the fury of him embraced that his own so fellow villagers, girlfriends, so they abruptly over them. And he approached one, pushed, and he fell along with her horse. And he understood his power. And he began to beat another. In general, he killed them all, all 200 people, one. Yes, he found some kind of bone, bone. Several people hit one blow at once. And this rumor reached the Tsar Felistemlyansky, they say that Samson, has some kind of strange strength.

01:21:38 I will not tell the whole story, the idea is that when he went with the mission, he gathered a small army and went to Felistamlians, and he says: "I have all the conquer, of them all, and slavery will be destroyed." And the Tsar of Felistemlyansky, he realized what to do, he realized that there was a mystic behind it. He sent Dalil, a prostitute. That is, they studied him for a very long time. The enemies, spying behind him, and one of these spies noticed, he didn't breathe exactly to women. That is, is conducted on them. And he told Tsar Felistemlyansky. He says: "Excellent, send Dalil" She must fall in love with himself and we learn what is his power. And this story further as unfolded. She fell in love with him, and it so happened that she also fell in love with him, as it usually happens. But she had a task, find out what is his power. And one day he fears. When they lay in bed he told that: "I have in my hair" says "power. I know that my ancestors were told to me, there was a voice from the sky, that I don't cut my hair. Therefore, I do not even allow anyone to touch the hair. Most likely, there is my power "she, it means that he fell asleep when he fell asleep, she cut his hair with a knife. And it made it with great reluctance. Moreover, it agreed with the king of Felitesmlians that they would not harm him. But they were deceived, and her too. In general, the end of what? They wipes to his eyes, dismissed his body, the knives were cut off the whole face, the fact that Dalila fell in love with him so that well there, intrigues, their ambitions were. And he was sitting in this cage, then Felistamlans attacked their city, ruined him, killed all the inhabitants. And the mother took the staff and came to him on foot. In those days, the mother was allowed to her son, even if he is an enemy. Represent what people were there?

01:23:23 She came to him and says: "Son, come to me" Samson heard the voice of the mother and he began to cry, says: "Mom, mom, that I did" she says: "Stop squat" and hit him The cheek, slapped him, was allowed, savory. He says: "Mother, their beatings nothing" says "compared to your slap. Why do you "say," I'm so "says," bad, and you kill me "she will catch him again. "You are talking like a slave, and not as a warrior. You sent our ancestors with the goal. You had hope. Gods hoped on you. And you behaved on some kind of prostitute, as you could "and she still beat him in the face. "You're a villain, I refuse you as a son if you do not return the honor and dignity of our family. Go and conquer them. Because this is presenter of your destiny. Enough to whine "cool? And then here, after this case, her mother was gone. And he became a mantra such a repeat: "God is my power. God my power "heard history? "God is my strength" and he worked on the quarries, along with slaves by others in captivity. And the guards noticed that after work he continued to twist this quarry. One. There, several hundred people were twisted, and he twisted it alone, and every time everything is stronger and stronger. The strength came to him. And they told the king, and he strained: "What is it? He says, "Hair cut off," says, "we shave it every time. Where he appears "and he repeated" God my power "everything, he was not hoping on his hair, but on God already. That is, the mother gave him this charge. And he said, says ... Ah, God is my power. And when he returned, hence his strength, he asked Dalil, bring me to the palace and arrange such a situation. And Dalila repented very much, she did not expect such a turnover that there would be an abuse of him, and on these people. And here it was tied to two pillars chains, and mocked him there, a piece was twisted for him, he was hungry. And he repeated the mantra here this "God is my power" and then the mother came. And he says: "Mother, I will fulfill your desire, I will return the honor of our family. Now run from here "

01:25:31 And Dalila heard it, says: "What do you want to do now?" He says: "Run also from here" "No, I will not leave here until you forgive me" and she got on his knees and began to ask him for forgiveness. He says: "Dalila go, go away," and there is one of the suicide, the courtesy of this king of the Schap is a matter, and he also ran away. In general, the mother left and this court king. What ended. And then he also shouted: "Listen" says "me" says, "People. I will show you God's strength "says," not the power of Samson. Get your own, villains "and he began to pull these chains. In general, he piled this palace. The whole palace was pounded, completely, the whole of their army was poured. Then he came out with the chains, and so she walked, all the colons threw it, destroyed the whole city. Samson entered the story. This is an absolute fact, it is not a legend. Here he is blind when he already fell at the end and these stones were lying on it. He means dying. And the mother with this Dalila was found him, pulled it out, and he says: "Mother, I'll go only if you forgive me," then she kissed him and began to gently contact him as to his son. You have a son there, well, showed your feelings already, feelings of love maternal. That is, what is the idea? If you see that the child is mistaken, the mother should be very, resistant in this regard. But does not mean that she is a tear in life. At the right time, use this power, maternal debt, and at the right time to express themselves these emotions as a mother. And you know what Samson's life ended? He said such a phrase: "Mother, I performed, I" says "executed not only" says, "the will of the gods and your will. In the end, I "says" found "says," the world in his heart. I found "says" in him the Lord "and he left these words. Until now, the samsone, you see, still have these legends, there are many monuments in honor of him. He lived in biblical times. That is, it turns out more than 5 thousand years ago, and that's right.

