Shy toddler: How to help your child overcome shyness

19.07.2019

Most likely, the baby simply did not acquire the necessary social skills. Most often, these children prefer to communicate with adults, which is understandable. With them it is very convenient to stay small, not be responsible for anything, always have privileges and shift the initiative to others. If a child feels comfortable only among adults, do not rush to write him down as a child prodigy - most likely, this is a sign of infantilism. Special attention should be paid to this so that infantilism does not take root and does not become a stable character trait.

Why do some children grow up shy and timid?

The main enemy of the child's independence is the overprotection of adults. If the parents decide everything for him, warn all his desires, try to protect him as much as possible from any negative events, from the bad influence of the street, the baby grows up not even shy, but anxiously fearful. He does not make contact, because strangers seem dangerous to him. Such children refuse to go to kindergarten, and if they are brought there, they often cry for a long time, worrying that they have been abandoned, keep aloof and look at other children as enemies.

It is no less harmful to impose excessive demands on a child, to surround them with prohibitions and restrictions. If you are too hard on your little one and make comments all the time, he may refuse any kind of activity, including acquaintance and communication, simply for fear of making mistakes. When such a child is brought to me for consultation, he stands next to his mother, his head down, sometimes glancing at me from under his brows. It would never occur to him to walk around the office, look at the toys. At the same time, his mother constantly makes comments to him, pulls him back: “How are you standing? Straighten up! Get your hands out of your pockets. "

Both overprotection and excessive exactingness extinguish in the baby cognitive activity, initiative and the ability to enter into relationships with peers. Therefore, if you think your child is too timid and shy, first of all, analyze your behavior.

How else can you help your little one overcome their shyness?

Never say in front of a child that he is shy, then he will not perceive himself that way.
If you have a phlegmatic or melancholic child, give him time to get used to the new situation: take the "first blow" of a meeting with a stranger and after a while, as if remembering, try quietly, without focusing on it connecting your baby to common activities.
Praise your baby as often as possible in front of other people. Such praise increases the child's self-esteem and builds a trusting attitude towards others.
Stimulate communication between your baby and peers - on the playground, in the development center, etc. Be sure to visit. And accept it: in the role of the owner, the child is guaranteed to be in the spotlight.
Show an example of communication: Have your child see how you connect with people.
Before going for a walk, talk to your baby about several scenarios of joint play. “You can take a few molds with you and invite someone else to make a fish too. And you will have an aquarium. " “How many cars will you take? Which one will you play? Now let's choose which typewriter you can give another boy to play. You and I will make a road in the sandbox, and cars will drive on it. "
Play at home situations in which the child may feel uncomfortable. For example, like this: “I am Petya, you are Vasya. You have a very interesting typewriter, but I don’t know how I can ask you for it. What do you think needs to be done? Come on, I'll come up and say: “Hello! My name is Petya. And what is your name? Can I play with your toy car? Or let's change. Look what kind of dinosaur I have! ”

The reason for the child's difficulties in communicating with other people is shyness, which in the future can be reflected in his adult life. Excessive shyness in children needs to be corrected. There are various methods for overcoming this character trait.

The essence of shyness

Shyness first makes itself felt in childhood, when the baby is 3-5 years old. During this period, he begins to actively explore the world and communicate with the people around him. Shyness is not hard to recognize. When communicating with adults, the baby is constantly shy, shy, keeps silent and does not answer their questions. He experiences a strong sense of awkwardness, preferring to avoid situations where he will be forced to enter into a conversation with a crowd of strangers.

Despite their shyness, shy children are in no way inferior to their lively peers in mental development. On the contrary, while studying, a calm kid makes great progress, has many talents and abilities. True, he is afraid to express himself, not believing in his own strength. In many cases, shyness is the reason for the formation of various fears in children.

Shy children see themselves as inferior to others, they are insecure and are constantly worried about what others will think of them. This behavior affects the communication process, negatively affecting the adaptation of babies in society. These children take a passive role in communication with their peers, they are very vulnerable and sensitive, thanks to which other children easily subjugate them to their influence. It also happens that babies suffering from shyness are attacked and bullied by their peers.

If you notice communication problems with your child, pay close attention to this and observe him. For shy preschool children, the following behavioral features are characteristic:

complete absence of aggression;
they avoid any communication;
do not like manifestations of interest from strangers to themselves;
are shy and afraid to enter into conversations;
negatively perceive themselves;
are sensitive to any criticism.

