How to make a husband respect his wife, appreciate and love: advice from a psychologist, a conspiracy. Home dad: how to teach a man to love his children

24.06.2019

"If a man is not in order to solve my problems, take care of me and improve my life, then why do I need a man?" women).

This is a very important question in understanding the nature of the relationship between a man and a woman and creating a happy family.

I'll start with myself. While I was expecting that my husband, since he loves me gotta take care of me and providing this and that, I was not really happy. No matter how much a man gave me, somewhere in the depths a bark beetle of doubts gnawed at my soul: "I deserve more ... Did I choose the right man ..." I lacked understanding, then attention, then gifts, then interest in my development, then the ambition of my husband and money, then affection ... Almost always something was missing... And when there was time to think about it, internal discontent only grew like grass in spring. I consoled myself that everything is fine, and there are no perfect marriages. But the gluttonous bark beetle of dissatisfaction still gnawed and gnawed somewhere deep inside ...

I would not be a happy woman today, and I would not become a good female coach, if over time I didn’t grow up internally and understood: “It's not about my husband. I don't know how to love. " And she began to study.
And one of my important gains is the realization: "The husband is not a means to achieve my goals and desires. He does not owe me anything."

And here the very question arises: "And what is a man for a woman?"

A woman, like a man, is a creature pair. You can't be a woman without a man. A woman without a man turns into a person. This may be a very good person, but no longer a woman. And if we were born as a Woman, it is very important to reveal our feminine nature.
Not without difficulty, but I understood: a woman needs a man to learn to love, learn to be a woman... To love a man, to love yourself.

Now I was not looking at my husband from a position "He must", and from the position "I'm learning to love him." I focused not on my expectations of "he should", but on his personality, on his strengths. To my happiness, there were plenty of them. Every day my man opened up to me, as matryoshka dolls open one after another. I learned to see his positive qualities, which I either did not notice or took for granted. I stopped reshaping my husband to fit my desires and realized that love does not give me the right to use a man in my own interests. My unmet expectations: "I deserve more ... he could have shown more ambition and effort ..." imperceptibly dissolved like sugar in tea. My husband, unexpectedly for me, began to turn his best side to me and show more and more love and care. I woke up and fell asleep happy because I was focused on love and filled with it.
I blossomed. And if earlier my thoughts were about what I was missing and inner discontent darkened my life. Now I was worried about questions "how can I love a man more", "what are the virtues of my husband"... I began to grow Love within myself, as a flower is grown from a small seed. I asked myself: "Has the flower of my Love grown today?" And I was glad when love overwhelmed me. Love came every day, like water in a river after snow melts. I wanted to share it because I was overwhelmed. In practice, I understood what it is Love from abundance... I used to want love because I was in short supply. I experienced dependence, like a drug addict, I suffered without receiving the necessary dose of love and attention from my husband. Over time, I learned to receive happiness and love not at the expense of a man, but by revealing him inside. I felt how nice it is to be self-sufficient, not to depend on the love of a man, but at the same time to love and be loved. The taste and pleasure of Love was revealed to me. I enjoyed this state. I liked myself. I was pleased with myself.

And then, unexpectedly, I received a PRIZE.
My true Feminine essence was released. I saw MYSELF IN A NEW LIGHT. Opened to me a beautiful woman- pacified, self-confident, filled with energy, vitality, joy.
I felt gorgeous, harmonious A woman who loves and is loved, who wants to share. I became happy to the ends of my hair, and the bark beetle of doubt, which gnawed at my soul for so long, somehow imperceptibly left my life.

Now I can answer the important question which is the foundation of a happy relationship"What is a man for a woman?"
To break through in love with a man to myself, your Feminine essence, to become a Woman.

This year we celebrated 33 years of our life together. "Marriages are made in heaven." I am grateful to God that there is such a wonderful Man next to me. And I am grateful to the Husband for Love.

Nowadays, divorces are quite common. Moreover, a few years ago, the statistics were completely disappointing: about 50% of couples parted. Many different reasons are to blame for this state of affairs, including the lack of respect between people. We will talk about this in this article. What interests us most is the question of how to make a husband respect his wife. The answer is below.

What does respect mean?

Respect implies that a person's opinion is listened to, he is appreciated in all the diversity of existence: they are attentive to desires, needs, tastes and needs.

It must be said right away that you cannot ask the question: "How to make a husband respect his wife?" This is an incorrect, fundamentally incorrect formulation. Respect can only be earned; it cannot be gained by force.

Why is there a problem of disrespect?

In general, when people have already reached the registry office, it is a little late to think and analyze relationships. The fact is that they have already taken shape, which means that a man and a woman built them at the very least. The white dress and the shouts of "bitter" inevitably, like a hangover after a party, is followed by the usual marital routine.

In her space, 80% of the time of all married couples passes. People get tired at work, become inattentive to each other, and it seems that they stop respecting each other. Spouses perceive each other as instrumental: the husband's wife as "a badly or well-earning machine", and the husband's wife - as a "food processor". Indeed, it is just right to ask oneself the question: "How to make a husband respect his wife?" Let us analyze in detail the possible solutions of this, to be sure, difficult task.

Female illusion number one: "He's going to change."

Now lovely ladies will protest and say that people are changing, etc., that their friends had real cases (friends will always have proof of anything).

