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There are parables and legends about female wisdom. Wisdom is a gift from above, a special strength of a woman. This is not an innate quality, it will appear only when a woman changes her own outlook on life. A wise woman achieves, creates harmonious relationships and is able to carry family values ​​through the years. A wise woman is listened to. They ask her for advice. How do you become a wise woman?

Wise woman: what is she like?

Wise are those people who do not know much, but what is necessary. (E. Safarli)

Being a wise woman is a whole science. However, there are not many secrets. A wise woman has rules for communicating with others and which she does not violate. What are they?

A wise woman is confident that people should be treated with condescension. This concept includes not only the ability to understand. Condescension is the ability to find positive intentions in people's behavior. A wise woman is able to interpret the shortcomings of others or their mistakes in a positive way for them. Faith in the people of a wise woman is unshakable. By believing in good intentions, a wise woman helps people truly become kind. She forgets offenses, is happy to accept the apology, and herself.
A wise woman is sure that selfishness will lead nowhere. ... Only a spiritually mature person is able to pacify his own ego and take into account the interests of other people. A woman, possessing wisdom, by her example shows what a mature relationship is and helps others to get rid of selfishness.

A wise woman is sure that she will spread about problems in her family and personal life - a taboo. Such a woman does not "wash dirty linen in public." She will not call her friends at the slightest and tell in detail what is wrong with the family.
A wise woman creates an atmosphere in the house that will not become an obstacle to development, since each family member will know that they will be supported, understood and heard. This atmosphere is created through the emotional mood of the woman herself. By creating a supportive environment, a woman helps to develop positive qualities and move forward.
A wise woman knows what it is. Whether there will be mutual tact in a relationship depends on the woman. It determines whether tactlessness is considered the norm. If inappropriate jokes, mutual backing, angry teasing are acceptable for a woman, then a man will consider it normal. You need to reckon with others in the little things. Tactfulness - the ability to choose words so as not to hurt pride, not offend, not anger, but help.
A wise woman is sure that politeness is an obligatory point of communication. She will not be rude in lines, arrange scenes in public places and blame a bystander for all mortal sins.

It is important to create positive relationships with people along the way, but no woman will be happy if she does not achieve harmony in her personal life.

How to become wise in a relationship with a man?

Knowing the secrets of female wisdom, even an inexperienced girl can build a happy relationship.

A wise woman does not go unnoticed by the strong half of humanity. She feels what men need to feel happy. Many people think that wisdom is the prerogative of old age. However, it is not. You can become wise regardless of age, and here's how to do it:

Treat the man the way you would like him to treat you. personality regardless of his social status or level of security.
Men need a feeling of reciprocity, just like women. It is important for him to feel wanted, needed, cared for and loved.
A wise woman remains herself. We all want to appear better than we really are. However, the masks sooner or later fall off and people are disappointed. So that there is no hasty break, when "all the cards are on the table," do not hide your character traits and choose a man who will accept you with all the positive and negative qualities.
A wise woman knows that a person becomes successful in life aspects when respect for each other as a person reigns in the family. In a happy couple, a man and a woman work together. For a woman, it does not matter whether the chosen one has the beauty of Apollo, whether he is wealthy and whether he knows how to be romantic. For her, the willingness of her life partner to cooperate is important.
Do not provoke quarrels and conflict situations. A wise woman does not fall into hysterics, does not reproach a man and does not give him unequivocal ultimatums. The negative aspects of the relationship are smoothed out by female softness and tenderness.

How many of us hate to hear praise? Men, like women, flourish with flattery and words of praise. Praise your husband directly on the forehead, no need to disguise or invent lyrical phrases. An enthusiastic look and ordinary words like “Great! Wonderful! Great!" will be enough. A wise woman singles out in her husband those qualities that she would like to see in him more often.
Every person needs to be needed and loved. Even in moments of explosive quarrel, do not forget why you love your man.
There is a saying: "when it is very good, it is also not good." Creating harmony in a relationship and pleasing your spouse are not the same thing. A wise woman will not do everything herself to please her husband. She will ask him for help and sometimes “forget” about an unwashed shirt or a three-course meal.

In a relationship, a lot depends on the woman. She is the keeper of the hearth and whether family life will be happy and relationships will be harmonious depends on her wisdom. Learn the wisdom of being a woman every day. Try to become better than you are today and help others in this.

Smart men do not part with wise women. It's easy to start a family with them and maintain a warm, happy relationship. A wise wife, through her own actions and statements, maintains coziness and a pleasant atmosphere in the house.

January 24, 2014

As you know, the beauty of a woman is in her wisdom. A wise wife knows how to follow her nature and give her husband affection, love and warmth. Next to her, it is calm and joyful at heart, so every man dreams of seeing such a woman as his life companion.

15 notes for those who want to become a wise wife

"A wise wife will arrange her house, and a stupid — destroy "

1. First and foremost a wise woman pays due attention to his religious education and observance of Shari'a, because she is aware of the purpose of life and does not allow circumstances, emotions or worldly desires to be higher than the pursuit of eternal happiness in ahirat. And it is this aspiration that gives her wisdom in her actions - after all, if a person is afraid of punishment and seeks the reward promised to the God-fearing, then he tries to behave properly and refrain from low or rash actions.

1. The qualities of a wise wife include patience, restraint, loyalty, obedience to the husband, the ability to understand and respect the husband and children, and a kind attitude towards parents. She knows her responsibilities to those close to her and makes sure that she does everything exactly as the Shari'a demands.

1. Wise woman does not expect from a husband beyond what he owes. On the contrary, she herself seeks to do more than she is obliged to, because she understands that such behavior is for her own good - thereby she earns more reward for eternal life. She understands the purpose of family relationships and sees her marriage as an opportunity to receive even more rewards - pleasing her husband, raising children, and she does this solely for the sake of Allah, and not so that loved ones appreciate her efforts and give her love and recognition in return.

