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Aggressive behavior of a 17 year old adolescent than to treat. Aggressive behavior of adolescents: causes, correction and prevention of adolescent aggression. Two sides of the same coin

Until recently, the baby laughed sweetly and pulled his arms towards you so that you hug and kiss him, but today he angrily answers all your requests and comments? Unfortunately, many families know firsthand what teenage aggression is. And if you do not pay attention to this problem in time and do not rein in the child, in the future the student may generally get out of control. And then neither threats, nor punishment, nor rewards will help.

The reasons for the appearance of aggression in a child

In fact, there are many reasons why aggression is manifested in adolescence. But first, parents should understand that out of nowhere, anger, hatred and similar feelings just do not arise. Therefore, if you are faced with this state of affairs, you should first find the reason. And only after that can an incredibly difficult struggle with the character of the student begin. And it is not a fact that you will be able to defeat (re-educate) a difficult teenager.

Family parenting or when did you miss the moment?

Many experts believe that it is mom and dad who are to blame, and not society, the environment, school and other similar factors. After all, the perception of the world by a person who is still unformed in the physical and moral plane depends on how parents behave. A teenager, unfortunately, does not always understand that adults can also make mistakes, deceive, and get frustrated. They react to everything very sharply. And even the slightest remark can cause hysteria. Therefore, you should reconsider the way you behave at home.

  • Excessive overprotection

When the parents do not allow the student to take a step, they do everything for him, the teenager can rebel. He wants to decide for himself what is better, where and with whom to go for a walk, what things he needs. And adults are not an authority for him. Most often this happens if mom and dad cannot agree on how to properly raise a child.

  • Lack of attention

Aggression for teenagers is one of the ways to attract your attention to his person. If, for example, mom is busy going to beauty salons with her friends, and dad spends all the time at work, the student feels abandoned. And only by being rude to his father and mother, he begins to understand that he is really loved.

  • Violence in family

Perhaps one of your family members is dismissive of the rest, is rude, spreads his hands, morally or physically humiliates. There are two options here as to why a teenager might develop aggression. The first is that in this way the child tries to protect himself from a person who poses a danger to him. In the second case, your child copies the behavior of his father, grandfather, uncle, that is, a person who is an aggressor.

  • Second child

Often, aggression in a teenager manifests itself in relation to his brother, sister. It seems to him that his parents love him less. The situation is aggravated if mom and dad more often praise the second baby, compare them. But even if a teenager is the only child in the family, he may be jealous of Sasha, Masha or Katya, whom you constantly set as an example for him.

  • Poverty

Lack of money and lack of satisfaction of needs - this can also be the cause of teenage aggression. In this case, the child will test against this state of affairs. He wants a new mobile phone, nice sneakers and jeans, a powerful computer, and his parents cannot afford such expensive purchases.

Some children try to find a job to help mom and dad, while others demand to buy and get angry if they were not given a new toy. And if the parents still allocate money and give the teenager what he wants, the student begins to show his character even more, testing the rest for strength.

  • Wealth

Wealthy families often face the manifestation of aggression in adolescents, especially if the child never knows anything about refusal. It is difficult for him to understand why he should not shout at others if he is in charge. By the way, schoolchildren treat badly not only their parents, servants, but also less well-to-do people.

  • Traditions

Have you ever noticed that in strict families, where all members follow long-established traditions, children riot as teenagers. They do not like to walk in the same clothes as their parents, to do the same work, or to have fun and rest. They, by their very nature, are isolated from society. Classmates do not accept such people into their circle, considering them freaks. And being an outcast in society is the hardest thing a little man unprepared for adulthood faces.

Biological factors: when hormones are to blame

Usually, such changes in behavior occur at the age of 14-16. A serious restructuring begins in the body of a teenager, a hormonal boom occurs. And if you do not send your son or daughter in the right direction, do not take something serious, the child will begin to show his "I".

The first reason why he decides to do this is the wrong perception of the world. Adolescence is the time when a student begins to form his own model of behavior. He is no longer the mama's boy he was before. And there are two areas in which relationships with adults can develop. He either begins to respect people who are older and smarter, or shows aggression towards them. By the way, aggression in a teenager can be a common reaction to exactly the same behavior of other people.

Parents rarely notice when the relationship with their child begins to deteriorate. Usually they miss the moment, so they are busy with more serious problems. And only when an aggravation occurs, dad and mom begin to make attempts to fix the situation.

Finding yourself and your place in life is the hardest part of growing up. White and black, good and evil. During this period, teenagers divide the world into two parts. And there is no middle ground for them. Maximalism is inherent in every person, but in this case it is too pronounced. The student does not want to perceive the world as it is, and tries to change himself, his environment. And if the parents are not perfect, but they have their own vices, the child repels them.

