Fitness and healthy lifestyle 

Science opinion: when to move on to intimacy in a relationship. Orthodoxy and intimate relationships - about sex life in an Orthodox family

Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman was originally intended to fill the earth with people. This was and is the command of God. The intimate relationship between husband and wife is love that God has blessed. The secret of intercourse occurs only between two partners in privacy. This is an intimate action that does not require prying eyes.

Intimate theology

Orthodoxy welcomes sex life between married couples as an act of God's blessing. An intimate relationship in an Orthodox family is a God-blessed action that involves not only having children, but also strengthening love, intimacy and trust between spouses.

About the family in Orthodoxy:

God created man and woman in His own image, He created a beautiful creation - man. The Almighty Creator Himself has provided for an intimate relationship between a man and a woman. Everything in God's creation was perfect, God created a naked, beautiful man. So why is humanity so hypocritical about the nude at the present time?

Adam and eve

The Hermitage exhibits magnificent sculptures that demonstrate the beauty of the human body.

The Creator left to people (Gen. 1:28) His instruction:

  • multiply;
  • multiply;
  • fill the earth.
For reference! There was no shame in paradise, this feeling appeared in the first people after committing a sin.

Orthodoxy and intimate relationships

As you delve deeper into the New Testament, you can see with what indignation and contempt Jesus treated the hypocrites. Why is sex life in Orthodoxy relegated to the second and third plan?

Before the coming of Jesus Christ, polygamy existed on earth, but these were not casual relationships. King David, a man after God's heart (1 Sam. 13:14), sinned with another man's wife, then married her after the death of her husband, but the chosen one of God had to be punished. The child, born of the beautiful Bathsheba, died.

Having many wives, concubines, kings and ordinary people could not even think that another man could touch their woman. When entering into a love affair with a woman, a man was obliged to tie himself by family ties according to the laws of the church. Marriage was then blessed by priests and sanctified by God. Children born of legal marriage became heirs.

Important! The Orthodox Church stands for the beauty of true close family ties.

Intimacy or sex

There is no concept of sex in the Bible, but Holy Scripture pays much attention to the intimate life of believers. The bond between a man and a woman from time immemorial has been an object of desire and an open door for temptation.

Sex at all times is associated with depravity, which has been known from the beginning of the centuries. For lecherous acts, homosexuality and perversion, God burned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah with fire, not finding the righteous in them. Oral and anal intercourse is associated with the concept of sex, which Orthodoxy refers to as perversions according to the Bible.

To save believers from the sin of fornication, God in the 18th chapter of the book of Leviticus from the Old Testament outlined the points with whom you can have sexual intercourse.

Imagine that the Great Creator Himself pays great attention to intimate, sexual relations, blessing the intimate life in marriage.

Wedding of spouses

Sex before marriage

Why does the Orthodox Church warn young people to refrain from intimate relationships before marriage and to remain celibate?

In the Old Testament, there are several instances where fornicators were stoned for adultery. What is the reason for such cruelty?

The film "The Ten Commandments" depicts a gruesome scene of the killing of sinners with stones. The adulterers were tied by the hands and feet to stakes so that they could not hide, defend themselves, and the whole people threw sharp, huge stones at them.

This action had two meanings:

  • the first is for intimidation and edification;
  • second, children born from such a bond carried a curse to the clan, deprived it of God's protection.

A family that is not crowned by God cannot be under His protection.

Unrepentant sinners excommunicate themselves from the Mystery of Confession and Communion, living of their own free will under the attacks of the devil.

How to combine chastity and sex

The Christian family is a small church based on love . Purity and chastity are the main canons of Orthodox relations, most of all are revealed in the sexual intercourse of married spouses.

The Church in no way excludes sexual relations between partners, for this is an act created by the Creator Himself to fill the earth with His children. Church laws clearly regulate the life of Orthodox believers, including spiritual, mental and physical life.

To immerse themselves in God's grace, all Orthodox Christians must grow spiritually:

  • read the Word of God;
  • pray;
  • stay in fasting;
  • attend temple services;
  • participate in the sacraments of the church.

