How to help your daughter be happier in her marriage. Secrets of strengthening family ties and rules for maintaining a happy marriage

Every family wants to be happy, so that their relationship will be sincere, tender and trusting for many years, the wife wants her husband to be affectionate, attentive, kind and make surprises as in the first romantic days of their relationship. The husband wants his wife to trust him, admire his talents, support him in all his affairs, well, of course, be a good housewife.

How to achieve harmony in family relationships, how to be happy in marriage?

Psychologists believe that for a happy life together, it is necessary to observe only seven rules.

Rule 1: husband and wife look in the same direction

Happy families go through life with the same rhythm, as if performing a tango. Three conditions help them become one. First, the community of interests, feelings, ideas and memories. Secondly, the ability to compromise. Third, mutual support in all areas of life.

Say out loud more often: "We are one family", "We are together", "We are a team!" Base your marriage on the words of the talented psychologist Leo Buscaglia: “I have four arms, four legs, two beautiful bodies and two heads. I also have a doubled ability to rejoice, love and admire. "

Rule 2: trust each other in everything

Happy couples appreciate the opportunity to freely and calmly discuss any issue with their partner without fear of damaging the relationship. Their relationship is primarily based on trust. And they admit that they came to this thanks to their skills:. talk. listen. understand. observe. remember. Each of these skills is extremely important in order to eliminate taboos in communication.

How to put it into practice

Do an experiment. After listening to your spouse, pause and then ask: "Do you really think that ...?" If your interpretation does not coincide with the meaning that he put into his words, a couple of phrases will give him the opportunity to explain what he said to you again. And if your partner tells you one thing, and in his eyes you read something completely different, answer like this: “You say this, but I can see from my eyes that something is not right. Or I'm wrong?"

Rule 3: respect for each other

At first, spouses try their best to be polite and caring. But over time, they are much more likely to show respect for friends and acquaintances than for each other. The man opens the door to admit a complete stranger, but forgets to do the same for his wife. The woman politely thanks the waiter for giving her the fork, and at home she "orders" her husband: "You are standing next to me anyway, give me a hand." Where has the word "please" suddenly disappeared?

How to put it into practice

Write down any special qualities, talents, and skills that your spouse is endowed with. Dedicate a few of your days to closely observe that special person with whom you were once married. Find in him the unique abilities and qualities that make him irreplaceable for you and others.

Rule 4: a healthy lifestyle is the strength of your family

Happy couples know that their minds and moods can be managed through healthy food, exercise, and being considerate of their appearance. What you eat affects how you feel. And how you feel affects how you interact with the outside world. Reconsider your diet in favor of healthy foods!

Review your home wardrobe too. Is it really necessary to watch TV in this old sweater? After all, if friends came to you, you would be more attentive to what to wear. Right? You will be surprised how much new you will feel when you try to apply this new rule in your life together.

How to put it into practice

For three weeks, write down everything you and your spouse ate, at what time, under what circumstances, and how you felt afterwards. By the way, keeping a food diary together can help you understand how food affects your relationship.

Rule 5: the foundation of the family is the total budget

Financial difficulties often lead to conflicts, which, in turn, destroy relationships. All money earned in lucky couples is always considered "shared". It is very sad when spouses start using separate accounts, each spending their own. This approach indicates a lack of trust in the family, the spouses almost openly declare to each other: "I don't believe you."

Here are some important rules to help build financial trust in a family:

Always openly discuss your financial situation;

Open a general bank account;

Pay bills together. It is not necessary to stand nearby, but it is necessary to inform the partner about purchases;

Never make any major purchases without discussing them with your spouse;

Agree on how much and on what each person can spend on a daily basis.

How to put it into practice

Check with the accountant of the company you work for or just some experienced friends. Most financial problems are solvable! The main thing is not to rely on chance.

Rule 6: caress and gentle touch

Touch is the Morse code of love. Researchers note that when spouses say something special about their other half, they often touch each other. For them, touch becomes something of an exclamation mark.

How to put it into practice

If you find yourself next to your spouse - touch him. Hug gently, run your hand over your back. And be sure to tell him how you like it and how pleasant the return touch will be.

Rule 7: properly organize and diversify your leisure time

Diversity is the key to a happy and long marriage! Yes, that's right, stability is also the key to a successful union, but some couples are so desperate to be predictable that their relationship becomes a model of ... marital boredom. Flowers for no reason, new hobbies, romantic messages and sudden changes of plans are what will help you.

How to put it into practice

Get creative with your food and come up with fun ways to present new dishes. Why not pack a picnic basket in the middle of winter and go to dinner with it ... right into your bedroom?

