“If a man beats a woman, then this is not a man, but a rag! Why does a husband beat his wife - the psychology of the causes, consequences and the correct solution to the problem

Insults and assault in the family are a touchy subject. Many of the fair sex, faced with psychological aggression or physical abuse from their beloved, try to hide this fact. However, hushing up such a serious problem will not lead to anything good. Why does a man insult and beat his woman: what is the psychology of a tyrant? Let's talk about it.

Your relationship with your loved one is harmonious, and you are sure that you have found true happiness, but suddenly the unexpected happens - instead of words of love, your partner begins to insult you, be rude and scream. Why did it happen? The psychology of relationships is a complex science, in any situation there are nuances, but if a man insults a woman, then this is definitely not worth enduring. It is necessary to find the reason for the change in his behavior and try to restore the former harmony. If this fails, end the relationship, because insults and humiliation are often harbingers of assault. In addition, constant stress can provoke prolonged depression.

The psychology of the sexes is very different, so it is difficult for many of the fair sex to understand why a man insults his woman. In most cases, this is how the husband wants to establish himself at the expense of his wife. As a rule, the "domestic tyrant" cannot boast of significant achievements in life, but strives to be the "leader of the pack." Men with complexes psychologically try to "crush" their wife, attacks occur when the husband feels that his wife is superior to him in many ways. With the help of humiliation, a man tries to make his beloved insecure, to lower her self-esteem. This also happens when the gentleman is afraid of losing his companion.

Important! The psychology of a tyrant's actions can have many reasons, you need to think not about why a man humiliates and insults a woman, but how to solve this problem and whether it is worth holding on to this relationship at all.

No need to endure humiliation. Try talking to your lover, but if that doesn't work, leave. If psychological aggression is familiar to you firsthand, and a child is growing up in your family, then you should not look for an answer to the question of why a man yells at a woman, but urgently protect the baby from conflicts, psychology knows many cases when the situation repeats itself. That is, if a boy sees how his father regularly humiliates his mother, he can adopt such behavior towards his wife in the future. A girl from a family where her mother suffers humiliation often believes that this is the psychology of all representatives of the stronger sex, and the question does not even occur to her why a man is rude to a woman and whether this is right. Why ruin the life of yourself and your child?

Man hitting a woman

“Beats means loves” - there is nothing more absurd than this well-known phrase. The psychology of more than one generation of the fair sex was formed on this phrase, many still believe that if a man raised his hand to his woman, then there is nothing to worry about. The victim can hear from acquaintances “It’s her own fault”, “Be patient” and much more, so many girls hide the fact that the partner allows himself to be beaten. This is not a normal situation, in most cases the only way to solve the problem is to break the relationship, but there are exceptions. For example, if a man does not beat a woman regularly, but only once raised his hand in a quarrel, being at the peak of emotions: the female psychology is such that they are ready to forgive the misdeeds of their loved ones if they have an explanation.

Important! Before forgiving a blow, a slap or a push, make sure that your partner is really sincerely repentant and understands that such a situation a priori cannot happen again.

Relationship psychology describes many reasons why a man hits a woman. As a rule, insecure, notorious representatives of the stronger sex allow themselves to be beaten, but sometimes successful men also “relieve irritation” in this way. If a boy saw domestic violence as a child, then as an adult, he can copy the behavior of his father. Psychology cannot answer the question why a man raises his hand against a woman when the origins of the problem lie in another area: for example, alcohol and drug addicts, people with mental disorders are prone to assault.

Attention! Many girls at the dawn of a relationship with a partner allow him, as if jokingly, to say offensive words in his address, to demonstrate physical strength as a joke. This is a big mistake, a joke in the future can develop into real aggression.

And then, without wasting a second, the man would hold a right uppercut. A hook, calibrated to the chin, would finally finish off the woman if she still kept on her feet.

What a horror! .. What a nightmare! .. Of course, everything is not so. A modern man, like a true knight, would certainly allow a woman to whip his cheeks to her frenzy. He would, as in ancient times (mainly cinematic ones), stand without moving while a woman takes out her offense on him. And then he would wrap an exhausted woman in his arms ...

Again, something is not right ... A modern man, in response to a slap in the face, would himself affectionately hit a woman on the cheek. She would, angry, call him again. And he would respond immediately. This is how they would stand and beat each other to their logical conclusion. And the end could be passionate and tender love ... But as soon as passion and tenderness began to fade away, they would immediately begin to beat themselves again, then each other.

Sadomasochists?.. Maybe, but we are not talking about them now. A modern man would probably be very offended by a slap from a woman - after all, the ethics of relations between a man and a woman do not allow assault. All points of contention are discussed, and if possible, the parties agree. If it is impossible to agree, then everyone remains with his own opinion. With no intention of revenge.

It is quite possible that a man, after being slapped by a woman, would have been lying down ... He would have been lying and suffering from pain, humiliation and his own "inadequacy". After all, physical strength is not enough! To be successful, it is not at all necessary to have an oblique fathom in the shoulders. And it is not necessary for women to beat such men either.

And if a sober man was slapped by a drunken woman?.. How to be in this case? A modern man would write a statement to law enforcement agencies. Let them arrest such a rowdy woman. Let them put her in a police-police "monkey" in order to isolate her from respectable and calm men. So everyone will be better off.

And if some old "maiden" slaps a young man on the cheek? Smile back at her? .. Although why would she suddenly start fighting? She must have had some reason for that. For example, again "did not take" married. Then it makes no sense for a man to sort things out - you need to run faster and without looking back. From the old and the "virgins" one must always flee.

The most difficult thing is when a beloved woman hits her on the cheek ... In this case, the man is always to blame - he brought her to such a state. And the only way out is to ask her forgiveness. Even if she forgives (or pretends to forgive), the trace will remain in her soul for a long time. The only possible way out in such a situation is for her to beat such a man properly. And the man will react properly - he will endure everything.

It will not be difficult for a man if he receives a slap in the face undeservedly. In a sense, he will even be comfortable - the woman will be guilty. Then it will be easy to "recoup" for everything! It will be possible for a long time and methodically on occasion (or if desired) to remind her of this. With a tremor in his voice and with slightly moistened eyes, reproach her for the offense caused. And every time victoriously tasty breakfast-lunch-afternoon-and-dinner...

In general, a modern man should respond to slaps from women adequately - that is, selectively:

- If a woman is a stranger, then it is better to deal with her within the framework of the current legislation.
- If a slap from a loved one - to obey.
- If the female chef slapped her face, then there is a fun time of love joys ahead.
- If a drinking buddy - it's worth pouring more ...

The feminization of society, the mixing of gender roles has led to the fact that it is already difficult to surprise someone with a female bodybuilder, a female politician, a female businessman and a male nanny, a male makeup artist. The behavior of some women is more masculine than feminine, and vice versa. Rough, manly women and soft, feminine men are no longer surprising, as they would have been even fifty years ago.

The "male" behavior of women and the "female" behavior of men led not only to the universalization of social roles, but also gave rise to problems that did not exist before or they existed on a much smaller scale.

One of these problems is the physical abuse of a man by a woman. After the society moved away from the house-building orders, male violence was always discussed and condemned. Times have changed - and female violence has appeared. It, unfortunately, despite the fairly widespread and severe consequences (more on this below), remains, as it were, “behind the scenes”.

According to numerous researchers, domestic violence is by no means the lot of only marginalized segments of the population. Violence has been shown to be more common in families of drug addicts or alcohol abusers. But even in the most prosperous strata of society, domestic violence is not complete.

Quite surprising is the division of public opinion regarding what would seem to be a single phenomenon - domestic violence. Any violence is disgusting and unacceptable. But if we are talking about the fact that a man hit a woman (no matter for what reason), then the man is definitely blamed. However, one has only to say about the violence on the part of a woman, the reaction is exactly the opposite: “So there is something for it.” Sometimes they express compassion to the culprit: “A bastard man, he brought a woman to assault!” Almost from Fonvizin: “I feel sorry for my mother, she was tired, beating the father.” Sometimes they add: “What kind of a man is he who allows beatings from a weak woman?”