Even monks living in sketes are not devoid of emotional experiences, but what about ordinary Christians in a sinful world?

Every day every person needs food, companionship, love, acceptance and sex life as a natural part of human existence. The Orthodox Church, according to the Word of God, blesses the sex life of a married couple, limiting it for a certain time, this also applies to food, fasting, amusement and various types of work.

Prayers for the family:

Relationship between husband and wife

In First Epistle to the Corinthians, in chapter 7, the Apostle Paul literally, according to his words, described the behavior of marriage partners during seclusion: refused and directed to sin, and the one who could not resist and fell into fornication. "

Attention! Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the only reason for marital intimacy can only be the birth of a child. When touching an intimate question, it is not said at all about children, but only about love, pleasure and close relationships that strengthen the family.

Church opinion

Not all families are blessed with having a baby, so shouldn't they be making love anymore? God classified gluttony as a sin, and promiscuous sex, excessive passion for sex life is not approved by the church.

  1. Everything should happen in love, by mutual agreement, in purity and respect.
  2. A wife cannot manipulate her husband by refusing intimate caresses, because her body belongs to him.
  3. A husband is obliged to win over his wife, like Jesus Church, to take care of her, respect and love.
  4. It is not permissible to make love during prayer and fasting; it is not for nothing that they say that during fasting, the bed is empty. If Christians find the strength to perform the feat of fasting, then God also strengthens in limiting the time of close marital relationships.
  5. The Bible repeatedly emphasizes that touching, and therefore having sex with a woman during the menstrual period, is a sin.

Children born of the pure, chaste love of two married partners are initially covered by God's grace and love.

The Orthodox Church views the intimate relationships of the Christian family as the crown of love, which is multifaceted in God's presentation.

Archpriest Vladimir Golovin: on the intimate relationship of a husband and wife

If the first love of our parents was most often platonic, then today's generation prefers to approach business in an adult way. And the reason is not only in the times and morals, but rather in the availability of information about sexual relations, which was previously taboo.

The question of at what age you can have sex interests today's youth more from a legal and medical point of view: will the boys be jailed, think the guys, and will there be health problems, the girls think. Well, let's help them understand this issue. Moreover, today for such information they do not go to friends, and certainly not to their parents, but to the World Wide Web.

Medical aspects

Physiological puberty occurs much earlier than emotional and psychological. It is known that the first emission (involuntary ejaculation during sleep) in fry occurs from 11–12 years of age. Their sperm is already quite capable of producing offspring. But, as a rule, they still have no thoughts about girls.

From the age of 13-14, secondary sexual characteristics appear: hair growth on the face, armpits, and scrotum. Guys' voice breaks down, they gain muscle mass and grow intensively. These phenomena are associated with the production of the male sex hormone - testosterone. Boys are cocky, they begin to pay attention to girls, their beauty.

Judging by the statistics, most guys by the age of 15-16 already have their first sexual experience. But unlike girls, sex for them is a reason for pride, they do not always need to grow up to it emotionally, and they certainly don’t ask themselves the question, at what age can they have sex? The sooner the better. However, this is not a reason to lose your head, because there is also legal responsibility, but more on that below.

A girl's puberty begins with the onset of menarche (first menstruation). They usually begin between the ages of 9-15. Not all of them can immediately have offspring. The cycle settles for some time and can take place without ovulation. In order for the girl's body to become ready for sexual intercourse, which means, theoretically, for pregnancy and childbirth, one menstrual cycle is not enough. Under the influence of hormones, the girl's body changes: the hips become wider, the mammary glands enlarge.

Despite the fact that guys and girls physiologically mature for sex much earlier, they are psychologically ready for this no earlier than 17-18 years old. That is why in the CIS countries the marriageable age is 18 years.

Who can be imprisoned and for what?

At what age is it legal to have sex? The fact is that there is such a thing as "the age of sexual consent." This is the age when a person has the right to independently decide whether to enter into an intimate relationship. In Russia, it begins at the age of 16.

