How to Meet a Good Man for Serious. In a state of alcoholic intoxication. Fear of rejection

Back in 1962, the textbook "Sex and the Unmarried Girl" was published. In it, the editor-in-chief of the American Cosmo, which is rightfully considered the ancestor of the glamor style, Helen Gurley Brown talked about where to catch sultry handsome men, wealthy businessmen and other good men. "So what? - you will say. - It's such old stuff! Not at all. Since then, the geography of Homo Sexual has not changed at all. And you can be convinced of this for yourself. For the first time in Russia, we publish the chapter "Where to find the one" from this legendary book. From it you will learn where to meet a man for a serious relationship.

Where to meet a serious man

Smoke of the homeland

The office is the most convenient place to meet real men. Do not be embarrassed that some gastro-busy fifa has already managed to feed the dear colleague with Malaysian borscht and herbal soufflé. It is temporarily available from nine in the morning to six in the evening. And if you’re a yummy little thing, it’s guaranteed not to miss such a tasty morsel at lunchtime. There are no men in your company? Quite quite? So, something is wrong with your company!

Friends of friends

Risky option. Chances are good that a friend will make a fatal mistake. Are you going to sit in a restaurant with her second cousin, a traveling salesman, and wonder if she really is cuckoo or just wanted to avenge her boyfriend who was repulsed at school. But in general, to refuse her services is also not an option. It is possible that the next candidate she proposed will turn out to be a true diamond. And then, you can be sure, if the “find” is presented as a lonely architect, then your gentleman has built at least a couple of buildings and does not pay alimony to anyone.

Blind dating

According to an unspoken tradition, they are held near local attractions and are fundamentally different from meetings of friendship. You have to keep your ears open here. Each girl has a hundred or so horror stories in her stock. A predator devouring you with his eyes; a maniac who insists on changing his posture from sitting to lying down; niggardly, carrying sushi off your plate ...

Popular

Sports interest

Men like to compete with each other, but you adore men, which means that you will have to fall in love with sports. Take alpine skiing, for example. Austria, Switzerland, France - wherever you go, everywhere you will find snow-white slopes, strewn with smart handsome men in shiny glasses and bright suits. Even that pretty guy who was carried by the orderlies a second ago will come back here one day. As soon as the bones are healed. If extreme is not for you, choose a safer activity for yourself: archery, ping-pong, badminton, rollerblading, bowling, golf, fishing - all these guys are addicted to, who could later be carried away by you.

At the bar

There are also such unique people in nature who do not ski and do not carry catfish out of the water on weekends. However, regardless of the existing hobby (or its complete absence), all representatives of the stronger sex sometimes drop into a bar to have a glass or two. But with the regulars, it's the same story as with the three dollar merlot. You take such a wine: it looks like an ordinary wine, but it tastes like a murloid. Visitors to the bars seem normal at first glance, but they behave in a strange way. They stick to you as if you are not you at all, but some kind of sex adventure seeker or stale goods ready to give them a discount. You can try to convince them, but it is better not to look for crazy meetings, but to make appointments in advance. If you come to a bar with a macho company, they look at you differently. You send him to the manager to agree on the provision of a table by the window, and you yourself flirt with those who come into view.

Private parties

Men walk on them and walk in high spirits - this is a plus. And a minus: if nature has not endowed you with a cute face and a sixth size breast, the chances of a serious acquaintance are zero. A couple of years ago, I got into a conversation with a nice young man at a party. He worked as a sales assistant in a store. Ten days later, I stood on the doorstep of that boutique. Of course, he recognized me. We even went to lunch together. And this is what he told me at the end: "Listen, I had no idea that it could be so interesting with you!"

Group trainings

Frankly, I myself have not visited a single one, but my bosom friend talked about her good friend ... She met her husband in the classroom for the psychologically disadvantaged. She turned 43, she did not suffer from depression and other mental disorders, but, thank God, the doors of the center were open to everyone. And she really wanted to get to know one well-known writer. For a whole year I sat next to him, listening to stories about creative torment, insidious women and high utility bills. Disgusting? And it seems to me that a man will stick to the woman he met under such circumstances. At least out of an instinctive fear of being publicly exposed.