The result is a situation with two mutually exclusive conclusions. The man is to blame for male violence. In women's violence, in the opinion of such people ... the man is also to blame!

However, if we turn to the facts, then, apart from divorce, a man actually has no legal (I emphasize - legal) measures to counteract his raging wife. To endure and reassure oneself that no one died from slaps means to encourage female violence and completely lower oneself both in the eyes of relatives and in the eyes of strangers (colleagues, acquaintances). We are no longer talking about violations of civil rights. Defend and hit back? This will be exactly the notorious “male violence”. Moreover, this will give your wife the opportunity to report you to law enforcement agencies, presenting bruises. You can never prove that you inflicted them defensively. In addition, arranging a daily boxing ring at home is perhaps even worse than ending a relationship once. Should you report it to law enforcement? I'm afraid that such complaints from a man will be treated with irony there. All that remains is divorce, which most often deprives men not only of their spouses, but also of their children.

Often, when discussing this issue, one hears statements that a man can grab a woman and prevent her from fighting. I give an example of this: one of my acquaintances did just that. When his wife - a very jealous, suspicious lady with a very unbalanced character - rushed at him with her fists, he firmly took her hands and feet (she fought not only with her fists, but also with her feet) and did not allow her to strike. She fought and wriggled, tried to escape, growled and squealed, but could not do anything - her husband was stronger. She came up with another way to "revenge" for the inability to fight - after each such episode, she went to the police and presented bruises on her legs and wrists, stating that her husband "immobilizes and beats" her. The true origin of the bruises is clear - in order to keep a woman in hysterics, you need to hold her very tightly. However, constant complaints to law enforcement agencies and public opinion regarding domestic violence turned everything upside down: the husband became a rapist, the wife became a victim. He had problems at work because of the constant "signals" and the pressure of public opinion. Is it necessary to say how people who did not know the true state of affairs treated him? The woman, even after the divorce, regularly threw tantrums according to the same scenario - on the street, with mutual friends.

To me, this behavior reminds me of a hare drunk with permissiveness, which bullies a wolf, but when the gray one finally grabs it across the throat, it starts yelling: “They beat the weak!”

This is the legal side. As for the factual side, then not everything is smooth here. Very often one has to deal with indignant exclamations: “Well, what can a small, fragile woman do to a big man? Well, slap, so what?

First, violence in itself degrades human dignity, regardless of gender. A man, when he is beaten, is just as unpleasant as a beaten woman. Secondly, such an approach is very superficial, emotional and more like a hysteria. The facts, however, tell a very different story. If we turn to medical records (medical histories of men who received a criminal injury), it turns out that female violence against a “big coarse hairy man” is not a myth at all. And female physical weakness plays almost no role here. And here are the facts themselves (obtained from the analysis of the above-mentioned medical documentation):

1. Group crime, when a woman engages in violence "helpers" who hold a man.

2. Women in some cases are physically stronger than men. This applies to female athletes, especially those involved in wrestling. Moreover, there are times when a couple is made up of a slender man and a large, physically strong woman. In these situations, physical strength is not on the side of the man.

3. The use by a woman of a weapon or tool that equalizes the forces of the parties, and sometimes gives the woman a significant advantage (knife, ax, firearms). By the way, according to the US Department of Justice, women are 2.5 times more likely to use a knife as a tool of violence and 2 times more likely to injure men with a knife and heavy objects during domestic quarrels than men.

4. Using the state of a man when he cannot resist. Most often, these are injuries and wounds received in a dream.

5. Physical violence against men who are in one way or another dependent on a woman. For example, over a disabled person with whom a female criminal (cohabitant, wife) lives.

I will give one example from each point. All these cases (or rather, their consequences) I had the misfortune to either observe with my own eyes in the hospital, or learn from the medical history.

The woman, suspecting her boyfriend of infidelity, asked her ex-boyfriend to help her. While the ex-fiance was holding the guy, the girl beat him with her hands and feet. After the beating, the young man called an ambulance, but, having learned that there were no serious injuries, he refused hospitalization.

A woman candidate for a master of sports in hand-to-hand combat, without using a weapon, tool or any object, inflicted moderate bodily injuries on her boyfriend (a school history teacher) (a fracture of the lower jaw, nose bones and several ribs).

Using a knife, the woman inflicted three stab wounds on her husband. Both spouses at that moment were not in a state of passion or intoxication. The crime was committed deliberately and in cold blood.

A woman doused her sleeping husband with sulfuric acid. The result was a chemical burn of III-IV degree (exposure of the bones of the skull), which mainly affected the face, neck, and chest. The man went blind and lost most of his eyelids, lips, nose, forehead skin, cheeks. A premeditated crime, where one does not have to talk about affect.

The woman lived with her disabled husband, did not work anywhere. When her husband received a pension, she immediately took it away and drank it away. The criminal beat the criminal several times a day, and in a drunken state she beat her husband in a wheelchair with bottles, shoes and other items. Once, hitting her husband with a metal pot, she caused him a brain injury.

Chemical burns in the general statistics of injuries and injuries (especially criminal ones) are an infrequent phenomenon. It is much easier to stab a person with a knife than to prepare a chemical reagent and look for a chance to successfully apply it. However, going through my records of chemical burns, I come across an interesting statistic: half of the criminal chemical burns recorded in Ryazan for the period 1999-2002 were inflicted by women on men. By the way, the second half was applied by women to women (several cases repeatedly). All of them affected the face, proceeded very hard and left behind an indelible disfigurement of the face, visual impairment of one degree or another, up to blindness.

Medical records show that the exploitation of a man's state of being unable to resist is by no means limited to isolated cases. This includes not only chemical burns, but also stab wounds, sometimes with amputation of various parts of the body.

At the same time, there are many criminal cases of this kind. Here are some of them:

The world-famous act committed by Lorena Bobbit (cut off the penis of her sleeping husband). Claimed that this action was caused by violence on the part of the spouse, which, however, was not proven in court. On the other hand, Lorena was acquitted due to her husband's confused testimony and powerful pressure on the court from feminist organizations.

On January 13, 2010, a resident of Belarus, after her husband went to bed, stabbed him several times and cut off his penis.

A similar crime was committed by a Chinese woman, Yao Fengfang, and a resident of Belgium, Suzanne Lumen.

These crimes were committed against the backdrop of suspicions of the man's infidelity, his drunkenness. However, lynching, and even ending in murder or grievous bodily harm, is prohibited by the laws of most (if not all) countries. I'm sure any man would be outraged if men punished their unfaithful or drinking wives in the same way. Is this not a confirmation of the unequivocal inadmissibility of violence, be it female or male?

And here is a completely different case of domestic violence against a man. In it, the wife used her position: being a law enforcement officer, she beat her husband - a slender, soft teetotaler - and threatened him that if he complained, he would "sit down". What was the reason for this for her (except for sadistic inclinations) is not clear. By the way, before the wedding, she did not show any signs of aggression. Why else would you marry someone like that?

These are special cases for illustration purposes. The notion of a man as a “big rough hairy dork” is, to put it mildly, far-fetched, and such a thesis reeks of sexism. However, oddly enough, for some reason, it is about him that they remember when it comes to the violence of a woman against a man. “This cannot be, because it can never be. Where is it, show us? Women are beaten - yes, we know, they squeal, shout, run to relatives, to the police. And about men - no, they have not heard.

It is this phrase that shows the difference between the psychology and the position of a man and a woman who are victims of domestic violence. A woman much more often than a man draws someone else's attention to the fact that she is being beaten. Much more often he complains to relatives, friends, law enforcement agencies, various public (feminist) organizations. The latter is especially developed abroad. On the side of the woman is public opinion, which unequivocally condemns the male aggressor. She is helped by the sex stereotypes that have long been established in society - just about a “weak woman” and a “rude man”.

