How to raise parents or a new non-standard child - Levi Vladimir. Vladimir Levi how to educate parents, or a new non-standard child
Current page: 1 (Total of the book 23 pages)
Vladimir Lvovich Levi.
How to educate parents or new non-standard child
What is this book
Why do people are not born adults?
Understand your childhood - it means to understand a person
Adults by the eyes of children
How to answer children's questions
As parents and children do not hear each other
In what angle to put the parent?
Parents hot, cold, no
How are the ancestors and descendants of each other?
How to become independent with a graceful mom, how to tamper insane parents?
When and how to start living separately from the ancestors?
What is a suggestion and suggestibility
Why need increduls
What is the mind?
Why do children do not obey?
Why and why do children stubborn?
How many children's fears begin
What to do to make the child to do what you need?
How much are we talking about and do?
When and how to insist when to give up or reach a compromise?
How to overcome stubborn by bypass tracks?
How does psychoallery children develop on parents?
Big hazards of children's obedience
Why proper education gives the wrong results
Terrible harm of parent automatons
Instructions: How to successfully grow from a baby lazy, stench, scoundrel, crazy, idiot
How to form without humiliation
Valuable instructions in the field of punishment
Why does the child suggest a punishment?
What is the most important thing for a child?
Reliable way to make disgust for work
What are the testimony for harsh punishment?
People's way to prevent drug addiction
When you can not punish and scold
How to punish with benefit?
How to build mood?
What if the child is rude and khamit
As a child "sit down" on praise
Underwater stones of market psychology
When you do not need to praise the child?
Who and when you can praise and need?
How to praise for what no to appear?
How to praise the child when stuttering?
What to do and speak with different obsessions?
Correct tactics with night incontinence
How to behave with an enzyme child
How to help cope with childish fears
What is ahead of approval?
Congratulations on the first two
Two most important moments for healing approval
Why does the child spoil from time to time?
How to praise
How and why ask for a child and help?
Praise as salvation
How not to let the praise
How to communicate with disabled and incorrigible
How to handle capable children?
How to be with too proud?
Incompatibility of love with the assessment
How to find a lost common language with a teenager
How and why remember your childhood
How not to lie about love and sex
How to limit premature interest in sex
What are sexy repressions
If the child has taken sexual attempt
How to be non-standard sexual orientation
Instructions for non-consuming mat
What to do if the child fell in love
Deadly hazards boredom
How not to feed the baby
If the girl is thick
Mode without pressure
Do not interfere
Kindergarten: how to help the child
Children Sadovsky and Nevadovskiy
Commandments quenching
What to do if the child is difficult to communicate
How to behave if the diagnosis is terrible
Appeal to the loser
Misfortune as a means of happiness
Does hope do you mean?
How to behave with a mentally backstop child
What to do with suspected of the beginning of drug addiction
How to warn drug addiction
What to do if drug addiction has already begun
How to make an interesting life and study together?
How to beat the child's parents
Chapter 1. Question on the backfill
Why do you need childhood?
Fools among children are no more than among adults.
Yanush Korchak
Not everyone has children, but everyone has parents - or were, somewhere and somehow were ... not everyone is given to mature, but every born was and remains a child - somewhere and somehow ...
I started this book as a psychological allowance for my parents and first called the "non-standard child."
Kindergarten - directly opposite my window - lived with his loud life in my room. I, I slightly raising my head, I saw - deafening tweet, guy, victoryless screaming, dressed carefully and ridiculous.
The squall splashes of their votes reported my head faded clarity; And when the sudden calm was smelled - the ear immediately got into the coffin coffin, and there was no longer fatty noise of the municipal apartment of salvation ...
Years of practice, years of life went ... The book, as a person, remaining herself, grew and changed, and already by the third edition (and there were six of them in Russian, this is the seventh) I realized that this is a book for children - about parents.
In families, where "non-standard ...", children, growing up and becoming mothers and dads, and their parents, and grandparents, treated this book already as a double allowance. And some advanced home psychologists read it for years with eight-nine and applied might. They suggested to me, finally, the most correct, uniting name:
How to raise your parents, well, of course!
For chicken and eggs, combined.
The usual phrase "I bring up a child", if you figure it out, - ridiculous: a child who is "raised", all the time hiding under the veil of time, and the purpose of the upbringing is to make an adult out of him, make a parent!
... I live now away from the center, in the "sleeping bag". Under the side of the park forest. The surrounding kindergartens are derived here for walking. So again - I did not have time to sit on a bench and say hello to the spring earth, how noise and gams, pigtails were poured into the glade, pantying cheeks, silent snot ...
