Body positivity: how to make friends with your body? We study anatomy, or how to make friends with your body How to make friends with your body

18.08.2023

The body allows us to move, eat, love, work and generally feel somehow. Sometimes it seems that he needs only warmth, satiety and security. But in response to special attention, it will thank you with vivacity, stress resistance, bright self-expression and creative upsurge - everything you need for a successful career.

body denial

Today, expressions such as "knowledge worker" and "manual worker" are a thing of the past. There are fewer and fewer people who need only and exceptionally strong body for work - lumberjacks or diggers, their work is more often taken over by machines. Only loaders have to apply real simple muscular effort.
Apart from dancers and actors, for whom the body is the obvious working tool, the majority of workers today are office workers and the like. Their destiny in the physical sense is inactivity and monotony. And there is no thought that the body plays a role in successful professional and career advancement. Unless at the level of good self-care, since a young and fit look is part of the image of a successful person. But the body should not be limited to this, it is capable of more.
Of all the various and useful parts of the body of a clerk of any level, two are constantly working: the brain and what they sit on. Perhaps more hands, typing something on the keyboard and bringing the phone to his ear. Industrial gymnastics for Soviet employees has been swallowed up by history, so that the rest of the body is usually not occupied with anything.
“I quit exercising a long time ago. - says Albina, 38 years old. - As a child, parents forced me to move to music in order to wake up and recharge for the whole day, as they said. But when I entered the institute and slept little at night, it was unthinkable to waste time on exercises, then I would have to pull myself out of bed. And now everything is about the same - it's a pity to waste time on these stupid movements, so my exercise is driving through traffic jams.
Fitness classes also sometimes turn into an indifferent use of the body as a machine that should look great, but how it feels, we often forget to think about it. Unlike ancient people, for whom bodily efforts were comprehended as a necessary work for survival, we do not really own our body, as if our "I" finally settled in the head. And the arms, legs, back and stomach want to feel, work, get a load and bring real benefits, and not just show off in the window.

Emotions on lockdown

Among adults, it is not easy to find a person whose shoulders would not be tense. You should not blame everything on working at a computer - more often these are echoes of emotions locked since childhood.
“When I go to bed and try to relax,” says Nadezhda, 29, “it often seems to me that someone has attached about ten clothespins to my body. If you listen closely, you notice that these places are a little whiny and quite tense. In the mornings, it feels like I've been working all night."
Our relationship with the body is shaped to a large extent by mothers - by how they react to the baby, whether they take it in their arms, are attentive or cold. This experience captures in us one or another habitual posture with hidden zones of tension - a bent back, a head pressed into the shoulders, and immobility in the lower back.

body and shame

Sometimes a woman's life seems to be divided in half, into work and life itself, where there are parties, friends, dates, dances and where you can joyfully move. If we allow ourselves to bring a piece of this joy into the office, it is not always perceived correctly.
“In our company, it is customary to wear strict suits,” says Elena, 31, “and on Fridays, freestyle clothing is allowed, but also without extremes. One evening I was going to go to a party in the evening and therefore I came to the office in the morning in a red dress. It wasn’t even short, but on Monday the boss said that it was unacceptable to come to work in this form and I was distracting everyone from business. Now I live like this: in the morning
until the evening I am a robot, and in the evenings and weekends I am a woman.
Not allowing ourselves to attract the attention of men, fearing resentment and betrayal, following the instructions laid down in childhood to be modest, we clamp our own sexuality in a vise. And when life requires something else, we fall into a state where the body freezes like a computer. It's hard to know what you really want. Then it seems that it is easier not to understand, but simply turn off this computer and not have to deal with it anymore. Without understanding ourselves and our relationship with sex, modesty, passion, we can successfully suppress them.
However, this internal struggle will certainly be reflected in gait, movements, and even in facial expression.

