Is it possible to get married 2 times. How to get married a second time. Start a new relationship from scratch

22.09.2019

Many women after a failed marriage that ended in divorce are afraid to go down the aisle again. Of course, they have nothing against legalized relationships and continue to dream of a family, but a sense of fear that history will repeat itself stops them from re-registering marriage. On the contrary, it seems to others that a woman who has experience of family life behind her is much more competent in matters of marriage than a woman who has never been married.

And a divorced woman has every chance to make her second marriage happy. Unfortunately, this is a misconception. Just the same, a failed first marriage overshadows a woman’s idea of a happy family life and does not help, but rather prevents her from creating a new family. Most divorced women do not know where to start, how to meet, where to meet, how to behave? After all, they are not looking for a man to have a good time, their goal is a potential husband, and this time the husband is almost perfect ...

How to find a husband, not a lover

Start looking for a candidate for a husband at work. If you have an exclusively female team, you should think about changing jobs. If you are a housewife or work from home, consider a new team job. And don't take this advice with a grain of salt. The thing is that many divorced women have one or more children, and they absolutely do not have time to run around clubs and bars to get to know someone. And according to statistics, every fourth divorced woman is married to a work colleague. And this is logical if a woman practically does not go anywhere and her life proceeds according to the scheme - "home-work-home-work".

The next indispensable condition that will help you get to know a man faster is not to wear a wedding ring. It is paradoxical, but many women continue to wear an engagement ring after a divorce. Most people think that with an engagement ring they do not look abandoned and lonely. This is another misconception. An engagement ring first of all says that you are not free, and for many unmarried men, it can be a reason for refusing to get to know you.

Be sure to sort out your feelings for your ex-husband, if you are suffering from a breakup, often call him up, meet, which means that you are not ready for a new relationship yet. You need to let go of your ex and become psychologically and emotionally completely free. Only then will you be able to build a fulfilling relationship with another man.

After a divorce, many women give up and begin to convince themselves that they are ugly, not sexy, not interesting. So that your ex-husband does not tell you, and even if another woman became the reason for parting, you have not ceased to be charming and attractive. Pay as much attention as possible to your appearance, it's no secret that for men, visual perception comes first.

Take a look at your male friends. The mistake of many women in stubbornly ignoring worthy applicants from a close and familiar environment. You're not expecting an overseas prince, are you? The statistics just indicate that more than 12% of women marry their longtime acquaintances for the second time, 7% - for acquaintances of their ex-husband and 2% meet completely by accident or through marriage agencies.

Communication is essential for getting to know each other. Therefore, the more you go out into the world, the faster you will find your soul mate. Do not refuse the invitation of friends to go to the cinema or the theater, go to nature or just take a walk in the park. You can dream about the upcoming acquaintance as much as you like, but sitting at home on the couch you will not be able to meet and interest a man. Tune in to the positive and stop convincing yourself that now no one needs you. And stop being embarrassed by your age, nowadays in every 11th couple a man is 6-8 years younger than his wife, and in every 9th husband is 2-4 years younger than his wife. The age of a woman is not a hindrance to a happy marriage!

If you want to part with your husband, but are afraid to be alone, and therefore, with a legitimate husband, look for a replacement for him, you are doing the wrong thing. According to psychologists, you need to go not to someone, but from someone. As a married woman, you can only count on a short-term affair, as a rule, a man starts dating a married woman because he is sure that he has no obligations to her.

Don't repeat old mistakes

So that the second marriage does not look like the first, you need to analyze all your mistakes made during the years of marriage and learn from them. The easiest way is to convince yourself that it was not your fault for the breakup, and you just got such a husband, that he had a lot of shortcomings, and that is why the marriage broke up. Of course, who wants to admit that the reason for the betrayal of your spouse was a banal unwillingness on your part to take care of yourself and see yourself, first of all, as a woman.