Pathological shyness that prevents a baby from living normally in society is a problem that needs a mandatory solution. The above behavior creates conditions for correcting shyness in preschool children, therefore, parents who notice a similar problem in their baby should be vigilant and not leave this situation uncontrolled.

Correction of pathological shyness

To teach how to cope with pathological shyness, a child will need the help of not only relatives, but also kindergarten teachers, as well as a psychologist. An integrated approach will help the kid overcome shyness, self-doubt, teach him to communicate with people around him, and make friends.

It is important that when such a problem is identified, the kindergarten teacher treats the baby correctly, shows attentiveness and provides assistance. The feeling of trust that is established between the child and his teacher plays a huge role. If contact is established, the educator will help the baby to be liberated and to believe in himself.

Shy children need more attention, so the teacher, despite all his busyness, should take time for such a baby to talk to him on various topics and ask him how he is doing. You can appoint a child as your assistant and instruct him to perform simple tasks.

There are special techniques that a teacher can use to correct shyness in preschoolers. The main conditions for this process are benevolence, care, attentiveness to the experiences and feelings of a little person. Educators assign one of the main roles in the correction of shyness to the developmental game. This approach to the problem allows us to solve the following tasks:

overcome the shyness and stiffness of the child;
help the baby to be liberated and to believe in their strength;
to build the correct communication links "kid-adult person-peers";
allows a shy toddler to develop skills and communication skills;
expand social connections;
achieve emotional relaxation;
understand the inner psychological problems of the baby;
if developmental lag is detected, send for examination.

The conditions for correcting shyness are to create a comfortable and welcoming environment around the baby in which he could relax, stop worrying, let go of all his fears and start communicating with other children.

Psychologist's help

A child psychologist can also help a shy child solve an existing problem. In this case, the work will be built step by step. At the first stage, in order to motivate communication and develop communication skills, the doctor will use such a common approach as fairy tale therapy. At the second stage, with the help of collective play, the baby will learn to establish contact with other people. Then the attention of the specialist will be paid to the study of the psychoemotional state of the little patient (the ability to show and recognize their emotions). At the last stage, with the help of creative implementation, the baby will try to put the acquired communication skills into practice.

Game therapy is the most effective method for working with preschool children. During fun, interesting communication, the child forgets about shyness, relaxing and learning to communicate with peers. The psychologist arranges group sessions to help simulate various life situations and find simple ways to solve them. Games "Director", "Exhibition", "Orator" will help a shy kid to stop being afraid of being in the spotlight, teach him to express himself in public and not be afraid to express his opinion.

Since children suffering from shyness experience intense inner tension and fear all the time, it is important that the game includes relaxation elements, during which the child will perform simple relaxation exercises to calm meditative music.

Tactfulness and patience are two quality approaches that professionals should take when working with a shy toddler. This will give him the opportunity to open up and get rid of such an unpleasant character trait.

Ways to combat childhood shyness

The main helpers for children in the fight against this "ailment" are their parents. To overcome shyness and insecurity in your preschool child, you need to be tactful because your toddler may take your help as criticism and worry that he is disappointing you.

To overcome children's stiffness and timidity in communication, simple ways will help you.

Don't make endless comments because of his behavior. Observing your child will give you a better understanding of their personality traits.
Help your kid expand his circle of contacts. This is not difficult to do. Encourage his fleeting acquaintances, invite classmates from the kindergarten and housemates to visit, walk on such sites where there are children of the same age. Don't quit while communicating. Help him get to know other guys, keep the conversation going and play.
Be sure to provide your child with fun and varied leisure activities. When choosing the sections to visit, keep in mind the creativity of the baby. Only a truly interesting activity will help him feel confident and calm.
Try to invent various games, during which the kid would not only learn about the world around him, but would also reveal various abilities and skills. Don't prevent your toddler from taking the initiative and making independent decisions about how you will spend your day. It is important to teach the child to communicate in the family without hysterics and shouting, boldly expressing his opinion.
It should be remembered that the constant change of place of study negatively affects even a confident and courageous kid. If you had objective reasons because of which you were forced to change kindergarten, help your child through this adaptation period. Involve your toddler in a variety of homework assignments. This will help him feel needed, give him confidence and liberate him.

The main thing in the process of your communication with him is to show patience, calmness and love.

Shy children do not get much from life, because they limit their communication with the world around them. They lead a secluded life and feel very lonely. It is difficult for such kids to make friends, they get lost in a large company of their peers, they do not know how to stand up for themselves. So that he does not feel socially rejected, psychologists advise parents to instill in them communication skills. This is not difficult to do.

