A married man and a free woman: the psychology of relationships. A sense of self-importance gets in your way. And it helps. Why married men have mistresses

11.05.2019

I consider myself one of those women about whom they say: I can cook, I have a fur coat, my head does not hurt. I love men, I can’t help myself. Even, more precisely, men sometimes delight me. There are simply amazing people in every sense.

Among other things, my personal attitude to the format of communication between a man and a woman can be described in one phrase: WELL, FOR DIVERSITY! I am for an individual approach in each pair. In general, any person is responsible for his life above all, and has the right to choose his own UNIQUE way to be happy. Therefore, I am not a prude.

So that's it. Different people often write to me in a personal message on different occasions. In some accounts, where there is a minimum of personal information, sometimes I receive messages from men whose status is "married". These men offer to meet, in the words of one of them, "for passion." The passion and promiscuity of married men is a separate topic. Here I want to say about my attitude towards married men.

Married men don't turn me on personally. And the point is not in some social stereotypes and moral principles from the series "do not take someone else's." The point here is precisely in sexuality, or rather in the sexual energy of a man. Sexual energy is also called creative energy. It is not just that there is such a phenomenon as sublimation, when unspent sexual energy is expressed in creative success and scientific achievements. Sexual energy is the engine that allows us to live in abundance, to be socially successful, to be young and healthy.

A married man directs his sexual energy to his wife, children and family. As mentioned earlier, it is natural for a man to take care of a woman. Even if the family does not have satisfactory sex with his wife, a married man still directs his energy towards his wife: he earns money for the family, makes sure that the notorious nails are hammered in the house. And, of course, there is still sex in the family. Oftentimes, married men simply do not have enough emotion in a relationship. This symptom, by the way, also speaks of some kind of imbalance in emotions and exchanges.

Therefore, a married man belongs to another woman. I call it "captured by someone else's vagina." And now imagine. A man who gives most of his attention, time, energy, vitality to his wife is offering "passion" to the other woman. What is the meaning of such a meeting for this woman? The answer is obvious. If you do not take non-standard situations, when this "other woman" has her own life crises and she needs any attention from a man, in any volume. it becomes clear that a married man, in principle, cannot be of interest to a free woman. After all, we all strive for harmony in relationships and are looking for a suitable match for ourselves. The third is always superfluous.

Many women are interested in the question of why men have mistresses. Especially when nothing initially overshadowed the marriage union, there was sincere, true love. But somewhere she cracked and everything went awry.

In general, if we consider the psychology of a married man, then in the presence of real and sincere feelings for a woman, he naturally will not even think about his mistress. A beloved woman for him will always come first, because she is called beloved, that there are no others.

The only problem is that not everyone understands what true love is. If we consider the meaning of this word, then it means a disinterested, selfless interest in another person. The desire to be his support, support, to share with him all the sorrows, troubles, and not just happy moments. Ability to brighten up gray everyday life and develop together.

And when there was no trace of love, then over time a new hobby may appear. Brighter, more interesting, exciting, in the form of a relationship with a mistress.

This is especially the case when the initial relationship preceding marriage was based solely on sexual interest, attraction, love.

These relationships start out passionately, but passion fades over time, emotions fade, weaken, and ultimately dull. Nothing causes emotional excitement, awe, and in order to feel it all again, married men find relationships on the side. but this is not the only reason.

There is another equally significant one - disappointment and a desire to get away from problems. This is especially the case when a man idealizes a woman, endows her with the desired qualities or does not notice shortcomings. But they still show up over time. And then there is a natural desire to find an outlet.

A relationship with a mistress for a married man is a kind of escape from problems. The desire to revive dead emotions, to get new impressions. Especially if nothing pleases in family life.

But the relationship with his mistress is inherently light, not tinged with family problems, there is no need to be held accountable. In addition to the fact that he sees his mistress most often in a good mood, she is always well-groomed, beautiful. Here the very image of a woman is pleasant, light, carefree, then there is a desire to have a good time with her and often continue the relationship in the same light and format.

As a result, we can conclude that in a relationship on the side, a married man is looking for something that he does not find in the family and finds in the character of a mistress. She can bind him with exactly what he lacks.