The body as a tool

“If you don’t know what to say, get up and move around. Ideas will come and be convincing for your listeners, ”- approximately this instruction is given to all novice business coaches, as well as to those who are going to speak in public. The body is able to work independently even where, it would seem, rational arguments, meaningful discussion, decision-making are needed. When preparing for the presentation of your idea at a meeting, negotiations, exhibition, it is useful to rehearse the entire program of actions in a real physical space. How the booth, flip chart or video projection screen will be located, where the audience will sit, how you can move - these are things that subtly bring additional meaning to your presentation. Whether you are trampling in one place or moving at a walking pace even in a small space, whether hand gestures support your statements - such little things can set the speaker in a calm and confident way, and it is better to convey his thoughts to the audience.
There is also a downside to the idea of "the body as a tool." In an effort to look good, we intuitively guess what scientific research has proven today: beautiful people are more loved, more forgiven, better paid, less likely to be fired, and more willing to be hired. True, taking care of your body for a career-minded person can become debilitating - constant diets, a daily gym, face and hair masks. The body works, they pay attention to it - what, tell me, does it still need? And here is the paradox: while taking care of your body, spending money and time on it, you can still not feel it. Perceive not as a part of yourself, but as an object necessary for work, like an expensive tablet or an elegant moleskin, which should always look perfect, but simply cannot have its own desires.
Attitude to the body and appearance only as a tool for success can lead to the fact that self-care, all these small actions that women like so much, simply cease to bring joy. Alice, once in Wonderland, once grew up so much that she could not see her legs and missed them very much, like old friends. Make friends with your arms and legs, stomach and back, neck and chest - this is your real work team.

7 clip areas

Together with a specialist, you can find that in these zones in your body there are “squeezed” zones that you can carefully work out and release the feelings hidden there.

Eyes. The area around them can be pinched, which, by the way, provokes the appearance of facial wrinkles, when we squint tensely, as if trying to peer into something incomprehensible. Or, on the contrary, we narrow our eyes so as not to see what is happening (inside or outside of us), not to attach special importance to it.

Mouth. The clamp around the mouth occurs when we forbid ourselves to show any emotions, as well as verbally express them. The set of forbidden sensations includes sadness, disgust, aggression: with your mouth clamped, it is impossible to bare your teeth or shout out something offensive.

Neck and tongue. These clamps hold back the voice, screaming, sobbing. The man seems to be dragging a yoke around his neck, he no longer has the strength, but he can’t tell, cry to anyone.

Chest, shoulders and arms. Clamps in this area arise when someone - or we ourselves - forbade experiencing and showing melancholy, fun and passion. Somewhere in the chest, laughter or crying arose, hands wanted to reach out and hug, but they had to be lowered, and laughter with tears had to be restrained. Because of this, he lost his breath. The clamp in the chest sometimes begins to feel like a lump that you can’t immediately swallow and spit out. This block usually restricts breathing, its depth and frequency.

D iris and solar plexus. Anger is hiding here, only much stronger than in previous cases. Driven inward, it concentrates in the area of the solar plexus and makes the whole body tense.

Belly and back. In these vulnerable spots, tension comes from the fear of attack, physical or symbolic. Waiting for a stab in the back from a loved one, fear of serious changes in life (the Old Slavonic “belly” meant exactly “life”). There is also repressed anger and hostility.

Pelvic and leg area. They hide the pleasures that we deny ourselves (not only sexual), not daring to change our lives. Legs that should have gone in a different direction seem to be held in place, their muscles constantly tensing for no reason. This can even lead to seizures.

About yoga with a capital and a small letter

All yoga known to us can be divided into two categories: Yoga with a capital letter and yoga - with a small one.

Yoga with a capital letter has existed for centuries. According to legend, it originates from Adinath - Shiva. Yoga techniques are primarily aimed at working with consciousness, and knowledge about it is transmitted to students from the guru orally. Upon receiving initiation into the tradition, the disciple takes several vows. In different traditions and at different times, the vows may differ, but invariably there was a vow not to divulge the secrets of the practice to anyone, ever. Therefore, little is known about Yoga, it has never been something fashionable or popular. In addition, the techniques offered by the tradition are complex to the point of impracticability, so few people have the motivation to comprehend them.

Yoga with a small letter is just what is presented in the mass version and can be bought for money: sets of movements, asanas, simple breathing exercises and nutritional recommendations. Are they helpful? Yes. Do they work? They work. But these techniques do not affect consciousness directly and do not change its quality. Therefore, there is no need to harbor illusions that if you stand in bakasana for a few more seconds, then all your chakras will open and you will fly home in the lotus position.

Unfortunately, now there is often a substitution of concepts, when they try to pass off yoga with a small letter as yoga with a capital letter. But it is necessary to understand that all types of yoga based on the practice of asanas, in essence, are author's methods that have nothing to do with the ancient tradition. And the common phrase “classical yoga”, which representatives of some directions use without a twinge of conscience, is inapplicable to them.

Do you need to do yoga? If you want to make friends with your own body and learn to understand yourself better, then yoga is for you.