Somewhere in the West

Another friend of mine, Carol, never had a problem with fans on vacation because she knows how to reach out to foreigners. In six weeks, she traveled half of Europe, having in her pocket as much money as exemplary fathers give their toddlers for pocket money. She did not have friends among the locals, but she developed an author's system for finding them. Before the trip, she phoned friends, girlfriends and asked: "Do you have anyone in Rome or Paris?" They happily shared the addresses of former classmates, colleagues and distant relatives. People are proud of their connections in the West and always willingly emphasize that they have their own person there. When Carol arrived in town, the first thing she did was send everyone a welcome letter (mail abroad works fine): “I'm Carol. Someone gave me your contact. I will be glad to meet you personally. " The next day, crowds of lonely men stormed her room.

Business trips

I love business trips! You fly first class, stay in the best hotels in town, eat in the most sophisticated restaurants, and the amount of money in your account only grows. In addition, even if you do not come across a single worthy representative of the opposite sex, you still will not die of boredom. You have a special mission here! But, from experience, you are unlikely to be able to maintain chaste loneliness. Girls who have something to do seem to be more attractive prey than those who prowl the streets with a view: “Well, here I am. How to entertain yourself? "

On the halfway

Did you know that stewardesses do not have a single free line in their notebook. And they usually get married first. Civilians, too, no one forbids scurrying back and forth down the aisle and charmingly smiling at beautiful strangers. There is something damn sexy about sitting next to each other like this at an altitude of several thousand kilometers, listening to the roar of engines and the pounding of your hearts. Both of you have nothing to do with yourself, and this is already a good excuse to strike up small talk.

On the staircase

Suppose that a moderately attractive individual lives on your floor. You are not strangers to each other. You know what groceries jump into his basket in the store around the corner, how late he comes home and who he recently broke up with. If he is not yet tired of your vigilant eye in the peephole, he will not mind trying experimental cupcakes according to the original recipe. Or sip a martini to celebrate your kitchen re-painting from pink to salmon.

If you are tired of loneliness, but cannot find your soul mate in any way, do not rush to complain about fate. We hurry to the rescue and reveal the places where lonely serious men are found!

Even those self-sufficient women who give the impression of ladies enjoying a free life, sadly hug a pillow at night and yearn for loneliness. Undoubtedly, the absence of the right person in life is not a reason to surround yourself with empty men, therefore, we will not urge you to rush at strange creatures, in the passport of which the male gender is indicated. We will tell you about where to meet a serious man who does not waste his time on trifles and is waiting for his only soul mate.

Virtual sites - affordable and fast

Let's not argue with the fact that the easiest way for modern people to get acquainted on the Internet. We have already written about how they live there, why they and how in the vastness of the global network. Once again, I would like to remind the main thing: dating sites are registered with the same people who live near you, there are no aliens or special creatures.

Therefore, on the site you can meet anyone: a busy businessman, an official, absorbed in social work, and an overly modest student, and a gigolo, anxious about how profitable it is to settle down at someone else's expense, and a normal single man looking for where to meet for a serious relationship with his half.

Our advice may seem strange, but even if you are against virtual communication, be sure to register there - it will come in handy for dating in the real world. How? Hundreds of compliments, dozens of people who want to get to know each other, and an army of numerous fans will raise self-esteem, “light up” the sparkle in your eyes, improve your mood and make you more attractive to other men!

It has long been proven that the representatives of the stronger sex, with some unknown instinct, feel that a woman is already liked by someone, and it is these ladies who for some reason subconsciously attract males!

Finishing touches for an irresistible portrait

And now, confident in ourselves and in our irresistibility, we will go to places where you can meet a serious and decent man. But before leaving the house, critically examine yourself in the mirror. Perhaps the hunt should be postponed for three days in order to have time to lose a few kilograms on a fast one, or maybe it is worth putting in order, or?

