When parents are against a relationship. Why are parents interfering with your relationship and what to do about it? The question is answered by the psychologist Bogutskaya Olesya Anatolyevna

Marina Nikitina

Fathers and children are a problem of all times and peoples. How often parents are against the relationship of not yet fully grown children with the opposite sex! This happens for a thousand reasons, let's look at a few of the most common ones.

Are you young and in love? Are your parents against your relationship? This situation is familiar to 90% of young girls and boys. How exciting these meetings with a loved one are and how long they have been waiting for, but the older family members unexpectedly join the game. They unobtrusively or harshly, depending on what kind of ancestors someone has, express an active negative position in relation to a loved one.

Reasons for the negative attitude of the boyfriend's (girl's) parents towards you and what to do about it

After an emotional encounter with their parents, they are usually against pursuing romantic dates for one of these reasons. Young people have only one question in their heads: "What if the parents are against our relationship?" Let's figure out what to do when one of the presented cases occurs:

Disagreeing views on modern culture, life, manner of speaking, dressing.

Advice: Respect your preferences in fashion, music, traditions. If the old patterns of behavior of the parents of a loved one seem stupid to you, do not go too far. Neither of the parties in such cases has the right to impose their own thoughts on the other, force them to dress differently, listen to classical and not rock music. But also from your side, do not allow attacks, and even more so do not quarrel.

Jealousy of parents, unwillingness to let go of their chick.

Advice: if you managed to see such a motive for the behavior of parents, then you have enough understanding to behave like an adult and explain that their sweet girl (this item is unlikely to apply to boys) has matured. The main thing is that the word “matured” is pronounced in the correct context, otherwise you will achieve the opposite result. Clarify what exactly the girl has matured for. Hint: not for living together (unless, of course, you are not going to live separately yet), but for responsibility, for example.

Challenging behavior, makeup, clothing.

Advice: when meeting with the parents of the other side, the girls paint moderately, they don’t wear the shortest skirt, they don’t chew gum during a conversation, and the boys come without crazy outfits, without mohawks.

If you have a lot of earrings or tattoos, things get more complicated. In this case, there are two options: the first - the girl also has a similar appearance, which upsets her parents so much, the second - on the contrary, she looks like a sweet gentle creature in a dress and you together are like two opposites.

In the first case, you and your girlfriend have a common problem, discuss it together, and in the second, think about how to less shock her parents, this is too much of a contrast for them.

The mom / dad of your lover or beloved realized that you fantasized half of what was told.

An interesting situation: you wanted to look your best, you came up with a lot of flattering things about yourself, but they got you through. Advice: since you are close to completely disqualifying you as a future bride / groom and a reliable prudent person, you will have to go all-in.

So tell them you embellished a little to please them.

If it turns out that in fact the parents of the girl / boyfriend did not notice the lie, you are in an unenviable situation, because now they have several questions for you, despite the fact that there were no questions before the incident. You should not be upset, because now you can say that you cannot lie to such good people (any positive quality is inserted here: kind, sympathetic, loving parents ...) to people, and so on.

After the start of the relationship, your partner has changed, so it seems to relatives that their child is badly influenced, that their bloodline got into “bad company”.

You and your parents have different ideas about good girls / boys.

Such a result of your acquaintance happens when the upbringing, traditions of your families are very different. For example, they are strictly convinced that first you need to get married, and before that you can't even kiss. Advice: let them not know the details of the relationship and pastime. Find better topics that are pleasant for them and communicate.

You were so incomprehensible that they got scared, they themselves decided for themselves that they didn’t want to let their daughter go (sometimes this also applies to sons) to walk in the company with a strange person for them.

Tip: the same as in the previous paragraph. Don't shock them even more, better calm them down, develop their far-fetched opinion of you.

Advice: if the point is parental excessive attachment, then nothing can be advised here, because you will not change your parents so drastically. First of all, your beloved should talk to her mom and dad herself. If they do not like the very idea that a daughter is becoming an adult and her suitors appear, then the claim is not personal to you. Take good care of their daughter / son, keep your promises and in a couple of months they will melt.

Parents who adhere to traditions are already looking for what they say is a profitable party for their beloved daughter / son.

Tip: This problem is not so easy for you to solve alone. Let the one for whom this party is being selected also take care of the permit. It is easier to communicate with your parents than with strangers.

You are a relaxed, addicted person, even if you have not yet fully formed your opinion about the world around you, but open to everything new, and the parents of your soulmate are conservative.

