How to find the love of your life? It's a great tragedy to meet the love of your life at the wrong time
Outline of the article:
Where to find love?
If you are lonely and yearn for warmth and tenderness, you may often have a question: "But where to look for it, the love of your life?" Some create the ideal image of a prince on a white horse or a brave pirate on a beautiful schooner, and wait, thinking that their ideal will find them. Moreover, their image is so vivid and real for themselves that the appearance of a candidate with any, the most minimal deviation from the canons of the image will be perceived by them as heresy, and immediately, with indignation, sweep aside. Ultimately, it is a dead end and an escape from reality, which can lead to loneliness to a ripe old age. You can draw an ideal for yourself, but try to adapt it to real life, because princes are not a dime a dozen in the world.The other extreme is an endless series of falling in love. Meeting each new person, this type of personality finds in him those ideal features that, as it seems to him, are capable of making life truly happy. And when, ultimately, a new object for adoration appears on the horizon, the old idol is immediately forgotten and ruthlessly discarded.
Many people fall in love with actors, singers, athletes and other celebrities. They become one of the many, part of the crowd of fans, besieging the unfortunate "star".
Firstly, people often fall in love not with a specific person, but with an image created by image makers, a celebrity and, quite often, by the person in love himself. There are very few cases when a relationship developed between a celebrity and a fan, as a natural continuation of any love and sympathy, are practically absent. Therefore, you should not succumb to the spell of art, because you do not know the person himself at all. The hero and "macho" on the screen can in fact turn out to be a coward and an infantile insignificance.
In order to find the person who really suits you, follow these recommendations:
- Try to look carefully around your immediate surroundings. A person with whom you have the opportunity to see often has a much better chance of becoming close (truly) person to you.
- Choose a person who is close to the circle of your interests, hobbies and hobbies. A partner with whom you can only talk about the weather and politics has little chance of becoming your one and only.
- Don't look in the direction of married guys or married girls., even if it is crystal clear to you that he (she) is unhappy in marriage, and you are the perfect match. Relationships can only be built after a person has divorced, overcame emotional attachment and became ready for a new relationship. Otherwise, you can associate his whole life with the process of parting with the former and the pangs of conscience, annoyance and other negative moments that accompany the breakup of two people. In the end, in order to get rid of subconscious discomfort, such a partner will part with you.
- Expand your horizons, social circle and interests. This will not only allow you to develop as a person, but also to find new acquaintances and friends who are able to find you attractive and please you. Boring conservative snobs are of little interest to anyone.
- Be careful with dating sites and social media sites. This is a fairly easy way to find a partner by assessing his external data and interests. However, as practice shows, the ease of such acquaintances corrupts people, deprives them of the value perception of relationships. Subconsciously, he will always believe that he has a bunch of potential partners in the store. The consequence of this will be a weak desire to compromise, give in, infringe on oneself in something for the good of the relationship. Partners will be attracted by the sea of potential opportunities, the desire to try something else and the question: “Isn't this a mistake? Is this the right woman? Maybe busty Irochka would be the best hostess and flexible wife? "
- Try not to choose your future spouses at work. Office romances are only good in films. In fact, such a relationship will harm both work and love alike. In a relationship, there should be a change of scenery, small natural "pauses" and the opportunity to take a break from each other. If you work for a day and then come home, you will inevitably touch on professional issues. The partner's face will be associated with work, and emotional fatigue can lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
True love and its quest
? It is a feeling of tenderness, affection, admiration and respect for the object of your feelings. Love is maternal, paternal, brotherly, and so on. Love between a man and a woman is something special. Therefore, it is important to timely and correctly determine what you are experiencing. It is rather difficult to single out the criteria for true love, since love and its manifestations will be different for each character and temperament. Traditionally, symbols of true love are considered to be the ability to sacrifice something valuable, happiness, life, career for the sake of a loved one. But these criteria are not always correct.Practice shows that ardent, passionate love with beautiful gestures, exalted and reckless actions is characteristic of bright, enthusiastic natures. Both partners enjoy their feelings, they are bursting with the desire to flaunt them. Often they demonstratively show their feelings, enthusiastically kissing in the presence of the general public, making vivid gestures and using “intimate” epithets and appeals even in front of strangers. Therefore, the more stormy and enchanting the romance proceeds, the more chances for a quick cooling of the partners' feelings and a break in relations. This is due to the fact that explosive and vivid emotions require constant novelty in the relationship. It is good when both partners are aware of this and are ready to work on it. Most often, love passions go through the brightest phase and safely fade away, freeing partners to search for new bright and thrilling sensations and emotions.
