If the child steals money in the family. What should parents of preschoolers do? What to do if the child does not consider theft a bad deed

22.06.2019

child theft widespread, and even wealthy parents who pay enough attention to their children can find out that their child has stolen something.

Children steal for many different reasons, the main of which are revenge, the desire to get what they want at all costs, lack of education, the desire to look more interesting in the eyes of others due to the presence of an expensive toy.

What does a pediatric neuropsychologist treat? Learn about it from ours.

General information about child theft

There is a widespread tendency in society to call petty theft, including children's, kleptomania, which is mistake.

Kleptomania- a mental illness that occurs relatively infrequently.

It is extremely difficult for a kleptomaniac to restrain the urge to steal something, and thanks to theft, he feels pleasure and relieves nervous tension.

Impulses to steal something from a kleptomaniac intensify if something happened in his life psychotraumatic.

At the same time, such a person may be well aware that he is doing wrong. Most kleptomaniacs try to fight the disease with the help of psychiatrists and psychotherapists.

The most common kleptomania occurs in 30-40 years. In childhood, this disease is a rarity. Therefore, children's theft should be called theft, and not kleptomania.

Even the child who does not lack toys and tasty food can steal, but children from disadvantaged families are more likely to steal who regularly experience a sense of their own inferiority, looking at happy peers dressed in beautiful clothes and bringing interesting toys to the team.

An active desire to steal in such children may be combined with other deviant features, such as increased aggressiveness.

Why do children steal?

Why do children steal? The main causes of child theft:

In extremely rare cases, a child steals because he was asked to do so by an important adult, such as one of his parents, or in cases where an adult clearly told him that stealing is good, useful. This applies to a small percentage of marginalized families.

Factors that increase the likelihood that a child will want to steal are financial problems in the family. However, even a child from a desperately needy family is unlikely to commit theft if his parents have given him clear moral guidelines about it.

Therefore, this factor can significantly increase the likelihood only if there are additional factors, such as lack of proper education, life with toxic or marginalized parents the negative influence of friends, acquaintances.

What to do if a child bites his nails? help you!

If a child has stolen something and you need to respond immediately (that is, you just found out), it is important:

When you and the child are in a calm environment, then you need to move on to full discussion of the situation. Ask questions about what happened.

Most likely, the child will not be able to tell everything in detail, will cry and may completely shut up without saying anything about the case.

This is normal: he experiences what happened, feels helpless and upset. It is important at this moment not to break into it.

If a store item is in good condition, it should be immediately return and explain to the seller together with the child. It is important that the child apologizes.
If the seller does not want to take the goods back or the goods are in poor condition, it is important to talk to the child about this moment: explain to him that now he will have to pay for what he has stolen. If the child has pocket money, it is they that must be used to pay, so that he is aware of the loss.

Child stole from parents - tips:

If a child has taken money for someone, it is important to understand this situation and, if necessary, contact the police (in case it is extortion).

How to deal with the problem?

How to punish a child for stealing?

If a child steals regularly, and exhortations and lenient punishment do not work, it is necessary see a child psychologist.

How to wean from an addiction?

It is important to solve the problem comprehensively, if necessary, to connect a psychologist. It is necessary to find out the causes of theft and work with them.
For every reason, a constructive solution must be found. If the child does not have enough pocket money, discuss options with him. If there is a frank lack of financial resources in the family, calmly, without tantrums and aggression, explain to him the current situation.
At the same time, if the child has been removed from responsibility and relationships with money all this time, he may not understand the parent’s explanations, because money has not received special value for him.
If the child has been overprotected, this should be abandoned. Gradually expand the area of his responsibility, give more instructions. If the child is old enough and , get him, but indicate that the main care for him lies with the child.
Do not leave money openly if the child has already been seen stealing. Do not reinforce the temptation to take.

How do you explain to a child that you can't steal?

Give examples, show and discuss content related to theft. For example, you can use pictures depicting various events related to theft. Have the child describe what they see in the picture and give their opinion. If the theme of theft was shown in a fairy tale or cartoon, you should ask him for an opinion (which of the heroes did well and which did not).
From an early age, it is important to try to explain to him what “one's own” means and what “alien” means. Repeatedly remind him of the difference between inside and outside, especially in appropriate situations (for example, if a small child took someone else's toy on the playground).

