Hivemindroom - personal growth training center Strong family! "What is a strong family?"
In the sexual life of every family, there comes a time when it is required to renew the relationship. Usually the situation is exacerbated if there is not enough sharpness of sensations and sexual needs are left without proper attention. At the same time, all attempts to forge connections turn out to be a failure. A strong family literally falling apart before our eyes. The spouse or spouse refuses to fulfill their fantasies and over time, they completely distance themselves from each other.
A strong family- it is not only a common life, children and the solution of pressing problems. It is also full-fledged regular sex. Some experts recommend not getting divorced, but secretly cheating on your soulmate. In the end, both partners may fall out of love. However, an experienced wife will never lead to a serious situation. A woman can always use tenderness and affection, even if she has a headache or worries about work.
Patience, dignity and forgiveness are the main leaving strong family... You can always talk heart to heart and peacefully resolve all conflicts. Threats, whims, crying sobbing, screams and tantrums will only further increase the gap between husband and wife. A woman should always remain wiser, because it is she who controls the feelings of her husband. A strong family carries the guarantee of a long and lasting relationship. But not all marriage partners are capable of developing sexual synchronicity.
Almost all family life guides claim that sex is possible only with the mutual desire of both husband and wife. Alas, in real life, such coincidences are achieved by years of living together, that is, grinding each other. It so happens that biologically the rhythms of the spouses do not coincide.
And if a husband wants sex at night, then a woman in the morning 
ohm. Or when one of the partners is sexually active. In order not to show constant sexual concern, turning into aggressiveness and violence, you can limit yourself to a love affair on the side.
The main thing that a strong family at the same time, she did not suffer, that is, such a relationship should be with the obligatory exception of love feelings and the claims of lovers.
Spiritual fidelity will not suffer, and you should not dwell on extraneous physical intimacy. Not all women and men can do without sex for a long time. Moreover, when the spouses have frequent business trips. And when you meet, you can satisfy all your desires and needs. Therefore, partners start other love relationships.
Another enemies strong family- everyday life and routine. These feelings do not come immediately, but, as a rule, a year after living together. And if the husband and wife used to throw themselves into each other's arms right from the doorway, now they meet in a short kiss on the cheek.
Having sex is more about gratitude than passion. And at the beginning of interesting television programs, partners break away from love games and switch to an informational communication mode.
Indeed, a happy and strong family is always taking into account many conditions and factors. Building a good family is a whole art; it is no easier than building a good reliable business, sometimes even more difficult. For now, we will only look at the most important conditions for a good, strong marriage. Many are also interested in the question - but how to predict, calculate in advance whether the family will be strong and whether the marriage will not fall apart in the first year or month? And what should be done so that love, which is almost always at the very beginning of a relationship, does not fade away over time? The Universal Laws of Relations are the answer! These laws and rules need to be known and observed, following them, in many respects, is the guarantor of the future of the family.
So what do you need to know and do to build a strong family?
The laws of a happy marriage:
1. The law of conformity, which sounds like this - Love prefers equals, and even more so long-term relationships. Those who say that all people are equal are either lying or are greatly mistaken. People are not equal - they are different in their level of strength, intelligence, potential, goals, values, etc. Two people who create a family should correspond to each other in many respects, they should be interested in each other. First of all, these are goals and values, there must be common vital interests, something that will unite two people. This is a guarantee that the lovers will not only love each other, but also understand, and this is no less important than feelings, in such a responsible matter as building a family.
Example. Most marriages, according to statistics, break up in the fall, after a vacation. Two people went to rest together, there is a lot of free time, only now it turns out that there is nothing to talk about, there is nothing that unites. And they understand that there is no point in staying together, because there is nothing in common, there are no topics for conversation, and there is no past love either. When there are no common interests at all, the end of marriage.
2. The Law of Love! This is the law of high feelings that have nothing to do with banal sexual attraction and primitive bodily or psychological possession.
"Marriages are made in heaven"- true marriages are blessed by the Gods, this is when two Souls love and choose each other, and not when instinct hits the head, and a person cannot control himself.
Love is a high spiritual feeling, it is not an emotion. True Love is the ability for the sake of love and a loved one, his happiness to step over any of his ambitions, selfishness, pride, this is the willingness to sacrifice his personal interests and even life. Love is not to take, but to give, and this is the most real happiness.
Love is the unity of the other four noble feelings -, and. Only these four feelings together will make your love strong, invulnerable and permanent. You need to learn the art of love - through the implementation of the other three Laws, which are described in this article.
