Raising children in 2 years advice. Crisis at two years of age. The tasks of raising and educating children

16.10.2019

How to raise a boy- a question that occupies the minds of most mothers, regardless of the era, because any of them wants to nurture the support of the family and raise a real man. Unfortunately, boys do not grow up to be men with a capital "M" on their own. Today psychologists cannot come to a consensus as to who from the adult environment is more important in raising a son. However, if we analyze the family life of many cells of society, then we can conclude that the greatest influence from the moment of birth to the preschool period on boys is directly exerted by their mothers. Since for the first time the years of boyish life, when the character of the baby is laid, and the basic social skills are formed, it is the mother who spends a significant part of the time with the baby. It is the woman who, in practice, demonstrates to her son how to deal with the weaker half of humanity.

How to raise a boy without a father

Contrary to popular belief, a boy raised by women does not necessarily grow up to be a bum and a brat. The assertion that a boy raised without a father will grow up to be an inferior man is fundamentally wrong and, rather, affects single mothers as a self-fulfilling prediction. It is much worse when the upbringing of children takes place in a family where dad is an alcoholic, where constant quarrels and misunderstandings reign, where the father raises his hand against the mother, etc. Single-parent families, first of all, are those in which there is a lack of parental love and a lack of attention.

A family where a woman is raising a son naturally has certain problems and difficulties, but still it is better than raising children in state institutions.

How to raise a boy to be a real man - advice from psychologists

First of all, even in the absence of a father, who is a model of male behavior in a boy's life, there must be such an example to follow. For this purpose, you can use an uncle, grandfather, coach, teacher, brave cartoon character, etc. It is also recommended to give the baby to the so-called "male" sport. Thus, the more males will invariably be present in his life, the better.

How to raise a boy without a father? Mothers need to monitor their own attitude towards the stronger sex. Men should not be insulted in the presence of babies; also, when surrounded by men, a mother should not feel awkward or uncomfortable. After all, the child can feel this, as a result of which he will have mixed feelings caused by the inconsistency of the maternal attitude towards him and the surrounding men, the result of which will be misunderstanding and internal conflict.

How to bring up a boy to a woman herself? When raising crumbs without a father, it is not recommended to try to compensate him for the lack of male attention, at the cost of excessive "lisping" or fulfilling any of his whims. The most correct solution would be to teach your little son to be independent from an early age. If the little boy did not succeed the first time, then you do not need to immediately run to help him, it is better to invite him to try to repeat his own actions.

Also, mothers are advised to take the position of a "weak woman" more often when dealing with a baby. In other words, a woman in raising her son should not forget about her nature and be affectionate with him, a caring and loving parent, and not a magician who can solve absolutely all boy's problems, depriving the baby of the opportunity to try to cope with difficulties himself. Also, such behavior will help develop in the son the ability to sympathize, pity and empathize, and teaches him to be a caring, helpful, strong man.

In addition, it is necessary to often praise the child and tell him phrases with the following content: "you are my protector", "you will definitely succeed!" etc. Indeed, for a boy growing up without a father, such praise has a special meaning. With this behavior, women reinforce the importance of the boy in the eyes of his mother.

Thus, women who are interested in the question of how to raise a man from a boy, on the one hand, need to be feminine and weak, but on the other hand, they need to be known as a confident and strong-minded person. Mothers raising sons without fathers should not try to combine the female and male roles in themselves, they just need to be themselves. It is also not recommended to play the role of a victim of circumstances in front of your son.

Raising a boy, a future real man, should not be taken as a duty or a life obligation. As a result of the above, a boy raised by women in order to become a real man has all the prerequisites.

How to raise a boy correctly

It is important in the upbringing of a male crumbs to trust him and provide him with a certain amount of freedom. It is not recommended to forbid him to spend time with the children in the yard, communicate with other boys. It is necessary to provide the boy with the opportunity to independently find solutions from situations of confrontation.

How to raise a boy correctly? For this, parents should make some effort. One can single out one of the most common misconceptions among parents of both sexes associated with the difference in educational measures applied to sons and daughters. For some reason, individual mothers and practically most of the dads think that with a little boy one should not allow oneself to be "tender of the calf" and the so-called "lisp", believing that as a result of such behavior, a real man will not grow out of a boy. However, things are different in reality. Psychologists have cited evidence that among newborns of both sexes, boys are born weaker than girls, so they often need affection more than girls.

How to raise a 2 year old boy

The educational impact on boys, in any case, is based on the age characteristics of the baby. Therefore, it is necessary to start a conversation about how to properly raise a 2-year-old boy with an understanding of what a two-year-old baby is.

Up to one and a half years, there is no difference in the upbringing of babies of different sexes. It is at the age of two that the baby begins to understand that boys are different from girls. At two years old, the little boy is already beginning to realize that he belongs to the male sex and is designated himself accordingly.

