National holidays of the Roma people. Family and calendar customs of the Gypsies N. Bessonov, N. Demeter

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Most of our ideas about gypsy culture are true. They really adore bright decorations and pretentiousness, and yet they do not skimp on emotions: if it is a wedding, so that the whole world will know, if there is a quarrel, so that several future generations will not talk to each other.

Contemporary communities of, say, American Roma look slightly different than we might imagine: women are not necessarily wearing long colored skirts and headscarves. However, there is something that all members of the community strictly follow.

For example, it is very rare for a gypsy to get an education. We are in site Many were surprised by this and decided to learn about other rules of behavior that gypsy girls should follow.

Marriage traditions

Gypsies sacredly honor their culture, and a newcomer from the outside, claiming to be a gypsy woman, is called Gorger - that is, one who does not belong to their community and is not a gypsy. Girls mostly find their love among the community, with rare exceptions. The desire to preserve their own culture is so great that marriages between cousins ​​and sisters are not uncommon here.

A girl must marry a virgin. What will happen to the gypsy woman who has not kept her innocence until the wedding? She is considered dirty and defiled the community. In doing so, she risks being stranded: no Gypsy man would go against the rules of the community by marrying her after she gave herself up to someone else.

By the way, the average age of marriage is 16–17 years for girls and 18–19 years for guys, and this marriage, according to tradition, should last a lifetime. A gypsy woman who is married may not even think about divorce. In the Roma community, repeated marriages are not encouraged, and in order not to “defile” the community, a woman can enter into only one marriage for her entire life.

It is extremely rare for women to part with their husbands. And, as a rule, they no longer enter into new relationships. In the eyes of the community, this casts a shadow not only on her, but also on her daughters.

Submission to parents

The girl growing up in the Roma community is surrounded from an early age by the rules dictated by her parents. Of course, such a system is present in most other cultures, but in the Roma culture, the parents (and especially the father) have great authority, and the daughter is obliged to do what she is told. As she grows older, she is allowed to leave the house only when accompanied by family members (and these are not necessarily parents - sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles can accompany the gypsy).

For the same reason, parents often choose a husband for their daughter without relying on her opinion. Arranged marriages are not uncommon among Roma. And after the parents give the gypsy in marriage, she will be obliged to honor and obey her husband in the same way as her parents.

Boys have much more freedom in this regard - they can leave the house alone, choose a bride on their own, etc.

You can't call the police

As a rule, Roma clarify their affairs loudly and noisily, often rushing into a fight with representatives of a hostile family. And this is also part of their traditions. However, all problems are solved within families, without the involvement of the law. It is not in their rules to sue or call a police outfit: Roma are more likely to come in droves to the house of their rivals or arrange a showdown at a wedding. In the worst case, the family will disown the one who calls the police for a showdown. Anyone in the Roma community must know that doing this is against the rules. Men accept this, but some girls are still trying to call their raging relatives to order with the help of the law.

We'll have to come to terms with the violence

Domestic violence in Roma communities is incredibly high. A study in England found that 61% of married Roma women in England experience spousal violence. Women are forced to put up with this. Gypsy Sisters participant Mellie says that once her ex-husband locked her in a trailer, and when she managed to get out, he hit her several times. The girl's family convinced her to accept the man back. The girl explains why this is: "This is a gypsy tradition, and it must be honored."

Maintain a clean home

If in most countries a woman can afford not to be a housewife and sometimes be lazy to clean, then for a gypsy woman this is unforgivable. Hygiene plays an important role in Roma culture, and it is the woman who is responsible for maintaining cleanliness in the house. She must comply with several rules, in particular, not to share her dishes or cutlery with anyone, including her spouse. All dishes are washed several times: under running water, in a separate bowl with boiling water and again under running water.

Men and women must be washed separately. The upper part of the body is considered clean, while the lower part is dirty, so that clothes “to the waist” and “below the waist” are washed separately from each other. Well, of course, underwear is also subject to personal washing.

Pregnancy is a special period

Pregnant woman should not make physical contact with someone. At this time, she does not even sleep in the same bed with her husband. It is supposed to take water procedures only in consecrated water. In addition, a gypsy woman carrying a child is freed from household duties: during this period, her husband prepares food and keeps the house clean.

American Roma, however, sometimes neglect this rule - their women are more independent.

Wear bright and provocative clothing

Despite the fact that the behavior of the gypsy should be chaste, her outfit should downright scream the opposite. Thus, she can attract the attention of her future husband without making any effort (because a gypsy girl cannot get to know the guys first). The most striking example of this behavior is the American gypsies, who dress up every day as if they were a holiday. And if a wedding or birthday is planned, use go the most spectacular jewelry and the most luxurious dresses.

Can't go up to the 2nd floor

Photographer Yevgeny Domansky captured how the male and female parts of the Kotlyar Gypsy camp enter the bus through different doors so as not to touch.

In Romani culture, the concept of "filth" is still widespread, with which the lower body is considered dirty is directly related. This does not apply to girls and virgin girls, but a sexually mature married woman is considered "unclean" below the waist, and to touch her skirt or shoes means "defiled." Because of this, if a family lives in a 2-storey building, a woman was forbidden to go up to the 2nd floor - only children and young girls were allowed there. But in some houses of gypsies on the 1st floor there is a garage, so the woman automatically found herself on the 2nd. Other Gypsies say about people living in such houses that they have “become defiled”. For the same reason, because of the "filth", during the feast, women sit separately from men.

Guests to men and women also come separately.

It is customary among the Kotlyar gypsies that a married woman can only wear a skirt. Kirill Kozhanov says that unmarried girls-kotlyarki often wear jeans, and after marriage they can put on a skirt right over them.

Certainly, some of the features of gypsy life are outdated. Moreover, they are also quite cruel towards the girl. What do you know about any other similar traditions in other countries?

Maria Bachenina: Hello!

Konstantin Kuksin: Hello!

Daniil Kuznetsov: Good afternoon.

M.B .: When I invited you to talk about gypsies, you said that they are your favorite people. In short, why did you love him?

K.K .: I fell in love with the gypsies when I went to them on the first expedition. I prepared seriously, knowing what they were - I put all the money on a card, and sewed the card under my shirt, because I knew that I would immediately be deceived or robbed. And then I became friends with them. And if I had to lead a nomadic life, I would probably live with gypsies. From the very beginning this nation seemed to me interesting and close, and quite recently I learned that my great-grandfather was a gypsy. All the time I thought that my grandmother was Jewish: black-haired, Yakovlevna. And dad recently said that his great-grandfather was a gypsy. Tsygan Yakov, violinist, 13 children.

M.B .: How did you agree with them? It's like coming to someone else's house and asking to live.

K.K .: And what is the general work of a field anthropologist or ethnographer? We come, we see a yurt in the steppe, we go in, we say that we have come from afar, we study different cultures. It saves that people are almost all hospitable. You are invited, and then, in the process of communication, the relationship either develops or does not. If they don't add up, which I didn't have, I have to go to another yurt, tent, yaranga. But usually the relationship develops, and you stay to live there. They are also interested: an unusual person has arrived from afar. The question always arises of who studies whom: we are them or they are us.

It was difficult with the gypsies, because this is a closed community. They divide everyone into friends and foes. Gypsies are " romale ", "rum".

M.B .: That's what they call themselves, right?

K.K .: Yes, this is a self-name. And all the rest - drywall... "Gazhi" ("gadzhi") are not gypsies, they treat them badly. If drywall is treated badly, then you can deceive, cheat, this is not a sin. It is very difficult to understand this line between drywall and romale. And if you manage to do this, then the gypsies become your friends and begin to trust you.