If a child has already been caught stealing, a child psychologist can help him change his attitudes. It is important to contact him, especially if the child stole repeatedly.

How to calm a naughty child? find out right now.

Why do children steal? Psychologist's opinion:

Any parent at least once in his life is faced with when his child takes someone else's. So, what to do if the child steals money? Strange, but all parents react to this situation in almost the same way - sharply.

Most parents in this situation begin to ask themselves the question: “Why did this happen to my child? ". Then confusion sets in, and then panic: “What will friends and relatives think now? ". Then comes the time for other questions and complaints to oneself: “I am a useless educator! " or "Punish him so that he understands everything! » Each of the parents experiences a storm of emotions in such a situation. But it is important how parents react to this situation. In general, is this the first such case, or is it just that they noticed the theft of their child for the first time?

Of course, it is very bad if a child steals money. The concepts of "thief", "theft" and "theft" are negative and inapplicable in relation to children. Because the child's world full of fantasies and the real world for him are almost inseparable. The child cannot independently understand that his act is wrong. In addition, parents should treat this situation based on the age of the child. For example, if the child is still very young and not yet five years old, his step cannot be called stealing. Little ones do not know such concepts as “my” thing or “someone else's” at all. From the age of five or six, the child will be able to understand the belonging of objects to someone. Therefore, until the age of five, he cannot restrain himself or his desires. He wants to take something and he will take this thing. For him, there is no such thing as the value of objects. But adults do not pay attention to this side of the situation and begin to panic that their child is stealing money. Interestingly, they will not be shocked if a child takes a plastic trinket without asking, and if he takes a valuable thing, they begin to scold him. For a child, these things are interesting not at all because of their cost. He just followed his impulse.

In such cases, the child simply needs to be explained what personal property is. Do not take personal items without permission. In addition, parents should remember that many children at a young age are selfish. They are driven by the desire to find something or take what they want. Parents are required to teach their child to take any things with the permission of the owner.

By the way, there are various reasons why children take someone else's thing without permission.

Seeing a new interesting toy, a child often feels a burning desire to get this thing. So, after waiting for an opportunity, he quietly takes the toy home. The reason for this act can be explained by the fact that children are not yet familiar with the division of things into "mine", "your" or "someone else's". You can not immediately call a child a thief. He just needs to explain that he took someone else's, and it's not good to take other people's toys. Parents must accompany their explanations with a case study. So that the child understands how another baby will suffer if he loses his toy.

There are situations when a child takes money without permission to give a gift to his mother. This act is associated with the child's lack of understanding of the negative side of theft. He wanted to please his loved one. However, he does not realize that he is doing the wrong thing to do so. In addition, the child can present in such a way that he “found” the money. He needs to explain that the term "found" in this case is not applicable. The money he found does not belong to him, so he cannot keep it. Children should be taught from a young age that "found" money or things do not become the property of the person who found them. But in real life, even parents do not always do the right thing when they find ownerless things or money on the street or somewhere else. The child learns from the parent's example. If he constantly sees that his parents take things from the office or from neighbors, then another example is not needed.

By the way, children often steal, attracting attention to themselves. Thus, they desire to attract the attention of elders or peers as the owner of some item.

Sometimes a child may steal because he feels like he doesn't have enough of what his friends have. For example, now many children have pocket money. If parents do not have money for such expenses of the child, then sooner or later he himself will find ways to satisfy personal needs. Adult children begin to steal deliberately in order to gain power or control. It happens that a child steals to take revenge on someone.

How to behave if a child steals money? First, parents must first understand the reasons for what happened. Then you need to think about what led the child to this act. It is very important to carefully understand all the nuances of this act. Pay attention to whether the child brought the money openly or hid it. Maybe he just wanted to draw attention to himself? Maybe money gives him power over others?

It is important to understand whether the child feels guilty? Having discovered the money, the parents should speak out unequivocally, the money should be returned to the owner. That everyone around and loved ones, and society condemns theft.

Parents, having discovered theft, should be strict, but you also need to feel sorry for the child. It is necessary to awaken in him a sense of shame. Then you need to help him correct the mistake. Having discovered a negative act, parents should show tact and determination. When the child understands his guilt, it is necessary to shift the focus to the feelings and experiences of loved ones, as well as people who have lost money or things. You need to help the child get out of the situation without humiliation. It is also necessary to take measures to return or compensate for the damage. It is not recommended to threaten a child with the police if he refuses to admit his guilt. You can not show aggression, a clear threat leads the child to a dead end. You can not call a child offensive words and a thief. Have a confidential conversation with him, not a judgment seat. Do not talk to your child in public. If the parents begin to misbehave, the child will no longer trust them. Remember, stealing can become a children's demarche against family troubles and mistakes in education.

