How to survive an abortion. How to survive an abortion for medical reasons: advice from a psychologist. Symptoms Characterizing Post-Abortion Depression

22.09.2019

These days, the issue of relationships, family and marriage is more relevant than ever. People are constantly in search of a soul mate, building relationships brick by brick, looking for mutual understanding and love in order to find an unbreakable union in the future - a family. But there is another equally important issue in this topic - pregnancy. Someone is looking forward to this state with impatience, someone is just starting to think about children, and someone is not at all ready or does not want to have children at all.

But sometimes it happens that a woman has to. For what reasons? What you need to know about

Reasons for termination of pregnancy

If a few decades ago such a procedure as abortion was not at all relevant, and somewhere it was even prohibited, today women are increasingly turning to hospitals on this issue. And there can be many reasons for this:

One of the main reasons for termination of pregnancy is the unwillingness to become a mother. Most often, this problem concerns young girls, whose life is still gaining momentum. Work, study, constant employment - all this does not allow a girl to become a full-fledged mother. And besides, very often young couples are simply not mentally prepared for such responsibility, and therefore their first step is to contact a medical institution.
The second reason for abortion is the inability to provide a decent upbringing for the future baby. This problem concerns older people who have just started building a career and are completely immersed in it. And as you know, it takes a lot of effort, time and money to educate an independent personality. Responsible couples first of all prepare the conditions for the unborn baby and only then make such a responsible decision - to give birth or not to give birth to a child.
Another unpleasant situation for a woman is the presence of serious diseases or pathologies. Despite the fact that most diseases today can be cured or at least weakened so much that a person will forget about them altogether, the expectant mother may have serious problems during pregnancy, which can lead to miscarriage. How to survive a forced abortion? This situation is one of the most critical, because in this case, most often a woman wants to get pregnant, but cannot, and this leaves a strong imprint on the psyche of a failed mother.
And the last, no less difficult problem is the situation when an already pregnant girl is forced to terminate the pregnancy if the fetus has pathologies. Of course, when serious diseases are discovered, each mother has a choice - to keep the pregnancy or to terminate it before it is too late. And each person has an individual attitude to this issue. Someone thinks that a newly born egg must become a full-fledged human in the future, even if it is sick, and someone decides to have an abortion so as not to torment the child and himself. The choice here is purely individual, but there is only one fact - women who have experienced an abortion experience a huge nervous shock, which is not so easy to cope with.

Why do we consider each reason for abortion in such detail? The fact is that no matter what the situation, after termination of pregnancy, every woman goes through a difficult life stage. Depending on the reason for the abortion, a girl can either calmly survive the procedure or plunge into a difficult mental state - post-abortion syndrome.

Post-abortion syndrome

Post-abortion syndrome is a mental disorder that can have deeper consequences such as depression and apathy.

The symptoms of this disorder are fairly easy to recognize. These include:

Obsessive thoughts that can lead to the emergence of anxiety, nervousness.
Reduced performance, unreasonable fatigue.
Unwillingness to be among people, desire for solitude.
Decreased appetite, sleep disturbance.
Decreased libido.

It should be noted that these are the main symptoms that can mask more serious problems.

What are the consequences?

One of the common consequences of post-abortion syndrome is the occurrence of conflicts in relationships. It is not uncommon for a woman who has an abortion to develop hostility towards her partner, especially if the decision to terminate the pregnancy was dictated by the man. But even if the decision was made jointly, without pressure, then this problem can still manifest itself.

Conflicts may not necessarily be caused by a problem in female psychology. Oddly enough, but a man in this situation can also be susceptible to post-abortion syndrome. This does not mean that your partner is weak in spirit. Psychologically, a man is also susceptible to experiences, only, unlike women, the male half of humanity tries not to show their emotions.

Thus, sometimes the problem of post-abortion syndrome can be unexpected for both women and men, which can lead to relationship problems.

Now let's move on to solving the question of how to get through an abortion.

Solving the problem yourself

You can approach the solution of the problem in different ways. And if you begin to notice any symptoms of post-abortion syndrome, do not be alarmed: there are many options for how to cope with this problem.

Excitement about the operation performed in the first month occurs in 90% of women. This is quite normal, and you should not mistake the anxiety that has arisen for post-abortion syndrome. However, it is necessary to normalize the state now. How to survive an abortion on your own?

Intimate talk

First of all, you need to let go of the moral situation that happened. Whether it is an intentional or forced abortion. It may sound strange, but you need to talk to your unborn baby. How to do it?

You can use ultrasound scans or just imagine the fetus. Don't be afraid to be honest. At this stage, it is very important to release your emotions and experiences outside. You can ask for forgiveness, tell why you decided to take such a step or what made you do it. Say whatever is in your heart.

This may take a lot of time, and maybe even more than once, but this method is great for coping with depression in the first time after the operation.

It is especially important for the female body to observe the daily regimen. Pay attention to your lifestyle. Try to monitor your diet, eat more foods containing vitamins, and be outdoors more often. Try to go to bed on time and work out as little as possible.

Spend time with your loved one and with friends as often as possible, do not withdraw into yourself. Once you return to your normal post-abortion lifestyle, you will notice that anxiety and nervousness recede, and your life is filled with color again.

Help from a loved one

Every woman knows how important the support of a loved one every day is. Needless to say about a situation such as an abortion, which in any case is an intervention in the female body, which can become a lot of stress. Even if you carry out the drugs used, they usually strongly affect the hormonal background of the female body, which can lead to a disorder.

In such a situation, conversation and support of a loved one, be it your spouse or just a loved one, is needed more than ever. It's great if your other half understands the severity of your situation and strives to be there. But do not be afraid to go into dialogue on your own.

Talk to your loved one. Explain that you need support and need to speak up. Share your fears and concerns. Explore the stories of couples who have had an abortion, talk to people who have gone through it. Spend more time together, change the environment for a while - sometimes you just need to walk in the park or visit a cultural destination.

A heart-to-heart conversation with your man will be more beneficial than a dialogue with a friend or relative. After all, it is with this person that you are most strongly connected, and he is also involved in this situation.

Contacting a specialist

If you begin to notice that talking and self-hypnosis does not help, the symptoms of post-abortion syndrome appear more and more, you cannot hesitate. How to get through an abortion if you notice that you are not coping yourself? It is necessary to contact a specialist.

Gynecologist

The first doctor you should go to is the specialist who performed your operation, or your gynecologist. Why is it necessary to start with it?

The most common cause of post-abortion syndrome is hormonal imbalance. Because of this, sometimes a woman herself cannot determine how to survive a medical abortion and why anxiety does not leave her. In this case, a course of prescribed medications and vitamins will help to normalize the state of your body, which can only be prescribed by a specialist after studying the analyzes and characteristics of the female body.

Psychotherapist

But if your attending physician did not find any problems with the body, you need to contact a psychotherapist and find out how to psychologically survive an abortion. How can this specialist help?

First of all, the therapist will identify the root of your problem and tell you how to morally survive the abortion. Depending on the severity of the situation, the doctor prescribes certain medications (these can be conventional sedatives or drugs of a wider spectrum of action) or conducts psychotherapy.

Sexologist

And the last specialist you need to turn to is a sexologist. Since abortion is a serious decision for both partners, problems in sexual life often arise on this basis. One of these problems is, in other words, the lack of attraction to each other. Moreover, this disorder can manifest itself in both a man and a woman, therefore, two people should contact a specialist.

The doctor can prescribe medications that not only allow you to return sexual activity, but also sort out family problems that have arisen after the operation. Contacting a sexologist will help you find the answer to the question of how to cope with stress after an abortion.

Can not be delayed

The last thing to say about this problem is that many, for some reason, do not want to see a doctor and try to cope with the problem on their own to the last. But do not forget that if at the first stage of the emergence of anxiety you could not overcome it on your own, then you cannot delay contacting a specialist. The longer you delay, the deeper the roots of the problem become, and it will be much more difficult to fix them. Don't be afraid to visit specialists. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you can return to your normal life.

Conclusion

Now you know how to cope with depression Even the most serious problem can be solved, the main thing is not to be afraid to look for solutions. If you are wondering how to cope with depression after an abortion, do not sit back.

Medical abortion inflicts tremendous trauma on the psyche of a woman, especially if she was forced to take this step under the influence of circumstances. In this case, coping with the psychological consequences of abortion is incredibly difficult, and not every woman can do it on her own. You cannot rely solely on the healing power of time for how to get through an abortion. You need to be aware of your condition and work on yourself so as not to ruin your life.

Abortion for medical reasons: the psychological state of a woman before and after

If a baby has serious pathologies or a diagnosis is made that threatens the life of the mother or child, the question of prescribing an abortion arises. When it comes to the desired pregnancy, women undergo all kinds of medical research in the hope that the terrible diagnosis will not be confirmed, or there is a chance to save the child.

But if a medical abortion is nevertheless prescribed, the woman is left with a terrible choice: to have an abortion or to keep the pregnancy, regardless of the consequences. No one can make this decision for her, and the horror she experiences cannot be described.