Having decided on a second marriage, weigh all the pros and cons, you should not run headlong down the aisle just because you are far from being a young girl or because your child liked your new admirer. Only a cold mind and common sense will help you make the right decision, so try to calm your emotions and soberly assess all the advantages and disadvantages of a new partner. Keep in mind that in front of you is an adult man who may also have a failed marriage behind him, do not think that you can easily change him. Pay attention to the fact that you are also an already formed personality and are unlikely to adapt to it, ask yourself what does not suit you in it, and can you live with it?

Deciding on a second marriage, think about why you need it? Just to have someone to nail the shelf and fix the faucet? Or do you need material support, or because all your girlfriends have husbands? Having defined your priorities, it will be easier for you to choose a candidate for the role of husband. The next step is to distribute roles in the family. This should be done before marriage, not after. Perhaps you were not satisfied with the role of a nurse-nanny in marriage, and your second spouse sees you in this particular role, it is better to dot the “Y” before you stamp your passport. Most importantly, do not step on the same rake, unfortunately, half of divorced women marry a second time for an exact copy of their first spouse. Be objective, having parted with a womanizer, you should not seek acquaintance with an impulsive, charming and sexual extrovert. Psychologists are sure that the only way to create a successful family after an unsuccessful first marriage is to understand your own internal attitudes.

In our time, a second marriage is not uncommon. Women treat him more responsibly than the first, so as not to repeat the mistakes made. But the question arises, what to marry again, whether it is necessary to wear a beautiful dress and arrange a chic ceremony.

Should I wear a white dress or not?

If you believe the beliefs, then our grandmothers, great-grandmothers, etc. did not have the right to wear a white dress and veil for a second marriage. After all, they were considered a symbol of purity. But times change and so do traditions. Modern brides, regardless of the number of marriages, choose original outfits. They can be either white or in different shades.

Each woman decides for herself what outfit to choose.

Give preference to modest and elegant outfits, restrained and concise style. To create an image, add some accessories: rhinestones, a scattering of stones, etc.
Go beyond the traditional. If the bride does not want to be at the celebration in a wedding dress, then you can try on a suit or other outfit.
You can choose the color of the dress in any shades. But if a woman believes in signs or is afraid of condemnation from guests, then the white outfit can be replaced with other colors, mostly pastel colors are preferred - beige, light blue, pale pink, etc.
Imagine the situation, at the first marriage, the bride was embarrassed to wear a dress with a bare back or a deep neckline, although she really wanted to. Then, getting married again, the dream must be translated into reality.
Wearing or not wearing a veil is an individual matter. Many designers recommend wearing a diadem, hat, veil, etc. instead of this accessory.

But the main idea is that no matter what dress the bride marries for the second time - bright red or the color of baked milk, it is important that she be happy at that moment.

Second marriage - non-traditional outfit options

A second marriage is a great chance to realize your unfulfilled dreams. White dress for the second marriage, the bride wears at will. Here are some examples of similar options for outfits that are suitable for a celebration:

Beautiful elegant suit, can be both a trouser version and a skirt. Ideal for strict women. You can choose a bright color, such as blue, and in light colors. The presence of a jacket will only emphasize the image more. Perfect for a retro themed wedding.

Evening or cocktail dress, preferably with a strict cut, moderately decorated with sequins and other accessories.

White dress with sleeves, perfect for winter. The bride will look amazing. Long sleeves combined with sequins and lace appliqués is a really beautiful classic choice for a wedding dress, adding sophistication and sophistication.

For bold and slender women, you can always choose a dress with an open back. There are a number of stunning details that make this outfit simply gorgeous.

A short, strapless lace dress is perfect for brides who want something simple yet feminine. Lace appliqués and beads provide a stunning and elegant dress design. Perfect for spring and summer weddings that will allow you to dance freely and move effortlessly.

A bride who wants to avoid the traditional look of a wedding dress at her second marriage can opt for a chic jumpsuit instead. A row of crystal embellishments along the waist just completes the look.

