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The platonic love of a man for a woman. What is Platonic Relationship

Love of two souls, without bodily attraction - a fairy tale from the time of knights and beautiful ladies or reality?

This feeling bears the name of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato, who talked about ideal, spiritual love, without the need for sexual contact.

True, relations of this kind were allowed between the sage and the disciples, and the ideas about the relationship between a man and a woman in those days were somewhat different.

So platonic love in the modern sense is connected with Plato rather superficially.

Let's, nevertheless, figure out what platonic love is. Not everyone understands this the same way.

Some define it as a relationship without sexual desire, based on spiritual attraction without an admixture of sensuality. The light addition of "when sexual desire is sublimated or suppressed" changes the meaning significantly. But since regardless of the presence or absence of sexual desire, the emphasis is on the spiritual rather than the physical component, it is worth considering both cases.

Two options for platonic love

A classic example of the former is the friendship between a man and a woman. Its existence has recently been a favorite battleground for verbal battles, but the facts claim that, although not often, such friendship still occurs. Friends can be colleagues at work, or people with common interests, "second halves" of friends, ex-lovers, or .. There are, in fact, many options. However, friendship can not always become platonic love, because love is not just a community of interests and a similarity of views. This is spiritual closeness, when, even living their own lives, people are closely connected with each other emotionally.

If we talk about the second, then there are a lot of options - unrequited love, love at a distance, love, when one of the partners or both are not free and do not want to change, when sexual relations are impossible for health reasons, the relationship between young people before marriage in many religious traditions.

The object of platonic love can be chosen from among its own, but is often unattainable. Similar feelings can be experienced for a movie actor, singer, any famous person.

Love and asexuality

There is some connection between platonic love and asexuality or anti-sexuality. Denying sex life or simply not feeling the need for it, people believe that only platonic love can be called true love, because it is based on spiritual closeness and intelligence, and not hormones and instincts.

In any case, the main difference between platonic love is a different attitude to intimacy. The phrase "intimacy", usually describing sexual relations, here takes on a completely different meaning. Intimate means deeply personal. The relationship of platonic love also implies deeply personal contact, but if in the usual sense there are both spiritual and bodily sides in the manifestations of love, then in the platonic there is an exclusively spiritual, emotional side.

Platonic love often becomes a transitional stage in a relationship. At first there is only friendship, then it passes into the stage of real spiritual intimacy, and then physical intimacy arises.

This is the kind of love that adolescents often experience, endowing an object with the most beautiful qualities, embodying a dream of beauty in it.

Platonic love is sometimes accused of abstractness, calling it fantasy love. Perhaps to some extent this is so. But still, platonic love is invaluable as an emotional experience, where a person, as it were, creates a scenario for his future personal life, reveals his ideals and ideas.

Let's be honest: I know that many women have read classics at school and associate platonic love with youthful romance.

Well, what can be purer and more blameless than the attraction of two souls ... And is it generally necessary to desecrate relations from the higher spheres with banal physiology?

Seriously now. Platonic relationships, of course, have a right to exist. When both partners are satisfied with their mental connection, there is nothing to complain about. This is their deliberate choice.

Someone associates such love exclusively with Dante, Petrarch and Pushkin.

And to some it is like non-alcoholic, decaf coffee or vegetarian pizza. It seems to be the same, but not completely correct and complete, and the taste is completely different.

In a harmonious relationship, both the woman and the man realize theirs. This is the energy that needs to be released - anyway. And here the level of libido is completely unimportant.

What did Plato mean?

Somewhere in the wilds of ancient Greek philosophy, the idea remained that there is "spiritual, high" and "carnal, bodily" and these are two different types of feelings.

Plato considered the attachment of the teacher to the student to be an ideal example of a sublime relationship. But Eros - "discredits" high love and reduces everything to physiology.

The modern world explains all this much easier. Platonic love in a relationship between a man and a woman is practical - no attachment, no problem. Believe it or not, it does happen.

If you had such an experience, write in the comments how it ended.

The first sadness

Doesn't it happen in adults?

Asexuality does not depend on age, gender, nationality. At the same time, for the rest, he has all the same needs as those of “mere mortals”.

And just like everyone else, he wants emotional closeness, relationships, warmth, spiritual connection, a loved one nearby. Asexuals are looking for like-minded people on specialized resources on the network.