"In war! - Marinka! - Well-Igor! - Tasham! ... "
"To build pairs! Now leave the forest! Frost, what is your special invitation? Where is your couple? Another remark, and all go out of the forest! "
Morozova pushing into operation. Another shock, reluctant equation, everything subsides. And somewhere leads them by the drinking greens birches, past the outbreaks of the first dandelions, past me ... I catch a person: Girls have angrily serious, knowledgeable - someone is to blame. The boys are stupid-gloomy ... I look at the educator - the pretty features with a lightweight; Probably the very young mother; In the transfer, some stupid sample pain: Yes, someone is to blame for her from yesterday, and it addresses her wounded look to the side of those gray communities ...
At sunset, if you look from here, this houses seem to be blessings in which the Slags of Being are mounted. Probably somewhere there she lives, and in some of the nets, her mood melted ...
The boy from the last pair, it can be seen, I felt something, it dispersed absently and approached me.
- Uncle, what is your skin?
- This is a scarf.
- Is he soft?
- Soft.
- True, soft. Nat you with a vitaminka, - I fuss in my hand the yellow pea and run: from there already cry ...
Life is surprising or why do you need childhood?
This first year, these several diaper months seem to be eternity. So it will always be: bathe, wash, swaded, get up at night, disease, diathesis, bottles - infinitely! ... And suddenly - got up and went, went ... "GU, A-GU" - and spoke! ... these first five to seven years, It seems that will never end: small, still small, very stupid, funny, wonderful, unscanitive, and how many nerves are required, how much patience ...
Kindergarten, he will always go to kindergarten, preschooler, he will always be only a naive preschooler. And sick, again sick ...
These school years are also terribly slow: the first, second, third ... seventh ...
All the same, the small, still stupid and inept, helpless, does not form ... And suddenly: looking down from top to bottom, talking to the tone of mental superiority. Desperate life jerk, incomprehensible acceleration. Survasted, all surprised! ... We have time to grow old, but do not have time to grow. Who inspired us this children's thought, as if you can have time to prepare for life? ...
Why don't we be born with adults right away?
From eternity to eternity. What happens in a full life cycle, seemed well in comparison. For nine morning months, we manage to run the path of development, equivalent billion years of evolution.
The difference in the year between newborns and one year old, it seems that it is to create at least from different eras. Two-year-old and one-year-old - also completely different creatures, it is difficult to imagine that these are practically peers ...
A two-year-old is already much closer to each other, but still if one is another semi-fold, then the other is approaching primitive dick.
The same difference is made almost imperceptible between four- and five-year-old, five- and six-, it is again felt between six and a family or family and eight, again he is smoothed again to give themselves to know about boys from 13 to 17, girls - with 11 to 15, and is finally equalized somewhere in the threshold of twenties.
The difference is ten years old. 0 and 10, 1 and 11 are different universes, you will not pick up another comparison. 10 and 20 are different planets. 20 and 30 are different countries. 30 and 40 are already neighbors, although one can assume that the other is behind the horizon line. 40 and 50 - Men Almost peers, a climacteric pass runs between women. 50 and 60 - who is older who is already the question. A seventieth year can be younger.
So, starting at different times, we catch up with each other. Flight from eternity to eternity.
On the way, we turn into creatures, similar to themselves formerly less than butterflies on caterpillars than trees for seeds. Reincarnation, not covered by memory, not fit in consciousness. The mysterious something, changing the appearance, - the human soul - "I" in full ...
Science proves that my great-grandfather to the degree of sleep "prayed to trees - I can believe it, for himself, he himself trusted personal secrets with familiar pines.
Science suspects that he also was still a cannibal, and I don't want to believe in it. It is difficult to imagine that the great-grandmother has lived on the trees and had a big hairy tail that the great-grandfather X was sea fish and breathed by Zharam ...
Why do you need childhood? A great trip in why - a great refund. As a snack wave, life again and again roll back, to the originalness, repeats, but in a different way ...
In colors, kidneys and seeds, the original sources are hidden: life is happening, life does not cease to begin. There is a childhood in the world, because the earth turns around the Sun, because there are times of the year, tides, fed. Childhood will repeat everything, but in a different way.
Each seed, each Ikrinka carries the book of evolution. And when in a lightning-like discharge, two halves of the human being towards each other are rushing - to survive, come true, - the very first universal moment of the birth of life is repeated, but in a different way ...
About the great return tell us and the brush of the artist, and rhyme, and music; About the Great Return - all love songs. Few people are aware that every time, falling asleep, returns to deep infancy and even further - in embryonicity, at the face of birth.
Our dreams, with muscle twitching and eye movements, with a change in biotok, is nothing but the continuation of the mysterious intrauterine gymnastics, which from some pores begins to be felt by the mother as a movement. Return to the sacred-helpless fortune when we were even closer to plants than to animals ... fatigue, disease, injury - all the vital crises, physical and spiritual, return us to our roots ...
Connection of times is a great miracle of life. Yesterday takes the appearance of today's appearance, the oldest becomes the most young one. Sex cells, the focus of the lived - the focus of the future.
