Does he want to meet with me? Love divination “Deep psychological compatibility. signs that a woman does not have enough sex
Question to the psychologist:
Good afternoon! We met with a guy for 10 months, it all started very violently and passionately, for 4 months we decided to live together on his initiative. Everything was like in a fairy tale. But after a while, I began to show selfishness, restrict freedom, etc. There were stable quarrels over trifles - he wants to play the game instead of devoting an extra hour to me, he quarreled with or without. And all this with screams, tears and threats that I will go home. He endured and forgave everything, made concessions. I can't blame myself, but even if he offered a solution, I no longer listened. Always make up and move on.
But the last month has been full of such scandals and sleepless nights. He is a very calm person, he could not stand it any longer and started talking about how tired he was of being limited, always making concessions even to his own detriment and not getting a return. At stake we had a trip to Europe, which he also agreed to under pressure (I did not look for a compromise). I persuaded to go, unwind and then try again. Let's go and everything was unforgettably beautiful - his tenderness and attention knew no bounds. In the evening, upon arrival home, we bought groceries, started cleaning, and began to discuss our immediate plans.
But the next day, from the very morning, he was depressed and upset. I directly asked if he wants to continue to live together. He said that there were doubts that resentment had rolled over again, although he had already withdrawn and set aside the rent money. On the trip, everything was sincere according to his words and my feelings. But now it's hard for him to answer. He said that maybe just different people and that maybe everyone is better off starting over. Nevertheless, he asked me to leave the general photos for him, asked him to take his gifts. He said he couldn't promise me anything.
I have left. And we parted on a very strange note - he wants to be with me, and he is afraid of my tantrums. And there are feelings, but which are opposed by other, negative ones. Said it was something special, but not sure if I should continue.
Now we are not communicating, I suffer and suffer, but I hold on, I want to give time. I really want to see him, I miss literally every word and movement.
Is it worth taking the initiative and is there any hope for resuming relations from scratch?
The psychologist answers the question.
Hello Olga!
You yourself have already understood and realized a lot by analyzing your mistakes. You have made the right decisions, you are learning to compromise and not be a consumer in a relationship. You are doing the right thing not to call, now both you and he are going through some kind of purification and rethinking. This is an important and necessary period, you should not deliberately shorten it by arranging meetings, “urgent calls”, etc.
The fact that you are suffering is good, no matter how strange it may sound, but suffering makes it possible to understand the true value of a person in our life. When he is around, and we act thoughtlessly, it seems that he will not go anywhere, but when the situation is heating up and the relationship is on the verge, this is where true feelings are realized. But at this stage it is important not to go to the other extreme - dependence on a person. Love is freedom of choice, it does not tolerate restrictions, attachment to itself, ultimatums. All this comes from low self-esteem, self-doubt and self-worth. A woman in a relationship is called upon to be a source of inspiration for a man, to support his undertakings, to encourage his courtship and to give her love, free of charge, without expecting gratitude for this, but doing it out of inner need, necessity, because it doesn’t work out otherwise. Of course, scandals and constant claims that tend to accumulate and even with improved relationships give a background of anxiety and tension do not fit well into this picture.
It is important to understand and admit that you were wrong, that you did not act like a woman. Next, give yourself enough time to recover, do not worry, if the Man is yours, then he will return to you anyway, if not yours, then learn to be grateful for the experience and let go, do not hold on to the relationship and the man, it humiliates You as a person and trample on your feminine dignity. In addition, he also needs this time, do not step on the same rake, do not be selfish, give him as much time as he needs. After all, it will be much more pleasant for you if he himself understands your value to him and takes a step forward, rather than you yourself begin to offer yourself to him, justifying this with your experiences and the fact that you feel bad without him.
Use this time to your advantage, firstly, forgive yourself for such behavior (look for a lot of different ones on the Internet, choose the one that suits you the most), imagine and create the image of yourself that you want to be, think about what you need for this how you will achieve this, what you will do today. Engage in self-development, start studying what you have long wanted to, think about hobbies that would fill you up and bring joy. This is very important for a woman. Whether there is a relationship in her life or not, in the life of any woman there should be a place for creativity. No matter what it will be, it is important that you enjoy it and experience joy and happiness.