The content of the article:

The child began to steal - this is an alarm that cannot be ignored. Some parents, fearing public condemnation, close their eyes to the addiction of their child. They tell themselves that they put the money somewhere and forgot about it. According to such unfortunate educators, their unclean offspring took someone else's thing by mistake. If you react to what happened in this way, then a professional thief will grow out of a cute baby. It is necessary to take seriously the solution of this problem, which can destroy the happy life of the whole family.

Why did the child start stealing

First of all, parents need to understand that a child is not born with this addiction. Therefore, it is necessary to deal with the reasons for his theft, which may include the following factors:

Wrong parenting model. Sometimes parents are so busy with themselves that they do not notice negative changes in the behavior of their offspring. There are even such individuals who do not consider it shameful if their child took someone else's toy. Such a reaction is connected either with the pedagogical illiteracy of the parents, or with their elementary promiscuity.
Adult example. If dad and mom were in places not so remote for theft, then you should not be surprised that their offspring reached into someone else's pocket. This fact is especially true for adolescents, who are already aware of everything and copy the behavior of their parents, if they enjoy authority over them.
Bad Company. As life practice shows, a bad example is definitely contagious. There is such a thing as herd instinct. It is he who often pushes children, even from quite prosperous and wealthy families, to steal.
Personality deformation. If moral norms were not explained to a child from early childhood, then the consequences of such irresponsibility will not be long in coming. Children are clay, from which adults are able to mold a self-sufficient personality. If you miss the moment when you start appropriating other people's things, you can lose your child forever.
Extortion. Sometimes older children demand that their victim meet their financial needs. The child is afraid of hooligans and extortionists, so it is easier for him to steal money from his parents than to reveal the truth to them. In the future, he will begin to take valuable things out of the house if juvenile delinquents get a taste, feeling their impunity.

Parents and only they are to blame for the fact that their child is eventually recognized as an asocial person and ends up in a juvenile colony. Such a tendency can really be eliminated if you want to see your child happy in the future. 90% of juvenile delinquents-thieves go to jail precisely because of the indifference of their parents to them.

Varieties of bad habits in children

Based on the reasons for the emergence of a pathological habit, experts clearly distinguished such asocial behavior in a child. There are 6 varieties of this pathology, which look like this:

impulsive theft. With mental trauma, increased excitability or oligophrenia, children quite often encroach on someone else's property. It is for such a contingent of children that must be carefully monitored in order to avoid committing theft.
Theft-protest. Usually this problem occurs in an abandoned child. He may even steal money from his wealthy parents in order to distribute it to people in need. At any cost, such children are trying to attract the attention of too busy adults.
Theft-permissiveness. Some irresponsible parents consider the enterprise of their child an excellent character trait. Their logical conclusions are that everything must be carried into the house. They inspire their son or daughter that rogues are always lucky in life and they will never be left without a piece of bread with caviar.
Theft-envy. Not every family can boast of a stable financial situation. Gifted children sometimes end up in an elite institution where children of wealthy parents study. The temptation to borrow some expensive thing from them is so great that the child commits theft.
Theft-bravado. Very often a child steals money not because he urgently needs it. The reason for his deviant behavior lies in the fact that in some children's groups this act is considered a manifestation of courage. If someone from the class stole money or any goods in the store, then he is immediately declared a hero and a great trickster. A similar reaction of peers pushes the young thief to repeated illegal actions.
Kleptomania. In this case, we are talking about a fairly rare mental disorder. It should immediately be noted that children practically do not suffer from kleptomania. Some little tricksters, when they are caught hot, simply imitate this disease in themselves. At the same time, their usual excuses are voiced by the fact that they did not want to at all, but an unknown force pulled their hand to steal.

What to do if the child began to steal

With an already accomplished fact, it is necessary to come to grips with the upbringing of your offspring. It is necessary to approach this issue taking into account the age of the child.