Is the relationship and the feelings of asexuals platonic? Quite! But many people find them difficult to understand, they even try to classify them as sexual minorities.

About freedom of choice

There are two radically different opinions: someone believes that true love is only that which is spiritual (that is, platonic).And it is concentrated precisely in the close emotional connection and friendship between partners.

Such a model fits well into Fromm's definition of love as "a relationship that presupposes care, responsibility, respect, knowledge, and also that the other person grows and develops."

And someone is convinced that love without sex is incomplete.

Everyone chooses for himself what to believe in. In Christ, the Prophet Muhammad or Buddha, in love without sex or sex as a form of love, in fate or a star, in one's own choice or fate.

I am for harmonious relationships and freedom of choice.

As a form of love, it has a right to exist. Or as one of the stages of a relationship. Today no one surprises and few people embarrass, and our grandmothers and mothers until the wedding, no, no.

Seek harmony

A relationship has four chair-like legs — psychological, social, intellectual, and physical.

This does not mean that it cannot be otherwise. There are wives of sailors, diplomats, pilots and different life circumstances.

But sex with a loved one is one of the key moments of intimacy, nature takes its toll. And platonic love excludes this very moment.

The question is: will you feel a man as subtly if you do not have physical intimacy. Think about it.

In a happy relationship in general, the needs of spirit and body can be satisfied by one person, otherwise sooner or later.In everything, balance is important: and where relationships are based on sex alone, they will not last long either.

Find balance
yours Yaroslav Samoilov.

2.2. Platonic love and its types

This feeling is named after the ancient Greek philosopher Plato (427–348 BC). In the essay "Feast" he put in the mouth of his hero Pausanias reasoning about high relationships. Initially, this kind of relationship was allowed between a sage and his disciple. Plato meant love for his students seeking wisdom from their teacher. The philosopher calls love between a student and a teacher spiritual.

The topic of ideal, spiritual love, when people do not need sexual contact, was first raised by Plato in a famous dialogue at a dinner at Agathon's. Plato in this dialogue reveals his idea of ​​finding a way to express human love. Plato said that love is hidden behind the masks of the earthly, lower, Eros and Eros heavenly, spiritual. The earthly seeks pleasure in sex, it is based on animal instincts, while the spiritual seeks a beloved soul, which once made a single whole with him.

Plato recognized two kinds of love - heavenly love and carnal love. Venus-Urania refers to the soul, not the body, she seeks not personal pleasure, but the happiness of a loved one. Her task is to perfect him in knowledge and virtue. Instead of a carnal, fleeting union, heavenly love creates harmony of souls. Carnal love, on the contrary, is sensual and excites only base actions, it comes from the body, and not from the soul, and dominates gross people, slaves of matter. In Plato's Feast, Socrates chills the pompous praises of love on the part of Phaedrus and Agathon with a sober investigation of this phenomenon. The sage finds that love cannot be called a deity (contrary to the current notions of that time), since it possesses neither beauty nor goodness (otherwise it would not strive for them). Without these properties, it cannot be blissful, that is, it does not have the basic property of divinity.

Menshikov M.O. 1994

Over time, platonic love began to be called any spiritual relationship between people without sensual and sexual contact. The main difference between platonic love is the attitude to the concept of "closeness". The phrase "intimacy", usually describing sexual relations, here takes on a completely different meaning. Intimate means deeply personal. The relationship of platonic love also implies deeply personal contact, but if in the usual sense there are both spiritual and bodily sides in the manifestations of love, then in the platonic there is an exclusively spiritual, emotional side.

I must say that some people believe that only platonic love can be called true love, because it is based on spiritual closeness and intelligence, and not hormones and instincts. Others believe that the love of two souls, without bodily attraction, is a fairy tale from the time of knights and beautiful ladies. For example, the famous Russian philosopher Vl. Soloviev wrote: “Love (platonic) cannot be recognized as“ true ”, since it does not allow for the opposition of spirit to body: a person is integral, spiritually - bodily. Spiritual love does not have and cannot have any real business behind it; it is beyond will and movement. "

Another position was expressed by the philosopher P. Sorokin, citing as an example of ideal (platonic) love the poetry of Blok - the poetry of "eternal femininity", "a beautiful and unfamiliar Lady."