D.K .: And how does this happen?

K.K .: Differently. For example, I did the following with one group of gypsies: I bought an accordion at the bazaar, came to the camp and started playing on it, the gypsy children came running and dragged me to the camp themselves. The peasants forge there, I can forge. And in the evening we danced together. Somewhere Gypsies live poorly, but we bought a car of food, came to them, fed them and it began: songs, dances.

Roma are afraid of strangers, because they do not always officially live on the territory, they do not always have documents. What if you're from the police? If they see that you are an ordinary person, then they begin to trust.

And with fortune-telling as it was: we arrived at the camp and asked to tell fortunes. The gypsies said they were telling fortunes, but later. And then we became friends, sang, danced. In the morning we wake up, again we ask to tell fortunes, and they answer us that they cannot: they do not guess for their own. But they promised, so they got into the car, brought a fortune-teller from a neighboring camp, she wondered for us.

M.B .: That is, they don’t guess each other?

K.K .: Gypsies cannot deceive each other.

D.K .: Is fortune telling always a deception?

K.K .: Not always. But this is an opportunity to make money. And the opportunity to make money is always a bit of a deception. As the Russians say, you can't cheat - you can't sell.

M.B .: Do they take part in the population census?

K.K .: Yes but not all. It is very difficult to find out exactly how many gypsies there are.

M.B .: And how are they treated in the world?

K.K .: Differently. In general, Russians initially treat gypsies well. It's just that we are such a people, we generally treat everyone well. We may laugh at someone, but we still love. If the Russians were different, there would be no Russian Federation. But somehow we all live together.

Gypsies treat Russians well too. They say that Russians are kind, generous and naive - ideal friends. And in Europe, there is a sharply negative attitude towards Roma: in Romania, Bulgaria, Serbia. We arrive in Bulgaria, get off the train, the taxi driver says: "Where are your things? Be careful, there are a lot of gypsies here." We didn’t even dare to tell him that we were going to them.

D.K .: That is, there are stereotypes everywhere that gypsies are thieves and swindlers?

M.B .: Why then did they not historically organize their state?

K.K .: I'll tell you an anecdote from the tsarist era. “Once a gypsy was asked:“ What would you do if you became a king? ”The gypsy scratched his head and said:“ How what? I would steal a hundred rubles and run away. "

M.B .: Obviously, the mentality is not the same.

K.K .: They do not want and cannot. This is an amazing people, they have lived for many centuries among other ethnic groups and do not dissolve in them. I know two such people: Jews and Gypsies. The Jews are made whole by the religion of the chosen people, and the Roma are made whole by the feeling that they are Roma, not like everyone else. And also the caste system.

M.B .: How then is their society organized? Does it exist - landless, stateless?

K.K .: Yes.

M.B .: What are the laws, rules, orders?

K.K .: The first is the myth of who the "gypsy baron" is. It has nothing to do with the title of nobility, it is from the gypsy "baro"- big, senior, chief. How to become a baron? For example, I need to bring a camp from Chisinau to Moscow, I agreed with the head of the train. We arrived, there were problems with the police, I went and made an agreement. In general, if I take responsibility, then people say that "here he is, our baron." If I did something wrong, dishonestly, the gypsies will say: "What kind of baron are you for us?" And they will leave. It's not the baron who decides everything, but "Chris"- the descent of the gypsies. Solution chris- the law even for the baron.

D.K .: That is, the Roma have practically a republic?

K.K .: These are clans where several families live together and roam together. Sometimes other families join them. AND Chris decides everything. This is, in fact, direct democracy. And adult women, for example, have the right to vote there.

M.B .: Do they go to church? They are Orthodox.

K.K .: Necessarily. They are Christians. In Soviet times, when the Russian crosses were removed and the icons were thrown away, the gypsies remained Christians. Gypsies who lived in Ottoman Turkey paid taxes to Muslims, but remained Christians.

M.B .: How do they pray? And do they go to temples?

K.K .: In each tent they have icons, large golden crosses. A bit kitsch style, but they are sincere believers: there is a God who loves them very much. "Saint George just stopped by recently, they stole the golden stirrup from him."

M.B .: So this is such a naive belief?

K.K .: A very lively, genuine faith.

M.B .: I wanted to ask about the funeral. Is it a tradition that people are buried with property, in the clothes in which a person died, and in order for everything to fit, they dig a hole the size of a room, lay out the walls with bricks and cover them with carpets?

K.K .: The excavator is called!

M.B .: The workers told me at the cemetery.

K.K .: Yes, jeeps and computers are buried. These are remnants of paganism.

M.B .: They then guard these graves, excuse me for the cynicism?

K.K .: No one will dare to quarrel with the gypsies.

M.B .: Vengeful? An eye for an eye?

K.K .: If you deliberately hurt the gypsies, they will take revenge. But in general they are a very peaceful people, we have collected a criminal chronicle about them for 600 years.

M.B .: How do they take revenge? It seemed to me that gypsies don't kill.

K.K .: They don't kill. This has been going on since Indian times: if you kill, you ruin karma. Religion has changed long ago, but it remains. Murders are extremely rare. To deceive, to steal - yes, it is not even very sinful, but to kill - no. But to set fire to the village is easy.

M.B .:"Not touchy, but I will burn down the house."

D.K .: It turns out that their religion is syncretic: there are elements of Christianity, Hinduism, and paganism.

K.K .: Gypsies came from India, and for a long time people wondered what kind of caste it was. They thought it was inferior, since there they were all persecuted, and here they are humiliated. It turned out that the castes were different. And the caste tradition has survived. For example, if the gypsy was a blacksmith working with black metal, he could not do any other business. If before the gypsy bred horses, now he sells cars, and so on.

M.B .: But we live in the 21st century. Can't a person be born who says he doesn't want to sell cars?

K.K .: They will say to him: "Well, get out of here, live with drywall, go to university." There are many Roma with higher education, they are wonderful people. They are gypsies by blood, but in the head - no longer.

M.B .: It turns out that if he enters the university, he enters by caste?

K.K .: No. He must live in a camp and do what his ancestors did. Here is my great-grandfather - a gypsy, and what do I do? I sing, I dance, I tell you stories.

There are exceptions, but the Roma are trying to find these niches in the changed world. There were horses, now cars.

M.B .: If a gypsy goes into society, he has already fought off the camp, is he on his own?

K.K .: Most likely, he will live in the city, will not wander, and will leave traditions. As a result, his descendants will dissolve in another ethnic group.

M.B .: Continuing about tradition, what can you tell us about gypsy weddings? A recent video on the Internet amazed everyone: there was a bride hung with money and gold. This is crazy money, they save up for the wedding all their lives, or what?

K.K .: Yes, all my life. It happens that after the wedding, a rich family becomes poor, but no one will say that they had a poorer wedding than their neighbors. It all starts with the fact that you have a girl, I have a boy, I am going to you with a birch, the twigs of which are made of euros and dollars, and I say: "You have a product, we have a merchant, let's talk." For two weeks you say no, and I feed your camp for these two weeks. When you said that okay, let's get married, you are already feeding my camp, and I give you a gold coin that will hang over the cradle. That is, the girl at birth is already betrothed.

And if I, the father of a 15-year-old boy, lost time and went to the camps, thinking that I would find him now a clever and beautiful woman, there will be girls everywhere with coins - everyone is betrothed. And I will already think that I could find at least some. You need to do this in advance.

D.K .: Is 15 years too late?

K.K .: I saw a 13 year old mom. At the age of 11, a gypsy woman can be married. They are motivated by chastity.

M.B .: Of course, if at the age of 11 the girl was married, it is unlikely that she could lose her "chastity" before the wedding.