Your main task is to fill your life with meaning, to understand and realize who you want to become, how you see yourself by the age of 30, 40? Not abstractly, but understanding what a woman should be like, that she should know how to look, talk, walk, what to do, etc. Only when you are able to see the meaning in every day and know the path of your own development, only then will you be able to build a harmonious relationship with a man, without false expectations, requirements and other “shoulds”. It is important for you to become interesting to yourself, to be able to occupy yourself. In this case, even if your boyfriend is late or comes late, you can spend this time to good use, and not in throwing yourself from window to door, winding yourself up and having endless dialogues in your head.
Relationships in the style of "Italian passions" are good as short-term ones, you get tired of them over time, people create a family with the person with whom it will be good, calm, reliable, and sooner or later passion leaves any relationship giving way to deeper feelings, then and it turns out that there may not be feelings at all, or they could not form in a stream of endless quarrels and reconciliations. Therefore, in youth, we often confuse passion and attraction with love.
As for the relationship "from scratch", then of course, they will not be like that. They will be different, taking into account previous experience, with an awareness of the purpose of this relationship (in which both partners open up and exchange love of their own free will, and not under the coercion of one of them), they can rather be called relationships on a new level, on a higher level. than "relationships from scratch". In any case, initially you need to transform yourself, your worldview, reconsider your values and only then go into this or a completely new relationship with another man.
I wish you success in self-development! I believe in you and your strength!
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Hello Mona,
I am 25 years old and I met a 22 year old guy. I allowed myself to fall head over heels in love with him, even though he didn't open up to himself first. He is my best friend, buddy, soul mate, always ready to help no matter what I ask him. But the problem is, he keeps denying he's gay.
He moved in with me and we sleep together every night, hugging each other. And this despite the fact that I have to deny myself the desire for intimacy with him, seeing that he has a girlfriend. I would like to firmly settle in his heart. Probably, since I am everywhere in his life, he and his girlfriend quarreled. Of course she hates me. He wants to be with me, but he doesn't want to leave the closet. A large part of me would like to end this torment, but a large part of me loves him and wants to be with him always. How can you help me?
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Dear Romantic Neighbor +
Let's get to the point first: you've had a crush on your best friend and now you want to be lovers. +
You are openly gay, he is not. But... he still has a relationship with his girlfriend. Do you still want to pursue it? Ratio Mona says no. But I know the power of love, and that no one and nothing can decree it. Therefore, I perfectly understand your desire to cuddle with him as often as possible, at least in this way to satisfy the hunger of intimacy with your object of love. It's hard not to take a step when it seems like your love dreams are starting to come true. Now you're almost trapped as you're ready to take your relationship to the next level, but he's still in the closet. +
Your situation is not as hopeless as it seems. You cannot speed up and force your relationship, because he is still uncomfortable in such an advancement. On the other hand, he still determined the road map: he wants you, but he is not ready to fully admit it to himself. And while maintaining a relationship with a girlfriend, she also cannot give you 100% of her feelings. Looks tough enough for him. He tries to balance between two people and in addition struggles with the acceptance of his self-identity. +
He is at a crossroads in life. On the one hand, the experienced hetero-life, on the other hand, a new person (you) and these new feelings can lead him to an unknown, new world. And his girlfriend sees a gay man with whom her boyfriend is getting closer and closer. Naturally, there is reason to be sad. +
He asked for time to sort it out. You need to ask yourself how long are you willing to wait. Things can get even more difficult before things begin to clear up. +
Living with someone requires some effort on both sides. And life with a person in the stage of self-acceptance will add additional stress. If you are ready to endure it, then it would be good to upset your expectations, not to overestimate them. His head is in turmoil now, and it is not known how long it will be. At night, you can sleep hugging, and during the day he will be afraid to shake your hand. In addition, in the future, the drama of parting with a girl will await him. +
If you want to build a relationship with such a guy, then you need to turn off the fire of your heart, desire for a while. You need to be sensitive to his feelings and emotions. But at the same time, be open to him and enlighten him in the purpose of your expectations. You made a big step towards each other by moving in together (although it may be too early). But I am sure that you were not going and did not plan a big family of three, also with his girlfriend. If you want to be with him later, to behave in public as other gay couples do, then tell him about it. And make sure he doesn't mind it. Otherwise, if your thoughts and plans do not match, then he will continue to rush between two fires. +
In no case do not put forward an ultimatum to him, do not put before the choice "either I or she" and do not set the deadlines by which he should decide for himself, but at the same time let him know that this is your current situation should not become endless. It is in your power to support him, but it is not in your power to take a number of important steps for him (for example, breaking up with a girlfriend), only after which you can take your relationship to a new level. +
With love, +
Mona +
Hello dear readers! Women are not always easy to understand. Not everyone likes to advertise their own feelings and actively show sympathy for a young man. Some of us believe that this is the only way to win the guy we like. Men, in turn, are tormented by the question: “Does she even like me?”
