Funny toasts for birthday. It is not necessary to invent complex speeches, it is enough to make a toast that is unlike others, for example. Birthday toasts for a man
It's okay that a birthday happens only once a year. With our toasts, you can decorate any feast and create a holiday almost every day. There is always a reason for fun. And with the help of a variety of toasts for every taste, you can create a festive atmosphere and give everyone present a wonderful mood.
If you don't have enough imagination to come up with an original and funny congratulation yourself, do not despair! With our selection you will be known merry fellow and ringleader. In this article, we have collected for you toasts for your birthday, or any other holiday that you can pick up for a man and a woman for any feast:
- Short;
- In verse;
- Funny;
- Cool;
- Vulgar.
Happy birthday dear!
I wish you dough and more fools
To get rid of the shackles
Our life is not easy.
Fur coats, clubs, diamonds
And champagne by the river
To pour from the tap.
I didn't get up from the couch.
Chocolates, gummies
For breakfast and lunch.
All whims were fulfilled
And you didn’t hear no.
For you, my girlfriend!
Drinking martini, where is the mug?
Pour, my old lady!
One day a girl wandered through the desert with a bottle of drink... And he sees in front of him a weakened guy who was almost dying. He was thirsty. In a weak, barely audible voice, he asked the woman to get drunk, but she refused. The girl wanders on and here is an oasis in front of her. She is very happy, splashing in the water, swimming. And then she remembers the poor guy she met along the way. The girl took some water for him and decided to give him something to drink, returns to the place where she met him, but he has already made the ends ... So let's drink to the fact that women and girls always give on time! This also applies to the birthday girl as well. For you, friend!
A beautiful and slender, absolutely naked woman is walking through the desert and meets a handsome young man. He is also nude, but the male genitals are covered with a hat. The woman wanted to consider everything without a hat, came close to the guy and quickly removed two hands. But the hat continued to hang. So let's drink to the indescribable maiden beauty, which gives strength to hold the hat!
You are beautiful like a llama.
Graceful as a pava.
Appetizing like a bun
And smelly like a chanel.
Take down a tower worse than alcohol
I want to flirt with you.
Overhaul in your bed
Arrange for a few weeks.
For you, my dear!
I drink and pour myself
I raise this toast
And I get up in full growth.
Happy birthday!
If you have small troubles in your life, be ironic. If there are huge troubles - laugh heartily. If they ask about your age - godlessly lie! Happy holiday, friend, you have become one more year more mature! Happy birthday!
So that you are not jinxed,
So that they don't get off of you,
So that you always have something to dress in
And there was always someone to be naked in front of!
Let's raise our faceted glasses so that the birthday girl has as much grief in her life as there will be liquid in our containers!
I wish you good luck and a summer cottage by the sea. Happiness, health and everything blah blah blah. Such are the things ...
Let's drink to the fact that your desires about the fuck come out of my capabilities.
Maiden melodrama: "I didn't have time to look around, as they stopped looking." Let's raise our glasses to those who don't look back. For you, newborn!
Dirty toasts for a fun company
And to put you in jail to jail in 100 years for the brutal rape of a young wife!
I want to get drunk for ELK!
To want
Fuck * moose and live!
Raise the stacks for the ladies! After all, "I will not give" is a bad phrase!
Let everything pass by you, of course, except for intimacy!
For the men! Women drink on their knees ... at the mens!
A stray dog walks down the street, and a well-groomed lapdog runs towards him. -Hey! Who are you? - asked the dog. - I am a beautiful lapdog. - She answered playfully. - And I just decided to pee ... I will make a toast as simple as this stray dog. To always stand ... stopar and loot was always found!
Funny birthday toasts for a man
A man is like good wine: every year he makes it better, wiser. And let's also drink to a healthier, lighter and more successful!
You can only hear it on every corner: a man must do this, a man must do this ... Enough! Today, friend, you should only be happy! After all, it's a birthday, as Gena the crocodile sang in one children's song, only once a year! So have fun and don't worry about debt!