If everything is okay with the appearance, open the closet and choose outfits that will not look too provocative, but will attract the attention of a man. Remember: you have to spin in an ordinary everyday environment, where frank necklines and vulgar mini look inappropriate. For a successful hunt, dresses, sets of a skirt and the right one matched to it are suitable.

If you are plump, use tricks to help hide excess volume and emphasize your dignity. Do not neglect high heels, but if you are a very tall lady, then they can reduce the number of potential fans, whose height is not much taller than you. (Read tips for those).

Makeup is important, but don't make it too flashy. Save your war paint for another occasion, and for the first casual acquaintance, natural tones and light shades are more suitable. Do not forget that you need to highlight one thing: either the lips or the eyes.

Places where serious men gather

And now about the most important and important thing: where can you meet a man in our fast-paced time? Try to benefit from your favorite activity - shopping... Only this time, visit the departments not with women's, but with men's goods. Take your time to review ties, shirts, briefcases, and other accessories. Just do not circle around your underwear - so a potential groom may think that you are choosing panties for your husband or lover.

Be prepared for the fact that a man can take the initiative and ask for advice or help in choosing one thing or another. Be sure to help and not with dry phrases, but by showing sincere interest and participation. Immediately ask him to help you "choose a gift for your boss, brother or colleague." Courageous ladies may not wait for the initiative from the representatives of the “modest sex” and show it themselves by asking the man they like to try on a sweater “for his brother”.

A good chance for those who are looking for where to meet a rich man are provided car dealerships... Go around among those who choose expensive cars, ask for advice, share your opinions. Complain that you are just going to study law and would like to practice, but there are no friends who would give a few lessons. Perhaps luck will touch you with its firebird tail, and the young man you like will ask for a phone number.

Continuing the theme of shopping, we can recommend places such as construction supermarkets, computer goods stores, departments for fishermen and hunters(to help those who dare to go there - a small educational program). Don't want to complicate your searches?

Spend more time in departments of semi-finished products and cookery in a regular supermarket - where single men, as a rule, buy their simple dinner. You can also visit the ranks of alcoholic beverages, where they sell good brandy, and act out the scene of choosing a gift for the doctor. (Read a nice one about dating in the store).

Besides shopping, there are other places where you can meet a good man in just one day. it Exhibitions, which are now regularly held in various cities. Crowds of men, some of whom are lonely, attend exhibitions dedicated to cars, construction, computer technology, and medicine.

Where else can you go to meet a guy

When you ask the question of where a girl can meet a guy, and you get the option: a cafe, do not rush to reject this offer. V a cafe you can meet for a serious relationship, only you need to go there not late in the evening, but at lunchtime. It was at this time that the employees of banks, offices and all those who could not eat at home or take with them to work the cutlets prepared by a caring wife, came there just to eat.

Just keep in mind: well-fed men are usually disposed towards acquaintance, so give the guy a meal first, then cast your modest but interested glance at him. For very brave girls, it will not be difficult to start a conversation first and get hooked on the man who has already begun his dinner, and the shy girls can only wait for their prince.

Girls who are happy with their bodies may well go alone on Beach and wait for your "dolphin" there, and if there is no beach, then nothing prevents you from signing up for the gym, where lonely guys often work on their muscles, dreaming of a faithful and devoted friend.

Statistics say that 60% of dating ends in failure and the reason for this is the woman's wrong behavior. How can one avoid a mistake and not miss the possible happiness that has managed to be in the hands of?

1. Do not betray your main goal in any way - you have come to the point of congestion of men in your business, and not looking for a place where you can better get to know the lonely prince. Don't be overly happy and interested when the guy pays attention and takes the initiative. Remember: representatives of the opposite sex love to hunt, and prey falling into their hands is of little interest to them.
2. Do not rush to immediately accept the offer to continue your acquaintance and go with the guy to a cafe or to another place, refer to being busy, but do everything so that he asks for your phone number. It would be nice to have business cards for this case, they can be handed out unobtrusively to new acquaintances. Do not worry if the guy after the first refusal loses interest in you - either he is not interested in you, or offered a continuation only because he was sure of a negative answer.
3. Don't be too active and intrusive. If after the first question the man did not show a response, back off and wait for a new applicant.
4. Do not attack the "victim" immediately, let the potential lover notice you, evaluate, draw conclusions, and only then take the initiative. Otherwise, he simply will not have time to understand that before him is his fate!