1. Wise woman sees in the husband and children as independent individuals and recognizes their right to make decisions themselves, treating them with respect and understanding. She trusts her loved ones and does not seek to keep everything under control.

1. Wise woman does not seek to dissolve in her husband and does not expect him to do the same. She views family relations as cooperation based on Shari'a law, and takes this agreement with full responsibility.

1. Wise woman tries to maintain a good relationship with your life partner. This should be done from the very first days of marriage. You must always remember that there is a very fine line in the relationship between a man and a woman. As they say, "from love to hate ..." Therefore, from the very beginning it is important to be careful with the feelings of the spouse and act wisely. After all, some people, having married, begin to behave unceremoniously and do not notice how they hurt each other's feelings, and then wonder where quarrels and disagreements arise from. And the reason is that they were carried away by their feelings and did not pay enough attention to seemingly small issues, but these little things have an unpleasant tendency to accumulate, causing irritation, misunderstanding, and lead to the destruction of good relationships.
   Living together is like building a building. Every day, word by word, event by event, like brick by brick, you build this house. As you make it, in such a house you will live. A wise woman knows all this, so every day she invests herself in this “construction” with love and great dedication.

1. Wise behavior- this is art. Just as a master knows how to handle tools, so a wise woman knows how to use words and choose the right actions: somewhere she will keep silent, somewhere she will cheer up, support, somewhere she will cautiously warn, give a hint, somewhere she will be patient, somewhere she will say the necessary words, but somewhere she will pretend that she has not noticed anything ... This is art!
   Patience helps a wise woman to control her emotions, restrain herself from rash actions and be able to choose the right moments.
   A striking example of a wise woman is Umm Sulyaim. Her husband was an associate of the Prophet Mu NS Ammada Abu T ol NS a. They had a son, and it so happened that he died when her husband was not at home. The death of her son is a great grief for the mother, but she found the strength to withstand this test. When her husband returned home, she did not immediately rush to tell him this sad news, but acted wisely - fed, calmed, prepared, and only after that, choosing the right words, she told about the death of her son. She said, "Oh, Abu T ol NS a! If a person borrowed something, and it belonged to him exactly as much as was destined, and after that the owner took his back, then is there any need to worry and worry? " What Abu T ol NS and answered: "No." Then Umm Sulyaim said: "Your son has left this world." Just think of the patience you need to have to do this! And the Prophet Mu himself NS Ammad, having learned this story, praised Umm Sulyaym for her wise behavior and read to her and her husband the du'i'a so that Allah would give them blessed offspring. And this request was fulfilled.
   In order to maintain composure in any situation, to be restrained and patient, and at the same time to remain gentle and sensitive, you need inner strength. This power is achieved through the acquisition of religious knowledge, observance, sincerity, trust in the Creator, self-control and unpretentiousness. All this contributes to the spiritual development of a person - this is how the inner core is strengthened, which makes it possible to adequately pass any life trials.

1. A wise wife is flexible. She understands that life does not stand still and family relationships are also constantly developing and changing. This is fine. It is important to react to changes in time.

1. Concept "perfect wife" each man has his own, therefore a wise woman does not strive in this matter to correspond to public opinion or articles from glossy magazines, but tries to understand what her husband likes and to be “ideal” for him.

1. A wise wife loves and trusts her husband, recognizing his masculinity and leadership in the family. In our time, this topic is especially relevant. The trouble with many modern girls is that they have forgotten how to obey and obey their husbands. One can argue for a long time where this trend came from, but we see the result: now many girls are trying on the image of a daring and independent woman, thinking that this attracts men, and modest and obedient women are called “sheep” with disdain. In fact, a wise woman recognizes a man's right to leadership, including the right to make decisions, and does not demand that everything be just the way she wants. The wisdom of a woman is in the ability to obey a man.
   To test how obedient you are, answer the questions: When was the last time you looked at your husband from the bottom up, or dropped your eyes, or fell silent from the understanding that you did something wrong and he would be angry? Are you afraid of his anger? Or rush at him with the words: "How dare you treat me like that?" Do you enjoy making him happy? When the husband leads the family, then you just relax, obey and accept everything like that., as he suggests, or are you already mentally preparing an indignant speech? Answer yourself honestly to these questions.

1. The woman is adorned with softness. And, of course, a wise woman understands this and gives her husband warmth and affection. If a husband comes home tired and irritated, then a wise wife does not burden him from the doorway, but, on the contrary, relaxes, warming him with care and love. She knows that hugs and gentle touches are more eloquent than words.

1. A wise woman is always calm and self-controlled. A slight smile plays on her face, and her eyes radiate kindness.

1. A wise woman is well brought up, she monitors her manners, does not interrupt and always remains tactful and delicate.

1. A wise woman knows how to take care - she does it unobtrusively. She cares not only about making her loved ones live comfortably and comfortably, but also about their spiritual state. One of the manifestations of true care is to pray for your loved ones in their absence, asking the Almighty to forgive their sins, to give them even more knowledge, sincerity, observance and a high degree in Paradise.

1. A wise woman does not say that she has already reached heights and can now relax. She never stops learning new things and striving for excellence. Being a wise wife is a skill, and skill is honed as a result of hard work on yourself.

Dear Muslim women! We wish each of you wisdom, patience and the right decisions. Happiness to you and your loved ones!

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It is quite difficult to find a person who does not dream of a happy family life next to someone who will love, understand, respect, appreciate, endure, care, support, behave with dignity, educate children competently, treat parents well, and so on. But few people think that all these beautiful qualities are the branches of a tree, the roots of which are fear of God.