All this concerns us, because it is very important to understand when a husband began to treat a woman without due respect. If it was still during the candy-bouquet period, then there is nothing left but to congratulate the woman, because her husband, in principle, never respected her. This means that now it is pointless to ask how to make a husband respect his wife, because it was necessary to look much earlier whom she chooses as her life companions.

By the way, that's why the divorce rate is so high. People see their sight, and do not want to prolong their suffering, and part. The psychologist here can only advise one (if he is honest): run without looking back. Then it will only get worse: assault and other "joys" of an average marriage.

If alienation between people came along with the marital routine. What to do?

But sometimes it also happens that people deteriorate over the course of their lives and become cold and indifferent. And of course, a woman in despair asks herself: "How to make a husband respect and appreciate his wife ?!"

First, don't panic.

Secondly, you should analyze the current situation and answer two questions:

What happened?
What has become?

Simply put, you need to understand why it was so good before, but now it is so bad. It is necessary to compare the situations before marriage and after, to isolate the reasons and deal with their elimination.

For example, a girl asks herself the question: "How to make her husband love and respect his wife?" In the course of that simple operation, which we described a little above, the wife understands: she is not sinless.

The woman began to treat her husband as a consumer, as AB Pugacheva sang: “Instead of affection, you hear barking. Just give her money. " If so, then the woman needs to be more attentive to her husband and try to somehow correct the situation. The problem is that such women do not see any flaw in themselves. To summarize, we can say this: you need to inspect your everyday life and identify weak points in it, then try to eliminate them as much as you can.

Conversation can solve almost any problem.

In addition to the previous point: a woman should not single-handedly analyze and eliminate the problems of life together. I would not like to scare anyone, but marriage is a common cause. And if there are problems, then they need to be solved together.

In this case, conversation is an indispensable tool. Simply put, it is worth discussing the current state of affairs with those who are directly interested in this. Unfortunately, most people are not used to talking to each other about their problems. It seems to them that this is a sign of decline and loss of love. But this is not the case. Love is work. Feelings will not last long on an automatic move and will soon disappear.

Summing up the section, we can say the following. Of course, a soul-mate can try to solve a problem under the general title "How to make a husband respect his wife." Psychologist's advice can be very diverse, depending on the situation, but they all boil down, in essence, to one thing: people should talk to each other and discuss their problems.

By the way, for many Russian and foreign couples, a substantive conversation about the crisis in family relations is a serious undertaking, because they are even ready to pay a psychologist to conduct family counseling with them. And only in a session, in the presence of a third person, people can express certain claims to each other.

When everything is good, but there is no warmth anyway

If you have tried all the previous methods in good faith, but the situation has changed little, then there is especially nothing to console you. Perhaps the love has passed, and there is hardly anything you can do about it. Before that, the article turned out to be somewhat abstract.

It may seem a little strange to some that, when answering the question of how to make a husband respect his wife, psychology can only offer conversations and conversations as a solution. But, unfortunately, this is the case. We are not looking for easy ways here and do not seek to deceive the reader, our task is to honestly answer the request.

And, nevertheless, we will try to give some specific recommendations.

Husband's respect for his wife disappears in several main cases:

When the wife “goes down,” that is, ceases to take care of himself, grows ugly fat. In short, a lot of things can happen, but the result is the same: she ceases to be attractive to her husband. The consequences are sad: sexual interest disappears, then respect, then love. How to be? Take care of yourself, play sports and regain your husband's affection.
The wife does not work, but at the same time gives a variety of valuable instructions on how the husband should work, how to live, and so on. It is more difficult here than with physical defects, since this is a problem of the psychological type of a woman. Such ladies consider themselves perfect and take for granted a good and even servile attitude. The solution here is one: get a job and show her husband that a woman is an independent, independent person. We guarantee: if this is the problem, respect will return.
Sawing. The third specific reason for losing respect is the constant claims that sometimes arise from scratch. We will not go into details here, the reader probably understands what is at stake. This group of reasons is the most complex. The phenomenon of "sawing" stems from a general dissatisfaction with life in a woman. How to deal with this? It's hard to say. There are two ways: either talk a lot with your husband, or often consult a specialist. In this case, you do not need to take your husband to visit a psychologist, because these are the woman's personal problems.

Can fortune tellers help solve the problem?

You need to understand a simple thing: fortune-tellers are the same psychologists, only they also have a selfish moment. Their main task is to convince the client that he is deeply unhappy, and only a psychic has the keys to a better life.

When asked how to get a husband to respect his wife, conspiracy should not be seen as a possible solution. Because turning to fortune-tellers reinforces the vicious practice, according to which, a person is always looking for the guilty, although in search of reasons he should rather look into himself or analyze general problems of relationships. Only very lazy and extremely uneducated people can believe that psychics and fortune-tellers are able to make their life better with the wave of a magic wand.

We hope that our reader will have enough education and intelligence to take advantage of what the science of psychology offers, namely, to explore their relationships, analyze the situation and constantly discuss emerging problems with a life partner. Believe me, there is simply no better solution.

The feeling of love is so individual and intimate that it seems as if our heart does not need anyone's advice at all on how to love a man correctly. You just need to love, as you can, as you feel. And yet I would like to focus the attention of readers on the subtleties that exist in the relationship between a man and a woman.