You're cool like Bruce Willis. Handsome like Brad Pitt. Strong as Schwarzenegger. Delicate like Dima Bilan. So let's drink to your split personality!
Guys are like little children, honestly! They always need new beautiful cars and a lot to have their own planes and other toys. So let's drink to our stronger sex and their addictions and so that there are always pretty dolls with them in their cars!
We always drink on days starting with the letter "C": on Wednesdays, Saturdays and today!
Once upon a time there was one very unhappy guy... He did not see happiness, did not laugh and did not even smile. Everything was very bad for him. And so it went on from day to day, from month to month, from year to year. But suddenly one day a miracle happened! Lady Fate herself came to him and offered one of the three royal gifts. She offered to choose between Love, Luck and Health. so let's raise our cups so that our dear friend never has to choose and all three of these gifts are present in the life of our birthday boy in abundance!
Cool short toasts
I am not a thirty-year-old lady, but a young 17-year-old girl with 13 years of experience!
The only spouse - wherever it went, the mistress - not bad. Two mistresses - perhaps, but several spouses are too much! So let's raise our glasses to a sense of proportion!
Such a treasure as an ideal woman cannot be found, it can only be created with your own hands, overwork, sweat and blood. So let's drink to the men who work tirelessly around the clock!
The girl is ready for absolutely anything for the sake of a feeling of love - and even to make love. The guy is ready to do a lot for the sake of just making love - and even love. So let's drink to a wonderful and light feeling!
Expensive! Alcohol makes you gorgeous! - But I did not use it! - This is not the point, I used! So let's raise our glasses for female attractiveness!
Funny toasts in verse
So that we always stand
And you had a ** yes.
To break the beds
The parties did not end.
Let's drink to the girls!
So many bows, skirts.
Tights, ruffles, thongs, bodices
And so many myths go around!
There are many of them - all sorts of simpletons,
Aristocrats, bastards,
Their legs will grow from the ears,
And we kiss them, khokhlushek.
They are so passionate and hot
And they love veal tenderness.
We will drink vodka slowly
Girls, let life be yours
Fresh, sweet and pretty!
This toast is a little simple
But the feelings are immeasurable in him.
Pouring the third toast
And we drink for our girls!
As they say, the stronger sex is weaker than the weaker, due to the weakness of the stronger sex to the weaker. How I twisted it! Let's drain our cups to the bottom!
Attention, only TODAY!
Friend, I wish you fall, make mistakes and miss! But he fell - into a woman’s embrace, was mistaken, thinking that something was beyond your power, and only missed problems and troubles. Be healthy!
Today many words have been spoken, but the main thing has not been said, for me ... I wish, friend, that he was always ready to gallop for happiness on a horse, swinging his sword baldly, to break through for success in fate!
You can change the image: hairstyle, shoes or style. But only promise us that the age in the soul was the same: open, loyal and simple, whose humor is cheerful and good. You will succeed in life in the morning, and the rest - you will make money!
Friend! I wish you a lot of everything, but not in abundance! After all, when you get absolutely everything, then you will no longer have to strive for something and achieve something. May your life be interesting and eventful, and you will pass the baton of achievements to your own heirs someday!
Our friendship is like cognac - every year it becomes more expensive. I drink for that today, so that your great fate gives many reasons for solemn feasts, and drunk your success, so that you are satisfied with everything!
So much I want to wish you on your birthday. But I don’t want to repeat myself, therefore I wish something that no one would think of: healthy ... do not care! Learn to look through his prism at some things. As for the rest, everything is so cool with you!
Birthday toast to a friend funny
Today is a wonderful date, and, filling the glass to the brim, I wish that every moment of yours in this world will become sweeter than chocolate!
I wish you a life without defects and Hollywood special effects. So that the mood is always cool, not only on your birthday!