K.K .: They are the most chaste people. There is not a single case in history that a gypsy was a prostitute. It is amazing.

M.B .: Is there no rape either?

K.K .: No. At the age of 11, she's still definitely a girl, I give her away, then answer for her.

D.K .: Are there any divorces?

K.K .: No. It happens that they run away.

M.B .: Adultery?

K.K .: Here is a girl in a cradle, growing up, met a boy, fell in love, and must marry another gypsy, whom she does not even know. And she escapes.

I had a case in Romania. We go to the gypsy woman, the translator calls her, and she says: "Just don't tell your father, I ran away, we are already at the German border." If you escaped, such a commotion begins there, the chase is horror. You need to run to any church, fall into the legs of the priest: "Marry, we love each other." Or in another camp, where they are not known, the baron will marry.

M.B .: Will they ever forgive their own?

D.K .: Or how will they be punished if they get caught?

K.K .: They won't kill him, but they will seriously beat him. And the daughters will say: "Take the icon, kiss and say that you will not run away." She says she won't, she will run away anyway. Then I myself will forge the shackles and bind her, but I am a blacksmith, for example, so that I do not bring shame on my family. Here it is, the notorious gypsy freedom.

D.K .: Can another camp receive them?

K.K .: Maybe. It may be that they came running after them, and the baron had already married them, he has the right to do so.

M.B .: With all these gypsy "show-offs", begging is not considered a humiliating occupation?

K.K .: What's humiliating about him?

M.B .: For example, it's hard for me to say, "Give me money."

K.K .: This is female caste work. A gypsy woman can leave a five-story mansion with a Lexus at the entrance and go barefoot to the bazaar to beg. There is a caste of thieves in India, although they can be very wealthy. One rich thief comes to another and leaves something valuable on purpose - he kind of steals. Then they change. They follow the caste tradition. So are the gypsies. In general, the work of a gypsy woman consists of two parts. The first is begging. Oh, how they beg! Some cannot break themselves, but in general this is very Christian, this is humility: to fall on your knees, cry, tug at your clothes, to pity.

M.B .: This is a great master class: asking for help must be taught from childhood.

K.K .: And that's not bad. After all, gypsy beggars before the revolution softened social tension in Russian society, because the peasant thought that there was someone who lives worse than him: there, everyone chases her, she walks barefoot in winter. And if she begged for something, you shouldn't let the person go: "Oh, kind person, clear eyes, affectionate heart, let me tell you fortunes."

M.B .: Is this gratitude? Or to take the rest?

K.K .: It depends on what kind of person. They can just tell fortunes, or they can continue to untwist.

D.K .: Hypnotize.

K.K .: Yes. We spent a whole budget on researching gypsy fortune-telling. It's very simple: when a gypsy asks for your hair, wraps it in a piece of paper, she does not pull money out of you. The earrings in her ears swing, she mutters something - it's like a trance. All the time I tried to track the moment when my consciousness changes. It's impossible.

D.K .: Have you been hypnotized?

K.K .: Oh sure. Class! Twice I have met real fortune-tellers. They tell their whole lives straight. All the rest are super psychologists, they absorb it with their mother's milk. In a crowd of people they immediately see who will give, who will not, who to approach, who is not needed. Why do you think gypsies work at train stations?

M.B .: There are many people there.

K.K .: There are even more in the subway.

D.K .: Is the person at a loss?

K.K .: The person fell out of the familiar environment. He comes to Moscow from the provinces, he is already shaken. Here, not far from the Museum of Matrona of Moscow on Taganka, gypsies work all the time. Women with their problems go to Matrona, and here the gypsies are nearby - what if it works out?

M.B .: And what are their fortune-telling based on? You can guess on cards, by hand ...

K.K .: I can guess on anything. I can take your phone and tell fortunes on it.

M.B .: That is, they have different ways?

K.K .: Of course. We wondered on a shell, on the icon of the Mother of God, on an old coin. This is psychology. Of course, there are special layouts. Moreover, the gypsies are guessing, and the men rarely guess. I know one English gypsy - a very powerful fortuneteller. One day he predicted the death of a family, and within a year they all died. After that, he took this deck in his hands, threw it into the river and never wondered again.

D.K .:: Is this a regular deck or Tarot?

K.K .: You can read Tarot, you can use ordinary ones, the main thing is not to play them.

M.B .: And how not to succumb or how to get out of the hypnotic state? A doctor I know wrote that the autonomic system is malfunctioning, peripheral vision disappears, everything is bubbling. I was hypnotized, I can say that you feel that you are doing something wrong, not of your own free will, but you still do it. It's hard to believe in it.

D.K .: Can you describe some techniques?

K.K .: They make eye contact. They have a special frequency of speech, timbre. It's like striking a shaman tambourine. And gradually, in this way, they enter into a trance. There is a method of questions: tell me this, this. If she guessed something, she says: "You see, I see you." If not, then asks for more information. And so you spread everything about your life, then she brings you out of the trance, clapping her hands, and says: "I know everything about you!" And tells everything about your life. It makes a lasting impression, and you start to believe.

With men it is more difficult, of course. If possible, the gypsy will approach the girl, because they are ready to believe her. Although there are also naive young men. On my expedition, three girls went to tell fortunes. One sobbed bitterly, the other sobbed too, began to take off everything from herself. It was our camp, gypsies, our friends, they are laughing. And then one employee went - a student of a shamaness. It was the "Battle of the Psychics". He put up barriers, the gypsy just flinched. The grandmother was already freaked out. I say to the girl: "Have pity on the old woman, her blow will be enough now." In general, it turned out that these are very similar methods of introducing into a trance.

M.B .: I found instructions on how to protect yourself from gypsies on the Internet: “You need a pocket mirror. to hurt - it will only harm you. If, nevertheless, the gypsy came up to you, take out a mirror and point it at her. It is believed that this will turn all her words and intentions against herself. Use the confusion and leave. Also, do not show jewelry and wallet. " ... About the mirror - this is bullshit, in my opinion. Or are they afraid of it?

K.K .: Against the Basilisk, the mirror helped Harry Potter, I remember.

M.B .: The aspen stake also helps someone.

K.K .: Yes, and silver bullets. It's very simple: don't make eye contact. Or, if a gypsy woman came up in the train, you can say: "How cool! Are you gypsies? Where is your camp? I work in the Museum of Nomadic Culture, I am writing a scientific work about your people, let's go to you?" You will not have time to finish, as they will be gone. They love to learn everything about others, but he does not want to tell himself. And if you are invited ... Well, go to the camp and meet the gypsies.

M.B .: Who is the boss of the house?

K.K .: Man. Absolute master.

M.B .: And what is the functional of a woman, her holy duties? And the responsibilities of men?

K.K .: First, a ransom should be paid for the girl, and a dowry should be given to the girl. The gypsies try to keep the ransom and dowry at the same price. And this is publicly given, otherwise the camp will say: "We bought her, who is she?" The position of women among the Roma is not high, especially among the young. If she gave birth to children, then the situation is better. But an adult gypsy who raised her sons is a very respected woman. It happens that she even runs a camp.

M.B .: And the sons obey and honor her?

K.K .: Of course.

M.B .: Why are their children so dirty?

K.K .: Gypsies say: "A dirty child is a happy child."

M.B .: This is not only the gypsies who speak.

K.K .: They adore children, this is their main wealth. They are allowed everything, they are not punished. It happens that the father kicks the ass, and then: "Oh, little one, give me a kiss, why am I doing this to you." Children cannot be brought up by strictness. They can do anything. Over there, in the train or in the subway, a gypsy girl walks, pesters everyone, and mommy smiles: what a fine fellow!