It's another matter when relationships arise slowly, unhurriedly, affection gradually acquires new sympathies and small strokes that bring people closer together. In this case, you will not see public displays of feelings, “intimacy for show”. In front of strangers, such a couple is restrained and even somewhat cold towards each other. There will be no ugly scenes of jealousy or exhilarating acts of passion for show. But such love will be manifested in the actions, care of loving people for each other. Ideally, by old age, such love, bypassing the stages of carnal attraction and falling in love, develops into a calm mutual respect for partners.
It's harder when true love is unrequited. Often, the lack of reciprocal feelings only inflames the lover even more and provokes him on a long road “to nowhere”. If you see that the object of your lust, despite all your efforts to awaken sympathy, remains cold, you should get rid of this feeling. There are many ways for this: moving, refusing to communicate with the object of love, searching for new partners and new interesting work. In the end, you will look back in amazement and wonder why this person made you feel so deeply.
Also, don't confuse true love with sex drive. You can be comfortable with the person in bed, they can be very attractive and sexy. You may even find interest in communicating with him between sex acts. But if there is no emotional depth in your relationship, if you simply satisfy physiological needs, partially compensating for the emotional emptiness and the need for intimacy, such a relationship should not be prolonged. Otherwise, they can turn into a bad habit, an emotional addiction, which will be very difficult to get rid of.
Relationships and love are a long process of building, working on oneself and a partner, concessions and compromises. Therefore, you should not build love only on external sympathies.
How to look for a soul mate after 30 years?
This is the age when it is worth thinking about permanent stable relationships, family and children. After all, if you delay for a long time with the birth of a child, it will be difficult for you to support him during your studies at the university and in general, you will be representatives of too different generations, which will create additional barriers to communication.What to look for when choosing a future partner and love all your life.
- Relationships are about constant movement and development. See if the object of your sympathy is capable of building and developing relationships, taking responsibility for them, planning a family and joint old age. If he has no desire to build your relationship with all seriousness, to work on his shortcomings, to yield to you, then it is best for you to part at the stage of easy falling in love in order to avoid emotional trauma in the future.
- Analyze if there is an emotional connection between you and if there are no misunderstandings. Can you directly state what you dislike and discuss it together while solving the problem.
- Try so that your loved one shares your life interests, can provide you with moral support in difficult times, serve as a support and support, and not a hindrance. If you record that your partner is busy organizing his affairs at your expense, constantly sacrifices your interests in the name of his own and demonstrates, albeit not explicitly, selfishness and self-love, run away from such a person that you can. He will not change or correct, no matter what you do or say.
- Note for yourself the person's tendency to nitpicking, the ability to forgive, extinguish conflict, and act as a “peacemaker,” even if the fault lies with him. This quality suggests that you are loved and valued by your relationship more than your empty ambition and desire to assert yourself.
Love search conspiracies
- An ancient pagan conspiracy to find love. This conspiracy is associated with the Slavic goddess of love of fertility Makosh. Go outside early before sunrise. Pick up two objects of different sizes. Turn towards the rising sun and concentrate your thoughts on the image of the person you would like to meet. Throw the larger object to the left and the smaller one to the right. At the same time say out loud: “Take this gift from me, O goddess of fertility, visible but intangible. What could have remained mine, I give you. For this I expect happiness, love, health and joy from you. May balance reign in the world for all. Thanks to you, Makosh! "
- Take a pear and three cherry wood chips. Halve the pear and say aloud: "The whole fell apart, so I sit, alone." Then stick the chips into the pear and fasten the halves together. Say: "How different parts have joined into one whole, so I will find my narrowed one." Wrap the pear in a piece of linen and hide by any fruit tree. It .
How to find a loved one at 10 years old?