The position of a man who has become the object of violence from a woman is completely opposite. Sex stereotypes are definitely against him: “men do not complain”, “men do not suffer”, “men will not tolerate being beaten and humiliated” (although they cannot defend themselves either). And, of course, the classic: “You don’t discriminate against a real man!” This is also mixed with the sanctimonious opinion that "they don't just beat you." These stereotypes, according to psychologists and sociologists, mask much of the female violence, reducing the statistics to meager numbers. Men, even those who regularly experience domestic violence, are embarrassed to declare this, being afraid of being ridiculed - "this is not masculine." And, surprisingly, ridiculed by the same men - maybe even those who themselves receive cuffs from their wife or mother-in-law (yes, there is such a thing!). To admit that a woman hits you is considered the height of shame. Public opinion tends to hush up the problem of female violence, paying attention only to male violence. Law enforcement agencies treat male victims of domestic violence with disdain, due to the same public opinion. There are very few organizations that protect the rights of men, and they cannot exert such a powerful influence on the state of affairs and even pressure that feminist organizations exert, especially in the West.

Women's rights are defended by thousands of activists, politicians and officials, but who will defend the rights of men?

The thesis proclaimed by feminist organizations is widely known: almost every woman was humiliated and beaten by a man. The thesis is confirmed only by biased studies with a predetermined result, according to which the statistics are adjusted. It is "made" at various departments and faculties of "women's sciences". A learned statement allows women politicians to publicly declare men to be the enemies of humanity. The stereotype “if a man, then an aggressor, if a man, then a rapist” is used. Its result: anti-family laws, the presumption of guilt of men in almost any litigation with women, discrimination against men and deprivation of their civil rights, ignoring the rights of children. Lawlessness of men, broken families, lonely and unhappy women, children brought up in incomplete families - and several feminist politicians who make a career and forge a coin on someone else's grief.

However, the proportion of women's violence against men in the overall statistics of domestic violence is by no means so small. In particular, according to the U.S. Department of Justice (2000), in the United States, for every 15 women beaten by their husbands, there are 8 men beaten by their wives. Agree, this is not at all 95% of women and 5% of men, which Western feminist organizations claim. In addition, do not forget that women are 2.5 times more likely to use a knife as an instrument of violence and 2 times more likely to injure men with a knife and heavy objects during domestic quarrels than men.

In Russia, where sex-role behavior is mixed to a lesser extent, 6-10% of husbands are subjected to violence by their wives. For women, this figure is 30%, so the ratio is somewhat lower than in the US - from 1/5 to 1/3. Let me remind you that these data were obtained against the background of the fact that most men are simply afraid to declare violence against themselves, fearing ridicule, which I already wrote about above. Yes, there are more women who suffer from male violence. But the ratio of the power of public opinion, legal and administrative acts is absolutely different. If male violence against women causes powerful indignation at any level - from the policeman to the president, reaching in some cases man-hating hysteria and radical sexist appeals, then the problem of domestic violence against men causes only ridicule or, at best, short notes on private Internet blogs. Reports are made on violence against women at the highest levels, hundreds of studies, dissertations, and legal acts are devoted to it. Violence against men, as I wrote in the article “A woman beats a man”, remains “behind the scenes”. Hushed up, despite the real existence of the problem.

On the topic of family (domestic) violence, I studied more than 30 works of various levels: from abstracts in collections of works to monographs (the latter predominate). He selected works according to the criterion of gender neutrality of the title (without the word "woman" or "man"). I was very surprised that in all these works, domestic violence is identified exclusively with violence by men against women and children. I did not find a single work where, along with male violence, female violence would also be mentioned. As if such a phenomenon simply does not exist or a strict taboo is imposed on its discussion! If you are holding a book called Domestic Violence in your hands, then be sure that it will only deal with violence against women. The established stereotype about the “big rough hairy dork” does its job, despite the real state of affairs, confirmed by a mass of examples, statistics. I am sure that every person among his acquaintances has at least one man who is beaten or tried to beat by his wife (not to mention the psychological humiliation and pressure).

In fairness, it must be said that in the West, where, apparently, this problem is more acute, attempts are being made to influence the situation. At least, if not legislatively (more attention to violence against men by law enforcement agencies - by analogy with violence against women), then at least socially and psychologically. Psychological support centers for men who have suffered from domestic violence are being created, for example, the Ex-Husbands Club in London, Internet sites are appearing where men can pour out their souls. Of course, this will not help much, because after a "frank conversation" a man will have to return to the same family where he suffers violence. Or get divorced. By the way, there are more than 40 crisis centers for women who are subjected to violence in Russia. There, any woman can receive a full range of assistance, starting with an overnight stay and ending with an experienced lawyer who will represent her interests in court. And everything is free! Meanwhile, there are no such centers for men (with the exception of a couple of small ones, in small towns in Siberia). He has nowhere to go for help. And nowhere to hide from the criminal. Although, it is still there. Pivnushka. Heating main. Enjoy patriarchy, privileged lord!

Alexander Biryukov

As the classic wrote, all happy families are equally happy, all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way. However, one can argue with this quote from Anna Karenina: there are also enough templates in misfortune. Domestic violence, especially in our country, is one of the most common. Why does a man beat his wife? Let's try to find the answer to this question - and there, you see, we will get to the solution of the problem.

During the wedding, you are sure that everything will be just as wonderful as it was during the candy-bouquet period: “serenades under the window”, SMS with or without reason, tender love and other delights. Alas, sometimes this is just a shiny package, and the product itself under it is of a completely different quality.

After the registry office, you notice that a man is changing dramatically and requires unconditional submission. Maybe patriarchy is in our blood, although in reality it has long ceased to correspond to modern realities.

We just got married, there were no questions: you could take care of yourself, work or study - in a word, you were a modern person. And now he abruptly changes course and says: “Stay at home, I will earn one for my family. But do not wait for extra money - you will waste everything. Since you are my wife, get used to living at the level that I can provide. This is the first stage, and at the next stage you are already asking yourself: if the husband beats, what should I do?

You can leave right away, but everything is not so simple. What to do if this love is the same, real. Or if you are already pregnant? Yes, unfortunately, few people can be surprised by the fact that a husband beats his pregnant wife. It’s even scary to imagine this picture, but even worse is the fact that, due to her supposedly hopeless situation, the expectant mother endures and forgives again and again.

Why does the husband begin to raise his hand? Psychology suggests that for no reason at all no one dissolves. Most likely, there have been alarm bells before.

Remember, even before the wedding, he abruptly grabbed your hand, or yelled, or maybe he swung it - was it? And then he apologized, promised that it would not happen again or something like that. Even then it was worth thinking - do you need such love!

And here is another alarm signal: you met his parents and saw that in his family yelling at each other is in the order of things. Or he is from an incomplete family, where cuffs were a common way of education. Here it is worth thinking about the future three times - you can easily connect your life with a tyrant.

There is another common problem when the husband drinks and beats. What to do if your man likes to drink, and under the influence of alcohol, a seemingly decent, caring and good person becomes a hitter? The only way out is to stop drinking. Do not be afraid to put the question point-blank: either booze or family. Think about your future, about your children. After all, one day he can beat so that nothing can be returned and changed.

But unfortunately, few people manage to take timely measures and not bring their family to problems with assault. But if you didn’t think in time, and the tragedy has already happened? If your own husband beats, what to do? It is necessary to fix the damage, and make copies of the medical examination. Do not be shy and write a statement to the police - how else to fight if you are weaker? If a man beats a woman, he should not go unpunished.

Of course, there are also self-defense courses, but this path is quite dangerous. You won’t learn how to defend well in a few lessons, and by hitting back you will actually accept his rules of the game. Anything can happen in the heat of a fight, especially if the wrong items are at hand. It can end in severe injuries and even death - you can become both a victim and a killer. In Russia, tens of thousands of people die in such domestic fights.

In our country, unfortunately, it is not customary to sympathize with women who have fallen under domestic tyranny.

Even few people understand why a husband beats his wife. And women themselves often contribute to such an attitude, their diagnosis is the psychology of the victim. Say, if it beats, it means it's her own fault, she deserved it. Of course, you deserve it - if you allow yourself to be treated like that! Yes, there is such a saying “if the seventh husband hits in the face, then the matter is not in the husband, but in the face”, but not all women are to blame for everything themselves!

What explanations can be found if a guy hits a girl? The psychology here is simple, caveman. He thinks something like this: "If I recognize a woman as an equal, then I myself will become like a woman, I will cease to be a man." In fact, of course, the opposite is true. A real man considers it below his dignity to raise his hand against those who are weaker - this is the path of cowards and scoundrels.