Positive communication with him is of great importance in the upbringing influence on a two-year-old boy. You should not get angry or beat a crumb at the age of two, otherwise the boys will think that they are not loved, which can cause the first symptom of basic distrust of the world to appear.

By the age of two, boys not only improve their walking, but also develop the ability to run and jump, they learn to throw a ball, and their sense of balance improves. Therefore, the boy should not be forbidden to develop physically. It's not scary if, in an attempt to run and jump, he will fill himself a few bumps and get a couple of bruises.

At this stage, the boys develop an attitude towards domestic work - they have a desire to help their mother, a desire to sweep or vacuum, etc. Such aspirations of kids should be encouraged, otherwise you can discourage the hunt and in the future the child will simply "crawl out on his head."

In the two-year age period, it becomes necessary for the first time to develop separate prohibitions and certain norms of behavior. Contrary to the popular opinion of most psychologists, the baby begins to understand the word "no" at about the age of three, therefore, certain restrictions and a system of punishments for non-physical influence must be introduced already at the age of two.

How to raise a 2-year-old boy? It is not recommended to envelop the boy in excessive care and you should not put pressure on him beyond your own expectations. For example, if a two-year-old boy does not speak, this is not a reason not to sleep at night. It should be borne in mind that boys start talking later than girls. The main thing at this stage is the formation of motor activity and cognitive interests. And even if the baby does not draw as well as the neighbor's child, then you should not be upset. After all, each baby develops individually. And by their own expectations and the following dissatisfaction or frustration, parents demonstrate their dislike for the baby.

The main activity of two-year-old boys is play, which is actions with manipulative objects. It is through such a game that the baby learns the environment, objects in it and people. Directly in playing activities, it is easier to teach boys discipline, regimen, order, certain rules, hygienic skills and basic labor skills, how to handle objects, compare them.

It is important for parents to learn that boys should not be punished with cruelty or indifference. By this, the parents only demonstrate their weakness in front of the baby, which can subsequently turn into a weakness of the boy's character. The fortitude in boys must be brought up with the help of other methods.

Children should also be brought up in accordance with their gender. In other words, it is not recommended to use words such as "bunny" or "honey" in relation to the male crumbs. It is better to address the son as follows: "sonny" or "my beloved protector."

How to raise a 3 year old boy

In early childhood, the most important thing for babies of the stronger sex is to be in the zone of parental attention and care, first of all, of the mother. At the same time, dad should not shy away from raising a boy of 3 years old, citing the fact that the son is still small. At the age of three, boys develop a sense of security and a sense of openness to the environment. Therefore, the care of both parents is quite important for them.

How to raise a 3 year old boy? What principles should be based on the upbringing of a three-year-old boy? What measures of educational influence are acceptable, and which are better to refrain from using? The above questions become acute before adults when their male child reaches the age of three.

So, how to raise a man from a boy? To answer this question, you need to understand that at the stage of the age of three, there is already a clear differentiation by sex in comparison with the two-year period. Therefore, at this age, it is very important to try not to miss the formation of self-love in boys as a representative of the strong half of humanity. The son should think that he is a boy, and it is good to be a boy. This statement needs to be constantly reinforced and emphasized in praise. For example: "You are brave." And phrases like "weakling" need to be excluded from their own vocabulary in relation to their son.

How to raise a boy for a dad? Due to the fact that a baby at the age of three even more strongly feels his own belonging to the strong half of humanity. That is why the father for him becomes an object of admiration and increased interest. The boy strives to be like the head of the family in absolutely everything, he often tries on some of his things. In cases where the father is characterized by impatience and excessive irritability in relation to the baby, the son will feel awkward in his company and among other males. As a result, he will begin to look up to his mother and reach for her. Therefore, for fathers, the optimal time to start the educational process in relation to boys is precisely the age of three. You should not wait until the kids get older, and, therefore, grow wiser, as you can waste time. Therefore, mothers are advised to send their sons for a walk with their husbands, which will allow them to allocate free time for themselves, and for dads - to get to know their own child better.

The next principle of educational influence, which answers the question of how to raise a boy as a real man, will be to provide space for a three-year-old son. Here, first of all, we are talking about physical space. Since boys need free space for normal functioning and development. After all, they are constantly on the move. The bodily energy must be thrown off without fail; active games contribute to this.

There are also hyperactive children that require a slightly different approach. In order to understand how to raise a hyperactive boy, one should turn to the concept of hyperactivity. The syndrome of hyperactivity is the pronounced excessive mobility of babies and impulsivity. Such children are characterized by restlessness, they are constantly spinning, unstable in their hobbies (now they can do one thing, and literally in a minute - another), as a result of which many things are not brought to completion.