How to become the best lover of a married man psychology

In principle, women who want to become the mistress of a married man must be prepared for the fact that the role of a mistress is not enviable and not permanent. Especially if a married man has something to lose, and he has a lot that connects him with his wife - money, property, children.
But on the other hand, if a woman can give more or become more important to him, then there is a likelihood of continuing the relationship.
What does it take to become the best lover of a married man psychology
Find out all his strengths and weaknesses. But this is not necessary for manipulation, if a man notices that he is being manipulated, then there is a high probability that he will end the relationship. Having learned his strengths and weaknesses, it is easier to become more significant in his life. And accordingly, show that he also means a lot in your life.
Next comes the ability to give, just do not confuse it with the ability to please. It is just out of place here. The ability to give is meant here psychologically. After all, every man wants to see that he is needed, appreciated, understood. And the extent to which you give him understanding, attention, mental strength, so much it will return to you in the form of attachment.
It is equally important to always be in good shape. This also applies to good health, and a well-groomed appearance and slimness of the figure and beauty of clothing. It is necessary to make sure that after meeting you, the man has only the best memories, and the more there are, the more he will again be drawn to you.
Create an atmosphere of celebration and relaxation for him. After all, if he is drawn to such a relationship, then he is tired of the gray everyday life and routine and he wants new impressions, which he does not get in the family.
Better find out about his life, interests, dreams, and what he lacks. If possible, become a like-minded person for him, a faithful friend, with whom he can share what worries him. One of the rules of psychology says that we like those who understand us, support, share our thoughts. We usually get attached to such people very quickly.

Married lover of a married man psychology

More complex and confusing option. This usually happens when a man and a woman have children, a family, a job, but they lack something in family life. Everything is perceived as familiar, not interesting and boring. And then you want new impressions and emotions.

These relationships can develop in unpredictable ways. They can either burst at any moment or continue indefinitely. Since this form of relationship is convenient in that there is no need to bear responsibility, delve into and solve problems on the side.

Meetings take place at a convenient time, there is no obligation. There is more freedom, however, illusory freedom. Since they will not be able to fully reveal their relationships in front of others and have to hide them.

The younger a man and a woman are, the easier it is for them to have such a relationship and the easier it is to hide. But the older they get, constant secrets, fear of not learning about the relationship, can turn into a neurosis, and a headache.

Psychology of married men in a relationship with a mistress

But if we talk about the psychology of married men in relation to mistresses, then often the attitude towards them is not serious. After all, relationships were built on easy communication without obligations, where the main goal was to have a good time, to have fun. But sooner or later they will end, which will immediately affect the relationship.

It costs him nothing to end a relationship with a woman with whom he has nothing to do. Passion ends, emotions are dulled, and if there is still no attachment, then nothing is easy for a man to leave a woman. Many men part with women easily.

True, there is also a type of men who easily and for a long time become attached. But these are usually soft men, with a vivid imagination and a subtle mental organization, who perceive the world emotionally. But most women call such men weak.

And to reach out to the strong, sometimes perceiving the rudeness and rigidity of character as for masculinity and strength. Naively believing that with her he will not be the same as with others. With her, he will be a gentle kitten. Only such men are more guided by the male instinct, and his task is, no matter how banal it sounds, in fertilization.

The emotional perception of love is alien to them, this perception is reduced exclusively to instincts and entertainment. But on the other hand, women are still drawn to brutal men.

As a result, we can conclude that a man who is not endowed with subtle perception, emotionality, gentleness, sincerity will easily find mistresses, abandon and find new ones again.

Why does a married man need a mistress psychology

As mentioned above, married men find mistresses in order to:

Take a break from family problems, everyday life and gray everyday life
Resurrect lost emotions
Get new experiences
Feel the novelty of sexual relations
Find an understanding, an outlet
Have a relationship without commitment that you can end at any moment
The desire to flirt, love adventures is possible

Psychology of the relationship of an unmarried man with his mistress

In general, they are no different from the options described above. Except, if a man is lonely, not spoiled by female attention, and has a soft, sentimental character, then he will quickly and for a long time become attached.

