Single parent = dysfunctional family? The opinion of psychologists. Raising a child by one parent. Problems of upbringing of preschool children in a modern family

20.09.2019

The statistics are relentless and it shows that the number of divorces is steadily increasing. People meet, fall in love, get married, have children, and ... disperse. This is the reality of our modern life. Whether divorce is an option, probably, everyone decides for himself, in his particular case. But the questions that any loving mother poses to herself are basically typical: how to raise a child in an incomplete family? How will it affect the child if he grows up without a father? How will life without an example of a father affect the boy's psychology? Is it important for a daughter and her full-fledged future family life that dad lives in a family? These questions often torment us, single mothers, for many years, and every problem in a child’s life painfully resonates in the soul “would there be a father, maybe this would not have happened.” So what is the role of a father in raising children really. No exaggeration and no understatement. Let's understand through system-vector thinking.

Raising a child without a father: what is it - a heavy cross or an opportunity to raise a healthy child?
In what cases is it better for a child to grow up without a father than with one?
Raising a child without a father - is there a difference in raising boys and girls without a father?

A woman, having felt the beating of a new life under her heart, at one moment realizes that now she is not alone and a new little man will soon appear in the world, whose life will turn out in many ways as she asks her upbringing. The huge responsibility that falls on her shoulders will now be carried by her incessantly for 18 years, and maybe all her life. What to do if you have to live without a father, how will this affect the child? Of course, no one wants such a scenario for themselves and their baby, but what if life itself decides in this way?

Some people have happy lives, while others don't. It happens that a man leaves a woman who is still pregnant, it also happens that a divorce is issued by mutual consent when the child is already an adult. Sometimes it happens that a woman herself is the first to think about a breakup, because a lot of things do not suit her. Misfortunes also happen - and in an instant the child remains an orphan without a father.

The stereotype that a child without a father, especially a boy, will not be able to grow up to be a full-fledged one has existed for a long time. Since childhood, we girls have been taught that a child should live in a complete family, otherwise it may underdevelop, not acquire the skills that will allow him to create his own full-fledged family in the future. After all, there are many such examples in life: how many single mothers have daughters who also become single mothers in the future? A lot of.

Thinking about raising a child without a father, we now and then come across stories right at our fingertips that seem to indicate that this will have a bad effect on the psychology of the child. What to do?

Don't panic. Not once at a time, as they say. In fact, it is quite easy to predict how a child will develop without a father. With system knowledge, we can more easily deal with this problem.

How do children perceive divorce?

Modern children live in different realities than we or our parents lived. If even 20-30 years ago in a class of 30 people there were only 1-2 students who are brought up in an incomplete family, then today everything is the other way around. The number of children who live in families without a father or with a "Sunday dad" is increasing like a snowball. And in general, they perceive the news of their parents' divorce in a different way. However, it is always necessary to make allowances for the vectors of the child, his psychotype.

The divorce of parents can be a big blow for a child with an anal vector. For anal people, a family where everything is decorous and noble, where mom is beautiful and bright, and dad is a strict and respected person - this is an ideal life. This is the stereotype that will always be supported by him. And his parents, his own mom and dad give him life in their own adult life. He is also hard to endure change, it is in his childhood that he needs a sense of security more than others. Sometimes, the anal baby feels that with the divorce of his parents, he will partially lose this security. Therefore, it is a child with an anal vector that needs to be introduced into the information that a family break is planned very carefully and thoroughly, gradually.

The rest of the children are easier to divorce. Of course, when a family collapses for any child, this is perceived as a threat to his safety, but still it cannot be said that life and raising a child without a father will become a crippling problem for them for life. A child with a skin vector easily perceives any changes and therefore quickly adapts to new circumstances. A child with a visual vector suffers from an emotional break with his dad, may yearn and grieve, miss his loved one.