A boy of three years of age requires special treatment. Since one of the developmental crises falls at the age of three, at this stage the baby begins to clearly differentiate its gender and all this is complicated by hyperactivity. Therefore, if the question of how to raise a hyperactive boy has become the subject of special attention to the parents, then there is no need to fight the innate properties of the baby, it is necessary to correct only the manifestations of hyperactivity. There is no need to punish the boy for such manifestations, because it is not his fault that he still lacks self-regulation skills. You just need to help him learn to manage his own behavior and protect him from overwork. If active games are not suitable for a hyperactive baby, then the hyperactive baby should be taught to play a passive nature, for example, you can draw with him.

In addition, regardless of whether the son is hyperactive or not, he needs to feel parental love. Therefore, parents should show their love to their babies from time to time.

The age of three can be considered a cult of independence. Very often from kids at this age you can hear the phrase: "I myself." If the actions that the boy is trying to do cannot harm him, then you need to allow him to do them. For example, tying your own laces.

Also, in the educational impact, it is required to take into account the fact that boys, by their nature, are researchers. It is at the age of three that their research nature begins to manifest in the form of disassembled cars. Therefore, you should not scold them for broken toys. It is necessary to provide them with the opportunity to satisfy the research need, while observing the safety of the son.

How to raise a 4 year old boy

There are several simple principles aimed at solving the problem of how to raise a 4-year-old boy.

The first principle is that one should not be afraid to cripple the boy with affection and care. According to the data of numerous studies, male children have four times less praise and several times more punishments. Therefore, parents should remember that a four-year-old boy is still a child and not a small adult. He may be afraid of something, for him a trip to a new place may be an event in his life. It is important to understand that adult living standards, concepts of time and space are not suitable for a four-year-old baby.

In the age period, which is four years old, the emotionality of the baby begins to form. And parents at this stage demand from him restrained behavior or, with their careless phrases, forbid him to show emotions. This behavior is fundamentally wrong. A four-year-old boy is just a child, not an adult. Therefore, it is necessary to teach the boy to correctly express his own emotions.

It should also be borne in mind that boys at any age need more free space than the fair sex. Therefore, in order to balance the frantic hurricane of activity, it is recommended to purchase a sports corner for your son. Filial restlessness and noisiness must be treated with indulgence and patience. However, at the same time, one should still not forget to focus the baby's attention on the fact that he, as a man, needs to be balanced.

It is during the four-year period that the completion of the formation in boys of ideas about their own personalities as representatives of the male sex falls. Previously, the baby was guided by the external differences between the representatives of the strong half from the weak. At the age of four, the baby already clearly identifies himself with the male sex and understands how to behave.

How to raise a 5 year old boy

At the age of five, the ability to identify one's own person with a certain gender is already fully formed. Therefore, babies begin to actively strive to communicate with representatives of the beautiful half of humanity, but they are especially attracted to mothers. Indeed, for them, it is mom who is the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful. Often at this age, boys want to marry their mothers. Starting from the five-year period, in the life of the crumbs, there is a transition from childhood to school life. Therefore, at this stage, the upbringing of a 5-year-old boy should be aimed at developing the necessary life skills and optimizing his working capacity. Raising five-year-olds should lay the foundation and behavior.

How to raise a 5-year-old boy correctly? In the first turn, it is necessary to cultivate in him a joyful anticipation of school life, the boy should look forward to this moment with impatience. Thanks to this, parents will be able to correct the daily routine correctly and painlessly.

It should also not be forgotten that the future support of the family is being brought up. Therefore, it is necessary to continue the education of masculine qualities, but at the same time, not forgetting to surround the son with care and love. Fathers need to exert more influence, otherwise the boy will grow up as an insecure individual, withdrawn and uncommunicative. Also, the task of the dad is the physical development of his son.

Until the age of five, a boy can purchase toys that embody male professions (for example, plastic tools, various construction machines, constructors), and after overcoming the five-year milestone, he must begin to acquaint him with an elementary tool (for example, a screwdriver or a light hammer). Let the boy learn to help dad around the house.

It is also necessary to explain to the sons that they are stronger than the fair sex, that they should protect the girls and behave like knights with them. In this case, the dad should be an example of such behavior. He should help the woman in everything and take care of her (for example, carry heavy bags or give up a seat in transport).

How to Raise a Teen Boy

For parents, adolescence is perhaps the most serious stage in the upbringing of real men. This stage is especially difficult for mothers. It is hard for them to realize that until recently their little boy was an affectionate baby who constantly hugged them, and today he avoids motherly caresses. Suddenly, unexpectedly, the sweet boy turned into a grumpy teenager who treats his parents as an obstacle to his happiness. The worst behavior in this case will be attempts to put pressure on the child and endless readings of moralizing.

From about eleven to fourteen years old, something strange begins to happen to the boys. Previously cheerful and obedient, they become rebels. Unreasonable mood swings and disobedience become typical teenage behavior of boys.

Often, the first reaction of parents to such behavior is to punish and read lectures, which are not only completely useless, but also deepen the gap that grows in parent-child relationships. Punishments only exacerbate the misunderstanding between teenagers and their parents.