D.K .: And up to what age is he considered a child?

K.K .: At the age of 11–12, the boy is already a grown man. He walks with his head held high: he is a gypsy!

M.B .: What do they cook?

K.K .: Gypsies have always lived inside another people. No gypsy costume, music, cuisine. Well, they asked for a little flour, cucumbers, tomatoes, grapes, and what, the man will say: "Well, wife, cook something gypsy for me"? No, what they asked for is what they eat. Or they would have begged for clothes and the man would have said: "Change to gypsy!" Of course not. Usually they bake cakes right next to the tent in the ashes of the fire. This is a very dense and nutritious bread. They love tea. Russian gypsies drank with samovars, from a saucer, like merchants. And in Eastern Europe, they can add fruit to tea.

The gypsies also ate hedgehogs. I myself have not tried it, but hedgehogs were baked and eaten.

D.K .: With needles?

K.K .: Yes, they baked them with needles, and then somehow they took them off. This is exotic, yes.

M.B .: In general, what kind of meat do they prefer?

K.K .: What is. But everything will be at the wedding. When in the old days the gypsies played a wedding, they bought a barrel of moonshine, carried it on horseback and watered all the Russian villages.

D.K .: You mentioned gypsy children, but we have all read Hugo's book "The Man Who Laughs". It describes how gypsies steal babies, put them in vats so that they turn into tumblers, make scars on their faces and so on.

K.K .: He also has a book "Notre Dame Cathedral" about the stolen Esmeralda.

D.K .: Is it generally based on real facts?

K.K .: Of course. Light-colored people appear among the gypsies, Russians, for example. In general, this myth was debunked by the Vedomosti newspaper back in the 19th century. Gypsies do not steal children. There are many of our own, why an extra mouth? But it so happens that a Gypsy family is childless, this is a tragedy for any family, and especially for a Gypsy family. It is impossible to find a gypsy child of no one, they are all attached. There were cases when gypsies roamed the villages, found a family in which their mother died in childbirth, the man was drinking. And the gypsy family is childless, and they begged their children, even offered money. And they gave away the children. "Vedomosti" described the case: a boy grew up, with an earring in his ear - a fair-haired, blue-eyed Vanya. In the camp, journalists found him and said: "You are Russian, your mother died, you were taken by the gypsies." And he told them with an accent: “Why are you telling me this? That's where all these myths come from.

D.K .: But since they have a clan system, it is clear that they "interbreed" with each other and an accumulation of recessive genes occurs ...

M.B .: Errors.

K.K .: For this accumulation to work, millennia must pass, even if you marry your sisters. Egypt died out for a long time.

D.K .: But the gypsies are thousands of years old.

K.K .: But we take from another camp, from ours. That is, this is exogamy - they do not marry their own people, no degeneration can be traced among the gypsies. Well, and then, the blood is refreshed all the time. My great-grandfather, for example, had a Russian wife.

M.B .: Was he kicked out for this?

K.K .: No, he brought her to the camp, poor. He loved her madly. They had 13 children. When she died of typhus, he was completely lost, did not know how to raise them. Some he added to orphanages, some roamed with him. And he himself died of grief a year later from longing for his wife. It is good that the elder brother was the first to leave the orphanage and gathered everyone together. Gypsies do not abandon their own people, this is very important.

M.B .: Do the gypsies have drunkenness?

K.K .: Can not be. Even people who in the Middle Ages received the task to discredit the gypsies said: "This vile people has one feature - they don't drink." Although at the Gypsy party you will see a huge amount of alcohol. They walk, but they know when to stop. Two young gypsies are on duty all the time. If someone has become dull, they lead him under the white handles into a special room. If there is someone drunk at the gypsy holiday, it is a shame. It is normal to give water to Russian villages, but they themselves use it in moderation.

M.B .: What's your favorite gypsy movie?

K.K .: Many.

M.B .: And the most beloved one?

K.K .: I really like "Hare over the Abyss". It is very funny - about how in the Brezhnev era, gypsies cannot marry, there is no money for a ransom. And the girl's father says: "Bring me Brezhnev's limousine like a horse, then she's yours." And the film is about how he is looking for this car.

M.B .: Have they become less popular compared to Soviet times? "Tabor goes to heaven", "My affectionate and gentle animal", "Cruel romance", "Elusive avengers". It was some kind of boom, romance.

K.K .: It was not a boom, but competent work with the population of the Soviet government. Roma began to be taken to school, they received citizenship. They worked with them, they were not chased, as in Europe. And, naturally, it was necessary to introduce some positive image of the "new gypsy" into popular culture.

M.B .: And which of the Soviet films is the most truthful?

K.K .:"Tabor Goes to Heaven" is a good film.

M.B .: Zemfira is there.

K.K .: Zemfira is the prototype of all gypsy women, Pushkin's love. When Pushkin was exiled to Bessarabia and he roamed with the gypsies, he fell in love with Zemfira. Everyone understood that a Russian nobleman would never marry a gypsy camp girl, especially Pushkin. And he followed her, and her father sent her to another camp. But this is Pushkin! He has two pistols in his belt - and in pursuit. And the baron met: "Oh, what have you done! Why did you chase after my Zemfira? There was a lover in that camp, I found out that you were going, - he pulled out a knife and stabbed her, and then drove a knife into his heart. We buried them. yesterday". Pushkin sobbed for two weeks, and Zemfira successfully married a gypsy.

D.K .: The poet was deceived.

K.K .: They did not deceive, but planted a plot on him. And he poured out all his melancholy in the poem "Gypsies".

M.B .: Are the names Zemfira, Carmen, Esmeralda still popular?

K.K .: There are gypsy names that are very popular. Loiko, for example. Or Nasco - a derivative of Atanas. There are Byzantine and Slavic names. And there are the usual ones.

M.B .: Masha, Sasha, Seryozha?

K.K .: Oh sure. It all depends on what country the gypsies live in.

D.K .: And their language is Indo-European?

K.K .: Yes. My Romanian Gypsy friends watch Indian films without translation, they understand everything. But there are dialects: Ruska Roma, Hungarian Roma, Polish Roma. It is a Gypsy language, interspersed with the words of the language of the people among whom they live.

M.B .: Is this a simple language? Is it easy to learn?

K.K .: Not easy, but you can learn. I sing songs in gypsy. You sing and you learn the words.

D.K .: Everyone has seen the movie with Brad Pitt "Big Jackpot", there are gypsies. They are also in the stories of Arthur Conan Doyle about Sherlock Holmes. But in fact, ethnically they are practically all Irish. They are called Pavey, or Irish travelers, - Irish travelers. But at the same time, all their customs and language are gypsy. Why?

K.K .: When the gypsies left India, they came to Byzantium. They were very well received there, they lived there for 300 years. They wrote about them that they were a useful people, did all the work, began to lead a sedentary lifestyle. But these gypsies were not of the highest castes, they did not know the Vedic religion well and adopted Greek Orthodox Christianity. Moreover, while living in Byzantium, they began to call themselves "Roma" - Romans. Now these are the last Byzantines on the planet. But Byzantium was dying under the onslaught of the Turks, and part of the Gypsies decided to leave for the West. There were a lot of adventurers there - who are not such people, they will drop everything and leave? And they came to Europe. If all gypsies were honest, their fate might have been different. Because they have in many ways turned the people against themselves. The earliest were the groups that made it to England and Ireland. They sailed there, but where next? There are few gypsies, closely related marriages are prohibited, so they began to mix with the British and Irish. Therefore, their appearance has changed, and the language and traditions have remained Gypsy. These were the first migrants from Byzantium to Western Europe - Travelers. Nowadays many people live very richly, but they do not forget that they are gypsies. I will not say that Big Jackpot is a very true film ...