Nowadays, people often choose a life partner according to external data, according to status and position in society, hoping that other positive qualities will appear over time. They hope that in the future it will be possible to instill in their life partner a love of knowledge and adherence. Of course, this is not excluded, but our religion strongly recommends choosing a life partner precisely for fear of God.

Especially a woman should be careful when choosing a husband, because it is often beyond her power to fix an adult man. But even a man should not be hopeful: although it is easier for a husband to influence his wife, not every woman is easy to change.

When people get married, but they do not always think about the fact that they have to go a long way in life together, raise children, experience trials and difficulties, and they only think about whether it is pleasant to spend time with this person. Therefore, it is not surprising that their hopes for a happy family life are often not met.

How can you avoid disappointment? The answer to this question has long been known - choose the God-fearing one. He is the most reliable companion in life. The love of such a person will make you happy, but even if there are no such vivid feelings, he will always be fair to you. You don't expect a trick from such a thing, he will lend his shoulder in difficult times, will be kind and patient, direct you in the right direction and will do the right thing himself - as the Sharia orders. The God-fearing loves for the sake of Allah, and not for the sake of his nafs, like most people: while the feelings are seething, they are ready to endure and give in, and when the feelings pass, the relationship between the spouses deteriorates.

However, a truly happy married couple is one in which both spouses are God-fearing. So not only look for a godly life partner, but strive to be that way. After all, the ideal married couple are those who lead each other along the path to Paradise.

The fruits of the union of God-fearing spouses are wonderful - it is not only good relationships, but also godly offspring. There have been many examples in history when two God-fearing people raised such children who illuminated the whole world with their knowledge.

Parents of the great Imam Abu Hanifa

Once a traveler was walking along the road. He was very hungry. And suddenly he saw an apple floating on the river. He took out this apple and ate it, but then he thought: "What if it was from someone's garden?" Then he decided to go upstream and see if there was a garden. After walking a little, he saw an apple tree that grew in a strange garden.

The young man was very God-fearing. He was upset that he had eaten someone else's apple, and decided to ask the owner for forgiveness. He went to him, told him about the apple and asked the owner of the garden: "Will you forgive me?" He replied: "No", and the young man was even more upset. He imagined the punishment in hell for eating what was not allowed, and decided not to leave until he was forgiven. When the owner left the house, the young man asked again: "Will you forgive me?" The owner of the garden, seeing his fear of God, said: “I will forgive you only if you marry my daughter. But you should know that she does not see, does not speak and does not walk. " Hearing this, the traveler was frightened, but the fear of an answer on the Day of Judgment was stronger than the fear of trials in this life, and he agreed.

They entered the house. The owner took him to his daughter's room. A very beautiful girl came out to meet them and greeted her father and the guest. It was the owner's daughter.

From surprise and surprise, the traveler almost lost the gift of speech. "But you said that your daughter does not see, does not speak, and does not walk!" He exclaimed. “That's right,” the father replied, “My daughter does not see what is forbidden, does not say what is forbidden, and does not go where it is forbidden!" (that is, she was also very God-fearing). Allah granted that in this way a God-fearing father would find a God-fearing husband for his God-fearing daughter. This is how the parents of the great Imam Abu Hanifa, one of the most famous theologians in the world, met.

Parents of the pious' Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak

‘Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak is a great scholar and Sufi. He was sincere and courageous. Here is the story of his parents' acquaintance.

His mother's father had a garden. Once he asked the man who was guarding his garden: "Bring me a sweet pomegranate." The watchman went for a grenade and gave it to the owner. When the owner tasted the pomegranate, he said: “What did you bring me ?! He's sour! Bring sweet. " Then the watchman went again and brought him another grenade. The owner, having tasted the fruit, was indignant again: “Why did you bring me sour pomegranate again ?! You've been working for me for a whole year and you don't know which ones are sweet ?! " To which the watchman replied: “You hired me to guard the garden, and not so that I could taste its fruits. How can I know which one is sweet and which one is sour ?! " The owner of the garden was greatly surprised by the honesty and decency of the watchman and invited him to marry his daughter.

Parents of the fifth caliph Umar ibn ‘Abdul-’ Aziz

‘Umar ibn‘ Abdul ‘Aziz is the fifth righteous caliph and grandson of the second righteous caliph‘ Umar ibn al-Khattab. He was a just ruler, possessed the deepest knowledge and was very ascetic. Perhaps all of his achievements were facilitated by his upbringing, since he had pious parents. Here is the story of how they met.

His grandfather, Caliph 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab, was a great companion of the Prophet and ruler of the Muslims. But, despite this, he went out into the city at night to find out how ordinary people live. And once, during the next round, he heard a conversation between two women. The milk seller told her daughter: "Dilute the milk with water," to which she replied: "But the Caliph forbade this to be done!" Mother told her: "But he does not see us now." Then the daughter replied: "If Umar does not see, then Lord Umar sees everything!"

Returning home, ‘Umar said to his sons:“ I know a house in which a god-fearing and decent girl lives - let one of you marry her. ” And ‘Asym ibn’ Umar married her. And when their son was born, they gave him the same name as his grandfather.

How to grow a PERSONALITY out of a child

From birth, a child develops and is imbued with the beliefs and attitudes that parents and the environment put into him. In childhood, his character, habits, worldview are formed - all this forms the foundation that lies at the basis of his personality. That is why it is so important in childhood to instill in the child the right beliefs and principles that will help him become successful and happy.

The first thing parents must take care of is to give the child true beliefs about the Creator and about the world that He created, about good and evil, about the commands and prohibitions of Allah, about Heaven and Hell, about reward and punishment. This is the most valuable and important knowledge, without which true happiness is impossible. In addition, parents are obliged to teach the child to perform Namaz, observe Fasting and other duties, because they do not want him to commit sins in the future. This is the basis without which success is impossible.