After meeting, be prepared for the fact that your husband may ask you to suggest a place for a date. Arm yourself how to behave there in advance!

If you can't get to know a guy for a long time, go through which will help you understand who your ideal is, maybe you are just looking for that man.

Dear ladies, if you know more places where you can meet a man, write about it in the comments. Let's help each other and share useful information! Also, if you want your girlfriends to read this article, click on the social media button. I wish you happiness and great love!

Are you attractive, well-read, have a good sense of humor and are still single? Do you know where to meet a man you want to marry? This article lists 7 places where a beautiful young lady can meet a guy who is worth her love.

Lying on the couch and once again watching a snotty melodrama, it is impossible to meet a handsome prince. And only after leaving your comfort zone, you yourself will become a woman about whom you want to make a film or write a book.
So, the first step you have to take is to leave your room. Choose where to go:

1. Cinema.

Most readers will think this is an absurd idea. After all, acquaintance presupposes a conversation. However, there are exceptions and loopholes in all the rules. It is not at all necessary to pester with personal questions a neighbor in the cinema, whose face you cannot see because of the darkness. To meet someone at the cinema, you should come early and on a weekday (so that there are tickets). Look at movie posters before the cashier, and then go up to the man who is waiting for his show and ask him to recommend a picture. Strike up an unobtrusive conversation and buy a ticket to the same movie. If a guy is interested in dating, then after watching, he will ask if you liked the tape. The best way to discuss a movie is over a cup of coffee.

2. Take a look at the training.

The big city offers significant opportunities. A dozen trainings are held every day in the business center aimed at improving the qualifications of ordinary citizens. Most of the activities are free. The invitation can be obtained through the social network. Dress something pretty and discreet, get ready for the meeting and take action. Of course, choose the right event with a business, economic, legal theme. One more piece of advice, do not go to trainings where even the name is not clear to you. As a rule, such meetings are divided into two parts. During recess, the participants relax over coffee and tea. This is a great opportunity not only to get to know a focused person, but also to deepen your knowledge.

3. Bar.

Many experts have long thrown bars and cafes from the list of places where you can meet a good man. But in reality, it is this type of evening establishment that often helps to arrange a personal life. Of course, we should discard the cheap and vulgar bars serving warm beer, the tables are covered with oilcloth. Look for places that are famous for their style. There are many bars where visitors do not go for alcoholic drinks, but for quality music and atmosphere. Many institutions invite young musicians, newly minted writers to their place, offer to watch amateur films and discuss the picture with directors. Such places are the center of culture and taste. Here you can meet a good person who is not alien to art. Start a conversation with someone, make an appointment and plan your wedding.

4. Gym.

If you think that in evil you can only train and maintain your figure, then you are mistaken. Normal, modern fitness clubs are bars, cafeterias, places to relax. Make eyes at a cute stranger during your workout, and then wait until he comes to your bar. Have a cocktail together. You already have something in common - a love of sports.

5. Lunch at a restaurant.

How often have you noticed a lonely, attractive stranger at the opposite table during your lunch break? It's very easy to meet in restaurants and cafes in the middle of the day! This method has many advantages! First and foremost: you can immediately see which man is not married. The guys wear rings to work, and the cafes are usually visited by those who are far from home and who do not have a wife who would cook dinner that can be eaten in the office. Sit down at a table with a stranger and tell him that there is a promotion in the restaurant today, two portions for the price of one. And since there are two of you, it would be wise to have a hearty meal and save some money. Plus - talking over food. The gentleman will not refuse, and then he will also pay for you.

