What prospective students need to know. What a future first grader needs to know

The dog, cat and fish principle

(or the principle of causation)

Imagine you have a room. This room has a cat and a fish in a bowl. The fish behaves as usual. At a certain moment, 2 things happen: the dog enters the room, and the cat leaves the room. At the same time, the fish begins to sing. Question: what made the fish sing?

There are many possibilities to consider. Presumably it happened because a dog entered. And we can assume that the reason is that the cat came out. Or maybe the reason is a combination of both events. Perhaps both events had nothing to do with it. And the fact is that 18:17 is the time the fish turns into a witch. Maybe all the fish are singing. Some of these options may turn out to be true.

What is really important for the programmer is to be able to isolate the reasons for the change. You will run into situations like this all the time you code. In such situations, we might want to ask ourselves: can we simulate a dog entering without a cat coming out (this can clarify a lot); can we simulate the exit of the cat without the entrance of the dog; can we fully reproduce the setting (for example, the time 18:17) to understand if it affects the singing of fish, regardless of dogs and cats. Etc. It is very important to apply a methodology to establish the causes of change. This ability will help you over and over as you code.

Abstractions, or the principle of "pizza"

This is one of the trickiest principles. Imagine a pizzeria. Every day the chef prepares pizza with different fillings. Each pizza is cooked in a specific order: first you prepare the dough, then you leave it, then you put it in the mold, add the tomato sauce, filling, cheese, and at the end you bake it.

But naturally, the chef doesn't prepare every pizza from scratch in the order described here. It would take years. Instead, he prepares everything in advance, and when it comes to Neapolitan, all he needs to do is take the base (which is already formed), add tomato sauce, anchovies and cheese, and then bake in the oven.

The important thing to understand here is that the chef only needs to know the ingredients for each particular pizza, but otherwise all pizzas are similar to one another. Programming looks very similar, you use "abstractions" to store more general data (it's like the basis of a pizza), separating it from more specific data (toppings).

Let's turn pizza making into code. First, let's start doing it wrong. Let's make a method make_a_napoletana_pizza (make Neapolitan pizza):

Make_a_napoletana_pizza

It will have 5 steps (make a base, add tomato sauce, add anchovies, add cheese, bake):

Make_the_base add_the_tomato_sauce add_anchovy add_cheese bake

Fine. But what if we want to make a salami pizza? We will be forced to write a completely new method, make_a_salami_pizza (to make a salami pizza), which has a lot in common with the current method, except that it adds salami instead of anchovies. This is somewhat costly. The programming approach is to "abstract" the common parts of pizza making methods and take into account the differing, specific ingredients. We can do this with an "argument" that is "passed" to the method.

That's what it means. Let's say our make_a_pizza method is called with the argument "toppings". The method will look something like this:

Make_a_pizza (toppings)

And it will work like this:

Make_the_base add_the_tomato_sauce add_toppings (toppings) add_cheese bake

On line 3, we take the toppings defined earlier and add them to the pizza.

Now that we have defined a general method for making pizza, we can simply call it and set the ingredients we want. Everything happens automatically. In other words, we call make_pizza (salami), and when the method runs, the salami becomes toppings and is added to the pizza when the method reaches the 3rd line. By simply changing the filling, you can create 2 different pizzas using the same method. It's as economical as when the waitress just writes “1 x salami, 1 x vegetarian” on the order form and the chef knows everything he needs. In programming, this is called "abstraction".

So we have: seven principles that are usually learned in the first 3 years of programming, and that make a significant contribution to understanding the art of coding. If you are starting your journey, these principles can help you too.

You found out that you will have a child. If this is your firstborn, then your reaction is most likely difficult to describe, even if you (let's proceed from this) love both each other and children in general. This is both joy and fears - a lot of fears (“I drank that night”, “I should have quit smoking for a long time”, “why did she take antibiotics a week ago”). I think this is natural - after all, we want the best for our children, we want to do everything, everything right from the very beginning, not to harm and not spoil anything.

In the meantime, all these and dozens of other doubts and fears are likely to multiply and multiply in the head of your beloved, and it’s your happiness if she tells you about them herself and regularly, even if it happens extremely emotionally. More often, a woman keeps her worries to herself, precisely because most of the doubts of the future mother relate to herself.