It should be noted that P. Sorokin's idealization of platonic love and its opposition to erotic love. So, he wrote: “It is quite obvious that the aesthetic feeling develops only with the growth of culture, that is why in love, the closer to primitiveness, the more physiological experiences and the higher the culture, the more“ mental elements ”. And since this is so, then it means that in our time there should be more of them; in other words, the need for love-adoration, the need for Beatrice, must now be stronger than ever. From what has been said, it is clear that she is now so strong that she has completely separated from physiological love and even became hostile to her.<…>

I understand very well that I am expressing a position that many will consider a paradox. Indeed, is it not in our time that they shout everywhere about “monism” in love, according to which the union of souls must also entail the union of bodies; are they not now throwing thunder and lightning bolts of “one-sided” love, whether purely spiritual or carnal. Don't they call them crazy? And yet this “monism” does not exist, or rather, it exists less now than ever before. Strange as it may seem, but it is in our time that the connection into one whole of physiological and aesthetic love is almost impossible.

Indeed, if in the past aesthetics and physiology got along, now it is impossible to contemplate Venus at the same time and embrace it or kiss it in an earthly way. Venus, which can be kissed and loved physiologically, ceases, at least in these moments, to be Venus alive, pure beauty or Kantian "disinterested pleasure."

Even Tolstoy in the "Kreutzer Sonata" pointed out this incompatibility between Beatrice and his wife, physiological and aesthetic love.<…>

Aesthetic feeling, love-adoration - a very fragile feeling, and it took root in a person much later than the sexual instinct. Therefore, as soon as the last one comes, the first one disappears. This love cannot connect and exist with spasms of voluptuousness<…>

As soon as the passion is satisfied, the beloved becomes temporarily alien, unnecessary, even disgusting. But not only are there no aesthetic emotions in sexual intercourse, the very “possession of another being” involuntarily removes the veil of purity and charm from him, makes him like an empty drunk vessel<…>In the place of Beatrice, there is a simple woman, “sex”, “physiology”. And therefore - imperishable, semi-mysterious female beauty with sexual intercourse turns into a "wife"<…>

And like a rose with fallen leaves, it is no longer able to restore this old decoration. The transition from Venus to wife is simple and easy, but the opposite is difficult and almost impossible.<…>

So, in short, love-biology and love-beauty are now incompatible and hostile to each other. Beatrice must not be kissed, she must be inviolable. Only under this condition can she be Beatrice. And vice versa, “wife”, that is, a woman who is loved physiologically, is not Beatrice and cannot be. “Wife is wife” and “husband is husband”. Anything is possible between them, but not aesthetic love ”(pp. 261–262).

And hence: “Since a person now needs not only a“ wife ”and a friend, but also a Madonna, and a“ wife ”due to the fact that she is a“ wife, ”Madonna cannot be, then a person is forced to look for Madonna in other women, and not in his wife ”(p. 264), that is, to cheat on her.

Platonic love is useful, it can be considered the norm for children and adolescents. We observed it in junior and middle school students. For them, it can last long enough - up to 12-14 years. Experienced teachers, coaches, and mentors become the objects of such love. Its manifestation in such cases is very useful, and it is desirable that this feeling lasts long enough, because it contributes to the personal growth of the child, who tries to correspond to the object of platonic love and, therefore, learns well<…>

I would even say that the qualifications of a teacher can be determined by his ability to evoke such platonic self-love in students. Unfortunately, she is called only by teachers, coaches, educators and all other mentors who work with children and adolescents who have extensive experience and very high professional qualifications. In addition, they must have their own sexual problems resolved. Then the burning gaze of the ward, if the mentor suddenly notices him, does not arouse lust in him, and after a short time the suddenly arisen sexual content will disappear as a result of the calm reaction of a sexually satisfied person who is engaged in his business with interest. In almost 100% of cases, the development of such love significantly increases student performance.

Litvak M.E. 2008

However, time has made adjustments to the understanding of platonic love. It now does not deny the presence of sexual desire, which in this form of love is sublimated or suppressed. M.O. Menshchikov wrote about this (1899): “Do not call the so-called platonic love, like the one with which the knight Togenburg burned, as holy love. After all, such "ideal" love is still a sexual passion, only unsatisfied. " This somewhat blurs the concept of "platonic love", and although many deny it, saying that it is just a friendship between a man and a woman, it is still possible. Friends can be colleagues at work or people with common interests, classmates, etc. However, friendship is not yet platonic love, because love is not just a community of interests and similarity of views, it is adoration of another, it is spiritual closeness, when even living their own lives, people are closely connected with each other emotionally (see below for the differentiation of love and friendship).