The second reason why adolescent aggression is manifested is increased sex drive. It was during this period that girls and boys develop an interest in the opposite sex. It is difficult for them to control and restrain themselves. But it was enough to enroll a son in boxing, a daughter in a dance, so that they threw out the accumulated energy there.

What is teenage aggression

Often, parents cannot distinguish between aggression in adolescents and just a bad mood, laziness, and apathy. So, for example, if a student does not want to talk to his father or mother, this does not mean that he hates them or is trying to ruin their lives. Perhaps he has some problems, and he is simply afraid to talk about them. Panic should be raised if the child:

  • tries to cause moral or physical harm to the victim;
  • hurts animals, deliberately damages objects and living organisms.

Thus, adolescent aggression is a destructive behavior of a child, which fully or partially contradicts the rules and norms prevailing in society. At the same time, this person tries to destroy, harm animate and inanimate objects, cause a breakdown or psychological imbalance.

The child may express his feelings in different ways. It can be either ordinary depression or an explosion of emotions. If the student is always calm and agreeable, this behavior should alert mom and dad. This state indicates that the student is either accumulating aggression, or he is simply not able to defend his point of view. And in fact, and in another case, it is fraught with consequences.

How aggression manifests itself in adolescent schoolchildren

Teenage aggression manifests itself in different ways. Someone insults classmates, someone needs to prove their physical superiority. Some try to offend those who are weaker, others only sharply respond to advice or comments. You should find out how the child behaves not only at home, but also at school, on the street, with friends. Have you paid attention to how he treats other people. So, based on this, several types of aggression are distinguished:

  • Physical

Physical aggression in adolescents is perhaps the most dangerous. The main goal of such a child is to hurt and harm another person. The problem is that the student may not even be aware of his mistake. He will beat the victim until he loses consciousness, without feeling then guilty or regretful. It is not without reason that it is believed that the most terrible tyrant is a child.

  • Verbal

Do you think that verbal skirmishes with adults and peers are not such a terrible vice? In fact, some spiteful remarks by children can drive the victim to a nervous breakdown. It is enough for a group of high school girls to tell a classmate that she is scary, stupid, fat, and so on according to the list, the child may not stand it. Often such "jokes" and bullying lead to suicide.

How does verbal aggression usually manifest in a teenager? This can be a rebuff, criticism of other people's actions or behavior, foul language, anger, ridicule, resentment, hatred. It is not uncommon for a student to shout out curses or threats towards other people.

  • Expressive

A person who is driven out of himself conveys his attitude towards others with the help of movements, threatening grimaces, facial expressions. For example, a teenager can show an indecent gesture, a fist, and make a displeased face. This is often accompanied by profanity.

  • Straight

The child reacts directly to an object that causes unpleasant feelings in him: anger, resentment, irritation, apathy, hatred. In this case, both physical (beating, self-harm) and moral violence (insult, threats) can be used.

  • Indirect

The aggressor breaks down not on the culprit of his bad mood, but on people or objects that will not be able to react to it in any way. For example, a student was given a two. Arriving home, he can offend his younger brother, a pet, break his favorite toy.

Situational and purposeful teenage malice

Why does the child show aggression towards other people? Is he always to blame for this and is it worth punishing him if he breaks down? The fact is that sometimes circumstances force him to fight, screams and tantrums. Therefore, first you need to figure out what caused such a reaction.

  • Situational or reactive

Imagine that your child is being rude in transport, school, or at the store. How will he react to this behavior? That's right, the teenager will try to verbally rebuff the offender. And only in rare cases will he be able to remain silent, avoiding conflict. In this situation, one cannot say that the child is aggressive and overly emotional. Yes, he did not behave quite correctly and correctly. But how would you react to a situation like this? Each person, regardless of upbringing and social status, has aggressiveness.

  • Purposeful aggression or accumulation of emotions

If a child is constantly rude, fights at school, offends others, does not respect his elders, then he is aggressive. This behavior is not considered normal. In this case, the student needs the help of a specialist. And if aggression in adolescence is directed in the right direction, you can develop a true leader. It will be easier for such a person to adapt to any difficult situation. He will easily subjugate the entire team and become a good boss. If everything is left to chance, in the future the child may take up crime. He will be interested in humiliating other people.

Who is the child mad at

An important role is played by who the aggression is directed at. Often people mistakenly believe that schoolchildren can only harm other persons. The problem lies in the fact that adolescents often blame themselves for all troubles and conflicts, angry at their appearance, character, demeanor. There are two directions of aggression:

  • Heteroaggression

The student is aggressive towards people, animals and things around him. He fights, insults, humiliates others and takes special pleasure from it. Often, the child uses profanity, without being embarrassed by brothers, sisters and older persons.