Termination of pregnancy for medical reasons is prescribed for women at different periods, and at any time the experiences are very deep. This is a huge stress, which is often followed by depression. Women are in constant tension and hysterical state. Questions arise that are difficult to answer: Why me? Who is guilty? How to survive the operation and the weeks after it? How not to spoil your relationship with your husband? When will this nightmare end?

Unrecognized grief

In society, it is not yet accepted to treat unworn children as human beings. Society does not give a woman the right to suffer the same suffering as in the case of the death of loved ones. Therefore, women often face misunderstandings and feel immoral or rejected. Even if the abortion was forced, she made the decision herself, and no one will ever change this fact.

It is normal to feel grief in this situation. When pregnancy occurs, hormonal changes begin to occur in the female body, preparing it for future motherhood. The body focuses on reproduction, and the maternal instinct takes over consciousness. Any interference in this process, and even more so its interruption, adversely affect health and leave scars in the soul.

Women have to make a critical decision and experience its consequences while hormonal and other changes continue in their body. Therefore, the absence of a sense of loss, emptiness and suffering is abnormal, both from a psychological and physiological point of view.

Post-abortion syndrome

In medicine, there is such a concept as "post-abortion syndrome", which combines various physiological, psychosomatic and psychological disorders that occur after an artificial termination of pregnancy.

Physiological symptoms

bleeding;
dysfunction of the uterus, which leads to miscarriages and premature birth in subsequent pregnancies;
menstrual irregularities;
infectious diseases.

In gynecological practice, there are frequent cases of illness after abortion with intractable diseases, such as cancer, due to an unbeaten feeling of guilt.

Psychosomatic symptoms

extinction of libido;
itchy skin;
sleep disorders (insomnia, nightmares, restless sleep);
causeless migraines;
abdominal pain, and others.

Psychological symptoms

guilt;
outbursts of anger and aggression for no apparent reason;
depression;
anxiety, fears, anxiety states;
feeling of inner emptiness, emotional fading;
low self-esteem and loss of self-esteem;
suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts;
self-hatred or hatred of men;
avoidance of reality (alcohol or drug addiction);
the need to compensate for the loss of a child by giving birth to the next one, or vice versa, fear of pregnancy;
frequent mood swings, and others.

Of course, not all women develop the syndrome. But women who had to terminate their pregnancies for medical reasons are at risk, especially those who have an unstable psyche, do not accept abortion for religious reasons, or undergo surgery at a later date.

Stages of experience after abortion

After an abortion, you may suffer deep inside, or vice versa, lose control over your emotions. But no matter how painful you are, you are not alone. Millions of women suffer just like you and return to normal life after terminating their pregnancies, going through all the stages of experiencing the consequences of abortion.

Relief

You may feel relief after the operation, as blasphemous as it sounds. You have gone through the worst, and you no longer need to decide anything.

Self-justification

"I had to do it." "I had to have a medical abortion to survive." "I had an abortion because otherwise I would have doomed my child to suffer." These are all facts and you shouldn't deny them. Denial and self-flagellation will delay the recovery process. If you don't give yourself the opportunity to justify your actions for their true reasons, you risk driving yourself into depression and suicide.

Awareness and shock

The realization of what has happened does not come immediately and causes unbearable pain. Many perceive this as the murder of a long-awaited baby and do not understand how to continue to live with it. There is a risk of getting stuck between the second and third stages, constantly returning to trying to justify oneself. To survive this stage, you need to acknowledge reality and accept responsibility (not to be confused with guilt!).

Anger and depression

This is the most painful period when suffering hits you with all its might. You feel anger, deep sadness, depression, feel like a traitor. At this stage, the likelihood of suicide increases. Life seems hopeless. A lot of negative emotions are raging in you: rage, guilt, remorse, self-loathing, insomnia, nightmares, painful memories overcome. During this period, there is a danger of falling into drugs or alcohol in the hope of filling the feeling of emptiness inside and relieving pain. You may start to doubt the diagnosis and regret having an abortion. At this stage, professional help or support of loved ones is very important.

Acceptance and forgiveness

To complete the process, you need to forgive yourself and others. You need to work on yourself every day, little by little letting go of anger, sadness and guilt. If you don't let go of these emotions, they will destroy you. Accept that this is a part of your life, your experience that will stay with you forever.

Severe mental suffering can arise immediately after an abortion or after a while, but it also happens that they come after a few years. Most often, the critical moment falls on the period 2-5 years after the abortion. Sometimes a woman cannot forget her grief for the rest of her days. It is not easy to survive such a tragedy, but life goes on, and it must be done.

Stay real. The hardest part is to face the truth and understand that this happened to you and your child. You have had a medical abortion. Accept this fact. Your suffering is a healthy sign that you are aware of what happened. To heal emotional wounds, you need to acknowledge their existence and why they arise.
Don't hide your concerns. Cry. This is much better than hiding grief deep within yourself. The pain will not go anywhere on its own, and uncried tears will sooner or later find a way out in diseases and nervous disorders, just like a deep splinter is driven away.
Seek support. If you want to hide from everyone and be alone with your grief, you have every right to do so, but do not make it a way of life. A person is a social being, and it is easier for him to recover from a loss when he feels supported. Share your feelings with loved ones who can respect your loss and share your grief. Seek help from a psychologist. Join a support group or chat with women who have experienced a similar affliction on forums.
Sorry. This is the hardest part. It's okay to be angry about yourself and others who have had an abortion relationship. To forgive yourself, you first need to forgive others, forgive fate for taking away this short-lived happiness. After you get through this, it will be easier for you to forgive yourself.
Don't let anyone discount your feelings or take your grief lightly. You have the right to suffer. You have lost your child.

At the very beginning of the path of recovery, you need to realize that you can only help someone who wants help and is looking for it.

Repentance and Atonement

An important part of healing is repentance and atonement. After accepting responsibility for the tragedy on yourself, ask for forgiveness from the unborn baby. What kind of repentance in your case will depend on your religious and moral convictions. Remember that sincere repentance must be followed by atonement. Help those who need support - orphans or sick children, old people, abandoned animals. The main thing is that you are not guided by a desire to buy off, but a sincere intention to be useful and empathy.

Time heals, but this period must also be lived through.

Medical indications
How do doctors take the question?
Post-abortion syndrome
How to deal with it?

Women at different stages of pregnancy are sent for an abortion for medical reasons, but the age of the fetus has little effect on the severity of the experience. It is psychologically very difficult to cope with this event, but it is possible. However, everything is in order, first you need to figure out in which cases an abortion is indicated for medical reasons:

And this not a complete list of diseases for which an abortion is indicated. All this list has one thing in common - the threat to the life of the mother, and, accordingly, the future baby. Read more about medical indications for abortion here.

In any case, the decision about motherhood is made by the woman herself. Before offering an abortion option, it is necessary to hold a consultation of doctors. Those. The "verdict" is passed not only by a gynecologist, but also by a specialized specialist (oncologist, therapist, surgeon), as well as the head of a medical institution. Only after all experts have come to the same opinion, they can offer such an option. And even in this case, the woman has the right to decide for herself whether to agree or keep the pregnancy. If you are sure that the doctor has not consulted with other specialists, then you have the right to write a complaint to the head doctor about a specific health worker.

Naturally, you should confirm the diagnosis in different clinics and with different specialists. If the opinions agree, then the decision is only yours. It is difficult to make this decision, but sometimes it is necessary. You can read about abortion at different times in other articles on our website. You can also familiarize yourself with the procedure of various abortions, as well as their consequences.

Reviews of women who have experienced an abortion for medical reasons:

Mila:

I had to terminate my pregnancy for medical reasons (the baby had a fetal malformation and a bad double test). It is impossible to describe the horror I experienced, and now I am trying to come to my senses! Now I think how to decide next time and not be afraid !? I would like to ask advice from those who have been in a similar situation - how to get out of a state of depression? Now I'm waiting for the analysis, which was done after the interruption, then, probably, I will need to go to the geneticist. Tell me, does anyone know what tests you need to go through and how to plan your next pregnancy?

Natalia:

How can I survive an artificial termination of pregnancy for a medical indication at a later date - 22 weeks (two congenital and severe malformations in a child, including cerebral hydrocephalus and several vertebrae were missing)? It happened a month ago, and I feel like the killer of my long-awaited child, I can't put up with it, enjoy life, and I'm not sure that I can be a good mother in the future! I am afraid of a repetition of the diagnosis, I suffer from more frequent disagreements with my husband, who has moved away from me and strives for friends. What to do to somehow calm down and get out of this hell?

Valentine:

The other day I had to find out what "abortion" is ... not wanting to. At the 14th week of pregnancy, an ultrasound scan revealed a cyst in the baby's entire tummy (the diagnosis is not compatible with his life! But this was my first pregnancy, desired, and everyone was looking forward to the baby). But alas, you need to have an abortion + a long term. Now I don’t know how to cope with my emotions, tears flow in streams at the first reminder of a former pregnancy and an abortion ...