***
Better late than never! We have to congratulate you "retroactively". Well, let one more day in your life be festive, once again your face will light up with a smile and your heart will become warm. I wish you this happens every day!
An ancient Persian treatise says: "Four traits of a person lead to four consequences: stubbornness - to shame; irascibility - to repentance; backbiting - to enmity; laziness - to humiliation." Dear birthday boy! Until now, these features were not peculiar to your nature. So let's drink to the fact that they never appear.
What would I congratulate you on? ... I congratulate you on the fact that you have someone to congratulate you! This, you must admit, is important. And this is your merit. Because I have never met such an intelligent, cheerful, sociable person. Stay the same always! Congratulations!
Once a poet came to the Roman emperor and began to complain of poverty. The emperor listened to him and replied: "After all, Homer was much poorer than you, but how many people did he feed with spiritual food."
Today we can also say about our dear birthday man: how many he fed with spiritual food! So let's raise our glasses to his health and great talent!
Today is a holiday - the highest class,
After all, it's your birthday!
And friends are in a hurry to visit you -
Pour poetry on you tub
And make a healthy toast:
"It is a great honor to be with you!"
In every person, nature springs up either with cereals or weeds. So let’s drink to watering the first and exterminating the second in a timely manner! For that beautiful garden that the birthday man has grown in himself!
Happy Birthday to you! Hope and wish you the very best for the future. But the future is unknown to us. I also know that your past is full of success and joy. But the past should not rule over us. I wish you to live and enjoy every moment "here and now" - the only thing that truly belongs to us ..
For you, my little star, my tender, affectionate and sometimes thorny flower!
The journalist arrived in the most remote and highest mountainous Georgian village and asked the oldest 120-year-old aksakal if he felt his old age?
- Yes, of course I do! - answered the aksakal.
- In what? - asked the journalist.
- When I was 100 years old, I drank 20 glasses of wine with guests. When I was 110 years old, I drank 10 glasses of wine with guests, now I drink only 9 glasses ... So let's drink to live as long as this aksakal, and complain about old age just like this aksakal!
We wish you a birthday
A lot of happiness, health, good luck
And may everything take shape
Of your daunting tasks!
***
To the glory of you I present my toast:
I wish you love without return.
Let the sadness of autumn days
Leaves in the winter irrevocable.
January is frosty and snowy.
The beginning of the year. The peak of winter.
Your home is cozy. Your look is gentle.
In return, we give smiles.
And let the worries await us tomorrow.
Let's forget about them even for an hour.
On your birthday, as if by notes,
Let's play at the table now: "Do" - we drink to beauty, "Re" - for intelligence and kindness, "Mi" - for will and reliability, "Fa" - for tact and caution, "Salt" - for generosity without concealment, "La" - for the talent of a housewife!
Well, and "C" - with the last toast, we will finish very simply:
We raised six glasses, all "played out the notes"
On the seventh, we want to say: "WE SIT VERY WELL!"
***
Do not drink as if there is a reason
Kohl life is full of events:
Today is your name day
And how is it possible without wine?
Not to celebrate the holiday,
No, no, not at all for
And to congratulate from the bottom of my heart
And wish you everything!
When a star falls, they say that it is fortunate. I want to drink to have a starfall in your life.
There are many ways to covert negative criticism. For example, the owner of a newspaper says with a sarcastic smile:
- True, we do not speak about other newspapers.
But from this statement and the form of its pronunciation, it is already clear that other publications are of little value in comparison with his own.
This white-thread diplomacy is reminiscent of a child's. The child is asked:
- Whom do you love more, dad or mom?
- I won't tell, - the child answers and adds:
- And then dad will be offended!
If they ask me: who do I love more in this family - the owner or the mistress? I will not say either, because not only the owner will be offended, but also My wife! But since today is the hostess's birthday, no one should be offended by our love for her!
So, I suggest you drink to the newborn!
I think that if Mayakovsky saw our birthday girl, he would slightly change his poem, and it might sound like this:
Да будь я и негром преклонных годов.