For a bride who has a slender figure and a pronounced waist, you can safely choose tight-fitting dresses.

A fluffy wedding dress can always be worn. Moreover, if the bride dreamed about him all her life, so why should she refuse.

Wedding dresses for brides over 30

If a woman after 30 thinks that a beautiful outfit for remarriage is not necessary and the age is not the same, then she is deeply mistaken. For any age, no matter how old the bride is, 20 or 50, you need to choose an original dress. The future wife will have not only a stunning look, but also beautiful photos. Here are some examples of formal dresses for adult brides:

With a straight cut that flatters the figure, this dress is the perfect choice for women who want something traditional and stunning.
An extravagant outfit will make the image of the bride chic and sexy. You can wear a suit or a short dress, depending on your preference.

Choose an outfit based on the features of the figure, and not on age, so that it would be comfortable and easy. A second marriage is another reason to feel the happiest, so don't be afraid to experiment. If you really want to wear a white dress and veil, then wear it. Signs, let them remain in the past. The main thing is good mood and love.

Some may wonder - is it really this question: "Is it possible to get married a second time?" - worries many women? After all, marriage itself is a problem for some. But in fact, the expression of my wise grandmother “to get married does not attack, if only you are not married to the abyss” has the most relevant meaning. This article is for girls and women of any age!

Who of us married for love or even for convenience (the calculation is not necessarily expressed in money) and could not protect ourselves from divorce often feels the bitterness of disappointment in the institution of marriage as a whole. And in vain! You need to overcome the fear of past failures. As a friend of mine used to say - you need to get married as many times as they offer! And only strong women are capable of such feats!

Many of us have experienced all sorts of crises in relationships with men. At first they (men) strenuously wooed us, beautifully led us to the wedding, and then after a couple of - three years they suddenly took off a little higher (with our loving support!) And oh my! Well, of course, somehow we are no longer approaching the flight of their imagination. Namely, this is how men behave, who did not initially love with all their hearts. Well, it's good that fate, albeit in such a cruel way, separates these short-lived couples of ours.

And every optimist of our female sex will sooner or later ask himself the question - is it possible to get married a second time? How realistic is this? The answer is really simple. Of course yes! And at any age and with any number of children. The most important thing is our personal firm desire! And for this you need to let go of past relationships and not be afraid of change.

Is it possible to get married a second time? If you need it - yes! Instruction for ladies

In order to understand how far you have moved away from past relationships in the status of a wife and whether you are ready again for a family hearth, I propose to think a little on these topics.
If you are thinking about remarriage, then you are a family woman in essence, by nature, and you will definitely meet your true soul mate. If you are a married woman, you like to cook, create comfort and meet your husband, like-minded, dear person - he will definitely appear in your life. No need to be ashamed of your feminine desires.
We women, as always, have a lot of strict questions for ourselves. Someone is already subconsciously ready for a new relationship, but there is no certainty that everything will be better, more correct, and after all, the separation happened not so long ago - how will the relatives react, and how to find out if this is a worthy man. The one who began to show signs of attention to you after breaking up with her first husband.
Many of us have those men with whom we communicated either from childhood, adolescence, even friends of our former partner - husband. After the news of your divorce from your husband spreads, some of them will definitely activate. Or even you towards them. Well, I want to cry, to speak out on a man's (but not completely outsider's) shoulder.
Don't worry, this is just a transitional period that every woman goes through after a breakup. It means that you are ready for further relationships and possibly remarriage. Each of us has a different period of time. Someone grieves, suffers or gets angry for years, and sometimes a woman blossoms after a divorce and quickly rehabilitates. After all, everyone has their own reasons for which you are.
As a rule, after a discord in a relationship, our own self-esteem is tested for strength. Doubts and worries make themselves felt. ! By the way, maybe she’s already on top of you, it’s just that the wrong person was nearby and you realized it in time. And every wise woman can slowly get rid of an unloved man.
Whatever happens in past relationships, you should always remember that this is your baggage and experience.