M.B .: But interesting.

K.K .: In general, it is better not to mess with gypsies. Do not offend them, treat them like people, and they will treat you the same way. The main thing is to break the gap between drywall and rum. I succeeded, and you will succeed too!

The Roma people have their own norms of behavior for members of the community, and the law also regulates relations between Roma and representatives of other nationalities. The most important rule from this list is the need to behave appropriately when dealing with non-Roma and to observe the customs adopted by other peoples. But the Romani law disapproves of interethnic marriages, although they are not officially prohibited.

Gypsy law

In general, the set of rules of conduct is the same for all sub-ethnic groups of Russian Gypsies, despite their huge number and differences in views.

There is a strict ban on rape, murder, severe physical harm, and so on.

This also includes the rules of decency when receiving guests: it is necessary to ensure that they feel comfortable, treat them with respect and take care of their convenience.

The greatest number of laws and restrictions are imposed on relations within the Roma community. Almost all spheres of life are regulated here: starting with the correct choice of clothes and ending with how exactly it is necessary to communicate with other representatives rum. There is a standard for weddings and religious holidays and a list of professional areas that are not shameful for a gypsy or a gypsy woman.

The Roma society is equal in rights, since it adheres to the rule: "No Roma should stand above the other." The term "baron" has no relation to reality and is used mainly in films and TV series.

The gypsies themselves are ironic towards people who believe in a strict hierarchy in their society.

If there is a recognized leader in the camp, non-Roma (mainly policemen or journalists) are immediately sent to him. If there is no such person, one of the respected members of the community performs his role. Especially for persons unfamiliar with the life of the Roma, he is called a "baron" in order not to indulge in confused explanations. Barons in the classical sense of the word on the territory of Russia exist only among Kotlyarov, but even there they bear little resemblance to the heroes of the TV series "Carmelita".

Traditional Roma culture

Folklore. Gypsies have never lived in isolation, so their folklore was largely influenced by the cultures neighboring with its carriers. However, he did not assimilate and retained his flavor and some unique features.

The most developed among the Gypsies is the culture of folk songs. They greatly influenced the music of other peoples of the world. The performing art of Ruska Roma gained great popularity.

Gypsy literary folklore includes myths, both related to religion and not related to it, tales, carefully preserved family traditions, proverbs, sayings and fairy tales.

Philosophical songs, reflections on how gypsies live, on their culture and spirit, are extremely popular. They sing a lot about love with soul, they also often perform chanson. Songs performed during the dance rarely carry any meaning.

Of the fairy tales, the most common are "horror stories". Through the images of ghouls and the living dead, the storytellers turn to the folk art of the Hindu ancestors. Often in fairy tales there are goblin and brownies familiar to any Russian person.

Not all stories are crowned with a happy ending: sad tales are very common and popular. Some stories are intended to teach children, in a playful way they tell about what is good and what is bad, explain how it is worth living and what should not be done. There are also short stories and anecdotes.

Clothing. The main feature of gypsy costumes around the world is that the cut must necessarily hide the hips and knees. Women wear a long skirt, a shirt with a small collar and a shawl with flowers and fringe that is draped around the body. Young girls wear another smaller shawl on their hips. Women who are married or just grown up wear a headscarf and apron. The latter refers to the national dress for a reason: it is believed that every sexually mature woman is "defiled"; to touch her clothes, which covers her body below the waist, means to defile herself. In addition to cutting off hair and beards, the guilty gypsies were punished by hitting them in the face with a skirt, so that the apron became a kind of obstacle, preventing accidental touching of the skirt.

Gypsy men preferred bright shirts similar in cut to traditional Russians, short vests, loose trousers, boots and a cap. In general, their clothes resemble those worn by the Russian merchants in the 19th century. Trading horses, the Gypsies actively communicated with merchants, as a result of which, apparently, they adopted some of their habits. Unfortunately, in our time, almost no one wears a traditional costume, and something similar can only be seen on singers or dancers.

House. Among the Russian Roma and Gypsy evangelicals, it is believed that the second floor of the house is a place free from filth thanks to the ceilings, so their women are allowed to move freely around the house. Families are not afraid to defile themselves and live quietly in apartment buildings. The views of the kotlyars are much harsher: they believe that the floors are not reliable enough, do not allow women to go upstairs and do not settle in high-rise buildings. Those Gypsies who are not inclined to preserve traditions do not have any strict rules: they live the same way as other Russians.

The main feature of a private gypsy house is the presence of a spacious "public" room, a "hall", which is used when many guests come to the house for a holiday, for example, a wedding or someone's birthday. The gypsies celebrate on a grand scale: all relatives who live nearby or are physically able to get to the designated place are invited. Thus, they maintain close ties within a large family and avoid possible altercations with offended relatives who were not invited.

Gypsy fortune telling. One of the first images that comes to mind when it comes to the Romance people is the fortune teller. It is believed that the famous soothsayer Madame Lenormand, who predicted the future for such iconic personalities as Napoleon and Robespierre, learned fortune-telling from the gypsies.

The most famous and popular are fortune-telling on the hand and cards, however, the skills of gypsies are not limited to them only. They are also proficient with needles, knives, and even beans.

Special respect, of course, is attributed to experienced fortune-tellers, who have earned authority with accurate predictions both in the eyes of the Roma community and among the peoples living in the neighborhood. The notorious "train station" gypsies have nothing to do with divination.

It is known that it was a gypsy woman who at one time predicted A.S. Pushkin's death at the hands of a "white man" who later turned out to be blond Georges Dantes. Also, the representative of the novel owns an amazingly accurate interpretation of the future of V.I. Lenin: she promised her mother that her son would become powerful and famous and win the hearts of many people, only his death would be difficult and painful.

In addition to the usual playing cards, gypsies use tarot cards. Nowadays, it is not a problem to buy any deck, and even with detailed instructions, but earlier the issue was solved differently: fortune-tellers drew cards themselves. Homemade tarot was especially appreciated, since it was believed that, making a deck, a gypsy put a piece of her energy into it, and therefore fortune-telling would be much more accurate and detailed.

When divining on beans, the soothsayer asks the one to whom she is guessing, put a coin in a handful of nine beans in her hand, and then throws them on a table or any other horizontal surface. The coin symbolizes a person, beans - what will happen to him in the future. The beans lying close to the coin indicate its strength, a straight line of them is the road. If the line looks crooked, it indicates impending doubt or trouble. A triangle and a square, respectively, indicate a woman and a man.

Gypsy holidays

The 8th of April is celebrated as the International Day of the Roma, recognized by the UN in 1991.

On the fourth of May and on the night of the twenty-fifth of May, the Romani Catholic saints are venerated: Blessed Seferino and Sarah Kali.

The second of August is remembered for Kali Thrash, the genocide of the Roma.

Gypsy festivals take place all over the world. " Khamoro " spend in Prague, " Romani Yag " celebrating in Montreal, for the festival " Amala " gypsy musical groups gather in Kiev. There are several such festivals in Russia: "Roll the Field", "Gypsies under the Sky of Russia", etc.

Wedding customs and ceremonies.

The rites of the wedding cycle for different ethnic groups have their own local characteristics. The area of ​​formation and nomadism of each of them differed, respectively, the gypsies borrowed some features of the culture of the peoples among whom they lived for a long time.

Concluding a marriage by means of matchmaking was the most common practice. Along with this, at the end of the 19th - 20th centuries, other forms existed.