Today we will talk about how to understand that a girl wants a relationship. I will tell you how she behaves at the same time, why she can be afraid and hide her own feelings, and also what a young man should do in an age when the phrase “Let's meet” remained only in the arsenal of schoolchildren, and even then not all.
What you really need to know about a woman
It is difficult to imagine a man who says the phrase: "Let's meet with me." Pairs are formed somehow spontaneously. People start, call up more often, spend time together at home, and after some period they come together or decide to get married.
So is there any point in trying to find out if a girl wants a relationship or not, when you can just deploy so-called hostilities around her? If she willingly makes contact, agrees to go to the cinema or restaurants with you, answers calls and even starts writing herself, then this means that she is not against this novel.
If you encounter various obstacles, for example, she finds excuses to once again refuse to walk together, and avoids meetings in every possible way, this means that.
There is nothing wrong with starting to show sympathy for a girl without even being sure that she likes you. I can recommend a book Marina Komissarova Love. Defrosting Secrets». In it you will find a lot of advice on creating a harmonious relationship with a woman whose feelings you are not sure.
Everything in life is scary to do only the first time. It does not matter whether this novel ends in a happy marriage or you spend several months of your life on them. After that, it will be much easier for you to communicate with the opposite sex, and will not cause horror. This experience will be very helpful.
A warning to men in love
If you experience some discomfort in communicating with a girl and want to protect yourself from rejection, then you can watch the woman a little and try to find out if she feels sympathy for you.
I must warn you right away that in this way you deprive yourself of some opportunities, because you can remember a thousand stories when a girl did not pay attention to a guy until he showed himself. Sometimes you need to go on several dates to make sure that you really like a man.
Feelings indicators
And yet, let's talk about, which, I remind you, do not necessarily give an absolute guarantee of feelings.
If you notice that a woman often looks at you, it means that she likes you and naturally, she wants to start an affair with you.
The girl is trying to show her strengths in your presence: she is beautiful, begins to communicate more with others, often jokes herself and laughs, if it happens at work, then she can begin to show initiative and excessive activity.
Some women choose radically opposite behavior. It all depends on her experience and the role she chooses for herself in the relationship. Perhaps she will try to look more modest, be silent more often, try to hide from your gaze, blush, or in some other way show embarrassment. You will think that she is afraid of you.
In any case, your presence (or appearance) does not go unnoticed. How to mark these changes? The woman you choose is unlikely to immediately identify your appearance every time. Watch her the moment you enter the room.
That's all for me. See you soon and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.
Due to their indecision and inability to pick up the signals that a girl gives, many guys, for sure, have lost several magical and exciting evenings in their lives. Perhaps you also suspect that a certain person has an unambiguous interest in you? How to check it? In this matter, you can not even doubt - many girls really love sex. It's just that not every one of them dares to say it directly for some reason of their own. Well, it is also important to note that if the partner does not bring physical pleasure to the girl, and she has to, for example, simulate orgasms, then there is a high probability that she will avoid intimacy with him. But, of course, this does not mean at all that she does not like sex.