Exit from maternal wrap is evolutionally equivalent to the exit of our ancestors from the sea to land; Each newborn is the primary repairer of the land-friendly era, a pre-alexic pioneer.
Billion years behind - and here is the first cry ...
How many I have seen you? ... how many tried to understand, tried to treat? How many became friends? It has long been moved away from the account ... sometimes it seems that all my life helps one-sole child, in innumerable faces.
Maybe this is just me? ...
Chapter 2. Spoiled Phone
About difficult parents
My only mistake: I suspect parents in the ability to think ...
Yanush Korchak
Soft light desk lamp, racks, books, manuscripts: Home Cabinet Dr. E., Psychotherapist, author of several books. E. Sits at the table, clearly nervous, looking restlessly on the phone, on the clock. In a chair, in a free posture - a representative of the public journal "Chihatel" Journalist S.
- Enabled? ... Check the recording level.
- Once or twice, only two ... Check ... Role training doctors psychologists, game session. What time is it? Does the phone work? Rewind ...
"... to see yourself, born in another, to see another, having born in myself ..." is it a piece of an old record, leave? ... no, you're better here, and move the microphone ...
Using childhood, understand man
S. I ask you, the doctor, is greedy, more easily ... Relax according to your method, forget that this is an interview. Imagine that we just talk, completely unofficially, straighten your shoulders ... Imagine that I turned off the tape recorder ...
E. I feel good, I'm calm ...
S. That's, fine. So, you take patients daily ...
E. not only patients.
S. Well, let's say, people, just people. Treat them ...
E. Not only to fly.
C. Learning ...
E. I study.
C. Include in different fate, in different situations ...
E. Very different.
C. Then write about all this ...
E. Not about everything.
C. About the most important thing, the most necessary, interesting ...
E. Not about the most.
S. Understand, the most interesting is always ahead ... not for printing, let me be curious: you yourself, with such employment, do you manage to live a personal life, raise children?
E. See if ... (phone call.) Sorry ... Hello. Hi. Sorry, please, I ... yes you understand, here I have ... no, it's better tomorrow ... no, no way ... until tomorrow. (Hang up.) You see ...
E. depending on what. I do not sleep for the current literature, but, for example, I try not to part-ink, "how to love a child". And so, his own, - Yanush Korchak, "Favorite pedagogical works". Read?
E. Well, who is Korchak himself, of course, know?
S. Pedagog ...
E. Doctor First of all. Inconsider both the educator, a psychologist, a researcher, a writer and moreover ... Adjective type "Outstanding", "Large", "Great" deliberately omit. He wrote in Polish, but universal jewel ... I experienced the first world - "how to love the child" wrote in the trench. Did not live to the end of the second ...
S. I know. He died in a gas chamber.
E. Together with pupils. Could it avoid this, but did not want to leave his children ...
S. yes ... and this is yours ...
E. Kumir is not doing. He is alive, understand? And not because he said everything or everything correctly said, no, not everything, although said it is uncomfortable ...
Understand your childhood - it means to understand a person, that's simple, he saw like no other. It was born, graduated from childhood in thousands of details, deviations, shades.
And he is he! - Recognized, so what acknowledged there - shouted that he did not know the child! ...
Sorry, I seem to force you to change with me roles. Do you have children?
S. yes. What?
E. Do you know them?
E. (looks at the clock.) Now they will interrupt us. That's what I wanted to tell you. You see, no book ... (Phone call. Looks at the device. Call repeats.) Does not help. Does not help…
S. not quite understood ...
E. Now you will understand, (takes the phone.) Yes. Good evening, Vita Vitalevna. Yes, yes, of course ... again the same thing? I also assumed ... But I explained to you ... I asked to take into account ... No, I did not say that, then I wanted to say ... well, I listen.
(A well-supplied female voice is heard from the tube "Again, neither does not make a damn, it does not want to do where ... Grubits, lying ...") Hear? (Covers the microphone hand.)
C. Is this your patient?
E. Vita Vitalevna. Patient, patient daughter, patient's wife, mother of patients ... and readers, and Korchak holds on the shelf ... (from the tube: "Just a nightmare some ... all your psychology ...")
S. Something happened, some misfortune?
E. Nothing over the usual, long-term situation ... Vita means "life", pay attention, Vita Vitalevna: High blonde, still unsaturated, charming ... There is no dialogue now, it should be discharged. (In the tube - gently, sympathetically.) Yes, I understand ... Yes, of course ... (companion.) Yes, books ... now it is clear?
C. To confess, not very.
E. Well, how ... here, hear? (From the tube: "The crazy house ... no strength is missing ... Again at two o'clock in the morning ...")
C. (twisting at the temple.) Exceptional case?
E. full of ordinary. (From the tube: "I, even if ... Pig!") That was, what is the position: Just to those who need our books, the less and even if they are read ... (in the tube) yes Yes, yes ... really think only ...
