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How to calm a newborn when he cries: ways, recommendations. Why is the baby crying? What to do if a baby cries in a dream or when feeding, how to respond to a strong crying baby and how to calm him down


From the very moment of his birth to the development of speech, crying is the only acoustic way in which a child can convey his requests or indignations to adults. For an infant, crying actually replaces a conversation - through it, he reports that something is bothering him. Crying is not needed at all in order to temper character or train the lungs. On the contrary, it strains the children's nervous system, makes the baby doubt the friendliness and safety of the world. And too long crying can even cause direct harm to the child - cause an umbilical hernia.
Babies cry regularly, however, the more parents communicate with them, the less intensity, frequency and duration of crying become. According to statistics, the most “tearful” time of day is the interval from 16 to 20 hours.

What to do if the baby cries a lot?

You should immediately react to the crying of the baby: take it in your arms, put it on your chest and start rocking it, and in general, use any available way to calm it down. The quickest baby calms down in the mother's arms. Then eliminate all possible inconvenience for him. At the same time, the mother herself must demonstrate calmness to the baby, then her confidence will be transferred to him. Gradually, mom will learn to distinguish between different types of crying.
The child, by the way, and the father can and should be trusted more often. Often, boys calm down much faster in the arms of their father than in their mother. Perhaps men react more calmly to children's crying and therefore convey their equanimity to crumbs.
You should not be afraid of getting used to the child's hands. Crying always reflects a real problem. A crying child is experiencing stress, and parents should alleviate his well-being in any way. After a month, the baby is already forming a mode of feeding, sleeping and waking, so the cause of crying can already be associated with the time when it occurs.

How to calm babies up to 3 months?

Harvey Karp Method

What are the causes of crying in very tiny children? Frustration or fear? Parents who are tired of long motion sickness and chronic lack of sleep can try the technique of the American Harvey Karp.
First, according to the old tradition, the baby must be tightly swaddled, pressing his hands to the body so that the fabric slightly squeezes the baby's body. The baby will perceive such a position as a presence in the mother's womb, cramped, but warm and calm. You also need to dim the lights in the room for a more comfortable environment and put the baby next to you. Even if the diaper does not help, then the baby needs to be turned on its side, put the forearm under the head and put the palm on the tummy. The baby will lean forward slightly. In this position, he will calm down faster, since he was almost also located in the womb. The palm of the mother, slightly pressing on the intestines of the crumb, relieves him of discomfort and colic.
If the baby continues to whimper, then you can rock him. You need to press it with your back to your body, and support the head with your palm. Then the baby will lie sideways on the arm, and from below it can be supported with the second hand to keep it in this position. Walking slowly around the room or standing still, the child needs to be rocked as if he were in a cradle. The movements should be smooth, with a small amplitude, so that they resemble the fluctuations in the mother's womb when she turns in bed or walks.
While in the uterus, the fetus hears the work of the mother's intestines, and a muffled noise from the outside in the form of an indistinct hiss reaches him. Therefore, even restless and capricious babies calm down when they hear the hiss of their mother rocking them. First, she says “Shhh” loudly to get the attention of the crumbs, and then turns down the volume as the baby calms down.
Sometimes babies are silent, but they are not going to sleep. Then, in order to avoid repeated tantrums, you need to use the strong sucking reflex that 3-6 month old babies have and offer the child a dummy or breast. The baby is silent for a while, giving the mother the opportunity to rest from his cry. This technique is effective for children no older than 3-4 months. Swaddling with motion sickness is often sufficient. Well, if the baby continues the tantrum, then you can use all of the above methods at once.

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Causal actions

Since young parents are still bad at guessing the needs of the baby, they may miss some details of his “signals”. Creases on the sheet, a too hard mattress, a slipped blanket, irritation unnoticed on the skin can bring the baby to hysteria.
The screaming baby needs to be taken out of the crib and swaddled, check the diaper and let him lie down naked for 10-15 minutes. In the meantime, carefully examine the skin of the baby in the buttocks and legs, back and armpits. The areas found with redness should be treated, first with boiled water or chamomile decoction, and then smeared with fortified baby cream or powdered with powder. Irritation of the skin causes the baby to burn and itch, so he cannot sleep. The use of children's cosmetics will calm the child and relieve unpleasant symptoms.
The child can also cry from hunger, pull his hands to his mother, scream insistently and demandingly. Babies grow quickly, and their appetite grows with them, so it is not surprising that, having had a hearty dinner, the baby will ask for supplements in half an hour. One has only to bring him to the chest and feed him, as he immediately calms down and falls asleep.
Since thermoregulation in infants is still weak, at night they can wake up from heat or cold and begin to act up. If the baby has a hot nose and back, and the room is hot, then you need to undress him as much as possible, and use a sheet instead of a blanket. If his tummy and nose are cold, then, on the contrary, he should be changed into something warmer or covered with a warm blanket.

How to calm babies from 4 months to a year?

Like adults, children have nightmares in their dreams. And if at night they start to get hysterical, then perhaps the baby dreams that his parents left him alone and went somewhere. A screaming baby should be immediately picked up, shaken and tried to calm down. You can talk to him or sing a song. The quiet, gentle voice of the mother will distract the baby from terrible visions and gradually put her to sleep.
3-4-month-old babies love to sit and sleep in the "kenguryatnik". Here they can snuggle up to their mother's breasts and hear her heartbeat. In such an elastic cocoon it is safe, cozy, warm and cramped. Mom can put on such a device during the day, put the child in it and go for a walk. Many babies are attracted to the noise of busy streets and passing cars, which displaces the tantrum, and the baby even falls asleep.
A typical picture - a child cries in the middle of the night, but there is simply no strength to rock him. What to do? Most desperate mothers turn on the TV, where they choose a channel with moving characters and bright pictures. The baby can be distracted by what is happening on the screen, calm down and gradually fall asleep. Although such an accustoming from childhood to the TV will not bring anything good, even if mom can sleep. Instead of a TV, it is better to divert the attention of the crumbs with bright wrapping paper or a bag, which can be given to the baby to touch, crush and then hang over his crib.
Dancing can also calm the baby. A mother with a baby in her arms begins to sing and spin around the room, swinging it in different directions, turning it and carefully throwing it up. The kid really likes such a "roller coaster", he will quickly have fun and forget about the reasons for his crying. After he calms down, he can be given a bottle of formula or a pacifier so that he does not think of throwing the next tantrum.
During a tantrum, children open their mouths wide, swallowing air that enters the digestive system and causes colic. If the cry lasts more than 5 minutes, and the baby does not stop, then it should be deployed vertically, making it possible to burp.
Sometimes the baby cries for no apparent reason, for example, due to a lack of parental attention. Mom may be exhausted by that time and only wants to sleep for at least half an hour, but the baby requires constant care and affection. You can lie down with a crying baby and start talking to him about anything. The meaning of the text for the baby is still incomprehensible, but the familiar timbre and intonation are important, which soothe the best.