About yoga classes

Do you need to do yoga? If you want to make friends with your own body and learn to understand yourself better, then yoga is for you. Our whole life basically consists of typical situations in which we use ready-made behavioral patterns. But in order to develop, it is necessary to go beyond the usual. And yoga gives us such an opportunity. While practicing asanas, we take various positions of the body, many of which, especially at the initial stage, become a real test. In order not to break down and not suffer from pain, we inevitably have to listen to ourselves and look for the only right solution that allows us to return from an uncomfortable state to a comfort zone. Having mastered one position, we move on to another and solve a new problem. So gradually we learn to listen and be aware of our body and adjust the harmonious interaction of all its parts with each other. As a result, we become healthier and happier.

Having mastered one position, we move on to another and solve a new problem. So gradually we learn to listen and be aware of our body and adjust the harmonious interaction of all its parts with each other. As a result, we become healthier and happier.”

Dossier

Anatoly ZENCHENKO, author of the Ishvara Yoga methodology, founder of the Yoga School in Kiev, President of the International Yoga Association, Official representative of the International Yoga Federation "World Union of Yoga" in Ukraine, host of international seminars, master classes on the theory and practice of Hatha Yoga, which are held in many cities of Russia and Europe.

Achievements: fourth place at the Artistic Yoga World Championship (2001), silver medalist of the European Artistic Yoga Championship (2001), bronze medalist of the Intercontinental Olympic Yoga Championship (2001), Artistic Yoga World Champion (2002), bronze medalist of the World Cup in Olympic yoga (2002), world champion in artistic yoga (2003).

Text: Tatyana Bushmakina.
Photo: Igor Mazutsky.

The issues of body perception have become an object of creative research for the singer. She promotes adequate self-acceptance and believes that vitamins and training will not help if you do not learn to listen to your body.

Explain how to find the line between self-acceptance and the understanding that changes are still necessary?

For me, productivity is always important, and everything that interferes with being in balance and takes strength is beyond. One side of destructiveness is excessive aggression, because of which you are not satisfied with everything about yourself. The other is when, on the contrary, you allow yourself too much, because "you accept it as it is." You need to understand what prevents you from being harmonious, and correct it. But without regard to changing trends and other people's opinions.

How do you take care of your body? Learned to hear and understand it?

I will not say that I understand my body one hundred and fifty percent, because for me the dialogue with it is a dynamic state. You can say: “Yes, I know everything! I need to exercise and take these vitamins to feel good.” But all these healthy lifestyle attributes will not help much if you do not know how to speak honestly with the body. I have long come to the conclusion that the psychological state is more important for me than the physical one, also because stress and psychosomatic manifestations spoil my voice, and music is the most important thing for me. Self-care manifests itself in many ways: it includes surrounding yourself with the right people, and even the right smells. I also recently go to yoga: I try to feel my femininity through proper breathing and work with other institutions (laughs).

"Being in balance gives me the strength to create what I love"

You are 27 years old, but have you thought about how to accept yourself and your body in 20, 30 years?

I don't know how I'll feel when I get wrinkles or when the person I love leaves for a younger girl. For three years, I have been interviewing various women for my social project and talking with them about the problems of self-perception. During this time, I realized that final acceptance is basically impossible, and when you realize this, it becomes easier for you. By the way, the most interesting thoughts are shared by women after 40 years. For example, one of my recent interlocutors said: "I love my scar on my stomach, because it reminds me that I am a mother and gave birth to a beautiful son." I believe and hope that all my research activities now are not in vain and in 20-30 years I will feel even more harmonious.

You are referred to as the ideologists of body positivity, but you criticize some of its manifestations.

First, in a recent manifesto, I reflected on the topic of why body positivity is so inaccurately interpreted in Russia. It seems to me, including because body and positive are two non-Russian words. It is interesting to know if there is a definition in our culture that could more organically reflect this idea? I think there is. Secondly, I do not like any manifestations of aggression. People who hate body positivity and people who hate people who hate body positivity are terribly similar and use the same language. And it scares me. Interestingly, behind the scenes of the whole story with the #injurybeauty and #show us projects, I met a lot of negative reactions from friends and friends who wrote to me: “Oh no, this parade of strong and independent again?”. To many people, everything now seems like an aggressive body positivity campaign. At the same time, there is a main plus - the topic is being discussed and there are those who study it deeper.

Our health depends not only on external factors, but also on internal ones. It is known that often diseases come from the fact that we are not able to resist them. Therefore, if we want to be healthy, we need to be able to communicate with our body.

"Communicate with the body" - at first glance, it looks like an absurdity. However, psychologists take a different view.

Unfortunately, Western culture does not give priority to intuition, but to logical thinking. Therefore, we have forgotten how to listen to our body. We neglect his needs. Remember how often we do something contrary to the desires of our body: we continue to work when we feel, watch TV late when our eyes close, hold back tears when we want to cry ...

What do we get as a result?