And then without despondency and laziness
I would come to (Name) and, without any words,
Kneel down in front of her!
I suggest you drink to our charming birthday girl!
I wish your enemies to live 200 years.
And so that you dance on the grave of your enemies.
Militiamen raided the moonshiner with a search.
They knock on her door.
- Who's there? - asks the hostess.
- Open it! This is the police! We know that you have moonshine! ... We even know where you hide it!
- Wait, - asks the hostess, - I will now ... hide!
I rang the doorbell today, and they didn’t open it for a long time. "Probably, they hide the food!" - I thought. But entering here and seeing this table, I realized how wrong I was. I want to apologize for the bad thoughts and thank the birthday girl for this abundance!
Today we will be in the clouds: And let not only today, but always the sky above you be cloudless and clear! Happy holiday to you!
The ancient Greeks believed that human destiny has its own goddesses. They were called moira. Initially, it was believed that each person has his own moira. Then the number of these goddesses was reduced to three: Atropos, Clotho and Lachesis. The whole life of a person was connected with them. They were imagined as old women. Lachesis appoints the lot before birth, Clotho spins the thread of fate, Atropos inevitably brings the future closer and, cutting the thread, cuts off life.
So, dear hero of the occasion! I wish that Clotho would spin your thread of life strong and thick, Lachesis kept your lucky lot, helping to pass life's sharp corners and labyrinths, and Atropos's scissors became blunt, and she sharpened them for a very long time before creating the inevitable.
2013-01-29 09:07:25: Funny happy birthday toasts
Today is an unusual day for all of us,
The flow of all congratulations is endless.
Happy birthday to you, we congratulate you
We raise a toast to happiness and success.
2013-01-27 22:37:23: Funny toasts happy birthday
I raise my glass to express my hot feeling, warmed up by drinks, to the hero of the evening - (Name) and wish him a happy birthday. I wish you to be like light, to live for two hundred years, to sing songs and to die of love.
Let's break out loud "Hurray!" in his honor.
2013-01-27 21:07:21: Funny toasts happy birthday
The old man died. But before getting to heaven, he saw his whole life in the form of a sandy coast of the sea, and on the coast there are footprints. Looked closer and sees that the traces are either from one pair of legs, or as if two people are walking side by side. And he asked God: "Whose footprints are next to mine?" And God answered: "It’s me walking next to you." Then the old man took a closer look, and saw that in the happy moments of his life he walked next to God, and in difficult moments God left him. And the old man asked God: "Why did you leave me in difficult moments of life?" And God answered him: "You did not understand everything correctly, old man. When you felt good, I really walked alongside, and in difficult moments of your life, I took you in my arms."
Let's drink to our birthday boy, and if he has difficult moments in his life, then may God take him in his arms.
2013-01-27 16:48:16: Funny toasts happy birthday
To find out the price of a person,
you need to ask trouble about him,
the joy, the woman and the bottle.
Recently I asked trouble: "How does the NAME relate to you?"
Trouble replied: "He always overcomes me."
I asked Joy.
Joy replied: "He is not stingy, he shares with others."
I asked my wife
and she answered:
"Yes, NAME is empathetic and attentive.
All his life he gives me his love
does not waste it on others. "
And the bottle said: "Good friend NAME,
always, if necessary, will support my company. "
Well, I just have to confirm
this excellent characteristic.
And we hope that the NAME is really
- a companionable friend.
And we will always support him. So, NAME?
2013-01-26 05:24:03: Funny toasts happy birthday
A beautiful day has come today
We put a lot of effort into this.
They came to wish you a happy birthday,
And propose a toast for your appearance.
2013-01-25 08:38:06: Funny toasts happy birthday
Well, hero of the occasion, take out the biggest cake spoon and pour it for your guests! I raise the first toast, opening a string of glorious wishes in your honor! I drink to make your life bright, fun, tasty! Rejoice every day and especially every dream that comes true!