Manifestation of love in ignorance and passion. Why does jealousy to the child appear?

01:27:33 Thus, parents must be very chaste, wise people. The same story and with this, with the Odyssey. The same as he sailed there, his mother continued to rule, and she never allowed to think badly about his son. That is, what is the idea? If the mother cares about his son, no enemies can destroy him if she gave, invested the power of piety in his heart. Thus, let's look at what kind of love are. , and. Distorted, distorted love turns into. Let's look at these moments. The jealousy of the husband arises when the mother is tied to the child. That is, she talks only with him, all emotions only to Him and her husband, the husband feels a shortage of communication. This means that Mom got carried away, overly. I forgot that in addition to her child, there are still surrounding people who also need love. Who noticed such phenomena? What is very hard? I once talked with such a girl, her child was in his arms. I spoke to her, I noticed that she could not hear me. She is so fascinated by her child, she just does not listen to you. It was very unpleasant. That is, you are nothing, you are not, you're an empty place. People who cannot control their feelings, they start openly jealous, claim claims. Thus, fully examples. Mother who has a child should understand that other family members should not be forgotten. Most often, the jealousy also flows the children in relation to the younger. Because he used to be loved, now he is not a loved one. They begin to jealous to the baby. They begin the problem between themselves, disassembly.

01:29:39 Mother should never have pets. Rule. Father also should not have pets. Everything, everyone is loved equally. AND so that there is no jealousy to younger, you need to learn to serve as older. You give candy the youngest: "Go treats first the elder brother, then a senior sister, then eat yourself" Here in such a style. But there are such: "He first of all" if he is small and in the first place, then everyone else will be jealous. Also, old men can be jealous of children. Have you noticed that old people fall into such childhood? Do you know what it is connected with? Their subtle body is ready to reincarnate. That is, their physical body is already old, and their subtle body is ready for a new children's body. That is, it means that they will soon leave this world and become a child again. They are already compensated. And physiologists cannot understand this, why they have such child behavior in old people. They are the same touchy, the same naive. All, diet. So, especially old men, you need to pay a lot that the old one that is small, the same thing, there is no difference. Difference, and we continue further relates to them like, like an adult, a healthy person. Does not mean that we are all such marasmatics, but they have such desires as in children, they also want attention and care. But old people do not like, because the body is unpleasant. In children, the body is pleasant.

How to treat grandmothers so that they are not harmful?

01:31:15 And old men begin to be harmful. This is the biggest problem. Children are harmful - they say goodbye to them, and the old men do not say goodbye. The most nasty are in harm - these are old people, remember. They do, the grandmother is harmful - that's all. How to get rid of harmful grandmother? Write a rule. More often tell her good words, give her gifts, kiss her in a cheek. If a man is especially needed. She melts and will be your mom immediately. A woman needs to kiss even more in a cheek, wife. If you are often a grandmother kiss, you will be misunderstood. Grandfather must be paid attention, especially if, well, a girl, a woman. Take care of him how to treat your father. In general, the old people need affectionate words. They are tired of life, they want something just a good one, humble, calm. Note that we are very stingy on affectionate words. Noticed? The misfortune is complete, we cannot say a couple of good words. Confirmation, by the way, their. Do not spare good words, say more. You will not touch the grandmother's grandfather. They will love you. In general, everyone speaks good words. Before some remark, make, first glorify. "My grandmother, you are so wonderful, you have so much delicious pies, you cook so tasty. Can I ask you a question? " "You can" "Why do you knock at night with heels?" "And to remember me" "My dear, we are about you and so remember" it is clear why they are harmful? They want attention. It does not give a good way, I will take it bad. That's all.

01:33:11 My grandmother, that is, my mother-in-law, more precisely, she is already a grandmother in age. She is always when she is preparing pies, she always says: "Patties did not work." "Patties did not work." It is necessary: \u200b\u200b"Yes, well, we love your not getting patty. You know when they didn't get you, they get more tastier. "Why is she, why are they saying" didn't happen "? Means: "I tried so hard, appreciate it." In this idea. If, if, if your grandmother made pie, or your mother made patties on the road, you say: "We will do without your pies" - you killed her. Just killed out. Note that mom is achieved, here you have a backpack with things, and another backpack of grandmother cakes and gifts. It can be explained to her that: "Grandma, let's better with our departure, it is better to guests all this. Just it is hard for us, we will not take away. But I promise that with the arrival you will prepare pieces to us, we will only eat your pies "understandable? That is, such an idea, only yours, we love you, we appreciate you. More often you need to call, ask: "How are you doing?", I tell her good words. All and they will not be harmful old women. Harmfulness only from loneliness arises, no longer from anything. So love in Gunah, Tamos - this means everyone to give a child, live, as you want. Rajis means causthing the body, pour things, or love for something. "Why do you love me, mom?" "That's what you have such beautiful eyes. Who has beautiful eyes? By you. That's why I love you "understandable? For something, the idea that you need to love for something. Relationship between husband and wife. "Why do you love me?" "Many money" is understandable? This is rajas.