If the husband beats, the main thing is not to endure! Don't be afraid to confront your husband! After all, as soon as you start to endure, you are included in this game, from which it is almost impossible to get out. Usually this is for life - and an unhappy life. Or maybe not for long - in a fit of anger, but anything happens under a drunken hand.

But the worst thing is that children can pay for such a woman's mistake! Quite recently, a tragic incident occurred: a quarrel ensued between a husband and wife, which escalated into a fight. The son (a boy of about 5 years old), seeing this, rushed to protect his mother, began to pull his father by the trouser leg. He pushed the child away in a fit of anger. The boy hit the battery and received an injury incompatible with life. The man was put in jail. The woman was in intensive care.

But even if, thank God, everyone stays alive, the crippled children's psyche will not allow them to live in harmony and happiness! Even if this game suits you personally, it injures the child for life. He sees everything: both fights and humiliation - and he will repeat everything in his life. The daughter will turn into the same victim, the son into a new tyrant. And you must break this vicious circle. Here and now. Instead of walking around with a bat and expecting to be pitied.

Why do women still get involved in this game? Why do they tolerate if the husband beats, do not fix the beatings, and even in the hospital they say that they “just fell down”? Like Yesenin: “Nothing, I stumbled on a stone, it will all heal by tomorrow.” Why?

Probably, cave instincts wake up in many of us too. There are many such paradoxes in nature, opposites are drawn to each other. A good girl needs a bad boy, a monogamous woman is attracted by Don Juan, give a “know-it-all” to a “fool”. We are looking for what we lack - and aggression can subconsciously attract us.

In addition, there are also white stripes in this game. Many people like it when a man then apologizes and repents - until the next beating. Something like Ivan the Terrible, who alternated repentance with executions. This is already such a ritual dance that even the neighbors get used to. A fighter husband sometimes looks like an alcoholic husband (especially since these roles are often combined).

In the soft version, during breaks, it turns into pure "gold": gentle, caring, attentive. And then rolls - and away we go. Maybe the moon came close, or Saturn was in the wrong house - who knows? But the male head is turned off, the muscles are used.

What to do if your family is on the verge of breaking up due to beatings?

Try to persuade your husband to go to a psychologist to figure out where the legs grow from. It is very difficult to solve the problem of assault without knowing the psychology of such behavior. If the problem comes from childhood, therapy will help you, and the marriage will be saved.

Mark your boundaries! Tell him that if he allows himself to use force against you again, you will do something that he will not like. For example, you move with your child to live with your mother. The main thing is that your threat really frightens him, and you were ready to carry it out. Don't threaten divorce if you're really not ready to say goodbye to it.

If neither a psychologist, nor boundaries, nor persuasion, nor prayers helped, and you already understand that you did everything you could, leave without regret! There will definitely be those who will accuse you of being unwise (as a rule, this is the mother-in-law protecting her son or the husband himself), they say, God endured, and ordered us; beats means loves; you are the one to blame; I couldn't save my family and a lot of things like that. Do not give in to this psychological pressure, do not listen to anyone.

Even if now it’s not beatings with bruises, fractures and dislocations, but only “harmless” slaps and pushes against the wall, it’s better to start acting! He will hit harder, and you will still leave! And only you decide with what damage: with a scratch on the cheek, with broken ribs or with a tombstone!

You, your safety and your children's safety is above all. This security is actually a male function! He must protect his family from all troubles. And if it is not that he does not protect, but he himself creates these problems, your fault is not here and cannot be. Whatever the love, financial situation, turn around and leave. If he loves you, he will take measures to fight against himself, and if not, then such a man is not needed. Your love is not enough for both of you!

The State Duma adopted a new bill on the decriminalization of beatings in the family! That is, now, if the husband dissolves his hands, you fix all the damage and file a complaint with the police, your missus will not face criminal liability! The state disclaims responsibility for the fact that 14,000 women die every year at the hands of their spouse (and this is just official statistics)! This means that now, apart from you, no one will be able to influence the situation with your beating husband!

The shocking truth: why a man beats a woman

In this article we will talk about why a man beats a woman. After reading it to the end, you will find out the reasons for this behavior of a man, as well as how to avoid all this. Try to put aside emotions, and then read everything that is written here.

The source of this article is, first of all, proven knowledge from the Holy Scriptures, as well as the recommendations of modern intelligent psychologists.

It’s not for nothing that I just said about what this article is based on. Under this article, you can find comments in which women angrily accuse the author of the article (i.e. me) of apparently beating or beating women myself.

This makes me smile, but at the same time regrets because women do not want to understand this article deeply, but are guided by personal experience or the experience of friends and relatives. But the fact is that our experience is usually a pitiful sight, and you need to be a very elevated person to rely on your experience in such a matter.

Also, especially for dear readers, a number of videos of famous lecturers and psychologists on this topic have been added. I want to start this article with the following:

Of course, women are gentle creatures that we, men, must cherish and protect. And there is no excuse for a man who raises his hand to a woman. This means that he is a weak, underdeveloped personality.

But there are certain reasons for these situations that most often arise in modern society. There are three main reasons why a man begins to raise his hand to a woman.

Why does a man raise his hand to a woman?

• A man beats a woman if she does not respect herself

There are situations when a woman idolizes a man and runs in front of him "on her hind legs." Basically, this happens if the man is very rich or very handsome.

The existence of such a situation means that a woman has no self-esteem. The man feels and sees it. First, he starts torturing her in bed. Perverted brutal sex from this opera. The woman suffers greatly from this, but does nothing and considers it normal.

If a woman does nothing with this situation, then the man begins to mock her, not only in bed, but also in life. Beat her, etc. In the end, he leaves her and finds a friend for himself a woman who will not allow him to do this and will indicate how to live correctly.

• A man beats a woman if she does not yield to him and destroys him mentally

A very common situation is when a woman always insists on her own. In any matter, she is not inferior to a man and begins to argue with him, as well as to prove her case.

This behavior of a woman drives a man crazy, since the female psyche is several times stronger than the male psyche. As a result, a man beats a woman or breaks down mentally (begins to drink, walk, etc.).

A woman should know this most common reason why a man hits a woman:

When she starts arguing with a man, he stops seeing her as a woman, and sees only his rival. The result is handshaking.

An exception is the situation if a man is reasonable and understands that his woman is stupid and condescending towards her.

• A woman suffers from her husband's assault under the influence of her fate

It happens that a woman in her husband comes across such a monster who beats her, even though she behaves as it should be for an exalted, respectable wife. This means only one thing - this is how fate works, which punishes her for actions from the past (often from past lives).

In such situations, the man will definitely also be punished by fate for this when the time comes, but in this situation he is an instrument in the hands of fate.

Thus, it can be understood that the mistakes of a woman and her wrong behavior are often the cause of assault in the family. These words may sound as if I still justify or defend such men. To clarify this point, I recorded a video in which you will also hear general recommendations about male assault in a relationship:

By the way, you can subscribe to my youtube channel if you like my videos.

What to do when a man started to fight with a woman?

If a man starts to fight, then a woman has three options for how to behave. And already on what kind of woman is in terms of her level of consciousness, whether she is reasonable, the option that she chooses depends.

• Argue with a man and prove your rights

Often women do this, not suspecting that this infuriates a man even more. Not only will he not calm down, he will be ready to kill her in a fit of rage, which is caused by her provocative behavior.

This behavior is chosen by stupid and unreasonable women who have no idea about the correct behavior of a woman. It is in such situations that domestic murders often occur.

• Move away from the man and put in place

If a man has entered a state in which he is ready to fight with a woman, then the most correct thing to do is to move away from him. Right at the moment it is better to get away from him, for example, to a girlfriend or mother, and wait until he calms down.

There is no need to prove to a man at this moment that he is wrong - it is useless. Moreover, you do not need to answer him - this will provoke an even greater conflict. If there is no way to get away from him to another place, then call the police squad, let them take him to spend the night in a place suitable for such subjects.