6. Excursions.

Every city has something to show the tourist. But it often happens that the inhabitants of the metropolis themselves do not know anything about their native land. Buy a tour ticket and join the tour group. There may be someone nice among the participants. Get close to the stranger and reveal a (prepared in advance) little-known fact about the city. And when he looks at you in surprise, admit that you are local and just wanted to fall in love with your native land again. Offer to show something more interesting, unknown to the guides at the end of the tour. There are many landscapes and secrets that only the locals know about. All the cards are up your sleeve.

7. Mass celebrations.

What could be better than a holiday for the whole city? On such a day, even the most inveterate hard workers quit their jobs and have fun! What are the advantages of such an event for a single woman? You can get acquainted with several men at once. On this day, no one will blame you for smiling at a stranger. However, it is necessary to choose not those who have already "plucked up", but those who, despite the festivities, have a decent look. An experienced woman at a glance can recognize a married man or single, earn good money or sit on the neck of her parents. The easiest way is to get acquainted with the goods in front of the shops. Buying something, strike up an innocent conversation: “It's good that such events are being arranged”, “I'm so glad that I finally got away from work” or “You don't look like a person who goes to mass festivities.” The last phrase in this case acts one hundred percent and prompts the answer.

Getting to know a nice person is not difficult. The main thing is the ability to interest and bewitch! Good luck charming women!

Greetings, dear readers!

Today we will discuss a topical issue for many girls. How to find your love in the form of a charming and attractive man, and such that once and for all. Well, or at least for the coming years ... Do you want? Then read on, and you will find out a lot of interesting things!

I am often asked where to meet a man for a serious relationship. Why am I being asked this question? I think that they are interested in all girls who are married and at least do not complain about their husbands. And if a married girl gives the impression of being very happy, then they ask her even more.

And it is right. The other day after another such question, I decided to tell on the blog all my thoughts about this. Only shhhh, this conversation between us girls, and in secret!

Every hunter wants to know where the pheasant is sitting? Remember this childish phrase? Traditionally, hunters are men. But in order to find the answer to our exciting question, right now we will briefly swap places with them. And let's look for the answer, where are the "pheasants" hiding, that is, men. By the way, there are plenty of them in our world!

Really meet smart, interesting and good. In general, someone with whom you will have butterflies soar in your stomach and words fly out of your head.

This is me for those who complain that after 18 ... 25 ... 30 ... years there is no chance to arrange a personal life.

Thinking that free, interesting men have been busy for a long time, and you have to live your whole life in splendid isolation, this is still a passive position. And it brings zero results. I believe that everything is in our hands, and therefore they cannot be omitted. And this means that if everything in your relationship is quiet, lonely and hopeless, then you need to fix it. And this is better than just whining to friends, complaining or waiting for a miracle.

It's time to act! But it is wise to do it like a woman! The difference between creating a successful ground for dating is very different from imposing your candidacy on a man, and even more so hanging on his neck.

I am for the first method, and I will call it humane. In this case, the man does not feel like a hunted pheasant caught in the trap of a crazy girl. Therefore, I will write further only about him. So where can you find your love?

Passwords - appearances or opportunities around you

Your living space

Where do you live? Not a specific house-street, but a settlement. What is he? Is it a small village, or a huge metropolis, or something in between? What reputation does it have - a city of brides or a city of grooms, or half and half?

You yourself understand that if you live in a small village, whose name, with all due respect, is interesting only to its inhabitants, then there is practically no choice there. Here, either be content with what you have, or decide to move to larger cities or regional centers. Maybe you can come up with some other real option that I don't know about.

I'll tell you about a student friend. After receiving her education, she returned home and still could not find a life partner in her small town. There were much fewer men in it. And those who had not yet had time to "wow" were for the most part spoiled by female attention. Everyone felt like a prince, because several girls were competing for his attention at the same time.

In general, such proud men did not suit her friend in any way, it was not in her style to seek someone. And she decided the situation radically. She moved to live in the nearest large city. And there she soon successfully married.