Correction of antisocial behavior in a preschooler

Parents should remember that from the age of 3, their baby is well aware of the fact of appropriating someone else's thing. However, he does not realize the immorality of his act. Shouts and accusations in this case will definitely not help, so you need to act differently:

Don't scold the child. The biggest mistake parents make is trying to lynch their kid. This can only frighten children, but not save them from the desire to appropriate what they are not supposed to. An exceptional conversation in a calm tone will help to convey to the young thief that it is impossible to do this. If he decided to appropriate someone else's toy, then he must be led to the idea that it must be urgently returned to the owner. As an example, it is recommended to ask the baby to describe his emotions if his favorite thing was taken from him.
Find out the cause of the misbehavior. Sometimes parents are amazed that their child committed theft in order to please loved ones. It should be explained to the guilty person that gifts to dear people are not presented in this way. It is also recommended to show the baby how to make a present with your own hands. He must understand that the same drawing or craft will please dad or mom, and not a stolen thing. If the reason for the theft was the desire to possess a toy, then it is necessary to teach the child to save up for its purchase.
Show more care. In no case should children be bought off with money or expensive gifts. A child, even at this age, is acutely aware of the substitution of concepts. It is necessary to give him the opportunity to feel his own importance for parents. Sometimes it is more important for children to be praised once again than to buy another trinket.
Learn the details of what happened. Sometimes the child is blamed for no reason, simply shifting all the responsibility on him. Before arranging the punishment of the suspect, it is recommended to find out the essence of the incident. If guilt is proven unconditionally, then the reaction of the baby should be observed. Worst of all will look the fact that he flatly refuses to admit to stealing. In this case, you will have to work not only on the main problem, but also on explaining to the child about the inadmissibility of lying in relation to other people.
Require permission to do anything. In a prosperous family, the behavior of the baby is always and everywhere controlled by adults. This unshakable truth must be planted in the mind of the child from early childhood. Permissiveness leads over time to sad consequences, so it is necessary to educate children in discipline.
Organize a cartoon. In this case, "The Kid and Carlson" is suitable, where the main character exposes the thieves of someone else's underwear in a humorous style. Psychologists also recommend organizing a viewing of the cartoon "Lost and Found", where a clever magpie thief hunted. After such an acquaintance, it is imperative to emphasize that the main characters are positive characters and are fighting against theft.

At this age, it is quite easy to correct the behavior of the baby. If the favorable moment is missed, then parents will have to fight the conscious desire to steal from their offspring.

What to do if a schoolchild steals

In this case, we will talk about a child who clearly understands the wrongness of his behavior. When asked what to do if a child steals, it is worth taking the following measures to influence the growing offspring with deviant inclinations:

Explore your child's social circle. The likelihood that children began to appropriate other people's things for themselves due to bad influence is quite high. It is necessary to carefully analyze the behavior of your child's friends in order to draw final conclusions. This must be done tactfully and unobtrusively so as not to further aggravate the situation.
Maintain close contact with the class teacher. With the problem of how to wean a child to steal, one cannot do without the help of teachers. It is they who can suggest who can have a bad influence on their ward. A competent specialist will contact the parents himself if he notices any deviations in the behavior of the child.
Keep track of the appearance of other people's things in the house. Children love to exchange toys and souvenirs, but this cannot be a permanent occurrence. Any parent should be alerted by the fact that their child brings rather expensive things from kindergarten or school. At the same time, he explains this by the fact that he found them quite by accident. The roads are not paved with valuable items, which should not be forgotten by fathers and mothers.
Teach your child to save for expensive things. For many solemn events, relatives present children with gifts in the form of a cash equivalent. It should be explained to your child that squandering often leads to the fact that then the wind is walking in your pocket. To acquire a treasured thing, you do not need to steal, but you should be patient a little and accumulate the required amount.
Eliminate double parenting standards. If one of the parents turns a blind eye to the theft of his child, and the second is actively fighting them, then you can put an end to the desire to get rid of the existing problem.
Constantly encourage the child. He will definitely be ashamed if, after a bad deed, his parents invite him to visit some kind of attraction, cinema or cafe. This should be done as often as possible so that the juvenile thief understands that dad and mom love and trust him.
Don't talk about the theft. It is shameful, insulting, but not deadly to announce it in the case when the beloved offspring was caught hot. In families where dirty linen is not taken out of the hut, then the most irreversible consequences occur.
Review child's needs. Sometimes parents limit their child in the most necessary. It is this reason that makes children steal things and money from their peers. It is necessary to ensure that the son or daughter does not become a black sheep in a team that can be quite cruel in its assessment.
Explaining the consequences of stealing. Ignorance of the laws does not exempt from criminal liability for offenses. It is necessary to remind your child that theft is not an innocent prank, but is considered a serious offense that is punishable by law. A teenager can be shown the movie "Boys", where the fate of children with deviant behavior is shown without further ado.