By the way, the involvement of the internal affairs bodies, when there are no other options, has a very sobering effect on a man, his mind immediately turns on. Also, a woman needs to understand that she needs to learn how to behave properly with her husband and in the family in general (an article about harmonious relationships in the family can help with this).

• Use the most effective way to solve all problems: spiritual practice

Often people in the most difficult moments of life turn to God. And rightly so, because, in principle, these moments happen in our lives for this. It is a pity that in most cases we do not attach importance to spiritual development, and often even make fun of it. But in vain.

So with regards to the situation under discussion: spiritual practice is the wisest way to solve the problem. We need to start praying. Every morning, at least 1 hour, preferably 2. It is in prayer that you will understand how to be exactly in your situation and what to do. This may take several months.

Why a man hits a woman

I did not go into the article in more detail about the causes of assault (for example, a husband is an alcoholic, and in a state of intoxication beats a woman) - these are all signs of a difficult family fate. The recipe here is the same: step back, engage in spiritual practice, involve law enforcement agencies, if necessary.

Once again I will list the main points of the article that you need to remember once and for all in order to avoid fights in a relationship:

• Why does a man beat a woman:
• She does not respect herself and holds on to him with all her might;
• She constantly argues with him and does not yield to him;
• This is how hard family life works.

1. If the man raised his hand, the woman may:

• Arguing with him and proving his case (sad result);
• Move away from him and educate (wise choice);
• Engage in spiritual practice (the best choice).

Remember these points and treat them wisely.

For a deeper understanding of this topic, I added a video of personalities who quite successfully and popularly lecture on the topic of relations between a man and a woman. You should listen to them.

Video from Sergey Yakovlev (Satya Das):

Video from Oleg Gennadyevich Torsunov:

What you choose is up to you, but remember that at least 80-90% of cases of assault in the family and relationships are to blame for a woman who does not know how to behave correctly. And also try to learn that by fate nothing unfair comes to us and everything is directed, first of all, to ensure that we begin to actively develop spiritually.

Waiting for you in the comments, it seems to me that you have something to say.

If a man raises his hand to his woman, the opinions of psychologists usually agree on one thing: first you need to understand the peculiarities of the situation itself, the behavior of your husband, as well as your own. The psychology of interpersonal relationships dictates an unspoken rule: do not rush into the pool with your head, but analyze its actions, make a perspective, what is the risk that this will continue?

Often women in this case are tormented by questions: is this the right way out, is it the only one? Is it necessary to leave my husband, how to treat him, maybe I can still fix everything? Thoughts reach the point that some women plead guilty to the behavior of their husband, begin to look out, delve into relationships, look for their mistakes and mistakes, concluding that it was they who provoked the husband. And all because their consciousness cannot come to terms with the idea that the man they loved, who in their fantasies about the future was a knight, handsome and kind, suddenly shows such an attitude towards them ... All this, of course, is very sad, but to endure such antics will then be much sadder. You don't need a tyrant man. If he repeatedly allows himself to raise his hand against you, this indicates that the only way out is to save himself. Because if he dared to raise his hand against you, then it would not be difficult for him to beat your unborn child, turning the life of your family into hell.

Think carefully, evaluate the situation. Do you want it? Sometimes it is better to take a step back towards a new life, because only a miracle can fix such a person. His despotism and disrespect will adversely affect the psyche, both yours and your child.

Why does a man hit a woman on the head

Why a man beats a woman: causes and consequences

Aggression in family relationships is a common occurrence not only in Russia, but also in Western countries. The statistics of domestic violence is very alarming: according to studies, every hour in our country one woman dies from male aggression. The reasons for the aggressive behavior of a man can be complexes, alcohol. However, most victims of domestic violence continue to live with a domestic tyrant in the hope of re-educating him.

When a person takes out anger and accumulated negativity on a weaker one, this indicates serious problems. At least - about the impossibility of correctly splashing out negative emotions, the maximum - about a mental disorder.

The main reasons why a man repeatedly raises his hand to a woman:

• Childhood spent in an aggressive environment. Often a guy or a man acting as a "kitchen fighter" himself in childhood became a victim of aggression from his father or mother, or saw such a relationship between his parents. Therefore, he perceives physical impact on a person as the only correct punishment. Anything can be a reason for assault: a broken plate, a tasteless dinner, jealousy, a bad mood. This is how a man demonstrates his dominance and at the same time “teaches” his wife how to live correctly.
• Alcohol, drugs. A person who is in an inadequate state can raise a hand against a woman. In such cases, when a man comes to his senses, he sincerely asks for forgiveness, repents, assures that he loves immensely. After a while, the whole situation repeats itself over and over again.
• Complexes, self-doubt. A man who does not know how to prove his dominance in a social environment, who experiences humiliation from others (work, friends), sometimes becomes a real domestic tyrant. From the outside, this person gives the impression of being soft and gentle. The mask of a respectable citizen breaks down in the family, and loved ones suffer from his rage and dissatisfaction in life.
• Sadism. This is a mental deviation, and in such situations, the sadist will not even need a formal reason for "shaking". Such a man justifies himself by the fact that the woman herself forced him to raise his hand. A sadist will punish a woman with a fist, a belt, a telephone wire - and to do this with enviable regularity.

Many outsiders believe that the victim is the cause of the violence. She allegedly gives him a reason for aggression: humiliates, insults, behaves inappropriately with other men. Psychology claims that this is not so: the same jealousy or words of insult can lead a man to an emotional breakdown, but if in a fit of uncontrollable rage he hit a woman at least once, you should not justify such an act and leave it unpunished.

In no case should you let the situation take its course and forgive even a single blow. And it doesn't matter if a man hits a woman lightly in the face or hard in the pope. If he did this as a punishment or as a result of a breakdown, this is an occasion to think about further relationships.

Women who were once “taught a lesson” often justify a despot by blaming themselves or an unfortunate set of circumstances. They forgive the man and do not understand that they are giving the green light to the release of his future aggression.

The situation in which a man hit a woman and was immediately forgiven can be repeated many times.

A woman who does not radically try to solve the situation with assault dooms herself to an unenviable fate. If the "kitchen fighter" is heated by alcohol, her life is in real danger. In such situations, it is always worth remembering that at any moment the family tyrant will switch to other pets - animals, children, elderly parents. Justifying the man who beats her, the lady dooms her loved ones to suffering, primarily children. Even if a negligent husband does not touch them with a finger, a childhood spent in an atmosphere of aggression will leave a negative imprint on their future life.

Reasons why a woman forgives a man who hits her:

• Beat means love. One of the most false popular assertions. No amount of love will justify the physical impact on a loved one.
• material dependency. The victim does not part with the aggressive spouse or cohabitant and forgives him due to lack of money and his own home. She has nowhere to go.
• "I will re-educate him." A dangerous delusion that threatens to lead to a real tragedy. Women associate themselves with a joint bond with a man who has previously "proven" himself on the aggressive side, in the hope that it is with them that he will be different: good and kind. In 99 cases out of 100, the miraculous transformation of a “monster” into a person does not occur.
• Pity for the beloved man. One of the most common female self-deceptions, threatening to turn into chronic masochism. The victim, having received in full, begins to feel sorry for his tormentor, accusing himself of provocations. The more often such situations arise, the more the most affected woman needs psychological help.

Psychologists, speaking of domestic violence, draw a clear line between a single physical impact and regular beatings. But even a single breakdown on a woman is a wake-up call that is worth listening to. In such a situation, you need to talk heart to heart with your husband or loved one, make it clear that by hitting a woman, he crosses the line, after which there will only be parting.

If a woman has a reliable “rear” in the form of good friends, a caring father or brothers, this will help calm down the raging aggressor. Sometimes it is enough just to threaten to tell close men about the situation, and the domestic despot begins to comprehend his behavior.

When domestic violence has become not isolated, but occurs from time to time or regularly, you need to fight for your health and life and make a cardinal decision - to leave forever from an aggressive cohabitant. No reason justifies the tyrant and the passive state of the victim. If the beatings in the family do not stop, it threatens to lead to a real tragedy and broken destinies.

The topical issue today is the question of what to do if a man raised his hand to his woman - the opinion of a psychologist on this topic is sometimes simply necessary in order to either save the marriage or not. The topic of our today's, it should be noted, very burning article is "Psychology of attitude: a man beats a woman."

