How to let go who is all for you? How to let go of a person from thoughts: Tips for a psychologist

Anna Base

Love is a great feeling that he paints and makes people better. But, how difficult it is to meet in this life mutual love. As a rule, usually one loves, and the second uses it at the very first opportunity, it goes away. It is difficult to be on the site of the halves that. After all, when the first frantic love passes, it becomes clear who really loves, and who enjoys the helplessness of their partner.

To be near the expensive person, hugging a loved one and fall asleep in hot arms - this is the top of bliss. But what to do when you start to understand that the second half is suffering from the fact that love has passed, and there is nothing more that he would have held next to you? The best in this situation is to let go and forget. It is very painful, no one argues. But it will really be better for both.

Just do not solve this act spontaneously. The relationship is not as easy as it may seem. Think of every step, "Scroll" in my head this situation and act.

Why you need to let go who does not love you

Symptoms, according to which it is clear that it is necessary to let go of the outgoing. Here are the most important of them:

You catch yourself on what is being humiliated to the partner, prompting a response feeling.

No wonder they say that all lovers see the world in pink color. Maybe not peace, but the object of his adoration, for sure. We do not notice in a partner of flaws, squashs, and even moreover, as in fact he belongs to you.

But at the intuitive level, everyone is able to understand what something is wrong occurs. Does your delicate feelings have no answer? It is less likely to pay attention and more and more time partner tries not to spend not with you? It's time to think and remove pink glasses. Analyze and get ready for impact. Sooner or later he will follow. Just do not squeeze love and do not humiliate, then it will be even more hurt.

Intimacy and nothing more.

Do not think that this can not be. After all, the senses of the partner can only be dictated by the carnal passion that you, at first, accepted for love. No one claims that physical proximity is not important. But this is not the main thing in the relationship. Passion over the years will pass, and people should experience love to each other to continue to live together. Where did love begot? And was she?

You too trust your favorite person, and you do not.

In his sense, a loving person becomes blind. He trusts his partner all his problems shares them, looking for understanding and help. But take a closer look, do you trust you? Do you tell you a loved one about your difficulties and adversity or hides the truth? Also, does he hold the word given to you? Do I need to cry in the pillow from the resentment when once again were deceived or did not fulfill this promise? Or just let go and forget?

Sacrifice yourself, and it is impossible to do this.

What keeps a man who does not love you next to you? Of course, the benefit. He is just comfortable next to you. In addition, from a sense of selfishness, an oblastic person tries to make you prove your love for him. That is, every suitable situation, sacrifice yourself. If you see that several times in a row you have to sacrifice your plans, tastes or judgments, then you are definitely used. Think about and watch. But stop sacrificing yourself. This dedication does not need anyone, and even more so, you.

After analyzing and against, you decided that your partner does not like you. So how to abandon intrusive illusion, what else can you fix? Time will come and it will still have to do. So let it happen when you are ready for a serious conversation and rupture.

Let go and forget

Options for parting with a person who does not love you just two:

- You yourself decide on this step and take the initiative to your hands. It is very difficult, but sometimes not to expose yourself even greater pain, it is better to do this.

- The day will come when your favorite just claps the door and leaves, leaving behind the barking of the resentment.

In any of the options, you will be extremely painful and annoying. Neon understanding of what is happening, bitterness and pain is what awaits you after parting. But now you need to think about what to do next. It is necessary how to calmly get out of the current situation and impose the least harm.

A person who loves greatly, with difficulty realizes that there is no response feeling. He grabs the string of his love, as for the rescue circle. It seems to him that if you release this "straw", he drowshes. Do not imagine feelings for your partner saving. You were alone until this moment, so you now do not scary to stay alone. Not only that your loveders never saved you, so now he will not help you. What for? After all, you don't need him. Do not think that when he disappears from your life, everything will turn into a darkness. This is not true! False hopes that you lay on your loved one are not justified. Some time after the break, you will realize that the world of Yapik and is interesting even when there is no one next to whom you love so much.
Learn to be grateful. After all, by and large, your beloved is not to blame for the fact that he has no response to you. So it happened. Forgive him for the fact that he could not give you happiness and love, for the fact that you could not understand on time that there are no feelings, and do not blame him in anything. Please accept the fact that the reasons that did not give you to be beloved may never be known. Most likely, he himself cannot call them.
Take a sheet of paper and write on it what you are grateful to this person. List all the important points when you felt the happiest and most unfortunate man in the world. Negative emotions are also an experience that will not let you be mistaken in the future. Our meetings and parting are not accidental, they give us the opportunity to comprehend and learn from their mistakes and misses. Just do not dear with yourself, sincerely thank your beloved for being in your life.
To restore sincere equilibrium and do not make nonsense at the time of parting, try to meditate. It's not hard. You need to know the sequence of actions and tune in to relax.

- In order to, you have to stay in the room one. It is advisable to know that no one will disturb you at this time;

- Disconnect the TV, phone numbers and doorbell;

- Conveniently arrange in the chair, on the sofa, on the floor and relax;

- Include any course of meditation, which will find on the Internet and close your eyes.