The feeling of love inspires, gives incredible emotions, a sea of joy. But why does it sometimes happen differently, and happiness turns into tragedies, family troubles, exhausting quarrels that bring mental pain? They say that advice is easy to give, it is difficult to follow them, especially if they relate to the field of relations between men and women. Otherwise, there would be incomparably more people who are happy and contented with life. However, even dozens of sensible and wise advice is unlikely to bring the desired results, if you do not pass them through yourself, do not get imbued with them, do not harmonize them with the inner "I".

If in unconscious thinking there is a low assessment of a man, you do not feel respect for him, then any attempts to become the right spouse for him will not lead to harmonious relationships and will not give a feeling of happiness.

Advice should be aimed at helping a woman, first of all, to understand herself, to identify the existing shortcomings and complexes, to fully understand the female essence and perception of men. However, we must not forget that the relationship, of course, depends on the internal state of each of the partners, the feeling of comfort or, conversely, discomfort.

The desire of a man to be near a woman and to do the maximum possible for her, for the family is due to how much he feels like a man, being close to his soul mate. This state of a man depends on how his partner positions herself. Only when she feels like a wise woman, she sees a man in her partner. But we are responsible for what is going on inside us, and we take care of our deep state, our mood only ourselves.

In this regard, one should first think about us, women, and then take apart the second half of humanity to the bones and delve into the topic of why and how they love and what psychologists mean by the phrase: how to love a man correctly.

So, the 12 main rules of a wise woman

1. Relationship with a man should not be transformed into continuous responsibilities, you can not deprive yourself of the elements of joy.

Having taken on a huge amount of work with overtime, and then all the household chores and everyday problems, a woman cannot feel happy in such a marathon. Regular fatigue, constant lack of sleep cause energy depletion. And in such a state, it is a priori impossible to have either a good mood or joy. As a result, negativity spills out on loved ones, in particular, on a man.

2. Be sure to listen to yourself and your desires.

Often, many women go out of their way to please, to help their household members, not paying attention to their own person at all. When it is joyful and satisfying, energizing, great! But such actions often produce a different result: caring for others is exhausting and tiring. There is only one recipe in this case - to remember and take care of yourself. How can I do this? To begin with, take off some of the responsibilities, redistributing them among all family members. The second step is to learn to refuse, saying a resolute "no", and also to define the boundaries of personal space both in the real and in the inner world.

3. Do not be obsessive in love, do not burden your partner with it, but do not demand constant attention and care from a man.

A woman should be wise, having an inner world filled with calmness, balance, harmony. The settled fear of being unnecessary, of being lonely, the rejection of life without the presence of a man will play with you. In addition to your will, you will complicate, worsen relationships, and therefore spoil your own being.

The formula for correct love for a man is based on partnership. You cannot get lost, lose yourself in a relationship, trying to become inseparable from your partner, encroaching on his personal space, and on his own too. Any woman needs, like air, to have her own interesting life. You should not sacrifice your favorite hobbies, refuse communication, distance yourself from friends, focusing exclusively on a man, as the most important object in life, forgetting about everything in the world and about yourself, in particular.

4. Learn to take care of your inner state and experience the pleasure of doing homework.

For example, if you are working on preparing food, then tune in so that this procedure brings you joy, and not a duty aimed at bungling something, and the family does not go hungry.

It is imperative that you learn to experience pleasant emotions from any work that you do. Be sure to carve out some time for yourself in the morning to sit down with a cup of morning coffee or tea, savoring which to set yourself up positively for the day ahead.

5. Don't hold a grudge. Correct communication is a whole science, by owning it, a person becomes successful.

Relationship with a man is no exception. Therefore, you need to learn this wisdom. Of course, it is very difficult to restrain your emotions when you are offended, insulted, upset.

You need to strive so that your inner world is always normal, you cannot accumulate and hide grievances, past pain in it. They need to be dealt with in time and released. It is also necessary to get rid of snares, they so often interfere with rejoicing and enjoying life. If you are able to free yourself from them, you will gain the ability to control yourself and your words.

When a woman is offended, she is in pain, she tries to get rid of these painful sensations, clinging to the living and delivering pain to the man. And he makes an irreparable mistake, since further mutual understanding becomes impossible. Correct communication with a man will be your message about your feelings. You should say, "I'm terribly angry," "I'm furious," or "I feel hurt." After that, you should definitely explain the reason for this condition and offer a way out that is acceptable to you. This approach preserves the manhood of your half, while accusations against him always have a negative impact on the man and lead to a more serious aggravation of relations and mutual grievances. You should defend your point of view, your interests, desires peacefully and correctly.

6. In a conversation with a man, be sure to control your facial expressions and intonation in your voice.

In addition to verbal communication, there is also a meaningful language of facial expressions and gestures. Sometimes he is so eloquent that he can communicate much more than phrases, and convey to a partner that real attitude towards him that is hidden deep inside you. Often, we cannot even imagine what is hidden inside us and that these deep feelings are far from always positive.

The bottom line is that you are deluded into thinking that you are building your relationship with a certain man. In fact, you build them based on the attitudes that are learned in the family where you grew up. They are absorbed from the mother, formed on the basis of how she treated her spouse, and in general towards men.

7. In dealing with a man, maximum openness is assumed without omissions and hints of feelings, desires, since men do not understand women's innuendo.