How often do girls want sex
In general, it all depends on the degree of arousal of the girl and her temperament. Particularly temperamental persons are ready to make contact with their lover several times a day. In general, if a girl is not naturally too loving, unlike you, then you can solve this problem if you learn how to excite your partner. Some guys require regular sexual intercourse from their lovers, not taking into account the fact that temperaments may not match. If you really want to be with this girl, then you need to thoroughly study her addictions, and understand what can awaken her sexuality and what can excite her. Otherwise, misunderstanding and alienation may occur in the relationship.At what age do women want sex the most?
According to most scientists, the heyday of female sexuality begins at the age of thirty and until about forty. For many, this process takes longer - often it depends on the partner who is nearby. Although, of course, there are girls who are incredibly temperamental even at the age of twenty, but this is not a very common phenomenon. Often, after twenty, they are just beginning to learn all the advantages of an intimate life and understand what they like in sex and what they don’t. A clear awareness of this issue and the formation of addictions often still occur by the age of thirty or a little earlier.
Often a woman hints to a man that she is ready for intimacy with him, but he may simply not pick up these hints. Pay attention to the behavior of the interlocutor - it is quite possible that she is trying to signal you about her sexual interest. 1. She speaks openly about intimate topics. She is not embarrassed by your questions and reasoning on intimate topics. Moreover, she can initiate such conversations herself. Do not even doubt that this woman cares about you if she is open to you in such topics. It can be about her or your sexual experience, possible sexual fantasies and preferences, discussion of some frank episode in the film, and the like. If she is not particularly embarrassed when talking about such topics, and you clearly see that she is in a good mood, then this may actually mean that she is interested in you. 2. Dirty jokes and coquetry In the case of dirty jokes, it can be about both your words and hers. If you joke about intimate topics, then the girl reacts positively to this and supports the joke in every possible way. An even more verbose sign is if the interlocutor herself initiates such humor. She also, for sure, hints at your intimacy, if you pay attention to the fact that the girl is clearly flirting with you. In general, any intimate conversation, whether jocular or serious, implies that a woman likes you and considers you as a sexual partner. The exception may be cases when you know that the interlocutor behaves this way with almost everyone, and there is nothing behind her words - she just likes to discuss juicy topics or put people in an uncomfortable position. 3. Girl touches you However, the girl's sympathy can be understood without words - just pay attention to her gestures and the position of her hands. If a girl periodically strokes herself, for example, on her neck, on her leg, or on some other part of her body, then there is a very high probability that she is disposed towards closer communication. Also, a sign of rapprochement may be the moment when the interlocutor constantly touches her hair, winds curls around her finger, and the like. And yet, of course, there are exceptions. The interlocutor can pull her hair unconsciously, out of habit. pay attention, if a girl does this even when communicating with friends on neutral topics, then it is possible that this gesture does not mean anything special. In addition, many girls like to touch their hair immediately after a visit to the hairdresser, thus, as if getting used to changes in appearance (even if they are subtle to outsiders). 4. Looking for privacy with you She wants to be alone with you, and you notice it. How can it be expressed. If you went out onto the balcony or went into another room, being in a big company, and the girl followed you, then this clearly indicates that she wants to be alone with you with some ensuing consequences. You can also invite a girl on a date by inviting her to choose a place to hang out. If she likes a very intimate setting, then this may be an obvious hint of intimacy with you. An example is a quiet and cozy coffee shop, the last row of a cinema, a dinner at home. The last option is the most verbose. When inviting a man home or visiting him, a woman assumes that this can lead to an intimate relationship.