But all these negative consequences of divorce can actually be easily eradicated and there are many opportunities for this: one of them is not to interfere with communication between children and father, at least occasionally, but better - more often, literally on a par with mom. Another rule, with all the resentment and hostility towards your ex-husband, you can not "lower" him in the eyes of the children, turn them against him, tell them your grievances, causing negative feelings.
Better without a father than with such

It is important to understand that there are times when, with external well-being in the family, for some children, in a sense, it is even better to be brought up in an incomplete family, only with their mother. Because, growing up in a family complete, but with negativity, they are given a bad scenario of life.

A normal father is indeed an important and necessary example for a child, but a bad father is also an example for a child. And often, trying, by all means, to raise a child in a complete family, we forget that in fact we are causing irreparable harm to him. A family where swearing and quarrels are constantly heard is not something a child should see every day.

So, a father with an anal vector can mentally cripple his skin-visual son, constantly squeezing the value of masculinity: "be like a man, not like a woman", he scares the boy, stops him in development.

The beatings that skin children endure from a too zealous anal father, for example, for petty childish theft, will also not lead to anything good. The skin, so tender and responsive in skin children, quickly takes the beating and bends flexibly under them. Masochism, a script for failure, pathological theft - all this can be expected of children with a skin vector who were beaten in childhood.

There is another negative scenario, it is given to a child with a sound vector. When parents yell at each other, call them bad names, the little sound guy lives in an unbearable world for himself and begins to gradually, as if disconnected from it, withdrawing more and more into himself, up to autism.

In a visual child, it is important to form a sense of kindness, mercy from a very early age. If the father intimidates the child, treats him with callousness, this hurts the visual vector.

It must be understood that any violence in the family that a child sees is always a psychological trauma. There is nothing worse for a child than to see a beating, physical violence against his own mother. Children, from birth, feel the mother as a guarantor of their safety and security. And if someone beats this guarantor before their eyes, then the foundation of his life collapses.

Divorce is not fatal, and raising in an incomplete family is hard, but normal

In general, with a normal approach, all children are able to understand that divorce is not fatal and not bad. It's just life and that's how it worked out in their family. And skin-visual children can gladly support the divorce of their parents. Very open, emotional, with the right approach and explanations, they can proudly declare even in the yard "Mom found the love of her life, and now we will live in another family."

When you raise a child alone, in addition to the role of mother, you also have to master the role of father in order to fill the void in the heart of the child. Surround the baby with care and respect, but do not try to compensate for the absence of dad with expensive gifts and momentary satisfaction of any whim and whim. Despite the circumstances, give him a happy childhood with positive emotions and impressions.

Raising a child is not easy, but rewarding work. A selection of tips on raising children, recommendations, answers to frequently asked questions on raising a child. Raising a child is a serious and responsible process, the quality of which determines the future of the child and the new generation as a whole. The upbringing and development of children as a discipline includes a wide range of topics - raising a child up to a year, preschool education of children, education and upbringing of children, programs for raising children, raising children by parents, moral education of children, physical education of children, etc.

1. Learn to listen to your child. You are the only person to whom he can trust his childhood experiences and problems. Often, mothers who raise a child themselves are only obsessed with the thought of how to provide for the family, not at all noticing the depressed mood of the baby. Be interested in his affairs at school, get to know the teacher to be aware not only about academic performance, but also about how his relationship with classmates develops.

2. Do not compensate for your lack of fulfillment in your personal life on the child (also resentment towards the father). After all, he will not become happier knowing that his father does not love either his mother or himself. It is better for the baby to learn this information, being older, when he can independently determine for himself the relationship with his father. As difficult as it may be, don't talk bad about his dad, just try to explain to your child that you're having insurmountable relationship difficulties and living apart is a mutual decision.

3. You can’t involve the baby in your family strife, therefore, after the break, do not limit the communication of the father with the child, do not make him the subject of blackmail or revenge on the ex-husband. Your baby should understand that his dad loves him and misses him, and not feel abandoned or unnecessary by him.