2013-01-25 05:05:19: Funny toast happy birthday
When Hemingway was asked
what is happiness, he replied:
- This is good health and poor memory!
We wish the same to the hero of the day!
2013-01-25 04:44:34: Funny toasts happy birthday
We'll only drink sweet wine
So that happiness also comes sweet.
And let the astringency add a little brightness,
And he will place all the accents in life.
2013-01-24 12:56:48: Funny toasts happy birthday
May the stars always shine for you
- a star of luck, a star of love,
friendship stars and cognac stars.
2013-01-23 23:11:10: Funny toasts happy birthday
I try to say my toast brightly
In the shower, let it become all too hot.
The fire of luck in life will kindle
And the beautiful side will only turn around.
2013-01-22 08:20:38: Funny toasts happy birthday
To live life wisely
You need to know a lot.
Remember two important rules to start with:
You'd rather starve than eat anything
And it is better to be alone than with just anyone!
2013-01-21 09:57:49: Funny toasts happy birthday
Dear birthday boy, we wish you a sea of smiles and greetings, a sea of flowers and admirers, a sea of joyful meetings, happy minutes and the Canary Islands on vacation!
2013-01-20 05:00:14: Funny toast happy birthday
Grandfather!
Live for a hundred years!
2013-01-17 13:29:45: Funny happy birthday toasts
May your life be cloudless
like the sky over a desert full of
like a jug of a hospitable Caucasian,
long and interesting,
like the Milky Way.
And may they always shine with happiness
your eyes are like polar lights over the pole!
2013-01-17 07:30:44: Funny toast happy birthday
Happy birthday to you, I congratulate you
I wish you sunny events.
Smile more often in your life,
And attract more bright days.
2013-01-15 19:37:45: Funny toast happy birthday
Dear N.! I have always admired your virtuoso performance of the roles of wife, mother, grandmother, mother-in-law and a wonderful person. Looking at you, you are once again convinced that it is not gold that is the true wealth on earth, but people. Happy birthday to you and I drink to you and your friendly family!
2013-01-15 06:38:37: Funny toasts happy birthday
Darling (oh) ... I wish you
on your birthday, health and mind.
No wonder they say: “If there was a mind, there would be a ruble.
There will be no mind, there will be no ruble ”.
And also baa happiness, joy and dream fulfillment!
2013-01-14 19:32:20: Funny happy birthday toasts
The hall is festively decorated
And everyone is very excited.
After all, we celebrate your holiday,
Another birthday.
2013-01-14 18:45:32: Funny happy birthday toasts
We have already heard pleasant things about you,
And they showered you with compliments.
Now I take the initiative,
And I will congratulate you now.
2013-01-14 14:39:40: Funny toast happy birthday
Our custom is to celebrate the day of the angel. In this habit, however, as you will now see, there is a deep meaning and great significance. In fact, the birthday, calling us to being, joins the newborn as a companion to all of humanity, while the day of the angel goes even further: it gives us certain rights and, in the person of the spiritually newborn, gives companions a narrower circle; I mean a Christian circle, a kindred circle, a family circle.
In addition, when giving a name, parents pin their hopes that this name will be borne with dignity by those on whom it is entrusted, that it will not be tarnished by anything. Thus, the best thing on our part would be to wish the hero of today that his name would continue to be associated with respect, that it would be pride, glory and adornment of the whole family. Then our respected birthday man will be satisfied and even happy. No wonder our proverb says: "A good name is better than wealth."
The name can haunt us like a dark shadow, like the brand of Cain, but it can also attract us like the gentle radiance of the sun.
Let us wish again that the hero of the occasion bears his name with dignity. For this we will drain our glasses.
2013-01-13 20:48:45: Funny happy birthday toasts
Since the last time I saw the birthday girl, she has become a whole year older, but mind you, she has not aged a bit.
For the secret of eternal youth that she possesses.
2013-01-12 05:34:59: Funny toast happy birthday
It's your birthday today,
Here are your friends,
And, carrying out the order,
On their behalf, I congratulate you.