Teach your child to look the other person in the face. To do this, when talking to your baby, ask him to maintain eye contact with you all the time. Repeat as often as possible these phrases: "Look me in the eyes!" and "Don't lower your gaze!" This will reinforce the ability not to hide your eyes during a conversation, which will give him more confidence in the process of communicating with strangers.
Make sure your little one knows how to start and end a conversation. Work with your child to think of and write down phrases to communicate with different groups of people. Let the baby try to formulate himself how he would communicate with a stranger, a guest of your house, his friend, a newcomer in the group, a kindergarten teacher. After dividing the roles, rehearse what this communication might look like. Actively involve the child in telephone conversations, the immediate absence of the interlocutor in front of your eyes makes the communication process much easier.
Prepare your baby in advance for various social events: visiting guests, going to a public place, speaking at a matinee, focusing on what you can talk about in different situations.
Pair games, according to psychologists, are the simplest and most effective way to correct shyness in a preschool child. To do this, invite your baby's friend to visit, be sure to exclude watching TV at this time and give them the opportunity to get to know each other better.

Conclusion

Shyness in a preschool child needs special attention from adults. Do not leave the situation to chance, such a character trait can create a lot of problems for the baby, which will definitely remind of themselves in adulthood. Shy toddlers need behavioral correction. Parental support, kindergarten teachers, as well as work with a psychologist will help the child get rid of shyness, establish communication and make many friends.

At home, your baby, it seems, never stops talking and all his actions are accompanied by chatter. But as soon as he finds himself in a new environment, for example, on a playground where there are many unfamiliar children, he turns into the most shy child in the world, hides behind your legs and refuses to go out.

Many parents think it's not so bad to have a shy child. A little shyness is unlikely to interfere with a child, but in a more pronounced version, it negatively affects his desire, narrows his circle of friends and can even have a bad effect on academic performance in elementary school.

Bernardo Carducci, a physician and author of books on shyness, claims that some people start using alcohol and drugs to cope with their shyness. There is another frightening consequence of "untreated" constraint - such children become easy prey for hooligans among their peers.

How to distinguish common caution from painful withdrawal at an early age?

How to distinguish healthy from unhealthy shyness?

Shyness is a mental state caused by self-doubt or lack of social skills. But at the same time, shyness is a natural stage of development: it is a method of adapting to new situations.

In childhood, each person experiences two phases of fear of strangers: the first - at six months and the second - from two to four years. These processes are associated with the recognition and differentiation of oneself, people and the rest of the world.

But there are times when shyness becomes a problem. Such children, according to doctors, have other behavioral problems. And if you watch them, you will notice the frequent neighbors of shyness.

If you notice that your child is showing signs of unhealthy shyness, then I the Parent recommends that you take some time to do so. Below are seven guidelines on how to do this.

1. Prepare your child for conversation

Let's consider a situation in which you suddenly meet an old friend in a store who does not yet know your little one. And in response to questions, the child is silent and looks at the floor.

How can a child be helped in such a situation? Talk to a friend for a while before introducing them. Let the baby see that you are comfortable with this person. This will calm him down and he will be ready to speak. But if the child refuses, do not insist, after the store ask why he was uncomfortable.

Practice your dialogues. Together with your child, make a list of expressions that the child can use in conversation with peers, caregivers or teachers, your friends, family members. Then rehearse the dialogues: switch roles until the child feels confident and communicates with you independently and freely.

Another awkward situation can happen on the playground. You come there once and you don't see a single familiar face. And your kid is embarrassed to make friends with other guys.

What can you do in such a situation? Encourage your toddler to help other children with their play, such as offering them your toy. Also, a few compliments made by you towards the guys can help to relax.

3. Prepare your child in advance for noisy holidays

Before the holidays or other noisy events in kindergarten or at home, tell your child what will happen at the party, who is invited, what will be done.

Philip Zimbardo, a well-known psychologist who studies childhood shyness, in his recent book, recommends that parents of shy toddlers find younger friends for them. This helps children to feel free, because communication with a younger child makes them feel the leadership and responsibility that timid children need so much. After that, the child will be able to communicate more confidently with peers.

4. Observe yourself

A common cause of children's shyness lies in the behavior of parents: criticism, public shaming, excessive control over every step of the child. At the same time, this behavior is not balanced by manifestations and praise.

Observe yourself and think about how you can change your attitude towards your child to help him relax.