In this case, the connection must be voluntary. If a guy, even if he himself is not yet 18 years old, decides to sleep with a 15-year-old girl, then he can be accused under Articles 134 and 135 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation for sexual intercourse and lecherous actions with a person who has obviously not reached the age of majority. Even if the girl herself offered sex.

By the way, similar accusations await adult girls who try to have sex with a boy under 16 years old.

Another news: not only sexual intercourse is considered debauchery, but also petting, as well as the demonstration of intimate parts of the body.

However, if a lover or mistress does not even realize that in front of them is a person who has not reached the age of sexual consent, then he will be declared innocent. Of course, if he is not a teenager under 14 years old. In this case, the actions will be classified as “sexual assault”.

Therefore, it is good if the question of how old you can have sex will be asked not only by adolescents themselves, but it will also be voiced in educational work in educational institutions (schools and colleges).

And what about other countries?

Not only in Russia are people thinking about the age at which one can have sex. But everyone has a different answer and a different definition of the concept of the age of sexual consent. It's no secret that girls in some eastern countries are married off as children.

So in Yemen, it is customary to marry at the age of 9, in Angola, the Philippines, Mexico, Argentina, Japan and South Korea, it is allowed to have sex from the age of 12-13. The most conservative on this issue are Vietnam, Haiti, Malta, Nepal, Nigeria, Egypt, Iraq, Turkey and Pakistan, where sexual intercourse is possible from the age of 18 and Tunisia, where it is prohibited to do so until the age of 20.

Now we will talk about whether it is possible to have sex at the age of 14. This is a rather sensitive topic.

Every person's sex life consists of three important aspects - emotional, physical and biological. Emotional attraction is passion, tenderness, lust, love. Biological - a way of procreation. The physical is the need for the convergence of bodies. The ideal option is to combine all three aspects. What is the origin story of sex?

History

Many scientists over the centuries have put forward their theories on this issue. One of the theories says that during the early Paleolithic period, during matriarchy, males ate what the females would bring them. That is, they did not take any part in the production of food. Their main and only task was to protect the herd. No dwellings were built, since the warm climate made it possible to exist in the open air and sleep on a pile of dry branches. There was always enough food for these future people, but mostly vegetarianism flourished.

Then it got colder on the planet, herds began to settle down in caves, they learned how to make fire. The men began to hunt, and the women sat all day in caves, waiting for food. Patriarchy replaced matriarchy. In those days, drawings appeared in rock art, where a man runs after prey or where a herd of primates surrounds a mammoth. Copulation, on the other hand, took place on an intuitive level. Scientists have been studying the sex life of common monkeys for many years. Observations have shown that they are far from indiscriminate in sexual partners. First, each female copulates with the leader of the pack, and only then, after 3 days, she can do it with someone else, so that the offspring will probably be from the leader.

There is a period in anthropology when, in primitive times, the development of mankind stopped abruptly. At this time, there were few males, and the plot changed on the rock paintings. After a series of excavations, archaeologists and scientists have suggested that the herd began to engage in group intercourse. The males began to go after their prey with reluctance. The main thing for them was to indulge in group sexual pleasures faster and as often as possible.

Everything has changed over the millennia. But one thing has not changed - sexual intercourse remained one of the main human needs.

Talking about sex

An adult has long had an idea of ​​what sex means in his life. But there comes a time when you need to explain this to your child. And do it right. The beginning of the child depends on what exactly and how you say. Regardless of whether your child asks you about sex or not, parents still need to start this conversation.

Already from the age of seven, children, like sponges, begin to absorb all information from the outside, memorize, scroll several times in their head. Also, children begin to form opinions about something based on the points of view of their friends or classmates. This opinion is often wrong. Therefore, a parent with an explanation of such a delicate issue should get ahead of the child's peers. It is important to start by examining your body, and then convey to the child that intercourse is only part of a man and a woman.

Even 20-30 years ago, girls really cherished their honor from their youth. The upbringing was so strict that the kiss for the couple was a secret event. And most couples entered into sexual relations only after the wedding.

Is it possible to have sex at the age of 14?