Chronic fatigue, depression, weakness and many other negative manifestations. A person who does not know how to listen to his body will not be healthy, even if he constantly visits doctors.

You need to make friends with your body. Only this will help change the situation for the better.

What does it mean to make friends with your body?

Think of him as your best friend who needs your care and attention. After all, over the years it has taken care of you.

Try to hear the voice of your body. Mentally ask him two questions: "How do you feel?" and “What do you want now?”. You may not "hear" anything at first. However, you must continue this game, and one day your subconscious mind will respond to your questions. And then you will know that it is at this moment that your body needs a walk. At some point, you need to put off work and give rest to your eyes, and after some more time you will realize that the fluorescent lamp needs to be changed to a warmer light.

What gives "communication" with your body?

Psychologists are convinced that by listening to the voice of the body, you will become healthier and happier. You will understand that the sharpest mind will not help you navigate your own needs and needs in the way that intuition will help.

Perhaps, "communicating" with your faithful body, you will eventually give up bad habits, and this refusal will happen imperceptibly and painlessly.

How exactly should you communicate with your body?

Remember that your body needs a natural balance. Food, work, sleep, sex, rest - everything should be enough, but not in excess. Gradually you will learn to be in harmony with yourself.
Love your body. Perhaps you do not like some features of your face, height, chest or something else. Psychologists recommend accepting the part you reject so much, realizing its strength and finding beauty in it. By taking this step, you will get rid of self-hatred, and, therefore, of many problems in your life.
Do not bring "friendship" with your body to the point of absurdity. Listening to your body does not mean indulging all your desires. “I want to drink a couple of glasses of vodka” and “I want an immediate one, it doesn’t matter with whom” - these are the aspirations that can cause harm.
However, one should not sharply condemn their desires. Remember that sex, aggression and cravings for sweets have their value. Nature is wise, and most of our strivings are for the benefit of evolution.

Loving yourself - your body - can be extremely difficult for many people. If in childhood a person's connection with his physical shell with his internal organs and systems is very strong, then with the course of life such contact can be broken. A person is capable of arising a conflict with his own body due to external influences, for example, due to the attacks of others. Hostile relations with the body can also develop under the influence of self-grown complexes, attitudes.

The lack of friendly connection with the body, the unwillingness to accept oneself and support oneself leads to the exhaustion of internal forces, to a situation of constant - self-created - debilitating stress. When a person is at odds with his internal organs and with the body as a whole, this inevitably leads to the development of disorders and pathologies. In addition, it reduces the overall quality of life and negatively affects the psyche.

How can you make friends with your body? How to return the necessary connection in order to feel full of strength and a healthy person every day?

A few steps to establish friendship with the body

Make it a habit to say hello to your body every morning. When you wake up, do not immediately jump out of bed, listen to yourself, to your physical sensations, to the signals that the body gives. Mentally ask the body and internal organs how they feel today, how much time they had to recover and rest. Listen again: the body is sure to give answers. In addition, if you are attentive, sensitive and positive, the body will tell you how to improve well-being, if necessary.
Learn to compliment yourself. Try not to constantly focus on any chronic ailments or on moments in appearance that for one reason or another do not suit you. Try to stand in front of a mirror every day for at least a month in a row and say nice things to yourself out loud, compliment your body. You will quickly feel how your mood will rise, how a surge of strength will arise. Gradually, any unpleasant sensations in the organs and tissues will begin to melt under the influence of your positive attention.
Before going to bed, take a few minutes of time to thank your body for what you have, that you are alive, that systems and organs work. Walk all over the body, pay at least a little attention to each area, sincerely saying “thank you”.
To build a friendly connection with your body, try to walk barefoot more and more often. In the summer, it is worth at least once a week to run barefoot on the ground and grass in order to feel the surge of natural forces.
Don't forget to take care of yourself. At the same time, the process of leaving should not be forced, unwanted and too hasty. Enjoy taking a shower, let yourself experience genuine pleasure using caring cosmetics.
Try to realize and accept all your negative emotions and thoughts directed at the body. And then gently replace them with acceptance and love.
Learn to breathe properly and deeply. Master at least simple relaxation techniques that will help get rid of the accumulated tension in the muscles and organs. Regularly performing practices, in a week you will notice how the body has become lighter, how more strength and confidence have appeared.
Never rush when eating. Feel its taste, do not be distracted by anything, think only about the good at the time of eating.
Do not forget to regularly give your body at least a minimal load. A person cannot be healthy if there is not enough movement and activity in his life.
Don't ignore tactile sensations. Try to make it so that every day in your life there are hugs with other people.