4. Happy mom, happy baby. Try not to show your child your bad mood, problems and emotional experiences. Instead, he needs to see a mother next to him, who lives a full and interesting life and fully enjoys it. After all, even a childish and such a gentle mind is able to catch the depressed mood of the mother, which in the future can serve as a serious reason for children's experiences and possible isolation, insecurity and complexes.

5. Include all grandparents, uncles and aunts in the process of raising and developing a child. The feeling that you are part of one large and friendly family has a positive effect on the behavior of the child and his emotional state. The love and care of family members will make the absence of a second parent less noticeable and exciting for your baby.

Prepared by healthyandbeloved.com Anastasia Sukhenko

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What are the dangers of harsh methods of raising a child?

Children whose parents use harsh parenting measures are more likely to be bullied by their peers at school. Professor Dieter Wolke, Suzette Lerea and Muthanna Samara from the University of Warwick (UK) conducted a study in which they processed data on 200,000 children. Researchers have found that negative or harsh parenting practices are associated with an increased risk of being bullied-victim.

Spring always pleases us with the first warm sun, but winter frosts and cold rains with snow still make themselves felt, so every parent should know how to dress a child in spring so that he does not catch a cold and gets the most out of a walk. We bring to your attention 8 recommendations on how to dress a child in spring: You should not wrap up a child too much when going for a spring walk, because it’s not winter anymore, a child dressed in two sweaters will quickly sweat and catch a cold.

The profession of the father affects the health of the unborn child

An international team of researchers from the United States and the Netherlands conducted a large-scale study, trying to identify the connection between a child's birth defects and his father's profession. It turned out that this dependence really exists. And to warn parents, scientists have compiled a list of professions, the impact of which is especially detrimental to the health of offspring. Scientists analyzed the medical records of 14,000 Americans who were born between 1997 and 2004.

How to raise a girl in an incomplete family

Raising a daughter alone means dooming her to loneliness? Anna Stefanova, head of the Positive Psychology Studio for Children and Adolescents, does not think so. Indeed, according to statistics, girls build their lives according to their mother's scenario. It happens unconsciously. Yes, and mothers do not always know what they are doing, trying to protect their beloved child from mistakes. Why are phrases like: "Do not trust men, they will betray you just like your father." So the girl grows up with fear of any relationship. And mom also adds: “No one will love you the same way as I do.”

My 5-year-old daughter is very fond of pointing and ordering and does not tolerate criticism. How to be? Q: My 5-year-old daughter is very fond of pointing and ordering, does not tolerate criticism, and perceives the demands of others negatively. I was criticized many times in kindergarten. She is also in charge at home. Everything in nature strives for harmony and balance, the relationship between children and parents is also subject to this law.

Statistics show that the number of divorces is growing like a snowball. People fall in love, get married, have children, but, unfortunately, many decide to divorce. Everyone determines the correctness of this decision for himself, but the trend is obvious.

What worries a single mother

Divorce raises many questions for the mother. Here are the typical ones:

How to raise a child without a father?
Will it affect his development?
To what extent will the absence of a father's example affect the boy's life?
Will a girl, having matured, be able to build a happy family if she was left without a dad in her childhood?

These questions haunt single mothers, and when problems arise in the life of a child, the mother thinks that this could not have happened if dad was around.

Let us consider the real significance of the role of the father in education, without exaggerating or underestimating it.

A woman, having learned about pregnancy, begins to understand that a little man will soon be born, for which she will be responsible for 18 years - and maybe her whole life. And her upbringing will largely affect the fate of the child in adulthood. No one wants to be left without a husband and raise a child alone, but what if circumstances put a woman in such conditions? What to do if you had to become a single mother?

Different situations arise in life - a man leaves his pregnant wife, parents get divorced when the child is already an adult, a woman herself decides to leave her husband, because she is not satisfied with family life. Sometimes tragic events happen that leave a child an orphan.