The manifestation of love in goodness

01:35:11 Sattva - goodness - means to love the soul. Never Father and Mother should not claim that my daughter is some kind of unfinished, ugly. This is the moment, important very much. "My daughter is beautiful. But in it, the character is beautiful "so do not need to say" but ". Clear? "Mom, I am beautiful?" "But you have good eyes." Remember how in this film, "service novel": "Everyone believes that I am strict!" "Dry" "Everyone believes that I am a monster" "Well, not everything." You are a monster, but not everyone thinks. "We love you somewhere there, deeply, very deeply, very deep there, love." Soothed yes? She: "Do not calm me down." "Well, well, nothing, nothing terrible, nothing terrible." "Everyone believes that I am heartless." "Cardiac". "Inhuman". "Human". "Wet" ..., and "dry". "Wet." Men, so sometimes soothe. Or so so calm: "Nothing, take yourself in hand. Take yourself in your hands, everything will be fine with you. Non-Ori, not Noah. Nehow, not Noah. That is, "man you or who? What are you nobody? " Or another moment. Begins to read the morality: "You cry because you have a fold of the planets" the astrologer soothes. "You're crying, because karma fell hard on you. See what needs to be done. You must immediately take yourself in your hands. "Quietly. "Aaaaa" - even more. "So, look. You're already yelling now, because you do not understand the philosophical doctrine about the existence of this universe. "It is not necessary for women, no need.

01:37:21 And here is a woman husband can say that. "You're upset, probably you do not understand that in fact everything is in your hands, you are a strong person, it's just a minute weakness, I believe in you. I believe in you. You are our defense and support, we will help you. You are our captain "such an idea. Thus, you see a man and a woman need to calmly calm down. Boy also need to calm down. "Oh, what tears. Have you ever seen Rambo cry? " He did not see". "Have you ever seen so that for example some kind of chingachguk, hero to do?" He: "No." "Well, so you are a worthy warrior?" "Yes". "Will you not cry?" "Not". Keeps. And the girl needs to say: "You're Chingachguk, Genghachka. You should not cry. " Yes? Girl let cry, it is normal. These are the basic rules. Thus, we studied with you, the review was made easy. These are very deep themes. Please questions. Have questions?

01:38:52 Question - If the child is small, 2 years old, is attached to something, "I want it!" And all? Answer - two years? Up to 5 years, let's all he wants. The question is - and then he and in 6 so? The answer is no, no. This is, too listen. Up to 5 years, do not try to explain and educate him, he does not think anything. In general, zero. The mind is completely closed, you just injure his psyche and that's it. He does not understand what is good, what is bad. After 5 years, it is already starting to restrict quietly. In Ayurveda it is written so. Distract it, let's get some kind of toys, let him somehow, the child shares. Does not understand. You will punish him, he will not understand why he does not give him. Well, so Ayurveda advises.

01:39:39 Question - How do you think the government should solve to return to the family attitude to the family? Answer - Government? To begin with, for a start, the government must be pious. Pious it should be. Piously this means the first - concern of the people around This is the concept of Dharma. And they have one concept now. Take as much as possible. It makes no sense to talk about it, nothing will change. Useless. Even if simply one pious person is president, there will be very big changes in the country. Just one pious person. By the way, Putin is a more or less pious person, I want to tell you. He was engaged in sports, he he had the principles in life certain, he does not smoke, his bad habits have little. That is, it can be seen that he is pious, therefore, the country like that began to move. See? He is hard one. And if all the government is? So that the government is good, you need people who choose, were also pious. Please, why not choose such people? They mean by themselves, that's all. Every people are worthy of their government. Therefore, it makes no sense to dump them, we chose them. The next question is.

01:41:11 Question - Tell me please, but if the grandmother to educate helps two children, who has no mom, well, dad was, well, now it is not. Well, for example, my grandmother has brought up, in a full family. Well, she gave me a lot of knowledge .. Now I raise, in this case my grandchildren. That is, I give them knowledge. Can you help educate? Because the daughter works to keep. The answer is needed to help such a grandmother. Need to. That is, what was the idea? We talked about attachment, that is, when they play your child. Do you understand? And if it raises, it is better even what you even need, such a grandmother give your child. I say you need. We have now studied the position of attachment, and if it gives it to the upbringing, it is very good.

01:42:07 What other questions are there? Well, if there are no questions, then now we will take a break, and after 10 minutes, let's see any documentary.