S. But let me - no, I can not agree with you ... one case is not the proof, you are amenable to mood. How can you, a person written, deny the meaning of your work? Good books, real books ...
E. Do not deny, do not deny. Huge impact, educate, develop, open worlds ...
(Close of dishes are heard from the tube, unintelligible exclamations. Tube vibrates.) One second, it seems, begins ... (in the tube - loud and inspired.) Yes! Tonight! That's the point! Exactly! (A few more scraps and interjections, leans in exhaustion.) Well, that's all. Today everything is ...
C. Original technique. You have iron nerves.
E. (applying finger to lips.) TS-S ... quieter. Vita Vitalevna, do you hear me? (Sends Tube C.) Silence.
Processed magnetic recording sounded. The role of Dr. E. performed by D.S. Kstonov, the role of the journalist - V. L., the role of Vita Vitalevna - Vita Vitalevna.
Dr. Kstonov
"... external OblC D.S. It is distinguished by an extraordinary commonplace: it is low, long-grade, dried, kpaine, a thick man with mighty yq's shoulders, a very sutured shade, slim, like a cane, with a thick cap of the sleek, black, like a quantity, curly hair on a completely bald skull.
His key-ocious profile, similar to the young month, reminds Dante, and the G.Cc. Mongolian FAS, like the Sun, which went for the cloud, then the case is harshly smiles. The skin is the pale, but the gloodka, then wrinkled, but the ruddy ... non-private worm man. Parables, PACKCHUE (does not like to sit), stopped in the seed, sutulo drowned in a bathrobe. I went again, straightened ... zamylok Monopuko, Moon neck, translucent; Instead of face - turned, goes to me - NLOXKE, dry, sweat done by the eye for the eye of an indefinite color, dependent on lighting; Eyes, perhaps, stagnation of pulsating ...
And the Demail: For some reason, it smells like a pine, maybe Makoy cologne. Mapcuancuy Chicken walks on Ka6UNEMY, PAMKA is fresh, the growth and width of the back increase, from Meopka floats the elastic convex baritone and develops into a juicy sunny bass, dull shaden matches in the brunette ... "
Since then, the doctor has not changed at all, that is, continued to change in all directions, and aged, and grown up.
Dr. Kstone is still engaged in individual and group psychotherapy. Leads psychological club "Piglet". This club is visiting and I am with my family. Reception take turns in the same office.
And that is significant: when we started, a child turned out to be approximately every fifth of the received. Now - approximately every second or even the first. In each second-third letter of someone's mom or dad, they beat the alarm: not such a child grows, something is wrong ...
Children also read us, and sometimes write letters and complain about their parents, on themselves and on life.
Children about adults
from records D.S.
In comparison with the ways are usually chosen by parents in the stories about children and about themselves, the children are silent. And not because they have nothing to tell. Because no one.
- Do you love mom?
- Yeah. (I love once a day, I do not like five times.)
In front of the doctor, the younger doctors are trembling, the average is confused, the elders are closed.
How do you prove that you are not in collusion? They are responsible how confirms. Sometimes almost sincerely ...
Find out how a child belongs to adults, you can partly on his behavior, eyes and posture, partly on games, drawings, tests and other indirect manifestations, but only partly. Some information could be learned, we have invisible access to children's companies; But even if our cognitive technique and stepped out so far, we, I would be afraid to be disappointed in the scientific sense.
With regard to relations with adults, especially, children are not often frank each other. You need to believe in your right not to tell the truth, but at least think about it.
Gosh, 5 years old.
- My grandmother is kind. But she does not know how to be kind.
- Can not?
- What about?
- She's screaming.
- Shouts? ... and good screaming. And you too, sometimes, eh?
- When I scream, I'm angry. And grandma shouts all the time.
- And how do you know, is she kind?
- Mom says.
(Fears, whims.)
Danya, 7 years old.
- My mother is very good and very boring. And my dad is very interesting and very bad.
- What about it ... interesting?
- He is big, strong. He knows how ... (enumeration.) He knows ... (listing.)
- And you probably want to be good as mom, and interesting as dad?
- Not. I want to be invisible. I want to be none.
(Night incontinence, increased excitability. Parents divorced. Mother from the "godes", at the father's periodicals.)
Dasha, 11 years old.
- Pope I love. I had another dad, but it does not matter. Dad is wonderful, I am him very ...
- And mom, of course.
- And mom ... only she does not give.
- What does not give?
- She prevents ... Well, does not give yourself to love. This is somehow pushed with eyes. As if he says that I do not like her.
(Deep internal conflict on the soil of unconscious jealousy, depression.)
Dima, 12 years old.
- I hear the knock - dad enters - everything, I do not understand, and right here something shrinks ... undresses ... Shares, sniffs ... I still don't know what is to blame, but something is to blame, this is for sure ...