Therefore, your main task at the very first stage is to help her cope with this mental turmoil (multiplied by the hormonal explosion that accompanies the expectation of a child, and this phenomenon is beyond the control of the mind). Awareness of this vulnerability of your loved one will already help you to change your attitude towards her "suddenly" changed behavior. Now you both need to achieve harmony in the perception of the very fact of pregnancy, throw off uncertainty from one side of the scale, and let the other side - with the exciting joy of expectation, confidently "win".

Your woman is a sacred vessel as the heroine of the movie "Juno" said. Inside him, miraculous transformations are taking place, and least of all this little miracle expects you to clarify the relationship, resentment and self-affirmation. It is waiting for love, but how else can you create such an atmosphere if you do not surround the one who is the “home” for the unborn baby with support and care? This is your second most important mission - after you have shown understanding - to maintain this parental harmony.

To do this, try to show your future mother as often as possible your love, tenderness, care (and no matter how often you do it, they will still be a little missed) - give small gifts, buy the most delicious and useful, see off and meet, in short, do what your woman expects to receive, being in this state, unique for her soul and body. And most importantly, talk to her about pregnancy, the unborn child, try to go with her to all doctor's appointments and, especially, ultrasound.

This piece of scientific progress of mankind is a very intimate moment and, in a way, even a sacrament. It is at the first screening that future parents, if (God forbid!) Everything goes well, they will be able to together exhale with relief, peering at the still obscure black-and-white lump on the screen. It was there, in the next sessions, together with a sinking heart you will count your fingers and guess facial features, arguing later on who he will look like.

The next thing you will have to do, as the baby gains weight, loading her mother's back, rebuilding all her internal organs and demanding to observe it, and not some other, the mode of work and rest is, of course, help and care. So,

a) Physical assistance. Whether you are a macho, a traditionalist, or just a male chauvinist, the expectation of Fatherhood by this date should already change your priorities and values. Take on some of the household chores that you have not done before - shopping for groceries, going to the market, you can try to cook something up (world experience shows that men are usually first-class cooks) or vacuum (about this world experience too has great reviews).

Yes, pregnancy is not a disability, as Western women proudly say, refusing, in their opinion, sexist signs of attention to them. But we must not forget that a woman carries the most valuable load. You will not offer to put a bag of cement on your back for a person who is carrying a mountain of crystal dishes on a tray (readers will forgive me for such a comparison).

Right now, you can do something that you have been putting off for a long time in order to create even more comfort in your "nest" (I was lucky, in the first months of pregnancy, Zarina, my wife, actively traveled on business trips, and I had a chance to do redecoration in the apartment).

b) When I say care - I mean everything that can make a pregnant woman's life easier, but not in terms of household loads, but in terms of the only load that will accompany her constantly and everywhere for 40 weeks, and especially at 2 and 3 trimesters. Without exception, all women are afraid of stretch marks and edema - massage her legs and feet in the evenings (preferably with an anti-edema cream). Without exception, all pregnant women will experience low back pain, sciatica or migraine - give her a back and head massage. Even simple stroking can provide relief and show that you care about your baby's mom.

Listen to your favorite- do not insist if she does not want a massage, or lie down, or something else that you may think is the most correct at the moment. Yet she knows best what is best for her now.

Some moms may think that pregnancy is the time to cover up and indulge their every whim, especially in the gastronomic sense. Often this error is inherent in future fathers as well. So, since my post is for men, I urge you not to allow this thought to settle in the head of your beloved - I am sure, then she will be grateful to you that her lower back does not split, she does not suffer from constipation, and dozens are not recruited. extra pounds.

Make sure that her diet is balanced, including as many vegetables and fruits as possible (those that she wants, but without fanaticism). Walking is useful for all pregnant women - walk together, it’s more fun, and you can “wind” much more kilometers, burning extra calories and ensuring a good night's sleep. Encourage sports (not professional, but special, for pregnant women - yoga and swimming are simply beyond competition here). Make sure that she does not blow, bring a blouse to work if she did not dress for the weather in the morning. Keep track of what medications she takes, if she nevertheless caught a cold (there are not so many of them allowed - they should be on herbal ingredients. We used Biomun and Oscillococcinum - and even then little by little, and in extreme cases - in combination with ascorbic acid).