Often complexes do not allow a woman to ask for something. She is convinced that a man is obliged to guess about her aspirations and desires. But confident and wise women do not speak in roundabout ways, but directly state their desires, and they do the right thing, because even the Gospel says: "Ask, and it will be given to you ..."

But the requests must be sincere. And you should always be ready to refuse, but at the same time do not allow yourself to gnaw doubts about the possibility of not fulfilling your request. And have patience, you need to educate him in yourself, because you cannot count on agility from a man in fulfilling your desire. Each individual digests information differently. One will need a couple of days to comprehend and implement your request, the other will have to wait for the result for several months.

Therefore, they expressed their request - and immediately forgot. But if this is extremely important for you, then you can draw up your desire on a sheet of paper and attach it in a conspicuous place. This will be a kind of reminder.

Women who are confident in themselves practically do not allow the possibility of refusal, but nevertheless, if they are faced with such a circumstance, then they are not too upset about this. In any case, they do not regard this case in such a way that they are not loved. Sincere requests addressed to a man make him feel needed, and, therefore, give confidence and strengthen the man's condition.

8. The ability to be grateful, the ability to sincerely express gratitude and enjoy the correct actions of a man, and not focus on shortcomings - this is another principle that explains how to love a man correctly.

Living together under one roof often leads to the fact that a man begins to be considered by his partner as her property, everything that he does is taken for granted. As a result, such important words as "thank you" or "thank you" drop out of the lexicon. But even if they are pronounced, they often become simply on duty, and should sound sincere, from the bottom of their hearts.

How simple we thank other people for any service, sometimes unfamiliar, and so we are stingy with words of gratitude for our man.

9. Do not paint negatively on the mother and girlfriends of your man, creating a negative image.

First of all, in this case you yourself do not appear in the best possible way, because it was your choice. The other side of the coin: you form a negative characterization of your partner, set your loved ones against him. Therefore, if a crack appears in your relationship with a man, you are unlikely to find the necessary support if you wish not to lose it. Most likely, you will be convinced of the opposite, claiming that he is not worth you, he is not your match. So there is no need to wash dirty linen in public.

10. Find out the language of love that your partner understands.

For example, your efforts to bring perfect order to the apartment will not be perceived by your spouse as you expected. It’s important for him that you cook his favorite meal for dinner, but you didn’t because you were cleaning and he feels unnecessary. Conversely, the other will not pay attention to the new tasty dish, but will notice that you did not wash his shirt.

It is impossible, and it is not necessary to be perfect in everything; it is quite enough to understand for yourself what your partner feels your care and love in especially acutely. This is the wisdom of a woman.

11. Respect is a must in a good relationship, so respect your man.

This feeling, in contrast to emotional closeness, is based on actual successes and achievements. They can be in any area and do not have to be reduced to the material aspect. Each person has some traits for which he can be respected. It can be kindness, neatness, practicality, and much more. But the main thing is that the woman should see them and appreciate them. From this it is clear that respect for a partner is expressed in not violating his personal space and fulfilling his desires.

It should be noted that men react very sensitively to pressure; in the event of an onslaught and pressure, their reaction is stubbornness. Therefore, a wise woman will never press, press on a partner. Why, if your desires can be formulated and expressed respectfully and correctly, leaving the choice to the man.

12. And the last of the 12 rules of a wise woman says: cast aside all doubts and believe in your beloved man, in his talent, in his abilities.

To believe means to discern in a person his potentialities. If you cannot find any talent or simply do not believe that a man is capable of realizing himself, then it is better not to associate your fate with him, he is simply not yours. And you didn’t see his talents just because your visual acuity is different.

And now I will summarize and answer the question why a woman is obliged to take care, first of all, of herself. The answer lies on the surface: yes, because a man is very sensitive to the mood and state of a woman, although in practice he tries not to show it.

Almost everything that a man does, he does for a woman, for his family. And his desire to see his soul mate in a joyful and happy state becomes quite understandable. If a woman is constantly depressed, tired and nervous, then this is transformed into information: "I am a bad husband", "She is unhappy with me." And it is unlikely that anyone will take pleasure in feeling incapable of making the woman he loves happy.

And how often women make an unforgivable mistake, demonstratively showing their dissatisfaction and naively believing that this will make a man think and change his behavior. As a result, they get a completely different effect: the spouse withdraws into himself.

Hence the conclusion follows that in search of a recipe for solving the problem - how to love a man correctly, a woman is simply obliged to pay attention not only to her appearance, but also to deal with her inner world. Only by living in harmony with yourself, you can create a harmonious relationship with a man.

If you want to get the help of a qualified psychologist in working on yourself, contact us. You can find contact details on the website.

I invite you to also attend a free webinar. Here you will learn a lot about yourself, your potential and your energy.

With love,

Irina Gavrilova Dempsey

Family relationships are, unfortunately, not only mutual understanding and love. These are also quarrels, scandals, resentments, disappointments. In general, anything can happen. So what can you do? How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? Psychological advice will help you understand this situation. After all, let such a situation take its course in no case.