What to do if a girl really wants you right now
Weigh the pros and cons
Of course, most young people are flattered by the attention of other girls, and a rare male will refuse sex if a pretty lady offers to pass a few hours or a night together. And yet, no matter how flattering such an offer would be to you, it makes sense to weigh the pros and cons well. Perhaps, at the moment of a frank and tempting offer, you won’t even think that it brings you more negative consequences than positive ones, but still, it is important to remain prudent in any situation. Do you like the girl. So, for starters, it is important to determine whether this girl is really attractive to you and could you assume that she will become your life partner at least for some period? Why is this important? At least for the reason that very few girls go for intimacy, not expecting that it will result in something at least more or less serious. She may not admit it to you out of a sense of pride, but is it really so? What threatens you? If a potential sexual partner is actually not attractive to you, and subsequently you are not in the mood for an affair with her, then this can bring you a lot of unpleasant consequences. She will talk about your "dishonesty" to mutual acquaintances or your next girlfriend, begin to pursue you, express her disappointment and the like. Of course, if the girl is very proud, then such a development of events may not happen, but think carefully about whether you are ready to take risks. And in general, it is important to understand that your partner can be very impressionable and amorous, and even if she does not make claims against you, this does not mean at all that you will not hurt her. For many guys, this is already sufficient argument not to enter into a relationship that has no prospects. Your age. Of course, your age and the age of the girl with whom you plan to have an intimate relationship is of considerable importance. If this person is a minor, then with all the desire, it is better to abandon such a relationship. It is possible that the girl will not have any claims against you at all, but this does not mean that her relatives will be just as loyal if they find out that you had sexual contact. Keep in mind that later you can get not only a tarnished reputation, but an unrealistic criminal term. The argument that everything happened by mutual agreement will not be valid in this situation. Family status. You should take into account not only your own marital status - it is also important whether there are serious relationships in the life of a potential partner. As you probably understand, such a romance will not end well if you or your lover do not want to break the already existing family ties. Very rarely, betrayal goes unnoticed and has a negative impact on family life. In addition, you should determine for yourself whether your life partner deserves such an attitude, and whether you will be ashamed in front of her, your children (if any) and other relatives if the connection on the side is revealed. It is also important to remember that the reaction of the spouse or permanent partner of a possible mistress can be very unpredictable, and turn into very serious problems for you. All possible consequences. An intimate relationship can have many consequences, and it’s not a fact that you will like all of them. Let's look at some of the negative ones.- unwanted pregnancy. If you use contraceptives or your partner takes hormonal drugs, this still cannot be a 100% guarantee that pregnancy is excluded. Keep this in mind when deciding on a casual relationship. A statement to the police. If we are talking about a random partner for whom you have no further plans, then be prepared for the fact that an upset girl will report to the police that she was raped by you - for sure, you know that such cases are not at all uncommon. Especially at risk are guys who prefer rough sex. Family breakdown if you are married. Perhaps, detailed explanations are not even needed here. Even if the wife forgives you, this does not mean that she will forget about the betrayal - at the most unexpected moment for you, she may decide that she can no longer live with you after what happened. Even if she does not immediately find out about your misconduct, you will never have a guarantee that it will continue to be so.
How to gently refuse
If a girl hints at sex, which for some reason you do not want, then work hard to make your refusal sound gentle - for sure, in a similar situation, you would like a similar attitude. You can say that you are very worried, and therefore are not yet ready for intimacy with her. You can also say that you have not forgotten your past love, and it’s hard for you to readjust and the like. Do not undermine the girl's self-esteem, and voice an excuse that, as it were, says that the problem is no longer in her, but in you.8 signs that a woman is not getting enough sex
1) She suffers from insomnia. 2) She looks older than her years (skin is "tired" and dull). 3) Often suffers from various ailments, and therefore, is forced to take medication. 4) Very nervous, breaks down on others. 5) The skin of the face and body is prone to inflammation. 6) Distracted, it is difficult for her to focus her attention on one thing for a long time. 7) Unsure of herself. 8) Can look easily accessible - puts on provocative things, makes too bright makeup.
I'm 26 years old, he's 25, I feel so bad right now ... because of a breakup with a guy whom I don't understand and with whom there are no points of contact, everything is normal in sex, but this is not enough. But I need him, I want to be with him, but he doesn't want to be with me... we are too different
I'm selfish, I'm used to thinking only about myself and what concerns me. He's used to thinking about others so that they feel good. I like to shift responsibility to other people, he lives alone and is used to doing everything himself, unlike him, I am absolutely not independent.
I often lie or keep back to my relatives, on the contrary, he says everything right in the face, even if it’s unpleasant. He does not understand how this is possible. I am not striving for anything; my gray life suits me. He does not understand how it is possible to live without striving for anything.