And the last thing. Opt for partner birth. Attend a parenting class or school together. But Zarina will write about this in more detail.

Fatherhood is no less amazing than motherhood. At the same time, it surprises not only with cute family moments, but also with some circumstances, for which it is better to prepare in advance. Let's be honest, women are more likely to attend special courses, mothers' schools and, in general, are more responsible in matters of planning. We, men, if we attend such classes, either sit there and “nod our heads,” or make fun of the video shown by the midwife teacher. After all, what should we prepare for? We are earners, our goal is to feed our family and that's it. But no! There are a few things to consider.

1. You are the second mom

First, the future dad needs to understand one thing - we do not live in an American TV series of the 50s. Yes, you can go to work, leaving the household to your wife, but this does not mean that she is able to do household chores around the clock.

When you come home, do not rush to familiarly throw off your shoes and fall on the sofa, because you have a whole list of all kinds of activities ahead of you, from bathing to changing diapers and fatherly sports, which consists in carrying your child for many hours in your arms. And do not try to be indignant! After all, today it is not you who are really tired, but your beloved.

The fact is that while you were "earning bread", she also did not sit with folded hands, but did much more difficult work - watching over the child. And if most employers allow employees to go for lunch or a smoke break, then the child does not know such a thing as labor standards.

Therefore, when you return from work, your wife, with a relieved smile, will hand over the child to you and go to satisfy her basic needs: quietly have dinner, take a bath and simply relax. Do not think that she does not understand your weariness. Rather, you do not understand her.

Therefore, humbly accept your child from the hands of your beloved woman and let her sit down at least for a while.

2. Bachelor life in a new version

This interesting feature of the life of a newly-made father partially follows from the previous one and is formed when the wife is not at all opposed to being with the child around the clock. In this case, you already have to serve yourself. It's time to get out of the habit of pots full of borscht, ironed shirts in your wardrobe and other delights of patriarchy. Now you are on your own.

Make a list, set timers on your phone for certain hours, comprehend the secret of time management, do anything, but be ready to have time to do absolutely everything.

Do you remember how in your student years you knew how to cook 1000 and 1 dish from instant noodles? So, this knowledge in the first months of fatherhood is much more vital than your diploma.

It won't last forever, don't worry. In a couple of months, the wife will leave childbirth, get used to it with the child, and then, realizing that it is boring on maternity leave, she will begin to pamper you with culinary delights and perfect cleanliness.

Before that, you will have to undergo a compulsory course of a "young soldier", fighting hunger and unwashed dishes.

However, you will have time to prepare, because in the last months of pregnancy, your wife will also have no time for household chores. During this period, it will be possible to understand it by tying a five-liter eggplant with water to your stomach and trying to wipe the dust on the cabinet. Why is there dust, just walk with this burden for a couple of days.

3. Nothing personal

It's time to talk about the issue that many representatives of the stronger sex hammer into search engines. "When will I finally be able to have sex with my wife?" And in fact, there is simply no exact answer.

The fact is that, according to some doctors, a woman's body is restored after 40 days. Others claim that it takes her two months. But would she want to make love after giving birth?

No, nobody will accept celibacy. But it is not worth trying to insist on the fulfillment of marital duty immediately after 6 weeks.

Think, would you want sex yourself after, say, an operation or a car accident? Your spouse may simply be afraid of this after the pain she experienced in the hospital. You may not like yourself or be too tired.

4. Your child is you

After 2-3 months of living with a child, you will understand that he is you. Not because outwardly similar, but because now he copies your habits and behavior. Here he lies in the same position as his mother sleeping next to him, here he makes a facial expression similar to yours, and now he completely repeats some of your movements, which are unconscious even for you.

At such moments, you understand that the common phrase that “you must start from birth” is not just loud words. The child really copies the parents.

Still not knowing how to speak and even walk, he already strives to be like those who are dearer to him than anyone else in the world - you and your wife.