  • Autoaggression

In this case, the aggression of adolescents is directed not at some outsider, but specifically at themselves. It is not uncommon for schoolchildren to commit suicide or to develop serious illnesses caused by psychological disorders.

Who is at risk

  • Robber boys

It is difficult for single mothers to raise and control their sons. Excessive love and care of the female half of the family, lack of male attention and a firm paternal hand - all this leads to the fact that the child feels like a king. Nobody contradicted him before, so why are they teaching now?

Also at risk are teenagers whose fathers are tyrants and aggressors. At the same time, women in such a family do not have the right to vote, they always and in everything obey others. The son in such an environment will try to resist the pope. And if the older family member does not suppress the rebellion and break the character, then the child will be an exact copy of the father.

  • Rebel girls

With the fair sex, the situation is completely different. Aggression of adolescents manifests itself in the event that the mother is the authority in the family. At the same time, the father is too soft. The girl begins to copy the behavior of a rude, assertive, domineering woman. Plus, such daughters grow up to be very poor housewives, who do not know how to cook, eat, or look after the children, and their house is always a mess. They are accustomed to the fact that all this is done by a man.

The second category is children on their own. And aggression is an attempt to survive in our, let's be honest, not very fair and friendly society. Communicating with the guys in the yard, she learns to repulse people. Gradually, this attitude manifests itself in the family.

Male and female aggression: similarities and differences

For some reason, it is generally accepted that boys are more aggressive and meaner than girls. This erroneous opinion was formed due to the fact that the schoolgirl does not so clearly and openly show their feelings. They prefer to spread rumors, sprinkle pepper in their underwear, and not hit in front of everyone. Unfortunately, the difference has become less and less noticeable lately.

You've probably noticed that guys show their emotions right away. It is difficult for them to control and restrain themselves. Holding a grudge and acting on the sly is not for them. Plus, public opinion plays an important role in this case. So, for example, if your son is offended, the father will tell him to fight back. The daughters will begin to explain that one should stay away from such persons. You never know what can happen.

Another difference is the way a teenager displays aggression. The fair sex prefer to avoid physical violence. As mentioned above, it is easier for them to insult, humiliate. But hitting is the last thing the girl will do. After all, she can get change. Moreover, schoolgirls understand earlier that the word hurts more painfully. They learn to find the weakest point of each specific person, after which they hit directly on the target.

Boys don't have that talent. They show aggression not pointwise, as girls do, but en masse. Whoever got under the arm is to blame. Fists are used, and people around and things suffer. A guy, for example, can smash his phone against a wall, bang a door with his hand, etc.

Now let's take an example of the behavior of adolescents. So, imagine a situation where a girl likes her deskmate. She can take the pen away from him and make cute faces while blinking her eyes. The student will try to pick up the item by swearing or even using force. Of course, the boy will be punished, since they will consider that he is the initiator of this conflict.

Thus, girls act as ringleaders, and boys - innocent victims of circumstances. The fair sex likes to push people together with their foreheads, while remaining aloof. It is much more enjoyable to observe than to participate in such activities.

Therefore, before you punish your son or daughter for a fight, find out what caused it. Listen to both sides, and only then make a decision whether to punish the teenager for showing aggression. If you do this, you can build contact with the out-of-control child.

Why is increased aggressiveness or its absence dangerous?

As mentioned above, during this period, the teenager begins to move away from his parents, trying to do everything on his own. And if, for example, the father forbids the child too much, the son or daughter will do everything in spite. You should act gently and gradually.

You need to understand that this is not a five-year-old baby who needs constant care and support. The child needs to grow up. Of course, you shouldn't let go immediately for free bread, indulgences should be done gradually. Do not forget also that the student needs to communicate with peers. Only with them will he master communication skills, learn to be friends, love, command, solve problems that have arisen. Your role is to observe from the outside. Trust me, a teenager will turn to you for help when he really needs it. You are his rear and support.

If you develop a trusting relationship with your child, even during a period of rebellion, he will turn to you. But in no case do not put pressure on him, do not force him to talk about what he would prefer to hide. Think back to yourself at this age. Did you want your dad and mom to know about the first kiss, intimate relationships, smoked cigarette, drunk bottle of beer?

You should not get lost in a student if he told you about things that make your hair stand on end. If you start criticizing, shouting, punishing, then the next time you will not be told anything more. And you will learn about events in the child's life from neighbors, teachers, acquaintances. An unpleasant prospect, isn't it?