How to treat it? Drop it and run right away? Many forums are devoted to this issue, because everything is much easier when we judge it from the outside, but when we get this situation, we begin to doubt, ask ourselves questions ... How could this happen to me? How could he do this, and how should I react, what should he say? Is the only way out - to break the relationship that has been built for so long? The opinion of a psychologist in cases where a guy raised his hand to a girl may be different depending on various factors. We will try to consider them and understand this situation. Indeed, in the psychology of relationships, when a man beats a woman is not a rare case, this problem worries many girls, whose guys sometimes behave extremely aggressively.

A lot of women can ruin their lives by making the wrong choice, deceiving themselves. We will try to look at different situations and the best way out for them, in order to help women find this difficult decision.

Why do men beat women - the answer of a psychologist

If a man repeatedly beats you, his woman, whom he seems to love, and raising his hand against you is the norm, think about whether you need such a life, such a relationship? Do you want to endure such behavior towards you all the time? And most importantly - ask if you respect yourself, because the fact that in this case your husband does not respect you is unconditional, because in such a situation he respects only himself! Think about whether you can live with a sadist, live knowing that such behavior will be repeated? After all, your life can turn into a nightmare, there is not even a question of love, tenderness, spiritual intimacy ...

In this case, the question arises: what to do if the incident occurred only once? If a man not only “chronically” mocks his chosen one, beats a woman, but just seems to have broken the chain, although this has not been observed before. How to react to it? Why does this happen? Why did the man do this?

Psychology is a science that is designed to describe, in particular, interpersonal relationships, in order to find the cause of certain actions. In the case when a guy beats a girl not systematically, but as if in a frenzy, without visible prerequisites, then psychologists tend to explain this outbreak of aggression in this way. Negative emotions tend to accumulate in a person. Therefore, if there are too many of them, a similar amount of negative energy must be thrown out in the same sharp, destructive way. Beating dishes, cutting paper... But sometimes an "eruption" of emotions can happen spontaneously, as if a man raised his hand to his woman and hit her. By this, he transfers his stress and negative experiences to the object that provoked them, so to speak, splashes out anger on his wife, who caused her, removes the stress factor with his own weapon. But the whole difference and drama is that not every person can do this. When we perform certain actions, we are guided not only by our own desires, but also by the appropriate situation, and our behavior is regulated by the norms of behavior of society, as well as the rules that we have created for ourselves, our priorities and faith, principles and character, which also influence actions. It follows from this that one man, no matter how angry he is, will not hit his wife for the reason that his psychology does not provide for such actions, for him it is very low, and the rules of his consciousness will not allow him to do this. The other one, who puts a woman on an equal footing, or even lower, is guided by a different upbringing, a different perception of reality, an attitude towards both a woman and things, in a critical situation, can do this.

The analysis of a woman's behavior in this situation depends on her attitude to this fact, how ready she is to accept this behavior of her husband, whether she can forgive him. An even more important factor to be guided by when analyzing the situation is the behavior of the man immediately after the deed. If he realized the criticality of the situation, confessed his act as an emotional breakdown, asks for forgiveness, realizes his inadequacy and promises not to do this in the future, you can forgive him, it even needs to be done, but not immediately. A man should not feel permissiveness and forgiveness, let him realize that he acted badly.

The opinion of a psychologist in a difficult situation, when a man beats his woman, is that you need to act according to the situation, there is no one correct approach to it. But the ability to objectively assess the situation is a very difficult, difficult task, because relationships are not only tenderness and kisses, they are also inevitable insults and quarrels. You need to distinguish between a slip and a mistake that is forgivable, from a constant pattern of behavior that can destroy your privacy. Think well about the consequences, analyze the situation and do as you see fit. If you are in doubt about what to do, whether you made the right choice, what situation yours belongs to, whether you are deceiving yourself, you can always contact a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help you understand the situation and lead you to the most correct decision. .

Relationship psychology: a man beats a woman

The psychology of the attitude towards the fact that a man beats a woman, which today destroys the cells of society, the struggle on the front of love, proud feminism and desperate patriarchy in the pursuit of equality, will become a useful tool for practical life together. After all, from such a serious problem as a man beats a woman, which, according to the official statistics of the Prosecutor's Office of the Russian Federation, annually in Russia alone leads to the death (often murder in the heat of passion) of over 10 thousand beautiful women of this boundless country, no one is insured.

It turns out that a man, who should ideally become a protection and support for his fragile and vulnerable life partner, poses the greatest danger to her. And if you pay attention to the results of a recent independent survey of Russian women of different ages, main occupation, material wealth, status (by the way, cruel family relationships that amaze a person’s imagination, when a man constantly beats a woman for a reason that justifies him or for no reason, are observed in very wealthy, as it seems from the outside, intelligent and prosperous families), as well as nationality, religion and culture, over 70% of the respondents admitted that they periodically experience various forms of physical violence and humiliation, and for 18% of the fair sex, constant bloody beatings ( moreover, both during pregnancy and in front of children) have become the norm for living together with a domestic tyrant.

And no matter how much useful advice the psychology of family relations from the plasma screens of women's talk shows and women's Internet portals, from the glossy pages of fashionable and gradually wiser magazines would give to victims of male torture, natural weakness, compassion, pity, forgiveness and, of course, love forced to endure such crimes for years, alas, irrevocable youth. Modern psychology calls for a strong-willed, strong-willed, independent and independent woman of the 21st century to pack things, take children and run away from such a would-be husband!

However, before proudly slamming the door of a cozy family hearth and never returning to this abode of evil, the psychology of family relations, which seeks in every possible way to save the cracked cell of society from the fact that a man beats a woman and sets a bad example of behavior for growing children, still stands move away from emotions and sensibly analyze the situation, preferably, of course, together without little witnesses and close relatives (for example, mother-in-law or mother-in-law), as well as at the negotiating table. Because, as folk wisdom says, two are to blame in any conflict, and nothing happens without a reason, motive or incentive. So, according to many men who raised their hand to a loving and beloved woman, a serious, agitated blood of a wild male prerequisite for a physical remark in most cases becomes a cunning and insidious provocation on the part of a seemingly wise keeper of the hearth.

For example, if a man refuses to fulfill the desires and whims of a girl, which is often associated with fashionable wardrobe changes and a collection of jewelry, travel and gifts, as a rule, the lady begins to throw tantrums with a shower of compassionate tears, exaggerated reproaches, degrading insults and obscene language up to threats to break off relations. Frankly speaking, not every man can endure such shows every evening at dinner after a busy and exhausted working day, especially if at the next festive feast he accidentally hears that his missus, without doubt and embarrassment, tells in detail their intimate life, so that to give the possibility of his man to universal ridicule, to hurt him as deeply and more painfully as possible and to publicly humiliate him more offensively, talking about it. What a loser he is in his career, and even in bed. In such a situation, when there are no more words (and the conversation is meaningless), but there are only emotions raging inside, it is really difficult to control oneself.

By the way, another significant reason that is explained by typical male logic, why a man beats a woman, is the refusal of intimacy, which is used by a proud and impregnable spouse as a punishment for past grievances and unfulfilled promises. Sexology condemns such behavior of a lady, but does not justify the aggression of an enraged male. To prove that he remains the master of the house, to establish his power, a man finds nothing easier than to break a woman by force, which, however, shows his weakness. The psychology of family relations is convinced: if a man beats a woman, it means that he is emotionally weak, spiritually wretched and insignificant and intellectually narrow-minded (and therefore, accordingly, needs a woman even more!), because he did not have enough prudence, sanity, patience and wisdom to peacefully resolve the conflict by identifying and eradicating its origins.

The most common reason why a temperamental man beats a beautiful and seductive woman is jealousy. Because, noticing light and unconstrained flirting on the side, a charming smile, pleasant compliments, mannered behavior and obvious sympathy, a husband offended and offended without words feels rejected, although his wife told him about her sudden and fatal love and firm intention to divorce. Still inadequate behavior of a man can be caused by his partner, who tries to restrict his freedom with requests, persuasion, categorical demands, invade personal space and change his usual way of life, for example, banning meetings with friends, going fishing, hunting, football matches, concerts, etc. health clubs and strip bars in the hope of keeping him focused on himself. Such a tactic to win a man's heart is really annoying, and the girl herself quickly gets bored.