Girls get in with guys quite early these days. If earlier it was 16-18 years, now it is on average 14 years. Can a girl have sex at the age of 14? Let's try to find the answer.

14 years is a time that is mostly always accompanied by sexual desires for boys and girls. This is due to the release of hormones in the body that are responsible for sex drive.

Is it possible to have sex at the age of 14? I would like to note that this is the age of minority. Do not forget that this act is punishable by law. Although this stops few people. So can you have sex at 14? Children at this age are more inclined to trust the opinion of friends who promote early sex only from the best side, but in fact adolescents are engaged in it only because everyone says: "this is great." It is unlikely that both get real pleasure.

Other reasons

Can a guy have sex at the age of 14? Better not. For boys, there is a great alternative - masturbation.

But is it still possible to have sex at the age of 14? It is advisable to give up sex during this period. Adolescents at this age are rarely protected, but the number of children who are treated by venereologists is growing noticeably. They inflict tremendous harm on their body - first having sex, then venereal disease, and then - its treatment. And all this falls on the still unformed growing organism. At the same time, the girl may not receive pleasure, but it is easy to get pregnant. Again, it’s stressful whether she’s having an abortion or giving birth.

The opinion of psychologists

According to psychologists and doctors, most adolescents from the age of 14 begin sex life for fear of appearing not old enough in front of their friends, which means they will no longer be respected. Early sex often results in severe depression.

Parents should pay maximum attention to their child at any age. And in the transitional period (13-17 years old) you must become a real friend for the child. A parent should not miss a single bad mood, incomprehensible behavior of his child. You can miss something, and this will be fraught with irreversible consequences.
Of course, most adolescents have their first love, but not all of them turn into a long and strong relationship.

It is important for a parent to be especially attentive with the child during the period of dating - to talk more with him, you can ask about how the meeting went, what interesting things you saw on a walk or on a trip, etc. that early sex is not good. Talk about the consequences of such a relationship, as discussed above.

Of course, there are situations when, even with very friendly relations with the parents, the child is embarrassed to ask about sex. Therefore, it is important to conduct conversations on intimate topics ourselves. It is desirable that dad talk to the boy, and mom to talk to the girl. Then the child will be more relaxed in conversation. It is important to talk about sex as a consequence of love. That there should be no intimacy without love. Sex should not be allowed to devalue the child's attitude towards life and, as a result, devalue itself!

Conclusion

In this article, we answered the exciting question of whether it is possible to have sex at the age of 14. Psychological counseling can help when a parent is faced with a problem that he cannot solve on his own. at any age - a difficult topic, and at such an early age - especially.

For a woman, sex is the final station on the path, during which companions acquire spiritual kinship and heartfelt affection. In sex, a woman is primarily attracted by emotional closeness, and a man is attracted by physical pleasure, akin to what he gets from delicious food or gourmet drinks.

If you start sex too early or delay it for too long, you may miss out on your chance to get married. Both extremes in sexual strategy are equally likely to lead to failure. Don't forget: everything has its time.

Let's try to understand how sex contributes to marriage.

One of the main guidelines is that sexual relations should begin when both sexual curiosity and intense sympathy are present. Let your man develop sexual curiosity about you. Before engaging in an intimate relationship, you must build a relationship - they will be a guarantee that he will not leave you, satisfying his sexual curiosity. After all, having achieved his goal, a man, as a rule, loses most of his interest in a woman, and fragile feelings can disappear. Sex itself cannot be the main, let alone the only weapon with which you expect to win the heart of the man you like.

Therefore, for the prospect of your relationship, you need not only a virtuoso technique of controlling the body, but also warmth, and the ability to understand and accept the inner world of a man next to him. Even the most sophisticated man in sex, after violent caresses and passionate embraces, seeks to pour out his soul and receive sympathy and understanding as a reward.