Your advantages from the first marriage, which you can not argue with!

No. 1. You know what family life is.

No matter how long your first marriage lasted, you already know what and how it really is. Family life is not only a question - "Who will wash the dishes?" It is also to see each other in everyday life. You're without makeup and your stomach hurts. He has an unshaven face and is angry at quitting smoking for you. You have already digested these moments and treat them naturally, without fanaticism. This is life and you already know.

No. 2. You know how to please a man.

Whatever happened during courtship, marriage, and even during parting, your husband (already ex) was definitely pleased. Because you, during this joint period of your life, learned to cook his favorite dishes and get along with his relatives. Not to mention somersaults in bed! Now at least you are more experienced than in your first marriage, and now it is up to you to decide how to use this experience and for whom to apply it.

No. 3. You know what you want from marriage.

Now you understand that the phrase from fairy tales is “Happy ending. They merried!" means just the beginning. The beginning of life in the family and everything connected with it. Trust, loyalty, openness and honesty in relationships have become of great importance to you. You want to feel that you and your personality, see admiration in his eyes and also be proud of him in front of your surroundings. One of the signs of a successful marriage is the willingness to adapt to each other (rather than redo it again). You appreciate the mutual desire to show feelings, tenderness, care as a sign of marital maturity.

To understand yourself and gain the courage to remarry, answer honestly to 12 questions and evaluate the result.

This test shows how attached you are to your past husband. INChoose one of the options - A, B, C.

1. Are you in any relationship with your ex-husband?

No, it would be very hard for me to see him. BUT
We do not communicate, but I would not refuse to drink coffee every six months. B
Yes, there is some attraction left, and we even have sex. IN

2. How would you describe the feelings and sensations you get when you think about your ex-partner?

Resentment and innuendo. BUT
Light sadness and gratitude. B
From love to hate - one step, back and forth. IN

3. Do you think about the appearance of a new man in your life?

I don't want anything, but I wouldn't mind if someone showed up - to distract me. BUT
I am in active search, and new men are already on the horizon. B
For me, this is tantamount to treason, although I understand that we broke up. IN

4. How do you see life without an ex-partner?

Worrying. But finally I can do what I want, and no one will control me. BUT
I am optimistic about the future, although I may need to be alone. B
All in grey. IN

5. When you imagine his life without you...

I feel anxiety and guilt - how will he cope without me? BUT
I think he will be fine. B
I really can't imagine his life without me. IN

6. Thinking about your ex having a different...

My feelings are conflicted. On the one hand, I understand that this is normal, on the other hand, I am very annoyed. BUT
In general, such a thought does not cause violent emotions in me. Although, perhaps, I would prefer not to know about it. B
I feel intense jealousy. IN

7. What events preceded your separation?

We parted several times and met again, but the same problems began. BUT
There was some period of uncertainty - and not together, and not apart. But it soon became clear that it was all over. B
I don't think anything special happened. So now I'm thinking about giving the relationship another chance. IN

8. Do you have a desire to take revenge on an ex-man?

Sometimes I want to prick him more painfully so that he understands how hard it was for me. BUT
If there was a desire for revenge, it has already passed. B
Oh yeah! I would love to burn his car! IN

9. You broke up because...

It was impossible to endure quarrels, showdowns and problems with sex. BUT
He's just not my person. B
This man is not at all what he seemed at first - I was terribly disappointed. IN

10. What do you do now in your free time?

I went into work and hobbies. But sometimes you want to cry to your friend about your difficult fate. BUT
I enjoy going on dates, talking with friends. And it's nice to be alone from time to time. B
I can’t find a place for myself, I constantly remember the past, sort through photos. IN

11. How do you evaluate the segment of life in which your ex was the main character?

It seems to me that so much effort was wasted, which in the end did not lead to anything. BUT
I have gained invaluable experience. B
This is a time that is best forgotten like a bad dream. IN

12. To be honest, you would like your ex to:

He would admit that he, too, is sorry that the relationship ended, and would apologize for the pain he caused. BUT
Live your life and live well. B
Despite everything, he continued to love me. IN

Count what answers do you have more?