In addition, it is important to develop in a child those qualities and skills that will help him live this life in the best way and achieve a high degree of piety for eternal happiness in the Other World.

PURPOSE

It is important for a child to learn to set goals and achieve them.

Nowadays, children often do not understand the meaning of life, do not find their place in this world, many of them prefer to live in “virtual reality”. And as a result, their real life is wasted.

Explain to your child that life was not given in vain, and there is a responsibility for how he will live it. And also explain that life in this world is temporary, and after it there will be eternal life: in Heaven or in Hell. In Paradise there will be eternal happiness, and in hell there will be eternal suffering. Therefore, the main goal is to live life so as to get to Paradise!

How to achieve this, we were told by the Prophets - special people sent by God. The most important thing is faith in God, who created this whole world, and He Himself does not look like his own creatures. And whoever lives as God commanded will achieve success.

On the way to the main goal, it is important to learn to set small goals that will help in achieving it. For each goal, you need to define objectives and develop a plan to achieve it. Therefore, your task, as a parent, is to teach your child these skills. A person who possesses these skills lives meaningfully, and does not go with the flow of life. It is such a person who is a person.

Prepare your child that there are always obstacles to success, otherwise everyone would be successful. Difficulties await him, but let this not stop him - he must learn to overcome them and benefit from the experience that he receives. Develop in him those qualities that will help in achieving the goal: perseverance, hard work, willpower and responsibility.

A RESPONSIBILITY

One day a child said to his father: "Our new math teacher does not know how to explain, with him I will not learn anything." The father replied: “Understand, son, if you want to know mathematics, then this is your task, not your teacher. What have you done yourself to resolve this issue? " That is, the father did not allow his son to shift the responsibility to others. He wanted to show him that there are two types of people: those who take responsibility for their lives and succeed, and those who simply look to blame for their failures.

The ability to take responsibility opens up a wide perspective for a person. Without a willingness to take responsibility, it is impossible to achieve real success! How can one achieve success who hides from problems, avoids difficulties, is not able to make a decision and shifts everything onto others ?!

Often the parents themselves are to blame for the fact that their children grow up exactly like this: infantile, lazy and irresponsible. After all, they decide everything for the child, do not allow him to take the initiative, literally snatch work from the hands of the child, believing that he will not be able to cope on his own.

Help your child not to be afraid to take responsibility for their actions. Even if at first he does something not perfect, do not stop him. Train him to make commitments and fulfill them, and also be responsible for possible failures. Start small - let him take responsibility, for example, for keeping his room tidy by saying to himself: "I am responsible for the cleanliness in this room" and keeps his promise.

It is natural for parents to strive to help their children. But the real help is not in solving all the problems for them, but in teaching them how to solve their problems.

One man, passing through the park, noticed a cocoon on a bush, from which a butterfly was trying to get out. There was a narrow gap in the cocoon, and the butterfly made every effort to get out through it. The man stopped and began to observe the butterfly, which did not manage to get out. He felt sorry for the butterfly - he took out a knife and cut the cocoon to help her. The butterfly immediately crawled out, however, its body was weak and weak, and its wings could hardly move. The man continued to observe the butterfly, thinking that its wings would get stronger and it would fly, but this did not happen. After all, it is precisely the efforts of the butterfly that are needed to get out of the cocoon that strengthen its wings and give the ability to fly!

Do not seek to make life easier for your child by solving all the issues for him. The sooner he learns to take responsibility for himself and his actions, the better for him! After all, in the end, a great Report awaits everyone! What will be the position of someone who has avoided responsibility all his life ?!

If you teach your child to set goals, take responsibility, overcome obstacles, show diligence, work hard, work on himself and achieve results, he will become strong, will not be afraid of life's difficulties and will be able to achieve real success.

Clean, wash, iron, cook, wash the dishes, wipe the floor and again everything in a circle - and so every day. A familiar picture to most women, especially married women. And if there are still small children, then new worries are added to all these daily routines and everything multiplies many times over.

So day after day pass in the hustle and bustle. But this is a valuable time that has been given to us in order to worship God in the best way and earn a reward for eternal life in the Other World. Of course, if women are busy with housework all day long, doing it for the sake of Allah, in order to please their husband and loved ones, then they will be rewarded for this. But if you wish, you can organize everything in such a way that there is time left for other important matters: obtaining religious knowledge, performing additional rituals, as well as taking care of yourself, developing, spending time with loved ones, etc.

To effectively organize household chores, use techniques to save time, effort and money.

This is a very important point on the path to effective housekeeping. Often, the constant need to clean the house is caused precisely by a large number of things. Something is bought, something is donated, something is brought from a trip, something is kept from childhood - people “grow over” with things, not even suspecting how little they really need for life. It is not for nothing that asceticism is welcomed in Islam.

If you want positive changes in your life, make room for them.

By keeping the number of things to a minimum, it will become much easier for you to manage your household, because things require care, take up space, take away strength and peace of mind. As soon as you get rid of everything superfluous in your life, you will see that not only your dwelling, but also your thoughts comes in order, and you will feel that it has become easier for you to breathe both literally and figuratively.

Rules for getting rid of unnecessary things:

1. If you have not used a thing for a year, then you do not need it.
2. Imagine that you are about to move to a small apartment. Decide what goes to waste, what you can give to friends or family, and what you really need to do without.
3. Buy only what you really need, without succumbing to sales, promotions, advertising, fashion and momentary desires.
4. When buying a new thing, give the old one to others.
5. When buying things, focus on versatility. Build your wardrobe in the same way. Let it have a minimum of things for any occasion that are combined with each other.
6. Fix torn, broken or unfinished items immediately or dispose of them permanently.
7. Do not store any trinkets, shells, old newspapers, chipped cups, etc.
8. Establish a strict rule in the house: every day before bed, devote 10 minutes to removing everything that is superfluous.
9. Divide all things into groups: "necessary", "rarely needed" and "unnecessary". Place things from the first group within reach so that they are always at hand and do not require lengthy searches. Set aside space for things you rarely use so they don't get in the way, but you can easily find them if needed. Give unnecessary things to those who will really benefit from them. If they are no longer useful, then throw them away without regret. Some things can be sold, handed over for recycling, that is, you can benefit from getting rid of them.