Often, due to their busyness, fathers neglect the upbringing of a teenager, forgetting that their role in it is quite large. Children have to form their own system of moral guidelines, based on watched films or TV shows, computer games, or on the example of the behavior of their peers. But life guidelines and moral values should be passed on to boys from their parents.

How to raise a teenager boy correctly? The main task of the adults responsible for the upbringing of adolescents is to communicate with them as often as possible. However, one should not substitute concepts when parents read notations - this is not considered communication, communicative interaction between adolescents and their parents should take place on the basis of equality.

Raising a child at 2 years old is a difficult stage in the life of parents. In the old days they said: "You need to educate while walking under the table." The main attention at this time should be paid to the development of the child's aesthetic and moral principles, speech, movement. Also, feelings and emotions, cultural and hygienic skills, full-fledged physiological development, strengthening of health and immunity should not be left aside.

How to raise a child at 2 years old

At this time, the child begins to walk and talk himself, which means that the field of his activity increases. The child climbs into tables, opens drawers, often falls, gets the first bumps in his life. This can not be avoided by any active child.

The child continues to study everything that is near him. At this age, the character of the little man is laid and the most active development of the child occurs intellectually, as well as the accumulation of his vocabulary.

Communicate with your child more often... Read poems, discuss aloud your own actions and his actions, answer the name of this or that subject. Moreover, the more often and more parents talk to the child, the faster their baby learns to pronounce words and phrases, and the more correct the phrases will be. The main mistake of parents is when they deliberately distort words in a conversation with a child. All this leads to tongue and bursting. Another mistake is to meet every phrase the child says with laughter.

V sleep show your child by example... Remember that your child is copying your behavior and communication style. Starting from the second year of his life, the baby consciously repeats the speech and every act of people close to him. The guys perfectly copy both the intonation heard in the voice, and the words heard, albeit unfamiliar. In families where quarrels, disputes, scandals are heard, where moral concepts are not paid attention, the child will reproduce exactly the same line of behavior. And in families where absolutely all family members talk peacefully, amicably and affably with each other, the correct concepts of family and morality are already being formed in the upbringing and development of a child at 2 years old.

Be understanding... When your child is naughty, crying, does not want to leave the playground, understand him and tenderly explain that you imagine how difficult it is to quit an exciting game, but it's time to go home. The idea is to make it clear to the baby that you are on his side. Do not be annoyed, do not swear, even if you are uncomfortable in front of other parents.

Set the rules and a certain rhythm of life from this age. If the daily routine is present in the upbringing of a child of 1–2 years of age, then it will be easier for him later. When a child lives according to a regimen, then at a certain time he has an appetite, and he gladly eats everything that is offered to him, falls asleep calmly and without whims; he spends a lot of time outdoors. In addition to all this, at an early age, for normal physiological development and prevention of overwork, it is simply necessary to correctly alternate active games and rest. In most cases, it is lack of sleep or overwork that is the cause of children's whims and tantrums, disobedience.

Strong, healthy baby sleep is of great importance, since it predetermines the correct development of the nervous and mental systems. Remember that sound sleep should be preceded by a balanced state of the baby, so avoid active and active games immediately before bedtime. If the child is stubborn, then you need to captivate him with something. If you do not want to go to bed, then, changing the child's clothes, explain what you will do after sleep, where you will go, what interesting things you will see. After all, this is more pleasant and much easier than the order "go to bed." And, you see, it is more associated with the principles of raising a child at 1-2 years old.

Praise the child for good behavior. Establish basic rules and praise your baby for following them. Model the correct behavior. Show your child patiently how to behave. Create the conditions for good behavior, such as planning the space for your child to be comfortable with playing and collecting toys.

Tell your baby what he can do instead of talking about what he doesn't know how to do. For example, if a child wants to eat candy before dinner, do not say that it is harmful, say that he can now eat an apple or an orange.

Give your child the choice... This will allow the baby to feel some freedom, and you - to keep the process under control. Offer your child several blouses to choose from when you go for a walk, a few books when you go to bed, etc.

Try to avoid situations that can trigger whims, a "flash" of disobedience. For example, if you have planned to meet with a friend and go to her with your child, then do it outdoors, for example, in a park. You don't have to wait for him to behave calmly while you chat over a cup of tea in a cafe - the baby will simply be bored.

Help your child learn about the world around him... He is interested in everything, he wants to touch everything, try it "by the teeth", listen to how each object plays, what it feels like, what can be done with it. Don't bother the little explorer! Do not take everything from him, forbidding him to touch a book, a pen, or a cosmetic bag. If there are objects in the house that are really dangerous for the baby (sharp objects, a lighter, knives, etc.), just exclude them in advance, put them in places inaccessible to his hands and eyes.

Teach your child to eat and dress independently... Do not rush to take away the spoon from the baby, but encourage his desire for independence. When you put something on a child, do not rush and do not be nervous, do not scold the baby. He will learn everything if he will calmly observe your leisurely actions.