Prevention of child theft

Trouble can and should be prevented, and then not complain about fate. Children's theft can really be eliminated in the bud, if you behave as follows:

Eliminate the temptation to steal. Why disturb famously while it is quiet? Do not keep valuables in a conspicuous place, thus provoking an unformed personality. Money should also be hidden away in order to completely restrict access to them by a son or daughter. Some parents consider such precautionary measures to be a humiliation of the dignity of the child. However, later they are very surprised by the fact that things disappear in the house and they are invited to the juvenile inspector.
A clear distinction between the concepts of "mine - someone else's". In order to avoid theft, it is necessary to make it very clear to your child about the inviolability of what does not belong to him personally. At the same time, it is necessary to speak calmly, but quite firmly and categorically.
Allocation of pocket money. Some parents feel that they are pampering their children this way. Adhering to this opinion, they deprive the child of even trifles for going to the cinema or school breakfast. They do not think that it will be much more pleasant for their offspring to eat in the dining room with friends than to eat sandwiches prepared by their mother alone. In addition, the child has the right to choose juice and a bun at his own discretion. At the same time, the main thing for parents is to ensure that their child does not spend pocket money on food that is harmful to his growing body in the form of chips and Coca-Cola.
Using a personal example. In no case should you show your envy of wealthier people with a child. It is such angry speeches that form in children a sense of social injustice and a desire to take away an expensive thing from a peer with wealthy parents. Day by day it is necessary to reason out loud that theft is a very bad act, which only dishonorable people are capable of. A child is like a sponge soaking up what his parents say. At the same time, it is important not to turn to him, but simply to pronounce these truths during any conversation.

What to do if a child steals - look at the video:

When asked why a child steals, it is recommended, first of all, to analyze the relationships that exist in the family. It is also necessary to reconsider your model of raising a son or daughter who has begun to encroach on someone else's. In particularly problematic cases, you should seek the help of a psychologist.

For the umpteenth time you notice that in your wallet is not the amount of money that should be there. At first you thought that it only seems so to you. Well, you never know, they forgot, did not calculate the purchase - anything can happen. But this happened again and again, and now you are already writing down all the expenses, and the money still disappears in an unknown way. They asked the child - he says that he did not take it. Meanwhile, one day, by chance, you find him at the scene of a crime with your wallet in his hands, and since then the thought that your child is a thief burns you with a sense of shame and powerlessness. The question “why?”, asked by you a hundred thousand times already, remains unanswered, and this fact depresses you even more. But there is an answer to it, however, it does not lie on the surface, so let's understand the situation.

Theft and deceit - one field of berries

There is no theft without lies, because no normal person will ever voluntarily admit that he took someone else's. Nobody wants to be bad, including your child, so he will deny it to the last. But you should be concerned not so much with his confession as with what prompted him to transgress social norms.

Note that the reasons why children may take someone else's things vary depending on the age of the child. So, up to four years old, it is generally difficult to accuse a baby of stealing, because he has not yet properly formed the concepts of his own-alien, private-general. He will learn them, becoming a little older, however, it will still be difficult for him to fight the temptations to appropriate something he likes while no one sees, and the real material value of the object will not play any role. But already from the age of seven, the child, as a rule, is able to control his actions, so if at this age you find in him the habit of stealing, then you need to deal with its causes in order to take adequate measures.

Why does the child steal

Let's start with the fact that in childhood every first one steals, except for rare, rare exceptions. But everyone is drawn to someone else's, while almost everyone does not at all regard such actions as theft. Meanwhile, everyone has their own reasons for such actions.

Compared with theft, lying seems like a harmless childish prank, although these phenomena are like Siamese twins: one is unthinkable without the other. Only if one of the many reasons moves a child to steal, then only one reason induces him to lie - shame. After all, he understands that he is doing badly, but he is afraid of being exposed. Shame plus fear equals deceit - the formula that determines your child's behavior.