However, in most cases, a man beats a woman who, after a short separation and a touching forgiveness, usually returns due to problems with finances, housing, raising children who need a father, if a similar situation occurred in the relationship of his parents. Such an algorithm of behavior is laid down at a subconscious level, so a man who beats a woman, no matter how hard he tries, is unable to control his actions and independently deal with his mental deviation, also caused by the cruel, neglectful and even indifferent attitude of his father or mother towards him in childhood and adolescence.

And finally, I would like to warn all defenseless women who still found the strength to forgive and return to tyrant husbands that if they can endure mutilation of the body and soul, then a loving son is unlikely to restrain his emotions and fists. So sincerely loving and protecting their mother in another battle with an inadequate father, a lot of teenagers committed a murder of a deliberate nature or in a state of passion. Therefore, dear, good-natured, all-forgiving and understanding women, before you open the door to the psychological and physical torture chamber, where your once beloved and guilty man without trial or investigation reigns, if you are ready to sacrifice yourself, then think at least about a prosperous future their children - it is better that they do not look like such a father.

Psychology of men - how to hook and conquer a man?

You can cook for a very long time about gender differences. Men are strong and hardy hunters who strive to maintain this image throughout their lives. Thanks to psychological research, it is possible to consider male logic and actions from a new perspective.

Psychology of a man in a relationship with a woman

Relations between members of the opposite sex often face various problems, the cause of which often lies in a banal misunderstanding. All people are individuals, but experts through research were able to identify several similar traits in character and behavior. Male psychology determines an important feature for representatives of the strong half of humanity - a focused creation, which directly affects their values, instincts, priorities and hobbies.

Psychology of a man in love

The representatives of the stronger sex are used to hiding their own feelings, considering them a manifestation of vulnerability, but being in love can change a person's behavior. It is necessary to pay attention to changes in appearance, behavior, and also take into account non-verbal signs. Psychology has determined the signs of a man in love through various studies and observations.

• increased attention. The desire to constantly be near or at least follow the object visually.
• Idealizing your behavior. Representatives of the strong half of humanity are trying to change for the better in order to stand out among rivals.
• Confidence. The psychology of men is arranged in such a way that if they experience feelings, they will be ready to talk about something personal.
• Praise the object of adoration. At the first stages, only positive aspects are noticed.
• Jealousy. The desire to be the only one makes the male half of humanity constantly compete with each other. No one intends to share his woman with others.

Psychology of men - how to hook a man or what?

The competition among women is huge, especially if the object of adoration is a worthy male. At the same time, one should not forget that the representatives of the stronger sex are hunters, and they are not interested in easy prey, so cunning will come in handy here more than ever. Tips on how to drive a man crazy, psychology has developed after research and surveys.

• Femininity and sexuality. The male sex loves with his eyes, so the external image should be given attention. It is important not to confuse such concepts as sexuality and vulgarity.
• Smile. A person who smiles often looks cheerful and cheerful, and this attracts like a magnet.
• Women's wisdom. A man should be the head of the family, so it is important to do everything possible to maintain his status, so there are no prohibitions and protests.
• Delight. The psychology of men claims that, oddly enough, they love compliments, so it is important to notice all the advantages and achievements.
• goddess of sex. Intimate relationships are of great importance, so you should not be afraid to open up in order to give pleasure to yourself and your partner. Women should thoroughly study their body.

Why men cheat on their wives - psychology reasons

The statistics are disappointing, since approximately 40% of husbands are not faithful to their soul mates. Many refer to natural polygamy, but this is nothing more than an excuse. The psychology of a man's infidelity has real reasons that lead to infidelity: changes in a woman for the worse, constant scandals in the family, misunderstandings, lack of sex with his wife, alcohol abuse, and so on. There is an expression that fits this topic in the best possible way - no one cheats on good wives.

Why a man beats a woman - psychology

Unfortunately, but domestic violence is not uncommon, and sometimes it leads to irreparable consequences. Many women, fearing judgment, hide the fact that their husbands beat them, continuing to live in unbearable conditions. In most cases, not only the fairer sex suffers, but also children. Psychology determines the reasons why a man beats a woman, taking into account the most common character traits. All situations are individual, but it is possible to identify common grounds for such aggression.

1. Alcohol. According to studies, a man raises his hand to a woman during a period of extreme intoxication, when actions are out of control.
2. Treason. In such a situation, the reaction can be justified, since betrayal can be a strong blow.
3. excessive jealousy. A sense of ownership in some situations can turn into an obsession, which leads to assault.
4. Low self-esteem. Many weak people seek to exalt themselves at the expense of other people who are physically weaker than them.

Male owner - psychology

The feeling of possessiveness is inherent in many people, but for some it turns into a mania. There are men who are pathologically jealous and conceited. It is important for them not only to have a woman, but also to know that people around her admire her. The idea that the chosen one can leave for them is similar to the effect of drugs. For them, the care and tenderness of the second half is very important. The psychology of a man in a relationship identifies several reasons that can make him an owner.

5. Such representatives of the stronger sex are the sons of emotional women or were raised in an inferior family.
6. Bad experience, disrespectful attitude of women and infidelity.
7. The loss of a loved one who was important in life.

Causes of jealousy in men - psychology

It is difficult to meet among a male representative who would never experience feelings of jealousy. The form of its expression directly depends on the nature and degree of upbringing. The psychology of men in love indicates that they naturally have a sense of possessiveness. Jealousy can be caused by such reasons: self-doubt, alcohol consumption, patriarchal upbringing, violent imagination, negative experiences and a desire to violently express one's own feelings. Jealousy is manifested by incredulity, suspicion and persecution.

Psychology of men's behavior

Representatives of the stronger sex are significantly different from women, even in that it is more common for them to act than to feel. They are more silent and it is more important for them to see than to hear. Another important detail concerns the fact that “hints” are not typical for the male part of the population, and accuracy and essence are important for them. The behavior of a man is different in that he rarely pays attention to details, focusing on the situation as a whole.

Men's fears - psychology

Representatives of the strong half of humanity and fear are, as it were, incompatible things, but this is only an image that many support. Psychologists assure that there is no person who does not have phobias. In relationships with women, there is a fear of being rejected, becoming dependent, unnecessary, humiliated and not meeting the requirements. The secrets of male psychology are also revealed by other male phobias.

8. The representatives of the stronger sex are afraid to be insolvent, not only in material terms, but also in other areas.
9. Another fear is the loss of reputation and the fear of becoming an object of deception.
10. Many men are afraid of loneliness and manipulation.

Greedy man - psychology

A person who knows how to save money and who is greedy are two different concepts. There are several main reasons that can explain male stinginess. The most common reason is upbringing and a bad example. The psychology of a man's behavior explains that he can become greedy because of a poor past or uncertainty about the future. People who are selfish do not like to share anything. To correct the situation and get rid of this terrible trait, only a person with a problem can, through introspection.

Narcissism in men - psychology

In recent years, the idea has been widely promoted that you need to love yourself and then everything in life will turn out perfectly. The opinion is correct, but there are situations when the line is erased, and a person already begins to neglect others for the sake of gratifying his own ego. Psychology uses such a concept as a male narcissist less often than in the case of women. In addition, in the representatives of the stronger sex, this feeling manifests itself in a latent form. It will not be possible to forcefully rid a person of narcissism, and work on oneself will help here. Highlight the main signs of narcissism.

11. Constant praise of their virtues, and often they are fictitious.
12. Denial of any shortcomings, and when others talk about them, this causes aggression.
13. Indifference to the lives of other people and even close relatives.
14. The psychology of men highlights another feature of the narcissist - perfectionism, which after some time turns into dissatisfaction with oneself with other people.
15. Idealization of all spheres of one's own life and the constant desire to compete with others, proving one's superiority.
16. The desire to show other people their own significance.