It can be difficult to decide to move, but do not immediately dismiss this option. Take a real look at the situation, weigh the pros and cons, and then make a decision.

In any case, once you find yourself in an unfamiliar city, you will discover hidden reserves within yourself, and this is always beneficial. Or, at the very least, get memories that you will go through in retirement and tell your grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Look around you

Where do you often go?

Maybe it's an office center, an institute, a sports complex, a cafe, an entertainment center, a library, after all, or something else?

Where do you spend a lot of time - at work, school or somewhere else? Who are the people you interact with often? These can be companies of friends and acquaintances, company clients, office employees, partners, colleagues, classmates, etc.

All this initially contains many opportunities for acquaintance. The more people around you and interacting with you, the more likely you are to find your person. Think about what you can add from all this to your life.

Maybe you should take part in a large-scale project from the university, or get out more actively to events and meetings with friends? In winter, go skiing or skating more often, and cycling and rollerblading in summer?

Remark. In many cities, mass rollerblading and biking are popular in the summer. You can spend time interestingly, and find new acquaintances.

By the way, professions in which you need to communicate with many people are very conducive to the arrangement of your personal life. For girls, this can be the position of an office manager in a large company, a realtor, a manager in a travel company, a hairdresser for men, a secretary at the reception (dentistry, sports center, etc.) and many others.

In such positions, willingly or unwillingly, you learn to interact and find an approach to different people. And the ability to communicate well and adequately will certainly play a positive role in meeting people.

In general, the network of personal and professional contacts, active communication, visiting and business meetings remains one of the most effective methods.

A lot of girls met a worthy and beloved man in the circle of their acquaintances, in common companies, as well as working together or getting an education.

Internet, including social media

Global opportunities for everything, including the arrangement of personal life, are found on the Internet. Among my acquaintances, every sixth or seventh found their love thanks to him.

At the same time, those who do not pin special hopes on him often successfully meet. If they go to dating sites, it is rare. But aptly.

In this method, you do not know who the person is impersonating on the other side of the screen, what is true in his words, and what is an illusion. But with a little common sense, everything falls into place.

Where to meet on the Internet? In addition to popular dating sites, there are all kinds of groups, publics of interest on social networks, forums where you can strike up a conversation with like-minded people and then get to know them live.

I know examples of how couples met on forums about cars (by a specific brand and divided by city) and on a social network, finding common interests and topics of conversation.

Interests and passions

• If you are looking for a future Nobel laureate, then look for him in his native environment. The same thing, if you are interested in a funny party-goer, then it makes sense to go to parties and clubs. And in them she herself is able to stand out from the crowd.
• Do you need a type that is elusive for the usual perception, balancing on the verge of material and spiritual? Sign up for esoteric clubs, energy practices, participate in outdoor events, training your spirit and body.
• Interested in purposeful men? Go to trainings, conferences, master classes, seminars on personal growth. Good strong workouts are not for infantile guys. An exception when they promise a freebie. For example, they teach you how to make millions in one day.
• Exhibitions - branch, educational, scientific, technical, commercial and industrial. The same gradation by interests and level of education.

In general, the meaning is clear. Decide who is interesting to you and think about how he spends his time, what are his interests. And go there. At the very least, you will find some new cognitive information and expand your horizons.

Recreation

These are all kinds of trips, excursions, concerts, exhibitions, bowling, billiards, kayaking, hiking, etc. During such events, everyone is in a positive mood and feels on the rise. A great opportunity to chat with interesting people.

Strong emotions bring people together in the first place. Try to overcome steep rapids on a kayak in the company of strangers or get driving emotions at a concert. After the experience, everyone who was around becomes close.

I will put beach holidays, clubs, etc. on a separate line. A dubious option for a long-term relationship, but there are exceptions.

Transport and everything related to it

More places to meet. Airports, planes, stations, trains, cars, motor ships. ... Take a closer look at a pretty neighbor. Maybe he is the one you need?