Every woman is, of course, unpleasant to hear insults in her address. Naturally, there is a desire to offend in response, or even to permanently stop communication with this person. The situation is completely different, when humiliation and insults come from your own spouse. First, his words hurt much more. After all, he knows perfectly well how and where to "hit" you with a word in order to touch and hook you more precisely. Secondly, leaving and not returning is much more difficult. You are still bound by the bonds of marriage, children, friends and relatives, common living space, financial dependence. Thinking about what to do in this situation, a woman, as a rule, begins to rush from side to side. But he cannot decide on a certain rational action. This can last for years. But this is simply unbearable. You need to figure out how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. Psychologists' advice in this case will be very useful. First of all, you need to decide not "what to do", but "what will happen if you do something, but wrong."

What is the reason?

So let's go! How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? The advice of psychologists may be different, but all experts, as one, say that it is necessary to identify the essence of what is happening, the reason for this behavior.

In most cases, women believe that the reason lies in themselves. Either they didn’t have time, then they didn’t, or they didn’t please. Either they are "bad mothers", then "bad cooks", then "unkind wives." In fact, this is not at all the case. These are just reasons for the spouse to find fault and throw out his negativity. The real reason lies in the fact that the husband is sadistic in this pair on purpose. He takes pleasure in humiliating the weak. It is impossible to confuse a sadist with any other person. We are all, of course, human. Everyone can sometimes swear and be rude. However, in the case of the sadist, things are quite different. His insults are saturated with terrifying filth. The vocabulary contains expressions designed not only to call a person, but to offend, hurt, humiliate.

The main thing is to act!

As soon as you start thinking about how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect, the advice of psychologists will be your best assistant. In principle, it is impossible to change such a spouse either by persuasion, or by means of conspiracies, or by means of coding, or by means of hypnosis, and even more subservience to him will not help. Accordingly, it makes no sense to expect that everything will form and improve by itself. That is, you need to start taking action. It is not the husband who needs to be changed. You need to look for protection for yourself and your children.

Fatal mistake

Not every woman thinks about how to teach her husband a lesson for disrespect. The fact is that the fairer sex is used to adapting to different situations. To adversity in life as well. In addition, our women, due to the peculiarities of the mentality, are much more patient than elsewhere. It is not surprising that they are so simply and easily ready to accept humiliation and insults from a man, slowly getting used to them. And this, of course, is their fatal mistake.

Insulting and humiliating his wife, throwing nasty things at her, the husband inflicts a painful blow on her psyche. Even if she endures all this, it will not do anything good. But the worst thing is that each time these attacks "take a course upward." If initially it was the only rude word, then over time there will be a dozen of them. And then blows may follow. As a result, a woman cannot realize herself in life, hobbies, work, feel joy and love. She can only wait for the next attacks every day.

Hitting children

But most of all, our children suffer from such violence. Unfortunately, among many women there is such an opinion that for a child, the presence of absolutely any father is very important - even a tyrant and despot, even a name-calling and humiliating one, even an alcoholic, if only he was. Women console themselves with the fact that he is still his own father. Moreover, they are sure of this if the men do not touch the kids. They put up with anything for marriage and financial help.

Naturally, this is a huge delusion. For the child, the mother is always the person who provides him with protection. If they yell at her and hurt her, it means that the baby loses the feeling of security. Accordingly, gets stressed. And this is fraught with negative consequences. Some children begin to steal and lie, others fear death, and still others torture animals.

People rarely associate problems with a child on the one hand and humiliation from a husband on the other. And in vain. The connection is the most direct. Therefore, a woman who wants to keep peace in her family must definitely figure out how to teach her husband a lesson in case of disrespect. There are many tips. The main thing is to choose exactly what you need. Stop at the best option.

The most negative outcome

The worst consequences can be expected if your children have a sound vector. The ears of such children are hypersensitive. That is, they generally need quiet sounds and calmness. If the father yells at the mother, and even throws derogatory words, such a child not only loses a sense of security, like other children - he also receives a powerful blow to the most sensitive zone. Hearing terrible screams, he can gradually lose touch with the outside world, withdraw into himself. This sometimes even leads to autism or schizophrenia.

In general, a woman, especially if she is a mother, needs to take care of her family. Take the necessary actions that could help in the current situation. In short, to do everything so that the husband respects and appreciates his wife.

Excessive focus

So the next step. You figured out the reasons, made conclusions. Now you need to decide how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. There are several ways in psychology. The main thing is to define the task correctly. If you still love your husband, you should not make him suffer. This task lies in the fact that he could realize his guilt, understand what mistake he made, and what pain he caused.

Start paying undue attention to it. Most likely, it will not be easy at all. However, it's worth a try. Give compliments, pleasant surprises, and have romantic dinners. What for? Looking at your efforts, the spouse will be able to understand that he was really wrong, that you are the very thing that no one will ever care about him the way you do. Realizing all this, he will begin to suffer from remorse, to repent in the depths of his soul. And self-flagellation, as you know, is the best punishment. If your spouse only offended you a little, do just that.

Inattention

The next way. How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? An effective method, the opposite of the above, is inattention on your part. If your husband does not see how you are trying to please him, forgets about important dates, of course, this is very offensive. However, you shouldn't shout and swear. Just be quiet. He will definitely remember everything he forgot about.

Let's say your husband has promised to be back for dinner. He himself, without warning, goes with friends to a cafe or bar. Do the same in retaliation. Let him feel in your place.