The time is already out how much, but for the lessons it was not taken, in the room Bardak, the bucket did not make it, the lamp broke the ball, the carpet flooded with ink ... and how I knew that the ball would bother there! ...
(Well developed, sports, but neurosis with disorders of internal organs. Parents - supporters of punishments.)
Oksana, 13 years old.
- I have wonderful, the most or most ... I decided on eight years that, when they die, I will die too ... they don't know me, I can't tell me, but they immediately speak, good or bad, right or wrong ... They are smart, kind, I will never be so. And now I want to die, I can no longer love them ...
(Crisis state. Parents - teachers.)
Sasha, 14 years old.
- When I am at home, they say that I prevent them from living. And what am I doing them? ... I turn on the music ... I made a rocket once out of the rocket, it turned a little ... I'm leaving, I try not to come longer. Returning: I'm not doing again, I'm not doing a fig, we have to be worried about it, you interfere with living! ... Kitten brought - they also badly, I don't like how it smells ... Well, I said to them once.
- Well, that I did not have to give birth to me.
(Reluctance to learn, the tendency to lie and fine theft. Movement, promotion. Parents without humor, do not get along with him.)
Marina, 18 years old.
- Yesterday I told them for the first time that I could no longer eat eggs sick. Already twenty years in a row eating the eggs sick, every morning, never missed ...
Adults are not smarter, they are fucked
letter with the answer D.S.
Hello, Dmitry Sergeevich. My girlfriend Galka and I learn in the 7th grade, sit at one desk. I am also a daw. Learning is not as bad as we could. And yesterday, the first time in his life was thoughtful and asked each other, why we do not want to learn.
I said: "I would, maybe I wanted if I knew what would happen next. Mom all told me in reproach, which was an excellent read and read a lot. She also loves to read, only time is missing. And it works in some kind of office, there is little money, a lot is sick. She does not like to live, he can't live, herself says. Why was it perfectly learn, but now force me? I do not understand". Galka said: "Yes, adults are generally stupid, you did not understand yet? Want that we were the same. We will be the same. " I say: "No, I will not". - "You will be where you get. You will see". - "But I do not want. I will not ". - "Haha. Come ". "No one makes me." - "Haha. You are already a decent fool. " - "And you?" - "And me too. Only I understand that I am a fool, but you are not yet. Because you are a ride fool. " - "And you are square." Crucified, in general. And now I think: Maybe a dawn right? Little I was naive, but my mind was my mind, I remember exactly. And now I was delivered, though. Because to live me forcing me a stranger mind, not your. Now I know that adults are not smarter than children, they are just an adult. And not even an adult, but just more and somehow fucked, or something. Tell me, please, can I ask you? And for what? Here is the main thing.
Hello, daw, there is from what in this life should be buried and swallow, in this you are tank right, one TV is worth something or computer toys. And whether it is possible to push (and whether it is necessary), it breaks my head all my life. And it always seems to think about the first time in life. It is not necessary to learn well, in my opinion, it is not necessary, but if it does not harm health, then why not? ... what is less stupid - to learn well, learning badly, do not learn at all? ... I have no answer yet, I think. And since there is no answer, you have to choose some of the stupid and consider this nonsense with your mind. And in general, the mind seems to me a variety of nonsense. In short, let's try to smooth further together, agreed? ... D.S
... Our materials: Excerpts from D.S. Diary And my, records of conversations and meetings, letters ... to connect everything to one thing turned out to be, I confess, the puzzle is not simple. When you accept or write a letter - that neither a person, then a special world. At some point, the recipe is required, in some kind of joke, fairy tale, silence ...
Here is another type of written message that we are with D.S. accepted for themselves and our readers. Close synonyms: nodules for memory, NB (note ben, notice well), thoughts on the fields, forget-me-not ...
Cub on nose
... there is such a word - "Credit". The same root and "credo" believes. Credit is something given to faith, on trust, but with the return. The child comes to the world with a credit of trust. This loan is given to adults and above all to parents. If this loan was infinite ... And if adults could not only spend it, but also to return and multiply ...
The art of communication of parents and children, the art of suggestion and influence, children, unlike others, difficulty learning, problems of adolescents, drug danger, first love ... The doctor of medicine and psychology Vladimir Levy is talking about this and many other things - the world famous psychotherapist and writer.His books written by vividly available, specifically translated into tens of languages.Reading "how to educate parents", you will learn how children are made good, despite the upbringing, and how to grow together with the child.
Chapter 1. Question on the backfill
Why do you need childhood?
Fools among children are no more than among adults.
Yanush Korchak
Not everyone has children, but everyone has parents - or were, somewhere and somehow were ... not everyone is given to mature, but every born was and remains a child - somewhere and somehow ...
I started this book as a psychological allowance for my parents and first called the "non-standard child."