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How to calm children from 2 to 4 years?

When the kids have colic and finish cutting their teeth, it’s too early for parents to relax. Two-year-olds have their own reasons for tantrums:

  • mother did not give sweetness;
  • hungry or do not want to eat;
  • the baby is tired, but cannot sleep;
  • did not like the clothes;
  • does not want to go for a walk or return from a walk.

A kid with a bad mood will always find a reason to throw a tantrum. Although the mother in such cases is already heated to the limit herself and is ready for a quick reprisal, it is better for her to remain calm:

  • Let's pay later. You need to kneel down, look into the eyes of the baby and ask to calm down - after all, soon the sun will set and it will become dark and scary. Children do not ride on a swing at night, but sleep. You can cry tomorrow if you want. Such logic often convinces a child, he agrees to “wait” until tomorrow, calms down and gradually falls asleep.
  • Sleeping dad. If the baby does not want to calm down for a long time and cries, then you can hug him and say that, of course, he has the right to cry, but it is better to do it quietly, because a tired or sick dad is sleeping nearby, who cannot be woken up. The kid does not want to upset his beloved dad and moderates the cry, and then completely subsides.
  • Fast reaction. Not getting what you want or being offended by something, the little one is already ready to burst into tears. You can stop the emerging hysteria in the bud by offering to turn on your favorite cartoons, see what the pussy is doing, find out who rustles in the closet, count the leaves on the bushes. You need to offer decisively so that the baby does not have time to cry. Children's attention easily switches to more interesting topics, and the drama never has time to unfold.
  • Bad item. If the baby hit something, then the “culprit” needs to be “punished” - let the baby slap him himself, and then rush to his mother so that she kisses the bruised place.

Reasons for concern

  • If the baby cries while feeding, then, perhaps, his ears, nose, mucous membranes of the mouth or throat hurt.
  • If the baby cries while urinating, then you need to show it to the doctor and check the ureter and kidneys.
  • If a child cries when pooping, then again, you need to show it to the pediatrician, who will send him for an examination of the rectum. Otherwise, he may begin to be afraid of the process of defecation - psychological constipation will occur.
  • After sleeping during the day, the child wants to communicate with parents at night and starts screaming. He is afraid of strangers and unfamiliar surroundings.
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Many childcare manuals talk about crying. It accompanies life so naturally baby that it is simply impossible to forget about him. However, there is little mention of what a mother feels when her baby bursts into tears. We will figure out why a newborn often cries, whether it is necessary to take a crying child in his arms, how to survive and respond to crying in older children.

Everywhere you can read that "gradually, the mother learns to distinguish the sounds made by her child." With experience, you really begin to see the difference between the cry of a hungry wolf and the whimper of a sick baby. But no one mentions that any kind of crying is ultimately very exhausting.

Of course, the mother has enough intelligence and empathy to understand that the baby has no other ways of expressing itself. He screams not at all to annoy his mother, but only to ask her for help.

Of course, you all know this. However, for a fraction of a second you have the urge to shout: “Shut up someday, you little monster!”.

Depending on the age of the child, crying is perceived differently, and several stages can be distinguished in the perception of children's crying by parents.

  • : parents do not understand very well the reason for his crying, they feel powerless, frantically trying to find at least some solution, asking themselves if they are good parents (guilt - 5 points on a five-point scale).
  • A few weeks later: parents know why their baby is crying, and without hesitation find a solution (which they came to through sleepless nights and hundreds of dirty diapers).
  • After a few months: the infant has perfectly mastered how to get his parents to react, and begins to use all his power of persuasion. Parents are already hardened enough and know how to bypass the traps set by the little trickster.

Favorite time and place of a screaming baby

  • Middle of the night at the hotel.
  • In the supermarket under the vicious glances of aunts in curlers.
  • On the plane (especially during a long flight).
  • When mom is on the phone and she needs to write down important information about an upcoming meeting.
  • In the car when you are trying to find your meeting place.
  • During some ceremony, meeting, to which you were forced to take it.

A newborn baby does not cry the most, but it is he who is the most difficult to understand. You should always proceed from the fact that he will not throw tantrums just like that, and you should establish the reason with a little investigation. Don't worry, you will become a real Sherlock Holmes very quickly: it has been scientifically proven that within ten days after the birth of a child, a mother recognizes from 3 to 6 types of his crying.

Reasons for baby anxiety signs
I want to eat/drink. These are very loud cries of rage that do not stop when you pick him up. Often he puts his fist in his mouth. The only thing that matters to him right now is food.
I'm wet. These cries are not so loud, rather plaintive, but much more annoying.
I'm tired. The child whimpers, sobs, it is clear that he is uncomfortable. He wants you to hug him and comfort him.
I'm in pain. Sharp, piercing, alarmed cries that do not stop when you take the baby in your arms. Up to three months, we are usually talking about colic associated with the immaturity of the nervous and digestive systems.
I need to unload. These cries allow you to get rid of the stress accumulated during the day, and are accompanied by increased arousal.
Choice:
I'm completely naked.
I'm wet.
I'm being squeezed.
What is this noise?		 Whimpering or loud crying, depending on the degree of discomfort.

Should I pick him up right away?

How do you choose between the instinctive desire to comfort your child and what the remnants of neurons that survived in the mother's brain suggest (“no, no, no, you need to wait a bit”)?

Answering the call of the child, you let him know that you are here and ready to comfort him and help. If the baby understands that there is someone nearby who can be trusted, he will grow up calm and self-confident.