The best upbringing is a personal example. This is another common truth. It is impossible to talk to a child about the dangers of alcohol or smoking, inhaling on a cigarette and drinking an intoxicating substance. Some couples, in order to set a good example for the child, take him with them to sports training in order to instill in him a healthy lifestyle. Yes, at first, when the baby does not even know how to sit, it is impossible to attend such classes together. But it's worth watching your behavior and speech.

In the end, becoming a worthy role model is a great incentive to quit bad habits and develop yourself in general.

5. You won't get used to it

When you don't have a child, it seems to you that there is nothing surprising in the growth of children. But when your own son begins to turn from a small lump into a plump man, acquires new skills and habits, you cannot sometimes close your mouth in surprise.

And here it is worth getting used to one simple thought: getting used to, adjusting, finding ideal approaches for all occasions will not work.

Yes, the period when “you don’t understand me, I want to get a tattoo on the eyelid and pierce my toes” is still far away, but misunderstanding can arise from the very first years.

At first, the child will change purely physiologically, which will cause a lot of trouble. Today one thing may hurt him, but tomorrow it’s completely different, because, as it turned out, one or another system in his body was completely rebuilt.

You will always be a little confused about what your child wants. Always sincerely rejoice when you guess his desire or think of something that hurts him. It's like a constant race in which you don't have time to get ahead. The main thing to remember is that you are running not for the sake of its quickest end, but for the sake of the process.

33-year-old Briton Simon Hooper and his wife Clemmi live in South London and have four daughters - eight-year-old Anya, five-year-old Marnie and four-month-old twins Otillie and Dilaila. Simon talks about the everyday life of his father with many children in his Instagram account Father of daughers, which is followed by more than 700 thousand subscribers.For The FMLY Man, Simon wrote a column titled "A Letter to Simon Who Has No Children Yet." What warns and what advises a father with experience to himself young and inexperienced?

Hello Friend!

So, you will soon become a father. My congratulations! I know what you are thinking (after all, I am you) - millions of thoughts are now swarming in your head, it is difficult to deal with them, but this is absolutely normal. You are 24, you have been dating a girl for a year and a half, you just graduated from university and started living together. Children were not part of your plans. I remember when Clemmy said that she was pregnant, you lay on the floor and did not know where to hide and what to do - I wanted to scream, cry and laugh at the same time, but believe me, all the subsequent experience made you stronger and better. I want to answer the questions that you asked yourself then, and assure you that everything will be fine, and even more than. You will marry your beloved woman and become the father of four beautiful girls, so in the end everything will be fine, do not worry.

Question number 1. Am I ready to become a father?

The answer is no. Not ready. But you will be fully prepared when the time comes. Now you find it difficult to believe in this, because parenting is a difficult thing, and you will need time to adapt to a new way of life. Now, in order to put your thoughts in order, you had better help your wife, she is also afraid and nervous. Be sure to talk about it - you need to support each other. Her body will change, and she really needs your help and support. Be near. A lot of interesting and important things are told in the preparation for childbirth courses. Listen carefully!

Question number 2. How should I behave during childbirth?

Having a baby is an amazing process. But it can also be scary. It's scary when you can't help your partner with anything. Calm down and convince her that you will be there, no matter what happens. Talk to her quietly and hold her hand. Use relaxing and meditative techniques to help you calm down as much as possible. Make sure she moves more. In fact, childbirth does not happen the way it is shown on TV. She may say rude and even hurtful things when she is tormented by contractions, but in reality she does not mean anything like that. As a result, you will have a wonderful daughter. Thank Clemmi for everything she did. Make sure to hold the baby firmly and look into her eyes. She will become everything to you. And the last tip - try to cry when the baby is born. Clemmi has been nagging me for nine years that I never cried during childbirth.

Question number 3. Will I be able to provide for my family financially?

I know that you are very worried about this, but it's okay. It's amazing how all of your priorities change dramatically after having a baby. It turns out that spontaneous outings with friends are not that important, and you will be too tired for that, especially in the first months. All kinds of manufacturers of baby products will convince you that you are "obligated" to buy everything from them. In fact, all you need is a car seat, a comfy crib, diapers, milk, some cute baby clothes and diapers, lots of diapers. Pacifiers are great for helping babies fall asleep, but don't use them all the time or it can be difficult to wean babies from them.