Of course, this is just a part of the components of a happy family life. Surely each of you has your own secrets. Share your secrets of a happy married life with our readers by leaving your comment. We will be grateful to you.

For some people, the realization of happiness comes like an accidental discovery. Usually a person is happy when he is in love. But in matters of the heart, nothing happens just like that. For example, in order to experience family happiness, you have to work on it. Many people want to know the secrets of a happy marriage. At the same time, many believe that happiness in the family is either given or not given. Both are partly right. But in most cases, the saying "Our happiness is in our hands" is fully justified.

The basics of strong family ties

A happy marriage doesn't come out of nowhere. Even in cases when people fall in love at first sight, in the family they will have to show maximum tolerance in order to make the happiness of lovers family happiness. When Mendelssohn's march loses, the bride and groom will say “we agree,” and the couple will merge in a magic kiss, people think that they are already happy. But sad statistics show that approximately 43% of marriages end in divorce. It is impossible to create a prosperous family with passionate desires, high feelings and tender words alone.

to the table of contents

In order not to experience the bitterness of the collapse of fabulous dreams, in order to achieve the bright goal of a successful marriage, you need to work hard and painstakingly improving family relationships.

1. Communicate more sincerely with each other. Openness in relationships is very important, especially at a time when family affairs are not going well. After all, there are many things that can directly or indirectly affect family relationships - friends, hobbies, work, education, religion, relatives. If you cannot spend time together, or if you have disagreements over finances, it is very important to speak directly about the reason for your discussion and possible ways to eliminate this reason.
2. Another secret to a happy marriage is creating your own family rituals and traditions. Almost all couples who describe their marriage as happy talk about family rituals. It doesn't matter what it is: a candle on the table lit at a festive family dinner, going to a cafe once a month, traveling with the whole family or dating in places of interest in your city. Or maybe a special touch that means "I love you." Sometime in the future, these rituals will be the best part of the memories of yours and yours.
3. Learn to listen. After all, oddly enough, people are more polite with strangers than with their loved ones. Is your spouse trying to talk to you? Don't interrupt. Listen politely and tactfully, no matter how busy you are. Listen as politely as you would listen to your boss. After all, decency and patience are integral parts of a happy marriage.
4. Spending time alone with your loved one can help you renew the feelings that made you love each other. It doesn't matter where you will be spending your time - in a fancy restaurant or in a movie theater at inexpensive kissing spots. Time devoted to each other is an essential component of a happy marriage. Remember this!
5. Solve the money issue! It's amazing how many marriages fall apart over money. Or because of their absence - it doesn't matter. It is important that many couples simply do not discuss serious money issues, living for today and not thinking about tomorrow. Discuss each of you’s preferences for money. Agree on how you will pay large sums, who will manage the family budget and keep the family bookkeeping. What? Do you think that accounting is necessary only for reporting to the authorities? Nothing like this. All people who have achieved a lot in life analyze their income and expenses. Remember that the issue of money can cause a lot of big and small disagreements between husband and wife. And I don't want your happy marriage to fail over money.
6. Respect each other. There are some simple rules for those looking to make their marriage happy. First, never go to family bed in a bad mood. Say thank you and please. Kiss every day and say "I love you." Congratulate each other as often as possible (it doesn't matter with what, even Happy Energy Day - you are energetic, or Happy Builder's Day - you both are building a happy family).
7. Do not break your agreement. And the agreement of all spouses who are in a happy marriage sounds like this: "Family is above all." Do not sacrifice the interests of your family for the sake of your career, entertainment, hobbies.
8. Maintain a relationship with your spouse's family. Both of you owe a lot to your parents. Not according to the law of the country (already at the age of 18 a person is independent by law and has the right to completely separate from his family), but according to the law of conscience. “Honor your father and your mother,” the Bible says. But in the same book it is written that when a person starts a family, his devotion belongs primarily to his spouse: "A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife." Maintaining relationships with parents does not mean running to them for advice in a relatively simple everyday situation, and even more so, complaining about your spouse. The correct attitude towards relatives is to visit them from time to time, choosing activities that are interesting for everyone. And spend as much time with her husband's parents as with his wife's relatives. It is imperative for a married couple who wants to be happy to take into account the feelings and needs of the parents. But at the same time, the family must remain independent.
9. When relatives visit you, try to be polite to them. Make your parents' visit enjoyable and make them feel at home. Even if you have grown up, you are still children for your parents. And adult children need to remember that parents will not always be with them. Therefore, one should enjoy their company while there is such a possibility.
10. The area of ​​personal discrepancy should be minimized. Cliff Albirton, a researcher of family relations, understands the defiant behavior of spouses and a difference in personal habits, a difference in attitudes and temperament under the area of ​​personal differences. Violation of the norms and rules accepted in society is defiant behavior. It can annoy your spouse so much that you will have to forget about a happy marriage. Personal habits (the banal throwing of socks around the apartment or the table not wiped off after dinner) can also become a strong irritant. Psychologists say that 28% of marriages break up precisely because of personal disagreements. One spouse is pedantic, the other is sloppy. One loves hard rock, the other - classical music. What to do in this case? For this, there is the so-called "candy-bouquet period". It is necessary so that people get to know each other better and make the decision to marry consciously.
11. Do not try to change anything in your spouse, the only person in the marriage that you can improve endlessly is yourself. Lifestyle refers to the totality of all human habits. Where does he go? How do you feel about smoking and alcohol? Do you use drugs? What are your hobbies? The more in common you have, the easier you will adjust to each other, the more likely your marriage is to be happy. The value system of each of you is also very important. If he appreciates the same qualities in people that you do, your marriage has every chance of being happy.