Has your spouse stopped thanking you for the food you cooked? Considers fried potatoes common? Stop cooking for him at all. Leave several times without breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Constantly talking about the fact that you are doing nothing while sitting at home? Why put up with slander? Sit down at your computer or sit in front of the TV. Don't really do anything. Let him know how it feels.

Do you want to teach your husband a lesson for the fact that he claims that you are “on vacation” on maternity leave? Leave it for the whole day with your baby. Well, for yourself, arrange a day of shopping with your friends or visit the spa. It is unlikely that after that he will be able to say that caring for a child is simple and easy.

In case of betrayal

Probably, in this way one of the most terrible troubles manifests itself when the husband does not respect his wife. What to do in this case? Someone cannot forgive a spouse and just part with him. But many loving women, who cannot imagine their life without insidious traitors, are not ready to take this step.

The easiest way is to declare a boycott. Stop washing and ironing his things, cooking, helping in something. In general, completely ignore your husband. Communicate with him only in case of emergency. Do not forget that this method is rather risky. With this attitude, the spouse can simply go to another woman. However, think: do you need such a husband at all?

One of the most difficult ways to punish a believer is indifference. Pretend that his betrayal is completely indifferent to you. Surely he expects scandals, screams, tantrums from you. And you will behave as if nothing happened. Joke between times from time to time over the fact of his betrayal. In this case, he will certainly begin to torment him with remorse. He will ask you for forgiveness and try to justify himself. Any man will be shocked by such a reaction. Thoughts will appear in your head that you have stopped loving him, that you need to somehow atone for your guilt. According to many psychologists, this will serve as a great lesson for the future for your spouse.

In case of drunkenness

Another big problem. Why does the husband not respect his wife, bringing her to nervous breakdowns with his daily drinking and partying? Perhaps unable to handle this addiction? Or maybe he doesn't even try, doing it out of pure egoism or, even worse, to spite his wife?

What to do? To begin with, take into account absolutely all the consequences that his drunkenness affects. If this happens regularly, ruining your plans, he needs to be sure to teach a good lesson.

It is best to expose your husband in the most impartial way. Show him how stupid he looks when he gets drunk. Unleash your imagination by choosing your punishment. You can cover his fingernails with bright varnish, and hide the nail polish remover away. Give only when he asks for your forgiveness. You can draw a mustache with a waterproof marker, or write an indecent word on your forehead. You can paint on your lips. Or you can even cut the clothes in which he came to ask in the morning where he was worn.

Outcomes

Let's summarize. How to teach a husband to respect his wife? Just love yourself. And respect yourself. Do not let your spouse be rude to you, offend, cheat or beat you. But if this happens, first of all, be sure to teach a lesson. Perhaps this was the first and only time ... And do not forget to talk frankly with your husband after that. Try to find out what drove him in a given situation. Who knows if it might make you look at the situation with different eyes?

All it takes to have love is to be love.
Love does not require conditions.
This experience is absolute and perfect.

Let's take a closer look at the question of how to develop self-love.

What is often confused with this concept

This concept has nothing to do with narcissism!

True self love Is a natural and humble feeling of yourself that you accept in yourself.

There is no tension or effort in it.

With this feeling you:

you are in harmony with yourself;
you walk around the world easily;
you feel confident in any situation;
respect everything you do and what you say.

It feels so down to earth and natural.

Let's figure out where to start in order to love yourself completely and completely. Let's take a look at all 19 methods.

1. Realize that no one and nothing external will complement you, you are already self-sufficient

2. Accept yourself completely

Accept yourself for who you are

Love yourself in any manifestation and expression, in any verbal and non-verbal expression.

Love all the mistakes you've made in the past.
This is important because people often judge themselves, hate themselves, and despise things that have been done in the past.
At that moment in time and with that knowledge, that action was the most correct for you... Realize that you have done those actions in the past that led to mistakes, because you thought at that moment that they would be the most correct for you.
Of course, then you admit the mistake, but you love yourself with these mistakes and accept them.
Thanks to your mistakes, you are where you are now.
They made you stronger and stronger. Implement this knowledge and no longer worry about how to learn to love and respect yourself.

When you no longer associate the word “acceptance” with weakness, you begin to live with ease and calmness never seen before.

Accept all your shortcomings and love yourself with them: there is what is

Mantra for all occasions: “There is what is. And that's okay. "

Example. I screwed up in front of people yesterday, couldn't give a talk and didn't prepare.

There is what is, and that's okay.

Use this phrase as practical advice on how to love yourself and stop self-flagellation.

Where there is a fine line that many people forget about:

This does not mean that you have now come to terms with the fact that you are a dull and boring creature and now you are always lying on the couch and doing nothing! No.
You still strive to be the best version of yourself.
You just don't judge yourself for your shortcomings.

3. You don't need a reason to love yourself.

You are self-sufficient and must love yourself for no reason.

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, then love will not be complete and complete, and doubts and reasons for the opposite immediately appear in your head. You don't need a reason.

As soon as you start thinking: “I love myself because ...”, there are immediately reasons not to love myself!

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, you find reasons to doubt!

You love yourself, period. Without any reasons.

You are already self-sufficient and there is no reason for the opposite.

Thanks to this realization, you will know everything about how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman or a man.

4. Stop putting people on pedestals and realize that everyone is equal

There is no one who is better or worse than you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and undermining your self-esteem.