However, it is possible that in this case it was not without your influence. Children can lie because they do not see anything special in it. They also hear home conversations of adults on the topic “if you don’t deceive, you won’t live”, and so they form a distorted perception of what is good and what is bad.

How to help a child who steals and cheats

Of course, ideally, bad inclinations should be nipped in the bud. That is, from the earliest years to explain to the child that theft is unacceptable, and lies are unworthy. But even if at one time your educational efforts turned out to be untenable, it is never too late to work on the mistakes. So, we make a list of priority steps.

First of all, you need eliminate the criminal and medical components of the problem. Firstly, visit a psychiatrist, and secondly, find out if your child has come under someone's bad influence.
Act according to the formula "love, accept, trust". Three magic words to help your family resist the temptation of lies and theft. Tell your child that you love him without any conditions and will always love him, no matter what he is and no matter what happens to him. Reassure that you will accept him as he is, with all imperfections and mistakes. Explain that trust is the foundation of any relationship, including that between a child and parents. At the same time, make it clear that there are no perfect people, that everyone makes mistakes, the main thing is their timely awareness.
Don't let sin go unpunished. The child must understand that you have to pay for everything in this life. Stole - return. Spoiled - refund. Deceived - restore trust.
Learn how to budget your family. Let the child be aware of how you plan purchases, let him also participate in the discussion of family finances. He must feel that he is also an important and significant member of the family, whose opinion is listened to.
Give a child money. Or create conditions under which he could earn them on his own. So he will receive a certain share of independence and independence. And it will also gain invaluable experience of saving for desired purchases in the future.
Learn about your child's wishes. Talk to him. Maybe he is driven to steal by the desire to acquire something very important to him. If the cost of the proposed purchase is excessive, then learn the correct, calm, reasonable refusal.
Do not show aggression towards the child. Do not insult, humiliate, threaten, or use physical violence. Otherwise, the child will become isolated, and you will further move away from each other. And your ultimate goal is just the opposite.
Respect the child's personal space. Do not take his things without asking, do not look into his gadgets, records, bags without permission. Do you want him to respect other people's property? Show an example.
Be your child's friend. Talk to him about everything. Share your feelings with him. Let him know that his bad deeds upset you. And be sure to enlighten him about the possible consequences - tell him about the existence of the Criminal Code.

Of course, a child thief is unpleasant, and offensive, and scary. But not hopeless. As psychologists say, if adults and children in a family can become truly close people to each other - with all the rights and, more importantly, responsibilities - then the problems that arise are solved with minimal moral losses.

Child theft is a problem that all parents face. Such behavior usually causes confusion, panic and bewilderment in older family members. We will tell you about the main reasons why a child steals money, and what you need to do in such a situation.

Child theft is a fairly common occurrence. Almost every child is tempted to take something from someone else. If this situation has affected your family, do not panic. The problem has a solution. It is only necessary to understand the reasons for this behavior and respond appropriately to it. In this case, you need to take into account the age of the child, his relationship with you and peers.

Such features are purely individual. One child, convicted of stealing once, will experience a strong emotional shock and will forever refuse such undertakings. Another, experiencing systematic punishment, will continue to steal again and again. Both situations require attention and responsible approach on the part of parents.

Why is the child stealing?

The psychology, motives and essence of child theft largely depend on when exactly children begin to steal.

If the baby is less than 3-4 years old, it is impossible to talk about deliberate theft. At this time, the baby is just beginning to analyze the concepts of someone else's property and value. It is still difficult for him to control his desires to own something.
At an older age, having reached the milestone of 5-6 years, the child already understands well and is aware of the boundaries of what is permitted. Theft in this case speaks of certain problems in socialization and relationships with parents. You need to understand the motives of the child and the goals of such behavior in order to stop it in the bud.
There may be several reasons why a child of 6-7 years and older steals:

The child lacks attention, and we can talk about both the attention of parents and the attention of friends and peers. Having revealed the loss, everyone quits their daily business and starts looking for money, and the little director of this performance likes to watch how the situation changes dramatically. Even an educational conversation about how bad it is to steal becomes an extra reason for communication for the baby.
The child feels deprived, not having what other children have. This is especially true for babies, who are still the only ones in the family. When parents refuse to buy an expensive toy, the little schemer thinks about how to get this trophy and decides to steal money from his parents to buy the coveted object.
Desire to earn the respect of peers. The one who has the most toys has the maximum influence in the children's society. If your child strives to be a leader, he will look for leverage and ways to get it, even bypassing the prohibitions of his parents. One solution is stealing.
The child repeats the behavior of one of the adults. The reasons for stealing may lie in watching mom take money from dad's wallet without asking. If adults bring other people's things into the house, this can also lead the baby to think that it is normal to do this.
He uses stealing as revenge, a way of punishing someone. If recently you punished your child for a misconduct, the reason for the theft may be hiding in an effort to take revenge, to express your resentment.