Nevertheless, the baby will greatly advance in his development if he learns to comfort himself by finding the strength to calm down. A discreet and sympathetic presence - that's the right attitude of the ideal mother, isn't it?

When nothing helps

He is crying. As a rule, this happens in the late afternoon. You tried to solve this problem: dressed the baby, fed him. You rock him, caress him. Nothing helps. These are classic colic, arising from the child's need to get rid of the stress accumulated during the day, from the stress experienced (excitation, fatigue, joy, etc.). Haven't you ever wanted to discharge yourself from an excess of emotions?

In such situations, the stress and discomfort of the child become contagious: the mother feels powerless, begins to get nervous, tension builds up. Give the baby time to calm down by leaving him in his room, only occasionally come in to check if he is all right. If he continues to cry, you can walk with him from room to room, provided that you yourself remain calm while doing so ...

It will also be necessary to come to terms with these passing crises, they are inevitable, and try to experience them with dignity, without exacerbating the situation.

Crying older baby

A growing baby may develop new types of crying. As a person develops, his anxieties become more sophisticated. Having done away with primitive problems (hunger, thirst, sleep, wet diapers), the child enters the wonderful world of metaphysical worries: I want to attract your attention, I need love...

"Hey, I'm bored!" As soon as the child stops sleeping for days on end, he is seized by a thirst for discovery. Do not leave him in the crib, take advantage of the fact that he is still motionless and take a deck chair with him. He will be happy to watch how his mother washes dishes, cooks food, and cleans up.

Inexpensive and very entertaining toys

  • A small plastic bottle with a few paperclips, pebbles or dry beans (note: the lid must be screwed on very tightly).
  • Foil cardboard tube.
  • Well sealed box with cotton swabs.
  • Plastic bracelets.
  • A variety of boxes that can be opened and closed.
  • Food cartons (usually decorated with bright, beautiful pictures).

“You don’t let me touch what I want - I’ll give you such a tantrum now!” Frustration is perhaps one of the most painful feelings that children experience. Parents set boundaries and forbid them from touching sockets, light bulbs, fragile trinkets, etc. The baby needs to learn to deal with this feeling.

"No, mom, don't leave me!" Pretty quickly, the baby will learn the feeling of sadness, seeing how you leave. It is generally accepted that by 8 months he discovers "breakup anxiety", in other words, the fear that you will not return. Of course, each child is different: someone cries as soon as the mother goes into the next room, and someone does not remember her even after two days. In both cases, there is no cause for alarm, all this will pass.

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Discussion

Yes, indeed. subconsciously understand what each scream, whimper, etc. means)

Our poor peanuts((

03/16/2016 18:50:01, Inna Poleva

I could never understand colic, wants to eat or just bored. I'll take note!!!

Thanks for the article, very useful information.

Helpful information. I remember when the firstborn appeared in our family, we all could not understand why he was crying. Turned out to be colic. Go and guess if you don't know anything about children that worries them.

Comment on the article "Why a newborn often cries: 6 reasons"

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Many childcare manuals talk about crying. It accompanies the life of the baby so naturally that it is simply impossible to forget about it. However, there is little mention of what a mother feels when her baby bursts into tears. We will figure out why a newborn often cries, whether it is necessary to take a crying child in his arms, how to survive colic and respond to crying in older children. Crying of a child: what adults feel Everywhere you can read that “gradually, mother learns to distinguish sounds ...

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Discussion

How to professionally make an extreme neighbor. Found the culprit. She did everything right. And it’s better to keep silent and not climb, right? And then everyone is amazed - how the neighbors were silent when the children were killed, beaten, put on chains, etc. All claims to the work of guardianship and law enforcement agencies.

Do you check the information before sketching?

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Discussion

I was that age. And she herself was embarrassed, but the tears themselves flowed.
I think it's worth contacting an endocrinologist. If everything is fine there, then go to a neurologist, if everything is normal there, go to a psychologist.

How long ago did it start? How does she explain herself? Overtired?

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Discussion

11. When examining a doctor, can a doctor always make a diagnosis of premature rupture of water with certainty?
With a massive rupture, it is not difficult to make a diagnosis. But, unfortunately, in almost half of the cases, doctors even at leading clinics doubt the diagnosis if they rely only on examination data and old research methods.

12. Is it possible to make a diagnosis of premature rupture of water using ultrasound?
An ultrasound examination makes it possible to tell whether a woman has oligohydramnios or not. But the cause of oligohydramnios can be not only a rupture of the membranes, but also a violation of the function of the kidneys of the fetus and other conditions. On the other hand, there are cases when a small rupture of the membranes occurs against the background of polyhydramnios, for example, in the pathology of the kidneys of a pregnant woman. Ultrasound is an important method for monitoring the condition of a woman who has had a premature rupture of the membranes, but does not answer the question of whether the membranes are intact.

13. Is it possible to determine the leakage of water using litmus paper?
Indeed, there is such a method for determining amniotic fluid, based on determining the acidity of the vaginal environment. It is called the nitrazine test or amniotest. Normally, the vaginal environment is acidic, and the amniotic fluid is neutral. Therefore, the entry of amniotic fluid into the vagina leads to the fact that the acidity of the vaginal environment decreases. But, unfortunately, the acidity of the vaginal environment also decreases in other conditions, such as infection, urine, sperm. Therefore, unfortunately, a test based on determining the acidity of the vagina gives a lot of both false positive and false negative results.

14. In many antenatal clinics, a swab is taken for water, how accurate is this method for diagnosing premature outflow of water?
Vaginal discharge containing fetal water, when applied to a glass slide and dried, forms a pattern resembling fern leaves (fern phenomenon). Unfortunately, the test also gives a lot of inaccurate results. In addition, in many medical institutions, laboratories work only during the day and on weekdays.
15. What are the modern methods for diagnosing premature rupture of membranes?
Modern methods for diagnosing premature rupture of the membranes are based on the determination of specific proteins, which are abundant in the amniotic fluid and are not normally found in the vaginal discharge and other body fluids. To detect these substances, an antibody system is developed, which is applied to the test strip. The principle of operation of such tests is similar to a pregnancy test. The most accurate test is a test based on the detection of a protein called placental alpha microglobulin. The commercial name is Amnishur (AmniSure®).