3. The Law of Communication! Any relationship is, first of all, communication. No communication, no relationship. This is perhaps the most important thing that should be constantly between two loving people. Communication should be varied, pleasant and useful in all respects.
Nice talking- on all topics of interest - compliments, declarations of love, stories about your dreams and your life, discussion of plans for the future, philosophical debates on eternal topics, etc. Communication during evening walks, dinners, etc. Communication should not be empty or negative (gossip, bone washing, etc.), it should give joy, trust and knowledge of each other's inner world (Soul).
Useful communication. There will always be moments of disagreement, dissatisfaction with each other, etc. This cannot be avoided. Therefore, in the family, in order for the negative not to accumulate, time must be allocated for “useful communication”. In the form of "Useful communication" - these are round tables in order to adequately prevent and resolve conflicts, express complaints in the correct form, in order to learn to listen and hear each other, and find a compromise. I know many families who survived thanks to this unique form and reached a new level of feelings, depth of trust in each other, strengthened relationships, and are happy to this day. And also, I know families that broke up, because the husband and wife did not allocate time for communication and did not know how to negotiate with each other.
4. Law of Development! A family is created not only in order to give birth and raise children, and to continue their family. And first of all, so that two souls develop through each other, so that many life lessons go together. Family happiness is always ensured by joint growth, when two people develop together and individually. And when one grows up, for example, makes a career, attends trainings, is active in life, and the second sits at home and does not strive for anything, does not grow - this sooner or later leads to the disintegration of the family. The first simply becomes not interested in the second, he outgrows the second.
This happens when, for example, a woman, after giving birth to a child, decides to stay at home, not work, abandons a career and become a housewife, and in fact a service staff. She gradually ceases to be bright, attractive and attractive to her husband, and this often leads to the fact that the man begins to pull to the left. Cheating is always very bad, it is a crime. Why? We will talk about infidelity in the following articles. But in the described situation, a man naturally begins to be attracted by brighter, more expressive, active, ambitious ladies. Those who do not forget about themselves as a woman and want to please men. And not every man can resist the temptation. In the same way, on the contrary, when a woman is active, she grows, but a man remains passive and not ambitious, aimless and does not change at all.
The ideal option is when both spouses are active in terms of personal growth, that is, they work on their shortcomings and reveal more and more facets of their own personality, new abilities and talents. Constant personal growth - makes the soul, the inner world of a person rich, with such a person it will always be interesting. This is not a vegetable in the garden that does not need anything, just not to touch it.
About what human development is and about personal growth trainings - see.
Following these laws will allow you not only to save your family, but also to make your relationships, love, trust, respect and family happiness always grow!
Success and victories on the family front :) Best regards, author
"A friendly family is a strong family."
Parable: “A long time ago there was a family in which there were 100 people, but there was no agreement between them. They are tired of quarrels and strife. And so the family members decided to turn to the sage to teach them how to live in harmony. The sage listened attentively to the petitioners and said: "No one will teach you to live happily, you yourself must understand what you need for happiness, write what you want your family to be." This huge family gathered for a family council and they decided that the family should be friendly, it is necessary to treat each other, adhering to these qualities ... ".
The family is built on trust and love, on mutual respect and understanding. All these are components of a strong foundation for a family - family values. These are the common interests of the whole family. We are not born with them, family values are not inherited, they cannot be bought, but you can only acquire and cherish them all our lives, cherish them like the apple of our eye.
My family consists of 8 people. I work in the kindergarten "Sun" as a teacher. My husband works as a driver. We have two lovely girls who attend the same kindergarten where I work. My mother-in-law is a teacher by education, and for several years she worked as a kindergarten teacher. At the moment, he is retired working in an ice rink. Two more brothers, a husband and a daughter-in-law, live with us. One brother serves, and the other recently arrived from the army. The daughter-in-law is a hairdresser by profession. I believe that we have a very large and friendly family.
Our family lives under the motto “A friendly family - a strong family”. WITHThe family as the main element of society has been and remains the keeper of spiritual and moral values and national culture. Thanks to the family, the state grows stronger and develops, the well-being of the people grows. A strong, large family should become a reference phenomenon in society.
We are from Dagestan. And many people know that Dagestan is a peculiar and unique region where all nationalities (and there are more than 40 of them) have learned to live as one family, where for many centuries their spiritual values have been developed, the culture and the education system of the younger generation have been formed. This system is based on traditions and adats that have existed for millennia. And our family also has such traditions.