Kindergarten - directly opposite my window - lived with his loud life in my room. I, I slightly raising my head, I saw - deafening tweet, guy, victoryless screaming, dressed carefully and ridiculous.
The squall splashes of their votes reported my head faded clarity; And when the sudden calm was smelled - the ear immediately got into the coffin of the alley, and there was no longer fatty noise of the municipal apartment of salvation ... Spring Surf Selfish Life, Gonding Validity, embodied the discrepancy of the desired with valid ...
Years of practice, years of life went ... The book, as a person, remaining herself, grew and changed, and already by the third edition (and there were six of them in Russian, this is the seventh) I realized that this is a book for children - about parents.
In families, where "non-standard ...", children, growing up and becoming mothers and dads, and their parents, and grandparents, treated this book already as a double allowance. And some advanced home psychologists read it for years with eight-nine and applied might. They suggested to me, finally, the most correct, uniting name:
How to raise your parents, well, of course!
For chicken and eggs, combined.
The usual phrase "I bring up a child", if you figure it out, - ridiculous: a child who is "raised", all the time hiding under the veil of time, and the purpose of the upbringing is to make an adult out of him, make a parent!
... I live now away from the center, in the "sleeping bag". Under the side of the park forest. The surrounding kindergartens are derived here for walking. So again - I did not have time to sit on a bench and say hello to the spring earth, how noise and gams, pigtails were poured into the glade, pantying cheeks, silent snot ...
"In war! - Marinka! - Well-Igor! - Tasham! .. "
"To build pairs! Now leave the forest! Frost, what is your special invitation? Where is your couple? Another remark, and all go out of the forest! "
Morozova pushing into operation. Another shock, reluctant equation, everything subsides. And somewhere leads them by the drinking greens birches, past the outbreaks of the first dandelions, past me ... I catch a person: Girls have angrily serious, knowledgeable - someone is to blame. The boys are stupid-gloomy ... I look at the educator - the pretty features with a lightweight; Probably the very young mother; In the transfer, some stupid sample pain: Yes, someone is to blame for her from yesterday, and it addresses her wounded look to the side of those gray communities ...
At sunset, if you look from here, this houses seem to be blessings in which the Slags of Being are mounted. Probably somewhere there she lives, and in some of the nets, her mood melted ...
The boy from the last pair, it can be seen, I felt something, it dispersed absently and approached me.
- Uncle, what is your skin?
- This is a scarf.
- Is he soft?
- Soft.
- True, soft. Nat you with a vitaminka, - I fuss in my hand the yellow pea and run: from there already cry ...
Life is surprising or why do you need childhood?
This first year, these several diaper months seem to be eternity. So it will always be: bathe, wash, swaded, get up at night, diseases, diathesis, bottles - infinitely! .. And suddenly it got up and went, I went ... "GU, A-GU" - and spoke! .. These first five to seven years seems to never end: small, still small, very stupid, funny, wonderful, unquest, and how many nerves are required how much patience ...
Kindergarten, he will always go to kindergarten, preschooler, he will always be only a naive preschooler. And sick, again sick ...
These school years are also terribly slow: the first, second, third ... seventh ...
All the same, the small, still stupid and inept, helpless, does not form ... And suddenly: looking down from top to bottom, talking to the tone of mental superiority. Desperate life jerk, incomprehensible acceleration. Surrounded, all by surprise! .. We have time to grow old, but do not have time to grow. Who inspired us this children's thought, as if you can have time to prepare for life? ..
Why don't we be born with adults right away?
From eternity to eternity. What happens in a full life cycle, seemed well in comparison. For nine morning months, we manage to run the path of development, equivalent billion years of evolution.
The difference in the year between newborns and one year old, it seems that it is to create at least from different eras. Two-year-old and one-year-old - also completely different creatures, it is difficult to imagine that these are practically peers ...
Two and three years are already much closer to each other, but still if one is half a semi-fold, then the other is already approaching primitive dick.