16. How accurate is the Amnishur test?
The accuracy of the Amnishur test is 98.7%.

17. Can a woman perform the Amnishur test on her own?
Yes, unlike all other research methods, the Amnishur test does not require examination in the mirrors and a woman can put it at home. Everything you need to set up the test is included in the kit. This is a tampon that is inserted into the vagina to a depth of 5-7 cm and held there for 1 minute, a test tube with a solvent, in which the tampon is washed for 1 minute and then a test strip is thrown out, which is inserted into the test tube. The result is read after 10 minutes. In the case of a positive result, as with a pregnancy test, 2 strips appear. With a negative result - one strip.

18. What if the test result is positive?
If the test turned out to be positive, you need to call an ambulance or go to the maternity hospital if the pregnancy is more than 28 weeks and to the gynecological department of the hospital if the pregnancy is less than 28 weeks. The sooner treatment is started, the greater the chance of avoiding complications.

19. What if the test is negative?
If the test is negative, you can stay at home, but at the next visit to the doctor, you need to talk about the disturbing symptoms.

20. If more than 12 hours have passed since the alleged rupture of the membranes, is it possible to test?
No, if more than 12 hours have passed since the alleged rupture and the signs of outflow of water have stopped, then the test may show an incorrect result.

Questions and answers about premature amniotic fluid leakage

1. How common is premature rupture of membranes?
True premature rupture of membranes occurs in about one in ten pregnant women. However, almost every fourth woman experiences some kind of symptoms that can be confused with premature rupture of the membranes. This is a physiological increase in vaginal secretion, and slight urinary incontinence in later pregnancy and profuse discharge during genital tract infections.

2. How does premature rupture of membranes manifest itself?
If a massive rupture of the membranes has occurred, then it cannot be confused with anything: a large amount of a clear, odorless and colorless liquid is immediately released. However, if the gap is small, which doctors also call a subclinical or high lateral gap, then it can be very difficult to make a diagnosis.

3. What is the danger of premature rupture of membranes?
There are 3 types of complications that can lead to premature rupture of the membranes. The most frequent and severe complication is the development of an ascending infection, up to sepsis of the newborn. In preterm pregnancy, premature rupture of the membranes can lead to premature birth with all the consequences of having a premature baby. With a massive outflow of water, mechanical injury to the fetus, prolapse of the umbilical cord, placental abruption is possible.

4. Who is more likely to rupture the membranes?
Risk factors for premature rupture of the membranes are infection of the genital organs, overstretching of the membranes due to polyhydramnios or multiple pregnancies, abdominal trauma, incomplete closure of the uterine os. An important risk factor is premature rupture of the membranes during a previous pregnancy. However, in almost every 3rd woman, rupture of the membranes occurs in the absence of any significant risk factors.

5. How quickly does labor begin in case of premature rupture of the membranes?
This is largely determined by the duration of pregnancy. At full-term pregnancy, half of the women spontaneous labor occurs within 12 hours and more than 90% within 48 hours. With a premature pregnancy, it is possible to keep the pregnancy for a week or longer if the infection does not join.

6. Can a small amount of amniotic fluid be released normally?
Normally, the fetal membranes are airtight and no, even the smallest penetration of amniotic fluid into the vagina occurs. Women often mistake increased vaginal secretion or slight urinary incontinence for leakage of amniotic fluid.

7. Is it true that in case of premature rupture of water, pregnancy is terminated regardless of the term?
Premature rupture of the membranes is indeed a very dangerous complication of pregnancy, but with timely diagnosis, hospitalization and timely treatment, premature pregnancy can often be prolonged if no infection occurs. With a full-term pregnancy and close to full-term, as a rule, they stimulate the onset of labor. Modern methods of diagnostics and treatment in this case allow you to smoothly prepare a woman for childbirth.
8. If there was a premature rupture of the membranes, but the mucous plug did not come off, does it protect against infection?
The mucous plug does protect against infection, but if the membranes rupture, the protection of the mucous plug alone is not enough. If treatment is not started within 24 hours of the rupture, serious infectious complications may occur.

9. Is it true that the waters are divided into anterior and posterior, and the outpouring of the anterior waters is not dangerous, is it often normal?
The fetal waters are indeed divided into anterior and posterior, but no matter where the rupture occurs, it is a gateway for infection.

10. What precedes a breakup?
By itself, the rupture of the membranes occurs painlessly and without any precursors.

Does the fact that in the morning they have to wake up early in order to be taken to a nursery or kindergarten affect the children? Children cry, get nervous, parents get annoyed, sometimes yell at them. How does all this affect the nervous system of the child? If a child has to wake up in the morning and he cries when he wakes up, of course, this injures him. Why doesn't he wake up at his usual time? Maybe the child had a different daily routine and he got up later? On those days when the baby goes to a nursery or kindergarten, he needs ...

Discussion

I try to take as much as possible with me everywhere. I never leave secretly. Even if the youngest is crying, I take her in my arms and sit with her, talking. If the categorical time comes to leave, I say, I love you very much, but I have to leave. And then I leave decisively. But in fact, most often it’s enough just to hug, sit with them, promise to come as soon as possible (if I leave for a long time, I say that it may seem to you that I left for a long time, but I will definitely return) They believe me. Because I don't sneak out. Switching to cartoons is also not bad, just switch to something, tell what they will do with the nanny without me ... By the way, it is very important who stays with them, maybe she doesn’t like that? We go to grandma only if we want to. And we stay as long as we want. But I tell how his relatives miss him, how they are waiting for him, how sorry and insulting they are that he is not going = at the same time I do not press. As a result, he decides (the youngest does not drive yet). But if you NEED to go, I say that it is necessary. Also think about what you say to her. Maybe you say something that he is afraid that you will leave her? Maybe give negative assessments of her behavior, or something like "I'm tired of you", "how I wish I had a rest", etc. I saw that children do not let their parents go when, for example, mom and dad have a bad relationship, they are afraid that their parents will part and dad or mom will leave forever because they hear them discuss the possibility of a break. Maybe she has someone already gone forever? Also an important question. There can be many reasons. It is important to find them and discuss with her. And then everything can change. Good luck.

