Rules of happy marriage: how to be a good wife? How to be a good mom and wife

13.07.2019

When they talk about the "ideal wife," usually imply a kind of woman who has, apparently, supernatural abilities. She holds a house clean, prepares divinely, always looks awesome, possesses a wide range, well earns. At the same time, it does not saw her husband, not jealous, does not hurt, she does not have a bad mood. In general, the list can be continued infinitely. And what should I really do to become the best wife?

The most important thing is that the perfect wife should do - love your husband .

If love is, she will tell you how to find a compromise in a controversial situation, how to equip the house and life so that you both are comfortable how to smooth the conflict.

But family relationship is a job from which sometimes you can get tired, so try to remember several important points.

You love your husband. Even when he commits frank nonsense, comes at midnight drunk, buys incomprehensible things instead of something necessary, remember: you love him. Moreover, more than new boots or scandals. You definitely have the right to cut it, but will it make your relationship with hard or warmer? We are not talking about situations when the beloved sits on the neck. But if your love is mutual, then he will not do this.
Distribute social roles. Often in families there is a disorder due to unjustified expectations. If you expected that the beloved will take on all the concerns about the plumbing and electricity in the house, and will also become the master of nails, and he instead causes the masters, should not be offended. This does not mean that he does not fulfill male responsibilities, he just does it wrong with you. Stop all this immediately, and then you do not have to prove your right to dinner in a restaurant or rest after the working day.
Do what you know. There is nothing galloping in the fact that you manage repair, and your husband met you in the evening delicious dinner. It does not matter "What people will say": if you hate cook, but you love to repair cars, and your husband is ready to stand in the kitchen for days, why are you obliged to do someone in favor?
Comparison its actions and your reaction. Ideal people do not happen, and for sure you infuriates something in your loved one. But before criticizing it, look at yourself. Did you say that you do not like this line? Or immediately rolled the hysteria, swear, cried? Try to start changing your reactions, perhaps, the reasons for the scandals will disappear.
Speak about your resentment. The problems themselves do not disappear, you need to work on them. Do not be offended in the corner, and tell her husband directly that you hurt. And herself listen to him, then over time you will begin to understand each other and bypass sharp corners.
Respect his opinion. If you love a person, you respect him. You will not be for his back to make important decisions, deceive it, hide important news. Forget about lies for the benefit and other nonsense. Imagine how he will feel himself when he finds out about your actions, can he believe you. You can choose your own wallpaper on your own, but if we are talking about moving, then it's still worth discussing this with her husband.
Learn to compromise. You want to go walk, and my husband is to stay at home and play on the computer. Offer option: You walk, and then go to the raid together. Remember, in a pair you two, and therefore you need to take into account each other's opinion.

Good wives are not born, but become. In principle, common sense and love should tell you how to behave with your beloved man, but still remember some important points.

Let him be the leader.Even if you're a hundred times better contact with construction tools, drive the car and earn more, you have to admit that your man is the leader in your pair. If, of course, you specifically did not seek myself a weakly accrastful and passive person.
Tasty of its feed.It is not necessary to invent a sophisticated menu, it is enough to choose a dozen dishes that like your faithful, and alternate them. And something special can be prepared at the weekend or simply by mood.
Do not forget about intimate life.In the marriage life, sharpness is often lost in bed, sex turns into ordinary. Do not allow this, otherwise you will soon risk acquiring an opponent or just a very boring and sad husband.
Watch your appearance.Family life is not a reason to run yourself. Dress up neat and beautiful, pretty a few elegant domestic dresses, comfortable beautiful slippers, ensure that the hair and manicure are in order. Nobody requires you perfect appearance, but think, is it nice to a man be near his wife in an old coat and with salted hair?
Do not suit the scandals in humans.This is primarily impartial characterized by you, not your husband. Especially if he does not swear with you, but just silently listens. Prior to the negative for the house, and at home try as constructively to explain what you did not like.
Do not criticize him before friends.Perhaps your husband is not a standard style or he has an ideal sense of humor, but this is your husband, you chose him. So, you must protect it and maintain it, and not to put it on the laugh. He will not love you anymore, if you start to make fun of him for every matter.
Hawk him and support.A woman must inspire a man, and not to catch up with endless requirements. Try to seriously treat his ideas, even if you consider them stupid. He tries for you, because the success of her husband is the success of his wife. And vice versa.

How to become a good mother for a child?

It is believed that all women possess the maternal instinct. But it is one thing to dream of a nice karapuze - it's one thing, and give birth to your own. Sleepless nights, nerves, experiences, when the crumb is sick - the first thing that suits a happy mother. When the child matures, he has questions, the transition period begins, teenage problems begins - all this often quorudes parents and his child.