Historical legends of platonic love

There are legends about the great love of Francesco Petrarca, the great poet of the Middle Ages, and Laura de Newe. Francesco was twenty-three years old in 1327 when he first saw the beloved of his life, the married twenty-six-year-old Laura, in the small church of St. Clara on the outskirts of Avignon. By that time, his muse already had several children, but for the romantic poet she was a real angel, the embodiment of spiritual purity and unearthly beauty.

Years passed, Laura from frequent childbirth (she had eleven children in total) quickly grew old and lost her harmony, but for Petrarch it did not matter - he loved her with all his heart. The poet endowed her with high morality and purity of thoughts, this platonic love inspired the great classic to work. For all the long years of his love, he never spoke to her, but every time, noticing Laura's tender gaze, Petrarch, inspired and elated, wrote new masterpieces all night.

His muse died at the age of forty-seven during a plague epidemic. The poet suffered long and painfully, chanting his beloved in magnificent sonnets.

Another story of great love also remained in the centuries - the love of the Russian writer Ivan Turgenev and the French singer Pauline Viardot. Turgenev, knowing that his beloved was married, voluntarily agreed to the role of a devoted adorer.

According to legend, this love was platonic, but today historians, studying the correspondence of lovers, agree that the relationship was not only spiritual. They were never together, and Turgenev never married. His illegitimate daughter from a peasant serf was raised by Pauline Viardot, Turgenev even renamed the girl from Pelageya to Polinette in honor of his beloved woman.

The writer was dying in the arms of his beloved in Paris, dictating to her the last stories and letters. Departing from life, he was happy - his beloved was there, forty years of adoration could only be interrupted by death.

Pyaterikova J. Platonic love // ​​Based on materials from the Internet

ME Litvak also gives an example of “big, real” romantic love.

Alexander Blok, when he went to woo Lyuba Mendeleeva, carried a pistol in his pocket, and at home he left a suicide note on the table, as he planned to shoot himself in case of refusal. His offer was accepted, so there was no need to shoot.

On their wedding night, he passionately explains to Lyuba: “I don't want hugs: because hugs are a stinking monster. I want beyond words and beyond hugs. " He dreamed of unearthly love, and she did not need poetry at all, but life, which a girl usually expects: common worries, children, quiet evenings and conversations about this and that.

"... I tried to arrange my life as it was necessary, as conveniently ... I thought only about how to get rid of this love that I no longer needed," wrote Lyubov Dmitrievna, already aged in her memoirs about that time. It is good to be the poet's beloved, but to be his wife!

She wanted to have children, but this was not part of A. Blok's plans, and she was forced to have a lover, became pregnant from him. The child who was born did not live long.

And Blok soon became disillusioned with his wife, and a long line of mistresses began, but he never found his ideal of the Beautiful Lady.

With other options, platonic love is unrequited love, love at a distance, love when one of the partners or both are not free and do not want to change, when sexual relations are impossible for health reasons, because of the age difference or in the absence of need. It is also the relationship between young people before marriage, while respecting cultural and religious traditions. Platonic love can be felt for a movie actor, singer, any famous person.

Platonic love is sometimes accused of abstractness, calling it fantasy love. Perhaps to some extent this is so. This is the kind of love that adolescents often experience, endowing an object with the most beautiful qualities, embodying a dream of beauty in it. But it is with them that platonic love contributes to the formation of invaluable experience and often becomes a transitional stage in a relationship in which physical intimacy also arises.

Knightly love

Karl Weinhold, in his seminal work on the life of women in the Middle Ages, Die deutschen Frauen in dem Mittelalter (Germanic Women in the Middle Ages, Vienna, 1882) writes the following:

“The era of chivalry created the institution of service to women (Frauendienst). The life of the knightly order was governed by special rules, different from those of civil life. There was a special concept of "honor of the order" and its special traditions. The purpose of life for a knight was to prove his courage and courage by daring exploits. This goal also generated a thirst for adventure, and one of the main laws in the search for adventure is to protect the weak, especially women. The desire to protect the weak, to serve women later led to the fact that the knight devoted his service to a single woman<…>This knightly service turned into a conventional habit, very often dispensed with real passions and manifested itself as a purely external, although leaving an imprint on a lifetime.<…>The knights dedicated their service to married women, for they figured in the forefront of the noble society. The goal was just a play of mind and love feelings. The knight chose one lady (frouwe) and offered her his faithful service. It was vital for him to find a lady, knight (frouwenritter) of which he would declare himself. If the lady accepted his offer, the knight in the future did all his actions on her behalf. According to the unwritten rules, the lady after that did not have the right to accept the services of another knight and, as a sign of the agreement that had taken place, presented her knight with a ribbon, headscarf or wreath, which he wore on his helmet or on the tip of a spear, so that during the performance of knightly deeds the memory of the lady would constantly accompany him stimulating heroic deeds "<…>

“Whatever the knight did, whether it was just a knightly tournament or participation in a crusade, he did it with the name of his lady or by her order. When Hartmann von Aue went on a campaign against the Saracens, he sang: “Let no one ask me why I am going to war. I will say myself that I am doing this by the order of love. And nothing can be changed here, you cannot break an oath or a word. Many boast that for the sake of love they will do this and that, but these are just words. Where are you? For the sake of true love, a man is able to leave his home and go to foreign lands. You see how love drove me out of my own home, although even the hordes of Sultan Saladin could not have lured me out of Franconia. "

The knight performed all his actions in the hope of a reward. The reward was already considered that through the service to a woman the knight rose above everyday life and reached a certain exalted spiritual state.

There were times when the mistress, with truly sadistic cruelty, herself determined the most difficult conditions, and the dreamy fanatic accepted them without objection. Here flirting cooled down to the level of the most heartless coquetry. “Brantom cites one case from his own practice, when a lady demanded from a knight that he, as proof of his love, pierced his own hand with a dagger. The cavalier was ready to do this, and Brantum had to use force to prevent the insane act. He also recalls the incident with the gentleman Zhenle, who was walking serenely with the lady; they were just on the bridge over the Seine, when the devil of sadistic flirting possessed the lady, she threw her expensive lace handkerchief into the river and asked the knight to jump after him and get him out of the water. In vain the gentleman explained that he could not swim, the lady called him a coward, after which he threw himself into the water in despair. Fortunately, there was a boat nearby and the madman in love was promptly pulled ashore. "

Kozlov N.I. // Based on materials from the Internet

Parents' love for children. E. Fromm (1986) points out the differences between maternal and paternal love. Mother's love unconditional - the mother loves her child for what he is. Her love is not subject to the control of the child, since it cannot be earned from the mother. Mother's love is either there or not. Paternal love conditioned - the father loves because the child lives up to his expectations. Father's love is controlled - it can be earned, but it can be lost.

At the same time, E. Fromm notes that we are not talking about a specific parent - mother or father, but about maternal or paternal principles, which to a certain extent are represented in both parents.

An important characteristic of parental love, especially of the mother, is emotional availability. This is not just the physical presence or physical closeness of the parent, it is his willingness to give the child his warmth, his tenderness, and subsequently understanding, support, and approval.

E. Fromm (1990) writes that “maternal love has two aspects: one is idealization, knowledge and respect, which are absolutely necessary for the preservation of the child's health and biological growth; another aspect goes beyond the simple preservation of life, it is the attitude that instills in the child a love of life, which makes him feel that it is good to be alive, it is good to be a boy or girl, it is good to live on this earth<…>But the child has to grow. He must leave the mother's womb, break away from the mother's breast, and finally become a completely independent human being. The very essence of maternal love - caring for the growth of the child - implies a desire for the child to separate from the mother. This is its main difference from erotic love. In erotic love, two people who have been separate become one. In maternal love, two people who were one become separate from each other. The mother should not just accept, but want and encourage the separation of the child. It is at this stage that maternal love takes on such a difficult mission, which requires disinterestedness, the ability to give everything and desire nothing in return except the happiness of a loved one ”(p. 34).

The thesis, I must say, is very controversial. Perhaps, it is not the mother who initiates the separation of the child, but the child, growing up and acquiring independence, seeks to separate from the mother? Perhaps that is why many mothers turn out to be incapable of "true love" and do not pass to the second stage, which E. Fromm himself complains about? Otherwise, there would be no such emotional phenomenon as the "empty nest" after the children leave the parental home.