Laris, how long ago did it start? Maya had such a period, though not for very long, but just when it was not at the cash desk at all :) I went to study at a driving school and then my child, who had previously stayed with the nanny without any problems, began to throw tantrums . Moreover, she was always very reasonable and it was possible to persuade her, but there was no way. She literally tore a sobbing child away from herself and ran away. The nanny said that after my departure she more or less calmed down, but not quite, i.e. the mood is still bad, she remembered her mother all the time, periodically whimpered, but did not sob, and that's okay. This disgrace continued for about 2-3 weeks, I don’t remember right now, then the nanny went on vacation, my classes ended, and for about three weeks we didn’t part with my daughter at all, tk. there was no one left. When the nanny returned, the problem was gone, again the child happily stayed with her. What it was, I really did not understand. The only reasonable explanation that comes to my mind is that before that we visited relatives for a couple of weeks and Maya didn’t remember me at all, the whole day with her aunt, then with her uncle, then with her sister. Apparently, upon arrival home, she finally decided to talk with her mother, and then her mother quits :) And, by the way, then similar behavior was repeated again after her grandmother came to visit. Also, Maya did not get off her grandmother, mother on the side. And after my grandmother's departure, she suddenly began to sob in the garden, although from the first day she always flew there like a bullet. This went on for a couple of weeks, then it went away. All these stories took place in her 2.5 years, then it didn’t seem to be like that.
Regarding Zhenya, it seems to me that after all, she now has an increased need for her mother due to the birth of her brother. Our addition is only expected, and Maya is waiting for her sister with great impatience, but I see that she has already begun to demand more attention. What I would try to do, if possible: push to all courses, fitness, kindergartens, and best of all, throw off my brother more often to my grandmother and try to talk with my daughter alone to the point of stupefaction :) So that she is already tired of her mother and she herself is somewhere to thread kicked out :)
It's all about the babysitter and the contact between her and the child.

Babysitting 3 days a week

Consider a new nanny. Some may distract the attention of the child, and some may not. I noticed this when I was looking for the first nanny (the child was just 1.5), then - when they tried to study with a speech therapist at 2 years old. It was like this with a speech therapist: she gives him a task - he does not do it. The nanny asks the same thing - does it. He doesn’t sit with a speech therapist without me, he sits with a nanny without me. The second nanny also immediately switched the attention of the child to herself and the mother is not really needed.

Why does a newborn cry often: 6 reasons. But no one mentions that any kind of crying is ultimately very exhausting. Of course, mom has enough intelligence and sympathy to understand ...

Discussion

You know, when my daughter went to kindergarten, our morning partings were like hell .. :) Very often she began to get sick, adenoids ..
Now we don’t go to the garden - where did the sores go???? Not a snot!! From this I concluded that parting with my mother is like a tragedy .. especially if I don’t like it in that place without my mother. This is really the real stress, the result of which is most likely the sores. I think the health and happiness of the child is more important ..
You need less stress. And the output to the light in this case be more careful. It also seems to me that there are children like yours and mine, they may need society differently than those children who happily run to kindergarten or developmental rooms. This cannot be ignored. Is your developer really necessary? Is our kindergarten really necessary?

We had this for about 3 years. Before I went to work, she also did not let me go anywhere, but when I went to work, she took it quite calmly. For several evenings I persuaded her not to go to work, but nothing more.
After I went out with my daughter, my grandmother began to sit and at the same time began to lead in a circle. There, all the children have been walking since autumn and quietly sitting alone. And they started taking Lizka in April - she sits in these classes and does not let her grandmother go anywhere. He does not even look at the teacher - he makes sure that the grandmother does not go anywhere. By May, she began to get a little distracted, but without her grandmother she still roared.

From the moment a child is born to the appearance of speech cry- this is the main way in which the baby tries to convey to us his desires and requests. Crying baby- this is his "" with you: this is how he reports what worries him. Proverb “Whatever the child amuses, if only she doesn’t cry” confirms the opinion of modern pediatricians. It's bad for babies to cry! It is this meaning that is embedded in the well-known proverb, and not the desire to occupy the child in any way, so long as it does not distract the parents.

Cry does not train the lungs and does not temper the character - forget about it! On the contrary, it loosens the nervous system of the crumbs and deprives him of the confidence that the world around him is safe and friendly. And also prolonged crying can be harmful to health child literally and cause the formation of an umbilical hernia.

Baby's first cry- this is the first cry of the baby after birth. The biological meaning of the first cry is to resist the separation from the mother, it is a message to the world about the protest against habitat change. A similar reaction occurs in some mammals, especially in young primates. One way or another, but by the first cry of a newborn, his viability is judged. The peculiarity of the first cry - loud, weak, sluggish - is a criterion for assessing the condition of the newborn. Babies cry a lot, but the more parents communicate with their child, the more they get to know each other, the less the duration, frequency and intensity of crying. During the day, the baby cries the most, usually between 4 and 8 pm.

Over time, you, like me in due time, will learn to distinguish all the multifaceted shades and intonations of your child's crying. So, why does a baby cry?

Why is the baby crying?

— Hunger or desire to take mother's breast (sucking reflex). The most frequent crying in the neonatal period. You will quickly learn to recognize it by its characteristic demanding shade. This cry, as a rule, is intermittent, it is separated by several pauses, during which the baby carefully observes your actions and decides whether they hear him or not. Usually " hungry cry” occurs no earlier than 2 hours after feeding, but no one guarantees that the baby will not want to eat mom out of turn.

— Crying because of a full diaper. Occurs less often than "hungry": my children, for example, did not pay attention to such trifles. However, some people clearly don't like it and may cry persistently. Such crying is usually plaintive.

- Crying "I want to sleep." Occurs after 3 months and not in all children. Crying "I want to sleep" is often a whimpering, petulant, or resentful yell. The kid is tired, he does not want to play anymore, or communicate, or look at anything, and demands to put him to bed. Rare babies are able to fall asleep on their own and, as a rule, need a special ritual of going to bed.

— Discomfort due to bright light, uncomfortable clothing, cold, loud sound. It is clear here that the mother must guess what the child is telling her about, and immediately eliminate the cause of discomfort.