Respect your child

This tiny little man, whom you consider your integral part, independent personality. At least in ten and fifteen years will be it. And only on you depends on how his fate will be: whether he will be a happy person who can build his fate, or turn into a scored shadow, hated the cruel world. It affects your attitude to your own child.

If you respect his decisions, listen to the opinion, show that he has the right to his point of view, then you will help him form a strong and confident person.

Learn to listen to him

Even a newborn child knows how to express its requirements: he expresses their crying. If he wants to eat, do not need to be tormented by feeding by the hour. If he looks at a new rattle with interest, do not force him to sleep. While your child is not yet able to resist you, but such coercion for educational purposes will auginate you in a few years.

Try to hear what the child wants you. And remember - his life is different from yours, he has a different character, other desires.

Do not miss the moment when he no longer wants to say anything to you, because you disappear from him.

Pay attention to the child

It is clear that the current women hurry to live, strive to earn and often put a career on the first place. Perhaps you are a single mother and you physically do not have the opportunity to constantly be with the child. But he should know that you love him more work. Try to give him as much time as possible, attend important performances for him, be aware of events in his life.

the Forbidden fruit is sweet

One of the biggest parent mistakes is to prohibit the child something without explanation. Or deceive, inventing scary the reasons. "Do not dare to be friends with this boy, I said so!". "I find out what you smoke, the head will turn around!". "No computer, until you do lessons." Remember, every teenager thinks: that it is forbidden, hidden recommended. Explain why one or another ban appears in his life. "I would not want you to do not communicate with this boy, because he offends animals and other children, and you know what you can not do that." Perhaps explaining your bans by the child, you're better understand them yourself.

Let him be independent

Of course, you want to protect your child from everything in the world. But think you can't do it forever. Sooner or later he will have to face reality, start living independently, learn to communicate with people, find compromises. How will it do it if you surround your child's cock of hyperzabota? Do not stood in front of him, when he makes the first steps, just be near to support at a difficult moment.

Let him allow mistakes

In errors learn, you know. It is better to burn once than constantly hearing that the hot iron is dangerous. Your business makes these mistakes as safe as possible and simply gave an idea of \u200b\u200ba particular phenomenon.

Nobody canceled the difference between generations, and you can hardly be in everything to be "in the subject." But be the best friend who will not quit in a difficult minute, will not condemn and will not turn away quite by you. Sometimes it is worth disconnecting the Mom mode and instead of notation simply hug your child.

Support his endowment

The fact that you are older and more experienced does not give you the right to make fun of his plans. Let even your son dreams to invent the time car or become a knight, do not divide him that it is impossible. Maybe he will become a brilliant engineer or director, or an actor if you pick it up at the right moment. It is always easier to break, and you help your child to create something significant.

Do not compare your child with other children

"Here Vasya wrote a test for five, and you are three. Why couldn't you? " "Masha is already found with the boys, and you sit on the books." You would also be unpleasant if you were unpleasant if you were compared with someone? So do not do it. Your child probably has other idols: writers, actors, musicians, book characters. Let him be better equal to them who have achieved something, than on neighboring kids, about which you, except progress, can not know anything.

Take into account his interests

Very often, parents are trying to implement their failed plans in their child. If you dreamed of becoming a ballerina as a child, it does not mean that your daughter wants the same. If she is interested in mechanics or chemistry, you do not need to drive her for dancing. She does not receive from this pleasure now, and you will be very surprised later when the graceful child will express you all the accumulated claims. Better help your child to realize his dreams, and then you both will be happy.

Good wife: what is she? Ask this question to hundreds of men - and you will not hear the same answers. Well, if there was a book with recommendations and advice on what to do in certain situations to how to deal with family conflicts. Alas, but a single template does not exist. And this means that it is necessary to deal with how to become a good wife and hostess. Let's find out what the basic postulates of happy family life and the requirements that the keeper of a homely hearth must match.

Good wife: what is she?

Any man wants to see next to him an attractive, gentle and understanding woman who would store comfort in the house, supported in all endeavors. Such wives never suffer from lack of attention from the side of the husbands: Men rush to them in a breaking head after the working day, spend the maximum of their free time with them and regularly give gifts, make surprises.