Irina:

I had a similar situation: my first pregnancy ended in failure, everything seemed to be fine, at the first ultrasound they said that the baby was healthy and everything was normal. And on the second ultrasound, when I was already at the 21st week of pregnancy, it turned out that my boy had gastroschisis (intestinal rings develop outside the tummy, i.e. the lower tummy did not grow together) and I was in labor. I was terribly worried, and the whole family was in mourning. The doctor told me that the next pregnancy can only be in a year. I gained strength and pulled myself together and after 7 months I was pregnant again, but the fear for the baby, of course, did not leave me. Everything went well, and 3 months ago I gave birth to a baby girl, absolutely healthy. So, girls, everything will be fine with you, the main thing is to pull yourself together and experience this terrible moment in life.

Alyona:

I have to terminate the pregnancy for medical reasons (from the fetus - severe fatal malformations of the musculoskeletal system). This can be done only after five to six weeks, since it turned out that it was necessary when I was already 13 weeks old, and at this time it was no longer possible to have an abortion, and other possible methods of terminating a pregnancy became available only from 18-20 weeks. This was my first pregnancy, desired.

My husband is naturally also worried, trying to relieve tension in a casino, in a drunkenness ... I understand him in principle, but why does he choose such methods, if he knows perfectly well that they are unacceptable for me ?! By this he blames me for what happened and tries to hurt me so implicitly? Or is he blaming himself and trying to get through it easier in this way?

I, too, am in constant tension, on the verge of hysteria. I am constantly tormented by questions, why exactly with me? Who is to blame for this? What is it for? And the answer can only be received in three or four months, if, in principle, it can be obtained ...

I am afraid of the operation, I am afraid that the situation will become known in the family, and I will also have to endure their sympathetic words and accusing looks. I’m afraid that I don’t want to take risks anymore and still try to have children. How can I get through these few weeks? Not to break down, not to destroy the relationship with your husband, to avoid problems at work? Will the nightmare end in a few weeks, or is it just the beginning of a new one?

The decision was made, the abortion was made and nothing can be returned. It is at this moment that various kinds of psychological symptoms begin, which in traditional medicine are called "post-abortion syndrome." This is a series of symptoms of a bodily, psychosomatic and mental nature.

Bodily manifestations syndrome are:

bleeding;
infectious diseases;
damage to the uterus, which subsequently leads to premature birth, as well as spontaneous miscarriages;
irregular menstrual periods and problems with ovulation.

Often in gynecological practice there were cases of oncological diseases against the background of a previous abortion. This is due to the fact that the constant feeling of guilt weakens the woman's body, which sometimes leads to the formation of tumors.

Psychosomatics"Post-abortion syndrome":

very often, after abortion, there is a decrease in libido in women;
sexual dysfunctions can also manifest themselves in the form of phobias due to a past pregnancy;
sleep disturbances (insomnia, restless sleep, and nightmares);
unexplained migraines;
pain in the lower abdomen, etc.

The psychosomatic nature of these phenomena also leads to sad consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to take timely measures to combat these symptoms.

And finally, the most extensive nature of the symptoms - psychological:

feelings of guilt and regret;
unexplained manifestations of aggression;
feeling of "mental death" (emptiness inside);
depression and feelings of fear;
low self-esteem;
suicidal thoughts;
avoidance of reality (alcoholism, drug addiction);
frequent mood swings and unreasonable tearfulness, etc.

And again, this is only an incomplete list of the manifestations of the "post-abortion syndrome". Of course, one cannot say that it goes through the same for all women, some women go through it immediately after an abortion, while for others it may appear only after some time, even after several years. It is worth noting that after the abortion procedure, not only the woman suffers, but also her partner, as well as close people.

So, how to deal with this situation if you are directly confronted with this phenomenon, or how to help another loved one to cope with the loss?

To begin with, realize that you can only help a person who wants (read - seeks) help. Necessary face reality... Realize that it happened, that it was her child (regardless of the term of the abortion).
Now it is necessary accept another truth- you did it. Accept this reality without excuses or accusations.
And now the most difficult moment comes - to forgive... The most difficult thing is to forgive yourself, so you need to forgive first the people who took part in this, forgive God for sending you such a short-lived joy, forgive the child as a victim of circumstances. And after you manage to cope with it, feel free to move on to forgive yourself.

First, speak out. Talk to family and close friends, talk until you feel better. Try not to be alone with yourself so that there is no time to "wind up" the situation. Whenever possible, get out into nature and into public places where you are socially comfortable to be;
Be sure to support your partner and your loved ones. Sometimes consolation is easier to find in caring for other people. Understand that it is not only for you that this event is morally difficult to go through;
Highly recommend contact a specialist(to a psychologist). In the most difficult moments, we need a person who will listen to us and treat the situation objectively. This approach brings many people back to life.
Contact the Maternity Support Center in your city (you can see the full list of centers here -
Besides, there are special organizations(including organizations at the church) that support women in this difficult moment in life. If you need advice, please call 8-800-200-05-07 (an abortion helpline, toll-free from any region), or visit sites:

http://semya.org.ru/motherhood/index.html
http://www.noabort.net/node/217
http://www.aborti.ru/after/
http://www.chelpsy.ru/places

Monitor your health. Strictly follow your doctor's orders and practice personal hygiene. It is sad, but your uterus is now suffering with you, it is literally an open wound, where an infection can easily get. Be sure to visit a gynecologist to prevent the occurrence of consequences;
Now not the best time learn about pregnancy... Be sure to agree with your doctor on the means for protection, you will need them for the entire recovery period;
Tune in to a positive future. Believe me, how you get through this difficult period will determine your future. And if you cope with these difficulties, then in the future your experiences will be dulled and will not be an open wound on your soul;
Necessarily discover new hobbies and interests... Let it be whatever you want, as long as it brings you joy and stimulates you to move forward.

Faced with a problem, we want to step back and be alone with our grief. But this is not the case - you need to be among people and get away from self-digging. A person is a social being, it is easier for him to cope when he is supported. Find support in your misfortune too!

Neither the vocabulary nor the mind of a woman dreaming of a baby has a place for the word "abortion." However, this verdict ends, alas, not one desired pregnancy.

The term "abortion" refers to the termination of pregnancy up to 28 weeks, counting from the day of the beginning of the last menstruation (distinguish between early and late abortion - up to 12 or from 12 to 28 weeks, respectively). After 28 weeks, termination of pregnancy is called "premature birth". An abortion can be spontaneous (miscarriage) or induced. It will be about the second. And we will only touch on the topic of termination of pregnancy for medical reasons.

It is possible to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons regardless of the gestational age and strictly in a multidisciplinary hospital. By order of the Ministry of Health and Social Development of the Russian Federation of December 3, 2007 N 736 "On approval of the list of medical indications for artificial termination of pregnancy" a list of diseases in the presence of which it is desirable to terminate a pregnancy was presented.

In other words, if the continuation of the pregnancy or subsequent childbirth will lead to a deterioration in the woman's condition and, among other things, pose a threat to her life, doctors may suggest terminating the pregnancy. Another group of reasons is the identification of abnormalities in the development of the fetus or the identification of the nonviability of the fetus through prenatal diagnosis.

There are four types of termination of pregnancy: medical abortion, which is done with medication for up to 6 weeks; mini-abortion (vacuum aspiration) for up to 5 weeks; surgical (operational abortion), carried out in the form of curettage of the uterine cavity; artificial childbirth, which is carried out in the third trimester, proceeds according to the mechanism of normal childbirth and ends with curettage.

What should a woman who is offered to terminate a pregnancy need to know? First, according to the legislation of the Russian Federation (document "On the protection of the health of citizens" dated July 22, 1993, article 36 "Artificial termination of pregnancy"): "Every woman has the right to independently decide the question of motherhood." Secondly, such a verdict as termination of pregnancy can be made after examining the patient in a hospital setting only by a council of the attending physician, a specialized specialist (therapist, surgeon, oncologist, etc.) and the head of a medical institution. That is, the antenatal clinic doctor has no right to make such decisions or persuade a woman to have an abortion. Alas, the picture, when a healthy woman comes to the show at the ZhK, and there they say to her: “You can't stand it anyway. Maybe you will interrupt? ”, Is described by expectant mothers more and more often. If a similar situation arises, write a statement addressed to the head physician of the consultation with a complaint about a specific physician.

However, if the diagnosis is confirmed (and confirmed by several specialists), in order to preserve your life and health, as well as the possibility of giving birth in the future, you have to agree with the doctors' verdict. Women who have gone through this test want to wish not to give up, not to withdraw in themselves, not to refuse the help of loved ones or psychologists and to believe that you can know the happiness of motherhood, albeit a little later.

In gynecological practice, there are frequent cases of illness after abortion with intractable diseases, such as cancer, due to an unbeaten feeling of guilt.

Psychological symptoms

guilt;
outbursts of anger and aggression for no apparent reason;
depression;
anxiety, fears, anxiety states;
feeling of inner emptiness, emotional fading;
low self-esteem and loss of self-esteem;
suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts;
self-hatred or hatred of men;
avoidance of reality (alcohol or drug addiction);
the need to compensate for the loss of a child by giving birth to the next one, or vice versa, fear of pregnancy;
frequent mood swings, and others.