Conversely, if a man is not characterized by emotions and affection, he is spoiled by female attention, then it is unlikely that he will appreciate this relationship. Moreover, some men are characterized by a desire to get new sexual experiences with a new woman. Only relationships based on sexual impressions and passions are not durable. But here everyone chooses what he likes.

How to stop being the mistress of a married man psychology

If you want to stop being the mistress of a married man, then you will have to put him before a choice. Or he will officially acknowledge the relationship with you. Or, such a relationship will have to end.

In the latter case, you will have to delete everything related to a married man. And turn your attention to more interesting events. In principle, this advice is given by many psychologists. And of course it is very difficult at first. But this happens only at the beginning, especially if you yourself are very used to a man.

But the less contacts, meetings, communication with him there are, the faster this attachment will go away and die away. For the best effect, it is advisable to find yourself a new acquaintance. As the saying goes, a wedge is knocked out with a wedge. It is precisely a new acquaintance with another man that can quickly heal from affection and memories.

What is it like to be the mistress of a married man psychology

In general, the fate of mistresses is not enviable. You have to hide a lot, be on the sidelines in the life of a married man and invest a lot in relationships in order to preserve them.

After all, you will have to create a good atmosphere of meetings, constantly make sure that the man is comfortable and good with you. To make him happy with everything, listen to him, pay attention, and nothing in return. His lion's share of attention will still go to children and family, wife and all relatives. And only then, what remains will be received by the mistress.

And the mistress will have to constantly invest a lot in the relationship in order to keep the man's attention. On the one hand, there seems to be nothing wrong. But from the point of view of psychology, when a woman puts a lot of energy for the sake of a man. Then the man begins to take it for granted. It got it easily and he has nothing to lose.

And another catch is that when a woman puts in a lot of energy for the sake of a man, the importance of a man for him increases. After all, she did so much for him and she no longer wants to lose him. But for him, the importance of a woman decreases. Especially when he didn’t do anything for a woman, then what to lose.

It often happens when there is no equality, sincerity, naturalness in a relationship. And when they are built on the personal, selfish desires of a man to satisfy his passion or other desires, without attention to what his mistress wants. Therefore, she will not be in the first place with him.

Why does a married man need a constant lover psychology articles

Most often, such men get used to, become attached to another woman, but to choose who he needs more, a lover or a wife, does not have enough strength and confidence. Not all men find it easy to break off a relationship with their wife, especially if there are many things that connect them.

The lack of what he lacks in the family, he finds in his mistress. When it is constant, there are many fewer problems. She can be trusted more, there is no need to look for another mistress again.

Treating permanent lovers as a second wife. There may already be more responsibility, seriousness, and a desire to help in a difficult situation. But only here the concept of a constant mistress is relative. Because in life nothing lasts forever.

The content of the article:

Love for a married man is a situation that is very often condemned by the public. If you do not take this factor as a basis, then the likelihood of literally every woman getting into it should be noted. Therefore, without hypocrisy or excessive reasoning about morality, it is necessary to figure out how to behave a lady in this delicate twists and turns.

Reasons for the connection with a married man

Love usually comes unwittingly when you don't expect it at all. However, this is not always one hundred percent dogma when flirting with an unfree partner occurs. At the same time, the following factors can become the impetus for starting a secret affair:

Mutual sympathy... A married man and an unmarried woman may well like each other. Acquaintance usually occurs through mutual acquaintances, but the intervention of the will of chance is not excluded. Very often, such a love triangle arises from the connection between colleagues, because even in the workplace, the exchange of fluids between potential partners is possible.
Feeling lonely... In this case, the words of a famous song are immediately remembered that there are usually nine guys for ten girls. Sometimes even clever and beautiful women while away long evenings alone, because they cannot find their soul mate. As a result, they can have an exciting romance with an unfree man.
Situation "the train has left"... Someone at one time was too picky in choosing a partner, so in the end he was left with a broken trough. With the onset of epiphany, some of the fair sex understand that all the standing men were simply "dismantled". To create further relationships, either drunken persons or outright misogynists remained.
Revenge... There are many reasons for looking for a non-free victim. First, a woman in the past could herself have encountered a predator who stole her husband from her. Secondly, a lady is able, out of a feeling of revenge, to start an affair with a partner of her acquaintance, if she is superior to her in some way and frankly demonstrates this.
The desire for easy money... Relationship with a married man is not always based on mutual passion on both sides. Some greedy people are ready to go to any lengths to steal a wealthy spouse from their wife. At the same time, they act toughly, paying little attention to public opinion and moral principles.
For the sake of boredom... Even such an absurd reason sometimes pushes women to have a relationship with a ringed man. These anemones, yearning in idle idleness, can start a similar affair just for a variety of their leisure time. They cannot live without thrills, so the forbidden fruit will definitely attract them.
Collecting men... If to be objective in the voiced question, then this type of hunters is very unsympathetic in moral terms. They set nets and snares mainly on non-free gentlemen, in order to then put another tick in their "track record".
Unwillingness for a serious relationship... There is a category of ladies who does not at all seek to tie the knot. The creation of a family is not included in their plans, so they bypass even enviable bachelors. Such women are quite satisfied with an affair with an unfree lover, because such a relationship does not imply obligations and oaths of allegiance.
Having your own family... In this situation, a so-called quadrangle is created, which can exist for quite a long time. A woman-lover in such a relationship does not at all try to take the gentleman away from her legal wife. She can love her secret boyfriend, but with her husband she can feel stability and security.

In most cases, an affair with a married person has nothing to do with real love. However, even the materialistic goals of starting a relationship can be transformed into a feeling of falling in love with the ringed partner. In this situation, it is worth thinking not about the reasons why it happened, but looking for the correct model of behavior in a difficult life story.

Rules of conduct for a woman in a relationship with a married man

Each lady should figure out what she wants from a relationship with an unfree lover. If a woman is really inflamed with passion and her goal is a relationship without noise and a showdown on the part of the spouse of the secret chosen one, then she needs to act as follows:

Maximum conspiracy... In order not to cause problems for a man dear to his heart, it is necessary to carefully hide the relationship that has arisen. At the same time, it is forbidden to talk about him even in a laudatory form with friends. Very often, gossip spreads at the speed of sound, becoming information for everyone to use. Ideally, it is necessary to create your own secret connection for making calls to a married partner so that the spouse does not make a grandiose scandal after the audit in his phone.
Minimum intrusiveness... It is not necessary to red-hot the means for negotiations with numerous SMS-kami and declarations of love. The unfree gentleman will be scared off by this, because he may not be ready for such violent manifestations of feelings on the part of an ardent fan. It is also not an option to watch him in all conceivable and inconceivable places, because the lover's wife can also be engaged in the same exciting occupation.
Denial of jealousy... The ringed Don Juan is not the personal property of even the legal wife. He is a free person with a stamp in his passport, which sometimes stops few people from going to the left. You should get used to the idea that your beloved officially belongs to another woman, who definitely has more rights to him.
Self respect... If a lady does not value herself, then none of her entourage will do this. Even the role of a mistress should not be humiliating, making a person blinded by passion into an errand woman. It is necessary to demonstrate your feelings to a non-free gentleman correctly, but firmly enough to make him understand about your solvency as a person.

If a woman behaves as it was announced, then she will not even have a question of how to win the love of a married man. The only exception will be the case if the womanizer sees in his secret partner exclusively an object for sexual pleasures. At the same time, not a single earthly force will force him to leave his legal spouse and go to his mistress.

How to break up with a married man

Sometimes a lady begins to understand that she is seriously in love, but she has no chance of creating a full-fledged family with an unfree partner. In this case, she will be helped by the advice of psychologists on how to deal with love for a married man:

Debriefing organization... If you do not have the strength to take the first step into a new life without an unfree gentleman, then you can shift this responsibility onto him. It is enough to arrange for him several grandiose scandals with all the ensuing consequences. At the same time, it is necessary to accuse him of all mortal sins that he has committed or is about to carry out. More imagination in this regard, and the gentleman will rush off at the speed of sound to his wife, whom he did not even think of leaving.
Straight Talk... Seeing obvious consumerism on the part of her lover, a lady can call him into a heart-to-heart conversation. The question of how to get rid of love for a married person will disappear as unnecessary by itself with a clear arrangement of all the dots above the "Y". A person who is not going to leave his family does not need difficulties on the side. Therefore, it will not be difficult for an intelligent woman to pull off the mask of hypocrisy.
Copy spouse... This is a very effective way if the lover had a habit of complaining about his soul mate. Lovelaces and lovers of pleasures on the side want exceptionally ease from extramarital affairs, so they will not tolerate the slightest pressure on them. To cut off all the ends, it is necessary from a woman of mystery to turn into a fury-saw who wants to know about every step of her lover.
Insisting on starting a family... Usually a lover does not want anything serious, especially to have children from a passion. If a woman actively talks about her plans to have offspring, build a house and create a new family nest, then the lover will be forced to retire, because this is not at all part of his plans.

Of course, there is still a small chance that a man will want to leave the family and create a new one, but it is small. And as people say, it is difficult to build your happiness on someone else's misfortune. A new family may be subject to serious condemnation from acquaintances, as well as hatred of children from the ex-spouse. This can introduce some contention and problems. In addition, being secret lovers, unencumbered by serious household and financial problems, is one thing. But to become lawful spouses, to live under one roof is quite another.

Important! In this case, all is fair if the time has come to end secret meetings. However, you should not tell the cheater's soulmate about his unscrupulous behavior towards her. Someone else's destroyed family can amuse the wounded pride of an offended person, but such actions will not bring peace and happiness to the avenger.

Ways to deal with depression after a breakup

After parting, many women who have managed to seriously fall in love with their ringed boyfriend fall into a state of despondency and melancholy. If the past relationship was initially doomed to failure, then work should be started on the return of inner peace.

In order not to get rid of your pernicious passion ever, it is necessary to take the following measures to acquire additional and lingering suffering:

Making yourself an idol... Ideally, you need to place a photo of your former love in a prominent place, where he smiles cheerfully and looks like a completely happy person. To then pour salt on the wound, you can immediately place a joint picture with the former gentleman in the happiest period of the relationship with him. It is worth hoisting all the gifts of a lover in a prominent place in order to periodically remember for what reason they were presented.
Looking for a double... So that the wounds of the soul do not heal as long as possible, it is necessary to begin an active search for a married man who is very similar to a former lover. Then it is necessary to hastily organize the resulting relationship clearly in the same way as the previous spy games. Amateur performance in this case is not encouraged, because everything should be done clearly with a carbon copy.
Historical walks... In this case, we are not talking about a protected area at all, but about those streets and squares where secret meetings with a once loved one took place. You need to spend all your free time there, trying to avoid visiting entertainment venues and recreational activities.
Operation Intercept... At the same time, it is necessary to act decisively, not being afraid to seem an annoying intriguer. In order for a former lover to always stand in the mind's eye of a broken-hearted woman, it is necessary to constantly contemplate him in real life. To achieve success, it is recommended to turn into a hound, which always correctly takes the trail of an unfree gentleman.

Note! All the offered anti-tips are very often the most common mistakes women make when they break up with a married man. If the relationship has no future (which in most cases happens in a love triangle), then it is urgent to end them. Then you should avoid the voiced "recommendations" so as not to aggravate your mental anguish.

How to behave correctly

If the lover's feelings for her boyfriend were serious, then it will be difficult for her to painlessly get rid of them.

Departure into oblivion... Such advice should not be taken literally, but for a former secret friend it is necessary to become invisible once and for all. Repeated "friendly" meetings will not lead to anything good, because in the end they may end with the renewal of communication without prospects. All possible channels of communication with the past should be cut off, changing the phone number if necessary. A grief admirer who did not take his mistress seriously will quickly leave her alone and lead a new passion on the side.
Change of job... Such categorical actions should be taken if the married gentleman is an employee of the same institution where his former passion works. The situation becomes especially complicated when the boss becomes a partner in secret meetings. In this case, it will be very problematic to maintain business relationships that will not go beyond flirting.
Getting rid of illusions... A woman who interferes in other people's family relationships should initially understand her place in the created love triangle. Even if she becomes an outlet and an island of tranquility for a married man, this does not at all mean her leadership in the competition with her legal wife. After breaking the secret connection, it is necessary to soberly assess this fact, focusing on what could not have happened otherwise.
New acquaintances... This advice does not at all mean the beginning of an active search for another lover. On emotions, you can step on the same rake, while aggravating the situation to a critical state. Out of revenge, it is also not recommended to trump a former unfree gentleman with a new relationship. Such actions will look ridiculous, which will only cause bewilderment among those close to you. However, starting an innocent flirtation or just companionship with pleasant men still does not hurt.
Work on yourself... Sitting and grieving about the past is the lot of weak people. A self-sufficient woman can also find herself in the humiliating role of a mistress, but she will have enough strength to get out of the vicious circle after realizing her place in the life of an unfree gentleman. After breaking up with him, you need to devote free time to further realizing yourself as a person. At the same time, self-esteem will rise, which definitely suffered after a love story far from romance.