More than A - AND NOT TOGETHER AND NOT SEPARATE

Perhaps your romance is over, but only formally. . You try to save the relationship by renaming it to friendship, a new love does not appear or begins to subtly resemble the previous one. In order to finally free yourself from the burden of a past relationship, you need to allow yourself to get angry (because the breakup caused you so much pain) and be sad (the good that was between you has gone too). It is also useful to think about what these relationships taught you, what was their meaning. When you feel some gratitude towards your ex for an important part of your life experience, it will mean that you are ready to finally let go of the past and move forward to new love.

More B - THINGS LONG Gone

This novel is finally and irrevocably finished. You have learned all the necessary lessons from the past, that is, with your own hands, you have increased the likelihood that the next relationship will be more successful. Experiencing the pain of parting, you opened up to emotions and, in spite of everything, managed to keep in your heart and not devalue the good that undoubtedly was. A man, without whom until recently it was impossible to imagine the future, now lives his own life. And you are able to sincerely wish him happiness, without you. You have learned to rely on your inner resources in a difficult situation. It will certainly pay off in a new relationship that you are ready for and may have already begun.

More B - LOVE ADDICTION

You are in the power of emotions - resentment, guilt, jealousy, anger. It is difficult for you to control yourself, it is difficult to look at the situation from the outside. The former partner today seems to be an absolute ideal, and tomorrow - a hated scoundrel. Perhaps you are tormented by the desire to fix everything, to give your relationship another chance. Or, on the contrary, you are trying to erase everything connected with this man from your memory. In other words, you can't be called a free person. Right now, you are a hostage to your feelings. This state of affairs can last for quite some time. This is a sign that you are trying to avoid the realization of the fact of loss, which is likely to bring pain. But until you admit to yourself that everything is over, until you stop running away from reality, you will be dependent and unhappy. and try to understand: parting is a fait accompli. For support, contact your loved ones or a psychologist.

If, as a result of an honest dialogue with yourself, you have the vast majority of “B” answers and almost no “A” slips (and there are no “C” answers at all!) - it means that you have already said goodbye to an unsuccessful past!

This is already half the battle - the main half! Having let go of past grievances, a person is ready for a new relationship, this is a natural life process. And if you really like to “be with your husband” (yes, for your husband!), A worthy man is just around the corner. Don't miss it! Good luck!

"The second marriage is a chance for happiness. Now the former (former) will not bother, and everything will be different in the new family!" - so many people think, having decided to remarry or marry. However, changing a sexual partner rarely leads to positive results, since whether a person is happy in marriage or not depends largely on himself. For many, a second marriage is like a second year in the classroom, when you have to re-learn everything that you went through and make the same mistakes.

Statistically, 80% second marriages end in divorce. Newly created marriages break up more often than the first ones. There is even an opinion that if a man's first marriage turned out to be a mistake, the second wife will pay for it. But despite guaranteed suffering, many people get divorced, get back together and get divorced again. Looking for happiness. Is it possible in remarriages?

To second marriage did not become a copy of the first, it is necessary, first of all, to change your attitude towards the first, which ended in divorce. This means that in order to live happily in a second marriage, you must properly divorce the first. Divorce always leads to nervous tension, stress, and therefore it is always a loss. The former is alive, but he is not around. If the spouses came to a common opinion and divorced peacefully, then they have no claims against each other.