Tip: Ask about your parents' hobbies, rather than flaunting yours. According to the thoughts of Dale Carnegie, who gave advice on how to be nice to people, everyone loves being interested in their person, this is captivating.

Why are your parents against it?

If your parents are against dating, it's understandable that you are upset and resentful, but it's best to pull yourself together and analyze the situation first. In any case, it is useful to do it for the future, because life often consists of different situations. Some reasons coincide with those listed above, because all parents have something in common, namely, the presence of children of problem age, but solutions may be different.

What causes negative attitudes from your parents:

If your parents' mom and dad raised them in severity, they may well transfer this model of behavior to their children (for the most part, this point applies to daughters).

Example: your handsome boyfriend is four years older, and you want to walk with him longer, or even stay for a party that he throws at home. Your dear parents are worried about their daughter's reputation, fear of an alleged unwanted pregnancy, bad habits, or some kind of danger they feel from any partying. The only way out is to explain to them that you are prudent. Make sure to actually show that you are serious and behave accordingly.

It appears when parents want to totally control and manage their children.

Example: Mom asks her son every day what he talked about with his girlfriend, and when she didn't like what, she forbade her to meet with her. This state of affairs will not arise if the parents are not aware of every step of the beloved grown child, reduce the amount of information given to the mother.

Say that it is unlikely that you will be able to learn from someone else's experience and other people's mistakes, so you want to draw conclusions yourself.

Your parents decided that you were being negatively influenced by your boyfriend (your girlfriend).

Do not argue, because your loved one influences you, but how can you do without it? But how do you explain to your family that influence is positive and makes you happier? You shouldn't get into such confused explanations. Try to tell that some acquaintances and friends influence you by a bad example more than your sweet girlfriend (caring guy), thanks to whom (whom) you understood what to strive for, appears, learn, and so on.

Parents themselves select a wealthy bride (rich groom).

Appeal to the prudence of parents, remind you what age is in the yard - the age of nano-technology, explain that the pace of life has accelerated, the aspirations of young people have changed, and notice that it is inhumane to force people to marry of convenience and this contributes to unhappiness, and not vice versa. Loving mom and dad will understand this wording.

The main rule for building relationships with parents (with your own and with strangers): if you promised to do something, do it exactly and on time; when talking about your culture, reliability, politeness, show these qualities. Avoid wordless promises and empty stories, develop consistency and honesty, then it will turn out to convince them. Watch your heart.

March 21, 2014 11:59 am

Hello, I am 25 years old, my girlfriend is 23, We have been dating for a year, but we have known each other for 2 years (then I mined her for a year, in the end I achieved it). Everything was superb, like in a romantic fairy tale. But then the problems started. Her parents opposed our relationship. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I have a good job, higher education, from a normal family, I have everything to marry, etc. But her parents are against, according to her they say that they don’t know him, what he does, who he is, and from what family, etc. shorter against. And at this tense time, when I did not understand why this was so, she tells me that the feeling was gone and no longer loves me. Well, I'm charmed, but I understand that it is her emotions. They melted. A month passed, I called her, they got out and made up, she's so, I'm a fool, I'm sorry, she didn't know what she was doing, etc. In general, she promised to talk to her parents again, but it takes time. Then they started secretly meeting for about 4 months until she decided. Everything was fine with us, everything was superb in our relations, then I slightly forced her to talk to her parents, set her up to adequately tell everything about us, she went to talk as a lady, the result is the same, the parents don’t know who I am, in short same. I then decided to meet my father, I say that I am ready to meet with her guardians, so that they know who I am, etc., but she does not want this, she is categorically against it and says that it will not help. And I don’t know what to do, and it got to the point that we want to grow up. Now we are not meeting, she does not want more secretly. She says that she is already tired of this, that she loves but wants to part, but I do not want and do not understand. All conversations end up being quarrels. She wants to part, and I'm letting go. In general, we are not talking now.
Tell me what to do and what to do, what to do?

Good day!