Tip 2. Divide all big tasks into small steps

Usually women set themselves global goals - to get the whole house in order in one day. But such general cleanings deprive you of strength and health and discourage cleaning for a long time. Therefore, it is recommended to establish the ideal order gradually, step by step, and then just maintain it.

“Keeping it clean” doesn't mean spending all your energy on cleaning up your home every day.

It is enough that things are in their places and that it is clean.

To organize cleaning, it is recommended to divide the dwelling into zones. For example, entrance hall and kitchen, living room and bedroom, bathroom and toilet. Next, a monthly schedule is drawn up for cleaning in these areas. During the week, only one zone is in full order - for this it is given 15 minutes a day. In fact, during this time you can do a lot, the main thing is to perform exactly the tasks that are planned. After all, often forces during cleaning go to distractions. For example, instead of dusting the closet and just laying out things, some women start trying on outfits or looking at everything, which, of course, delays cleaning. Therefore, it is recommended to set the timer for 15 minutes in order to remember the time and not to be distracted.

An approximate cleaning schedule in the "hallway-kitchen" area may include: wash the stove, refrigerator, remove all items from kitchen cabinets, wipe cabinets, carefully fold everything back, tidy up shoes, put things that should be stored in other rooms in place. This work is carried out 5 days a week. It turns out that a little more than an hour is spent on detailed cleaning of one zone per month. Then all that remains is to maintain order through daily "routines".

It may take you more time to clean the areas at first, but when everything is in order, 15 minutes will be enough.

After you have put everything in order, it remains to maintain cleanliness. But this should not be done all day long, but only for 5-10 minutes in the morning and in the evening. Routines are simple activities that we do every day when we wake up in the morning and evening before bed. Competent organization of "routines" will bring these procedures to automatism.

In the evening, before going to bed, it is recommended to do a light cleaning "on top" - to walk around the apartment, put things in their places, get rid of everything unnecessary, put things in order in the kitchen, wash the dishes and the sink, hang clean towels. And also the evening "routine" includes: make a plan for the next day (including the menu) and prepare clothes and a bag for tomorrow. Pay special attention in the evenings to "hot spots" - surfaces on which things usually accumulate: a bedside table in the hallway, a computer desk, etc.

In the morning, it is recommended that you make your bed as soon as you wake up, even on weekends. If you have completed the evening routines, then everything is already in place. Therefore, in the morning you can only dust off the surfaces, prepare breakfast and wash the dishes afterwards. When leaving your home, bring your trash bags with you.

If you think over all your actions in the mornings and evenings in advance and perform them regularly, then over time it will become a habit and it will be easy and simple to follow them.

Do classic house cleaning once a week. It boils down to performing several tasks of 10 minutes each (for example, vacuuming, cleaning the floor, wiping mirrors, changing bedding). You can do this not at one time, but assign each task to a specific day.

Islam encourages you to make the most of your time, and planning helps in this. Even five Namaz per day teach us to distribute cases throughout the day. By planning, a person gets a barrack of time, that is, he manages to do much more, and this will also help to significantly save time and effort.

First, determine what activities you do daily, weekly, monthly and how much time you spend on them. Then analyze the list and highlight the cases that can be eliminated, for which - to reduce the time, and which need to be kept. Estimate not only time costs, but also financial costs. Then make a plan for the day, week, month, year.

Experienced housewives recommend keeping an audit trail. The most convenient way to do this is to use an organizer folder or a file on your computer. Record in this journal: morning and evening routines, cleaning schedules by zone for the month, shopping and payment lists, menus, as well as important notes, contacts, your plans, etc. In the plan, include not only household chores, but also compulsory and additional worship, education, classes with children, communication with loved ones, time for self-care, and even for rest. Then it remains only to monitor the implementation of the plan. And not to forget important things will help you organizer, stickers, reminders on your phone, etc.

The golden rules of good housewives:

1. Each thing has its own place!
2. Close what you opened.
3. Take it - put it in place.
4. Clean up before the clean gets dirty.
5. When cleaning, do not reach more than you can disassemble within an hour.

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman is an important science. The fair sex is not only the keeper of the hearth. It depends on her wisdom how the relationship will develop in a couple. Men do not tolerate when they are trying to be controlled and manipulated. Feminine strength lies in love, patience and understanding.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortune teller Baba Nina:"There will always be plenty of money if you put it under the pillow ..." Read more >>

A wise woman does not fight for equality in the family and does not try to become the main one. She gives her partner attention and love and surrounds him with care. In every man there is a creator, but in order for him to fully manifest his abilities, he needs an inspirer.

What is female wisdom?

The wisdom of a woman is the ability to build harmonious relationships. A wise representative of the fair sex understands that it is impossible to get what you want from a man by demands, tears, reproaches, quarrels and scandals. Everyone dreams of being under the care of a strong partner. But to achieve this, you need to become a real woman. Learn to accept and respect a man for who he is. Attempts to change her husband will not be crowned with success. A smart woman knows that family well-being depends more on her and works on relationships.

Anyone can become a wise woman if they wish. In a relationship with a man, the fair sex often behaves inappropriately. They humiliate their partner and try to tame him in every possible way, imposing their will on him. It doesn't end well.

For a representative of the stronger sex to feel like a real man, he needs freedom. A wise wife does not try to control her partner, does not tell him what to do, and does not criticize his decisions. She respects his choice and listens to opinions and advice.