The psychology of an abandoned man

Parting is a difficult period in the life of both partners. Many believe that men are more bloodthirsty in such situations, but in fact this is not the case. There are a huge number of scenarios and reactions that can follow as a result of breaking up a relationship. Male psychology in love offers three main patterns that determine the further state and actions of people.

17. Separation initiated by a woman. Many will be surprised, but according to statistics, men are three times more likely to suffer from love depression than women. They often hide their grief in alcohol or use different types of extreme sports.
18. Separation by mutual agreement. When the relationship gradually fades away, the breakup is not painful. If the end is put as a result of a scandal, then the psychology of a man involves the release of steam.
19. Separation at the initiative of a man. In such situations, in order to hide their shame, many members of the stronger sex prefer the tactics of attack, blaming and insulting the woman. Statistics show that men often break up when they have a backup option.

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Do you have a desire to stop abuse of yourself once and for all? In this article, we will describe practical tips and an effective method to help eliminate domestic violence.

The current family situation, when a woman is subject to violence from her husband, must be resolved in one of the ways: the wife can continue to endure frequent beatings, or she can radically change her approach to life.

Behavior Modeling

When a woman has made her choice and consciously goes for a divorce from her husband, who raises his hand against her, she initially needs to find the reason for her particular model of behavior in the family. Otherwise, there is a high probability of repeating the same mistakes with the next partner. If you don't figure it out why does a husband beat his wife a similar situation is sure to repeat another time. Do you need to understand why this is happening to you? Why do you allow yourself to be treated like this? In the last question, the important word is “allow”, because if you stop such behavior from the very beginning, when husband beat his wife for the first time - today the question of frequently repeated beatings would not arise.

If, despite everything, a woman continues to love her husband and stops at the decision to save the marriage, it is necessary to clearly understand and be prepared for the worst turn of events: if husband beats his wife and further, despite the promise - the wife must part with him.

Both the first and second options for a possible development of events involve a frank conversation on the topic why men beat women. It is necessary to find out the reason for the use of force in the family and how to deal with it.

The model of our behavior in adult life is determined by the upbringing and the environment in which our parents raised us. As children, we all imitate our parents by playing up family behavior with our toys. Of course, sometimes parents are not always right, but on a subconscious level, we still follow the set example. We are clones, copying the behavior of our parents.

Every family instills in their child ideas about the family, where the relationship between parents is taken as the basis.

But it is not at all your fault that your actions are identical to the behavior of your parents! After all, you were not given another example to follow, in the formation of personal qualities.

However, today you are already an adult and are able to independently build family relationships - exactly as you think is right.

If a man beats a woman, why it happens? First of all, you need to understand the root cause of his aggression towards a partner. Once you know the motive, it becomes much easier to figure out how to prevent it.

Why does a husband beat his wife psychology

We have already understood that the formation of a child as a person begins with education, where an important role is played by the atmosphere of family relations between parents. Drawing an analogy with adult life, we can affirmatively say that the behavior, outlook on life and beliefs of the child are formed on the basis of the relationship between his parents.

Good families set an excellent example for their children: love, understanding, care, respect, freedom of choice - all this is present in psychologically healthy families, thanks to which the child grows up as a full-fledged member of society. But not everyone is so lucky in life and there is a completely opposite atmosphere, where an unfavorable climate cultivates a completely different personality.

According to psychology, if a man raised his hand to a woman, most often you need to look for the roots of the problem in his childhood and the relationship between his parents. In most cases, such a child was the object of ridicule, humiliation and misunderstanding on the part of the mother and father, as well as peers. The result of such events is a notorious man, for whose self-affirmation, the use of physical force is required against the weaker sex - the wife.

There are cases when such cruel events in life do not affect self-esteem, but the relationship of parents managed to be postponed at the subconscious level - when husband beats his wife. Today, a man simply reproduces a picture familiar to him from childhood, already practicing on his family.

The actions of a man to combat negative subconscious attitudes and the prevailing stereotypes of the family:

1. Awareness that today's behavior is the legacy of their parents.
2. Understanding wrong actions.
3. A firm decision to change their behavioral attitudes.

A man must learn to work out a different behavioral model.

Beatings in the family: the main causes of violence

Unconscious childhood trauma can be in a woman. There is a possibility that childhood memories may subconsciously push to the role of the victim. This happens if the girl was bullied by her father and mother or sisters and brothers. A woman must recognize this fact and understand her behavior, as well as understand the essence of her beliefs and learn to reject them, be confident and love herself. And until that happens, she will remain a victim.

It is worth realizing that all problems are rooted in childhood, your behavior is identical to how your father addressed your mother. But at that moment you were defenseless, and at the moment you are a conscious member of society and only you have the right to decide what kind of life you should have!

You have all the tools in your hands: change the type of activity, start doing the thing that has attracted you for a long time. You will have self-confidence, your favorite activity will give you a lot of pleasure. Remember that you are no worse than others and therefore deserve the best! And don't forget about it for a minute.

To realize the main cause and possible consequences of assault in the family is an important psychological moment. Remember if husband beats wife the consequences can be very different. Sometimes outbursts of aggression lead to serious injuries or reach irreparable consequences. Do not forget, not only you are suffering, your children also experience all the pain on themselves and may repeat these mistakes in the future. No child would want to witness the quarrels of their beloved parents.

Think what example do you set for your children, who from an early age are accustomed to seeing bullying of a loved one, and they don’t see another example. So what happy family future can your children dream of?

Of course, your children will also inherit the behavior that they are used to seeing in the family. Your behavioral model will be transferred to a new unit of society - created by already adult children, just like you did.

On someone this ill-fated cycle of events must be stopped. And only you can change these events for the best and build a sincere and tender relationship with your spouse. In realizing the severity of the problem, its solution can come. Get ready for major changes. Undoubtedly, for an effective result, a lot of time and patience is needed, perhaps even a consultation with a specialist - a family psychologist.

You need to make a promise to yourself: a husband who does not want or could not change is not worthy of you - divorce will be the best solution.

Teaching your husband to control his emotions

Basically if man hitting a woman it means that he cannot cope with his aggression and is able to express it only in such a brutal way. At the moment of a quarrel, the accumulated anger reaches its climax, so the first thing that is required of a man is to subordinate his emotions to reason.

For these purposes, psychologists have developed two of the most effective methods to help a man curb his anger:

1. Teaching a man to express his emotions with words, not with physical assault. Voicing aloud your emotional state will be most welcome. It is enough to say the phrase “I am very angry with you” and the fist is no longer needed.
2. Find a way to use your aggression in sports. Having developed the habit of throwing out all the negativity on a punching bag or in the gym, a man is freed from violent emotions, thereby improving not only psychological health, but the whole organism.

Female model of behavior

In family relationships, there is a logical chain of events: cardinal changes in one family member lead to changes in the rest. And this is an undeniable truth.

Before you start working on changes, you must definitely come to the realization that everything that happens is vital for the preservation of your family. A wife should support her husband as much as possible in his aspirations to become better. Praise for successful work, words of support will greatly inspire the spouse. All actions and behavior should indicate the joint passage of this difficult period - together in your intentions to change and become the happiest!

It is worth eliminating any criticism of the husband from the vocabulary, this moment is especially important with strangers. Past misdeeds should be forgotten and reproaches towards the husband should not sound from women's lips. Think about how pleased you are when you are criticized every day, they say that you are not like others? Everything should be different, enter pleasant encouragement for the correct behavior of your spouse, and he will be even more eager to become even better.

What will happen to the children?

Your children have many times become unwitting witnesses of how the father raises his hand to the mother. This impotence gives rise to dislike for the pope in them - they not only fear him, but also do not respect him. When the child grows up, your story will be repeated in his family again - the girl will become a victim, and the boy will become an aggressive husband. Have you dreamed of such a fate for your children? Or maybe you want your children to have no other feelings than charity and hatred for their parents?

In the decision to change their lives, children play a very important role. Initially, you will have to re-win not only the trust of children, but also earn respect. Actions, words - all this will help restore lost intimacy and trust in the family. It is necessary to eliminate children's fear and gain respect!

Solve the problem of domestic violence once and for all! Start changing this minute. Remember that domestic violence can be avoided and the described methods will help!