Lead the team
You are well not the first year,
Your decisions are fair
We bring income to the company.
You are always on a creative flight,
For us, you are like a dear father.
We are ready to give to work,
And evenings and days off.
I’ll say it bluntly and without flattery:
We are behind you, like behind a wall.
Happy birthday together
Let's drink one at a time!
I wish you to be on your birthday, and always
Slightly drunk with happiness
And to have your wallet
Looks like a suitcase!
The child is asked:
- Whom do you love more, dad or mom?
- I won’t tell, - the child answers and adds: - And then dad will be offended!
If they ask me: who do I love more in this family - the owner or the mistress? I will not say either, because not only the owner will be offended, but also my wife! But, since today is the hostess's birthday, no one should be offended by our love for her! So, I propose to drink for the birthday of the birthday girl!
I want to wish you that it was always easy in your heart, and heavy in your pockets.
I want to wish my friend on his birthday the health of the marathon runner, the mind of an academician and the wealth of Bill Gates. Everything else you have: wonderful parents and reliable friends. For you! For our friendship!
Wish you a birthday
Give smiles and shine with happiness
Good luck wagon and luck bag
I wish your wallet to be full
A good boss and friendly colleagues
Health to you and all your loved ones forever!
The husband pours himself a glass of vodka. The wife tells him.
-We are going to visit. Be patient!!!
My husband forgot about patience, and plucked up….
So, while we haven't got enough, let's once again drink to the hero of this celebration !!!
I want to remember for you an old Caucasian toast.
Let's drink to make you live for 100 years.
And to be buried at 100 years old.
But you would not just die, you would be killed.
And not just killed, but with a dagger.
And not just stabbed, but because of jealousy.
And not just out of stupid jealousy, but for the cause!
Let's drink to this!
Be beautiful like Malvina
And how sweet Cinderella is!
Let them love you right away
Thirty-three heroes!
Once upon a time, the king of animals (also a lion) gathered his subjects (they are animals), they say:
- Smart to the right, beautiful to the left ...
When everyone went to their places, one monkey remained in the middle.
- What are you worth?
- And what - to burst for me ?!
So let's drink to the birthday girl sitting at the head of the table (just in the middle), but unlike the monkey, deservedly so.
The militiamen knock on the door to the moonshiner.
- Open it immediately! This is the police! We know for sure that you are making moonshine, we even know where you hide it!
- One minute! - says the hostess, - I'll just ... hide it!
When the door was not immediately opened for me today, I thought that they were hiding moonshine, but when I entered and saw the set table, I realized that I had to apologize for the bad thoughts. Thanks to the birthday girl for the trouble, for the abundance of goodies on the table! To her health and skill!
One wise old Georgian said:
- If you want to be happy one day - get drunk ...
-If you want to be happy for a week - get sick ...
- If you want to be happy for one month - get married!
- Do you want to be happy one year - get a mistress
If you want to be happy
all your life - live ON THE WHOLE COIL !!!
Be healthy, dear !!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Buddy, I wish you a birthday
Good luck basket and a barrel of luck
I wish the attention of the female
Watching hockey, football with friends
Money so that there is no shortage of them
And also so that your health is in order!
In the bus:
- Girl, are you going now?
- They only go crazy.
- Well, then - come out?
- They only get married.
- Well, what are you doing then?
- I'll climb out!
- Oh, sorry, I did not know that it was your birthday today!
... let your friends never forget the day when you came out into this world!
A nice girl stands at the bus stop. Suddenly, from a gust of wind, her skirt flies up. In embarrassment, bringing her back, she sees a man who does not hesitate to examine her.
“I see that you are not a gentleman. she says indignantly.
“I see that you are not a gentleman either,” he says regretfully.
Our birthday girl is not a gentleman either. But I say this without regret. Our birthday girl is a real woman who arouses the love and delight of men.
For our birthday girl.