Stages of experience after abortion

You may feel relief after the operation, as blasphemous as it sounds. You have gone through the worst, and you no longer need to decide anything.

Stay real. The hardest part is to face the truth and understand that this happened to you and your child. You have had a medical abortion. Accept this fact. Your suffering is a healthy sign that you are aware of what happened. To heal emotional wounds, you need to acknowledge their existence and why they arise.
Don't hide your concerns. Cry. This is much better than hiding grief deep within yourself. The pain will not go anywhere on its own, and uncried tears will sooner or later find a way out in diseases and nervous disorders, just like a deep splinter is driven away.
Seek support. If you want to hide from everyone and be alone with your grief, you have every right to do so, but do not make it a way of life. A person is a social being, and it is easier for him to recover from a loss when he feels supported. Share your feelings with loved ones who can respect your loss and share your grief. Seek help from a psychologist. Join a support group or chat with women who have experienced a similar affliction on forums.
Sorry. This is the hardest part. It's okay to be angry about yourself and others who have had an abortion relationship. To forgive yourself, you first need to forgive others, forgive fate for taking away this short-lived happiness. After you get through this, it will be easier for you to forgive yourself.
Don't let anyone discount your feelings or take your grief lightly. You have the right to suffer. You have lost your child.

At the very beginning of the path of recovery, you need to realize that you can only help someone who wants help and is looking for it.

Two months have passed since this nightmare - termination of pregnancy for medical reasons in the 20th week. I finally can and want to talk about it - what if my sad story will help someone who finds himself in a similar situation. At one time, I rummaged through the entire Internet in search of information about this procedure, but on the case I found only grains. The pregnancy was planned and very desired. We already knew that we were expecting a girl. My oldest daughter dreamed of her sister and kissed her tummy. But ... At 18 weeks and 6 days, I went for a planned second ultrasound scan, during which the doctor suspected something was wrong with the baby's heart and preliminarily diagnosed SOS. Alas, the doctor was very good and there was very little hope for a mistake. This is one of the most severe heart defects in which the left half of the heart is practically undeveloped. Such babies die 2-3 days after birth. Operations are carried out, but at least three of them are needed, and the survival rate is very small, there are countless happy stories with this diagnosis, and even then - children grow up to be deeply disabled and it is not known how long they will live ... Therefore, we were preparing for the worst. I will not write about the morale, only on the merits. I heard the diagnosis on Friday. After a painful weekend, a hellish week of trips to doctors began - we went to an ultrasound scan at MONIIAG, then - in Bakulevka (thank you so much for agreeing to receive me two days after the call. There was a queue for two weeks ...). Unless I was in the residential complex - I really didn't want to waste precious time sitting in lines, and even in a crowd of pregnant women: ((Everywhere the diagnosis was confirmed. I didn't look at the ultrasound monitor anymore - it's unbearable ... In Bakulevka they said directly - the diagnosis it is extremely unfavorable and it is recommended to terminate the pregnancy. And it is necessary to be in time before 21 weeks. And then the whole quest began. You just cannot terminate a pregnancy for a long time - for this you need to get the opinion of the council of doctors. They did an ultrasound scan in Bakulevka, but without the conclusion of their surgeon it is invalid, and the surgeon will only be in two days. Thus, we were in limbo and decided to start looking for a clinic for now. I was already noticed by others, and living with him, knowing that my pregnancy was doomed, is insanely difficult ... And the child was already actively pushing, I tried not to notice as opportunities. After reading on the Internet about the horrors of late interruptions in state maternity hospitals in the direction of the residential complex, they immediately decided to give any money, if only the whole procedure would go smoothly and without unnecessary suffering. .. But it turned out that it is not easy at all. Friends advised me to contact the PMC at Sevastopolskoye. There I was in for a shock from a conversation with the manager - she glanced at the stack of my ultrasounds and directly told me that the policy of their center is the struggle for fertility, and I kind of want it the other way around ... As if this is my innermost desire, damn it ... And she also said that most likely they would not want to take me anywhere for any money, since the procedure is dangerous and responsible, and only at the place of registration they have no right to refuse me. It is difficult to describe my condition at that time, to be honest. We went to the TsPSIR opposite - the same answer. Somehow from the stories on the network they realized that in Moscow there is only one maternity hospital, where people like me are exiled - the 36th, and in the region - to the maternity hospital in Lyubertsy (the fact is that I am registered in Moscow, but I live in the nearest Moscow region and is attached to the regional housing complex. That is, theoretically I can choose where to go). But I absolutely didn’t want to experiment with free medicine. There was one more option - the center of Kulakov on Oparin, as if one of the acquaintances of friends there interrupted at a later date. We took a risk, signed up for an obstetrician-gynecologist there. And - lo and behold !!! We got into the hands of a wonderful specialist who became my guardian angel (there is no other way to say) - Lomova Natalya Anatolyevna. At that time, it was already the 19th week for me, and the deadline was critical, as it turned out. A couple more days - and they wouldn't take me. On Thursday we got to her, and on Monday we already made an appointment for hospitalization. The council Natalya Anatolyevna collected herself and received the coveted piece of paper with all the signatures. And she gave a list of tests that must be taken strictly in the center of Kulakov. She described how the procedure itself would take place - I go to bed on Monday, I give birth on Tuesday, and on Wednesday or Thursday I will be discharged. After stories on the Internet about painful childbirth for three days (right in the general ward) and the plowing attitude of doctors, it sounded fantastic. On Friday, we passed all the tests and did another ultrasound, already in Kulakov - an expert one, with the participation of two professors. The diagnosis and description of the defect took five lines ... And an even greater conviction that no one can help this child if he is born. On Monday at 9 am I was admitted to the 2nd obstetric department. There are women with various pathologies after childbirth, and several double wards for pregnant women are allocated for conservation. People like me are also put there. It's good that in this department there are no children, although they are brought to mothers six times a day for feeding. At such moments, all that remains is to hide in the ward. The next day a girl was put in my ward with the same problem. With ordinary women in labor, they try not to put it, everyone understands ... On Monday I had to drink three pills - at 16, 20 and 24 hours. Mefipristone seems to be. For softening CMM. This is the first step. At 6 and 9 am on Tuesday, I had to suck another pill (I don't remember the name anymore) - to start the contractions. Some are given kelp sticks for additional softening, I did not need them (this is my second birth). After 9, my stomach began to ache strongly, then slowly the pain became periodic - rare contractions began. At 11 they were already frequent and painful, at about 12 I was taken to the operating room. There was almost no strength to endure, I started screaming that I really wanted an epidural (in my first birth, I really didn't have it. But I didn't want to endure the pain just like that, when I didn't want a child at all ...). In the meantime, the fetal bladder was pierced. About 15 minutes later, they underwent spinal anesthesia - and I felt good ... Soon the cervix began to open. By that time, as many doctors had gathered in the operating room as I had never seen in one room, probably. And everyone looked only at me :) "Childbirth" received the head of the department. The fruit was carefully pulled out of me and immediately removed - I did not see anything. It remains to clean the afterbirth. Usually for this they give general anesthesia, but the spinal anesthesia worked with might and main - I did not feel anything below the waist - and they decided to clean it like that. Everything went well, and soon I was already lying on a gurney in the corridor. If it were not for the women in labor with newly born children and happy fathers, everything would be very good. In total, at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I was already brought to the ward. In short, everything looks like a normal childbirth, except that it is much faster (disclosure needs very little, there were contractions for 4-5 hours in total) and practically without attempts. She immediately began to drink bromocriptine to suppress lactation. The breasts really slept quickly enough. On Wednesday I was still not discharged (I didn’t like the jumped leukocytes), they let me go at lunchtime on Thursday. The attitude of doctors and staff is wonderful. Everyone is very understanding and sympathetic. It was important to me. True, the 10-day course of bromocriptine did not help me - and after its completion, five days later, my chest swelled monstrously and colostrum began to ooze. It's powerful for my term, though. I really wanted to feed the body, apparently ... On the advice of Natalya Anatolyevna, I had to drink it for another week - two tablets a day, the milk was gone within a few days. Although the pills are very unpleasant, there are many side effects. But it’s better than walking around with breast swollen from milk. And a month later, menstruation began ... What about the prices. For the entire hospitalization and the procedure itself, we paid almost 50 thousand. Another 10 thousand were spent on tests. The costs of all ultrasound and consultations of professors - another 20 thousand. And more - if someone has to go through this. Anything can be experienced. And two months later, I finally began to let go of this situation and move on (largely due to the fact that I already have a child, and, of course, the support of my husband, family and friends). But I want to warn you - after all the tears shed, sleepless nights, doctors, papers, consultations, panic and fear, it seemed to me that I just had to go through this birth and then everything would be fine. After the procedure, it really became much easier for me - all the horror seemed to be behind me. For three days I was calm. And then it began to cover. Apparently, the hormones made themselves felt ... I cried almost constantly, I did not want anything. It was not clear how to continue to live, all thoughts were about only one thing. It was very hard. It was a little saved that three weeks later the three of us with my husband and child flew to the sea for a week. It was much better there, but the house again rolled with renewed vigor. You can't run away from yourself ... Bitter, insulting, hard. I can't see little children and pregnant women yet, it's torment. I understand that things happen much, much worse, but then my universe collapsed, and I could not imagine anything worse. But everything goes away. And, God forbid, it will never happen again. I wish you all good health and wonderful babies! Take care of yourself! P.S. Thank you all for so many warm responses and words of support! :))) Honestly, I didn’t even expect answers - it’s not the most pleasant topic. I wrote primarily for history and for helping those who, God forbid, find themselves in a similar situation - although it would be better if no one had to face this in life. We had a panic - where to run for help, what to do and how to get through it, and there was catastrophically little information on the Internet, it's hard to write about it to those who survived. Maybe my experience will help someone. If you need support or advice - be sure to write!