Of course, it is very difficult to leave for reasons not related to your relationship with the girl. Her parents have their own reasons for not wanting to get to know you, it can be different mentality, cultural characteristics, or maybe they have their own vision of the chosen one of their daughter. This is their right. In this situation, the position of your girl is more surprising. She is 23 years old, but she completely depends on the opinions and desires of her parents. The question arises, is she psychologically matured for relationships, what makes her go on about the desires of others? Perhaps she is financially dependent, for example, if she is paid for her studies, or if she is promised some kind of material support in the future. In short, has she matured enough to separate from her parents? If she does not want to go against the prohibitions of her parents, then what is behind this? If fear, then fear of what? The girl does not say something. Unfortunately, these are the girl's problems, not yours.
« Tell me what to do and what to do, how to be? " - here the choice is not so great. You may not let her go any longer, but will this bring you both happiness? You can also take a break in the relationship, wait for the girl to "mature" for an independent life. It is best for the girl to seek psychological support from a specialist. And, also, you yourself can end the relationship, although you will have to go through the loss of a partner, burn out, in order to continue looking for a partner ready for a relationship. But no one can make a choice for you, it must be your decision.

Sincerely,

Furkulica Elena Kuzminichna, psychologist Chisinau

Good answer 1 Bad answer 1

Are your parents opposed? In this article, we highlight and explore several important relationship issues. How to build relationships with relatives when you are going to start a family? What will civil marriage lead to?

How do people imagine relationships with each other, parents and children, husband and wife, and relationships in general in the broadest sense of the word? Our problem is that almost everyone thinks that they should be made happy, and they shouldn't put in any effort. The attitude that we should be given happiness sits very deeply in our heads. But we need to tune in to the fact that we must deserve happiness, then both its feeling and our soul mate will be even closer to us.

Only people in love can experience happiness without any effort, but this is not an unlimited supply of happiness! This will not always continue, but in a state of euphoria, no one takes this into account. We have a very strong desire not to build relationships, but to spend while they are pleasant to us. Real family happiness will be only when people learn and try to give themselves to another, to make the other happy, not themselves.

The foundation of a relationship with parents

For example, we are going to build a house, what will be the foundation of the house? The foundation, the whole house rests on the foundation. But at the same time, there must be good soil under the foundation, if you put the foundation on a pile of sand, then your house will last for a year, and then it will skew, and maybe it will fall on its side. You’re probably thinking: what does the house and foundation have to do with it when we came to read about relationships? And this is a very vivid example of building strong family relationships.

For example, a girl fell in love with a guy, and the guy started spinning with her too. My daughter comes home and declares: "Mom, dad, I love him, I can't live without him!" Mom and Dad are in tears: “How so! Our girl! Wonderful charming woman! Loves someone there! " In general, I am exaggerating, but the general meaning of the situation is as follows. My daughter is also in tears: “Oh, like that! That's it, I'm going to him. " In this situation, the parents are initially against this relationship between a guy and a girl. The daughter loses with her parents or relatives, if not contacts, then close and trusting relationships. So this is what my example about the house was for - in order to create a strong family union, you first need to create a strong foundation, otherwise the family will then have nothing to build on. And the foundation consists just of a good attitude of parents to this union.

How to avoid parental negativity?

Now let's take a closer look at how to avoid such situations, and correctly adjust the attitude of parents towards your family. First you need to understand that your parents love you very much and practically, as all loving people experience jealousy. They raised and educated you for many years. For example, a woman is by nature inclined to adapt to people, not wanting or noticing it. Accordingly, the daughter has been adjusting to her parents for many years, in other words, she copies them, it may not necessarily be a worldview and lifestyle, but even some little things, habits. In general, a woman adapts not only to her parents, but to people with whom she communicates closely.

What are parents afraid of losing?

It has long been known that by copying the gestures of the interlocutor, you can instill in him your point of view, which he will later pass off as his own. Not to mention the fact that you have the interlocutor towards you, and he begins to sympathize with you very much. People like to be copied (not too intrusive, of course), imitate them, they feel like idols. To summarize, it turns out that parents really like that children copy them, and over the years they just get used to this state of affairs.
For example, if you are very calm about your partner - you like him, but this does not obscure your eyes, then mom calms down, she has a feeling that you still love her more. In this situation, she will say that she likes this relationship and that she really likes the chosen one of her daughter and that he is clearly a good guy. And if you have a crush on your ears, you cannot sleep or eat without him, then you involuntarily begin to speak in his phrases, support and voice his thoughts and stuff like that. In such a situation, mom or dad will say that they do not like him, somehow you began to behave differently, something strange is happening, they are against such a relationship, etc. Therefore, parents need to be prepared, so to speak, to satisfy them, to calm them down, because this is a great experience for parents.