And if one of spouses does not agree to a divorce, then hatred for another, long suffering, disappointment and self-pity are inevitable. In this case, the divorce looks like a whole tragedy, which is accompanied by insults and a shameful division of property. If pain after such a breakup remains with a person, then this is a sign that he divorced badly and he will drag this negative experience into a second marriage.

Happiness comes to the happy people and an unhappy person cannot find happiness. This means that you can not enter into a second marriage for the purpose of revenge on the former or to forget him. If you are sure that you yourself are fluffy and white, and the former is a "goat", then you should not marry a second time. Because your second husband will be the same "goat". Our chosen ones live up to our expectations. Everyone gets what he wants and next to him is the person he deserves.

Though hoping human who enters into a second marriage, that he will never step on the same rake again, in fact, he steps on them. Of course, he does this unconsciously, not wanting it himself. For example, "chronic wives of alcoholics" are common. These are women who are disappointed and tired of life, who see themselves as positive only against the background of a person who drinks, does not work anywhere, or is sick.

Psychologically, it is beneficial for her, against the backdrop of a weak partner she herself seems good and successful. In order to assert herself, she constantly criticizes her drunken husband with the words: “You ruined my life”, “I put up with you so much”, “I pulled you out of the mud”, etc. Yes, she endured, but the thought - how good I am, and how bad he is - gave her the resource to live on.

Often men, married for the second time, compares his wife with the first: “Why don’t you cook the same way as she”, “You are the same as she”, “She didn’t scream at the child like you ...”. There is no end to this. In the subconscious of a divorced man, there is always the image of his first wife, and he can no longer return to her because of resentment. The second wife, of course, does not like this behavior of her husband, she increasingly wants to send him to the first, but instead she endures and tries with all her might to be better than the first. In the end, her patience comes to an end and another divorce occurs.

The next reason for the lack of understanding between spouses in the second marriage are children from the first marriage. It seems to a man that he will love other people's children as his own, but children cannot perceive him as a father. He is a stranger to them. Women also think that they will become good mothers for their husband's children, but they already have a mother and do not need another. And if the children demonstrate such rejection for a long time, then after a year or two from the second marriage there is not even a wet place left.

To avoid re-divorce, you need to talk with the children immediately after the conclusion of the second marriage and discuss with them all the nuances of how they see cohabitation. Very often, dads, having heard from their children that the second wife mistreats them, feel guilty. Children do not get tired of repeating how they felt good with their mother, but they feel bad with their stepmother. It is necessary to explain to the children that their mother is no more, and the second wife will always be with them. Explain to your husband that it is not his fault and he does not need to make excuses. If he adequately divorced his first wife or she is no longer alive, then there should be no feeling of guilt.

Of course, happy second marriages also happen, but only when a divorce becomes a reason to realize your mistakes and change for the better. And if this happens, spouses in the second marriage feel happier. It is important to understand that luck never comes just like that. Love and happiness also need to be built, protected and cherished. It is like soil, which, if not loosened and fertilized constantly, nothing on it will grow and bear fruit. So a person must change, develop and remake himself. His views on life and behavior must change as he works on the mistakes that he made earlier, then he can come to happiness in a second marriage.

Do not be afraid to repeat past mistakes, a person is not perfect, and the search love And happiness- these are convincing arguments to try to start over and get married a second time.

Folk wisdom says that you cannot enter the same water twice. Therefore, if you are disappointed in your first marriage and therefore do not remarry, you are making a mistake. Statistically, the percentage of successful second marriages is much higher than the percentage of successful first marriages. This situation is observed because the second partner is usually chosen more consciously. With age, a woman understands exactly what kind of partner she needs. And, as a rule, he finds just such.

The only thing left to do is to organize a wedding celebration. But it is precisely on this occasion that brides have a lot of questions. You will find answers to all these questions in our article. Advice is given by professional psychologists and women who have experienced a second marriage.

Who and when to tell about your second engagement?