5. Don't give conflicting commands

When a kid hears at the same time “leave me alone,” “where did you go,” “don’t climb,” “come to me,” and the like, he does not understand what he needs to do to make mom and dad happy, and closes in on himself.

6. Do not discuss your child's behavior with other people.

Don't emphasize the child's shyness. Do not discuss the child with family and friends in his presence. Show empathy for his problems, don't ignore his fears.

7. Give your child "household" tasks

Be sure to help your toddler work shyly in daily activities: have him answer the phone, order his own food at the restaurant, and pay at the store.

8. Teach your child to thank

Teaching your toddler to say thank you and say please is an old and proven way of teaching communication.

Don't worry too much: most children go through a "shy" period by the age of seven, especially if they see how relaxed their parents are in the company. Make sure your kids see you as a socially successful person, and try to match this example whenever possible.

Alexandra Kozlova

Shyness in preschool children is such an internal position of a child if he pays too much attention to the opinions of other people. The child becomes overly sensitive to being judged by people around him. Hence the desire to insulate oneself from people and situations that potentially threaten criticism about his appearance or behavior. As a result, the child tries to stay in the background, to avoid relationships that can draw undue attention to his personality.

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Photo Gallery: Shyness in Preschool Children

Embarrassment can be regarded as voluntary imprisonment of oneself. It is like a prison, when prisoners are deprived of the right to freedom of speech, freedom of communication, etc. Most people feel shy in one way or another. It is a certain natural protective device that allows you to assess the possible consequences of an act before it is committed. Usually, shyness in children goes along with low self-esteem. Even apart from the fact that shy children are able to appreciate a number of some of their qualities or abilities, they are generally extremely self-critical. One of the reasons for low self-esteem is too high demands on yourself. They all the time fall a little short of the level that they demand of themselves.

Ideal relationships between parents and children should develop individuality in preschool children, a firm belief in their own worth. When love is not given free of charge, if it is offered in exchange for something, for example, for "correct" behavior, then the child will suppress his own "I" and self-esteem with each of his actions. The premise of such a relationship with a child is obvious: you are good only to the extent that your achievements are significant, and you will never jump above your head. This is how feelings of love, approval, and acceptance are made into consumer goods that can be bargained for in exchange for "good behavior." And the worst thing is that with the slightest offense, you can lose them. And an insecure, shy person perceives this order of things as absolutely normal: he supposedly does not deserve better. Whereas a person who is given unconditional love, even after several failures, does not lose faith in his primary value.

Sources of shynessin preschool children

Some psychologists believe that shyness is genetically determined. Already in the first weeks of life, children are emotionally different from each other: some cry more, are more prone to mood swings. In addition to all this, children initially tend to differ in temperament and the need for contacts. Later, these traits can germinate and develop into stable patterns of behavior. Children with unusually sensitive nervous systems take everything to heart. Accordingly, an extremely cautious approach to everything is developed and a constant readiness to retreat.

The acquisition of social experience allows you to fully form a number of genetically determined patterns of behavior. Children who love to smile are more likely to smile back. They are more often carried on hands than with sullen or calm children. There are many underlying reasons for the development of shyness, stemming from childhood emotions, as well as how these emotions are perceived by a particular person. If parents do not know how to teach children to be sociable by their example, children are likely to grow up shy.

The study found that the country with the highest prevalence of shyness and shyness among preschool children is Japan, where 60% of those surveyed consider themselves shy. It is customary to use the feeling of shame to adjust the behavior of individuals in accordance with generally accepted norms of behavior. The Japanese grow up deeply convinced that they have no right to discredit their family even a little. In Japan, the entire burden of responsibility for failures rests solely on the shoulders of the child himself, but for the successes they thank the parents, teachers, and the coach. Such a system of values suppresses in a person the inclinations of enterprise and initiative. In Israel, for example, children are brought up in an absolutely opposite way. Any achievement is attributed solely to the child's ability, while failure is blamed on wrong parenting, ineffective education, injustice, etc. In other words, actions are encouraged and stimulated, and failures are not severely punished. Israeli children do not lose anything as a result of defeat, but as a result of success they receive a reward. So why not give it a try? Japanese children, on the other hand, won’t gain anything, but they can lose a lot. Therefore, they always hesitate and try not to take risks.

The main reasons for shyness

There are many reasons for the emergence of shyness and shyness, as there are many specific circumstances that cause shyness as a reaction to a specific situation. Below is a list of the categories of people and situations that may cause this reaction.