Attachment to parents is a form of emotional communication, interaction, communicating with parents, primarily with the mother as the closest face. On the initial manifestations of affection can already be said by the middle of the first year of life, when anxiety arises with the temporary absence of the mother (it is clearly expressed in 7 months) and the appearance of foreign (at 8 months).

In the second year of life, anxiety in the presence of outsiders is coming to no, partially expressing embarrassed and shyness. Anxiety, when separated from the mother, remains in girls up to 2.5 years, boys up to 3.5 years. In 3 years, it is also often possible to hear a sacramental question "Where is my mom?" And "I want to mom", despite the increased interest in communicating with the father and peers. Yes, and mother is even better than anyone, can calm down and climb.

Some disturbing and powerful in the nature of the mother involuntarily tie children to themselves to such an extent that they create artificial or painfully pointed dependence on themselves and their mood. These mothers, as a rule, feel the fear of loneliness, giving it to over-child care about the child. Often he is inspired that he will only feel safe in the presence of a mother, and this blocks the growing need to communicate with other adults and peers. Such neurotic attachment creates an infantality raid, disconciliation, insecurity in its forces and opportunities, especially in new communication situations requiring rapid and risk-related decisions.

An excessive strictness of the father, which is not raising, and the trainer, which requires unquestioning subordination, leads to neurotic affection, and causing unquestionable subordination to physically with the slightest disobedience. These fathers relate to children as adults, forgetting about their increased need of tenderness and affection. Almost always in such families there is a conflict about the upbringing. Mother, as opposed to father, seek to fill the lack of emotional warmth, in everything I am inferior to the child and surrounding it with excessive concern. Such extremes of the parental relationship do not pass without a trace. In these cases, children are incredibly tied to the mother, and also differ in capriciousness, instability of mood and increased excitability. Often, such parents agree to give children various soothing medicines, rather than rebuilding their attitude towards each other.

Another extreme of parental relationships to children is to lack emotional care - they are too early to go to Nursery or reassign the care of grandparents, grandfathers or other relatives. What is considered to be an early room of the baby in Nursery?

Observations of experts show that if the age of the child does not exceed 6 months, then adaptation to the nursery passes painlessly, since there is no pronounced affection for the mother. But subsequently, the nursery becomes noticeable in development, since only the family is possible, verbal, physical and emotional contact. Yaseous children often discover emotional inhibition and the complete absence of fears in the future, which, however, is not a positive point and indicates a decrease in emotional sensitivity, as well as responsiveness and empathy.

Starting from 7 months, the definition of the baby in Nursery acts on it as a mentally injured factor, because the child begins to experience the rejection from the mother to which he is tied. The strongest threat to the neuroticity of the child will be when separating it from the mother between the ages of 7 months to 1.5-2 years, when not only anxiety is manifested when the established stereotype of emotional contact with the mother, but also the fear of strangers, unfamiliar adults.

Thus, at least up to 2 years, the violation of emotional contact with the mother is injured by a sense of attachment and is a neurotic factor in the mental development of children. If the attachment is depleted emotionally, if the child is indifferent to the absence of a mother, then this is not a sign of the "fortress" of his nervous system, and the sign (symptom) of emotional unhealthy or lack of emotional sensitivity in general. As a rule, it indicates the wrong attitude of the mother to the child.

After 2 years, the attachment to the mother is no longer so dependent, the concern is reduced when it is missing, which is due to the resulting sense "I", and contacts with adults are not accompanied by the same alertness. All this facilitates the premises of the child in kindergarten. However, if the mother has the opportunity to pay enough attention to children and, most importantly, seeks to this if they do not cause irritation from her and there is no confrontation with them because of the so-called stubbornness, it is advisable for half a year (girls), and even For a year (boys - because of their greater attachment to the mother) postpone visiting the kindergarten. Home education with sufficient communication with peers is still more favorable for the mental development of children. It should not be in a rush to 3 years with a kindergarten with an increased emotional sensitivity and impressionability of kids, their nervous weakness and frequent somatic (cold) diseases.

A serious obstacle to emotional contact and affection between mother and her child is the insufficient emotional responsiveness of the mother. Most often, this is manifested in relation to the second child of the same sex as the first. Emotionally "brave" on the firstborn, the second she pays less attention. As a rule, the mother is already physically exhausted and loaded. Emotionally inhibited due to the neurotic state, not sufficiently sociable and excessively principled in nature, it raises even the firstborn on abstract schemes, without taking into account its real needs and needs. Infinite morals are characterized, moralization, lack of live, direct contact with children, caress and tenderness. This creates a difficult-acting emotional barrier in communicating with a mother, which is also experiencing a sense of love, but does nothing for the development of bilateral emotional relations.

You are not able to be indifferent, sensitive children fill the lack of emotionality and the immediacy of what they often come to an excited state, shout, cry and swear, as if fearing that they would forget about them that they would not be listened, they would not be caught. Nevertheless, such behavior is regarded as whims, hysterics, stubbornness. Instead of changing behavior, parents only "twist the nuts", continuing not to pay attention to the worsening emotional state of children. The attachment of the latter in these cases is painfully pointed, based on the search, often by any paths, attention, tenderness and love. The danger of this situation, if it is long, - in the compensatory development of child pride, when they are unilaterally starting to love themselves in opposition to the feeling of love for others and are not able to share with anyone their joys and sophors.