— Fear due to the fact that mom is not around- the desire to snuggle up to mom, to feel protected.

— Reaction to weather changes. Toddlers are very sensitive to atmospheric phenomena and even the phases of the moon, they very subtly feel changes in atmospheric pressure, magnetic storms and other natural phenomena.

— Pain and physical ailments. Understand if it's not baby crying a consequence of some disease, only a doctor can. The specialist is well aware features of crying in children with intestinal colic, increased intracranial pressure, teething.

- The greatest problems are created by mothers in crying with intestinal colic. It is accompanied by intense clenching of the fists, straightening of the legs, reddening of the face. The kid then presses the legs to the tummy, then sharply straightens them (knocks). The abdomen is swollen. A whole range of measures to relieve intestinal colic will help here.

What to do when a child cries a lot?

It is necessary to respond to the crying of the baby as quickly as possible. Take it in your arms, shake it, attach it to your chest. In turn, eliminate all possible inconveniences. Need to calm the crying in any way possible. In the arms of the mother, the baby quickly calms down. But the mother herself must also remain calm so that her confidence is transferred to the baby. Soon you will easily be able to distinguish crying #1 from crying #8 :-)! By the way, trust the baby to dad more often. I noticed that my husband's son in his arms calmed down faster than mine. Apparently, men are less sensitive to baby crying and pass on their calmness and goodwill to the children. Do not be afraid that the baby will get used to the hands. Crying at this age is a reflection of a real problem. The baby is experiencing stress, so the task of parents is to alleviate his condition in all available ways. when the sleep-feed-wake pattern has been formed, reason for crying can be determined based on the time crying baby.

How to calm a crying baby?

7. Sing a lullaby or other song.

8. Distract with an unusual sound in your own performance: the sound of “Tr-r-r-r-rrrr!” Helped my children a lot. They were distracted and stopped crying instantly. True, the method did not last long, only about a month.

9. Put a breast pad soaked in breast milk in the crib or stroller for the baby. This will give the baby the feeling of a mother nearby.

10. Give a dummy, if, of course, he takes it.

11. Give some water to drink.

12. Rhythmically walk and sing at the same time. For the eldest son, it was a fail-safe method of getting to bed.

13. Give the child to dad, grandma, grandpa, etc. "Change hands", in a word.

14. Jump in front of him with a bunny. Helps older babies. As soon as Daniel started screaming, I asked the elder Emil to jump. The kid just laughed with delight!

15. Spin or sit down abruptly with the baby in your arms.

16. Bring the baby to the house plant. Living leaves and flowers will surely interest him.

17. Ride in a stroller, seat in a child seat.

18. Take it outside or onto the balcony if it's a warm season and you don't need to get dressed first.

19. Start the hanging mobile, let him see how the toys are spinning.

20. Even kids are interested in a lamp-projector of drawings with illumination on the ceiling. If you have one, use it at night.

21. If you suffer from colic, put the baby on your lap, putting a warm diaper, or wear it on your hands, placing your palm under the baby's tummy, and at this time the head lies on the crook of your elbow.

22. Instead of a warm diaper that cools down instantly, I used flax seed sewn into a linen bag. Iron it on both sides with an iron, the seeds retain heat for a very long time.

23. Massage the tummy clockwise, pull your knees to the tummy.

24. A warm bath can help.

25. If nothing helps to relieve colic in a child, put a gas outlet tube for the baby (it is better to use not a pharmacy version, but a small rubber bulb, which should be cut off the “ass”) and release the gas. This will 100% help.

What helped your child calm down quickly? Dear mothers, if you have your own methods, how to calm a child Be sure to write about them in the comments! Thank you very much!

In the first months of life, newborn babies still do not know how to talk, so they express all their claims with the help of crying. Loud cries signal that the baby is wet, he wants to sleep or is hungry.

However, it is often difficult to determine the exact cause of children's tears, and hearing the constant roar is unbearable. It is not surprising that many parents face an urgent question: how to quickly calm the baby when he cries?

Young mothers and fathers daily face the need to lull a crying baby to sleep. But they don't always succeed. We suggest listening to the recommendations of children's doctors, who call the first three months the "fourth trimester of pregnancy."

At this time, it is desirable to create conditions that would remind the baby of the prenatal period of development.

Feeling the familiar and safe environment, many children quickly calm down and stop crying.

Why is the baby crying?

Before talking about simple and effective ways, let's briefly talk about the possible reasons for his bad mood. The baby may cry because:

  • he is hungry;
  • frozen;
  • he's feeling hot;
  • he is tired;
  • experiencing fear, anxiety;
  • got a little sick;
  • he is uncomfortable in a wet diaper or diaper;
  • wants to go to the toilet;
  • requires mother's attention.

If the little ones continue to cry even after satisfying the above needs, try using the following recommendations from specialists.

How to soothe your baby - from birth to three months

Based on the theory of the "fourth trimester", pediatricians have developed several simple and effective methods to help calm newborn babies.

1. Swaddling

A crying and restless baby should be wrapped in a diaper or a soft blanket. It may seem to you that such a situation will cause your child some inconvenience, but experts are sure that small children feel calm, as if they are in their mother's stomach.

Frequently asked questions: how tightly should a newborn be swaddled? The answer is obvious - tight enough so that he cannot squirm, but at the same time you need to make sure that tight swaddling does not interfere with blood circulation.

2. Change of posture

Babies often cry when they are tired of lying on their backs. Try holding the baby in your arms while lying on your side or tummy. Changing position has a calming effect on children.

By the way, the pain from colic disappears if you lower the baby's head on the shoulder, and pressure on the stomach significantly reduces the discomfort from gases.

3. Rhythmic rocking

Place the newborn on your forearm so that his tummy touches your hand, and the baby's legs and arms hang freely. Hold your baby in this position and walk slowly around the room, rocking rhythmically.

At this moment, the baby experiences exactly the same sensations as in the mother's womb.

4. "White noise"

Being in the mother's belly, children constantly hear (or rather, feel) a variety of sounds coming from the organs of a pregnant woman. To reproduce the same noises, it is enough for the mother to hiss a little over the child's ear so that the child calms down.

Just do not do it very timidly, because you need the baby to hear you behind his own crying. You can also turn on a vacuum cleaner or a hair dryer in the distance.