The very first falls in love occur at an early age. Our parents are moved when, having come from the kindergarten, we proudly declare that "we love Masha." At school, our falling in love becomes more meaningful. We can already formulate what exactly we like about a person. We carry girls' portfolios, go to the movies with them, secretly kiss and brag to these friends.All these points are extremely important for a child. At this time, he learns to properly build relationships, look after and love, take care, take responsibility for himself and for the one he sympathizes with. These crushings are rarely protracted. In most cases, they remain light and touching sadness for life.
Love and be loved!
Can't find your love in any way? Is it all wrong? 3 real tips from a psychologist to help you find your happiness soon! Take action!
Asking the question “ How to find love"You will never get an answer to it.
Because love is not mushrooms, it cannot be found in the forest.
Yes, even on the street or in a big city, you will not find it.
You can only meet your love once.
And even if this meeting is fleeting or far from romantic, you will immediately feel it.
Indeed, in most cases, love comes only once in a lifetime.
This is the only time the main thing is not to miss your happiness, but to see, grab and never let go!
A Success Diary will help you find your love and will give some practical advice on how to do it (take my word for it!) 🙂
What is love?
Before embarking on a search for love and a soul mate, let's talk about what this love is?
V recent times modern youth passes off anything for love ..
But it's not right!
Love is not dirty orgies, not sado-maso, or even buying a brand new car for a pretty fool.
Love is a special state of mind that pushes us to great achievements for the sake of another person.
For the sake of love, we are ready to change ourselves, and even revise the once important principles.
In ancient times, for the sake of loved ones, they captured cities, performed great feats and changed the world.
If you think you have found love, answer the question: what are you willing to do for the sake of your loved one?
Then sit and be silent in a rag.
You don’t love anyone, and you may have never even loved anyone!
However, do not despair, and one day a truck with bananas will turn over on your street!
How to find love. Let's start searching
Before, how to find your love, you must open your heart and be ready to meet with the chosen one (or the chosen one).
You should also get rid of the past that is pulling you back.
Otherwise, even if you find love, it will quickly slip away from you.
Now get ready, in order to find your love, you need to do just 3 simple steps:
- Ask the universe about it -
- Believe in love
- Take the first step towards her
Let's talk about each point in more detail.
Step 1. Asking the universe for love
When you reach the end of your life, the only thing that will matter is the love you have given and received. On your journey to the next world, the only thing you can take with you is love. The only valuable thing that you will leave in this world is love. Nothing more. I have known people who easily endured many difficulties in their lives and were happy, but have not yet met a person who could endure a life without love. This is why love is the greatest gift in life. It gives meaning to life. It is thanks to her that it is worth living.
Adam J. Jackson
Many psychologists give trivial and stupid advice: be confident, take care of yourself, go in for sports, etc.
But tell me, are there really few lonely, but successful, beautiful and athletic people in this world?
Yes, there are millions of them!
People listen to advice, take care of themselves, go to the gym, but do not change in their souls.
They still remain closed and arrogant whiners who do not know what they want from life.
So if you really want to, but don't know, how to find love, just stop and ask the universe for it.
Ask sincerely, heartily, and let go of the thought.
Thoughts are material and very soon your desire will come true.
Step 2. Beginning to believe in love
Let me tell you a secret: love comes only to those who really believe in it!
Get rid of low self-esteem, start loving yourself and then faith in love will come to you much faster.
Accept one simple truth: no one will ever love you if you do not love yourself.
Therefore, learn to love yourself, praise yourself for various little things and never scold yourself for minor offenses.
When you love yourself, then you will understand that you are worthy of love. And she will not keep herself waiting!
Step 3. Take a step towards finding love
This will probably be the most difficult step.
V in this case faith in love will also come to your aid.
In order to find love, you should not sit idly by and wait for the weather by the sea.
Also, do not evaluate all candidates as if they were in a qualifying competition.
This will only scare off your potential soul mate.
Therefore, if a nice young man approached you in a cafe and offered to treat you to a cappuccino, you should not think that his only desire is to get under your skirt!
What if he really liked you?
In turn, with your rude behavior, you can alienate the young man, which you will bitterly regret later.
The same goes for men.
If in the gym a girl asks for help to raise dumbbells for her or change position on the simulator, take this as a sign and do not be rude to the young lady! 🙂
Also, don't be afraid to walk alone, don't push people away, and don't be rude.
Even if when meeting you are confused, shaking with excitement or do not know what to say - just smile and give out a banal "hello".