Gypsies could snatch their children when they were still infants. The parents agreed that a wedding will take place when the children reach a certain age. This agreement was strictly observed. This form of marriage existed among many groups - among the Russian gypsies, as well as among the serfs, kelderars and others. Sometimes the gypsies wooed a girl of 9-10 years old, and if the girl's parents agreed, then they took her to their tent and she lived with them until the age of 13-15, and then a wedding was arranged. In addition, the Kelderars had a custom of exchanging daughters-brides, in Gypsy this is called te keres pe skimbate. That is, when they gave their daughter in marriage, they took the groom's sister as wife to their son. When exchanging brides, the usual ransom was not given, and this was beneficial to both families.

Among all groups of Roma, such a form of marriage as bride kidnapping was also common. This was primarily due to economic reasons - there was no money for the wedding, or to pay the ransom. But more often they resorted to kidnapping if the parents did not allow the boy and girl to marry. In general, abduction by mutual agreement or violent, not fictitious, abductions are provided for by the customs of the Roma, but they were not at all the dominant form of marriage. In addition, the Roma themselves do not welcome this. The outcome of such escapes is twofold: either the young will arrange an escape in such a way that they will not be caught up (then after a while they returned to the camp, where they were accepted as husband and wife). If the boy and girl had time to catch up, the denouement could be the most tragic. This theme is also reflected in the Gypsy folklore.

The places of acquaintance of young people were mainly fairs, which attracted various gypsy camps. It should be noted that the moral norms of the camp life constrained the natural behavior of young men and women. They were not supposed to show sympathy for each other, they did not have the right to meet in private. Such meetings were severely punished and laid a heavy shame on the girl's family. The young man, as a rule, did not choose a bride for himself; this was done by his parents; that is, the wedding in the tabor was arranged by the decision of the elders.

The sedentary population could allow children some liberties. For example, a German guy may choose not one, but another German girl from the same city or the same village. It is much more "dangerous" if the gypsy youth starts looking for happiness on the side. To prevent this from happening, in the camps they went ahead. Parents married their children at thirteen or fourteen years old. Such early marriages were necessary to keep the younger generation within the framework of the traditional way of life. Given that the number of Roma is not that great, this was a radical but necessary measure. Without early marriages, concluded at the behest of their elders, the Gypsies would hardly have survived as a people. Not having their own state, not having a single territory, or a single faith, they could well dissolve in a different ethnic environment. I must say that in our time, the age of marriage is still quite early. Now, of course, it is extremely rare to see newlyweds of 14-15 years old. But in all observed cases, the age of marriage varies within small limits - 16-20 years.

Marriages could be concluded between representatives of different ethnic groups, although marriages within their own group were most approved (as long as the spouses were not relatives).

When choosing a bride, the Gypsies were guided, firstly, by her origin (that is, the wealth and reputation of her parents), secondly, by her beauty, and thirdly, by her business qualities.

Roma weddings were organized at any time of the year, but most often in summer. The exception was the time of Orthodox fasts and mourning days.

A few words must also be said about the economic side of marriage. Kelderars and Crimean gypsies had to pay a ransom for the bride. This was done before the wedding - during or after the matchmaking ceremony. The ransom (for the Kelderars - ando vast - literally "in the hand") is partly a sign of respect for the groom's family, partly compensation for the bride's father for the fact that he is deprived of a potential breadwinner. The size of the ransom was determined during the matchmaking by the father of the bride, guided by the degree of prosperity of the groom's family. Among the Kelderars, the bride was paid in gold coins (galbi). In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the smallest ransom was five ten-ruble coins, the largest was thirty. For Crimean gypsies, the size of the ransom was also determined by the father of the bride during the matchmaking. The Gypsies "bargained", although, of course, the bargaining was in a humorous form. It also happened that the groom's parents were not rich, but the bride's father wanted to give his daughter to this particular family. Then he gave part of the ransom money to his matchmaker. The purpose of such an act was to spread the rumor that he took a large ransom for his daughter.

Unfortunately, this custom aggravated the servitude of the woman in the new family. The husband's parents, having paid in gold for their daughter-in-law, considered themselves to be her full masters. Apparently, this is why the custom of returning part of the ransom in the form of a gift to the young (stuck) appeared. This happened on the second day of the wedding, when guests presented gifts to the young. Thus, the parents tried to make life easier for their daughter. The Kelderars were first given a quarter, then half, and now the entire ransom. The Crimean Gypsies today must return the entire ransom, otherwise the bride's father is condemned by all Gypsies without exception.

Apart from the two mentioned ethnic groups, none of the Russian Gypsies had such a custom. If in the Crimea the appearance of the ransom (that is, kalym) is easy to explain by religion (they are Muslims), then the Kelderari Christians experienced the ritual influence of the Ottoman Turks, without changing their religion. Their original nomadic area was on the territory of the Ottoman Empire.

The wedding expenses were most often borne by the groom's relatives; sometimes, by agreement, they were divided in half with the bride's parents. The dowry of the gypsies during the matchmaking of the girl was not mentioned at all, however, it was necessarily given - these were featherbeds, pillows, clothes and gold jewelry.

At the wedding, guests presented young people with gifts in the form of valuable things or money. “Mandar khans Qatar o Del may but” - “Not much from me, more from God,” the gypsies said, presenting gifts to the young. Sometimes the collected gifts paid for the wedding expenses.

The matchmaking took place according to a strictly regulated ritual. The parents and relatives of the young man came to the bride's tent; two of them were called matchmakers. It was they who negotiated with the bride's parents. The bride might not have known about the arrival of the matchmakers, but even if she found out about it in advance, she was still never present until she was called.

During matchmaking, different groups of Roma used different attributes. So, the kelderars always carried a plane into the bride's tent - a bottle of wine decorated with ribbons and gold coins. If the bride's father put her on the table, then they were ready to accept matchmakers here. Among the Russian gypsies, this role was played by a dravtse - a branch of a tree, preferably a birch, decorated with a scarf, ribbons and banknotes. The richer the drevtse was, the more favorable the parents were to the guests. In the Crimea, the bride's parents had to bring at least two sheep, decorated with colored ribbons and gold. In addition, after an agreement on the ransom for the bride and the conditions of the wedding, a cake baked in advance by the groom's relatives, covered with a scarf, is placed on the table. The handkerchief must be pulled off, and then each of those present breaks off a piece of the pie. According to legend, the one who was the first to do this happily marries his children. This cake is called a wedding cake. It is considered a good sign if everyone who breaks off a piece of this cake brings it to their children. After this ceremony, the bride price is paid.

One thing was common - the groom's relatives tried to turn the matchmaking into a magnificent celebration, while certain goals were pursued: to show their wealth and to make the bride's parents uncomfortable to refuse the matchmakers. The girl's father never immediately gave consent to the marriage, replied that “we need to think about it,” “the bride is still young,” but, as a rule, such an answer already meant consent. If the parents finally agreed, then they called the bride and asked about her desire, knowing in advance that the daughter would not go against the will of the father. At the same time, among the Kelderars, the future father-in-law would hang a gold coin around the girl's neck as a sign that no one else should woo her. In the case when children were wooed while still breastfeeding, the boy's father also gave a gold coin to the girl so that she would wear it when she grew up. Sometimes the matchmaking dragged on for a long time - for two or three days, or even for a week. Everything depended on the wealth of the bride's parents - after all, until the father gave his consent to the wedding of his daughter, he bore all the costs. From the moment when the groom was told: “Yes,” he himself had to pay for the guests' refreshments during negotiations on the conditions of the wedding. Interestingly, matchmaking is still a necessary wedding ceremony.

On the appointed day of the wedding, several gypsy families were invited and gathered at the chosen place. Already in the middle of the 19th century, parents blessed their children with icons. But the wedding ceremony in the church appeared in the wedding ceremony relatively late - at the beginning of the twentieth century.