The right choice of toys

For the upbringing and development of a child at 2 years old, you need to buy educational toys. A kid from 2 years old begins to play around with various plots with the help of toys. The parents' job is to teach and organize this or that game. Then, with the help of toys, the baby will begin to comprehend everything new in this world faster and better.

Each child has an individual character from birth. Education must begin from a very early age, so that the period of personality formation passes most easily. As for the upbringing of a child 2 3 years old, psychology gives a variety of advice. This is due to the fact that the development of the child should be harmonious and versatile. The behavior of a three-year-old is not a determinant of how he will grow up. It is determined by temperament, not corrected by character.

Children up to 3 years old do not demonstrate how well-educated they are. Behavior is made up of the characteristics of temperament: the formation of personality takes place. The preferences and worldview of the crumbs change several times a day, which complicates the task of the parents. The psychology of a child at 3 years old has its own characteristics:

In the third year of life, the highest priority should be given to the child's behavior in society.

Try to convey information to the baby in the form of a game. Strict prohibitions negatively affect the educational process and can cause inappropriate behavior, hysterics. Observe the daily routine. Refrain from sorting out the relationship with your spouse in the presence of children. They react negatively to such expressions of emotion on the part of their parents.

The difference between boys and girls

After two years, children begin to realize their gender. Highlight the differences with appropriate clothing. The fastest sexual awareness occurs in the children's team. It is noticeable in the division of preschoolers into groups for communication.

The peculiarities of the upbringing of boys are that they need to be explained from an early age about the inadmissibility of fights with girls, about the role of the protector and the future head of the family. This is most easily explained if the father is an example to his son.

It is too early for girls to instill special skills. Encourage their passion for fitting and decorating. Girls often imitate their mothers and seek to help clean the house or prepare meals. Buy them themed sets of toys that simulate kitchen appliances and household appliances. This will allow the baby to try on the role of the housewife at any time.

Features of the organization of classes

In the age period of 2-3 years, it is necessary to deal with the child in many ways. At this time, education should be:

aesthetic;
moral;
physical.

You have to instill in the crumbs the simplest self-service skills and give courtesy lessons. Three years is the optimal time for this.

The main mistake parents make is planning long hours of classes and trying to learn a lot of new things for them. A three-year-old needs only 10-15 minutes to acquire new knowledge, after which it is necessary to change the type of activity.

If the baby is not in the mood to study, replace the lesson with reading, listening to musical compositions and watching educational films. The activity should be calm so that the change in the daily routine is not felt.

Psychologists recommend using sensory didactic games. They bear good fruit, developing the baby in several directions at once: they improve fine motor skills, improve imagination and teach how to build logical chains. An example of such a game is mosaic. First, lay the patterns together, and then let the baby compose the picture on its own.

Features of different temperaments

Often, problems and disobedience arise from the wrong approach to raising a child. If you do not take into account the individual characteristics of your child, then very often you will encounter misunderstandings and tantrums. All people are divided into 4 groups according to the type of temperament, for each baby it is laid from birth. At the same time, there are no ideal representatives of this or that group. The division takes place according to the principle of the predominance of traits characteristic of one of the temperaments.

The main task of parents is to form a character in the child, which will smooth out the shortcomings of temperament. An individual approach will allow you to do this as efficiently and gently as possible. Try to avoid direct and unreasonable bans.

Prohibitions: conscious and not

With an outright ban, any child of three years old will protest, but this educational moment cannot be completely dispensed with. By prohibiting, you establish a "border" that cannot be crossed. You can use restrictions to correct the behavior of the crumbs in society and to protect it.

Parents often use inhibitions out of habit. In childhood, they were often limited themselves, and they consciously create a framework for their child. Filter information and only prohibit what is really necessary.

Each limitation involved in the educational process needs to be explained. He must have a clear reason to speak out. Tell us about the consequences of breaking the ban. These should not be threats of reprisals, but constructive and logical conclusions. For example, in a situation where you refuse a child to buy ice cream: the reason will be weak immunity, the explanation is frequent illnesses, and the consequences of the violation are long-term treatment.

There is a group of irrational prohibitions that need to be excluded from the upbringing process. Unconscious limitations have reasons:

The principle "you - me, I - you". The child behaved badly during a walk, for which the parents deprived him of sweets or did not buy the previously promised toy.
Envy. Beautiful clothes, delicious food and good toys - many children of the 90s were deprived of these benefits. Now they completely without reason put restrictions before children that do not have a protective function and an educational component.
Increased anxiety and overprotectiveness. Most often, this reason pushes mothers to unconscious prohibitions. Women try to protect the first-borns and preschool children with poor health from everything. For this reason, many children do not communicate with their peers, do not have a dog, bicycle, skateboard, etc. at home.