Do not try to completely suppress aggression in adolescents! Direct it in the right direction. After all, only thanks to this feeling people become champions, leaders, winners. A person who is never angry and does not show any emotions will not be able to show his Self. But be careful that the child does not take a dangerous path. Often, unrealized power splashes out at the most inopportune moment. That is why there are so many murderers in our world, people with broken lives, as well as suicides.

Do you think that you have a calm son who won't hurt a fly? If a teenager is a good boy, who helps at home and translates dearly through his grandmother, and is an excellent student, and an example to follow, he may one day break loose. Such restraint is fraught with nerves, mental disorders.

How to deal with aggression

To begin with, one should understand that nothing can be solved by force. You will come across a wall that the child will build. And it will be almost impossible to destroy it. Find out what triggers the teens' aggression, then try to connect with the student. Try to talk to your son or daughter calmly, without raising your voice. This will set the child in the right mood, he will begin to listen to you, and will not sharply answer and be rude.

If your child tries to speak out, do not interrupt him. Let him speak. And only after the flow of speech (abuse) stops, you can start the conversation. Remember, he also has the right to show indignation, irritation, anger, distrust and similar feelings, just like you.

As mentioned above, you need to find ways to splash out negative emotions. So that your son does not come home worn out and angry, send him to sports training. Boxing, athletics, dancing, swimming, football - all will help get rid of the accumulated feelings. If the child is hyperactive, this is the only way to get relief.

What if you cannot cope with your child, he does not want to make contact, or you doubt his adequate perception of the world? In this case, you cannot do without the help of a specialist. You will have to go to a psychologist with the whole family to figure out what you are doing wrong.

Parenting mistakes or what parents should not do

Unfortunately, at school and at the institute we are not taught how to properly start a family, raise children, and establish contacts with people. As a result, we act blindly, make many mistakes that are almost impossible to correct. This also applies to our kids.

But there are still a number of rules that good and loving parents should be aware of. So, for example, in order not to cause aggression in adolescents, conflict situations should be avoided. Believe me, in most cases, if your parents did the same, you would not react better.

  • Negative assessment

Telling a child that he is stupid, bad, evil, etc., you humiliate him. At the same time, the teenager perceives your words as an incentive to action. And if you constantly criticize him, the student will start doing everything to spite you. Only a few are trying to correct themselves, to prove that their parents are wrong.

  • Making fun of flaws

Telling your daughter that she is overweight, you generate a bunch of complexes in her. In no case should you openly and publicly talk about the shortcomings of children. You will be pleased if your mother will tell your husband a secret that until the age of 16 you suffered from enuresis or played with dolls.

  • Comparison

As mentioned earlier, no person likes to be compared to the smarter, more successful, handsomer. This causes a kind of protest in the subconscious of a teenager. Remember once and for all: your child is individual, there is no such thing anymore. And, perhaps, in some ways he is worse than others. But he also has some talents.

By the way, this behavior of parents can cause aggression in adolescents in relation to the person whom they praise. Therefore, do not be surprised that your son dislikes the excellent student and the pride of the entire school. Better say every evening that the baby is your joy, you love him the way he is, with all his flaws and weaknesses.

The teenager wants to grow up faster, but emotionally remains a child. Therefore, it is especially important for parents during this period to observe a fine line: to treat him like an adult, but also not to forget to show feelings and care.

Aggression in adolescence is more likely not an attack, but a defensive reaction to actions directed against him. Often all these feelings are exaggerated, due to excessive emotionality and vulnerability.

It is worth recognizing that it is quite difficult for parents to learn how to properly respond to the child's behavior. They not only turn out to be psychologically unprepared, but at all cannot cope with the mass of everyday problems. But, as they say: "forewarned, which means armed", so we have outlined the most common causes of teenage aggression and give some advice on how to deal with it.

Causes of teenage aggression

There are several types of causes of aggression in adolescents: family, personal and situational.

Familial causes of aggression

Not every family cultivates the correct approach to raising children. This is undoubtedly a minus of parents, but they are also dependent on many factors and are often unable to restrain and control themselves. In any case, you need to know what parental behavior can lead to the emergence of aggression in children in adolescence:

  • Indifference and hostility towards the child
  • Rejection (unexpected child), lack of love and its manifestations
  • Excessive control and guardianship
  • Indifference to the life of a teenager
  • Lack of emotional connection
  • Humiliation and insult, especially in public
  • Suppression of the child's emotions and any manifestations of independence

Personal reasons

These reasons can arise both on their own and as a consequence of family circumstances and the influence of the environment:

  • Fear, expectation of the worst
  • Insecurity
  • Hormonal imbalance due to puberty
  • Irritability and resentment as a result of self-doubt
  • Feeling guilty about something
  • Feeling lonely

Situational reasons

Most often they are associated with specific situations that take place in the life of a teenager at a specific period of time:

  • Overwork as a result of physical and mental stress
  • Disease
  • Improper diet
  • Excessive passion for computer games
  • Local unpleasant situations in the family

Ways to deal with teenage aggression?