At the wedding table, the young people sat side by side, while the guests - men and women - were seated at different tables. For the Kelderars, food was laid out on special copper tables with low legs. They sat on carpets spread right on the ground. During the wedding feast, the parents pronounced parting words to the young. The central place in the actual wedding rituals of the Gypsies was occupied by the marriage of young people. Towards the end of the first day of the wedding, matchmakers or older men and women brought bread and salt to the young and said the following: “Te na vurtsyn tume yek avrehke sar chi vurtsinpe o lon tai o munro. Sar naschtin le manush te skepin katar o munro, kadya chi naschtin tumme te skepin ekh avrestar. " This literally means: “So that you do not become disgusting to each other, just as salt and bread do not become disgusting to one another. How people cannot tear themselves away from bread, so that you cannot tear themselves away from each other. " Young people broke off a piece of bread and ate it with salt. The custom of greeting the young with bread and salt existed among many agricultural peoples. Gypsies rarely engaged in agriculture, but by the end of the 19th century this rite was already so widespread among the Gypsies that the question: "How do the young live?", - they usually answered: "Like bread and salt."

Then the young people were escorted to the tent, from which everyone left (sometimes old women could remain). This took place in the midst of the wedding feast. The culmination of the wedding was the taking out of the young man's shirt on a tray adorned with red flowers. The guests drank to the bride's parents and thanked them for raising their daughter, which they were very proud of. All guests were handed paper flowers or red ribbons, which were pinned to clothes and hair; red is a symbol of the wedding.

If the bride was blameless, the guests presented the young people with gifts, which have already been mentioned. If not (which was extremely rare), her parents reimbursed all wedding expenses.

Immediately after taking out the shirt, a scarf was put on the bride's head, and an apron was put on the skirt. From that moment on, she was not supposed to appear in front of men with a bare head. The Kelderarok's hairstyle also changed. If a girl just wore braids or loose hair, then a married woman braided little braids at the very forehead, twisting her hair up and braiding it to the braids. This hairstyle was called amboldinari. The scarf was also tied in a special way (such as ambledinari) - the ends were twisted with a tourniquet and tied at the back. Changes in hairstyle, scarf, apron - all this symbolized the girl's transition to a new social group.

Usually the wedding lasted two or three days; the rich gypsies walked for a whole week. After the wedding, the wife always went to live in her husband's tent. Very rarely, when the husband had few relatives, or he was poor, the husband went to live in his wife's tent. This was not welcomed by the gypsies.

Until now, the gypsy's wedding feast is considered the most important moment; only after him did the Roma community recognize the marriage. Nowadays, it often happens that Roma register marriage with the registry office only when necessary. If registration does take place, then, as a rule, it is not woven into the canvas of a traditional wedding. This can be a month before the wedding or a week after it. Registering a marriage before marriage does not mean that the bride and groom have actually become husband and wife.

Roma marriages have been strong in the past. Cheating on the part of the wife was considered unacceptable; divorce was very rare. Nowadays, divorces are more common. In this regard, the Polish Roma ethnic group of Gypsies has the next characteristic moment of the wedding. As before, during matchmaking, they do not talk about the dowry - although they must be given it. But on the second day of the wedding, when gifts are presented to the young, the bride's parents give posago. This is the same dowry, but now it is no longer a bed or clothes, but keys to the house where the young people will live (if the bride's parents are able to provide it), car keys or gold jewelry. This is done publicly so that everyone present at the wedding can see it, and in the event of a divorce, a woman can return her belongings - after all, if the marriage is not legalized, she is often infringed upon in her own interests during a divorce.

In addition, with the transition of the Roma to a sedentary lifestyle, pre-wedding and post-wedding customs and rituals, elements of which are largely borrowed from the surrounding population, significantly expand. For example, among the serfs of the Volga region, the so-called bachelorette party is widespread, which is arranged by the bride's parents (while the wedding is organized by the groom's parents) the day before the wedding. On this day, mainly young people gather, the holiday itself symbolizes the bride's farewell to her friends. Also of interest is the custom of “redemption” of the bride by the groom's relatives. Young people from the groom's side come to the bride's house on the wedding day, but the bride's brothers do not want to give her away without a ransom. Long "negotiations" are underway, champagne and sweets are brought as a gift, and then a playful "storm" of the gate is arranged, and the groom takes the bride out of the house.

On the third day of the wedding, when the bride moves to the groom's place, the dowry is ransomed. This custom contains elements of traditional culture (the dowry is carried on a cart pulled by horses); the action is comic in nature, accompanied by songs and dances, while the dowry is not displayed and its composition is not important.

Although many features of wedding rituals are borrowed by the gypsies from the surrounding population, this happens selectively. So the Russian custom did not take root in the gypsies, when guests shout: "Bitter!", Demanding a kiss from the bride and groom. Such open displays of feelings are considered indecent.

In general, for Roma, a wedding is almost the most important event in the life of a family, and, therefore, they did not spare money for it. “When the gypsy walked,” recalls one of the informants, “that's all. And their weddings thundered in all villages. We drove from village to village, drinking wine to everyone we met. With musicians. They dressed what was best, but if not, they borrowed from the neighbors. Some families went broke at the wedding. "

After the wedding, the young people necessarily lived with their husband's parents for some time. The time of living together depended on the material well-being of the family, but mainly on the wishes of the parents. To separate a young family, you need to buy a horse, cart, tent. When all this became possible, the father separated his son (this section was called the Debeshka among the Kelderars). If there was a second son in the family, and he got married, the first was separated sooner. Sometimes for two or three generations they lived in one tent and kept a common household, that is, they were complex families. It should be noted that one of the sons, usually the youngest, had to live with his parents. It was a kind of pension provision - a wise custom that supported a person in old age.

Childbearing customs

The birth of a child was rejoiced in a gypsy family, no matter how poor and large it was. Only after the birth of the first child, especially if it was a boy, did the young woman become a full member of her husband's family.

As for the behavior of a pregnant woman, there were customs, or rather superstitions - about the same type as that of all the peoples of Europe. They were magical in nature.

In the past, women tried to hide their pregnancy until a certain period of time, fearing that evil forces would harm their health.

For example, a pregnant woman was forbidden to look at a fire - otherwise, birthmarks may appear on the child's face. You cannot step over a stretched rope, over a fence - otherwise the umbilical cord can strangle the child. Do not kick the dog away - otherwise the child may grow stubble on the body. The gypsies also had quite rational, sound customs dictated by the concern for the health of the mother and the newborn. For example, it was considered impossible to deny a pregnant woman the food she wanted.

A number of customs were associated with the ideas of the gypsies about "clean" and "unclean".

A pregnant woman was considered "unclean" even among the English gypsies, who had undergone strong assimilation and lost their language. She had to avoid men (not only strangers, but also close relatives). I tried not to catch their eye. Among the Gypsies of Slovenia, for example, a woman expecting a child was not supposed to appear in front of her father without warning. It was forbidden to ask when a child will be born, and what they want to call him - this was also considered a violation of decency.

Under no circumstances would a pregnant gypsy go up to the men who were talking. Especially strict was the law forbidding her to cross the road of a gypsy man, as well as a harnessed horse.

However, pregnancy did not relieve the woman of the obligation to earn money. She still went to fortune-telling, and when she returned, she took up her daily duties in the tent.

There are no special superstitions and magical rites associated with the moment of the birth of a child. There were no midwives either. The woman gave birth in a tent, all the inhabitants of which went outside. Some relative who happened to be nearby could help with childbirth. Immediately after the birth of the children, they were sure to bathe.