One of the first ancient traditions of our family is to give a newborn baby a name. The name, as a rule, is given to the newborn by the eldest in the family.Newborn children in our family are named with the names of deceased ancestors precisely on the paternal side, but if at the right moment the free name of the ancestors is not found or there were several of them, there were various ways of choosing a name. In particular, boys are named after the Muslim name of the month in which he was born, and names in honor of the prophets are also common. And the girls are given the names of the wives of the prophets.In the case of frequent deaths of children in a family, they usually give special names that deceive evil spirits who mortally harm children. This is how my mother-in-law gave names to my children in honor of their great-grandmother and her paternal sister.
The rallying of our entire clan into one large family is facilitated by such folk traditions as the celebration of the first furrow, the festival of flowers, the festival of collecting cherries and others. A bonfire is also kindled, and the whole family, up to the very old people, jump over them, hoping to be freed from sins, diseases, hardships and troubles of the old year being seen off.Children, jumping over the fires, loudly shout: "I myself am down, and my sins are up," go around the village with bags, collecting gifts.
Another tradition that was passed on to me from my mother-in-law, and from her mother-in-law to her, is carpet weaving and knitting. To this day, we can sit with her in the evenings and knit socks with multi-colored patterns.
Many different traditions, customs and rituals were collected by our great-grandfathers. Our parents strictly followed these established traditions and customs. Our current generation, however, does not follow these rules so strictly. We are not aware of many traditions, but we also honor and try to observe some of them.
And also my daughter and I took part in the family festival "Family, Ugra, Russia". It was very interesting and enticing to participate in the competition.While participating in festivals, we danced the Lezginka dance. Lezginka is a dance that has passed through the centuries, passing from father to son, from mother to daughter. Today anyone who has a desire can master it.Since childhood, I went to a dance club, and now I have taught my daughter some movements. By participating in this competition, we received a winner's diploma, which made us very happy.The revival of lost family values can lead to the revival of society, because having a family, a person has a reliable rear, he has an urgent need to take care of his family, his children.
And I also really love this family tradition of ours: to give poems of my own composition on my birthday. We have a common family album, which is updated every year with new wishes. When I leaf through mine, my whole life passes before my eyes. At the age of one, my mother wanted me to run with her legs as soon as possible; at three, my father wrote comic poems about how I first saddled a bicycle. At ten, when I was actively involved in athletics, my grandfather wished me to become an Olympic champion. Reading such poetic congratulations from loved ones is always a little touching and joyful, because once again you understand how your relatives love you. I am sure that there is no strong family that does not have its own family traditions and values. They help us believe in the continuity of life and the triumph of love. My husband and I really love our children as they are, as we bring them up. For this, they try to become even better. I think that time will pass, and we, as parents, will be proud of our children. It will be gratitude for our hard parenting work.
We all carry a certain "baggage" from parental families. Our ancestors pass on to us their experience, knowledge and beliefs regarding any area of family life: when and with whom to marry, whom to marry, how many children should be, how to raise them, how to deal with teenagers, how to make a living, what kind of work is the most the best, how to measure success, how to cope with crisis, loss, trauma and tragedy, how to face old age with dignity.
Family Is a union of two people, their union for the birth and upbringing of children. All world religions have helped create, strengthen and develop families. The family is the cell of any state. If the family is destroyed, the state becomes unviable. If individual cells die, sooner or later the whole organism will die.
The main meaning of any relationship between a man and a woman is to develop the soul and increase love.
The family in which the spouses help each other learn to love and purify the soul will be strong.... Spouses should help each other overcome dependence on instincts, transform animal energy into human and Divine.
One of the most powerful factors in the development of the human soul is the birth of children.... A small child can give nothing but love, and he needs to be taken care of at all three levels: on the physical, and on the spiritual, and on the soul. Love for the child and caring for him turn off all self-interest, help human logic to turn into Divine. The more children there are in the family, the more love, warmth, care and attention a parent should give. Therefore, a family with several children is, in fact, a school of love.
The formation of the future family occurs first on a subtle plane., on the subtle energies of the subconscious. For many years before they met, the souls of men and women meet on a subtle plane and lay the scenario of joint development. As soon as puberty begins, the search for a future husband or wife and a meeting with them occurs, invisible to the human sight and consciousness.