A good wife is the concept of a capacious, which combines many qualities in itself. If you really decide to become an ideal for your man, remember what kind of wife should be:

Your concern should not be excessively intrusive and comprehensive. Otherwise, it will be annoying a husband. Undoubtedly, there will be men who will like that the spouses are dominated by maternal instincts. However, most strong sex representatives still do not accept permanent guardianship. You must have a sense of measure and remember that the surplus is also destroyed as its deficit.
Men are important to feel the most successful and smart. Being in the company of his friends or colleagues, let the spouse shine wit, support his thought, but never move to the background.
Criticize the spouse in front of others - taboo. Even if your chosen one is wrong, try to point to him softly and tactfully, do not condemn it, but try to support.
A man always strives to be the best. The wife should certainly notice even the most minor successes of her husband. Quickly praise and encourage your spouse for his achievements.
You must be wise and restrained. Do not focus on trifles, always emphasize good.
Men love eyes. Becoming wife, do not forget about this simple truth. Of course, real feelings feed the spiritual qualities of a person. But this does not mean that you can stop care for yourself. Start the morning with easy charging, make makeup and hairstyle. Never let yourself walk around the house in a sloppy bathrobe or stretched sports pants.
Do not stop in development, Improve, Learn New. If you stop paying yourself enough attention, and focus on one of the spouse, very soon your care and guardianship will get bored with him, and you will stop interested.
Forget about constraints in bed. Enough to invent excuses like headaches. Share with a man with your desires and fantasies, experiment, make an intimate life with bright and diverse.

How to become a good wife?

Woman to be not easy. Daily beautiful sex representatives have to play dozens of roles - mothers, wives, girlfriends, comrade, partner, entrepreneur, colleagues. From the number of cases to be performed during the day, the head is spinning. Many men do not even think about how tiring can be comfortable comfort in the house. To keep up to watch for life, without spending at the same time to maintain the order of too much strength and time, take into account such tips:

Think away the diet for 2-3 days ahead or even for a week.
Daily perform several home affairs without postponing them all for one day.
Do not forget about your holiday.

A good mistress should not only follow the cleanliness and order in the house, but also be able to plan a family budget. Each family has a list of basic costs of expenses. And this is nutrition, utilities, purchase of clothes and shoes, transportation costs, etc. If you break the budget for several parts, you will be much easier to manage it.

The perfect wife is not only a hostess, but also a loving mother. So that the man does not feel the lack of your attention, did not jealous to the baby, try to raise your child together, arrange joint leisure. You must become one team in which everyone shares equally - love, care, caress and attention.

Several useful tips:

Make respect the basis of relationship with your husband.
Never put a man before choosing between you and his parents, friends or colleagues. Give him freedom, do not be Tyran, who controls each step every step.
The best wife is not the one that thars and gives up a husband, but that he knows how to balance quarrels and idyll. Learn to pierce the relationship so that they always burst passion and emotions.
Try no less often than once every six months, change your appearance - Make new haircuts, paint hair, buy new clothes.
Be hospitable with his family and loved ones.
Never compare your spouse with your former weights. Keep your teeth.
Learn to recognize your mistakes. None of us is perfect, and therefore you need to be able to listen to criticism in your address, recognize the wrongness and ask for forgiveness.
Do not let yourself meet a spouse with discontent, reproaches and complaints. When a man crosses his own home threshold, it needs to be surrounded by care and warmth, and not load to problems and disrupt its bad mood on it. Give the chosen one to rest a little and eat, and then tell me about what bothers you.

In general, harmonious family relationships - This ability to show flexibility and wisdom. It is necessary to understand that, deciding to tie your life with another person, you pin down a huge burden. Only daily work, love, care and wisdom will allow you to keep this tandem and bring happiness throughout life. What do you think?

In the whirlpool of everyday life, many women are wondering how to combine all the roles at the same time and is it possible to be an ideal wife and mother. Tips how to cope with these two roles, they sound very simple, but not always easily followed. Try to make every effort, but do not be too stronger to yourself.

1. Do not hunt for perfection

The birth of a child, social norms, life experience create in our imagination the image of a perfect mother and wife. Or, on the contrary, you begin to imagine what kind of wife and mom should not be.

2. The best wife and mom is not a standard stereotype.

In the first place you must have a husband and children. And your spouse, in turn, you and your children should take first place. The family should be more important than work and personal interests. I do not say that you have to devote all your time - this is at least a unhealthy attitude. However, no matter how difficult, pay the family to maximum attention and care.

3. Surprise loved ones

Give a gift made by your own hands, prepare your favorite dish or logging into some interesting place. Just like that without reason. You will be surprised how happy they will be. Try to do as many things as possible together: watch movies, play with children, make lessons with them, be careful and show care.