The love of children for their mother. There are different opinions as to why a child loves his mother. A. Freud (Freud, 1946) associates filial and filial love with the fact that a mother, feeding and swaddling babies, satisfies their primitive - "oral" or "anal" sexuality. D. Ambrose (Ambrose, 1961) believes that since the mother is more often near the child, he simply "captures" her image. Other authors (Condon, Sandler, 1974) refer to the emotional community of mother and child, originating from their biological community during intrauterine development. The position of M.I. Lisina (1986) seems to be more correct, considering that a complex set of various reasons lies at the heart of electoral attachments.

Love for God. As E. Fromm writes (1990), the religious form of love, which is called love for God, originates in the need to overcome alienation and achieve unity. The basis of the religious form of love, love for God, is the experience of loneliness and the resulting need to overcome the anxiety of loneliness through unification.

Faith in God for most people is faith in a helping father. However, a truly religious person, if he follows the essence of a monotheistic idea, does not pray for something, does not demand anything from God; he loves God differently than a child loves his father or his mother; he achieves humility, feels his limitations, knowing that he knows nothing about God. God becomes for him a symbol, in which man at an early stage of his evolution expressed the fullness of all that he himself aspires to, the reality of the spiritual world, love, truth and justice. He believes in the principles that God represents, he thinks truly, lives in love and justice, considers his life valuable only to the extent that it gives him the opportunity to more fully reveal his human powers, as the only reality that he takes into account ... Loving God means striving. Despite the fact that this understanding of religion was overcome by some of the great teachers of the human race and a minority of people, it still remains the predominant form of religion.

In the prevailing religious system in the West, love for God is essentially the same as belief in God, in divine existence, divine justice, divine love. In Eastern religions and in mysticism, love for God is an intense sensory experience of unity, inseparably connected with the expression of this love in every action of life.

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Platonic love, which eventually spills over into sexual intercourse, is just a variant of many "eastern" peoples and "children of the mountains", where ties before marriage can be punished with death. The honor of a girl, her innocence among such peoples is highly valued and the loss before marriage leaves a stain of shame not only on the girl herself, but also on her entire family. That is why young people, in particular girls, living with such morals, have no choice but to love only with their soul and heart, avoiding even an accidental kiss. From this, the intensity of passions and emotions is somewhat no less, if not even more. Finding no way out, the sexual energy of lovers accumulates in beautiful poems, songs and paintings.

Platonic love as a perception of the world

This option platonic love never develops into a physical connection, since lovers simply do not study, based on their worldview or worldview.

Asexuals are people who don't want to. Well, they just don't want to, while even medicine recognizes asexuals as healthy people who do not belong to physical or mental disabilities. Nowadays, asexuals are considered to be the fourth sexual orientation. All asexuals can be on those who have never felt the need for and those who voluntarily and consciously got rid of sexual attraction, based on a variety of motives and impulses. Many beliefs and religious movements consider asexuality to be a higher spiritual state, I directly associate the concept of “holiness” with the absence of not only sexual life, but even sexual thoughts and fantasies. However, these beliefs and religions do not forbid people to love each other, but on the contrary, “pure”, “immaculate” love is only welcomed. Buddhist nirvana is completely asexual (which, however, means freedom in general from all desires). A number of asexuals believe that their lack of "primitive desires" makes them more spiritual, in addition, there are asexuals who consider this to be the highest spiritual position.

Platonic love as a disease

Platonic love is like a disease, when it is impossible to perform sexual acts due to physical or mental illnesses that block sexual desire.

Platonic love - like unrequited love

Sometimes a lover simply has no choice but to love the object of his passion platonically, since his beloved (beloved) does not share his feelings. Platonic love- this is something at the subconscious level, when the heart beats faster, just at the thought that HE (or SHE) generally exists on Earth. Platonic love in this version is pure and sincere, it does not require the possession of the object of its adoration, does not require reciprocity and some kind of sacrifice.

As you can see for yourself, the options platonic love there are several, and of course it (platonic love) has a right to exist. By the way, I remember in my youth, I loved one boy very much, and our relationship with him never went beyond the platonic one, and this feeling, deep and strong, I still remember.

Elena Gordin
Women's magazine JustLady

We strive to learn everything about love, consider it from all sides, understand its depth and meaning. After all, finding love, we find happiness. Is not it? It is not for nothing that people at all times have been looking for a panacea for all misadventures, a certain magic key that will open all doors and solve all problems. And if love is inseparably linked with happiness, then it means that people have always looked for love.