All that makes it difficult to develop the emotional contact of children with parents, including attachment, applies to such a higher human emotion as love. Her prerequisite is a response sense of a child on the manifestation of the tenderness and love of the mother. And here much depends on what spiritual generosity and responsiveness is possessed by the mother itself, as she is capable of lovelessly love, without connecting it with any principles and conditions, a sense of duty. If at the beginning of the 3rd year of life, with high attachment to the mother, phrases of the type are still possible: "I myself love myself", i.e., love is egocentric, addressed the character, then in 2.5 years it follows the recognition of the mother: " I love you "and at 3 years:" You are a nail of everyone in the world. "

Brightly manifests a conscious need for tenderness and affection: "Make a gentle face, do not be angry, praise me, kiss." The child feels any deviations in the emotional attitude of the mother: "Here are miracles, just you loved me, and now you don't love." Gradually, love for the mother goes to the Father, which is especially noticeable in girls. There is even a proverb: "Daughter in the father will be-enough." He will be happy if the love of his daughter and father is mutual. This feeling will create in the future a more acceptable model of emotional relations with representatives of the other sex, including relationships in marriage. A similar role is played by the love of the Son and Mother, if it is not overshadowed by the friction and threats of her deprivation.

If the child is not satisfied with the feeling of love, the reason you need to seek primarily in my parents. Most often it is a child unwanted, the appearance of which was not waiting (the second of the children) or it was premature in young parents. The lack of love will feel those children whose floor does not match the expected. The boy then loves (and wanted a girl), if justified expectations: quiet and imperceptible in behavior. When he is peculiar and stubborn, it meets the underlined feeling of revenge, irritation and discontent among the parents. In this case, significantly larger and physical punishment. When the girl appears instead of a boy, parental discontent is often caused by the softness of the girl's character, its increased emotional sensitivity, tenderness and vulnerability.

Sometimes the child would be loved, but causes irritation to his loosely on one of the parents, to whom there are hidden, but hostile attitude. Mother may annoy the vorticle, the naughty character of the Son, resembling a non-prompt, from her point of view, the character of the father whom she cannot subordinate. Father with the same success may reject excessive sensitivity and vulnerability of his daughter, because the mother is the same.

As you can see, feelings and installing parents, family relationships and senses of children can be very closely connected. It is not difficult to guess that a child is in the most unfavorable, dramatic situation. In most cases, parents are not so categorically belonging to children in the future, but time for their full-fledged emotional development can already be missed.

The situation is also unfavorable when the child is desirable, but causes disappointment by the fact that it does not justify hopes: it does not develop so quickly, not like that. This creates a conditional nature of love - the child is loved only when it justifies overestimated expectations and requirements, otherwise he is not enough recognition and love and it is necessary to "redo" by anything and as soon as possible, not paying attention to the individual pace of development and peculiarity emerging personality.

Prevents the expression of love for the child and the neurotic state of the mother. Concentration on their feelings, spiritual dorms, internal conflict, inhibition and reduced tone do not give her opportunities to pay enough attention to him, express tenderness and love. In most cases, this is a temporary phenomenon, but there is a danger that the kid will develop the corresponding emotional disorders.

The blockade of the emotional needs of children, including sense of love, can be due to the character's characteristic features of the mother. Such women are excessively principled, they have a hypertrophied sense of duty, duties, responsibility, there are no compromises. These mothers are overly serious and rational, never laugh, except for ironic smiles, do not tolerate children's noise, screaming and laughter. Go once again towards the child, to buy at his request, the toy is considered an unforgivable mistake, and the pool is directly to the offenses in the future.

These mothers are excessively restrained, rarely keep children in their hands, do not caress, do not praise, but many morals read, with no objection to voice. With the failure of children of countless prescriptions and requirements, the internal stress can break through, in which the mother is constantly. Then the flow of charges, insults and threats, often physical penalties collapsed on the kids. But even this is a negative, but immediate and emotionally sincere attitude is perceived by a child sometimes less traumatic than constantly discreet, in something indifferent and inaccessible to the feelings of the child the state of the mother.

All this complicates parental relationships with a child, usually the only one. Without experiencing gentle feelings to him and being disgruntled with the obstacles to personal self-affirmation, such mothers seek to reconstruct the education of nanny, relatives and acquaintances, put children in specialized schools, often internally type. Of course, not these people make the weather in relations with children, but such a situation harms the emotional mental development of the child.

But we return to the normal features of the development of children who, as we have seen, are largely dependent on the "normality" of the relationship of parents, the lack of painful, neurotic states and characteristic deviations.