From childhood, girls are taught the stereotype that children should grow up in complete families, otherwise a child - especially a boy - may grow up handicapped, unable to build his own happy family in the future. After all, there are many examples in life when daughters who grew up without a father eventually also become single mothers. Every now and then we come across stories that indicate that the absence of a father in the family negatively affects children. What then to do?

Children of today perceive divorce differently than children of the recent past. If earlier there were 1-2 children from incomplete families in the class, now there are much more of them. There are more and more children growing up without a father or having a “Sunday dad”, and therefore they perceive the news of a divorce differently.

However, it is always necessary to take into account the psychotype of the child. There are children for whom it is important that everything in the family be decorous and noble, that everything be right. These children have the hardest time enduring the divorce of their parents. They have a hard time accepting any changes, and such important changes in their usual way of life as the separation of their parents deprive them of a sense of security. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare such a child for the breakup of the family gradually, very carefully and as delicately as possible.

There are children who easily adapt to any changes, so they are able to more easily accept the news of their father leaving the family. For any child, the divorce of parents is perceived as a threat to his safety, but this should not be taken as a tragedy of a lifetime.

Any negative consequences of the separation of parents can be smoothed out if the father and child continue to communicate after the divorce, if they at least occasionally see each other, and preferably as often as possible. A woman must find the strength in herself not to express her grievances against her ex-husband to her children, not to set the children against him, not to cause them to be negative towards their father, not to distort the idea of \u200b\u200bhim.

Should the family get divorced?

It must be understood that it is not always necessary to strive to save the family by any means.

If children grow up in an outwardly prosperous family, in which there is actually a lot of negativity, then they can transfer this experience to their future family. Children should not see the swearing and quarrels of their parents. It is important to remember that any father is an example for children, and a bad father, accordingly, is a bad role model. Any domestic violence witnessed by children is a psychological trauma for them.

Unfortunately, there are fathers who beat children, maim them psychologically (for example, constantly ridiculing the boy for his tears, repeating “what are you like a woman, be a man”) - all this is no better than raising children in an incomplete family. The worst thing for a child is to see how his mother is beaten. From birth, the baby perceives the mother as a guarantor of his security and safety. And if a child sees the beating of his mother, then the picture of his world collapses.

With the right approach, you can convey to the child that divorce is not fatal, that sometimes this happens, and this is how it happened in their family. Some emotional children, with appropriate explanations, can tell their friends that their mother met her true love, and they will now live in a new family. Children should not be allowed to perceive divorce as the only way to solve problems in the family - after all, very soon they will start families themselves and may face conflicts in them.

Single mothers should understand that by nature they have everything to raise a mentally and physically healthy child. The post-war generation grew up in incomplete families and became normal people. Don't pre-arrange for the worst. Of course, it is more difficult for a woman to raise a child alone than in a full-fledged family, but this is also possible.

Tatyana Khonyakina
Consultation "The role of the father in the upbringing of the child"

The role of the father in raising a child

Father's love, like mother's love, is necessary for normal development child. Lack of attention from mom or dad can lead to a distortion of attitude and a violation of behavior child. After all, it depends on both parents how their child will grow up. And despite the fact that in real life the main parenting is mom, a man under any circumstances should participate in this process and always remain a dad.

For normal development and a stable emotional state, children need both female and male influence. Mom kindness and kindness educates in a child humanistic traits. And the formation of purposefulness, perseverance, courage is a mission father. Interest child, exactingness and democracy on the part of the pope forms in child positive self-esteem.

Traditionally, the father in the family is given first of all, disciplining role. However, the prohibitions father act only against the backdrop of paternal love. And the sons of harsh fathers are deprived of the ability to sympathy and compassion.

In awareness child of myself, as a representative of a certain sex, huge the role belongs to the father. In everyday communication with his daughter and son, he reacts differently to their behavior: in boys it encourages activity, determination, endurance; the girl welcomes softness, tenderness, praises for helping her mother in preparing dinner.