The main female secret is that she does not try to re-educate an adult man, but accepts him as a full-fledged person.

Psychology of a man in a relationship with a woman man's secrets

How to build a harmonious relationship with a man?

At the first stage of the development of relations, flirting plays an important role. The ability to please the opposite sex is a great quality. However, this is not enough for the harmonious development of the union. The fair sex should be able to properly build relationships in a couple.

10 rules of conduct for a wise woman in family relationships:

1. 1. It is necessary to treat the husband the way the spouse wants to be treated. You need to learn to love your partner, regardless of his social status and salary. First of all, it is recommended to be respectful of his personality.
2. 2. It is necessary to show love, tenderness and care in relation to a man. A life partner should feel desirable and valuable.
3. 3. Quarrels and conflict situations should be avoided. You should not reproach a man and give him ultimatums. In times of minor disagreement, try to smooth things over with gentleness and gentleness.
4. 4. In no case should you compare your chosen one with others. It is best to try not to notice the shortcomings and focus on the merits.
5. 5. It is strictly forbidden to criticize and humiliate a partner. The man needs to be made clear that he is the leader in the family.
6. 6. It is necessary to constantly try to conquer the man again. They hate boredom and routine. To maintain interest in herself, the wife must look after herself and constantly change.
7. 7. Displays of pride in relationships should be avoided. This quality can lead to many problems in the pair, such as mutual cooling and so on. It is recommended to get rid of adherence to principles, it has a detrimental effect on the development of the union.
8. 8. It is worth learning to see the manifestation of attention and care in the little things. A man's love is expressed not only in romance, gifts and surprises. It can be help with the housework or with children.
9. 9. It is necessary to learn to forgive and not accumulate resentment in the soul. It is important to understand that ideal people do not exist in nature, and everyone has the right to make mistakes.
10. 10. You need to maintain physical contact: hugs, kisses and sex speak a lot more words. You need to spend more time together: walking, watching movies, going to a cafe, chatting.

Harmonious family relationships are daily work and work on oneself.

It takes tremendous effort to become a wise wife. No matter how old the marriage is, if a woman shows true wisdom, she is able to establish any relationship.

And a little about secrets ...

The story of one of our readers Irina Volodina:

I was especially depressed by the eyes, surrounded by large wrinkles plus dark circles and swelling. How to remove wrinkles and bags under the eyes completely? How to deal with swelling and redness?But nothing makes a person look older or younger than his eyes.

The feeling of love is so individual and intimate that it seems as if our heart does not need anyone's advice at all on how to love a man correctly. You just need to love, as you can, as you feel. And yet I would like to focus on the subtleties that exist in the relationship between a man and a woman.

The feeling of love inspires, gives incredible emotions, a sea of ​​joy. But why does it sometimes happen differently, and happiness turns into tragedies, family troubles, exhausting quarrels that bring mental pain?

They say that advice is easy to give, it is difficult to follow them, especially if they relate to the field of relations between men and women. Otherwise, there would be incomparably more people who are happy and contented with life. However, even dozens of sensible and wise advice is unlikely to bring the desired results, if you do not pass them through yourself, do not get imbued with them, do not harmonize them with the inner "I".

If in unconscious thinking there is a low assessment of a man, you do not feel respect for him, then any attempts to become the right spouse for him will not lead to harmonious relationships and will not give a feeling of happiness.

Advice should be aimed at helping a woman, first of all, to understand herself, to identify the existing shortcomings and complexes, to fully understand the female essence and perception of men. However, we must not forget that the relationship, of course, depends on the internal state of each of the partners, the feeling of comfort or, conversely, discomfort.

The desire of a man to be near a woman and to do the maximum possible for her, for the family is due to how much he feels like a man, being close to his soul mate. This state of a man depends on how his partner positions herself. Only when she feels like a wise woman, she sees a man in her partner. But we are responsible for what is going on inside us, and we take care of our deep state, our mood only ourselves.

In this regard, one should first think about us, women, and then take apart the second half of humanity to the bones and delve into the topic of why and how they love and what psychologists mean by the phrase: how to love a man correctly.

12 main rules of a wise woman

1. Relationship with a man should not be transformed into continuous responsibilities, you can not deprive yourself of the elements of joy.

Having taken on a huge amount of work with overtime, and then all the household chores and everyday problems, a woman cannot feel happy in such a marathon. Regular fatigue, constant lack of sleep cause energy depletion. And in such a state, it is a priori impossible to have either a good mood or joy. As a result, negativity spills out on loved ones, in particular, on a man.

2. Be sure to listen to yourself and your desires.

Often, many women go out of their way to please, to help their household members, not paying attention to their own person at all. When it is joyful and satisfying, energizing, great! But such actions often produce a different result: caring for others is exhausting and tiring.

There is only one recipe in this case - to remember and take care of yourself. How can I do this? To begin with, take off some of the responsibilities, redistributing them among all family members. The second step is to learn to refuse, saying a resolute "no", and also to define the boundaries of personal space both in the real and in the inner world.

3. Do not be obsessive in love, do not burden your partner with it, but do not demand constant attention and care from a man.

A woman should be wise, having an inner world filled with calmness, balance, harmony. The settled fear of being unnecessary, of being lonely, rejection of life without the presence of a man will play a cruel joke with you. In addition to your will, you will complicate, worsen relationships, and therefore spoil your own being.

The formula for correct love for a man is based on partnership. You cannot get lost, lose yourself in a relationship, trying to become inseparable from your partner, encroaching on his personal space, and on his own too. Any woman needs, like air, to have her own interesting life. You should not sacrifice your favorite hobbies, refuse communication, distance yourself from friends, focusing exclusively on a man, as the most important object in life, forgetting about everything in the world and about yourself, in particular.