Against the background of pronounced attachment and love for the mother simultaneously, the process of identifying himself with the parents of the same sex, the boys - with his father, in girls - with the mother, expressed by the phrase "I will be Pope (Mom)". Since parents consist of each other in the role-playing relations of her husband and wife, the understanding of this creates a need from the child to imitate: "You are my wife," I am your husband "- boys to the mother; "When growing, marrying on dad" - in girls. This is a kind of game "in the family" when the boys represent themselves in the role of the father, and the girls - the mother, experiencing an increasingly increasing sense of love for the parent of another sex.

Father for boys in this psychological situation may even be "competitored" in his male in relation to the mother role, which is able to cause an advantageous feeling of jealousy. After all, the boy "like father" wants to be with his beloved mother, sleep next to her, use her attention, tenderness and care. The same can be in girls to imitate the mother, her family role. However, in both situations, the mother is the prevailing object of emotional preferring and love. For boys, it is natural because the mother was before the focus of their emotional attention. In girls, love for mothers should be supplemented with love for his father, and here it is important that the mother does not take this event as a weakening of love for her and neglecting her attention. Complications arise if the parent of the same floor dominates the family in the family and himself with a famous fraction of jealousy refers to the feelings experienced by children to the parent of another sex, especially if he has no warm and respectful relationship with him.

It is not easy and the situation when parents love each other so that they do not notice the love of children. The latter is also experiencing complex, controversial feelings of imitation, love, jealousy and even envy, which does not contribute to their normal well-being, and certain problems are created and in relations with peers of both sexes.

All the considered situations should be understood on time to, on the one hand, do not create unnecessary barriers to the emotional development of children, who work on the parents of communication model with peers, and on the other hand, to solve the corresponding gestures and skills to love and feel happy.

Thus, pre-school age represents a special, unique phase in the emotional development and formation of the structure of family relations.

It also happens that parents often quarrel and experience hostile feelings to each other. To whom then of them, with other things being equal, will be given preference, that is, the child will be on whose side? The boys will rather be a mother, girls - father. Even the division of family relationships at this age and the departure of the father from the family is more emotionally perceived by the girls because of their sense of love for the Father.

Love for parents, unfortunately, is not always accompanied by only positive emotions. Cases are possible when the child is trying to pour their irritation and discontent on them. Most often, the mother is like the most emotionally close, affordable face. He can hit her, pinch, bite, threaten the toy gun. The offense can be screaming, crying and replicas like: "I do not like, you are bad." All these affects quickly pass, not leaving a negative impression or relationship, unless parents themselves are "stuck" on them, love children, kind and responsive in nature.

Of course, to express a certain attitude if parents are trying to "beat". But it is not unnecessarily to take it seriously, to dramatize, all the more to respond to the same or without the end of scolding, it is urgent to prohibit the manifestations of all negative emotions. After all, they are one of the indicators of normal, versatile emotional development, as well as the form of approval "I", his willing sides.
For this age, "aggressive fantasies" are typical when a child represents itself on the site of negative characters or hero, cut off the enemy's head. He can declare his mother: "You offended me, you're bad, I will kill you."

Calm explanations in these cases are the only possible solution, as in the dispute, many of the manifestations of negative emotions will be held by themselves, being positively processed by the developing consciousness of the child. Gradually, he will be better to manage his feelings, will become more patient and tolerant, benevolent, compassionate and lubricant. Beliefs believe in yourself and loved ones. The child will learn to trust them with his feelings and experiences, even misdeed, knowing that he is listened to, will understand, help, but will not punish and do not humiliate.

If the parents are intolerant to the immediacy of the child, the affect and spontaneous expression of negative emotions, punish it for the slightest manifestation, surrounded by phystockol morals and threats - the picture of the child's development will be different. Such blocking of negative emotions will create a state of chronic mental stress, a hidden feeling of irritation, resentment and discontent will arise. Usually a quiet house and polite in humans, the child will try to discharge a sense of tension on peers, showing aggressiveness and unfriendly or making all the empty, staying out of suspicion for adults. Thus, truth lies somewhere in the middle, and you should avoid both repression and permissiveness.

So let's summarize some results. By the end of the preschool age, in 6-7 years, the feelings and experiences of children are complicated, differentiated. With the preservation of emotionality and impressionability there is no previous naivety and gullibility. Self-controlling, self-criticism, binding, feelings of guilt appear ("I understand, I'm just so"), justice, beautiful (sublime) and ugly (dirty, ugly, shameful), a tendency to deep experiences - all that the category of conscience in younger school age.

Children of this age are imprumatically supervised, sensitive to the words and their shades, the attitude of others. They have a developed sense of self-esteem, they do not tolerate an unfair, biased relationship, insults and offensive, ridicule: "I'm so insulting when you shout on me," I'm worried about me, "I'm crying not from pain, but from the resentment." Show witted, irony, humor, understanding of the conventions, the hidden meaning of proverbs, howling the events occurring. The need for recognition, approval, understanding, support and love is still expressed. Moreover, the increasing degree of these feelings begin to contact the peers, forming a complex canvas of group relations, including the enthusiasm of the peer of the other sex, a sense of love for him.