The state of health and psychological state of a woman after an abortion: how to survive depression and maintain further relationships?

An artificial termination of pregnancy does not pass without leaving a trace for a woman.

In addition to the somatic consequences and complications, there is also a psychological aspect of abortion procedures.

Most women, after undergoing an operation to remove their unborn child from the uterine cavity, experience psychological difficulties, their condition after an abortion can hardly be called successful.

How to get through an abortion and how to cope with depression after an abortion is what we'll talk about in this article.

Future women in labor may have different attitudes towards the abortion procedure. Their attitude to such a procedure is influenced by both individual factors (upbringing, character, financial situation) and social (public opinion, dominant religion).

If a woman herself consciously wants to terminate the pregnancy, then she may not have psychological problems, but this is rather an exception to the rule.

Often the expectant mother decides to carry out abortion procedures under the influence of external factors (lack of material resources, pressure from a man).

But, in modern society, there is strong pressure on women from violent opponents of abortion, representatives of religious denominations and public opinion, which does not approve of abortion procedures in general.

Thus, the woman becomes sandwiched between two forces.

On the one hand, there are difficult personal circumstances, which include:

difficult financial situation;
lack of confidence in the future;
unwillingness to have a child from an unloved husband or rapist;
psychological unwillingness to become a mother.

The last point is especially typical for girls under twenty, who, in most cases, feel like children themselves. Girls after an abortion often do not realize the importance of their decision.

On the other hand, there is external pressure, which calls on a pregnant woman to give birth, in spite of any difficulties.

This pressure comes from:

close relatives and / or husband;
public and religious figures;
girlfriends and work colleagues.

If at such moments the woman did not receive moral support, then after the abortion procedures she will most likely fall into depression.

It is not surprising that many people have a question: how to live after an abortion? After all, people around are not always able to think: how does a woman feel after an abortion?

After the procedure for removing the fetus from the uterine cavity, most abortion patients have various psychological problems.

They can occur both immediately after an abortion, and after months or years and make life very difficult after an abortion, not only for the woman, but also for her environment.

And the question of how to morally survive an abortion does not lose its relevance. Very often you can hear requests for help, how to get out of depression after an abortion?

The timing of the onset of psychological difficulties and their nature depends on the specific circumstances that led to the termination of pregnancy, and on the personal characteristics of the woman.

But, many women need psychological help after an abortion. The most common disorder in these cases is post-abortion syndrome, or post-abortion depression.

The main contributors to post-abortion depression include:

pressure prior to abortion from loved ones and men;
termination of a desired pregnancy for medical reasons;
rape;
fear of infertility due to a postponed abortion;
carrying out an abortion procedure late in pregnancy;
pressure from public opinion.

When the fetus is diagnosed with serious genetic pathologies incompatible with normal full-fledged life after birth, doctors recommend artificial termination of the pregnancy.

If such a pregnancy is desirable for a woman and her husband, then the expectant mother may fall into severe depression after abortion procedures.

Despite the development of abortion technologies, there is still a risk of infertility after the abortion procedure, and this fact also contributes to the depressed state of the abortion patient.

When the onset of post-abortion syndrome is a fait accompli, and the state of health after an abortion leaves much to be desired, the question arises: how to cope with the consequences of the abortion procedure and not allow the depressive state to drag on? How to behave after an abortion?

A woman is faced with the task of coping with the following main manifestations of post-abortion syndrome (depression):

Often women are convinced that after an abortion, life has become a hell. How to recover after an abortion?

It is very important that during the recovery period after the abortion procedures, there is a person next to the woman who could help her survive the post-abortion depression and return to normal life.

It is strongly discouraged to deal with depression after an abortion during pregnancy using alcoholic beverages, since alcohol is a depressant and can only aggravate post-abortion depression. In addition, in addition to such depression, a woman may develop alcohol dependence and abortive delirium.

Sleep disturbances caused by the stress of losing an unborn child should not be stopped with strong sleeping pills (tranquilizers), since such drugs solve the problem only for a while, and then the abortion patient may develop dependence on sleeping pills, which will only aggravate it psychological condition.

Often, abortion procedures can cause discord in family relationships, especially if one of the couple insisted on abortion.

If a man insisted on such an operation, the woman may agree and then blame the man for her post-abortion depression, which often leads to the destruction of the couple.

When the expectant mother, for some reason, does not want to have a child, but the father insists on the birth, after the abortion procedures, the woman often has a feeling of guilt for not keeping the child, in front of this child and in front of her man.

Such a feeling of guilt can lead to the disintegration of the family, and the sensitive and attentive attitude of a man to a woman who has undergone such a difficult operation for her health and psyche as removing a fetus from the uterus can save from disintegration.

If a man after an abortion can convince a woman that she is not guilty of anything, and will support her morally during the period of psychological and physical post-abortion rehabilitation, then the woman will successfully overcome the post-abortion syndrome, and such a couple has a chance to give birth to the desired child in the future.

So, the decision to terminate a pregnancy is not always easy for a woman, and abortion in a woman's life often leads to depression and depression.

Helping your husband and loved ones, seeking help from a specialist psychologist for support and refusing to drink alcohol during the rehabilitation period will help get rid of the post-abortion syndrome.

We hope that thanks to our article, you understand how to psychologically survive an abortion and how women who have had an abortion feel.

You can learn more about the psychological consequences that an abortion can cause from the video below:

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Source: post-abortion help.

Abortion is a cruel reality, trauma, where there are many victims: the child, the woman herself and her environment. For a woman, an abortion is always a loss, for someone voluntary, for someone forced, the loss of a child, an opportunity to realize her maternal or paternal feelings.

Nobody warns a woman that it will not be as it was before. She has a desire to return to how everything was before pregnancy, to get rid of the child and live on the old life, and this is the desire of the old life. traps women.

What happens to a woman after an abortion, when the child is no more.

70% of women, according to some authors, face obvious difficulties after what happened, the remaining 30% do not recognize this as a problem and may believe that they did everything right. They may not associate their psychological difficulties with abortion.

The majority of women have a feeling of irreparable loss, a feeling of guilt for what they have done, regret, a feeling of worthlessness. An irreparable loss has occurred, women are experiencing grief, mental pain, and these experiences are beyond ordinary human emotions.

But women cannot express them in a socially acceptable form, mourn, bury, grieve with other people, receive consolation. The wound is bleeding, and the woman does not know how to heal it.

The researcher of this problem, Teresa Burke, called such tears forbidden, a woman in our society has no right to them, since she voluntarily killed her child. But you cannot argue with feelings, they are and cannot find a way out.

This condition, the inability to express feelings and cope with anger, pain, fear and guilt, the inability to accept the murder of a child, is called post-abortion syndrome.

Post-abortion syndrome can take on completely different disguises:

Post-abortion syndrome can also be experienced by men, children, doctors, consultants, all those people who somehow faced this, participated in making a decision or implementing it.

This is a crisis state for a woman and in her experience of loss she goes through the same stages:

Negation accomplished, the woman's feelings are not expressed, there is detachment and numbness.

Aggression on others, what they allowed to do or did not support, did not stop her, aggression can be obvious, and more often it is hidden and, as a result, is suppressed, which leads to repressed feelings.

Depression, loss of interest in life, and all of the above manifestations of PAS

Adoption, it comes when other stages of mourning are fully passed, and feelings are manifested and realized.

This is not always the case in women after an abortion. And she gets stuck at the previous stage in its various manifestations.

In the already mentioned book Forbidden Tears by Theresa Burke, it is said that for women in society there is a social prohibition on the open expression of their feelings. The position is as follows - no child - no problem, no feelings, no grief. Such an attitude does not allow a woman to fully live her grief, to heal herself.

What psychological help and who can provide a woman who has undergone an abortion:

It can be different people: relatives and friends, psychologist and priest.

On different levels of awareness and acceptance: on psychological or sincere and spiritual.

The more resources a woman uses, the easier it will be for her to cope.

After an abortion on the part of loved ones, it is desirable:

Be there when you need it
To be close, to be there when necessary. For a woman to know that there is support, she just needs to call
Give the opportunity to be alone if a woman wants it
Talk to her about your attitude and your feelings
Discuss her condition and her feelings with her.