4. Learn to take care of your inner state and experience the pleasure of doing homework.

For example, if you are working on preparing food, then tune in so that this procedure brings you joy, and not a duty aimed at bungling something, and the family does not go hungry.

It is imperative that you learn to experience pleasant emotions from any work that you do. Be sure to carve out some time for yourself in the morning to sit down with a cup of morning coffee or tea, savoring which to set yourself up positively for the day ahead.

5. Don't hold a grudge. Correct communication is a whole science, by owning it, a person becomes successful.

Relationship with a man is no exception. Therefore, you need to learn this wisdom. Of course, it is very difficult to restrain your emotions when you are offended, insulted, upset.

You need to strive so that your inner world is always normal, you cannot accumulate and hide grievances, past pain in it. They need to be dealt with in time and released. It is also necessary to get rid of the snares of negative attitudes, they so often interfere with rejoicing and enjoying life. If you are able to free yourself from them, you will gain the ability to control yourself and your words.

When a woman is offended, she is in pain, she tries to get rid of these painful sensations, clinging to the living and delivering pain to the man. And he makes an irreparable mistake, since further mutual understanding becomes impossible.

Correct communication with a man will be your message about your feelings. You should say, "I'm terribly angry," "I'm furious," or "I feel hurt." After that, you should definitely explain the reason for this condition and offer a way out that is acceptable to you.

This approach preserves the manhood of your half, while accusations against him always have a negative impact on the man and lead to a more serious aggravation of relations and mutual grievances. You should defend your point of view, your interests, desires peacefully and correctly.

6. In a conversation with a man, be sure to control your facial expressions and intonation in your voice.

In addition to verbal communication, there is also a meaningful language of facial expressions and gestures. Sometimes he is so eloquent that he can communicate much more than phrases, and convey to a partner that real attitude towards him that is hidden deep inside you. Often, we cannot even imagine what is hidden inside us and that these deep feelings are far from always positive.

The bottom line is that you are deluded into thinking that you are building your relationship with a certain man. In fact, you build them based on the attitudes that are learned in the family where you grew up. They are absorbed from the mother, formed on the basis of how she treated her spouse, and in general towards men.

7. In dealing with a man, maximum openness is assumed without omissions and hints of feelings, desires, since men do not understand women's innuendo.

Often, complexes do not allow a woman to ask for something. She is convinced that a man is obliged to guess about her aspirations and desires. But confident and wise women do not speak in roundabout ways, but directly state their desires, and they do the right thing, because even the Gospel says: "Ask, and it will be given to you ..."

But the requests must be sincere. And you should always be ready to refuse, but at the same time do not allow yourself to gnaw doubts about the possibility of not fulfilling your request. And have patience, you need to educate him in yourself, because you cannot count on agility from a man in fulfilling your desire. Each individual digests information differently. One will need a couple of days to comprehend and implement your request, the other will have to wait for the result for several months.

Therefore, they expressed their request - and immediately forgot. But if this is extremely important for you, then you can draw up your desire on a sheet of paper and attach it in a conspicuous place. This will be a kind of reminder.

Women who are confident in themselves practically do not allow the possibility of refusal, but nevertheless, if they are faced with such a circumstance, then they are not too upset about this. In any case, they do not regard this case in such a way that they are not loved. Sincere requests addressed to a man make him feel needed, and, therefore, give confidence and strengthen the man's condition.

8. The ability to be grateful, the ability to sincerely express gratitude and enjoy the correct actions of a man, and not focus on shortcomings - this is another principle that explains how to love a man correctly.

Living together under one roof often leads to the fact that a man begins to be considered by his partner as her property, everything that he does is taken for granted. As a result, such important words as "thank you" or "thank you" drop out of the lexicon. But even if they are pronounced, they often become simply on duty, and should sound sincere, from the bottom of their hearts.

How simple we thank other people for any service, sometimes unfamiliar, and so we are stingy with words of gratitude for our man.

9. Do not paint negatively on the mother and girlfriends of your man, creating a negative image.

First of all, in this case you yourself do not appear in the best possible way, because it was your choice. The other side of the coin: you form a negative characterization of your partner, set your loved ones against him. Therefore, if a crack appears in your relationship with a man, you are unlikely to find the necessary support if you wish not to lose it. Most likely, you will be convinced of the opposite, claiming that he is not worth you, he is not your match. So there is no need to wash dirty linen in public.

10. Find out the language of love that your partner understands.

For example, your efforts to bring perfect order to the apartment will not be perceived by your spouse as you expected. It’s important for him that you cook his favorite meal for dinner, but you didn’t because you were cleaning and he feels unnecessary. Conversely, the other will not pay attention to the new tasty dish, but will notice that you did not wash his shirt.

It is impossible, and it is not necessary to be perfect in everything; it is quite enough to understand for yourself what your partner feels your care and love in especially acutely. This is the wisdom of a woman.

11. Respect is a must in a good relationship, so respect your man.

This feeling, in contrast to emotional closeness, is based on actual successes and achievements. They can be in any area and do not have to be reduced to the material aspect. Each person has some traits for which he can be respected. It can be kindness, neatness, practicality, and much more. But the main thing is that the woman should see them and appreciate them. From this it is clear that respect for a partner is expressed in not violating his personal space and fulfilling his desires.

It should be noted that men react very sensitively to pressure; in the event of an onslaught and pressure, their reaction is stubbornness. Therefore, a wise woman will never press, press on a partner. Why, if your desires can be formulated and expressed respectfully and correctly, leaving the choice to the man.

12. And the last of the 12 rules of a wise woman says: cast aside all doubts and believe in your beloved man, in his talent, in his abilities.

To believe means to discern in a person his potentialities. If you cannot find any talent or simply do not believe that a man is capable of realizing himself, then it is better not to associate your fate with him, he is simply not yours. And you didn’t see his talents just because your visual acuity is different.