While I'm writing this article, surely someone met in this way.

Casual dating

They can be anytime, anywhere. When you don't expect them at all. And also according to the law of meanness, when you are not made up, dressed, combed and not perfumed with your favorite perfume. This is the case when fate itself is actively involved in the arrangement of your personal life.

On this occasion, I love a joke - the longest relationship we have met in the winter. If he liked you in a thick sweater, a voluminous down jacket, with a red nose and frostbitten cheeks, then this is definitely love.

Summing up

Answer your questions:

• Who? That is, what kind of man are you interested in, what is his type, what does he do and is fond of?
• Where? Where does he spend his time? And where do you spend it yourself, and where should you take it?
• How? How can you be in the same place with him at the same time?

Write down the answers, think about what and how you need to change and start acting!

Be open to all possibilities! And it doesn't matter if you get to know each other through a coincidence or with a little planning. The main thing is the result.

I sincerely wish you a successful meeting with the best man for you! With the man of your dreams.

And when you meet, do not make the typical mistakes that spoil even the most wonderful relationship. You can read about this

Be happy!

And share your dating stories in the comments!

Subscribe to my blog and see you soon.

I hug you, Anastasia Smolinets.

To be a single man means to be free, independent, attractive to women. Freedom and independence of a single woman often go along with a feeling of loss, the desire to find love, your other half. Loneliness becomes an invisible enemy that you so want to defeat.

Why does this happen: on the one hand, a woman is looking for a serious relationship, and on the other, she is tired of constant search, and she remains alone? What traps does she fall into that she cannot easily and freely leave her status as a loner? I propose to sort out these difficult issues.

Trap one - high expectations

"I only need a prince on a white horse"

I would like to have smart, attentive, caring, romantic, and economic at the same time nearby. These are just a few points, and for a Man of Dreams there can be more than 100 of them. I really want the fairy tale to come true, so that the lovers live happily ever after, and so on.

It would seem, what's the catch here? Does anyone want to live with an indifferent, stupid, stingy man, and even a lazy man to boot? Of course not. Simply by falling into the trap of inflated expectations, we mix illusion and reality. Most often this is manifested in the fact that a woman expects mutually exclusive or inappropriate qualities from the same person. A simple example: rarely a man can simultaneously be an exemplary family man, a responsible, economic, and romantic hero. In any case, there will be something more in a man: either he will sing serenades under the window, prepare a bath with rose petals, but sit without work and not know how to change the outlet. Or you will feel like behind a stone wall, without thinking about everyday life and household, but your man will express love precisely by his deeds - making money, helping around the house, and all sorts of romantic surprises and armfuls of flowers without a reason for him will be a waste of money and stupidity.

Therefore, in order not to look for a prince's whole life, you need to understand: what is most important, and what you are ready to close your eyes to. Which of the entire list of requirements is vital? It is desirable that these points should be no more than five.

Trap two - high self-esteem

"I deserve only the best man. A man must match me."

The second position is close to the first, but in this case the woman exalts her own virtues to such an extent that men are simply afraid to approach such a "beautiful and clever woman." Now everywhere they say that you need to believe in yourself, love yourself for who you are - and then fans will appear.

In this case, self-love is brought to a certain absurdity: a woman realizes herself as much as possible in the profession, attends trainings and courses, and at the same time makes a lot of efforts to maintain physical attractiveness. She really becomes a cover girl - there is nothing to complain about. But somehow I don’t want to be around either ... A man needs to either be on horseback all the time, proving his compliance with the impeccable appearance of his companion, or immediately admit that he is not ideal: he is not so ambitious, he earns less, and he does not follow his figure so thoroughly.