"" Once upon a time our nature was not the same as it is now. The body was the same and round, the back did not differ from the chest, there were four arms and legs, and each had two faces on a round neck, completely identical, but the head was the same. Terrible in their glory and power, these people tried to make an ascent to heaven in order to attack the gods.

And so the gods began to confer what to do. Finally Zeus the Thunderer, forcibly invented something, says: "" I found a way to save people and put an end to their rampage, reducing their strength. I will cut each of them in half, then they will become weaker and more useful to us, because their number will increase.

And if they still do not calm down, I will cut them in half again and they jump on one leg! ""

That is why people are looking for their soul mate all their lives, according to Plato, in his famous work called "The Feast".

It so happened that I had to think a little about love. It turned out that loving is not an easy task. At what point does love arise? How does love for a completely alien person appear? Why sometimes love can arise without contact, and sometimes even after physical contact, there can be no talk of love? But one thing for myself I have defined for sure: love makes us better in all respects!

But what interested me most of all the question of platonic love. What is this outlandish bird?

In our time, this kind of love is considered old-fashioned, stupid and "unnecessary." But it is there. And it is impossible not to believe in it. When I thought about this topic, the first thing that came to my mind was: me and Dima, 1st grade, maple alley, we walk together, always holding the handle, and all around the envious exclamations of classmates: “ha-ha, bride and groom ! ".

Platonic love is one of the most disinterested and romantic expressions of our feelings. This kind of wise love is necessary for a person, and I would call someone who has never experienced such a feeling deprived.

From the history of the definition.

Love was called platonic after the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. In his book "The Feast", which I mentioned earlier, he first raised the question of ideal love, which does not require bodily contact, it is spiritual love without any sexual desires. In his work, Plato talked about finding a way to express love, namely the human way. About the way to find your happiness, not the happiness of a stone or an animal, but specifically human happiness. Plato said that people are in a higher state than animals, the main feature of which is instinct. This means that we, people, have something more, higher, peculiar only to us.

Wonderful examples of platonic love can be: love for the Motherland, student and elder, mother and child.

Sometimes there are quite compelling reasons for the manifestation of this type of relationship: a disease that does not allow you to lead a normal life, religion or relationships that have arisen at a fairly old age.

But more often this kind of relationship is just the first step on the mountain of ascent to a wonderful feeling of love.

The usual set of our pink dreams with you: a courageous knight who is certainly capable of the most insane act for the sake of love. And his girlfriend, ideal in all respects, to whom he treats like a deity, even touching which is unthinkable!

But what does this have to do with reality, you say?

This phenomenon is quite common among adolescents, a normal stage of personality development. It is at this age that teenagers find idols for themselves, those whom they love and whom they imitate. Very often platonic love arises for unattainable people: actors, singers, musicians.

Legends about such love between Francesco Petrarca and Laura are known from history. She inspired him to work until his death, while the poet never even spoke to her. He loved her from a distance, like an angel, pure and divinely beautiful.

The object of such love most often does not even know that he is loved. And such a relationship is often confused with friendship.

And platonic love is also a great chance to experience love, to experience an affair with someone, if you are in a relationship without cheating. With age, people begin to realize that the most important and most sensitive erogenous zone is the brain. And then you realize that a person close to you almost does not pay due attention to this organ. The main thing here is that the attraction is mutual, in the form of a dialogue. And the bodily contact of the two "organs" took place at a distance. Here it is - platonic love. You are with someone in an inspiring relationship for both of you, but at the same time, no one can convict you of treason!
Wonderful lines by Maya Kristallinskaya:

“If you can't sleep at night, and your soul is not easy
So, you need to fall in love with that one on Earth, which is far from you ... "

Pros of Platonic Love:

Being in love is perfect in itself. It gives us wings. In general, our body does not care what we are in love with. The most important thing is that during this there is a release of hormones responsible for joy, good mood, desire to create and do things. We feel happiness with all our cells.

British sexologists have conducted a study. So, 85% of men cannot imagine their life without sex, content with only one love. 40% of women were less categorical and ready for a purely platonic relationship.

Although it is quite difficult for me to imagine a man who is healthy in all respects, who furtively tears off the painfully lovely looks of a lady of the heart, sighs and, immersed in dreams, writes down odes to his beloved in a notebook. It seems that I haven't had to fall in love platonically for a long time ... / looked around in search of a potential victim ...