Meet the parents

A very important stage is the acquaintance of the parents with the chosen one or the chosen one, because if something goes wrong and the parents are not satisfied with this acquaintance, they may simply hate your soul mate. If the mother begins to bristle and "run over", then there is no need to react to this, calmly takes this, understanding the initial roots of such behavior. To "evil mother-in-law", no matter how strange it may seem, you need to be kind and not respond to her insults, thereby calming the situation in the family.

Protection by birth

And one more component of a good foundation. It is required that the future husband and wife announce an insistent request to their parents in the following form: "Mom, dad, I know that you love me, but I want you to protect my soul mate, not me, in our relationship!" This must be done for the well-being of the future family, since some troubles will still arise in the relationship, but if your parents protect your soul mate, and not you, then your family is protected by birth! And then there will be no such options when, for example, the wife takes the children under her arm and goes to her mother, thereby humiliating her husband's dignity. Or the husband will not be able to complain to his mother about his wife, and then the mother-in-law will always treat her daughter-in-law well. But don't forget that this is just the foundation.

Civil marriage

When people live in a civil marriage for some time, they lose trust in each other, because trust is lost in a situation where you do not know whether you will sign or not, it may seem that this is a trifle and stupidity, but it is! And first of all, a woman's trust disappears, because she does not feel either reliability in her partner, or respect for herself from him and from his relatives. Therefore, you need to avoid such situations, dot the "i" in time.

Faith Hope Love

Remember the well-known trinity: "Faith, Hope, Love?" So, at first, a woman has a hope that they will be with this man to a ripe old age, having previously married (on the one hand, this is quite logical if they began to live together). Hope is followed by faith in this person. Deep love follows faith. When a woman, having lived for some time with a man, maybe even throwing a couple of fishing rods about marriage, begins to think something, then love ends first in such a situation. Then faith in a person passes. And hope, as they say, is the last to die. That's it - this couple has no future anymore!

You need to try to build the right relationship from the very beginning, then you can create a happy, strong family.

Now, in general terms, you can understand why you need to try to invest in a relationship. Building relationships must initially be correct. “You can't build happiness on other people's bones,” especially on parental ones. The only proof of a man's true love for a woman will be a marriage proposal. All this must be understood and remembered. Knowledge is power. By acquiring knowledge, you gain the power to make happy your loved ones, and, accordingly, yourself.

8 comments

The question often arises of what to do if parents are against a relationship with a guy: what to do in this case? Indeed, more than one hundred books have already been written on the topic of the relationship between parents and children. This is especially true of the romantic period of dating a young girl with a boyfriend. Even such famous characters as Romeo and Juliet have experienced parental misunderstandings.

Parents do not allow dating a guy: why does this happen?

Almost every father and mother will agree that choosing a groom is the prerogative of their daughter. After all, it is she who will have to live with him, and not at all the worried parents. But why, then, on this basis, conflicts often arise, with what is it connected? After all, this behavior of parents can. This can negatively affect the psyche of the girl.

In fact, do not forget that there is no smoke without fire. Parents may know something more, if not about the guy himself, then about his family. The older generation has much more experience in such matters, so their opinion should not be neglected. Older people can already at the first meeting understand that something is wrong with this guy.

It is important to remember that the girl can be located, so she does not always notice what the other person sees. Parents can pay attention to those shortcomings of the daughter's alleged groom, to which she simply turns a blind eye. But on the other hand, they may also have overestimated requirements for a young person. There is nothing wrong with that, because they want only the best for their daughter.

Reasons why parents are often against girl-boy relationships

Having carefully figured out what to do when parents oppose a relationship with a guy, you can come to the following conclusions:

1. Often parents parents forbid dating a boyfriend, as they think that it is too early for their daughter to think about an "adult" relationship. Especially if she is under 18 years old. But if a man is much older than a girl, then it scares even outsiders. After all, he can take advantage of the naivety, if not of a teenager, then of a girl, who does not assume how such a relationship can end.

2. Many parents do not perceive the substantial age difference even in cases when the girl is an adult, and her chosen one has crossed the 30-year mark. The fact is that such a difference in age does not seem entirely natural. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with this, but each case must be considered individually, and the daughter must find an approach to her parents and talk frankly with them.

3. The guy's dark past can also be frightening. This also needs to be remembered. Older people may know better how an alliance with a former drug addict or someone who broke the law will end.

And these are just some of the reasons why parents do not always perceive their daughter's chosen one positively.

What if your parents won't let you date your boyfriend?