It takes a big package of energy to create a family. since family is, first of all, sacrifice, care, overcoming painful aspects - and this is impossible without energy. If a person is used to taking but not giving, there will be no family or it will fall apart. For a woman, the willingness to consume without giving back care and affection is more dangerous than for a man: a woman must be ready to devote a lot of energy to children. The family is a woman; it is her energy that determines whether the family will survive or disintegrate.
Why can't many women start a family? If a woman cannot give birth to a harmonious child, if she cannot forgive a man, she is taken away from the family. Before the birth of a child, there should be a cleaning, and if a woman cannot accept the pain of the soul in advance, then this cleaning will only aggravate her problems, therefore it is useless to give cleaning, and therefore there should be no family and children. This is the logic of universal laws.
The basis of a strong family is friendship between spouses, which is more important than the sexual side of the relationship. since sexuality is a manifestation of instincts, and friendship is the warmth of the soul, it is selfless love. If a marriage is based solely on sexual feelings, it cannot last. Feelings will weaken - betrayal will occur, and the marriage will fall apart. A friend is the one with whom you can go on a hike or exploration, who can save, donate your piece of bread, not fall into hysterics and depression at the slightest difficulty. The more spouses will give love and warmth to each other, the more they will be friends, and not lovers, - the less they will depend on sexual relations.
One of the reasons for divorce is just sexual compatibility since with maximum sexual pleasure, it is much easier to forget about God. Further growth of attachment and the associated aggressiveness inevitably leads to the breakdown of the family or the birth of a sick child.
Causes of family problems and family breakdown:
- Inability to resolve conflicts.
There can be no development without conflicts, a happy family is one where there are conflicts, but they are resolved correctly.
When one of the spouses does not compromise, believes that he is absolutely right, puts ultimatums, it is useless to keep such a family. If a person is not ready to change, improve his character, forgive and sacrifice, it is easier to send such a person to "free float".
In order for the family to have normal relations, you need to constantly demonstrate care for each other, emphasize your unity, and say compliments to each other.
Through children, husband and wife unite on the subtle plane. Therefore, if one drowns, the other begins to drown as well. This means that for the well-being of the whole family, you need to take care of the other no less than of yourself. Each of the spouses should strive for personal happiness and at the same time - to make the other happy. If through love he can combine these two opposites, the family will be happy. If there is not enough love, then the relationship becomes flawed: a person tramples either others for the sake of his egoism, or himself for the sake of children or a spouse.
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Treason.
Cheating usually happens thenwhen a husband or wife has high dependence on instincts when their behavior is governed by lust and immorality;
when the lack of a culture of family life, the wrong resolution of conflicts, the accumulation of claims against each other lead to the destruction of bright feelings, the loss of the joy of communication. Often behind the search for a new sexual partner lies an elementary desire to experience spiritual joy, mental pain, awaken the lost feeling of love;
when one of the spouses deifies another, worships him as God... In this case, love turns into passion and affection. The stronger the attachment, the more aggressiveness - then betrayal and love triangles arise as a desire to be saved.
The love and joy that we give to loved ones develops our soul. The more energy and love we can give, the easier it is for us to cognize the Creator and unite with Him. But so that human love does not lead to fusion and death of souls, you need to internally keep your distance with your loved one... The leaves of the tree should not grow together with each other. They should feel their unity through the roots of the tree.
Be happy and love each other can only those spouses who subconsciously give the first, most powerful feeling of love to God - this is the meaning of the wedding ceremony: love and the main energy should go to God, then to the family, the reproduction of children, and only then to sexual pleasure.
A woman can rather forget about God, worshiping a loved one.... A woman, by nature, has a very high concentration on her beloved person, family, and relationships and, therefore, a high predisposition to forgetting God, to put love for family above love for God.
Sometimes a married woman starts a relationship on the side, because husband does not give her sex, affection, attention... Most often, this behavior of the husband is associated with dysfunctional children. If the child is about to fall ill or die, the mother must be humiliated to save him. To save his children, a father intuitively turns on the most powerful mechanism of humiliation associated with the sexual sphere. A woman arranges her happiness on the side - and aggravates the problems of children. There is only one way out: a woman should direct her main energy not to the search for external happiness and pleasures, but to the search for true happiness, which is impossible without sufficiently painful changes in her soul.
Many families break up when all the problems go away, at the peak of well-being and stability. Psychologists shrug their shoulders. And the reason for what is happening is quite simple: difficulties force us to rally, develop relationships, take care of each other, give energy - in other words, difficulties and problems awaken love. For the same reason, it is better for young families to live separately from the older generation.