Decided to go out second time married ? And you do not know how and when to tell your friends, relatives, colleagues and ex-spouse about it? Psychologists advise to adhere to the following sequence:

If you have children (whether they live with you or not), they should be the first to know about your engagement.

The next person to know about your engagement is your ex-spouse. Promise him that you will continue to take good care of the children and consider their best interests.

Your parents should also be among those who will be warned first. After that, you can tell your close friends about the engagement. And one more thing: think about whether it is worth inviting to the wedding the same guests who were present at your first marriage.

Who you want to invite to your wedding is up to you and only you and your fiancé, and not your parents, as it was the first time.

- “I informed my relatives and relatives of my ex-husband about the second wedding (after all, there are good people among them with whom we remained on friendly terms, despite the divorce). But I didn’t want to see my ex-husband either that day or the next, so it didn’t even occur to me to notify him about the wedding. Svetlana, 25 years old.

“I told all my friends and strangers about my second wedding, only I hid this news from my daughter. When Masha realized that I was going to get married again, she asked me a question that either confused me or confused me. She asked: "Mom, where will I stand at the wedding?" I couldn't give her an intelligible answer...” Arina, 34 years old.

How to dress the bride?

What should a bride who is getting married for the second time wear?

Experts advise:

If you want to wear a white dress, that's your right. Most wedding consultants will say that this is perfectly acceptable, but they will advise you to go without a veil. Most second-married brides adorn their hair with flowers or jewelry.

When choosing a wedding dress, consider the scope of your ceremony. For an informal wedding evening, you can choose a cream or pastel-colored dress, or even a short one. If you are having a formal ceremony, then it is better to wear a long dress in a color that you like and that matches your holiday.

- “My friend Natasha bought a gray evening dress with an interesting metallic sheen for her second wedding. The hairdresser said that she was a witness, not a bride, and she was given an original hairstyle. It turned out unusual and elegant. The guests squealed with delight! Diana, 27 years old.

- “I got married a second time in a blue dress. She didn't cover her hair. But my friend got married in a white long dress with a crinoline, in a hat with a veil - all an honor in honor. So choose whatever you want and whatever you can afford.” Angela, 31 years old.

“I am in my second marriage. Everything is great. At the wedding, I was in a long white dress, white flowers in my hair, without a veil.

The husband was in a tuxedo. The ceremony was very beautiful and solemn. Do everything the way you want it, do not pay attention to those who say "accepted - not accepted". You deserve a holiday! Julia, 26 years old.

A lavish ceremony or a modest party?

If you had a magnificent wedding for the first time, do you need to arrange a similar holiday for the second time, or can you get by with gatherings in a narrow circle? Psychologists advise:

Keep your second wedding modest, if that's what you want. If you've been married before, but this is your spouse's first marriage, ask him what kind of wedding he wants and let him do it.

Your wedding should reflect your own style and taste. If the first wedding is done on the basis of the experience of the parents, then at the second wedding you can afford everything that you wanted, but could not arrange at the first.

- “I got married a second time in a long pink dress. Without a veil. The wedding was done modestly - for 10 people (for the husband it was the third marriage). During the solemn ceremony, I doubled over with laughter: they said the same words, with the same intonations as the first time. If I happen to go out for the third time, I don’t want any wedding, we’ll just put a stamp, and that’s enough. Alina, 32 years old.

“I was against marriage. For me, my feelings and his feelings were much more important. But my chosen one - young, handsome, previously unmarried - firmly stood his ground: marriage - wedding - change of surname. We decided to go to the registration together, so I bought chic trousers and a beautiful low-cut white sweater. When we left the registry office, we were met by our friends (I was pleasantly surprised). They celebrated the wedding in several stages: first with relatives, then with friends, then at my work, and, finally, at his company. They stretched out the holiday for about a month. I advise everyone!” Nadia, 29 years old.

Honeymoon trip: how to choose a route?