Otherwise, you will find yourself in an endless race with yourself and you will never solve your questions about how to love yourself and be a self-confident person.

Get out of the influence of social programming. Be aware of the fact.

Make a choice and allow yourself to be equal with everyone and experience inner lightness.

5. Never compare yourself to others.

Comparing oneself with others always evokes a feeling of lack of self-sufficiency and self-condemnation.

Never chase others or strive to be who you are not!

Example... You look at your neighbor, how he is successfully living and how his business is thriving, you compare it with your state of affairs, and you upset yourself and feel overwhelmed by this comparison.

Comparing oneself to others gets in the way of self-acceptance.

You cannot be who you are not. You won't be able to live someone else's life. No matter how hard you try, you'll be able to be a cheaper, dull version of the person you're chasing!

The best thing you can do is be yourself.

Don't try to be who you are not. Don't try to be like everyone else.

Be yourself and go beyond your capabilities, expand your comfort zone.

It often happens that unconscious girls compare themselves to each other. And as a consequence, then they always compete with someone. It's like an endless wheel of suffering and chase.

With this type of thinking, women's questions about how to love themselves and increase self-esteem in the psychology of perception will forever remain open.

With whom can you compare yourself?

The only person you have to compare yourself to is it's you!

For example, what you were yesterday and what you are today.

A fine line. Try to compare yourself with yourself NOT with regards to the results achieved, but with regards to the new knowledge and understandings received.

Ask yourself these questions daily:

In what ways have I become wiser than yesterday and what have I learned new?
What lessons have I learned since today?
Am I out of my comfort zone today?

Only such a comparison with oneself has a place to be.

If the answer is no, then you remind yourself what to work on and where to strive.

6. Respect your body and your mind

Consider the sixth advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself.

Respecting your body and mind means that you love yourself as a spiritual person, able to think and be aware, and you love and look after your healthy body.

Respecting your body means living a healthy lifestyle.

How to respect your body:

Do not use alcohol, cigarettes and other harmful substances. You must love your body, and love for it is expressed by the fact that you do not stuff it with harmful snuff, alcohol, inhalation and do not undermine its health.
Develop your body, go to the gym. Feel the pain of muscle growth when you realize that the muscles are using their full potential and you are using them correctly. It's fine.
These feelings of developing the muscles of the body and eating the right food give you more confidence and lightness in the body. Appreciate your body for this.

People get drunk and live their lives this way, because they hate themselves and know nothing about how to learn to love and value themselves.

Respect your mind and consciousness, do not stuff it with false information

What it means and how it should be implemented:

You don't have to watch all the trash on TV.
You need to think positively, have clear and distinct thoughts. Have pure thoughts. And then you will close your questions about.
You remove all negative thoughts that only interfere with progress.
You need to develop your mind, explore new concepts, ideas, topics, look for the best solutions.
Let your mind rest.
Meditate. You can read more about that.
Show him that you respect him.

The introduction of these principles will be one of the main trump cards, closing the question of how to start loving yourself.

7. Take away the negative grumpy granny who judges other people and yourself

Why Stop Judging Others and Yourself

This will also be the main advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself for a woman after 50 or an older man.

But, alas, this bad habit is also found among the younger generation.

An example of how judging others limits you

For example, a man sings songs on the street with an accordion.
And you and your friend walk through and start throwing mud at him: "Here Chaliapin is found, there is no voice, there is nothing to do, but he is in the circus," etc.
The time comes when you have to perform in front of people on the street and sing a song. But you start to shake, you are tense and confidence is lost somewhere.
It is this grumpy grandmother who, condemning others, limits you in actions.
Never judge anyone. Both yourself and others.

The only thing you can blame yourself for:

Have I done my best?
Have I done everything I could to get better?

8. If you do not like something, then do not have to endure, act

You can verbally tell the person that you do not like it, or with facial expressions and gestures you can show that you do not approve of it.

From childhood, your mother taught you to endure difficult situations and allow them to be.

It was the same at school. No need to endure!

These are not necessarily words; they can also be actions that suppress what you do not like.

Example: A man smokes in the car. And you do not tolerate cigarette smoke and have never smoked. You immediately look for solutions to an unpleasant situation for you and say it out loud.

I suggest that the person get out of the car and smoke on the sidelines.
I'm talking about the fact that I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I'm allergic.
I am saying that we will not be able to communicate with him until he stops smoking.

Implement this psychological technique and it will become easier to love yourself.

The more you solve unpleasant situations for you, the more love and respect for yourself will appear.

9. Have personal boundaries: what you accept in people and what you don't

Why it is important to have personal boundaries:

Example.

I don't like it when a person sits on my neck.
I don't like gossips, liars and hypocrites.
Etc.

Also write your preferences that you value and respect in people.

This way you will know what you want. You will know clear answers to questions from psychology about how to love and respect yourself.

10. When you reach your goals, encourage yourself in every possible way: for example, buy yourself sweets.

If you have set a goal for yourself and realized it, please yourself with pleasant things.

How does it help you further:

Thus, unconsciously, you fix in your head that achieving goals is twice as pleasant and delicious.
More energy appears for the realization of the goal.
Buying something for yourself, rewarding yourself for the result - emphasizes it, arouses natural love for yourself for the efforts and efforts.