How to get rid of love for a married man - watch the video:

A relationship with a married man is the choice of any free woman, because she has the right to control her life herself. However, statistics say that in very rare cases, such a relationship ends with a happy ending. Is it worth wasting your precious time with a ringed lover when there are so many interesting bachelors around!

Whatever morality, foundations and norms of behavior dictate to us, connections outside of marriage have always existed. In harsh Puritan England and in the cheerful court of Louis XIV, women and men fell in love equally recklessly, without bothering to first check whether the subject of passion had a soul mate. And then they suffered, were jealous, tormented by doubts ... But in most cases the result was one, and two people who met at the wrong time parted forever. And you were not spared by this cup? Well, we will look for the least painful ways out of the impasse.

Psychologists have written masses of scientific treatises about why men have intrigues on the side, and will write as many more. Here and the desire to unwind from the family routine. And a midlife crisis, when a mistress is a means for a husband to prove to himself that he is "still wow." And the pursuit of sensations is a light "peppercorn", the danger of being caught adds a sharpness to the relationship, which has not been felt for a long time in the insipid family life. Yes, and no one denies sincere feelings to the stronger sex. Indeed, it happens: the old love is gone, the new one shone on the horizon ... Yet a man rarely regards a relationship on the side as something serious with far-reaching consequences..

With women, it's the other way around. We leave aside the young "sharks", aiming to pick up a wealthy sponsor and squeeze out of him as much material wealth as possible - from the first days of communication, they perfectly understand what they are doing, and do not need the help of a psychologist. We are talking about ordinary, "average" women who are ready to stay in the status of a mistress for years, be content with humiliating dates stealthily and spend lonely evenings in front of the TV while a man returns home to his lawful wife and children. Why are they doing this?

What is serious for a woman can be regarded by a man as a casual affair.

Love... Feelings are not in vain compared to strong wine: it struck me in the head, dizzy, completely turned off logic along with the ability to reason coldly and sensibly ... And neither the wife nor the children seem to be an obstacle anymore. Why, you have "the same, real"! Who else but women know what is intoxication with the senses?
Fear of loneliness... When time passes, and the long-awaited prince is hopelessly lost somewhere on the way to you, it begins to seem - even better some man nearby than no one at all. Maybe it will work out ...
"His family has long been fiction." And here the don Juans themselves are trying, painting in colors to the naive listener the sorrowful details of their life. And with their wife, they have long been the same as neighbors, and only children connect them, and in general a trip to the registry office for divorce is not far off, that's just ... Well, then a set of reasons follows, which is determined by the richness of the imagination of each individual man - from “Wait until the kids grow up” to the unknown illness of the spouse, who is not a man to leave alone in such a situation.

Reasons to break up: pros and cons

Or maybe it is not necessary to break off the relationship? It happens that a man leaves the family, and two loving hearts finally begin to beat next to each other. Let it be rare, even in 10 cases out of a hundred! What if it is you and your beloved who are destined to get into the coveted top ten? ..