Make your honeymoon an unforgettable experience, and it doesn't have to be like your first trip. Experts advise:

Choose a place to travel that will be far from your first trip and the first trip of your new spouse. For example, if you flew to Hawaii, and he flew to the Bahamas, this time, prefer a ski resort in Switzerland. Why not?

Go to a place where none of you have been before - it's interesting.

If you have children from previous marriages, find fun activities for them to enjoy while you enjoy your trip. And henceforth, you and your new husband need to find time for each other. Don't be tormented by guilt; the fate of your marriage may depend on it.

- “My husband really likes to relax in Cyprus. By the way, it was there that he flew during his first honeymoon trip. Misha offered to arrange our honeymoon trip there, but I categorically refused. As an alternative, we agreed on Thailand. Of course, we will not take children on a honeymoon trip - this is the time for the two of you. Marina, 28 years old.

“My husband and I decided to honeymoon in Turkey – neither of us had ever been there. We will leave the son with his grandmother, and on the next trips - with the whole family! Karina, 33 years old.

How fast should the family merger happen?

Sixty percent of those entering a second marriage have children. This means that more than two people are involved in the process of creating a new relationship, therefore, it is more likely that not everything will go smoothly. A large family cannot unite in an instant. Tune in to the fact that it will take a lot of time to create harmonious family relationships. Children will need 3-4 years to feel like full-fledged members of a new family. And yet, in order not to injure the children, do not prevent them from communicating with their biological father, at least for the first time after marriage.

“I got married many years ago. Both my husband and I had two children from previous marriages. Since I am a psychiatrist and my husband is a psychologist, we thought that the reunification of our families would be extremely successful. But we were wrong. There were a lot of problems, and it took us a long time to become truly family to each other.” Anna Vasilievna, 41 years old.

“Good relationships grow out of pleasant shared memories, the feeling of belonging to a small cell of society, the feeling that develops when you do something around the house together,” comments psychologist Emilia Vischer. “Developing your own rituals and traditions is an important characteristic of successful families.”

How not to repeat the mistakes of the first marriage?

“If you got divorced, you probably want the second marriage to be completely different from the first,” says Emilia Vischer. “But if you lost a husband with whom you lived well, then, apparently, you want everything it happened the same way. However, it should be noted that nothing ever repeats itself. The second marriage may be successful, but it will be different. "

Most likely, you have already understood that marital happiness is based on devotion, respect, and working together to build relationships. Surely, this time you have quite realistic expectations from your partnership and a desire to grow your relationship with patience, understanding and - love. Use some tips:

Don't focus on your mistakes. Give yourself the opportunity to start over with a clean slate.

Think of a romantic start to your life together. Be creative, figure out where you can go and what to do, so that it is not associated with ex-spouses.

Introduce each other to friends with whom you communicated before marriage.

Give your spouse time to let him know that you appreciate everything about him. At the same time, neither now, nor later, neither out loud, nor to yourself, do not compare the second husband with the first.

“You can think like this: “If I failed in my first marriage, can I make my second successful?” - comments Emilia Vischer. - I recommend that you treat the first failure as a failure of marriage, and not yours personally. After all, marriage is something that is created by the efforts of two people. So the interaction didn't work. Try to understand what led to the breakup of your first marriage, so as not to repeat the same mistakes in the second."

- “For the first time, I got married for the craziest love, which prevented me from examining my chosen one with a sober look. He seemed perfect to me, despite the fact that he drank black. Where were my eyes? There were not "pink glasses", but black, impenetrable, like a blind man's. Thank God it passes. But when this veil fell, I saw next to me a complete insignificance, from which I ran away without thinking for a long time. I believe that my second marriage is much more successful than the first. My husband and I fit each other in character, have similar habits and treat each other with respect. Therefore, my advice to brides: do not rush, you will have time for everything. As they say, you go quieter, you will continue. Margarita Petrovna, 45 years old.

Yulia Shchedrova,
founder of the Internet club "I want to marry"