Indeed, many books have been written about the need to become an ideal for your husband in order to be happy in a family. To be his personal chef in the kitchen, to cope with

cleaning the house, becoming a good mother for his children, making all his sexual fantasies a reality every day, and at the same time remaining a gentle, loyal and flexible wife.

"Isn't that too much?" - you ask. “Perhaps,” I will answer. After all, once I also asked myself this question. And believe me, to my great joy it turned out that it is not difficult at all. After all, we are talking about how to change in the eyes of her husband, and not really. Do you understand what I mean?

So, let's start preparing a magic cocktail. Ingredients: 200 ml of affection, the same amount of tenderness, 0.5 liters of female cunning, 100 ml of intelligence, 0.7 grams of charm and 1 kg of wisdom (if some ingredients are missing, then wisdom will cover all the missing ones). Ready! We present a cocktail to our faithful, and you are guaranteed happiness in marriage with a long-term guarantee for one century.

And now in more detail. If one day you got out of bed in the morning, ran into the kitchen to fry your precious eggs, and quite by accident your yolk mixed with protein, after which you received a severe reprimand from your husband, and spent the rest of such a "happy" morning in the bathroom, crying bitter tears; if you are really tired of all this, then at the same unfortunate moment, you should understand that everything needs to be changed urgently, from the same second, and once and for all.

You need to change not only yourself, of course, but also your husband, children, if any, skills and even pets, and most importantly, your views, your own views on life, family, work, on children and on everyday life, are so vindictive and insidious.

The first thing to do on the path to excellence is learning how to deal with your emotions. Believe me, even the most loving and calmest husband will not tolerate a woman constantly crying and screaming like a monster. Try to be less irritated, do not waste your nerves and your vital energy. Just learn to ignore the little things.

Of course, our life consists of little things, but believe me, the happiest person is the one who considers at least some things to be completely unimportant. But really, there are things more important than a failed scrambled eggs, such as your health, the health of your husband and children.

For example, I have always loved cleanliness and order, but with the appearance of the baby, irritation and constant fatigue just attacked me. And then I realized that a kind, cheerful and gentle spouse is important for a man at all on a polished floor.

The second, the golden rule, treats with love and attention to oneself, beloved, the only one and so special, who, among the daily routine, does not have enough time for herself. And it must be present - at least one hour a day solely for their own needs.

As you know, every person, from birth, has creative energy, and you just need to direct it in the right direction. And it should be directed daily, otherwise your strength will run out behind the little things and confusion of disorganization, and vital energy will disappear altogether.

And any skills in this life are not superfluous. Remember what you always wanted to do: sewing, knitting, cooking, mastering the art of manicure, or maybe you've always dreamed of writing a book? Go for it, just don't give up. And do not waste time - start right away, without delay.

The third, no less important rule concerns your appearance. How often do you pay due attention to your appearance? And, after all, we all know well that skin, hair and teeth need daily care. In order to remain the one and only for your man, you need to work on yourself. And even if sometimes there is not enough money for salons, use folk remedies - they will preserve your beauty in no way worse. But nevertheless, in the routine of everyday problems, nevertheless, find an opportunity to allocate for yourself, your beloved, at least a small monthly amount and find time to go to the hairdresser, get a manicure and pedicure ...

Believe me, this is a very profitable investment. We need grooming for self-confidence and self-realization. And husbands do not leave those women who spend money on themselves, but from those who neglect their appearance.

And, fourthly, I would like to say about the attitude, even about the love of oneself. You must learn to love and respect yourself, no matter what. After all, as long as we love ourselves, those around us also love us. But those around you also need to be loved and preferably as they are.