Of course, you can take a chance. If you are ready:

wait a certain number of years for a man to gather courage;
diligently adjust his life to the schedule and desires of the chosen one, not being able to demand the same for himself - after all, he has “circumstances!”;
for the rest of your life, carry the brand of a homewrecker on yourself,

- then the relationship can be continued indefinitely. True, you have to come to terms with the fact that the long-awaited divorce may never happen, while your best years will be missed. And keep in mind the option in which a man, having lived with you for a couple of years, will return to his abandoned family. (According to the same harsh statistics, 70% of husbands do just that - after all, everything there has long been known, familiar and worn out, and with you you need to start building a life together from scratch) /

Seven out of ten husbands return to their wife

Psychologist's view

A relationship with a married man is fraught with a number of problems.

First. They initially bear the stamp of something illegal. Even if you profess the principle “in love, all means are good,” the realization that someone else's family is crumbling because of you will poison thoughts at least on a subconscious level. The proverb about happiness, which is not built on other people's tears, is not in vain.

Second. An affair with a married man in 90% of cases is doomed to failure. And deep down, many young ladies are aware of this report! Therefore, such a passion, in addition to external pleasant moments, brings a lot of disappointments, bitter nocturnal thoughts and mental wounds.

Finally, the status of a mistress greatly undermines a woman's peace of mind. She does not go with her chosen one to corporate parties - a man comes there with his wife. Can't introduce him to friends and parents. She does not have clear plans for the future, confining herself to the vague "when we will be together ..." At the same time, the lady is deprived of flirting, pleasant courtship from young people, dating - everything that so raises women's self-esteem - the lady is deprived, as she feels "busy". As a result, it turns out that there is a man and, as it were, not. Relationships are there, but without real emotional return and warmth. As for how everything will end, there are big doubts ... What kind of female happiness is there?

Remember, in such a relationship, a woman positions herself as busy, and a man as free!

“When there’s so much behind everything, especially grief, don’t wait for someone’s support, get on the train, disembark by the sea.” Joseph Brodsky

Breaking a long-term relationship with a man you really love is never easy. I want to wait; give a little more time to yourself and him; believe that something is about to change and your beloved will always be with you ... Do not be fooled. If a man is ready to leave his wife, he does it quickly, if not, never. Look around! Why did you decide that it was on this person that the white light converged like a wedge? The person who makes you smart, attractive and self-sufficient! - to play such a humiliating role? Maybe you should value yourself a little more and look for someone who will not run on dates secretly from his wife, but will surround you with well-deserved care and love and give you a full-fledged family?

Each of us imagines (well, at least approximately) how to fall in love with a man, and how he will behave after the birth of tender feelings. First dates, quivering touches, long nightly correspondence and sudden meetings at any time of the day ... But all this may not be the case if the beloved man is married.

A free guy is not held back by anything, and he can behave relaxed and calm (how exactly - read in the article). A married man is a completely different story, if he is not a professional reveler.

The way a man behaves will depend primarily on his moral qualities, no matter how pretentious it may sound. And also - on how important the family is to him. If he is determined to save the marriage, only languid looks, subtle touches and sad sighs await you.

A suffering man makes not only himself unhappy, but also the women around him

arrow_left A suffering man makes not only himself unhappy, but also the women around him

If he is a decent family man, it will be difficult for him to openly show interest. There is a constant struggle inside: the desire to be near the beloved and to touch her comes into conflict with shame in front of the woman, whom this Casanova has already managed to marry.

It is more difficult for a married man to allow himself to fall in love "like an adult" if he is not yet ready to break the bonds of Hymen. He also cannot openly show love; you need to pay attention to hidden signs that a man simply cannot control.

So, a married person is definitely a fuse if he:

constantly trying to catch your eye;
turns the body towards you, even if talking to someone else;
smiles at you with or without reason;
always ready to help;
becomes cheerful or thoughtful next to you;
writes for any reason.

The urge to get close competes with the need to keep your distance. Another sign of falling in love: a married man looks like a schoolboy who was first overwhelmed by sympathy. No matter how old he is, teenage behavior will still hatch. Embarrassment, ridiculous phrases, even red cheeks - all this can betray even a brutal alpha.

Secret love correspondence is pleasant and exciting, albeit dangerous.

arrow_left Secret love correspondence is pleasant and exciting, albeit dangerous.

If you have already met before, it is even easier to understand whether there is sympathy or not. The psychology of a man in love makes him curry favor with his sweetheart in every possible way and awakens the desire to be (well, or at least to seem) better than he is. How else to fall in love with a woman?