It is important for the woman herself:

Don't push the pain and pretend everything is fine
Give vent to emotions, cry, scream, give vent to anger, tears
Determine the circle of trusted persons who will be able to support and understand, will not stand aside
If there are fears that others whom you do not want to devote will be recognized, it may be possible to limit the circle of communication for a while, give yourself time to be alone, or only with loved ones.
Talk about your feelings, what worries, what you think about it
If loved ones do not want to hear about it, understand, they also have protection from worries, and before talking about themselves, ask what they think and feel
If relatives do not know and do not need to find out, or do not want to speak at all, find any stranger, for example. a psychologist or a priest, and talk to him about it

What a woman should think about and what questions to answer frankly:

Realize the consequences of an abortion: recognize the murdered child, precisely that it was a child, and not a clot of matter
Recognize that the pain she is experiencing is related to the loss of a child and mourn for her
Use an outward expression of sadness, mourning, as much as possible
Deal with suppressed feelings: grief, guilt, anger, loneliness, ambivalent attachment to lost children
Understand how the loss affected your life
Forgive people: husband, parents, friends, health workers, other people who did not support or incline to this act
Forgive yourself and receive forgiveness from God
Switching from painful experiences to a positive attitude
Be willing to come to terms with your experience and receive healing
The opportunity to revisit your life, see the picture of your life as a whole and learn to perceive it in a new light
Discover the meaning of what happened and allow God to transform the experience into a desire to find hope, peace and liberation
Make up for what was done in a positive direction.

Women can go through these milestones or stages for overcoming negative experiences or healing, both themselves and with the help of a psychologist.

For professional psychological assistance, you can briefly outline the stages of work:

Admitting the killing of a child and responding to feelings.
The return of the child to the family system.
Determination of the guilt of the participants in the event and their forgiveness.
Accepting forgiveness from a child, from God.
Choice of possible reimbursement.

Methods used in psychological work: Genogram, "Family Sociogram", "Diary of Events", "Letter to a Child", etc.

Only consistently, step by step, calling things by their proper names, responding to feelings and turning to resources, the psychologist and the woman will reach the goal, to healing. One of the important criteria for its achievement will be the refusal of abortion in the future.

According to practically all psychological schools, making a decision about an abortion, in psychological terms, is an indicator of the presence of problems within a woman and within a family; and the quality of emotional maturity.

Based on this, the work of a psychologist with experiences after an abortion will inevitably touch upon such topics as attitude towards oneself, relationship with mother, etc.

Therefore, the decision to refuse abortion in the future is an indicator of positive changes in the mental organization of a woman.

To live this event, so that the abortion does not have an impact on subsequent pregnancies, future children, on relationships with a spouse and loved ones, it is important for a woman to want to change her life, her thoughts, experiences, be ready to work on herself and meet pain, unpleasant and rejected feelings.

Such work can and should be called healing through repentance, because repentance is translated as a change of mind, a change in the way of thinking, the realization that as it was before, it can no longer be.

The former feelings, having opened, are replaced by new ones, the former thoughts and intentions, when realized, bring good fruit.

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Source: the topic of abortion, which has been discussed recently, has begun to appear more and more often on women's forums, because this is not just an ordinary operation like appendicitis, but much more serious, because its consequences are very difficult to survive emotionally. Being a mother is the mission of every woman, which is laid down by nature itself. The girl grows up and becomes a woman capable of bearing and giving birth to a child, but sometimes such events still happen when you have to go against nature.

No matter how sad it is, women and young girls are increasingly resorting to abortion for various reasons: poor financial condition, too young age, unwillingness to have children "now" or in general, inability to endure, the likelihood of giving birth to a child with disabilities. Terminating a pregnancy is half the trouble, because then you have to wait for the consequences, which can be very sad.

Post-abortion syndrome - this is how it is customary to call a set of mental and physical illnesses that occur in most girls after the operation, both immediately and over time. The consequences of the stress experienced can be very diverse: from alcoholism to the inability to have children in the future. Every woman who has had an abortion suffers after what was done, because it is very difficult to start living again after killing her own child.

It is very important to recover from the experience and find peace of mind, even if confusion, pain in the soul does not allow to live calmly, it is necessary to establish an emotional state so that the past no longer bothers and let go of the situation as inevitable. It is possible that it will take a long time to settle your emotional and mental state, but in any case, you need to conduct a mental dialogue with yourself in order to explain to yourself the reason and calm down. It's good when there are relatives and friends nearby who can support, say warm words, help to understand yourself and your deed. Of course, it is easier to survive an abortion for those who had to do it due to the inability to endure, contraindications for pregnancy or rape. After all, then, a woman can do practically nothing to give birth to a healthy and live baby.

However, most often a girl takes this step voluntarily and, faced with a choice, makes it not in the direction of an unborn baby. After termination of pregnancy, the reasons are no longer important, what has been done cannot be returned, and there is still a long life ahead and you need to follow your path further, leaving as little part of yourself as possible with an unborn child. The woman's psyche has already been disturbed and, in addition to depression, a number of diseases associated with the operation itself may occur.

It is no secret that the safest is a medication interruption, done at an early stage of up to 1 month. Surgical intervention is fraught with the inability to have children in the future, and this is a risk with which any girl who takes this step is aware. Therefore, it is worth going to it consciously and readily accept and withstand all the consequences.

As a rule, women who are fully aware of their act, experience an abortion easier than young girls who do not understand how to live after that. In any case, this shock requires a woman of great willpower and spirit, a strong character, so as not to break the fragile female nature.

Being a mother is the mission of every woman, which is laid down by nature itself. The girl grows up and becomes a woman capable of bearing and giving birth to a child, but sometimes such events still happen when you have to go against nature.

Consequences of abortion

How to avoid post-abortion syndrome

Self talk. It is very important to sit down and think carefully about the reasons that prompted the abortion, about the circumstances that could not have developed otherwise. You do not need to reproach yourself and say "if only", blame for what is happening and empty your brain, you need to let it go like the past. If it’s really hard, then it’s better to cry a lot and cross this line, start living again.
Forgive yourself. It is very important to receive forgiveness from your soul for this act, sincerely and with all emotions to express a request for forgiveness to yourself and your baby, you can go to church and repent of your sin.
Find good reasons. We are just people and often make mistakes, so we need to find the reasons that will determine the action and help in the fight against self-flagellation.
Do not withdraw into yourself. Walking down the street with friends, loved ones, more often in the company, in the fresh air. Fresh news and conversations will breathe strength and energy into life, one has only to give loved ones access to their feelings, fears, all emotions. If you have a loved one, then experiencing this incident together is much easier than one, because the support of a loved one and affectionate words will help better than any treatment from the best psychologists.

Returning to normal life will not be easy, the world around you will not be the same. A woman who terminates a pregnancy will have a completely overturned sense of reality, values and lifestyle will change, but time heals. The larger the wound in the soul, the more time it will take to heal it, the main thing is to believe in the best, remain optimistic and know that life goes on.

How to avoid depression after an abortion

A large number of women who have an abortion are diagnosed with depression of varying severity. In some cases, its manifestations are observed even several years after miscarriage.

After abortion, many women experience psychological problems. The intensity and duration of these experiences varies from woman to woman, but research shows that psychological discomfort can be felt for up to five years.

Causes and consequences of termination of pregnancy

The reasons are most often:

social factor (for example, pregnancy occurred as a result of rape, a woman does not have the opportunity to raise a child, her partner insisted on abortion, etc.);
medical indications (there is a threat to the woman's health or the fetus has serious developmental abnormalities).

After an abortion, complications of various kinds can be detected, such as:

hormonal disorders;
ovarian dysfunction;
infertility;
increased risk of tumor formation.

Even after medical abortion, which is considered the most "gentle" and causes the minimum number of complications, profuse bleeding can occur.

Psychological trauma is diagnosed very often, but a significant number of women never seek help.

The main symptoms of depression after an abortion

According to research data, within ten days after a miscarriage, about half of women experience acute feelings of psychological discomfort, while this percentage is lower among women who have an abortion.

However, in the longer term (up to several years), the consequences of psychological trauma are detected in twenty percent of women who have had an abortion, and in three percent - those who have had a miscarriage.

How to get your husband out of depression after losing his job? Find out from the article.

This phenomenon is associated with the fact that a miscarriage for a woman is a situation for which she was not ready, while an intentional interruption is a conscious action that is far from always easy.

Women who have experienced an abortion often seem to “freeze” in a state of denial, trying to forget what happened.

Many women complain about:

increased fatigue, both physical and mental;
decreased initiative, passivity, emotional imbalance;
sleep and appetite disorders;
an increase in the level of anxiety.

The strongest emotional reactions are observed in young girls who have terminated their first pregnancy and in women who are compelled to have an abortion for medical reasons.

Also, a high level of post-abortion stress is detected in the following groups of women:

have mental problems or a tendency to depression in the past;
religious (or initially did not accept abortion);
forced to interrupt gestation at the insistence of partners or parents;
having an abortion at a later date;
who kept their "sin" a secret.