4. Do not speak only to serious topics with my husband.

Find time to talk about what happened during the day, try to be as close as possible. As you know, men want from their wives of respect, communication, open and sincere attitude.

5. Held time to yourself

Despite the fact that, having married and give birth to a child, you need to reconsider our vital values, do not forget about yourself, beloved! Having become a mom, you still stay yourself. At least once a week and at least once a few weeks meet friends. Such interruptions will help you feel the updated and take for the role of mom and wife with new forces. By manifesting yourself with attention, a woman is tested, becomes unhappy as a result - family suffers.

6. Hold the house in order

This does not mean that you must lick your home to shine, but try. In addition, if guests come to you, the house will immediately tell about how the owner you are. Of course, a light mess can be written off on children, after all, this house residential and he should be made in the status of being a little "disheveled".

7. Prepare food

Eternal truth: "The path to the heart of a man lies through the stomach." Believe me, the man will fly home on the wings in anticipation of a delicious dinner. After all, you wish you health to your husband and do not want it to eat in cafes and restaurants, or even worse - street eaters (hot dogs, Cheeseburgers, Khachapuri)? So, preparing your beloved man delicious, diverse and useful food. For this he will love you even more!

8. Trust her husband

Trust - the foundation of a happy relationship, so do not be afraid to let go of a husband from myself, even if in the society where he goes, there will be a fair sex. If he really loves you, it will never allow behavior that you do not approve, which will be bad to characterize it.

9. Imagine changes to intimate life

Be interesting to your husband, no matter, you lived in marriage for two years or ten years. Open new things for yourself. Be unpredictable. Learn the techniques how to deliver your favorite pleasure. He is your initiative Oh, how to like it!

10. Treat well to his family

If you have a tense relationship in your family and you feel that my advice will not save, do not be afraid to talk to your favorite people frankly. Remember that respect and love must be mutual. Let yourself be happy, love and be loved!

In my opinion, a happy mom can or be, or not to be. On this topic, of course, you can argue a lot. But how do you imagine, for example, health by 50%, or charm by 70%? That is, I am healthy half, or am I beautiful on 2/3? True, it sounds at least strange. Therefore, I made for myself the conclusion that a person can be happy only.

I will say honestly, that I did not immediately come to such a conclusion, but through a bunch of mistakes and cones, which I put on the way to your happiness. After all, what is important for mom is primarily children! Their health and well-being, success and ability. But the health of the mother itself, and its success, self-realization and well-being occupies an equally important role. Agree that when children are all good, he is joyful on the soul. And if at this moment my health leaves much to be desired, or, as they say, finances sing romances, or reflection in the mirror after awakening can be done with a ski, then somehow all joyful moments are fade away. There are, of course, such moms, which absolutely do not care as they look or what is dressed, the main thing is that the children have everything in order. And this is their choice! The main thing is that they are satisfied!

But, in my opinion, in life everything should be harmoniously. And Mom is the most important example for your child, a sample for imitation. After all, our children copy us, our actions, looks for life. And I think that in order to become a happy mom, you must first become just happy and determine which aspects in this area need to pay special attention. Let's mentally divide our life into several areas: health, beauty, self-realization, finance, life, rest, relationships. Agree that if some of these areas suffers, then harmony is broken. What is important for a woman as a mother? Again, the health of the child, his relationship with peers and adults, his ability (it's nice to be proud of your treasure).

I still remember the case from my life. I have an anniversary - 30 years old. Guests are twenty. Everyone tells toasts - beautiful nice words. And somewhere on the seventh toast, I notice that everyone says almost the same thing. What am I wonderful mother, the hostess, how I have everything perfectly in the house: Clean, comfort, the menu is always the first, second, third .., children are fed, healthy, etc. ... But for some reason somewhere in the depths The soul began to dig a worm - something is wrong ... for some reason, it's not joyful from all these nice words. And then I begin to understand that none of the guests said about what a woman just. Not a mother, wife, hostess, and a woman! But I did the main conclusion for myself: a happy mom must be primarily Woman (It is with a capital letter).

And my younger brother poured into the fire in the fire. He then was only 18. He says: "Here are 30, why did you achieve in life?" My perturbation was not the limit: "Well, how, I gave birth and (at that time) I bring up two sons!" And then my mock dust. I could not continue my achievement list. Those. I developed and improved many areas of your life. I grow healthy, successful children, houses clean and comfort, but I completely forgot about myself. And if you do not remember about yourself, then why others should remember this.

Dear moms, remember yourself and love yourself! Try to allocate time to take care of your beloved (after all, in each of you there is a little girl who needs first your love and care). And believe me, your children will immediately feel, because in the world of childhood its own special energy! Live with pleasure and joy!