In some cases, older people can really go too far. For example, they may think this guy should be educated or financially secure. And it happens that the girl herself creates a cause for concern (especially if the young lady began to return home too late, started drinking or dropped out of school). In this case, the girl herself is to blame for the fact that her boyfriend does not like her parents.

But in any case, the daughter should not only listen to her dad and mom, but also try to understand them. It happens that they are not ready to give her more freedom. This behavior of parents is quite natural, so the girl must explain to them that she is no longer a child and has reached the age of majority (of course, if this is true).

In this case, if the guy's parents are against, the girl should:

  • - Choose the right time to seriously talk with your parents;
  • - find something in common between them and the guy (for example, the guy loves football or fishing, like his father).

At the same time, there is no need to fight with the parents, or blackmail them, as this will lead to even worse consequences. But if a girl really loves a guy, then you can “compete” with her parents for him.

However, this recommendation is "relevant" only for relatively adult adults. In adolescence, it is still better to follow the advice of parents, because they have "in their arsenal" not only experience, but also life wisdom.

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Comments (1)

  • What if our parents forbid us to date a guy because he has a health problem (mild epilepsy)? However, this does not in any way prevent him from leading a full life. He is 21 years old, he has a job, of course he doesn't have his own home, but he lives alone with his mother. I know that the problem of health is also a matter of future children. But medicine does not stand still and you can find a way out of any situation. Only now my parents do not want to accept this alignment. It got to the point that my mother threatened the police, forbade even thinking about him ... I really am ready for anything for the sake of my beloved, except for breaking off relations with my parents. After all, parents are sacred. We have been tormented by secret meetings for more than a year now. Uncertainty kills from within. What should we do? (I'm 19, guy 21)

    To answer
  • I have such a situation, I dated guys for 2 years, then we broke up due to many reasons, 4 months passed and we started dating again, but the whole family is against our relationship, I don’t know what to do, tell me

    To answer
  • I HAVE SUCH A STORY. I'm 34 years old. I have a child of 9 years old from another person with whom I do not live. I met a charming guy. He was 5 years younger than me. We met for half a year, everything went VERY GOOD, LIKE IN A FAIRY TALE. Many people liked my boyfriend, who knew him. He was cheerful, hard-working. I’m not saying that he also had shortcomings, but they were insignificant. He came to spend the night with me. His parents liked him. But half a year later, an unexpected turning point came. Parents sharply forbade us to meet at my house. They were looking for some more absurd reasons. My parents told me to rent an apartment, that there are women like me, they pull both an apartment and a child, and dress well, etc. But in our city it is difficult to find a high-paying job. I liked my job, I am a good specialist, but I could not afford an apartment for a salary, especially with a child. The guy also earned a little, and I was afraid to live with someone, I was afraid of family problems. We began to meet on the street, at the entrance, ..., in the winter. We rented a room for an hour a couple of times. Sometimes he invited me to his home, but this was rare, because he lives with his mom in a dorm room. At home, I started constantly swearing over little things. My child began to get sick more often. My health deteriorated, I turned black, my hair began to fall out, weakness appeared, for which I could not find a reason. But we continued to meet. We met like this for 8 months more. Parents were always unhappy that I was meeting with him.

    To answer
  • But then came an even worse moment. The guy offended me, I didn't talk to him, but then he asked for forgiveness and I forgave him. They began to meet again. But somehow my father found out about this offense and forbade me to meet with him categorically. My father began to pursue me everywhere, to interfere with our meetings. He started picking me up everywhere by car. The guy made appointments for me, but I couldn't come. And one day the meeting did not take place again, because my father took me by car so that I didn't meet with him and on this basis I had a nervous breakdown, I opened the car door 2 times when she was driving, but it was not suicide, I was just in despair, there was a psychosis. But the next day I came to my senses. I tried to calm down. But my father, without my knowledge, declared to me in the psychiatric hospital that I was a suicide. I was taken to the hospital, kept for 2 months, injected with terrible drugs, that I almost literally did not die from them, ruined my health, I gained enough weight from the drugs, but I did not see the effect of calming from them, I just slept. Leaving the hospital, the guy found me. I decided not to meet with him because of my father's inhibitions, although I loved him very much. The guy offered to meet in secret, looked for meetings. But they did not succeed in meeting in secret. Even if we did meet, my father would come to that place and had to leave. I started having sexual disorders on this basis. My father began to persecute me even more severely. He came to my work every hour to see if my boyfriend came there. Picked up from work, called, listened to phone calls ... My father said that I was sick. If he sees me with that guy, he will push me back to the psychiatric hospital and will not take me out of there anymore. I have not met the guy already, I sent him, although I loved him. But my father did not believe, every day he cursed me, called me names, did not let me go anywhere, even to the store, everywhere he drove with me in the car, went to the store, counted my money. He said that I did not care about my child, although I was constantly worried about my son, especially about his health, I went to hospitals with him. My son is an excellent student at school. Father controlled everything. This went on for a year. Then the unexpected happened. My boyfriend abruptly left for another city for several years due to unexpected circumstances for him. For some reason, I began to look better. I decided to go to a fortune teller and find out about all this. She said she was targeting me with separation damage at a Muslim cemetery (my boyfriend is Muslim) and was targeting her by his mother, the boy was "SEALED" from me. She also said that another girl put a “spoilage on beauty” on me. Now he is in another city and communicates with the same girl.