Admittedly, there is no single solution to this problem. First of all, it is necessary to determine what could have caused the emergence of aggressive behavior in a teenager. Based on this, you will be able to determine what needs to be changed in your behavior, the environment of the child.

Remember, your main task as parents is to minimize the manifestations of aggression, and therefore, to provide the most comfortable conditions for him or to change your parenting style.

Most often, parents become the cause of aggression in a child, so you should start by educating yourself:

  1. Give the teenager the opportunity to decide whether to take the initiative or take into account his interests in everything.
  2. Eliminate family aggression. Analyze your relationship with your other half for aggressive attacks.
  3. Redirect adolescent aggression in beneficial ways, such as sports.
  4. Talk to your child more often as a friend. Don't tell what to do, take on the role of a wise mentor who advises but does not judge.
  5. Praise your child more often, it will instill confidence in him.
  6. Respect his choice, even if it seems wrong to you.

A teenager does not become aggressive just like that and of his own free will. Remember that you are a role model for your child. It is not for nothing that they say: "Do not bring up children, educate yourself." If you missed the moment and admit that you are unable to cope on your own, consult with a psychologist.

As you know, the most difficult period for parents to grow up a child is adolescence. At this time, the child gradually becomes an adult, his body changes, which is accompanied by the active development of the hormonal system. Such changes cause various problems - disobedience, rebellion, various conflicts and, finally, aggression. The latter behavioral feature especially brings a lot of trouble to parents, teachers, and the teenager himself. But what are the reasons for the emergence of aggressiveness at this difficult age? And how should its correct correction be carried out?

Why does teenagers get aggression? Causes

Most experts argue that parents are solely to blame for the appearance of aggression in adolescents, and environmental factors play a secondary role. After all, it is the behavior of mom and dad that determines how the child perceives the world around him. Teenagers do not always understand that adults are often mistaken, deceived and frustrated. At this difficult age, children react to everything extremely sharply, so any incorrect remark can provoke hysteria in them.

So aggression in adolescents can be the result of excessive overprotection. After all, if parents do not give the student independence at all, in adolescence this can provoke a riot. In this case, he does not perceive adults as an authority, wanting to independently decide what is best for him, how and with whom to spend time, etc. In addition, such aggression can develop if the parents are not able to agree among themselves about rules for raising a child in a family.

Sometimes, this behavior disorder can be an attempt to draw the attention of adults / parents to their personality. So, if mom and dad are constantly busy with their own affairs, the student simply feels unnecessary and abandoned. In this case, being rude makes him feel loved.

Domestic violence is considered to be another factor provoking aggression in adolescents. In this case, the wrong behavior can be a way of protection from a person who is dangerous to him or the result of copying the behavior of a loved one who is an aggressor.

Sometimes the problem of aggression appears in relation to the second child in the family. This is facilitated by comparisons, selective praise, etc.

Also, such a violation of behavior may appear due to the constant lack of money in the family. Indeed, in adolescence, a child is especially dependent on the opinions of others, and the lack of a new mobile, beautiful things and a powerful computer leads to strong internal conflicts. The flip side of such a cause of aggression is wealth, which is accompanied by permissiveness, and can also provoke behavioral disturbances.

Very often, aggression in adolescents occurs in families where each member follows certain traditions. Such children do not like to wear standard clothes chosen by their parents, live by the rules, engage in the same activities, etc.

Also, a secondary cause of aggression is hormonal surges, which should also not be ignored.

Correction of aggression in adolescents

Parents need to realize that they will not be able to cope with the problem by force. Physical and mental abuse hits the adolescent wall and can only exacerbate the aggression. You need to try to find out exactly what things provoke aggression in your child, and then try to establish contact with the maturing student. Always try to talk to your son or daughter absolutely calmly, without breaking into raising your voice. Of course, this can be difficult, but such a strategy will set your child in the necessary mood, as a result of which he will begin to pay attention to what you say, and refuse to be rude and harsh, or reduce their number.

If a teenager starts to speak out, there is no need to interrupt him. Only after his flow of speech or even abuse comes to an end, you can begin to talk. Remember that your child has the right to express his outrage and irritation, to be angry and distrustful. Such emotions are normal for all of us, but in adolescence they are especially exaggerated.