For example, I like to buy myself sweets: chocolates, cake. Anyone who likes it. It's always nice.

Implement this and you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself.

11. Don't whine and don't let the whiners cry into your vest

You are not a sponge or a vest to cry into! Make it clear to everyone around you.

When you yourself whine next to people about life and about people, you are simply showing them that they can do the same to you.

Whining does not solve the problem in any way!

The whiner does not want to love, you want to love a strong personality!

How to Stop Whiners:

If the person next to you whines and complains about life, on people, pours out his soul and cries, ask him: "How are you going to solve your problem?"
If he continues to whine, then he is not going to decide anything.... This means that a person just wants to feel needed for you, pour out his soul to you, feel your empathy.
Ask yourself, "Why do you need such people?"... No doubt get rid of the whiners, and you will already feel how you began to love yourself more for it.
Take the whiners out of your social circle, and there will be a strong and healthy ecosystem of emotions around you and only strong personalities are near. No whiner will pull you down.

12. You yourself create all situations: take responsibility for yourself and your actions

How to learn it with a piece of paper and a pen

Put this powerful psychology trick on learning to love yourself into practice.

An example of a situation where a man had a fight with a man on the street

How the person brought the situation to this:

I myself behaved too aggressively and emotionally.
I myself called and provoked the man.
I could just leave at any moment.
I was looking for my own adventure.
I pushed the man first.
I myself attracted the negativity that I have accumulated for a long time.

13. Know your strengths and unique values, write them down and remember them

Know exactly what value there is in you, what attractive characteristics and qualities.

If you do not know this, you will not be able to develop self-love and it will be more difficult when dealing with people.

For example, it's great if while communicating with people, you, without even straining, bring such things as:

Whoever you are you already have value, if only because you are unique.

Write down your unique qualities in writing and remember them. This will help you deal with worrying thoughts about how to learn to love yourself as a woman or a man.

Answer the following questions in writing:

Why is your personality attractive?
What are your hobbies, interests, hobbies?
What sensations do you give to people who are in your environment without trying or putting in effort?
How deeply can you express your interesting personality when interacting with other people?
How independent are you on your own and how free are you on the inside?

Values differ from person to person. As your personality develops, your values can change.

Video on how to improve objective self-esteem

14. Trust yourself and your intentions more, act according to your desires

Say what you want.
If what you are doing comes from good intentions, trust them, do and realize them!
Whatever your desires and intentions, act according to them.

Do not be afraid to appear as someone who others do not want to see you! Because this is your life and you live for yourself, and not for others!

The more you trust yourself and act according to your desires, the more you live the life you want.

Examples of how people limit themselves in life because of someone else's opinion:

Some people do not want to fully express themselves and their personality because they are afraid of offending other people.
Someone does not want to dance because they are afraid to experience disapproval looks on themselves or bring smiles on the faces of others.

You can read an article on how to ignore someone else's opinion and get rid of shyness.

15. Be more interested in yourself, do self-analysis, strive to be your best

How to learn to love yourself and be a self-confident person

Stick to these principles, and you will no longer worry about how to learn to love life and yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions:

What are your passions in this life?
What excites and delights you?
What kind of humor do you like?
What kind of music do you like?

16. Set yourself a big goal that will excite and prevent you from falling asleep, and realize it.

Set yourself a goal that will excite you and keep you awake.!
Live this dream and make it a reality every day.
The more you set a goal for yourself, the more energy you have in your body. in order to realize it and make it a reality.
If the goal is low and petty, then there will be so much energy..
Thus, on the way to a big goal, you will live an interesting life., there will be self-respect and the feeling that you are growing and not standing still.

Remember the importance of the goal and you will close your questions about how to learn to love yourself and become an interesting person.

17. It's important to love other people: don't try to change them

It is important to love and accept people as they are.

Realize these principles, reread them sometimes, and don't worry about loving yourself and others too.

18. You don't need to be a super-ideal person.

Our society, mass media and television inspire perfectionism and the desire to be super ideal and correct.

Supposedly you should have an ideal body, education.

In fact, no one wants to be perfect and correct!

Replace this desire with the desire to fully accept and love yourself in any manifestation and expression.

People want to be themselves.

Allow yourself and other people to be who they are.

Thus, you will know everything about how to accept yourself and love.

19. Don't forget to respect ourselves and just look neat

It is enough to live up to your idea of what is normal

You don't have to have super expensive clothes to be in pretentious cool places.

To do this, it is enough to look in accordance with your idea of what is normal.

Well, it is desirable, of course, to find out in advance about the requirements of the institution and comply with them. If there are no special requirements, then there is no need to correspond to anything.

It is very foolish to advise a person to always think positively.... This is tantamount to holding in your head and forcibly clinging to some thoughts.
Any condition is temporary and unstable.... All people change their state and there is no point in making a person depend on the state and constantly chase after it.
This does not mean that now you can be a nasty, evil grandmother.... No.
You need to love yourself no matter what state you are in.... Be congruent with yourself and love yourself in every way.

This concludes all the tips. Now you know everything about how to love yourself correctly and correctly interpret this concept.

Words of wisdom

Love is the absence of separation and boundaries between people. This is when you are dissolved and see yourself in every person.

Loving all people is much more wonderful than loving yourself or your partner alone.