In the first 3 years of a child's life, many surprises await parents - both pleasant and not so much. The long-awaited first smile, the first tooth, the first step, the first word ... These events are remembered for a lifetime and cause sincere joy.

And now a certain daily routine is gradually established: diet, walks, developmental activities. Such joyful chores require certain knowledge from the parents and the people around the child.

Raising children under 3 years old

In the first years of life, a child needs help in speech development, knowledge of the world around him. For this, adults themselves must become more responsible and disciplined.

Correctly selected toys, age-appropriate games will be an excellent tool in raising a baby.

The period up to 3 years will be accompanied not only by pleasant chores, but also by children's whims. Every parent will sooner or later face disobedience and crying. This is the nature of a child's development.

Build vocabulary

At the age of one year, the baby begins to actively memorize words. During this period, the mother is required to:

conduct classes with the child;
comment on all actions;
name objects and tell their purpose.

Do not despair if the child does not repeat new words - he will still remember them. Does not speak - does not mean that he does not understand. The kid will fulfill any request (bring a doll, take a pillow, give dad a book).

At 2 - 3 years old, many children (but not all) have a vocabulary that consists of nouns, verbs, definitions and some adverbs that are familiar and understandable to them:

wardrobe items;
personal care products;
furniture;
animals and birds;
plants;
names of some abstract objects (breeze, sound), phenomena;
the names of their own actions (or those around them);
names of signs of objects, sensations, states, etc.

Knowledge of the surrounding world

At the age of 3 years, the baby is actively exploring the world around him. Everything that surrounds him attracts attention. The child wants to taste, feel, and explore how to use them.

It happens that curiosity leads to unpleasant consequences: falls, bruises, broken toys. How should parents act? The following technique is effective:

Take part in the learning process son or daughter. Did your kid want to climb on top of the closet? - Climb and you. Want to pull out a drawer drawer? - Help him. The child must master the maximum knowledge, because his development depends on it.
Do not forbid exploring the world... If the child cannot take something, make sure that this thing does not catch his eye.
If it happened that the child took a hammer, mother's favorite plate, wallet - let him examine the object and only then put it away.
In case of falls, do not rush to the rescue right away.... It is unlikely that he will hit hard, and you should also not be afraid of fractures. Fall is an inevitable stage for the development of orientation in space, balance. The main task of the parent is to allow them to overcome the obstacle on their own. It is not correct to believe that not paying attention means leaving the child alone with his problems. This reaction has a good educational effect. But verbal support will not hurt.

Video: Psychology of Inhibitions

Independence

Children after a year can already independently cope with a spoon. Therefore, the parent should focus on this. To speed up the process of mastering kitchen appliances, do not prohibit the baby from picking them up. Let me explore, twirl, play with a spoon. If you unsuccessfully use it, you can not scold the child for a smeared T-shirt.

Does the kid play around at the table? - Remove the plate. The child soon realizes that such behavior is unacceptable at the table.

In order for your child to learn how to dress, you should be patient, not focus on the process. Dress the child leisurely, comment on your actions, name the sequence of dressing things. Praise you for taking the initiative, even if your attempts to pull on your pants have been unsuccessful.

Under the age of 3, you can also give simple instructions:

To water flowers;
sweep the floor;
remove toys, etc.

You need to be patient with the fact that the process is delayed and does not lead to a result - the child is just learning.

But what about the case when the baby has already learned to perform some action on his own (dress, eat), but asks his mother about it? Do his request, maybe he is not in the mood.

Games and toys

Children 1 year old are already splashing with pleasure in the water, so all conditions should be created for this. Fill the bathtub with water, pour it into the basin, in the summer - into the inflatable pool. Give toys and containers (to overflow water). Let the kid play for fun.

From a young age, the baby is drawn to the sandbox, which means that it is worth making sure that the sand is clean. Organize the delivery of "building materials", attract dad to the construction of a sandbox made of boards. Allows the kid to play with sand as much as he wants.

When choosing toys for a baby, it is worth considering his age characteristics.At 1 year old it is:

balloons;
balls;
cubes;
soft toys (animals);
pyramids;
nesting dolls;
dinnerware set;
musical toys.

The main task is to choose objects without small details, sharp corners.

For a two-, three-year-old child, buy:

cars, airplanes, dolls;
developing rugs;
building sets with large elements (wooden constructor or Lego);
kits for modeling;
puzzles (large) and other simple games.

Take part in games. Hide and seek, search for a lost object, joint nesting of pyramids - the choice of activities with the baby is huge.

The development of speech and the age of "why"

After two years, the child begins to ask a lot of questions, and it seems to the parents that they will never end. Do not turn away from the child. Explain everything that interests him, because mom and dad are the main sources of knowledge. It is impossible to evade answers or not pay attention to the child.

All of the baby's vocabulary, expression and intonation is a reflection of your speech. Therefore, it is in your power to expand it as much as possible. If a child asks “What is this?”, Do not limit yourself to just naming an object. Explain what it is for, how it is used.