Love father gives to child a feeling of special emotional and psychological well-being teaches the son and daughter how a man can show love for children, his wife, and those around him.

The boy needs constant contact with his father. Watching and communicating with dad, the boy copies him behavior: gestures, movements, manners, words. Such qualities as manhood, the ability to take responsibility, attitude towards a woman and many other features are instilled in a boy in the process of communicating with his dad.

The most vulnerable in terms of emotional well-being are boys from single-parent families. They often have difficulties in communication, self-doubt, isolation, a contradictory attitude towards loved ones.

For a complete education girls and the formation of a female character, constant communication with the father is also necessary. A daughter usually does not imitate her father, but his approval gives her self-confidence. It is important to show your daughter that dad appreciates her opinion, is interested in her affairs, consults with her, praises her beautiful dress. paternal acceptance educates in a girl self-confidence, feminine dignity.

It's in the family, watching the roles father and mother, children get an idea about the full-fledged relationship between a man and a woman, their parental roles and responsibilities, about family problems and ways to resolve them.

Types of contemporary popes (A. I. Barkan)

"Dad mom"- this is a motherly caring father who takes on all the functions mothers: bathes, feeds and reads a book. But he does not always manage to maintain due patience. Press the mood of the pope presses on child: when everything is good - he is caring, kind, sympathetic, and if something goes wrong - he is unrestrained, quick-tempered, even angry. Here in the house - sometimes warm, sometimes cold. BUT to kid I want the golden mean.

"Mother, father"- dad, who sees the main concern in pleasing the child. Acting as a mother and father, he resignedly pulls the parent I wear: caring, gentle, mood swings are not characteristic of him. Child to whom everything is permitted and everything is forgiven, it is convenient "arranging" on my father's neck, turning into a little despot.

"Karabas - Barabas"- an evil, cruel father, recognizing always and in everything only "hedgehog gloves". Fear reigns in the family, driving the soul child into a dead end maze. Punishment as prevention is a favorite method education. With such a father child sooner or later, a feeling of hatred for the parent will boil and break out.

"Toughie"- dad, recognizing only the rules without exception, never compromising, even when he is wrong.

"Jumping Dragonfly"- a man living in a family, but not feeling like a father. His ideal is a free bachelor life without responsibility for loved ones. Family for him is a heavy burden, child is a burden, the subject of the wife's concern. At the first opportunity, such a dad turns into a visitor, but not for long.

"Shirt - guy". Such a dad will rush to help anyone, forgetting about his own family. At first glance, he is both a brother and a friend, it is interesting, easy and fun with him. In the same time child lives in an atmosphere of conflict, in his heart sympathizing with the pope, but unable to change anything.

"Neither fish nor fowl"- dad, who does not have his own voice in the family, echoing mom in everything, even if she is wrong. Fearing the wrath of his wife, in difficult times child moments he cannot come to his aid.

How can mom help dad connect with child

(reminder for mom)

Let dad help take care of child from the first days of life: bathing, walking, bottle feeding.

Do not react negatively to active games. Dads play different games with children than moms - they are more mobile and energetic. And the kids just love it!

Get out together more often! For some reason, dads communicate more with their own children in public places (theater, circus or zoo).

Leave the baby alone with dad. Dads who spend a lot of time with their children become an important figure for them and a model of behavior that the baby will follow in the future. The more active such communication, the better the mental state child.

Dads are usually more strict in punishments, so watch how categorical your father is. But even if you don't agree with daddy's methods education do not, under any circumstances, discuss this issue with child. It is better to discuss all the contradictions in private with the father and find a middle ground, a compromise.

Stick to the same line with dad education. Make reasonable demands and insist on them implementation: the child must know what both mom and dad expect from him.

The child needs to be praised! But do not forget to praise your dad too - you cannot leave his merits unnoticed.

Remember, your marital relationship is an example for child, which he realizes later in his future family life.