And now I will summarize and answer the question why a woman is obliged to take care, first of all, of herself. The answer lies on the surface: yes, because a man is very sensitive to the mood and state of a woman, although in practice he tries not to show it.

Almost everything that a man does, he does for a woman, for his family. And his desire to see his soul mate in a joyful and happy state becomes quite understandable. If a woman is constantly depressed, tired and nervous, then this is transformed into information: "I am a bad husband", "She is unhappy with me." And it is unlikely that anyone will take pleasure in feeling incapable of making the woman he loves happy.

And how often women make an unforgivable mistake, demonstratively showing their dissatisfaction and naively believing that this will make a man think and change his behavior. As a result, they get a completely different effect: the spouse withdraws into himself.

Hence the conclusion follows that in search of a recipe for solving the problem - how to love a man correctly, a woman is simply obliged to pay attention not only to her appearance, but also to deal with her inner world. Only by living in harmony with yourself, you can create a harmonious relationship with a man.

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Between a man and a woman, fateful decisions are often made jointly, but the last word invariably remains with the representative of the strong half of humanity. The dominant qualities of the guys do not allow me to humbly observe how the girl dominates the pair. Due to the lack of mutual understanding caused by the desire to manage a partner, conflict situations often arise, leading to discord in the family. Maintaining harmony and achieving a constructive dialogue, earning respect and becoming a support for the chosen one can only be done with the help of female wisdom. Having chosen the right model of behavior, the spouse has the opportunity to direct the partner's aspirations and stream of thoughts in the right direction. only a few are capable, having cultivated patience and understanding.

In some situations, it is important to forget about pride and make concessions, showing loyalty and respect for the decisions of the chosen one. Under a certain set of events, bending over to the wishes of the husband is an inappropriate choice, implying a loss. Where is the fine line that allows you to achieve mutual understanding in a love relationship? What is female wisdom? What rules are recommended to adhere to in creating a family hearth?

Personal characteristics of wise women

Women's wisdom in a relationship with a man is a whole complex of personal characteristics that a girl has formed in the process of long-term education in the "school" of life. Only honors pupils and graduates of such an educational institution can boast of the ability to get out of various situations, while maintaining self-esteem. Long-term experience is a significant "assistant" in the process of building a model of a love union. Wisdom can also be cultivated artificially, cultivating the following qualities in the depths of the soul:

Consistency, supported by the right upbringing. Guys appreciate girls who know what they want out of life. If a woman's desires are dangling from side to side, then it will be extremely difficult to achieve mutual understanding with a partner.
Patience with understanding and empathy. Representatives of the stronger sex sometimes also need support, not criticism. In difficult times, it is important not to break into swearing, provoking a conflict, but to try to find, together with your spouse, the best way out of this situation.
Chastity, due to the stability of the choice made. It is important for men to know that a woman is not predisposed to adultery and flirting with outsiders "males", while remaining faithful to the chosen one.
Respect, manifested in the approval of the partner's aspirations. It is important for guys to fulfill their own needs with the support of a loved one. If the girl really appreciates the union, then she will make the willful decision of her husband.
The ability to forgive, allowing you to keep love in difficult situations. Men are prone to making mistakes, so it is inappropriate to count on the duration of the marriage without mercy. The only question is the number of "life buoys" that a woman is ready to provide to the guilty partner.

It is important to consider that wisdom has no age-related idols and limitations. Often there are elderly women who do not have a "rich" life experience. The fate of other girls is full of unpleasant situations from childhood, in the course of solving which the above-mentioned personal characteristics appear in the fairer sex by the age of 20.

Basic commandments of female wisdom

If you are decisively in tune with the chosen one, then adhere to the following postulates of female wisdom:

sexuality;
patience;
loyalty;
respect;
forgiveness;
submission (in moderation, denoting the strength of a man, but not losing his own opinion).

The manifestation of such personal qualities in a woman is highly valued among men who expect to create a reliable marriage union. Do not forget that guys are looking for a darling for a family and a partner for sexual pleasures, guided by various principles. There are no similarities in the image of a mistress and a wife, so a man will like it, having achieved intimacy - this is not an end in itself for a girl who counts on a long-term relationship.

Common mistakes women make in family relationships

The peculiarity of female wisdom that allows you to do is in the sequence of everyday behavior. It makes no sense to count on the stability of the family hearth if you do not adhere to a certain relationship model. The main task of a far-sighted darling is not to make common mistakes that negatively affect mutual understanding in a love union:

regularly engage in moralizing, openly instructing the husband on the true path;
criticize the behavior of a guy in a public place or in front of strangers;
becomes a "mother" for a man, forgetting about the value of passion in love relationships;
adhere to the tactics of "sacrifice", manipulating a partner with the help of their own weaknesses;
not be interested in the hobbies and work of her husband, "burying" in household affairs;
unquestioningly obey the will of the guy, losing self-esteem;
neglect the opinion of a man, openly declaring this to him;
praise other members of the stronger sex, comparing their successes with the achievements of their spouse.

Wisdom is a complex of gaining personal characteristics that must correspond to the behavioral characteristics of a partner. A girl does not need to understand various spheres of life in order to maintain harmony within a love relationship. It is important to take into account the preferences of the chosen one, guided by your own wishes. If you do not make the mistakes listed above, then a priori in the union you will be located in winning positions. A man listens only to the opinion of a woman who, by personal example, shows the ideal model of behavior in marriage.

Love is not only unbridled passion and romantic deeds, but also regular "work" on relationships in which troubles and misunderstandings constantly appear. The wisdom of a woman should be directed to a creative process designed to create mutual understanding and mutual respect in the union. If you learn to support and inspire a man, then he will certainly remove a star from the sky for you or conquer an insurmountable peak.

18 February 2014