Question number 4. How do I handle an infant?

Nobody is born with parenting skills, and you shouldn't be overly nervous about it. A baby cries when she needs something, usually there are three reasons for this: she is hungry, tired, or she needs to change a diaper. All three tasks are easy to solve, and you will not have any problems with this. Try to get rid of parenting prejudices and expectations about the kind of father you are going to be. Don't compare yourself to others - every family and situation in it is unique. If you need a model, take your parents as an example. You are what you are, thanks to them, they put into you all the best that they knew and could themselves. Your father is a kind and patient person, children are always in the first place for him. And you will be the same. Don't listen to people who say that their own parents are not an example for them. Following in the footsteps of your mom and dad is the best you can do because they are amazing.

Question number 5. How to raise children together?

You and your wife grew up in wonderful families. They will support you in any way. Responsibility for a living creature is frightening at first, but those around you will support you in the most unexpected way - someone will bring food, someone will sit with the child so that you can rest for a couple of hours and feel like normal people. And in 2014, you even wave off to Brazil for a week, leaving the girls to your parents. Thank everyone who helped you - without them it would be much harder.

Question number 6. I love my life now. How will it change?

You like your current lifestyle (free money, minimal responsibility, the ability to do whatever you want and when you want), but everything will change, and you cannot imagine how fulfilling your life will become. Now this may seem strange to you, but your daughters will become your best friends. For their sake, you will be ready for anything. Your social life will change, you will become less likely to go out to people, but it's not scary, believe me. It happens to everyone sooner or later, and it’s not even about the children, and in truth, you don’t lose anything. Partying gets harder as you get older, so just relax on the weekend whenever and when you get the chance. While you're relatively young, having kids doesn't really hinder your career. In fact, you must be successful in order to pass on to your girls all the experience and knowledge that will help them in the future. I hope these tips will help you understand that the upcoming changes, as scary as they may be, will not prevent you and Clemmi from becoming even closer and stronger as a couple. Your girls are amazing.

Question number 7. Will there be a son?

Sorry old man, you have four daughters. I know when you were told that the firstborn is a girl, you were a little disappointed. Of course, you would like to have a son in order to play football and pass on the last name by inheritance - it seemed to you that it was easier to communicate with your son. But you know what? Now you are surrounded by women, their love and admiration, and you will not exchange it for anything. In the end, the most important thing is that your children are healthy and comfortable in their gender. Girls constantly keep you in good shape, surprise you every day, they are smart and clearly express their thoughts. They are wonderful babies, they are your best friends.

In conclusion:

Help your wife more around the house - you will have a lot of arguments about household chores, so start now.
Attend all school events whenever possible - your presence is more important to the children than you think.
Leave some time for yourself - go cycling, take time for work projects, meet with friends. It’s easy to become a parent, so always remember who you are and what you love.

When it comes to raising a baby, the only thing you can be sure of is that he will cry and that he will need to change diapers. Any dad and mom can figure it out, it's much more difficult - everything else.

No matter how many books you read, visit parenting classes and watch videos, parenting is sure to be an unusual experience for you. Here's a list of things to know before your baby arrives.

You are on your own

The baby was born, you were visited by relatives and friends, all your acquaintances congratulated you on the appearance of the baby. After that, a few days pass, and you need to learn how to install the carrycot in the car. It doesn’t matter if you have kept children before or read parenting books. When you have your firstborn, you have to learn everything from your own experience. You cannot foresee everything in advance, life will certainly make adjustments to the plans. All of this can be scary enough, but you can handle it anyway. Just stick together, parents need to be supportive or parenting will be even more challenging.

Children love to sleep in their parents' bed.

It is possible that your baby will spend the first year of his life in the same bedroom as you. This is not always ideal, but it allows you to easily take your baby from the bassinet to bed if he is crying. As the child grows older, he will get out of his own bed himself and come to his parents. You are guaranteed to notice this in the middle of the night, because children often kick quite hard in their sleep.

It is very difficult to give up established habits.