Aggressive relief in adolescents is more effective when parents are looking for ways to help their child throw out negativity. This role can be played by various kinds of sports training, selected in accordance with the interests of the student. Boxing, dancing, and swimming will help a teenager get rid of various conflicting and aggressive feelings. Such loads will be especially useful if the child is hyperactive.

It is also beneficial to try to give the teenager what he lacks. So schoolchildren with leadership qualities need to be given the opportunity to show them, if not at school, then in sports, or in amateur performances, etc.

If the parents cannot cope with the teenager, and he does not want to make contact, it is advisable to seek help from a qualified specialist. It is recommended that your family see a counselor who can help all of you deal with your concerns.

Regardless of the characteristics of the child, the presence and absence of aggressiveness in him, the approach of parents to upbringing plays an extremely important role in the formation of personality. So mom and dad should be patient, show love and tenderness, and also communicate with the teenager on an equal footing.

“My son is 14 years old. He became aggressive and uncontrollable. What should I do?"
A question from a desperate parent to a psychologist. The answer was not long in coming:
"It would be surprising if your son behaved differently as a teenager." Cheerful emoticon at the end.
Probably, it was he who should have convinced his mother that the aggressiveness of a teenager is normal, commonplace.

“My son is 14 years old. He became aggressive and out of control. What should I do?"

A question from a desperate parent to a psychologist. The answer was not long in coming:

"It would be surprising if your son showed different behavior as a teenager."... Cheerful emoticon at the end.

Probably, it was he who should have convinced his mother that the aggressiveness of a teenager is normal, commonplace.

Beyond normality

Should it be then for ordinary people to be surprised when the younger generation reacts aggressively to their remarks, and not only verbally, revealing all the delights of an obscene language, but also physically.

The videos posted by the adolescents themselves on YouTube testify to the outrageous manifestations of adolescent aggression. They are capable of many things:

    to punch an elderly person in the face, spit at him, make fun of him, knock him to the ground and kick him to death (grandfather did not let him light a cigarette and tried to give a lecture on the dangers of smoking);

    torture, disfigure stray cats and dogs ("And what? Does anyone really need them? We rid society of animal garbage ...");

    mock homeless people ("They are the scum of society, let them know their place!");

    beat your teacher ("Grandma is insane, but she teaches physical education!");

    abuse a classmate ("Yes, he is a major, so we rinsed him in the toilet bowl of the school toilet, so as not to show off");

    to take revenge on a former lover (this is how one girl with a group of friends beat and humiliated her) or her lover (for example, a teenager stabbed his “unfaithful Juliet” several times).

Aggression and aggressiveness of children goes beyond all norms of what is permissible. Are we going to consider this the "norm" of adolescent behavior?

What is aggressiveness

Psychologists distinguish between the concepts of aggression and aggressiveness. Aggression translated from Latin means "attack", "hostility". Aggression is primarily understood as actions.

Some psychoanalysts see aggression as an extension of the death instinct, the drive for destruction, described by Freud.

The Austrian scientist Konrad Lorenz in his monograph argued that aggression is not evil, but a natural instinct that contributes to the survival of the species, and is not at all aimed at its self-destruction.

The researcher of aggression A. Bass defines it "as a reaction, as a physical action or a threat of such an action on the part of one person, which reduces the freedom or genetic adaptability of another person, as a result of which the body of another person receives painful stimuli."

Aggressiveness is a human property, manifested in readiness for aggressive behavior. Moreover, a certain predisposition to aggression can be both perceived by the individual and unconscious. Psychologists distinguish several types of manifestations of aggressive behavior:

2. Indirect.

3. Negativism.

4. Resentment, envy, hatred.

5. Suspiciousness.

6. Feelings of guilt.

7. Verbal aggression.

8. Irritation.

As you can see, aggression has different faces, it can be directed at the people around, the external environment and at oneself.

So, aggression is, on the one hand, a consequence of aggressiveness, on the other, it arises in the process of social learning.

Needed for life

It's fashionable to be aggressive these days. It is believed that aggression is a kind of psychological defense mechanism of an individual from the influences of the outside world. In order not to be passive, dependent, unable to defend their own interests and goals, you need to be aggressive.

Mom in the sandbox is happy that her toddler took the bucket from another kid:

Well done, he knows how to achieve his goals! He will not let himself be offended ...

Another on the way to kindergarten teaches:

If someone pushes you, give your change.

Dad enrolls a girl in martial arts at the age of three so that she can stand up for herself.

It is clear that parents are led by good intentions, but they do not see that they are teaching their children aggressive forms of behavior and are not teaching other ways of interacting with others, other ways of solving problems. They often raise monsters with their own hands, and then they don't know what to do with them.