Worldly wisdom says that you need to meet with a man dozens of times before entering into an intimate relationship. If a woman is not particularly demanding and easily enters into intimacy, no man will long and persistently look after her. What for? Everything goes by itself. Men calculate easy prey unmistakably, as if inside them there is a special device that accurately captures the fluids of frivolity emanating from a woman. Sexual availability should not be confused with sex appeal. Accessibility indicates low self-esteem, which pushes a woman to contact the first person she meets in order to prove to herself and those around her that she is a woman. Sexual attractiveness, on the other hand, suggests that a woman knows her own worth, is confident in her own irresistibility and is a master of the art of seduction. She is the main strategist, and the man is only a tactician who acts in accordance with the plan worked out by the "general staff". Only with such a "subordination" a woman can avoid bitter disappointments and forge her happiness.

Tricks men use to persuade women to have sex

There is no one more generous with promises than a man seized with desire. At the beginning of a relationship, a man literally attacks a woman. Everything is used: from flowers and compliments to vows of eternal love and expensive gifts. And the most daring may even promise to get married and appoint a day when you go to apply.

A woman, as a rule, gives up with such an onslaught, because she really wants to hold this magical moment and prolong it as long as possible. But woe to that fool who believes everything that the man said to her the day before. The man before and after are two different people. The first is ardent and passionate, the second is cold and indifferent. Having received what he so wanted, the man instantly forgets all the promises and tries to get rid of the already boring and uninteresting young lady as soon as possible. Perhaps, after a while, he will again remember about you and be white and fluffy, tell a touching story about his best friend's illness, or something similar - this is called a game of pity. No woman can resist the poor and unhappy, lonely and abandoned, abandoned and misunderstood. And you will give up, and everything will happen again, but only now you will feel doubly humiliated.

By donating your body, which a man is so persistently seeking, you will make the mistake of thinking that this act will strengthen your relationship and will be the key to their reliability. You should never go to humiliation in order to keep a man near you. This will surely end in complete psychological dependence, which will be extremely difficult to get rid of.

The impeccable technique of love

If a man proposes, and you want to delay the beginning of an intimate relationship, do not tease him or arouse passion in him. The call of nature sounds in a man much more insistently than in a woman. If he gets very aroused and does not get satisfaction, he may get angry that you only teased him. To keep a man out of intimacy, let him know that you will do this as soon as you get to know him better and when he is ready for a monogamous relationship. I don’t want to sound like a puritan, but this is about the relationship that we lead to marriage. And believe me, in the attitude of men to this issue, nothing has changed since the time when Eve wanted to legitimize her relationship with Adam. And this method, to reach the coveted ring on the finger, still works.

Your job is to reject sexual intercourse, but not reject the man himself.

To instill in him that they are ready to have sex with him if he is ready for a long-term monogamous relationship. If you hear in response: “I’m not ready,” “I won’t allow myself to be manipulated,” or something like that, do not argue and don’t even stop him from leaving. Argument your position by the fact that you are obliged to take care of yourself, for you personally, RANDOM SEX is excluded, but you respect his position. If after a while your man calls and says that he is ripe for a long monogamous relationship, make the first sexual experience with a possible husband unforgettable and as intense as possible. If not, then, continuing the analogy of traveling by car, he is not the “driver” you want. As a “passenger”, you cannot embark on a journey if the “driver” is driving in the wrong direction and does not observe the “driving” monogamy.

How can you make your sexual relationship more enjoyable?

It's time to show what you are capable of. Most men want to marry a sexually competent woman. But a woman with a lot of sexual experience often scares a man. If you know a thousand ways and have used all of them, then keep your knowledge to yourself, at least at the beginning of the relationship. Usually a man wants to think that his knowledge of sex is not inferior to that of his partner.

You are not much different from other women when it comes to your sexual technique. However, you can stand out from others if you create a pleasant atmosphere before and after intimacy. Use your imagination and personality of your man. If you are making love at home, buy a robe for the man so he has something to wear when he comes. The use of pleasant music and dim light to create a feeling of warmth and comfort, I think, does not need to be reminded. If you meet at his home, I recommend getting some slippers. I call this “mark territory”.

The requirements for this one of the most erotic details of your wardrobe are as follows. These are not flip flops, not duty slippers for guests, these are your personal shoes. It should look like shoes. It is possible on a heel, with a down trim, embroidered with beads, the more original, the better. You will always look sexy in them, even if you wear your man's T-shirt. They have a special role. When you are not around, a man, bumping into them, will instantly remember you.