If you start allowing your child to do something, it quickly becomes a habit. For example, if you allow your child to sleep in bed with you, it is convenient, but soon the child no longer wants to sleep separately. We can say that this helps to strengthen the relationship with the baby, but it will be quite difficult to wean him from such a habit. As a result, you will start to dream of a more spacious bed.

It doesn't matter if it's cold outside, baby doesn't freeze

In the training courses for parents-to-be, they teach that the child should always be put on a layer of clothes that is warmer than that of adults. However, once your toddler is old enough to speak up, you may find that he is not cold at all. Children often do not want to wear a hat or a warm jacket, not because of whims, but because they are really comfortable without warm clothes.

Children eat when they are hungry

Many in childhood were persuaded to eat spoon after spoon. Parents always think that they know better than the child how much he should eat. In fact, the kid will tell you for sure if he is hungry. If he doesn't know how to speak yet, he will still be able to show his displeasure. All children know when they are hungry, you just have to listen to their needs.

Not all kids love to share.

Many parents force their children to share, but it doesn't have to. If your little one takes something valuable with him to the playground, you can remind him that others also want to play, but nevertheless he has the right to refuse.

Potty training can be tricky

If you are interacting with other parents, they will probably wonder if your child uses the potty. Many people attach great importance to the abandonment of diapers and cannot imagine that it is possible to treat this issue lightly. In fact, children decide for themselves whether they are ready. Some are able to tell directly when they want to use the pot. The rest of the time, you can encourage the baby, read thematic books with him and support him in every possible way, but do not try to force the child. As a result, the process will be much more comfortable for all of you. There will certainly be occasional annoyances, but probably far less than you'd expect.

Holidays

If you are of different religious beliefs, you will constantly celebrate everything on a double scale. It is quite difficult. Gifts are especially difficult - you have to buy them for each holiday. It may even seem to you that you are pampering your child, because he associates every celebration only with gifts, nevertheless, this is probably not so - you just give the child warm emotions.

You will be constantly wasting money.

Even if you have many relatives who are able to help you and give you some baby items, you still have to make your own purchases. All of this will lead to ongoing costs. Children grow up quickly, so they constantly need something new, things are torn all the time. Expect purchases to happen more frequently than you are used to.

Choose the right nanny

This may seem obvious, but it can be tricky when looking for a nanny. You need someone you can trust so as not to worry every minute while you are not with your child. It is best to find a permanent nanny who will always come to you. In this case, you can occasionally spend the evening outside the house.

Your patience will constantly be tested.

If you have a hot temper, raising a child may not be an easy task for you. The child can also have a strong character, as a result, you will constantly get involved in arguments. Parents with angelic patience are best at coping with this situation. If you believe in the path of least resistance and are able to put yourself in the child's shoes, it will be much easier for you. However, you should understand that sometimes it is simply impossible to remain calm, and some behaviors, such as painting on the walls, are simply unacceptable. Such behavior should be firmly suppressed while maintaining calmness.

Children usually have a beloved parent.

In most cases, children prefer their mother. Even if both parents spend the same amount of time with the child and share the responsibilities equally, the baby may still have a favorite with whom he wants to be more. You should understand that this is completely normal - do not take it personally, even if your self-esteem is falling. You can still go through a lot with your child and give him vivid impressions.

Never Forget Safety

Sports are needed, the child learns to compete with others, to experience defeat, develops his social skills and just has a great time. Nevertheless, it should be understood that not all types of sports are of great importance. If a child learns to swim, this is really important. Avoid having fun and jumping into the pool if your child cannot swim, remember that safety always comes first.

Personal space will disappear

It is possible that you will not only lose free space in bed, but also notice that your whole house is dedicated only to children. You cannot hide from them. As the child grows, the number of his things increases. Walking barefoot around the apartment is dangerous because you can step on the toy. There may even be toys or books lying on the windowsill. However, sooner or later, the child masters the skill of cleaning and collects his things.

Sometimes denial doesn't work

If the child hears only refusals, he becomes too restrained and constrained. If you do not want this result, try to behave correctly. Do not refuse too harshly, let the child understand what he can do instead of what you forbid him. For example, when a child asks you for ice cream, you might say that you will eat it in the afternoon, rather than just forbid sweets.