There are several options for the development of events:

In some cases, the woman's condition returns to normal after a few days. If this did not happen, then later (or in parallel with the described processes) the woman often develops a feeling of guilt about what happened, repeated “playing” of the situation of termination of pregnancy, obsessive memories.
Sometimes depression can show up over a fairly long period of time. This is due to the fact that depression was blocked by the protective mechanisms of the female psyche, which were removed for any reason (new pregnancy, new psychological or life trauma, information about abortion in the media, etc.).
Many women have suicidal thoughts. Some women begin to talk to an unborn child, to represent him. Nightmares are frequent.
Sometimes a woman cannot even concentrate on daily activities, and even more so - to do difficult work. In some cases, a woman begins to avoid everything that might remind her of an abortion (she is afraid to visit hospitals, undergo an examination by a gynecologist, experiences acute feelings at the sight of pregnant women and women with children).
The number of conflicts with friends and relatives is increasing. There may be a feeling of distrust in a partner, anger, fear of sexual contact. About seventy percent of unmarried couples separate within a year after an abortion. Partners are not always able and willing to provide the necessary support, which only aggravates the woman's condition.

How to deal with prolonged depression? Read on.

What constitutes the treatment for atypical depression? Read the article.

How to deal with grief and guilt

You need to talk to yourself and forgive yourself. Admit to yourself everything that worries you, in every little thing, without hiding anything from yourself. You can do this repeatedly, as soon as you want. You can write down your experiences.
It is advisable to undergo a course of drug treatment. Hormone therapy will help bring the body back to normal faster and often alleviate the emotional state. Vitamins and nutritional supplements are also often prescribed.
The consultation of a psychologist is indicated for all women who experience at least some of the above symptoms after an abortion. It is worth starting to visit a psychologist as early as possible: this way there will be fewer negative consequences. In many cities there are crisis centers for women, where you can get the help of a psychologist even for free. With prolonged depression, a psychologist may prescribe a course of antidepressants. In some cases, psychologists recommend going to consultations and partners: this way you can minimize conflicts in a couple, and the woman will receive additional support.
If possible, do not refuse the help of family and friends. If they are aware of what happened and are eager to help, there is no need to keep the worries to themselves. Talking with close friends who have experience with abortion helps a lot. If there are no such friends, you can try to find support on one of the forums on the Internet.
Charity can help ease the state of mind. If it is difficult to communicate with children (for example, to go as a volunteer to a shelter), then you can transfer money for the treatment of a sick child to one of the large funds.
Some women are helped by visiting temples. If you have a desire to confess, you shouldn't deny yourself. But you don’t need to go to church if you don’t want to. If a woman is not yet ready for confession, you can simply pray in a small church.
At the first sign of depression, it is worth trying to reduce the amount of time spent thinking and worrying about what happened. Sometimes the condition is facilitated by a favorite hobby, active activity, travel.
In no case should you seek salvation in alcohol and sedatives purchased without a doctor's prescription. Alcohol not only does not help fight depression, it intensifies its manifestations.

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How to psychologically survive an abortion

Abortion is understood as the termination of pregnancy before the onset of the 6-month period, that is, until the time when the child becomes capable of independent development. After the expiration of the 6-month period, they begin to talk not about abortion, but about premature birth. There are several forms of abortion:

with a spontaneous abortion, the termination of pregnancy is not planned and occurs suddenly. A spontaneous abortion ends with an ejection of the placenta and usually a dead fetus. A synonym for spontaneous abortion is the word "miscarriage";
artificial abortion is a planned action for which a woman goes to the hospital. Artificial abortion is allowed up to 2 months of pregnancy;
therapeutic artificial abortion is carried out under the close supervision of a doctor and is carried out in cases where a pregnant woman cannot deliver a fetus for health reasons.

The main psychological causes of abortion

Considering the psychological causes of abortion, it should be noted that they will not be the same for spontaneous, artificial and artificial therapeutic termination of pregnancy.

Spontaneous abortion is a direct consequence of the unconscious choice of an unborn child or mother. In this case, either the baby's soul decides to appear elsewhere, or the mother is not yet ready for birth.

Spontaneous abortion is the result of communication at the level of the souls of the mother and child. If compatibility is not found, the child is not born.

It is possible that in the future, when the woman becomes pregnant again, it is this child's soul that will return to her again. The birth will be successful, which means that the moment has come when the balance of souls has been found.

With a voluntary decision to have an abortion, a woman has an overwhelming fear of having a child. Quite often, complications arise with such an abortion, which further increase the feeling of guilt.

Finding mental balance with a voluntary abortion is possible only if the woman was able to convince the soul of the child that now is not the time for her to give birth and that she is very afraid to take this step.

A therapeutic abortion is very similar to an induced abortion, but there are some differences. A woman experiences the same emotions and feelings as in a "deliberate" abortion, however, she does not independently decide not to give birth, but shifts responsibly to the doctors.

An amazing coincidence, but usually abortion coincides with disappointment, unfulfilled dreams and desires of a woman, unfulfilled projects. Bad thoughts prevent a woman from delivering a child.

Understanding how to survive an abortion

If you are not fortunate enough to face a situation such as termination of pregnancy, you need to be clear about how to get through an abortion and get rid of guilt.

It is important to realize that abortion is a direct consequence of the fact that a woman is not yet ready to give birth and, moreover, does not have any real opportunities for this. This is a past (albeit very unpleasant) situation that has already happened and on which, no matter how you reproach yourself, you still cannot influence.

It is believed that abortion is the protection of the soul of an unborn child. It is possible that the suffering that would have been in store for him after birth would have been much more terrible than what he had to endure during an abortion.

A woman who has had an abortion or has experienced a miscarriage must realize her responsibility for her future. Yes, you could not give birth and make this child happy, but you will be able to provide a full life for another baby, whom you will give birth to, when you are actually ready for it.

You should not get hung up on the analysis of your deed. Make your decision on an emotional and spiritual level, be aware of the situation and make a decision never to get into it again.

Full / partial copying of materials from the publication Metaphysics of Abortion. How to psychologically survive an abortion ”is allowed with the indication of a backward active link to the article.

Read about the psychological causes of illness on the Good Habits portal.

Unfortunately, when a woman loses her child, regardless of the reasons for this, it is a very strong psychological blow for her and for the whole family.

It is known that the physiological state of a woman after an abortion is restored much faster than her mental balance. Regardless of what the type of termination of pregnancy was, planned or unexpected (for medical reasons), stress after an abortion is inevitable, stress can turn into depression.

What are the psychological consequences of an abortion?

Women who have had an abortion continue to experience trauma over the years. According to research by psychologists, immediately after a miscarriage (within 10 days), about half of women experience acute psychological discomfort, while only 30% of women experience severe psychological discomfort after an abortion. On the other hand, after 5 years, about 3% of women who have had a miscarriage and 20% of women who have had an abortion continue to experience the consequences of psychological trauma.

Feelings of guilt and emptiness in the soul can be felt for years. In this case, you should not try to cope with the problem on your own, deny or ignore the existence of the problem, but it is better to seek help from specialists.

TO causes of depression after termination of pregnancy include:

deterioration of relations with a partner;
grief for the lost child;
remorse for consent to the procedure for termination of pregnancy;
awareness of involvement in the deprivation of the life of his unborn child.

Experiencing emotional pain after an abortion is much more difficult than when losing a long-awaited child during a planned pregnancy (miscarriage), since a miscarriage occurs due to circumstances beyond the woman's control, and she goes to an abortion consciously.

In addition to feelings of guilt and regret for the lost child, severe depression in women who have had an abortion develops due to betrayal of a partner... After all, if a man is happy with pregnancy, does not insist on an abortion and does not disappear from a woman's life upon the news of pregnancy, a woman goes for an abortion much less often.

Another cause of depression can be woman's uncertainty about the future: uncertainty that she will be able to subsequently become pregnant and bear a healthy child (such cases, indeed, are not uncommon), or the fear that she will have to go through an abortion sometime in the future.

Symptoms Characterizing Post-Abortion Depression

The physical health of a woman after an abortion is restored within a few weeks. For two months, hormonal imbalance, which is characteristic of pregnancy, may persist. However, a woman's emotional state can deteriorate greatly. Even if the pregnancy was undesirable for social or other reasons, even if the abortion was not spontaneous, but was well thought out, after the loss of the child, severe depression can develop.

Symptoms that characterize depression include:

visions, hallucinations, nightmares reminiscent of a lost child;
inability to remember the abortion and the events that are associated with it;
rejection of relationships, isolation, alienation, inability to experience love;
insomnia;
feelings of hopelessness and guilt;
thoughts about leaving life;
eating disorder;
irritability;
violations in the sexual sphere;
abuse of sedatives, alcohol or other psychoactive substances.

The severity of symptoms of depression depends on the duration of pregnancy, the reasons for the abortion, the relationship with the partner, the influence on the decision-making of the relatives.