What a wonderful book. I am very glad that she came across. Paper, indeed, terrible, but it doesn't even strain me when reading. Somehow all immerse yourself in reading and from the quality of paper is instantly abstracts)
What is this book about? About the child, according to the author himself. Vladimir Levi took and wrote an essay of a child friend - that's the book " New non-standard child "After this book, I wanted to get acquainted with other books of this author. The book is interesting, but in the middle it became some kind of hard, then again reading went fast enough. The author tells about many things in this book and the main goal of him, as it seemed to help me. Adult to understand the essence of childhood and child. The book contains a lot of letters and conversations with children of different ages, as the illustrations of the problems under consideration, then advice are given, how to do in one way or another. The book makes the brains very well, makes thinking. The author writes The fact that children often become difficult, because they have difficult parents. Parents have forgotten what they were children and there are many conflicts from this, there is no understanding between children and parents ... Communication of parents and children often resembles a spoiled phone, for example , Son: Mom, I walk (son subconsciously meaning: I'm bored, my brain is in a stagnant, my nerves and muscles are looking for work, my spirit languishes. Mom subconsciously Schit: I don't want to do anything, I am an irresponsible lazy, I just would be afraid). The book teaches the correct understanding of each other. Talking in the book, how to break ties when moms still can not let go into independent adult children who have already been 20-30 years old. It is told about child stubbornness, where it is taken from and how to deal with it (if you need to fight). The author is saving parents from coming on his favorite rake: it is necessary. There are many ways of non-conflict communication with the child so that the latter does not have the feeling that we, parents, we demand, inspire, etc. A whole chapter in the book talks about real history, history in letters. These are the letters of the famous English politician, Count Chesterfield for his son. Count all the time sought to make a real man from his son. As a result, the Son lived a double life and a sufficiently young thoughtfully fell ill and died. As they said, the disease and developed against the background of what the Son was forced to hide a lot from his father. The whole chapter in the book is devoted to punishment. Another chapter is devoted to encouragement and praise. Also, a separate chapter is devoted to sex education. Another chapter is devoted to reflections on the bodily and spiritual health of the child (here it is told about food, about the refusal of food, about the mode, about disease and hardening). One chapter is devoted to special children. And another chapter on drug addiction and intention. And the last 13 chapter is called "understanding the world", she talks about parent wars, about boredom, about the holiday, etc. D. To tell about the book difficult, it is necessary to read it that I recommend all thinking parents.
Why do people are not born adults?
Understand your childhood - it means to understand a person
Adults by the eyes of children
How to answer children's questions
As parents and children do not hear each other
In what angle to put the parent?
Parents hot, cold, no
How are the ancestors and descendants of each other?
How to become independent with a graceful mom, how to tamper insane parents?
When and how to start living separately from the ancestors?
What is a suggestion and suggestibility
Why need increduls
What is the mind?
Why do children do not obey?
Why and why do children stubborn?
How many children's fears begin
What to do to make the child to do what you need?
How much are we talking about and do?
When and how to insist when to give up or reach a compromise?
How to overcome stubborn by bypass tracks?
How does psychoallery children develop on parents?
Big hazards of children's obedience
Why proper education gives the wrong results
Terrible harm of parent automatons
Instructions: How to successfully grow from a baby lazy, stench, scoundrel, crazy, idiot
How to form without humiliation
Valuable instructions in the field of punishment
Why does the child suggest a punishment?
What is the most important thing for a child?
Reliable way to make disgust for work
What are the testimony for harsh punishment?
People's way to prevent drug addiction
When you can not punish and scold
How to punish with benefit?
How to build mood?
What if the child is rude and khamit
As a child "sit down" on praise
Underwater stones of market psychology
When you do not need to praise the child?
Who and when you can praise and need?
How to praise for what no to appear?
How to praise the child when stuttering?
What to do and speak with different obsessions?
Correct tactics with night incontinence
How to behave with an enzyme child
How to help cope with childish fears
What is ahead of approval?
Congratulations on the first two
Two most important moments for healing approval
Why does the child spoil from time to time?
How to praise
How and why ask for a child and help?
Praise as salvation
How not to let the praise
How to communicate with disabled and incorrigible
How to handle capable children?
How to be with too proud?
Incompatibility of love with the assessment
How to find a lost common language with a teenager
How and why remember your childhood
How not to lie about love and sex
How to limit premature interest in sex
What are sexy repressions
If the child has taken sexual attempt
How to be non-standard sexual orientation
Instructions for non-consuming mat
What to do if the child fell in love
Deadly hazards boredom
How not to feed the baby
If the girl is thick
Mode without pressure
Do not interfere
Kindergarten: how to help the child
Children Sadovsky and Nevadovskiy
Commandments quenching
What to do if the child is difficult to communicate
How to behave if the diagnosis is terrible
Appeal to the loser
Misfortune as a means of happiness
Does hope do you mean?
How to behave with a mentally backstop child
What to do with suspected of the beginning of drug addiction
How to warn drug addiction
What to do if drug addiction has already begun
How to make an interesting life and study together?
How to beat the child's parents
Chapter 1. Question on the backfill
Why do you need childhood?
Fools among children are no more than among adults.
Yanush Korchak
Not everyone has children, but everyone has parents - or were, somewhere and somehow were ... not everyone is given to mature, but every born was and remains a child - somewhere and somehow ...
I started this book as a psychological allowance for my parents and first called the "non-standard child."
Kindergarten - directly opposite my window - lived with his loud life in my room. I, I slightly raising my head, I saw - deafening tweet, guy, victoryless screaming, dressed carefully and ridiculous.
The squall splashes of their votes reported my head faded clarity; And when the sudden calm was smelled - the ear immediately got into the coffin of the alley, and there was no longer fatty noise of the municipal apartment of salvation ... Spring Surf Selfish Life, Gonding Validity, embodied the discrepancy of the desired with valid ...