During adolescence, which is the transition from childhood to adulthood, parenting failures become most apparent.

Teenagers

The urethral teenager shows aggression in the form of anger in case of injustice towards his flock, infringement of his free, unrestricted person, referring to him not by rank - from top to bottom (for example, praise).

His anger manifests itself vividly, he knows no boundaries, no framework. The urethral vector is not content with half the measure. Here is rage - so rage, love - so love.

At school, the urethral teenager can be seen immediately, he smiles with a special smile, walks with a confident gait, often with his shirt unbuttoned, they involuntarily look after him. Teachers call him an informal leader, give him an individual diary for assessing behavior, he wears it, calmly receives two marks and looks at the teachers with such a look that one feels the complete impotence of adults in front of this daredevil.

The key to a urethral child is to be his regent, to turn to him for support, help, advice, delegating his powers to him. In no case should you get involved in pulling the blanket over yourself, put pressure on him, demand unquestioning obedience - you will still lose.

It is best to make the head of the class, he will lead the team, and this is how you can most productively channel his energy in a positive direction. When there is a urethral child in the class, in fact, this is happiness, you can safely delegate to him control over the discipline of the class, targeting children for high academic achievements and good team cohesion.

He is merciful by nature, and making him an ally rather than an enemy is easy enough. He is not touchy, easy-going, understanding.

If there are two urethral leaders in the class, then it is natural that they will be at enmity, and the conflict will be accompanied by aggression. Everything will end in a fight, where they will fight for life and death. It is better to prevent at the root a pretext for aggression - to transfer them to different classes, to define them a different territory and field of activity.

An anal teenager, with the correct development of innate abilities, is an obedient, flexible child who respects the opinion of his elders. The downside of the anal teenager is verbal aggression, rancor, vindictiveness, resentment, displacement of internal stress on pets, sadism.

For a child, his mother is of great importance, if she pays little attention to him, does not praise him for the work done, then he feels that he is not loved, and takes offense at everyone - first at girls, and then at women. Kicks classmates in the buttocks, calls them dirty curses, can swear at the teacher.

The skin child aggressively pushes everyone with his elbows, he is ambitious, quickly finds ways to get out of any situation. He shows aggression when he does not get what he wants, for example, a high mark (he was promised a bicycle for it), when his ambitious plans are infringed. He tries to argue with the teacher, “shakes” his rights, how quickly he breaks down, just as quickly forgets about what he did. Leatherworkers demand equal conditions, unconsciously feeling that they will overtake everyone, do not like to lose and their principle: "All means are good for victory."

It should be noted that the negative aspects of a skin adolescent with his improper development is the lack of self-discipline, inability to control himself, to limit himself (for example, he cannot organize himself to come to school on time).

Behaves aggressively when you lose any material values, because they are for - a certain foundation of psychological comfort.

A muscular teenager behaves aggressively towards others only with the wrong upbringing. From birth, this child is extremely calm, his normal state is monotony. He begins to show aggression if he is transferred to the state of "war", giving him to the sports section, where he will only get all the chances to get into the criminal environment, since sport does not develop the main thing in the muscle - the ability to positively use his strength.

The correct development for such a child is accustoming to work, even to hard physical work. By initiating his erogenous zone - muscles, in this way he gets pleasure from the very process of work and subsequently becomes a “peaceful builder”.

A muscular teenager alone will never arrange a fight, he is directed by a leatherman, and then he, together with his muscle companions, is capable of committing violence. Dear, good-natured boy, they would never think badly of him ...

It is important to be well-fed, well-fed, and get enough sleep for a good mood. Satisfaction of natural human needs for him is the greatest joy in life.

Thus, a group of teenagers attacked a passer-by near the garages, beat him, and took the money. The skin leader of the gang bought himself a watch with the stolen funds, and the muscles for the part allocated to him - food, moreover, simple, coarse - they scored large quantities of sausages in the dough. Ate from the belly. Juvenile delinquents in dire need of occupational therapy.

The upper vectors have a significant impact on the aggressiveness of adolescents. adds emotionality to aggressive behavior: "Sasha threw a tantrum when she saw me with another girl, then grabbed her by the hair, screamed and fought."

They are most susceptible to auto-aggression, they experience internal tension from interaction with the outside world deep in themselves until the accumulated tangle of contradictions, misunderstanding at one moment spills out in the form of suicide, unexpected for others.

A teenager always shows aggression verbally, he easily shouts over all other peers and his derogatory nicknames "stick" usually for life.