Improve yourself, reincarnate, be feminine and charming. Become an ideal for your husband: seduce him, praise, tease - whatever, just do not be indifferent to his affairs, interests, to his health and everything that worries him.

Learn to be happy, because we are all waiting for happiness, not realizing that it is near, and you just need to learn to appreciate and cherish it.

I wish you warmth, luck and patience!

All people want their married life to flow peacefully and calmly and never end. However, according to statistics, in fifty percent of cases, these desires are not destined to come true. Observations show that half of all marriages break up. And in these cases, men and women ask the question: “Why were there fewer divorces in the days of our grandparents? Maybe they knew some secrets of family well-being? " And there really were such secrets, and modern psychologists have counted exactly six of them.

Secret # 1. Communicate

It sounds pretty trite, but it's true. Share your feelings and experiences. Tell each other about your problems. Your partner will be more than happy to hear from you, rather than endure your irritation or tense silence. Today you will share with him, and tomorrow, when something happens to him, he will know that he can confide in you.

Secret # 2. Don't give up.

It’s hard for everyone when a family faces obstacles to happiness. Of course, you can not think about problems and hope that everything will be resolved by itself, but this is the wrong position. In fact, all difficulties, if overcome, will only unite the union. And the problem, if you thoroughly understand it, may not seem so terrible and insurmountable when there is a friend and ally next to you who is ready to support you at any moment. Fight for your family!

Secret # 3. Learn to Solve Problems

When something ceases to suit you, do not be silent, tell your partner about it. Try to find a compromise together. Many people incorrectly believe that a dispute can not lead to anything good. This is not true. Arguing is a natural part of family relationships. They swear in every family. If the spouses do not argue, then they have become indifferent to each other. The main thing is that the dispute does not turn into a scandal.

Secret # 4. Keep the passion alive

What is the difference between newlyweds and couples who have been married for several years? Passion. The former have it, while the latter have failed to save it. Why, you ask. There is no definite answer to this question. Most likely, the passion itself was lost for no reason. Try not to let the passion fall asleep for many years, support it in all possible and impossible ways and you will see a change.

Secret # 5. Have Your Privacy

When a guy and a girl begin to live together, the word "I" ceases to exist for them, and the word "We" appears. Quite often, spouses abandon their hobbies, begin to communicate less with friends. People think they are doing the right thing. In fact, this only makes their life boring, monotonous. You cannot allow yourself to be obsessed with only your partner. Keep seeing your friends and girlfriends. Resume your favorite activities that were interesting to you before the wedding. If you visited any sections before marriage, then do not stop visiting them after the registration of the relationship. Your partner will only be glad to see that you are not dependent only on him, and that you have your own interests.

Secret # 6. Respect each other.

First, I ask you to answer the question. Has it ever happened that you said something to your partner in a tone that you would never allow yourself to speak to someone else, such as your mom or a friend? If you answered: “Yes!”, It means that you have already lost some of your respect for your spouse. Never allow yourself to insult or humiliate him. Over time, people forget, get used to each other, but this does not allow them to act so ugly. Therefore, before you say something offensive to your loved one, ask yourself if you could say this in the presence of someone else. If your answer is NO, then it is best to remain silent.

Relationships are hard. Saving a marriage is even harder. This article is about how a man who was once married and is now divorced, at the cost of his marriage, learned to behave in a new way in a relationship. And although his marriage will not save anything, he was able to learn from it and learned how to make sure that his next marriage will be successful. What's good about life if it can't teach you anything? We've prepared 10 rules for you to avoid in marriage. Perhaps some advice will help keep your relationship alive.

Think about more than yourself

Choose your words carefully. Harsh language is ruining your marriage.

Moving away from your spouse and hiding your feelings can lead to misunderstandings between you. Be more open.

When talking about your spouse's parents or family members, be careful and restrained in your language. Even if they are really not very nice people.

Why do you need a spouse if you spend all the time buried in your phone? Put it aside, please, and take time for your beloved.

Don't move away from each other

Find ways to put off work and other activities and have a quiet evening with just the two of you. If you don’t spend time this way sometimes, sooner or later you will drift apart.

Do you always have to be right? Constant disagreement with others' opinions and arguments will lead to the fact that your spouse will be unhappy.

Don't get into the habit of sleeping in different rooms or different beds.

Frequent criticism causes dissatisfaction with each other. And resentment is not the best ally of a marriage relationship.

Do not forget to speak and prove by actions that you love your spouse, otherwise he will feel unhappy and unnecessary.

Accept your spouse for who they are. Whether it's loud, quirky, quiet, or weird, don't try to change who they are and who you love.