I earn little. He earns 3 times more than me and wonders why I am not looking for a better paying job.
We went with him to relax for a week at sea - I threw tantrums at him, bringing out emotions - he calmly ignored my tantrums. We swore because of the little things, but there were so many of these little things that we eventually got tired of each other. We decided to part as friends.
We have nothing in common with him - tastes are different, hobbies too, everything is completely different.
He thought I would change, but I don't change...
I don’t know where to start, I can’t take it and change at once. I understand that he is right in telling me all this, in my heart I completely agree with him, but in reality I don’t. It hurts me to hear about my shortcomings.
I really want to be with him - but he has no feelings for me - I know ... This hurts me.
I'm used to the attention of men - what they do, what I want - but this does not work with him. He feels my game, the moments when I try to manipulate him - and cuts them off at the root. When I lie, he brings me to clean water.
I want to really want to be with him and I don't need anyone else.
But how? How to make him respect me, so that he has feelings for me?
Hello Ninel! let's see what's going on:
But I need him, I want to be with him, but he doesn't want to be with me...
why do you need it? What does he give you and the relationship with him? what are you experiencing? What do you feel? is he someone who can help you grow and take a mature position? because you don't want to do it yourself?
think about what kind of relationship were between you - as between a man and a woman, or as between a parent and a child? who were you? What is he tired of - FROM you or FROM relationships?
why doesn't he want to? what do you see? How does he see the relationship between you? how are you? you and he need to clearly see and hear - what exactly was NOT so in the relationship? who was waiting for what? what and who motivated? what does each of you see?
used to think only about myself and what concerns me
I like to shift responsibility to other people.
I often lie or keep back to my family
I earn little.
why do you write about yourself in contrast to him? Only in this way do you realize what is NOT enough for you? Then what's stopping you from growing up? learn to take responsibility for yourself and bear?
what's stopping you from telling the truth? what happens if you take a mature position? - yes, it will be difficult - but this is what distinguishes a mature person from a child - why do you NOT want to grow up? are you afraid? unsure of yourself? don't know what to do?
He thought I would change, but I don't change...
is that what he told you? those. in fact, he did not accept you - and waited for you to change? in the end, he got out of the relationship - he changed the situation for himself!
He feels my game, the moments when I try to manipulate him - and cuts them off at the root. When I lie, he brings me to clean water. he feels NOT the game - but IMMaturity and that is exactly what he does NOT support! it is for you as a hope to grow - only you can help yourself in this!!!
Ninel, if you really decide to figure out what is happening - feel free to contact me - call - I will be glad to help you!
Good answer 7 bad answer 1Hello Ninel! You are aware of your shortcomings and want to change - and this is the most important thing! Of course, changes cannot happen immediately, they will be gradual, but they will be necessary! The main thing is to really want it. First you need to accept your shortcomings, agree with them. Then start inventorying them. What exactly do you dislike about yourself? You can write down your shortcomings on paper and write next to each shortcoming how they interfere with your relationship. For example, lying prevents me from establishing trust, no one believes me, etc. This will help you understand what exactly you have to work with. The next question is - why am I lying - or doing this and that), what does this give me? Then you will know what you really want when you lie. For example, I want to be thought well of, or I am afraid that people will think badly of me. Then it will become clear why you are lying. And the third step - and how can I be sure that they think well of me without deceiving me. This work is not easy, but worth it. It is worth doing it, because it will give you a lot - the joy of real, sincere communication, without manipulation. Good luck to you!
Good answer 6 bad answer 1 
Ninel, is it "painful for you to hear about your shortcomings"? But you yourself write about them (if this is considered a disadvantage, for many the above is not a disadvantage at all) ...
"How to make him respect me, so that he has feelings for me?" - for starters, respect yourself, show your feelings to yourself!
"I want to really want to be with him and I don't need anyone else" - it's important to decide here ... You have no common ground, except in bed ... What do you need? For what? And so on...
Such questions are resolved internally with a psychologist (if you have already decided to figure it out).
Good answer 5 bad answer 2