Adults are often not sufficiently aware of how important their communication with the child is. The age of "why" is an important stage in the formation of speech skills, therefore it is so important to know some techniques:

do not distort words, minimize the use of diminutive forms;
you should not imitate the child if he pronounces the words incorrectly, all the more inappropriate is ridicule and imitation of language mistakes;
it is necessary to develop the child's ability to express his thoughts and emotions in words, respectively, an avoidance of excessive gesticulation is required.

The development of speech is an individual process and it is pointless to be equal to other children, but it is necessary to observe the child.

Crisis of two years

Children grow up and now the kid, who was recently so attached to his parents, touching them with his smile and obedience, becomes a little tyrant. Any games and activities cause protest, the words of the mother are perceived with hostility.

This is how the child enters a new stage of development. This transition period is marked by a crisis of 2 years.

Causes

A whole complex of reasons provokes the emergence of a crisis for 2 years:

striving for independence;
mastering a new scheme of interaction with the outside world;
opening up new possibilities and boundaries of what is permitted.

Children's tantrums, the manifestation of which can be very different: lying on the floor and screaming, the child does not eat well, becomes whiny, beats others. The most harmless situation can provoke such behavior.

It is important for parents to remember that the reason does not lie in some situational factor. The problem goes much deeper. The crisis of 2 years is an important stage, as a result of overcoming which the child receives the necessary knowledge and skills, rising to a level higher in his development.

Small manipulator

A child's hysteria is a real test for parents. Here in the store he falls to the floor when he refuses to buy the toy he likes. Many mothers are lost in such a situation and do not know how to act correctly.

Knowledge about the child, his character, temperament will help to cope with the crisis situation. For one, the technique of talking with a parent alone will be useful, for another, a stern shout in the presence of others will be more effective. In any case, it is impossible to follow the lead of a small person.

On the dangers of parental compliance

Many parents tend to stop a child's tantrum with concessions. A child struggling in screams and tears, of course, is not the most pleasant sight. However, having conceded once, adults lose their power in the eyes of the little manipulator.

He begins to feel omnipotent and realizes that now his tears are his main weapon, with which he will achieve what he wants.

Parents should understand that this path of upbringing is extremely dangerous, therefore it is better to prevent such a situation. To do this, the child needs to explain in an accessible form what is permissible for him, and what there is an absolute prohibition on. And it is necessary to adhere to this line of behavior constantly.

Psychology and little tricks

Parents, of course, may be aware of the need for such a stage of development, but in fact this time is difficult, requiring patience and knowledge of some tricks:

The child should feel the support of the parents.... She should be unobtrusive. There is no need to demand specific behavior from the child. This will only exacerbate an already difficult situation.
Be persistent but fair... If an adult decides to refuse something to a child, then his "no" should remain so until the end. There is no place for concessions.
Tantrum is a demonstrative event, therefore, the fewer viewers a child has, the faster his seizure will stop.
If an adult realizes that the child is starting to be capricious, then it is important to switch his attention and distract him in time to something interesting and more useful.

Children grow up quickly and forget many moments. After some time, their memory erases both tantrums and whims ... Adults should learn this technique and not take to heart the costs of the next stage of development of their children.

Raising children for the first 3 years of their life is a fascinating and difficult process at the same time. A small person actively studies the world around him, he still has a lot to learn. And adults only have to gain patience and knowledge in order to make this period intense, spend it with benefit and leave only the most pleasant memories.

Video: Consultation with a specialist

Good afternoon, dear readers! I get a lot of questions about parenting. I constantly emphasize that up to 5 years old, a baby should encounter inhibitions as rarely as possible. Many are beginning to be indignant, believing that I am introducing complete permissiveness ...

I am not at all worried about my youngest son, who will turn two in a few months. I am not worried that until the age of 18 he will not learn the word "no", and will not be able to perceive the prohibitions until retirement. But I hear how many mothers worry about their children ... Therefore, I write on this topic again and again. Today we will talk in more detail about boundaries, and how to raise a child at 2 years old.

So, the child always has prohibitions and boundaries. And in 2 years, and in a year, and even in several months. Another question is how we define these boundaries. Are we shouting ominous "no" or are we showing the prohibitions as gently as possible?

And again I emphasize: everything that I will write about here applies only to kids under 5 years old. At the age of 5-7 years, there is a significant leap in the development of the child. And after this age, the attitude towards prohibitions should change (on the part of the parents). If the parents under the age of 18 do not change anything, and talk with the teenager as with a one-year-old toddler ... Then big problems really begin. But we are talking about toddlers. It is very important!

This terrible permissiveness

How tired I am of responding to outraged comments on my posts, which threaten my children with a terrible future because of our "permissiveness"! I'm tired of it, because almost every post in social networks about my attitude to the oil spilled for years or about harmless pranks, there is someone who is “not indifferent”. And every time you have to write the same thing. Sometimes you just want to ignore the comment ... But then I understand that it is important to repeat it. Repeat many times. So that some of the mothers have old stereotypes destroyed.