Years of practice, years of life went ... The book, as a person, remaining herself, grew and changed, and already by the third edition (and there were six of them in Russian, this is the seventh) I realized that this is a book for children - about parents.
In families, where "non-standard ...", children, growing up and becoming mothers and dads, and their parents, and grandparents, treated this book already as a double allowance. And some advanced home psychologists read it for years with eight-nine and applied might. They suggested to me, finally, the most correct, uniting name:
How to raise your parents, well, of course!
For chicken and eggs, combined.
The usual phrase "I bring up a child", if you figure it out, - ridiculous: a child who is "raised", all the time hiding under the veil of time, and the purpose of the upbringing is to make an adult out of him, make a parent!
... I live now away from the center, in the "sleeping bag". Under the side of the park forest. The surrounding kindergartens are derived here for walking. So again - I did not have time to sit on a bench and say hello to the spring earth, how noise and gams, pigtails were poured into the glade, pantying cheeks, silent snot ...
"In war! - Marinka! - Well-Igor! - Tasham! ... "
"To build pairs! Now leave the forest! Frost, what is your special invitation? Where is your couple? Another remark, and all go out of the forest! "
Morozova pushing into operation. Another shock, reluctant equation, everything subsides. And somewhere leads them by the drinking greens birches, past the outbreaks of the first dandelions, past me ... I catch a person: Girls have angrily serious, knowledgeable - someone is to blame. The boys are stupid-gloomy ... I look at the educator - the pretty features with a lightweight; Probably the very young mother; In the transfer, some stupid sample pain: Yes, someone is to blame for her from yesterday, and it addresses her wounded look to the side of those gray communities ...
At sunset, if you look from here, this houses seem to be blessings in which the Slags of Being are mounted. Probably somewhere there she lives, and in some of the nets, her mood melted ...
The boy from the last pair, it can be seen, I felt something, it dispersed absently and approached me.
Uncle, what is your skin?
This is a scarf.
Is he soft?
True, soft. Nat you with a vitaminka, - I fuss in my hand the yellow pea and run: from there already cry ...
The book is written by a very famous writer and psychotherapist Vladimir Levi.
This new, recycled and supplemented publication is an absolute bestseller among books about adults and children, about their relationship, about understanding and love.
How to see your parent mistakes? How to learn to feel the emotions of your child, do not forget about them, do not equose them with your worldview?
In the book "How to educate parents, or a new non-standard child" You will find answers to questions that did not even ask yourself. Difficulties of training, problems of adolescents, drug danger, first love ... Doctor of Medicine and Psychology Vladimir Levy tells about this and many other things. His books written by vividly available, specifically translated into tens of languages.
Reviews of parents about the book "New Non-Standard Child"
The book is wonderful. I read it as fiction. So many interesting thoughts, a huge number of examples, touching stories, funny jokes, poems ... Tested a variety of feelings: and joy, and inspiration, and pity, and fear ... Still, the responsible work is a parent! How good that there are books that help avoid gross mistakes in dealing with their children!
Ekaterina P.
I read, re-read, made extracts, caught myself on what I mentally communicate with the author. Smiled jokes, eagerly agreed with the main promises, the benefit of the motherhood experience makes it possible to evaluate the suggested "cats on the nose". I quived as a sign of consent, the eyebrows raised surprise and shrugged when the thoughts discerned with my life experience were met. I imagine how it looked from ...
Vladimir Levy recalls that the game is a key word in raising, which can not be looped on the usual, and improvise, look for an approach to the soul and mind of the child, and always keep the main commandment of the parent: DO NO HARM!
He speaks with us our own language concerns the most pressing and common problems and situations, and offers the ways of solutions that do not destroy or children's psyche neither the nervous system of parents, but will help build a calm, complete joy of life. You can allow so many errors in the process of upbringing and from the best motives to make yourself unhappy and your children. Nobody insured from these errors: neither doctor of science nor a simple fitter. And how terrible to be responsible for the wall of the alienation among themselves and the child, when to change anything no longer in our power.
I come back to this book again, it is written for me, it helps in everyday bustle and worries not to forget about the main thing: parenthood - happiness, child - a gift over, and he is not my property, but a separate person who needs to be respected from the very Early age.
Svetlana N.
How to educate children and should they bring them up? Maybe let them better bring up their parents? When to intervene, and when you do not? What if a child has problems with studying, behavior, sociability? And how to tell about it?
Always a lot of questions, whether they will receive answers - and yes, and no. Ready answers will serve poor service, it is better to be remembered, then what has come on his own.
Many stories, examples from practice and life, everyone can make something for themselves and understand.
I thought about many things, something began to perceive easier.
The main thing that I got vaccinated from the automatic parent, from becoming a car!