    And I have such a situation ...
    Yes, I understand everything perfectly, I'm 14 (soon 15), and my boyfriend is 18.
    He is very good. Does not drink, does not smoke, does not use. The only thing is swearing. Well, that's okay. So that's the story itself.
    My parents are generally against my contact with the opposite sex. About the relationship, I generally keep quiet. So, last night, my sister found my Instagram account and showed it to my parents. At that moment I was "asleep" and woke up just at the very moment when my sister was showing all this. I heard my parents talk about what they said how I walked * ha and that in the morning I will get a luli. Now, I'm at home alone. I have no idea what to do. I warned him about it. And also, my parents said that I would leave him, and if I don't, they will leave him for me. And ... I just don't understand ... He is my only support. And he proved to me his love and loyalty more than once.
    Why? Why can't love nowadays? Is it bad to love? Is it a sin to love? I remember how my parents beat me when in the 5th grade they found my love notes in notebooks, when I was in love with my classmate. I beg you, help…. I don’t know what to do….

    To answer

ONLINE CONSULTATION

My parents are against my girlfriend!

Hello Rauf. I broke up with a girl with whom I was 2 years old and I can’t forget her in any way. I would like to consult with you.

R.M. [In contact with]

Ok, then tell me why you broke up?

My parents are totally against my girlfriend. For the last year, the girl and I often fought over them, she blamed me for the fact that I could not convince them in her favor. Although I tried to do everything.

R.M.

Why are your parents against it?

My mom has a complicated personality.

R.M.

If your mother put the question radically - either she (your mother), or your girlfriend, and at the same time in no way - who would you choose?

It seems to me that the girl, as parents, they still have to understand and forgive me. I don’t want to choose between them, they are dear to me, but I blamed them to some extent for the fact that I broke up with my girlfriend. I didn't seem to want to move away from them, but it turned out like that by itself.

R.M.

If a girl feels that she really did not like the boyfriend's mom, then in order for the relationship to develop normally and for her to feel normal, she must understand who you prefer in a pinch (and you actually have such a case), she must be sure that you are in In any case, you will go against the opinion of your parents and she will be number 1 for you, and they will be number 2. Apparently your girlfriend did not feel this.

How can I fix all this? This is very important for me, because I want to connect my life with it. And if I still have to make a choice and choose a girl, will my parents put up with it and understand everything that I should choose who to be with?

R.M.

Whether your parents understand or not, I don't know - maybe they will, or maybe not. If your mom was against it, then she is unlikely to easily change her mind. But you must understand one very important thing - there are many issues in which the opinion of parents is worth listening to. But the choice of the girl does not apply to these issues. It is exclusively your choice and nobody else's. Parents, of course, can express their opinion on this matter, but they must understand that if they do too actively, they will simply ruin the relationship with you. I just get the impression that you are not decisively enough ready to defend your girlfriend in front of your parents and the girl, of course, feels it and therefore doubts you. In the meantime, you are too afraid to quarrel with your parents because of the girl.

You are completely correct. Thank you very much.

R.M. [In contact with]

Good luck.

All consultations are published only with the consent of the consultant.

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A situation that you have probably heard many times: "You are my friend, and no more ...". I met a girl. Very beautiful. We met, took her to restaurants and theaters. Almost every day we see each other, communicate, correspond. And during all this time, I did not tell her about my feelings. Although there were plenty of reasons. I pour out all my feelings in sms. And recently she told me - let's stay friends. What happened was what I subconsciously feared - to become a friend. Rauf, please tell me a way out of this situation. I love her very much, I want a family and children for a long time. I strongly don’t want to be just a friend.

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