So, the good news is that your child is not in danger of permissiveness. It is simply impossible to organize it. Impossible. If you are a normal mom, you will not let your baby play with fire, climb out of the window, run along the road, etc. So your child's behavior will have boundaries anyway. And he will begin to master them from birth.

From birth, a child is faced with the fact that life is not always the way it would be desirable. Even if you practice, breastfeed at the first squeak and carry the baby around the clock. From the first months, something is already impossible for the child.

For example, a baby should not be rolled over at the edge of the sofa. If he rolls over like this, he will fall. However, no normal mother will try to convey this to a three-month-old baby.

Imagine a mother waving her finger threateningly in front of such a baby and saying: "Impossible !!" And then, when the child did fall down, she said: “Why don't you obey ?! How naughty you are! Now you will know! I see that you understand everything! You already have smart eyes, and you can pronounce “aha” very well! You understand everything, but you don't obey! Who will grow out of you ?! "

Roughly the same thing happens even when the child is one year old. I wrote about this in the article "". This situation continues in 2 years. And even longer. Although at 2-3 years old, the baby already reacts to many prohibitions. And it seems that he is already so smart ... Reacts to many of your words and prohibitions, but ... Not to everything.

What's wrong with prohibitions?

Until the age of 5-7 years, the child's brain is not yet mature enough for an adequate perception of inhibitions. This does not mean that until the age of 5 you will not utter the word "no" at all. Unfortunately this is not possible. But you need to pronounce this word as rarely as possible.

Our oldest daughter is now almost 4 years old. And she already well knows "no". And even - lo and behold! - in most cases she listens well. But even now, at 4 years old, any prohibitions are difficult for her. And if I start saying "no" often, whims, tantrums and all the signs of overexcitement begin. This is 4 years old! What can we say about a baby of two years old?

In fact, at 1-3 years old, prohibitions are not so scary - the child easily ignores them. At this age, the correct strategy sounds like this: "You cannot scold or scold the kid for not listening."

Children under 5 years old should not be scolded at all. At this age, the kid will never understand that you "love him very much, but are angry at his bad behavior." And the only thing that you will achieve - the child will feel bad and unloved.

How to set boundaries

The parenting strategy is very simple. Extremely simple. If a three month old baby is lying near the edge of the couch - what do you do? That's right, take it and take it to a safe place. And in general, try not to put the baby on the sofa. Similarly, we react to the behavior of a 2-3-year-old toddler.

Of course, it is much more difficult to carry a two-year-old from the edge. But the essence remains the same. And gradually, as it grows, the little one learns to perceive these boundaries.

If the kid grabs something forbidden and dangerous, we select it. Climbs on something too high or fragile - we shoot. Behaves inappropriately - we take it to another place.

Ideally, distract the little one with something more interesting. This is the best you can do. Does not work? Just have mercy. Yes, the year-old will yell, kick and express his protest in every possible way. But you still calmly and lovingly take him from a dangerous place ...

What is important to pay attention to?

There should be as few bans as possible! Try to remove everything that is forbidden and dangerous where the baby cannot reach.
When the baby is approaching the forbidden one, you can say softly “no need to take” or something like that. Shake your head. But softly, without threat or aggression.
Did the kid climb onto the forbidden closet anyway? Calmly shoot it from there. And help him experience the full range of emotions. Help with your compassion, love and patience.
Gradually, the child will get used to them. Especially if he is already two years old. Gradually, a connection will form in the baby's head: if you climb in, they will still be removed. Therefore, it makes no sense to go there. But this connection will not have an admixture of fear!
However, from time to time the children "check the boundaries" again. And your task is to react to this again calmly and lovingly.
If the child nevertheless broke something, got dirty, smashed ... It is not his fault. You didn't keep track of it. It is your responsibility, not his. Therefore, do not scold the child, but yourself.
And if no one was hurt - and do not scold yourself. Simply wipe up the puddle, clean the closet, or pick up the pieces from the floor. Small troubles are not worth worrying about.

The older the child is, the more likely they are to respond to your verbal warning. And at 3 years old, many children are ready to obey their parents. No shouts and threats! But ... not always. And this, too, must be understood. When a child at 3-4 years old really wants something, he will ignore your requests. Again, your task is not to scold or demand obedience.

How to communicate with a 3-4 year old baby if he does not want to go home, wash his hands or take off his boots at home -. Here you can already try to negotiate. But at 2 years old it still doesn't make sense.

Therefore, if our youngest son starts pouring water from the bath on the floor, I just pull him out of the bath. Throwing food out of a plate? I take the plate. Throwing sand at children in the playground? I take him out of the sandbox. All this can be done calmly, without threats. And the boundaries were met, and my mother remained loving.

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