The emotional memory is developed - a number of episodes that occurred a few years ago. The ability to put yourself in place of another person, to a certain extent to represent and feel his feelings and experiences. This fills a deeper content of the feeling of compassion, empathy, which is together with the conscientious measure of human responsiveness and gratitude. The ability to anticipate, predict and feel at the place of other people creating a basis for accepting and playing interpersonal roles.

Communication with peers, to which so strive at this age, becomes more flexible, situational and sustainable. The boys are primarily focused on the Father, and the girls are on the mother who are a reliable source of authority and the corresponding floor behavior. At the same time, there is a constant comparison of the behavior of parents and peers, compliance between them. Special sensitivity Children 6-7 years old detect to conflict relations in the family.

By 6 years ending for modern children, the period of pre-school childhood. Let's hope that one of the main tasks of the parents you have been implemented in addition to the necessary knowledge and skills of humane, human beginning in the emerging personality of the child. This means that children are 6 years old:

1. Naturally (painlessly) there are phases of their development and solve regular age problems;
2. Follow the feelings of attachment, tenderness and love in response to similar feelings of parents;
3. Implement its need for authority and respect, understanding from loved ones and significant people for them;
4. Possess a steady sense of "I", confidence and activity, adequate self-esteem, including the level of claims and opportunities;
5. Capable to empathy;
6. Do not show pronounced feelings of jealousy and envy if there is a leading feeling of goodwill to people;
7. Contacts and sociable, strive for interaction with peers on equal.

All these acquisitions of personality, as we have seen, are the result of our reasonable education and love for children.

Hello, Suzanne! Let's wonder what is happening:

the husband is too tied to his parents, especially to mom.

this is your husband's rating - i.e. You see him like that - however why? After all, now the relationship you build both with your husband - and your contribution to what is happening now between you is yours - only when you see that your part leads to that the husband is removed from you, then only then you can understand - And what can you do in order for this removal does not happen and he approached you back!

and for this you first need to see in him and the husband too, and not only the son of his mom!

we need financial assistance, his parents having the opportunity to do not have it.

and why is the question worth it? Did you have small children to need - this is a real position leads to the fact that you depend on his parents financially - if there is a problem with finance, then think about what you and your husband can do this problem to solve this problem and at the same time be independent and independent People?

yes, and his parents should not support you - this is your life and you need to become your feet yourself, and not ask and wait for help from parents and to be offended by them for not helping to maintain immaturity and infantilism!

The problem is only that indicating not the correct behavior of his parents, we swear very much!

and why indicate the "wrong" behavior of his parents ??? What are you waiting in this southernage - you only put it before choosing - you or parents - and how he can do it! You fight him and he flew away from this struggle, and even if you would like to listen to a person who is opposed against? You are now standing against your husband and fight him - and to remove it and remove conflicts - you need to stop fighting himself, but become just my wife!

and yet - it is necessary to share relations: the relationship between his parents and they belong to them and you have no place in them! Relationship between you and his parents - belong to you and they - and there is no place in them! Relationship between you and husband - belong to you both - and there is no place for parents! So why do you own his parents yourself between you - he will not solve problems in relationship between you and they are your responsibility and only you allow it and build!

only ending with her husband on one side, starting him to hear you, thereby you will finally be together !!!

he defends their interests! Constantly hides something from me, does not agree, in order to avoid conflict. Mom knows more than me.

so what can you do to be between you and my husband there is no quarrels about parents ??? Can stop them to put them between you? Relationships can be corrected!

Suzanne, if you really decide to figure out what is happening - you can safely contact me - Call - I will be glad to help you!

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Question to a psychologist:

Hello! My husband and I had such a situation. We live in the house of parents of her husband 3rd year. Soon we will move in your home. My husband's parents help us very much financially (pay utility payments, buy products, give us money for repayment of credit and building materials for repair, also dad helps us make repairs in the new apartment). My parents live far away and they do not have the same opportunity to help us financially how to help us your husband's parents (my family is not very secured). When the parents of her husband began to help us, I did not care about myself ... I talked to my husband and said that I was certainly grateful to my parents that they help, but I feel awkward from the fact that my parents can not help, but I'm not to blame. I find yourself in a big debt in front of my husband's parents ... They are good people, but it seems to me that way they tie us to themselves and begin to manipulate us, take decisions for us ... I do not feel that we have our own family .. . We are talking to your husband about this, he says that I will move and everything will have everything ... more than once they have already swear and can not understand each other ... He says that they have so accepted in the family, help each other .It's good. And it turns out so that helping us we have to help them. I do not mind and we help. But we very rarely visit my parents who no less need help ... Once I heard my husband's grandmother, that if the parents of the daughter-in-law do not help you, then you don't need to go to them ... I feel very offensive, because my parents are not What is not guilty ... Now I my husband and I have taken a mutual decision that you need to correctly refuse to help your husband's parents, not offended by them ... because by and large, we have enough with my husband, even though we will be difficult, but It seems to me that it will strengthen our family (husband and me). But the husband is still difficult to refuse to help and he begins to rude and swear with his parents and says that they will not understand otherwise if he just says that we will cope. And even if he does not take money, they say that this is a gift, but they do not refuse gifts ... Tell me, please, how to do? Maybe I'm not right?