The woman feels guilty, anxiety about her future begins to visit her, she believes that she did not pay enough attention to her health, behaved incorrectly, made some fatal mistakes. In especially emotional (more often young) girls, fear and hopelessness can consume all thoughts. And, almost everyone, the question arises: what will happen next?

If you feel that such symptoms can be applied to you, you need to start taking measures to treat depression: seek help from specialists (general practitioner, psychotherapist, medical psychologist).

It is impossible to completely get rid of the negative state after an abortion, but every woman is quite capable of reducing post-abortion depression.

A woman who has had an abortion should understand that there are many ways to free herself from suffering and regain her joy in life. However, under no circumstances should you resort to using alcohol or drugs. Such "soul treatment" will inevitably aggravate depression, and also promise many new health and social problems.

The best way to overcome depression after an abortion is to genuinely accept help from your loved ones. Only kind words and support from family members are a unique and the only acceptable way to get rid of negative feelings in this state. Do not give up on it, but accept it completely and completely.

Of course, along with this, there are a number of effective psychological techniques that help to overcome this condition. These techniques and methods include:

The realization that this is just a depressive state of the body, and not a way of your future life. And like any state, it will end someday. Pain is forgotten, suffering is forgotten, and life follows its course.
Limit yourself from negative information as much as possible. Do not watch horror movies, crime news, etc.
Adjust your meals. Usually, in such a situation, appetite disappears. And when the body stops taking vital vitamins and minerals, the physical condition deteriorates, which also leads to a deterioration in the psyche.
Normalize sleep. Be active during the day, being distracted by everyday problems. And after pleasant fatigue, you can safely fall asleep at night.
Encourage yourself to be active. The hardest fight is the fight with yourself. You must take your emotions into a fist and plan your next steps.
Let as much light as possible into your life! Be outside during the day, turn on the bright room lighting in the evening, you can also go on vacation.
Seek understanding and respect from the people around you. This is a great way to gradually return to your old path of life and continue living in the old way.

Some psychotherapists and psychologists recommend protecting yourself from communication with children during this period, because they cause memories, nervousness, breakdowns. But the psyche of every woman is individual. For some, children's laughter gets on the nerves, while others, on the contrary, are touched and happy. Here you will have to decide for yourself.

Psychologists say that community service or charity works very well to cope with depression after an abortion. You can help volunteers, or you can volunteer to work as an educator in an orphanage.

When deciding how to survive depression after an abortion, do not forget that life does not end, it is just that a woman gains some new experience (albeit not the most positive one), after which a bright streak will invariably come.

The article was prepared by: teacher-psychologist Mytnitskaya Yu.O.

Psychological assistance after an abortion

Psychological assistance after an abortion.

What happens to a woman after an abortion, when the child is no more.

But women cannot express them in a socially acceptable form, mourn, bury, grieve with other people, receive consolation. The wound is bleeding, and the woman does not know how to heal it.

This condition, the inability to express feelings and cope with anger, pain, fear and guilt, the inability to accept the murder of a child, is called post-abortion syndrome.

Post-abortion syndrome can take on completely different disguises:

depression,
apathy,
sadness and uncontrollable tears,
tantrums
resentment
memories of the abortion caused by anything seen or heard
feelings of grief arising on the anniversary of the abortion or the child's intended birthday,
self-flagellation,
anxiety,
fear of the future
increased irritability
guilt that I live, but the child does not,
suppression of thoughts of abortion,
avoiding situations, places, people reminiscent of abortion,
rejection of men, rejection of close relationships,
emotional detachment from loved ones,
coldness and cruelty to their own children,
dislike of pregnant women and children
aggression towards doctors, towards persons involved in the decision on abortion,
promiscuous sex
bad dream
nightmares,
lack of appetite or overeating
decreased sex drive,
thoughts of suicide
alcohol and drug abuse

Post-abortion syndrome can also be experienced by men, children, doctors, consultants, all those people who somehow faced this, participated in making a decision or implementing it.

This is a crisis state for a woman and in her experience of loss she goes through the same stages:

Negation accomplished, the woman's feelings are not expressed, there is detachment and numbness.

Depression, loss of interest in life, and all of the above manifestations of PAS

Adoption, it comes when other stages of mourning are fully passed, and feelings are manifested and realized.

This is not always the case in women after an abortion. And she gets stuck at the previous stage in its various manifestations.

What psychological help and who can provide a woman who has undergone an abortion:

It can be different people: relatives and friends, psychologist and priest.

On different levels of awareness and acceptance: on psychological or sincere and spiritual.

The more resources a woman uses, the easier it will be for her to cope.

After an abortion on the part of loved ones, it is desirable:

Be there when you need it
To be close, to be there when necessary. For a woman to know that there is support, she just needs to call
Give the opportunity to be alone if a woman wants it
Talk to her about your attitude and your feelings
Discuss her condition and her feelings with her.

It is important for the woman herself:

Don't push the pain and pretend everything is fine
Give vent to emotions, cry, scream, give vent to anger, tears
Determine the circle of trusted persons who will be able to support and understand, will not stand aside
If there are fears that others whom you do not want to devote will be recognized, it may be possible to limit the circle of communication for a while, give yourself time to be alone, or only with loved ones.
Talk about your feelings, what worries, what you think about it
If loved ones do not want to hear about it, understand, they also have protection from worries, and before talking about themselves, ask what they think and feel
If relatives do not know and do not need to find out, or do not want to speak at all, find any stranger, for example. a psychologist or a priest, and talk to him about it

What a woman should think about and what questions to answer frankly:

Realize the consequences of an abortion: recognize the murdered child, precisely that it was a child, and not a clot of matter
Recognize that the pain she is experiencing is related to the loss of a child and mourn for her
Use an outward expression of sadness, mourning, as much as possible
Deal with suppressed feelings: grief, guilt, anger, loneliness, ambivalent attachment to lost children
Understand how the loss affected your life
Forgive people: husband, parents, friends, health workers, other people who did not support or incline to this act
Forgive yourself and receive forgiveness from God
Switching from painful experiences to a positive attitude
Be willing to come to terms with your experience and receive healing
The opportunity to revisit your life, see the picture of your life as a whole and learn to perceive it in a new light
Discover the meaning of what happened and allow God to transform the experience into a desire to find hope, peace and liberation
Make up for what was done in a positive direction.

Women can go through these milestones or stages for overcoming negative experiences or healing, both themselves and with the help of a psychologist.

For professional psychological assistance, you can briefly outline the stages of work:

Admitting the killing of a child and responding to feelings.
The return of the child to the family system.
Determination of the guilt of the participants in the event and their forgiveness.
Accepting forgiveness from a child, from God.
Choice of possible reimbursement.

Methods used in psychological work: Genogram, "Family Sociogram", "Diary of Events", "Letter to a Child", etc.

Based on this, the work of a psychologist with experiences after an abortion will inevitably touch upon such topics as attitude towards oneself, relationship with mother, etc.

Therefore, the decision to refuse abortion in the future is an indicator of positive changes in the mental organization of a woman.

The former feelings, having opened, are replaced by new ones, the former thoughts and intentions, when realized, bring good fruit.

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The most discussed topic of abortion recently began to appear more and more often on women's forums, because this is not just an ordinary operation like appendicitis, but much more serious, because its consequences are very difficult to survive emotionally. Being a mother is the mission of every woman, which is laid down by nature itself. The girl grows up and becomes a woman capable of bearing and giving birth to a child, but sometimes such events still happen when you have to go against nature.

Consequences of abortion

It is very important to recover from the experience and find peace of mind, even if confusion, pain in the soul does not allow to live calmly, it is necessary to establish an emotional state so that the past no longer bothers and let go of the situation as inevitable.
It is possible that it will take a long time to settle your emotional and mental state, but in any case, you need to conduct a mental dialogue with yourself in order to explain to yourself the reason and calm down. It's good when there are relatives and friends nearby who can support, say warm words, help to understand yourself and your deed. Of course, it is easier to survive an abortion for those who had to do it due to the inability to endure, contraindications for pregnancy or rape. After all, then, a woman can do practically nothing to give birth to a healthy and live baby.

How to avoid post-abortion syndrome

Self talk. It is very important to sit down and think carefully about the reasons that prompted the abortion, about the circumstances that could not have developed otherwise. You do not need to reproach yourself and say "if only", blame for what is happening and empty your brain, you need to let it go like the past. If it’s really hard, then it’s better to cry a lot and cross this line, start living again.
Forgive yourself. It is very important to receive forgiveness from your soul for this act, sincerely and with all emotions to express a request for forgiveness to yourself and your baby, you can go to church and repent of your sin.
Find good reasons. We are just people and often make mistakes, so we need to find the reasons that will determine the action and help in the fight against self-flagellation.
Do not withdraw into yourself. Walking down the street with friends, loved ones, more often in the company, in the fresh air. Fresh news and conversations will breathe strength and energy into life, one has only to give loved ones access to their feelings, fears, all emotions. If you have a loved one, then experiencing this incident together is much easier than one, because the support of a loved one and affectionate words will help better than any treatment from the best psychologists.