People who cause shyness:
1. Strangers
2. Authoritative individuals (through their knowledge)
3. Members of the opposite sex
4. Authoritative individuals (through their position)
5. Relatives and foreigners
6. Older people
7. Friends
8. Parents
9. Brothers and sisters (most rare)

Most often, shyness in preschool children is caused by people who differ from them in certain parameters, have power, and control the flow of necessary resources. Or are they people so close that they can afford to criticize them.

Circumstances that cause shyness:

Being in the spotlight of a large group of people, such as performing at a matinee
Lower status than others
Situations that require self-confidence
New circumstances
Situations to be assessed
Weakness, need for help
One-on-one stay with a person of the opposite sex
Socialite talk
Being the focus of a small group of people
The need for activities in a limited circle of people

Shy children are always very anxious when they are forced to perform some actions in unfamiliar circumstances, where criticisms of other people take place, which are unnecessarily demanding and influential.

How can I help a shy child?

Psychologists talk about three main "parenting" behaviors. They are described as follows:
an example of a liberal model - a child gets as much freedom as he is able to accept;
an example of an authoritarian model - the child's freedom is limited, the main advantage is obedience;
an example of an authoritative model - there is complete control of the child's activities by the parents, but only within a reasonable and constructive framework.

Research results indicate that an authority model is desirable and most effective. It promotes self-confidence in preschool children, which means it is most effective in curing childhood shyness. Despite the general opinion, applying very clear liberalism in parenting does not develop self-confidence. Liberal parents often show inattention to the child, they do not consider it necessary to develop the basic lines of his behavior. They often “sin” with inconsistency in upbringing, because of this, children may feel that their parents are not interested in their feelings and problems, that they are not needed at all by their parents.

The other extreme concerns the authoritarian parenting model. Parents who choose this model also pay little attention to their children when they mean unconditional love and care. They are limited only to the satisfaction of all physical needs. They are primarily concerned with aspects of parenting such as leadership and discipline, but they do not care at all about the emotional health of preschool children. Authoritarian parents care about the impression their children make on the people around them. For them, this is even more important than intra-family relations. They are absolutely sure that they form a "real person" out of a child, not realizing that they are coming to the opposite.

The peculiarity of the authoritative model of upbringing is that, on the one hand, there is parental control, but on the other, the child develops as a person. These parents have a clear idea of what the child is capable of, they often have confidential conversations with him and listen to what the child answers. Such parents are not afraid to change the rules of the game when a new circumstance forces them to act differently.

Before proceeding to the description of how to fight shyness in preschool children and raise an open, emotionally receptive and at the same time not shy child, I would like to note one nuance. Perhaps you, as parents, will be forced to change yourself in the first place. You may be required to completely change the atmosphere in the home so that it does not contribute to the development of shyness in the child.

Tactile contact

Just as the link between shyness and insecurity is clear, so too is the dependence on the touch of a sense of security and calmness to be noticed. Even if you've never done this before, start pampering your kids now. Kiss them, show your love. Touch them gently, pat them on the head, hug them.

Intimate talk

It has been proven that children begin to speak correctly and expressively earlier if their mother has talked to them a lot since birth. Children, whose mothers simply silently perform their duties, speak poorly, they have a small vocabulary. Even if your baby is too young to understand anything, talk to him. So you put into it a certain communication program. When your child begins to speak on their own, their urge to communicate will depend on how much you listen to them and respond to them.

Let the child freely express their thoughts and feelings. Let him talk freely about what he wants, what he likes and what not. Let your anger vent sometimes. This is extremely important as, in general, shy people do not know how to behave properly during their temper tantrums. Do not let your child accumulate emotions within him, let him learn to assert his rights. Teach him to express his feelings directly, for example: "I am sad" or "I feel good", etc. Encourage your child to talk, but don't force them to participate.

Unconditional love

You need to take seriously the words of psychologists who believe that if you are not happy with the behavior of the child, you must make sure to let him know that it is not the child himself, but his actions that resent you. In other words, it is important for a child to know that he is loved, and this love does not depend on anything, it is constant and unchanging, that is, unconditional.

Discipline with love and understanding

Excessive discipline can affect the development of shyness in preschool children for the following reasons:

Discipline is often based on the child’s initial wrongness, on the assertion that he must change. This leads to a decrease in self-esteem.
The frightening authority of the parents can develop into a serious complex, in which the child will feel fear of any authority figures. Embarrassment in this case is not a manifestation of reverence, it is a manifestation of fear of power.
The basic concept of discipline is control. Overly controlled children grow up fearing that they will lose control or that they will be forced to control a difficult situation.
The object of discipline is the person, not the circumstances. And very often the reason for the behavior is in the environment or behavior of other people. Before you punish a child, be sure to ask why he broke one of your rules.