Even if another woman comes to visit (God forbid), then, being offered to her, your shoes will work as a kind of lightning rod, causing an outburst of rage or jealousy in the stranger, which is also not bad. Do not open your mouth on someone else's loaf.

We are grateful to the IG "AST" for the provided excerpt from the book by Roza Syabitova "Techniques of marriage studies. Traps, tricks, roles of a cunning and clever woman. "

We will tell you from how many years you can have sex in Russia, what age of sexual consent is indicated in the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, and how people are judged for having an intimate relationship with adolescents.

Why is the age of consent important?

Child sexuality has been the subject of legislative regulation since ancient times and can still cause controversy in society itself and in its ruling circles. The ideas of morality and ethics, economic conditions, and other factors are changing, and at the same time, discussions about the age at which a person is considered responsible for his sex life and the extent of this responsibility do not stop. Age can increase or decrease in one era or another, but in no country in the world does this happen without debate about the justification of such steps. Until the beginning of the 20th century, the question “at what age you can have sex” was resolved with the appearance of signs of puberty at 12-14 years old in girls and boys, respectively.

At all times, early marriages were widespread everywhere, but after several scientific, technical and sexual revolutions, the eternal question "how many years you can have sex" from the moral and ethical became more economic, since the consequences of early pregnancy often have to be cleared up by the state, hence the tendency towards it increase in the twentieth century.

The issue of the age of sexual consent in Russia by 2017 was also repeatedly discussed, the last significant change in this regard was the exclusion of the indication of puberty from the Criminal Code, the achievement or non-achievement of which the victim was considered as one of the qualifying signs of sexual abuse of a child. As of August 2017, from the point of view of Russian legislation, boys and girls under the age of 16 are not entitled to consent to have sexual intercourse with an adult, but only an adult will be punished for sex in this case.

What does the age of sexual partners affect?

From the age of 16, nonviolent sexual relations with an adult are not punished, as is intimate relations between young people under the age of 16. Therefore, answering how many years sex is allowed in Russia, you need to take into account the age of both partners. Voluntary sex, including non-traditional sex, between minors is not punishable. If there is a small age difference (less than 4 years) between an adult and his partner under 16, then the very fact of such a relationship, without violence, can be condemned under Art. 134 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, but in this case, imprisonment cannot be applied to the guilty person.

The severity of punishment under Art. 134 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation for sex with a person under 16 years old depends on how old the victim was: from 12 to 14 or from 14 to 16 years. A child under 12 years old is considered by law to be unable to understand the meaning of such actions, that is, there can be no question of any mutual consent, therefore, an intimate relationship with him immediately goes under the article "Rape" (131 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) or "Violent acts of a sexual nature using the helpless state ”(132 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation), and the perpetrators are punished for this at the age of 14 years.

For what and how are they punished?

To prosecute under Art. 134, it must be proved that the adult at least admitted that his victim was between 12 and 16 years old. If, at the same time, sex was associated with violence, responsibility will come under the totality of Art. 131 or Art. 132 with art. 134 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Also from Art. 134 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation may involve compulsion to acts of a sexual nature (Art. 133 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation). Despite the fact that Art. 134 is called "Sexual intercourse and other actions of a sexual nature with a person under the age of sixteen," for these other actions (for example, oral or anal sex) are condemned under Art. 135 of the Criminal Code ("Lecherous actions").

When considering such cases, examinations of the obstetric and gynecological profile are assigned (see clauses 70 - 70.23.5 of the Order of the Ministry of Health and Social Development of Russia dated 05/12/2010 N 346n), which establish physical development, physique, fatness, height, pelvic size and other anthropometric data , the presence of malformations, the ability to copulate and conceive, etc. The specifics of the procedure for the examination of males are defined in clauses 71-71.13.18 of the Order. In particular, general anthropometric indicators, physical development, the ability to have sexual intercourse and fertilization, etc. are established.

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