And there maybe your new friend will take over the situation.
Do not be lazy and be sure to watch this video
with the famous psychologist Alexander Sviyash,
which gives helpful hints:
how can you find love and be happy!
As you can see find your love pretty simple.
The main thing is not to lose faith and open your heart towards this wonderful feeling ...
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In contact with
classmates
Why uncomfortable? Because sometimes it's embarrassing to admit it even to myself ...
1. He forces you to admit your flaws (which you would rather ignore).
You don’t like to admit that you’re constantly forgetting everything, or that you’re impatient, but it’s true, and when you meet the person you’re most likely to be with, he reveals these shortcomings in you in a way that helps you accept them. He helps you to work on them, and in this way you become better.
2. He makes you realize that sometimes it's okay to be NOT okay.
If a person does not run away from you, even when you are at your worst manifestation, then he really loves you and will not go anywhere. You can be sad, anxious, angry, depressed, but he is not trying to solve your problems - he is just there. And you don't have to pretend to be good between you. He doesn't make you perfect. He is there, even when you are not perfect, and he helps you to realize that you are not supposed to be, that you will never be, and this is normal. He loves you imperfect.
3. Both of you are a little scared.
Both of you are afraid that what is beautiful between you may end. You are afraid, but it does not stop you, and you continue to fight to make sure it doesn't end. After all, when both of you are afraid, it means that you really have something to take care of.
4. When you convince yourself that he will leave and he will not.
He always lets you know about his love. And he lets you know that he will not go anywhere. Even when you find it difficult to believe him, his actions dispel all your doubts, and you have no choice but to just believe.
He makes you realize that the reason why he remains is because he loves you and everything in you, even that which you do not love in yourself.
5. You argue, but always with respect.
Your relationship is not always rosy. You, too, quarrel, you too are annoyed by something in each other, but you never act or say anything disrespectful.
6. You motivate each other.
You doubt a lot of things, you do not want to leave your comfort zone, but in a relationship you will motivate each other to do it. You will motivate each other to raise the bar you set for yourself and always try to be better. Because you are together.
7. Each of you has an independence that you enjoy.
You love each other - no doubt about that - but that doesn't mean that your world revolves only around your relationship. Both of you have your own life, hobbies, interests, and places to go without necessarily going together.
And that's okay. You are part of his world, he is part of yours. But you both understand that you don't have to be together all the time, and rightly so.
8. You miss him when he is not around.
Although you are able to be apart, you still miss each other. You are happy to return home, because you know that he is waiting for you there.
9. You find compromises.
You learn to make concessions on things that are not very important to you, because this person is important to you. You do not agree to less, but you are ready to compromise on issues that are clearly more important for your chosen one. And when you understand that if it were not for him, you would not have done it, then you have found your man.
When you're surrounded by happy couples, it's very easy to feel lonely if you haven't found a soul mate yet. In such a situation, a person often begins to think that something is wrong with him. But this is just ridiculous. You just haven't met your man yet.
But some thoughts and habits in communication with the opposite sex can play a cruel joke with us. Here are five tips to help you find the love of your life.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparison breeds suffering. You need to understand that each person is unique. Each has its own story of life and love. Comparing yourself to a friend who has a happy family doesn't lead to anything good. Each has its own problems, which are not always visible from the outside. You have to accept that you are alone, but not consider yourself a failure. This is the only way to stay happy. There are pluses to be found in solitude too. You can do what you want, when you want. You can cultivate yourself and live in anticipation of the moment when relationships will appear in your life. Appreciate this.
2. Stop thinking that something is wrong with you.
If you constantly think about your loneliness and lament: “What is wrong with me ?!”, then you definitely will not meet your soul mate. In this way, you knock yourself out of the right frame of mind.
Do you really think that all those who are happy in relationships have no flaws? Thinking about what is wrong with you may miss your love. In most cases, our flaws are only in our imaginations. Love yourself, and then someone else will love you.
3. Chat with the people who really need you.
We often meet the wrong people. Loners like this are just looking for someone to fill the void. Realizing that this is not the person we need, we still continue to communicate with him. This is the wrong tactic. Beware of people in need. Instead, pay attention to those who genuinely want to communicate with you. Excluding people from your circle of friends who just want to make up for the lack of communication at your expense will help make room for the one you are waiting for.