The discipline should not be public. Respect your child's dignity. Public reprimands and the shame a child experiences while doing so can increase their shyness. Try not only to notice the child's wrongdoing, but also to celebrate the good behavior.

Teach your child to be tolerant

Only by example can you teach children to be sympathetic. Let them look for the cause of failure primarily in the circumstances, and not in the people around them. Talk about why the person is doing certain reckless things, or what might have influenced the change in their behavior.

Don't brand a child

Whenever you feel like saying something unpleasant to your child, remember the strong connection between a child's self-esteem and shyness. It can help you overcome your impulse. It is important for a child to evaluate himself positively.

Confidence

Teach your child to trust people more. For this, it is important for parents to have the closest possible relationship with the child. Let him know that you love and appreciate him for who he is. And that there are other people who, too, can value and respect him if he gets close to them. Of course, there will always be those who will cheat or betray, but, firstly, there are fewer of them, and secondly, sooner or later they will be brought to clean water.

Pay attention to children

Try to reduce the time you spend away from your child and always warn him if you can give him attention. Even a minute of warm and respectful conversation with a child is much more important than a whole day when you were sitting nearby, but were busy with your own business.

Shyness is usually one of the defense mechanisms. Many often noticed how funny kids get lost in kindergarten at a matinee when they read a poem or hide behind their mother's skirt, when strangers try to talk to them. Shy children say little, do little, hide in some secluded place, trying to become as invisible to prying eyes as possible. With parents, grandparents, and those whom they know well, such children easily make contact, behave completely normal. But as soon as they find themselves in an unfamiliar place, among strangers, they are shy and lost. How to overcome shyness in a child?

Shy by inheritance

Psychologists do not say with absolute certainty that there is an ooze of shyness gene. However, shy parents produce the same offspring. It is not known whether this character trait is transmitted at the genetic level or whether children learn the style of behavior of their parents in the process of life, but the fact remains. Timid behavior of one or both parents is perceived by the child as the norm and cannot be challenged.

Don't confuse modesty and shyness.

If a child is showing shyness, his parents will treat her differently. Some reproach the child for his character. Others see nothing wrong with this and even encourage shyness, mistaking it for modesty.

Modesty and shyness are two different things. A person can be modest, calm, but at the same time firm and confident in himself. And behind the shyness lies low self-esteem and self-dislike.

Find reasons and help

Experts believe that the main reason for shyness is the child's low self-esteem, which is most often formed in the family. Many adults, in order not to spoil their child, create around him an atmosphere of prohibitions and a continuous "no".

It happens that parents do not praise their child, they often pull him back, tell him to shut up. Parents do it casually, after a couple of minutes forgetting what was said, but this splinter can remain in a child's soul all his life. Such children are afraid to ask, knowing that they will be refused, they are afraid to speak first, because they will certainly be told to shut up, they are not the first to make contact with their peers for fear that they will be rejected.

If you find that your child is painfully shy, take a detached view of your relationship with him. Are you too hard on him? Are you forbidding too much? Or tell him that he is somehow worse than the rest? Or maybe you have grown a "home flower" and you shouldn't so zealously fence it off from the outside world?

Try to remember yourself as a child. Most likely, you yourself, for any reason, were also shy and hid behind your mother, and having matured, you never opened and expressed yourself, fearing to be rejected. If then you were taught to overcome shyness and love yourself, who can say how positive your life would be?

If the child is not confident in himself, is dissatisfied with his appearance, the results of his own work, or is sure in advance that he will not succeed, help him to feel his importance. Each child has many excellent traits that no one else has, and your task is to help him find these traits in himself and believe in himself.

Teach your child to communicate, but remember that shy companions are incredibly vulnerable creatures, so never reproach him for being shy. Help your child to be sociable.

For example, instruct him to buy something from the store on his own or pay for the bus fare, if you are walking in a courtyard with many children, help him get to know someone. Thus, children can be involved in any everyday situation where strangers will be present. Never leave a shy child alone in a difficult situation for him.

Convince him that he is good and smart, or, at least, no worse than the others, often encourage and praise your baby. In the beginning, he will internally shrink and look back at you, but as they say, patience and work will give results.