And the most important advice for mom and dad is love your child! He will definitely remember this for the rest of his life.

Advice for a loving dad

(reminder for dad)

Give to kid your free time. After work, you want to relax, but this is a good opportunity to chat, and child: ask the baby how he spent the day, play with him.

hug child. A father should not be ashamed to show his love. Babies need tactile contact.

play with child in outdoor games(football, badminton, skiing, building a snowman, etc.)

Read baby books. This interesting and entertaining activity instills child's interest in reading. In addition, you will enjoy spending time together.

Support mom. Do not quarrel with your wife in front of children, your behavior is an example to follow. Be a team, if you disagree with something, discuss it in private.

Show and tell to kid that you appreciate it. Praise him for great achievements and small but good results. This will increase your child's self-esteem.

Remember: the child who was not the Son father, will not be able to become a Father for his son

Divorce is not uncommon these days. According to disappointing statistics, about half of marriages in Russia break up. Although society's attitude towards divorce is becoming more tolerant, the breakup of a family is a serious stress for all its members. Children are especially affected by this. The task of parents is to help the child survive the divorce of their parents and mitigate its negative consequences on the upbringing process.

Divorce through the eyes of a child

Children in a divorce situation feel a strong nervous tension. Unfortunately, in most cases, the separation of mom and dad causes them psychological trauma. The exception is when a parent leaves, whose presence caused great discomfort. For example, when a mother divorces an alcoholic father who was violent and beat his wife and children. However, most often the offspring are very worried and do not want their parents to disperse. Psychologists distinguish several generalized children's reactions, largely dependent on age.

From birth to 1.5 years. The crumbs are not yet able to understand what is happening in the family. The reaction to the divorce of parents at this age mainly depends on the experiences of the mother, as they subtly feel her psychological state and adopt it. The peanut can show his emotions with whims, tantrums, nervousness, refusal to eat, problems with sleep. Psychological discomfort can affect health: frequent illnesses, exacerbation of congenital diseases;
From 1.5 to 3 years. The emotional connection between the baby and parents at this age is very strong. They are the center of his little universe, so the departure of one of them will be hard to experience. Emotions can also affect physical health, manifest as problems with appetite and sleep. It happens that the baby becomes unmotivated aggressive: fights, bites. In some children, there is a return to infantile forms of behavior: pacifier sucking,;
From 3 to 6 years. During this period, children develop a vague understanding of what a divorce of parents is. They suffer because one of the parents no longer lives with them. Preschoolers tend to blame themselves for this. Manifestations at the physical level: poor appetite, sleep. Various fears and fantasies may appear. It happens that the offspring behave aggressively towards the parent with whom they stayed to live. Manifestations of risky behavior, disobedience are increasing, injuries are becoming more frequent;
From 6 to 11 years old. The stress experienced by a child from the divorce of his parents can be exacerbated by the crisis of 7 years, which coincides with entering school. If adaptation to school is accompanied by an unfavorable situation at home, this can cause problems with learning, reluctance to go to school, conflicts with peers, antisocial behavior. At this age, children already understand what divorce is, they are often afraid that they will not see one of the parents, they will not be able to communicate with him. Fears can also arise in relation to their future, which seems uncertain and frightening. Some children think that they can restore the family, they are trying to reconcile their parents. If this fails, the children feel deceived, abandoned;
11 years and older. Adolescents are already able to understand what divorce is, but internally they cannot accept it. Against the backdrop of raging hormones, everything is taken to heart. Adolescents experience resentment and disappointment, often there is a feeling of uselessness and abandonment. The departure of one of the parents can be perceived as a betrayal, the reaction to which is behavioral disturbances: absenteeism, drinking,. It also happens the other way around: the child becomes an ideal son or daughter, thus trying to achieve reconciliation between the parents.