4. Beware of casual connections
The opinion that a person must constantly play some roles in order to attract attention to himself is wrong. Yes, you can look mysterious and even seductive this way. But in this case, it will not work to build a strong relationship. If you try your best to attract attention, then only thrill-seekers will reach out to you. It is better to remain yourself, allow others to consider themselves from the outside.
5. A fictitious ideal won't always be a perfect partner.
This practice is quite common: a girl or a young man writes down the qualities that they would like to see in their soul mate. However, the presence of all these characteristics in a person does not always make him an ideal partner in life.
Therefore, instead of the color of hair, eyes, the desired profession of a spouse or joint travel, pay attention to spiritual qualities: support, understanding, benevolence. These are the qualities that will help develop relationships.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with being lonely. Only a positive attitude will help to attract the right person into your life.
Getting to know each other is much more difficult today. Feels more pressure to look attractive and desirable. We try to present ourselves as the best potential partner who has only the most correct and good qualities. We all play this game in one way or another. We unobtrusively try to highlight our best features in order to hide what we find less attractive in ourselves.
But over time, this approach to dating makes you feel like a used car salesman. In fact, we are deceiving ourselves and deep down we know it. We know we don't always reveal who we really are. But it ends in pain. After showing an emasculated version of yourself, and accepting the same ideal version of another person, in the end everything will end in global disappointment and loss.
In addition, the constant feeling that you need to show yourself ideal is tiring. But the truth is, we are fooling ourselves if we think we have to live up to someone else's expectations. And we deceive ourselves if we think it will help us find love.
This is part of a person's beauty - his flaws and imperfections. The irony is that often what we want to hide from others is the source of our uniqueness, what makes us individual.
So what happens if, instead of hiding our identity, we take the mask off and just be real with each other?
What if we dare to be vulnerable, to be honest about who we are and what we want?
Being vulnerable means that we are willing to risk being ourselves. We no longer want to try to control what is beyond our control: how others see us, how much they want us. We no longer want to try to convince someone of something.
Being vulnerable is incredibly scary: you feel naked and unprotected. But this is where true intimacy is born. This is where the magic happens, this is where the real chemistry of feelings is created. When we are protected by complexes and stereotypes, it interferes with our natural spontaneity and the flow of emotions - and we simply cannot reach true feelings.
We all secretly or not very secretly suffer for real intimacy, for all barriers and walls to collapse. But at the same time, this is one of our greatest fears. The funny thing is, we think our fear protects us, but in fact it keeps us from doing what we want most.
If we are ready to give up this fear and admit it, if we are ready to realize that we are afraid, then we can move on. It is almost paradoxical, but usually, as soon as we move away from our fears and complexes, we immediately attract healthier relationships into our lives, relationships that are built on trust and mutual respect, rather than jealousy and self-reflection.
We can only give what we have. Therefore, when we give ourselves the freedom to be ourselves, we automatically give this freedom to others. Then we can coexist in relationships that allow us to be ourselves, to be imperfect, to change.
When we give up fear, when we are comfortable with being ourselves, then we become the right person. We are usually too busy to look for such a person for ourselves. But when we ourselves become such a necessary person, we will attract such a person into our life. As they say, we attract people like ourselves.
Now we can more easily meet our person, because we are no longer afraid. When there is no fear, we meet as if we have nothing to lose, because there really is nothing. The only loss is trying to deceive yourself in order to meet the expectations of others. If we are only concerned with impressing someone, just to prove that we are better, then we are definitely not going to meet the right person.
This is why when we meet a person who is not trying to convince us of their attractiveness, it is actually very attractive. Such people exude natural self-confidence, not feigned arrogance. Those who are comfortable in their own skin are not afraid to show themselves to the real world - and we love such people. We love them because they remind us of who we really are.
And it's a huge relief to meet someone who is just who they are. Someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously. This generates a certain sense of trust - we too can finally be human, imperfect, and this is finally not a problem. If someone like us like that - it's good, if not - it's also good.
As the American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "being yourself in a world where they are constantly trying to make you someone else is the greatest achievement." Because when we have the courage to show ourselves to the world, then we become an individual.
So in the end, the only way to find true love is to be completely yourself.