The vector adds thoughtfulness to the aggressive behavior of a teenager - not only will we not prove his involvement in the crime, but we will not even suspect him. An inconspicuous, barely perceptible child, fulfilling his main function of “surviving at all costs,” substituting others, hides evidence of his own socially disapproved behavior.

So, the aggressiveness of a teenager is a wake-up call for parents and teachers. They are doing something wrong. You need to reconsider your attitude to the child, to the methods of his upbringing.

An effective means of helping to cope with the aggressive behavior of a teenager is the awareness of parents of two postulates:

1. It is necessary to properly educate a child, in accordance with his innate vectors, so that he becomes a Human, absorbs culture.

2. It is necessary to be able to understand the deep reasons for the aggressiveness of a teenager and teach him to remove negative feelings without harming both mental and physical other people.

For example, realizing the value of silence for a sound child, parents need to create comfortable, calm conditions for him so that, returning from school, he has the opportunity to be alone with himself.

Parental love becomes the most effective and targeted if it is manifested systematically, only then the child feels that he is loved and this removes aggression: hugging a skin teenager, praising the anal, admiring the urethral, ​​creating a close emotional connection with the visual, listening to the oral, etc.

The aggressiveness of adolescents is not inevitable, much depends on us - their educators.

Proofreader: Valeria Starkova

The article was written based on the training materials “ System-vector psychology»

What is aggression?

Aggression, the manifestation of which most often causes a negative reaction from the people watching it, can also have a positive effect. Such a moment is considered to be the ability to discharge overwhelming emotions and defend a person's positions, increase self-esteem.

But aggressiveness still needs to be controlled so as not to create life problems for yourself. It is especially pronounced in adolescence, so it is important to understand the reasons for its appearance.

Aggression of a person means that he wants to feel power over someone, to subjugate him. It can be both internal, directed inward (auto-aggression) and external, the objects of which are other people or objects. It also happens explicit and hidden. Signs of overt aggression are considered to be an increased degree of conflict, assault, the ability to put pressure on others, and slander. And the latent form is manifested by withdrawal into oneself, suicide attempts.

Adolescence and aggression

Any person can have such character traits, but they are especially well observed in adolescents. This is a concern for many parents who notice that their children are angry and unmanageable.

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Why do teens get aggressive?

A rare child who has entered adolescence does not change his behavior. He tends to become more aggressive. This is due to the restructuring of his body, a change in the characters of the same adolescents around him, who during this period begin to assert themselves, prove something to each other, try to earn respect in this way.

There are cases of violence against less aggressive peers, who are appointed outsiders and in every possible way mock them - both morally and physically. They create their own groups and do not allow strangers there. The attitude towards parents is also changing. They seem to adolescents to be stupid, and their opinion is considered not worthy of attention. Teenagers are capable of hurting anyone without making allowances for age.

There are several reasons for aggression in adolescents. The most studied and confirmed specialists are five of them.

The first causes of aggression in adolescents

The first reason for the aggressive behavior of adolescents is recognized as a constitutional predisposition. That is, this can be a person who is initially irritable, suspicious, withdrawn, anxious, for whom it is important what others think of him.

The second causes of aggression in adolescents

The second reason for adolescent aggressiveness lies in the formation of such behavior under the negative influence of print (newspapers, magazines) and electronic (Internet) sources of information. Television and computer games, which involve scenes of cruelty, violence, with criminal elements in the plot, have a strong influence on the character.

The third reason for aggression in adolescents

The third reason why a person with aggressive habits can be formed may be the family where the child is growing up. If there is a misunderstanding between family members, rejection or too much care of children, their pampering by adults, insults are not uncommon, the relationship between parents and children is not colored with positive emotional shades, then all these moments can create the basis for nurturing a future aggressor.

The fourth reason for aggression in adolescents

The fourth case, when a teenager can become aggressive, implies an early start to the use of alcoholic beverages or drugs. In a state of one of these intoxication, he is so liberated that he does not even realize how cruel and unpredictable he becomes.

Fifth Reasons for Aggression in Adolescents

The fifth reason for the emergence of the aggressive nature of adolescents is the state of the environment, society as a whole at the time of the formation of its personality. With an unfavorable environment, problems with radiation, noise, an overabundance of negative information, the prerequisites for aggression appear. Life during economic and other crises, in the absence of fair laws, a sense of hopelessness can also lead to protest behavior of a teenager, which can turn into aggression.

The main influence on the child is still exerted by the environment where he grows up. Parents should understand that their child has not yet grown up, although he is trying to prove it to everyone. This is a difficult transitional age, when a teenager most of all needs love and understanding in the family, which can reduce unnecessary anxiety and prevent his aggressiveness from developing.