5. Breast, bottle or nipple

It is no secret that newborn babies have a highly developed sucking reflex. Invite your offspring to suckle at the breast or bottle of formula if he is formula-fed.

If the baby is not hungry, look - perhaps the nipple will calm him down. Of course, many parents do not want the baby to get used to the dummy, but here you have to choose between two evils.

Try to consistently follow all these recommendations, and the baby will definitely calm down. Some babies need only a couple of points, others calm down only after all the manipulations have been completed.

How to calm a crying baby - after three months

However, the above tips often help when communicating only with newborns, but closer to the age of three months, the effectiveness of these methods is significantly reduced.

With older kids, the following recommendations from experts will come in handy.

1. Wearing in a sling

This method has much in common with rocking and swaddling. In many cultures of Asia and Africa, it has long been customary to wear babies in peculiar bandages. Now this fashion has come to us.

Children love to lie in slings, because they can cuddle up to their beloved mother. By placing the baby in a backpack, you can go to the store, go for a walk, while calming the crying baby.

By the way, on the street, to all the pluses, “white noise” coming from transport will also be added.

2. Light massage

Mom's touch can work wonders: relieve stress, help to relax. Moreover, many children are very fond of tactile sensations. Undress the baby, stroke his arms, legs, back and stomach so that he feels your caress and tenderness.

Many experienced mothers note that massage helps to calm a crying baby and put him to sleep. Try massaging your baby, and you will see that after three or four minutes, he will stop crying and begin to follow your actions.

3. Belching

A crying and screaming baby can swallow a lot of excess air. Because of this, he develops tummy discomfort, so he starts crying even harder.

Lift your baby up and place his head on your shoulder to burp air. However, be prepared that this will stain your clothes.

4. Switching attention

Three-month-old babies can already fix their eyes on bright, attractive objects or be distracted by extraneous noise. Try to rustle the bag next to the baby, shake the rattle, turn on the music.

In this case, the child's attention instantly switches to new things, the baby immediately calms down, stops crying and begins to study with interest the object that has appeared in his field of vision.

Another option is to change the situation, for example, go outside and show the little one a cat or a dog.

5. Joint dance

Soft dance moves are also an effective way to soothe a crying baby. Take it in your arms, hold it firmly and begin to sway to a calm melody.

By the way, you yourself can sing your favorite lullaby. If this pace does not suit the little screamer, move a little faster. After several attempts, you will definitely find the right lulling rhythm.

Of course, these are basic, but far from exhaustive recommendations to help calm crying children. Try different methods to find the perfect fit for your little one.

If all else fails, and your child continues to cry, do not raise your voice at him.

Remember that a baby can show his character in this way or just be capricious. Do not consider yourself a bad mother, because from time to time all babies give their parents "concerts" with screams and tears. This is not your fault and it will soon pass!

Other related information


  • Whims and tantrums! What to do?

There is nothing surprising or supernatural in the fact that a newborn baby cries. Even more: if the baby does not cry at all, then perhaps you should worry. But when the baby screams angrily for several hours in a row, and it doesn’t work to calm him down, then even the most persistent ones lose their nerves: at first, the parental heart breaks from the inability to help the baby, then moms and dads plunge into a state of despair and irritation. Well, how long can this go on?!

Unfortunately, many newborn babies cry languidly and for a long time. There are a huge number of factors that cause the crying of a child disturbing the soul and heart. However, they, in the sense of factors, can often be identified and eliminated, henceforth preventing a repetition of the situation. And this is the first thing to start with if you are faced with such a problem: to find the cause of baby crying.

Why is the baby crying?

Absolutely all pediatricians agree that a newborn baby does not cry just like that, because there is nothing to do. There is always a reason for this, and infant crying is always a baby's signal of trouble and his cry for help in the truest sense of the word.

If we summarize all the probable causes of children's crying, then we can distinguish 3 "basic" ones: hunger, malaise, discomfort.

With the first factor, everything should be more or less clear: the feeling of hunger or thirst forces the baby to “shout” at his mother, expressing his desire. Usually such crying contains a pronounced demanding note.

As for the other two reasons, there are a lot of options when a child cries if he is unwell or if he is ill. Most often, such crying is caused by:

  • abdominal pain, colic;
  • stomatitis;
  • earache;
  • headache and other ailments;
  • skin contact with moisture, feces;
  • irritation of the skin and mucous membranes (including in the mouth);
  • heat/cold;
  • nervous or emotional overexcitation;
  • fatigue, fear, fright;
  • need for communication.

So, the algorithm of actions and the answer to the question of how to calm a newborn baby should be clear: find the cause of crying and eliminate it. But it's not always easy...

Find and eliminate the cause of discomfort

It would seem: hungry - feed, cold - dress warmer. But no: the child seems to be full and dry, and should be cheerful, but bursts into screams and tears the mother's heart to pieces!

Understanding what makes a baby suffer so much is sometimes difficult. Some experienced mothers who have already fed more than one cub or are simply very attentive and sensitive to their baby, by their peculiar signs and even the nature of crying, are able to determine what is wrong. If you are having difficulty with this, then here are some tips from the life experiences of other mothers and many years of pediatric practice:

  1. If a child cries at approximately the same time (mainly in the evenings), kicks his legs, presses them to his tummy, then he is almost certainly tormented by colic. With colic, crying is sudden, sharp, immediately loud, it can be intermittent (calm down for a while, and then resume) or continuous.
  2. Crying after feeding suggests that the child's gastrointestinal tract is not coping well with the digestion of food, or, most likely, that the baby swallowed air during feeding: the tummy was swollen with gases. Try to prevent the baby from swallowing air (make sure that it grabs the nipple correctly), do a massage, put the baby on the tummy (but not immediately after feeding!), Wear it vertically (“column”).
  3. When the baby swallows the breast with appetite and immediately, after the first sip, starts with a sharp piercing cry, then inflammation of the middle ear (that is, otitis media) or inflammatory processes in the oral cavity (stomatitis, sore throat) should be suspected. But very often the reason is more harmless: a clogged nose, because of which the baby cannot breathe during feeding. However, in this case, crying also differs “in character”: it is more capricious than painful, as in the first version.
  4. If the child was naughty at first for some time and only then really burst into tears, then, most likely, some kind of discomfort became the cause of indignation: a wet diaper, an overflowing diaper, pressing scars or folds on clothes, stuffiness in the room (the child’s face may turn red , sometimes body temperature rises), bright lights or annoying sounds. It is necessary to learn to recognize such whimpers and eliminate the cause of discomfort before the baby bursts into tears.
  5. When the baby freezes, he behaves opposite to the previous case: at first he cries loudly, and then more and more “sluggishly” and “lazy”. Often, a frozen baby also begins to hiccup.
  6. Crying due to pain during teething is very often accompanied by profuse salivation. In addition, the baby uses every opportunity to scratch his gums (nibbles “everything in a row”), and the behavior of the crumbs will help to tell his mother about this very reason for crying: he pulls his ear, grabs his earlobe, and can even hit him with his palm.
  7. In a similar way, babies behave with headaches: they grab their head and hit themselves on the head with their hands. Such pains often occur in newborns with changes in atmospheric pressure.
  8. When the child is hungry, his crying becomes prolonged, he can also pull his arms forward.

The child may be disturbed by other factors. But if you notice the development of painful symptoms in him (cough, nasal discharge, fever, diarrhea, etc.), then you need to call a doctor immediately!

In all other cases, start looking for the cause with the most obvious: provide a normal microclimate in the room, eliminate all annoying factors, feed and pay attention. Often, babies cry for this reason, too, because they just want to talk to their mother.

Fight against colic

Since quite a few babies suffer from colic and suffer quite a lot, this issue should be given a little more attention. We recommend that you study this topic separately - more information will only benefit young parents. And within the framework of our topic, we will focus only on the most common and effective methods of dealing with infantile colic:

  • Warm. There are many ways to warm a painful tummy: attach the baby to your stomach, put heat on the tummy locally (this can be a heating pad, a diaper ironed with a hot iron or a warm scarf). Even light rubbing with the palm of your hand will warm the area.
  • Massage. You can ask a baby masseur or pediatrician to show you some techniques for relieving colic in babies, or find an instructional video online. The simplest and most effective is to give the baby a frog pose by connecting the feet together and spreading the legs bent at the knees. This massage helps a lot: move your palm around the navel clockwise, slightly pressing your hand to the tummy and gradually increasing the diameter of its movement.
  • Gymnastics. There are many exercises that contribute to a better discharge of gas: raise the legs bent at the knees to the tummy and gently press them to the stomach, lay the baby in a “frog” position.
  • special drink. Talk to your pediatrician about dill or fennel water. Perhaps the doctor will recommend you special drugs that eliminate children's colic and gaziki.
  • emotional peace. According to one version, colic occurs more often and more strongly in children of very suspicious mothers. They can also cause various stresses, shocks, fears - try to remove the baby from everything negative. By the way, a common cause of children's crying is the vulnerable nervous system of the child. It is better not to leave such children with a loudly working or brightly flickering TV, do not talk in his presence in raised tones, do not violate the daily routine and try in every possible way to provide him with emotional peace.
  • Breast-feeding. Scientifically and practically proven fact that breastfed babies are less likely to suffer from colic and tolerate them more easily. Try to breastfeed your baby for as long as possible.
  • Diet. Many foods can cause gas formation in an infant, and therefore a nursing mother should exclude them from the diet. These are cabbage, legumes, radishes, turnips, mushrooms, grapes, apples, pears, etc. Often, babies do not react well to dairy products and fresh pastries.

The best remedy!

Breastfeeding is recognized as the best and most beneficial that a mother can give to her child. It not only provides the baby with ideal nutrition, but also protects against many diseases and soothes better than any other remedy.

Every baby feels good, calm, protected and comfortable under the mother's breast. He feels the smell of her body, warm gentle touches and reliable hugs, soothing bewitching heart rhythm, and also satisfies his physiological need for sucking. Unless the cause of crying is damage to the oral cavity or ear pain, then you will not find the best sedative for a newborn. Don't skimp on intimacy - offer your baby the breast whenever he feels the need for it, regardless of the frequency and duration of attachments.

The Harvey Karp Method - The Five Ps Rule

If for some reason you cannot breastfeed your baby, then you are less fortunate. However, in some way, a pacifier can replace a breast. Holding the baby in her arms and giving him a pacifier, the mother will provide almost the same conditions that were discussed above. If you don't mind a pacifier, then perhaps you share the theory of renowned pediatrician Harvey Karp on how to soothe a newborn baby.

The pediatrician believes that by caring for an infant in a certain way, we can help him adapt to new living conditions and thereby ensure a state of calm and comfort. It occurs in conditions as close as possible to those in which the baby grew and developed inside the mother's womb for 9 months. After birth, his environment changes dramatically, which cannot but leave its marks on the psyche, well-being and behavior of the baby. A child is not born ready for such changes, and therefore Karp calls the first few months of a newborn's life the fourth trimester of pregnancy..

During this time, the child needs to recreate the conditions in which he is used to being and in which he feels good: these are the noises and sounds surrounding him (the beat of the mother's heart, the flow of blood through the veins, the movement of food through the mother's esophagus, etc.), the boundaries that constrain his habitat (the mother's womb is rather cramped and compact), the satisfaction of the sucking reflex, vibration and swaying (which he experiences while walking and moving by his mother).

Therefore, the doctor suggests following the rule of five "P":

  1. swaddle newborn;
  2. empty do not neglect;
  3. wiggle to calm down;
  4. habitual sounds also help to calm down and fall asleep;
  5. position on the stomach or on the side - the best for the child.

If you like the theory of Dr. Karp, then you should read it in detail.

Calm down yourself

And, of course, the most important thing: if you are trying to calm the child, then, first of all, you need to calm down yourself. No matter how unrealistic this task may seem, while being with a baby, you must be calm and confident. The connection between mother and child lasts long enough, and babies feel very much the state of their mother. If you are excited, frustrated, frightened, depressed, or experiencing any other conflicting feelings, even if you are confused and desperate because of a child's crying, then the child will certainly feel it. Pull yourself together, take life easier and exude love for your child.

Let your baby not cry often and much!

Especially for - Elena Semenova