If, as a result of family relationships, a person becomes more selfish, more aggressive, then, in order to maintain love, it is better to lose such a relationship. The most correct, but also the most difficult way is to keep love and educate yourself and your partner.
As often happens, we "wear" happy smiles only for family photos. And in the whirlwind of life's bustle, we don't even realize how important our loved ones are.
A strong family is not so simple!
There are times when we feel an urgent need to communicate with family... And sometimes we prefer to minimize contact with loved ones. In certain situations, we turn off the mobile without much remorse when the mother's number is displayed on its screen. After all, we know perfectly well what questions she will ask: "How was your day?", "What did you cook for dinner?" and the eternal "When will you come to see me?"
And she calls just when we have absolutely no time or desire to talk. But there are days (especially in difficult moments or if we are away from loved ones) when we are ready to give a lot, if only, as if by one wave of a magic wand, return to childhood, to my mother's arms.
A strong family in our time
There is an opinion that the modern family is no longer the family that was decades ago. Relationships between loved ones, attitudes and values have changed. More and more often, for example, husbands stay late at work and not always in order to earn more money, but often in order to. .. "run away" from the family!
On the other hand, according to psychologists, never before has our connection with loved ones been as strong as in modern times. We don't even realize how important family ties are to us.
It depends on the family whether we are happy or not. This was proved by American psychologists by conducting a study in two groups of people: one - people with strong family ties, the second - lonely.
The result speaks for itself - those who were brought up in a large strong family, and now are fully happy and do not want to change anything. Lonely people also said that they were happy, but when asked what they would like to change in their life, all as one answered: "A lot!" Why is family so important to a person's personal happiness?
What family supports us
In everyday life, we do not even think about what family means to us, and what is this amazing bond that even the strongest friendship cannot replace. Very often (especially on the eve of family holidays) a strange but strong desire awakens in us to see those in whose veins the same blood flows as in ours.
If now your relationship with loved ones (parents, relatives) is not the best, you, without hesitation, object: "I don't need a family!" You are financially independent, you solve your problems yourself, and you can always ask your friend for advice. This is true.
But have you ever wondered to whom you owe all of this? Most likely the family in which you grew up. How each of us learned from childhood certain family traditions, values and principles. This is the capital that we use in adult independent life, spend and replenish it in order to pass it on to our children.
Strong family - where they help each other
Think for a couple of minutes about why you can't live without your loved ones.- parents and relatives ... You are not alone with them. It doesn't matter if your loved ones live in the same city as you, or at the end of the world. You don't have to see each other three times a week. They just exist - and this is the main thing. And you know what they think of you too. But don't forget that communication is also very important. Call, write letters, visit each other whenever possible.
You can count on them. All people make mistakes, and your loved ones are no exception. Everything happens in life, and sometimes even the most dear people can offend us greatly. But have you ever wondered what you would do without your brother, who is always ready to fix the tap in your apartment? Or without your sister, who taught you how to apply makeup many years ago, and then from A to Z organized your wedding? How would you manage to combine motherhood with work, if not for your mother? Without the help of a strong family, many things would not have been possible in life.
The family will always help with advice. You can count on the help of your family not only in everyday matters and worries. There are moments when you have to make important life decisions and cannot do without wise advice.
You can be sure of one thing - your loved ones will not deceive you, because your happiness is important to them. Their opinions may differ from yours, but they are sincere and selflessly in love with you.
A strong family will teach you how to give love
Have you ever wondered why you like so much to give your tenderness to children? Why do you want to say "I love" to your husband? Because this behavior was taught to you by your parents, relatives, your whole family. Before falling in love in adulthood, you need to learn to love as a child. And we learn this in our father's house.
Later, love goes with us through life, we pass it on to our children, and they give it to us and pass it on to their offspring. And our grandchildren then give it to us doubly.
Loved ones motivate to take action. Sometimes it is scary to make an important decision, you hesitate, do not dare to act. If you tell your loved ones about this, they will definitely listen to you and try to give good advice. And the conversation itself will already bring relief.
After all, almost every day, since childhood, parents are constantly raising our "bar". Sometimes we manage to jump over it, and sometimes we do not. But it is not the results that are important here, but the jump itself. It is the family that motivates us to action, growth, development.
Loved ones form the image of our own family. From home we take out an example of the “social unit”. If your parents and grandparents lived in a happy marriage, their union will serve as a model for you to create your own family. You will do everything so that your marriage is successful, and the children can then remember pleasant moments in the family circle - just like you.