At any age, it is psychologically very difficult for a child when mom and dad decide to divorce. Parents need to set themselves the goal of overcoming mutual claims and learning how to interact, taking into account the interests of the child.

Moms take note!

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The right solution in a divorce situation would be joint custody of the child. It happens that this is very difficult to do, because the former spouses cause a lot of conflicting and even negative emotions in each other. However, it is necessary to do this in order to minimize the psychological trauma of the child from the divorce of the parents. Psychologists say that when the ex-husband and wife maintain a calm, even relationship, continue to take care and raise their children together, the children feel normal.
Don't avoid talking to your child about the divorce. You can’t lie and say that one of the parents went on a long business trip. The best thing to do is to talk openly with your child. It is good if both parents are involved in the conversation. The psychological state of the child after the divorce largely depends on how this conversation goes.
In a calm atmosphere, tell them that mom and dad are breaking up because they can no longer be happy together. Be sure to mention that you are divorcing each other, but not with the child. Your breakup is not his fault. Both of you still love and will love your baby, communicate and spend time together, although someone will live separately.
You can not quarrel and insult each other in the presence of a child. Try to discuss disagreements and disputes as peacefully as possible, without involving the offspring in conflicts.
Do not criticize your ex-husband or wife in front of a child. If a child is critical of a former spouse in his absence, do not encourage and support him in this.
Do not put the child in a situation of choice between parents and do not set against the former spouse. The child loves and needs each of you.
Do not use children as an intermediary between you: forcing them to send angry messages, demanding money, fishing for information about their personal lives. If you have something to say to your ex(es), do it in person.
Stop the child's attempts to manipulate you with threats that he will leave to live with another parent. This will teach him to manage you and negatively affect moral development.
Do not humiliate the offspring, finding in his behavior traits of negative resemblance to the former spouse. " All in the father! (to the mother!) ”- such phrases can provoke even more negative behavior and set against both parents.
Never blame your child for your problems, unsettled personal life, domestic difficulties. This is the fault of adults, and you can not take out your irritation on him.
Do not prevent the other parent from seeing the child. Although the place of residence of the offspring is determined by the court, mom and dad must be nearby. Agree when and how much time the child will spend with each, and do not infringe on the ex-spouse's right to communicate with him.
Be open in your communication with your child, while avoiding unnecessary details. The child subtly feels falseness, so it is better to talk about your experiences in a language that is accessible to him. So he will understand that he is not alone in his feelings. On the other hand, do not dump your problems on him, they may not be up to him, no matter how grown-up he may seem.
Show your love and affection generously. She is needed more than ever during this difficult time. On a subconscious level, many children fear that if their parents have fallen out of love with each other, then they can easily stop loving them too. Show that it is not.
Give your child as much attention as possible: read together, be creative. Try to expand your social circle so that the child is distracted from family problems, spend more time outside the home in joint walks and sports.
Help your offspring set achievable goals and achieve them. Do not skimp on praise, but do not avoid fair punishments.
Try to be an example for the child: do not act immorally, do not withdraw into yourself, learn to overcome the blues and enjoy life - and he will definitely join you in this!

If parents manage to agree among themselves after a divorce and jointly take care of their child, this has the best effect on his psychological well-being.

The positive impact of joint custody after divorce

The child feels safe. Participation in the life of the child of both parents gives him a sense of confidence in their love, has a positive effect on self-esteem. This helps a growing person to accept the fact of separation of the closest people faster and easier.
Joint custody of parents gives the child a sense of stability, orderliness of life. This allows, just as in a complete family, to form a system of rules, rewards and punishments. The offspring is confident in the future, knows what to expect from others and what is expected of him.
The child learns to deal effectively with difficulties. Having before his eyes the experience of parents who successfully overcame differences and were able to cooperate for a common goal, the child adopts their model of behavior in difficult situations.

Divorce is not a sentence for a child. The wisdom and love of parents, their ability to compromise and forget mutual insults will help him cope with stress and overcome it with the least psychological loss.