In order to inform the tribesmen about the sex of the newborn, there was the following custom: the next morning after giving birth, one of the close relatives of the woman in labor went with a bucket of clean water taken from a well. The bucket should have contained an icon. A gypsy woman walked on tents and sprinkled water on people and household utensils. When she entered the tent, she greeted the hosts in the form of a toast, for example: “Te aven saste tai bakhtale” (literally: “So that you are healthy and happy”). The owners asked who was born, and those who wished threw silver and gold coins into the bucket, which were then given to the parents of the newborn as a gift.

For the first six weeks, the mother and child were especially carefully guarded from evil spirits. The child was tied with a red ribbon so that he would not be jinxed. The old women hung a small bag on the children’s neck, in which lay various herbs, the bark of a tree struck by lightning, incense, a piece of the body of a bat. It was a talisman.

The woman was isolated from the members of the camp, and, if possible, from her family members. The woman in labor did not even have to touch the common dishes. She ate separately, and the utensils that she used at that time were then thrown away. Nobody, except the mother, took the newborn in his arms. These limits were respected for six weeks. It is clear that such customs allowed observing basic hygiene standards and minimizing the likelihood of infection.

There were a number of magical customs specifically aimed at preserving the life of a child. Many people imagine a gypsy with an earring in his ear - and this was not just a piece of jewelry. The earring was inserted into the ear as a talisman. If earlier children died in the family, then the newborn was given magical protection. This custom existed not only among the gypsies. Some Cossacks also wore an earring in the ear: it was a sign that this warrior is the only son in the family, an heir. The comrades took care of such a Cossack and avoided sending them on especially dangerous missions.

In a gypsy family that had lost several children, it was forbidden to eat chicken eggs.

An interesting custom is the ransom of a dying or sick child by a stranger in order to heal him. A gypsy (not a relative) previously chosen by the parents would enter the tent where the child was ill and said:

Lem les ande drom, kindem les pe dui kopeychi te trail manga, sar muro shchav te avel zuralo. Literally translated, this means: "I took it out of the way, bought it for two kopecks, so that he could live for me and be healthy like my son."

The guest gave the parents of the sick child money or some thing for the child, for example, a belt or a shirt. The value of the ransom did not matter, it could have been 2 kopecks or 100 rubles. At the same time, the child remained to live with his parents, that is, the custom was symbolic. Interestingly, remnants of ancient beliefs are preserved in our time. The gypsy woman Agrafena Vasilievna Kutenkova, who lives in Samara, says that her newborn children died until one of the children was “ransomed” according to custom. After that, she raised three healthy sons.

One of the most important ceremonies associated with the birth of a child was christening, which were already arranged at the beginning of the twentieth century. As a rule, the baptism of a child took place immediately after six weeks from the date of birth. The Gypsies did not attach much importance to religious subtleties. In Western Ukraine, it even happened like this: one newborn was carried to the Orthodox Church, and the other to the church (depending on which church was closer at the moment). From this, however, it does not at all follow that if the mosque was near, the baby would become a Muslim - the gypsies who believe in Christ firmly adhered to the rituals of the Christian church.

Until the newborn was baptized, no one except the mother took him in his arms. Those who baptize a child become his godparents - godfathers in relation to the child's parents and among themselves. As a rule, there were two godfathers: kirvi - godfather and kirvo - godfather. They were chosen by their parents. They tried to call the most respected gypsies as godfathers, and the refusal of an invitation to be a godmother was condemned. On big holidays - Christmas and Easter - the parents of the newborn had to give gifts to the godfathers - wine, a silk scarf and some kind of bread (Easter cake). Gypsies value the relationship of nepotism throughout their lives. Parents of a child with great respect treat the godparents of their children and quarreling about godfathers is considered a grave sin.

The birth of a boy was more rejoicing than the birth of a girl, and christenings in this case were arranged richer.

The indestructible relationship of nepotism did not develop immediately. Even at the end of the 18th century, children were baptized for mercantile rather than religious reasons.

The values ​​of the Roma community are deeply rooted, so the wedding celebration has a special flavor. The first wedding night among the gypsies, unlike many nations, takes place during the wedding festivities and requires special confirmation. Are you surprised? We invite you to learn about the most non-trivial wedding customs and features of the gypsy first wedding night.

How is the first wedding night of the gypsies: wedding customs

In order to better imagine the colorful wedding celebration of the gypsy clan and original rituals, Svadbagolik.ru will acquaint you with several harsh laws that are still being executed:

• According to tradition, marriage between Roma takes place at a young age. And if for European youth a wedding at the age of 19 is a rather rare occurrence, because, supposedly, early, then a bride from the Gypsy clan at that age is already considered an old and useless virgin. Therefore, Roma marriages are concluded between the ages of 15-18.
• Matchmaking may well occur when the children of two families are in infancy. If the bride, for example, was married at the age of ten, she can live with the groom's family until the age of fifteen, after which the wedding will take place.
• The word of the elders in a gypsy family is law. Therefore, the choice of a candidate for a bridegroom or a bride is made by the parents, mainly by the father. The consent of the bride during the matchmaking is considered formal, since she does not dare to go against the will of her family.
• A gypsy wedding does not provide for a trip to the registry office, because there is no divorce in families. Orthodox Gypsies unconditionally get married in the church. The wedding celebration usually lasts three days and has about 300 guests. Absolutely all expenses are borne by the groom's family, therefore, when a boy is born in the family, it is necessary to immediately start collecting money for the wedding. Interestingly, traditionally, a wedding in India is paid for by the bride's side.
• Men and women always sit at separate tables, especially the bride and groom, this is the gypsy law. According to tradition, on the second day of the wedding, the newlyweds are side by side at the same table.

Rituals of gypsies after the first wedding night

"Carrying out honor"

The key ceremony at a gypsy wedding is considered to be the custom of information or “taking out the honor,” following the first wedding night. The newlyweds will be forever sealed by marriage bonds, but before this event, the bride needs to prove her innocence. A prerequisite for marriage is young virginity. How is it checked? There are three versions of the assumption:

1. Young people retire in a special room, where mixing takes place (the first wedding night), after which a sheet with characteristic traces confirming the girl's innocence is brought out for public display.
2. The bride leaves with three venerable women, who rob her of her innocence using a sheet wrapped around her finger. The groom does not participate in this ritual.
3. The first wedding night, according to some opinion, takes place right at the banquet table in front of guests. In fairness, we are in a hurry to calm down - this version is considered the most ridiculous and implausible.

During the absence of the newlyweds, some Gypsy families arrange theatrical performances - they beat off the stolen bride from the groom. It looks very natural, so there is an opinion that a gypsy wedding without a fight is not a wedding. However, drunken showdowns are completely unacceptable. Although festive tables are bursting with a variety of dishes and alcohol, getting drunk at a gypsy wedding ceremony is tantamount to shame.

After the young people are brought together, a bloody sheet (according to another version - a shirt), strewn with red ribbons and flowers, is brought out to the guests on a tray. Women participating in the ritual of taking out the honor congratulate and thank the bride's relatives for their decency, and red ribbons are awarded to each member of the groom's family. The bride herself, after the first wedding night and the gypsy custom with a take-out, changes into a red dress and from that moment becomes a woman. There are those who braid their hair. Now she is obliged to walk only with her head covered. An Azerbaijani wedding has a bit of similarity with providing evidence of the bride's chastity.

Interesting: If there is no proof of innocence, the marriage is immediately terminated, and the girl remains unmarried forever, which is a heavy burden for gypsies. In addition, the family of the spoiled bride will face lifelong disgrace and it is better for them to immediately leave their hometown. There are times that a girl still manages to get married, but it is worth the titanic efforts of the family.