Analyze the situation and identify the root cause of the incident. This will help you plan a course of action and find the right words to explain to your child that this is not the way to do it. When you understand the motives that formed the basis of such behavior, you will have the opportunity to purposefully solve the problem without resorting to a psychologist.

What to do in case of the first theft?

Noticing the loss of money at home or seeing other people's items, money in the things of a child, you should not ignore such a situation - such behavior must be dealt with without delay. At the same time, the value of the stolen does not matter, whether it is a cheap toy or an expensive one, large or small denomination. The fact of theft, not its size, should cause concern. A psychologist is needed only as a last resort, first try to cope with this incident on your own.

Talk about what happened

Not without a serious conversation. Ask a direct question and watch the reaction. If the child honestly admits his guilt, explain to him the inadmissibility and consequences of such behavior.

If the child honestly admits his guilt, praise him for his courage, and then explain the inadmissibility and consequences of such an act.
If in response you receive silence, tears or a refusal to admit guilt, on the one hand, this is a positive signal: the baby is ashamed of his behavior. However, the reason for the inability to confess may also be copying the behavior of parents during quarrels and family squabbles. Gently hint that you understand why this happened. At the same time, you need to be serious and strict, not to reduce the conversation into a joke or a game.

Find out the reason for the theft

When the child confesses, every effort should be made to ensure that he explains why he did it. We are talking about talking with children over 4 years old - they already understand why and why they do certain things. Try to create a trusting atmosphere so that the baby can reveal to you the true reasons for his act. Take the advice of a psychologist: ask what worries him, what offends him, why he is upset. Listen to your child - this will help determine the causes and measures to prevent repeated theft.

Explain the negative aspects of stealing

Tell where the money comes from, emphasize the fact that they need to be earned, and not taken from strangers. Explain that in society, theft is followed by criminal penalties, imprisonment, and loss of reputation. Let the children understand that people who do this become outcasts who no one respects.

Put the child in the place of the victim

In the case of appropriation of someone else's toy, ask the baby if he would be happy if his favorite car or doll was taken away from him. It is easier for children to realize their own feelings and emotions than to feel sorry for the victim. When he imagines himself in the place of the one from whom he stole his favorite toy, the child will understand what a mistake he made. In the future, this association will stop him if he wants to assign something.

Do not shout or humiliate the child. You can not call him a thief, threaten with cruel punishment, rejection of him. Doing so will provoke fear and distrust, and this will only aggravate the situation. The child may not stop stealing, just now he will hide everything from you for fear of being rejected.

Determine the punishment

In this matter, you must be strict. Explain to the culprit that the stolen amount, thing must be returned or paid for. He must feel the consequences of a wrong deed. As payback, you can offer housework that he did not do before, other help to his parents.

Arrange for the return of the stolen item. It is advisable that the baby ask for forgiveness from you for stealing money from your wallet or apologize to a friend from whom he stole a toy.

When should you see a psychologist?

Sometimes the situation gets out of control. Parents cannot understand what to do if the child steals not for the first time. If your baby has started stealing regularly and the educational measures are not helping, this may be a reason to seek help from a psychologist.

When once again your arguments and actions fail, make an appointment with a specialist. Perhaps it's not just a lack of attention at home or a desire to gain authority among peers. One of the causes of child theft is kleptomania. This disease is characterized by:

Impulsive attraction. Children steal without a specific purpose and preparation.
An irresistible urge to satisfy the need to steal. Conversations and exhortations of parents do not help.
Psycho-emotional stress. When the need is not satisfied for a long time, the baby closes or shows aggression.
Promiscuity. The child does not care what to steal - he began to steal not only toys and money, but also objects completely useless for children.

When you identify one or more of the signs of kleptomania, do not refuse professional help from a psychologist. Experts will tell you how to solve the problems that have arisen at this age.