The psychologist Lebuluk Alina Vladimirovna is responsible for the question.

Elena, hello!

With her husband's parents - swells - everyone has a relationship in different ways. Those neberes who do not help themselves help - they are offended very much on it. And they can say that you are very lucky, and you simply do not appreciate and do not understand how it can be different.

Someone her husband's parents do not give passage with their advice and moraling at every step, as need to live. Someone simply do not like and build a goat and arrange scandals trying to survive and dilute.

If I understood correctly, you are very hardly clinging precisely financial support. There are no other claims. And you swear with your husband basically too because of this. Due to the fact that "I feel embarrassed from the fact that my parents cannot help, but I'm not to blame for this. I turn out in a big debt to my husband's parents. " Your husband and his parents immediately understood the prosperity and possibilities of your parents. Your husband loved and loves you for your qualities and features. And always help those who can help. In your case, the parents of the husband turned out to be more secured. If your parents could help - they would also help.

Lenochka, her husband's parents say that you have something to do with them for their help? They tell you that you are in front of them in a big debt? Why do you feel guilty for the fact that your parents can not help in the same amount? Everyone gives their capabilities. Stop comparing my parents and my husband. You are thereby underestimate your own self-esteem. Weigh yourself weigh debts and feeling of guilt. Parents of the husband first of all help their son. It is unlikely that they do it specifically to humiliate you.

Imagine, make sure that you will have a son. The only child, let's say. He marries and for a while, while they do not prepare an apartment with his wife (make repairs) will live with you. Will you help your son's family to everyone than? For whom will you do this? What will you do this? I think for a son and so that he is happy. And while youth becomes financially on your feet, parents who can afford it help their children. And this is normal. Or you have the opportunity to help - do not help?

"They are good people, but it seems to me that way they are tied to ourselves and begin to manipulate us, take decisions for us," the husband's parents seem to know that they know what you need. And in such situations you and your husband need to defend your borders, desires. For this you need to independently (together with my husband) make decisions and insist on your choice. The fact that parents help financially absolutely does not mean that they have the right to decide how you live. It is important for you to understand. In the meantime, you will feel guilty and in debt, you will agree with them in everything and then arrange my husband's scandals. And what do you think scandals will affect relationships?

The fact that her husband's parents help you are their decision, this is their choice. If you are at the exit from the bus, a man will give your hand - will you feel in a big debt? Or is a neighbor holds the door in the entrance or will the place in transport? I think no. Because you did not ask for it. Now, if they were asked, it would be a slight sense of debt to do something good in response. Right? If parents have the opportunity and the desire to do something for your family - let them do it. Take assistance with gratitude, not with a sense of debt.

Also, do you know how to make help? Do you allow yourself to ask for help? Does your family get to help each other and support? We often react very much in life in life on what we do not understand and do not know how to do. "More than once they swear and could not understand each other ... He says that they have so accepted in the family, help each other" - indeed, in many families so accepted. This is not a way to bind to yourself and is not always an attempt to manipulate. This is a manifestation of love and care. The child remains a child for his parents always. And at different ages, different ways of manifestation of love. Think about it.

I would advise you to read the book "Take or give" Adam Grant. There's good, simple and accessible timeline about what is given and why it is important to be able to accept help. And this is really very important.

"Once I heard a husband from my grandmother that if the parents of the daughter-in-law do not help you, then you don't need to go to them ... I am very angry, because my parents are not guilty of anything" - Yes, parents are not to blame. And if you want to ride them - take a solution with my husband, plan and go to your parents. So often, as you can allow yourself to afford. You and my husband is a family. An independent family, separately from whose parents. It is important to understand this and feel.

In the family it is important to be able to talk to each other, hear and listen to a friend of Ruga, negotiate. Speaking with her husband because of his parents, then you can also make a feeling of guilt that his parents are. Just accept them as they are. After all, in fact, admit yourself - it would be much worse without their help at this stage. With loans, repairs and everything else. Having been offended by her husband's parents, at the subconscious level you can express your resentment on your parents. This is just an assumption, but think about it too. If there is such a moment - you need to work on the adoption of your parents and forgiveness. Because the topic with our parents greatly affects almost everything in our life. If you do not cope yourself - consult a psychologist. You are much faster and easier together in this matter.

Lenochka wait for you when you move to your apartment and start to live yourself. It is important to preserve the heat of relationships with her husband. So that parental care does not give you away from each other.

Lenochka, believe in my family and everything will be fine with you)

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