You can read even more signs of male love in the article.

Psychologists say that a man who is ready to cheat will involuntarily touch the wedding ring, twisting it. This is a sign of the desire to remove him, along with the marriage shackles.

If you are a free woman interested in a long-term serious relationship, you should not rush into the pool with your head. A more important task appears: to understand what exactly a married person wants - just to fall in love and take advantage of, or he is ready for a deeper relationship.

Any plans for a married man? It is not necessary to give them up right away, of course. But keep in mind: tacit life statistics are disappointing. Most men are just looking for entertainment on the side and are not going to leave their wife. Therefore, do not have any special illusions, even if his every action looks like a sign of sincere feelings.

Romance should be positive, not sad

arrow_left Romance should be positive, not sad

It is better to start with neutral communication, more like friendship than love. Chronic Don Juan is only interested in bed games. He will not listen to your childhood stories for hours, while every fact about sweetheart is important for a really in love man.

If you managed to fall in love with a married man, and he realized that you are exactly the “one”, no one will pull up with a divorce. But the constant excuses and the search for reasons why this cannot be done is a bad sign. An affair meaning nothing for a man can drag on for years, and it will end with the phrase "I'm sorry, I still love my wife."

This situation is described in detail in the article. True, there she is viewed from the side of the wife, but read it anyway in order to better understand the motives of such a man.

Sooner or later, he will still understand who he needs - a legal spouse or a new lover. And the truth is that for the sake of what he wants, he will do anything. If he wants, he will move mountains, and in the middle of the night he will rush with fruit, and he will go to the registry office to file for divorce. But only if he really wants to.

Even if the husband is sure that he is the real Stirlitz and the God of conspiracy, it is almost impossible to avoid a puncture. Men often forget how sensitive women are to the little things. This ON may not notice the twentieth new dress or the changed hairstyle of her beloved, SHE will notice everything.

You can strain if:

the husband suddenly decided that scrambled eggs on lard is the enemy of the long-lost press, and he urgently needs to sign up for the gym;
shabby T-shirts and washed family members were replaced by new fashionable wardrobe items;
at night, instead of the usual snoring, one can hear a quiet clicking on the display of a mobile phone;
bed games are replaced by dry "I'm so tired, can we just sleep?";
the aroma of the shower gel was replaced by an expensive perfume.

Unfaithful husbands often forget that the wife already knows exactly what her husband becomes during falling in love: she has already gone through all this.

Each man experiences the feeling of guilt in his own way. Someone begins to fuss more around the deceived spouse, who may still not even suspect about it: sudden gifts or flowers "for no reason" (remember: has this happened before?), Unquestioning performance of household duties, even those from which he usually denied.

The hero of "Love Real" had a serious problem with the gift. And adultery did not bring happiness to anyone

arrow_left The hero of "Love Real" had a serious problem with the gift. And adultery did not bring happiness to anyone

Such an attraction of unprecedented generosity can be abruptly replaced by a negative manifestation of guilt: a man suddenly becomes a beech, refuses any conversations and tears off his irritation on the nearest woman. And immediately after that, humility returns, and the husband tries in every possible way to correct his mistakes ...

Of course, such "symptoms" are not 100% proof that the spouse has found someone on the side. But you shouldn't ignore sudden changes either. And how to deal with the extra third is up to you.

And finally

I want to spend as much time as possible with the object of my passion, especially during the candy-bouquet period. But even a banal trip to the cinema can become a real problem if, after work, the faithful is expected at home, and on the weekend he must go to his mother-in-law at the dacha.

It is very pleasant to fall asleep and wake up next to your beloved, and for men, such actions also matter. But can he guarantee such joy at least once a week? Yes, and it's hard to realize that the beloved men from your bed went to the house where his wife is waiting.

It is worth thinking three times how necessary such a relationship is. A married man and a free woman is an old tale that rarely has a happy ending.

Finally - an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the super ability to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: she looked at a man - and immediately you know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article right now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any relationship problems at all.

And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you will not read other people's thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate of psychological sciences, and her method helped many girls feel loved and receive gifts, attention and care.

If you're interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 places specifically for visitors to our site.