Have you ever wondered why almost every woman is so hard to be constantly with children? Why always pull out somewhere? Why is the sake of entering into light, ready to give their children to other people to raise, unfamiliar people? ...

Why do we care more and gossip than pedagogy and healthy food? Why doesn't the family occupy the main place in our lives? Why are our future and self-realization with you, our desires are more important than the future of our children?

Now all these questions from the category are rhetorical.

We do not know how to be happy mothers, wives, hostess, women ... We do not see the meaning to devote as much time as possible to children to stove cookies every day to wear skirts and dresses to iron her husband's husband thinking about his life goal ...

We do not see in this value, importance. Family, motherhood, devotion, sacrifice, femininity ... Everything depreciated. Everything lost its meaning.

Why did everything happen so?

Why are we taking to work, throwing a child in one and a half or two years to some strange woman in kindergarten? After all, she will not love him. She will handle him as a baseher with a basement on an electrolamp factory. For her it is a conveyor. She will not even try to see the person in this child. She will put pressure on it, demanding to be like everything, because it does not have such 25 and differently with them.

Once upon a time, 30 years ago, our mother also gave us to kindergarten. The same aunt. A little strange. But there is nothing to do. We must go to work. Only almost each of us was about a year.

And we grew up and developed at home almost all this time ... And if more precisely, it was 21 years old - 5 years of kindergarten, 11 years of school and 5 years of the university. All this time we were at home almost even evenings and sometimes on the weekend. We constantly hurried somewhere. We had things - matinee, classes, lessons, control, tutors, exams, couples, coursework, diploma, work, courses ...

We were told - learn, otherwise you will be a housewife! And it sounded so threatening that I wanted, really, gnawing the granite of science with teeth. After all, the main thing is a red diploma, good work and a breathtaking career. Well, or at least just get a job somewhere, because it is necessary to provide yourself.

How often did we get behind the dining table with the whole family? Only on holidays.

How often Mom met us from school? Usually we ourselves came home and granted lunch for themselves or remained in extension. And in the evening, Mom tired and embittered from endless trouble at work came home. She did not want to talk nor. She asked about the marks (if not forget), checked the lessons casually and sent everyone to sleep.

Our parents did not know us. They did not know anything about our inner world, about our dreams and aspirations. They reacted only on bad, because they did not have time to respond to good.

We also did not know them. We could not recognize them because we did not have time for long sincere talk, on a summer holiday with tents at the river, on joint games or reading, on a family trip to the theater or a park at the weekend ...

And so we grew up .. So we grunted some ideas and ideas about the future, about life, about life purposes and ideas.

And in our minds the place for the family was allotted very insignificant. Just exactly the same as we saw in our families.

After all, to mess around with a child for a long time, playing with him, you need to love it.

To constantly every day the bake bake and cook a lot of diverse food, you need to love it.

To give time to the house - decorate it, clean, improve, create a cozy atmosphere, you need to love it.

To want to live the goals and ideas of a husband, worry about him and his future, you need ... to love your husband, and not just beside him.

All this instills daughters mom. She is her first and most important teacher. It indicates life guidelines. She teaches to love ... his female mission. She explains about the importance of being his wife and mother. She teaches ... Love.

And if the daughter practically did not see her mother, and if she saw, he was not inspiring himself at home, then how to find it himself?!

We were doomed to lose their purity and love, because we were taught only how to make a career.

We were taught that the word "success" matters only outside the house, only somewhere in the executed walls.

And then we are quietly crying over the destroyed marriage (which is already in an account), over the alienation of children and some strange feeling that someone once deceived us.

But there is always a way out. Exit is to learn. Learn to be mother, wife, hostess, woman. Quietly, in a few ... learn to see all with different eyes. Women, good, loving ...

Learn to love. Learn to think not about work most of the day, but about your family.

Learn to appreciate the family, husband, children. Serve them, to help them become better, dismissed as flower buds, warming our love.

We need to learn to smile to children and her husband, hug them more often.

We need to look deeper and understand that we are not just growing a person, we form his inner world, his worldview, its life attitudes. Much of what he gets in childhood will follow him all his life. And we need to make a brilliant career of the mother and wife. And if we do not even try to go through this career ladder, disappointment will be an integral part of our old age. Because missed opportunities and rejected liability give very bitter fruits in the future.

It is important to remember that everyone will give their fruits at one time. What will they be? Much depends on us. From our vital vector, from the values \u200b\u200bthat we carry in this world ... into the world of your family.

Natalia Bogdan

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