Trap three - fear of loneliness

"I am so afraid to be left alone, and therefore I cling to any man"

Women fall into this trap, for whom the very existence of relationships is more important than their quality. The case when the desire to get married is caused precisely by the fear of one's own loneliness. Most often, this behavior is due to the fact that the childhood of such women passed under the increased control of the parents, who strove to be with their daughter all the time, wanting to support, warn, and protect from mistakes. But in fact, when this girl grew up, she was faced with the fact that she simply does not know what she wants, does not trust her own opinion - it is much easier and safer for her to be led than to take the initiative in a relationship herself. This trap is most dangerous in that women, experiencing anxiety about their own loneliness, the fact that they cannot make decisions on their own, sometimes choose relationships in which there is more suffering than love. Indeed, if a woman lives according to the principle "as you say, beloved", "I am ready for anything for you," it is very easy for a man to control her, to use his power.

Trap four - emphasized independence

"I don't need anyone, or I'm a cat that walks by itself."

This female position is now very common - women in many spheres have surpassed men, feeling themselves with them, if not on an equal footing, then even a little higher. In such a model of behavior, a woman demonstrates her own independence, showing others how well she is alone, how cool it is to belong only to herself, to do what you want, not to report to anyone, to communicate freely with her friends, to spend money - a whole bunch of joys!

The need for freedom and independence is really very important for any person, regardless of gender. In this case, she takes a leading position, masking mistrust of the opposite sex, fear of close relationships and at the same time a desperate desire to become a weak woman, to allow a man to provide a reliable rear.

Trap five - a child's position in a relationship with a man

"You're bad! I'm offended!" (A woman is either naughty, demanding that it was just the way she wants, or "pouts")

The most important component of a long-term relationship is the ability to communicate, negotiate, hear and listen to each other. It often happens that a woman seems to be confident in herself, ready for a relationship, marriage, and as a result, it turns out that she does not hear her partner, misunderstands his words and actions, altering in her own way - that is, in a relationship with a man, a woman leads herself, like a little girl, naively blinking her eyes. All kinds of insults, whims, manipulations, ultimatums and other female tricks are included here.

Loneliness is perceived as an enemy that you have to fight, as your own flaw that you need to get rid of as soon as possible, as a problem that must be solved. “If I am alone, it means that nobody needs me,” “I will never marry,” “I will not have my own family,” “I’m unhappy,” these are just some of the thoughts that haunt a single woman. And men feel it. Or rather, the fact that unnecessary responsibility is imposed on them. Of course, they are pleased to hear the words "I am very good with you", "I love you", "I want to be with you." On the other hand, a woman's excessive demonstration of how bad she is without her beloved often signals emotional dependence, a woman's inability to be an adult next to a man.

How to avoid the pitfalls?

A single woman wants and fears strong attachment at the same time. It is this contradiction that sometimes scares off men who are looking for long-term relationships. What is a woman to do?

1. First of all, it is important to change your own attitude towards loneliness. As long as you fight it, it will be the enemy. Think why, why did this pause arise in your life? Perhaps right now you need to learn more, to realize some forgotten dreams and interests?
2. Find the bonuses you get from being a single woman. Try to answer the question: what do you allow yourself now that you could not afford if you lived with a man? These can be everyday little things ("I spend less time cooking and cleaning", "I come home when I want", "I spend more time with my friends"), but they can be very important.
3. Reconsider your expectations for men. It is not necessary to evaluate everyone you meet as a candidate for the role of the chosen one. Treat the men around you humanly, because no matter how trite it sounds, men are also people, with their own problems, achievements, joys in life.
4. Take risks! Start dating, flirting, showing a keen interest in another person - instead of scanning if this man meets your 150 points. Learn to maintain relationships with men just like that, and not just with the prospect of starting a family!
5. Start enjoying your freedom and independence! If now you learn to live easily and confidently on your territory, it will be much easier for you to respect the personal space of your loved one, and men appreciate it very much.

Women are more accustomed to perceiving loneliness as a weakness, personal failure and expect that with the advent of the Man of Dreams, their life will radically change, sparkle with bright colors. But what if these paints are already there? If loneliness is just that time of accumulation of strength, that pause that will open up your femininity, your ability to give and receive love. Try to trust your freedom, and then meeting yourself will quietly help you meet a man. Not ideal, but real - and precisely yours, close and dear.