Make a boat from paper and release the river or stream. Think about what troubles and misfortunes sing with him, and only the freshest course will bring you only joy. Wish the ship of a happy swimming and say a lullhood.
Buy shoes less, give them a loud name "Dependence", wear and do not remove all day. At the end of the day, when you throw off this terrible shoes with yourself, you will understand that without addiction to live much easier.

No matter how parting happened, keep yourself in your hands. Your one will not swear. Moreover, the person who does not love you will not love and now.

Let us return to those two options for the development of events mentioned above.

So, you decided that the person who is next to you does not like you at all, but only uses. It is difficult to decide on parting yourself, but it is better today than then when it is even more painful. Think up to the smallest things the conversation and moments that can be key. Warn a partner that you want to talk to him seriously. Cook a delicious dinner, cover a beautiful table. Let it be another noble gesture on your part. Do not start talking for meals, find the themes that you both are close and interesting. Now that you both calm, you can start a conversation. Tell me how you were good together. Explain to the person that you understand perfectly well that he does not like and further stay together will be only flour. Do not deceive and do not blame the guilt. Never say that you have found another. After all, this deliberate lie will cause you who does not love the feeling of ownership, which will make it stay with you, and then you finally confuse in your relationship.
The second option is much more complicated. Usually the partner goes unexpectedly, sometimes not even warning about his care. You return home, and there is a note. Or it happens during the scandal when the beloved, shook you with insults, collects things and runs away on the night forever. The first desire is to run next. After all, he was offended at you. So you are to blame, and therefore you need to apologize urgently. Stop! Do not torfer events. This is another check on whether you love you the second half or not. If he loves, it will be back. And if not, then the output is one - release once and forget.

Cut! Everything that was before the moment you closed the door behind your unfulfilled dream. Each adult has survived it at least once in his life. We fall in love, raise the object of adoration to the heavens, and he gives us a complete indifference to the ground. Little in the light of the lucky ones who have not experienced Fiasco in love.

It is safe to say only one thing - it will hurt and hurt, you are waiting for sleepless nights and sea tears. Play, throw out negative emotions and bitter feelings, pour the negative and calm down. Do not believe anyone who claims that tears are not a medicine. First of all, tears are the best release of negative emotions that cannot be kept in themselves. Another thing is that you do not want someone to see your suffering. Again, outsiders. Close people are able to understand your pain and help survive this misfortune. This pain will accompany you for some time, but it is necessary to live next. No matter how hurts you, do not try to return the outgoing. If he has feelings for you, he will return, and if you were right and you do not like, it is better to let go.

December 29, 2013.

As soon as you have a gap, you immediately cut a person from your life.

You all ended, accept it.

The first advice of a psychologist about how to forget his beloved person forever, will be just such. Your past reality is not.

Your former relationship is dead, a person died. Start looking at it now.

Fully release the past.

You seem to reborn and start with a blank sheet.

New World, new people.

2. Absolutely no contacts with former beloved

Delete any connection with a person:

• in the Internet;
• by phone;
• by mail;
• on Skype and other means for communication.

3. Remove all psychological anchors from life, causing memories of the former passion

What anchors need to be removed from life in detail:

• general music that you spent time together;
• gifts (or hide in a basement, or hand over to friends);
• do not go to those locations and places where you spent cool dates before;
• any forgotten things: be it clothes or not thrown into a lens from the former passion (it's time to throw out);
• remove overall photos and videos on your computer, phone and other media.

Making these steps, and you get rid of restless thoughts on how to forget the person you love, and he is not, without any conspiracy and other nonsense.

4. Do not fall into his perception: do not think about what his head is busy

Do not fall into someone else's perception and do not think about what the head of the former partner is busy!

Otherwise you will fall into the pain of loss.

Do not interest the life of the past partner and do not fall into someone else's perception.

What does it mean in detail:

1. You should still be on what kind of relations a former partner and with whom he is now.
2. It does not matter whether your former passion suffers or not. At the moment, only your well-being is important.
3. Do not hang and do not slide on the page in social networks at the former person.
   Having learned that he is doing better, you will not be better from it.
4. You do not get better, nor worse with rumors or some news about the past person.
   Absolute and complete indifference!

Implement this principle and no longer need the advice of a psychologist about how to forget the person with whom never to be together.

5. Do not blame yourself in the fact that you will never be together

In such cases, the focus of a person can only be busy with a negative, and this is a mistake to make the culprit only.

Otherwise, negative energy will accumulate in you.

It is not your fault! It happened what happened.

Do not scold yourself!

A fine linewhat needs to be remembered.

1. It is cool that you are looking for your mistakes, analyze your behavior in order not to repeat your jambs. But: Find these mistakes and do not attack and do not blame themselves!
2. Find mistakes for yourself not to repeat them in other new relationships, and not to go back to the past partner!

You find your shoals to not repeat them with a new partner and never step again on the same rake.

Remember it, and you no longer have to look for answers to questions from psychology on how to forget the person who you love, quickly and in a short time.

6. Remove new awareness and lessons in order not to step on the same rake again

Lessons remove by analysis.

The analysis is done using a handle and paper, asking for itself as much as possible, and in writing to them.

The more questions, the better.

1. Who is to blame for the fact that you initially chose a wrong partner?
   Answer: I myself!
2. Why did it happen, how did you allow it?
   Answer: I did not have personal borders, I did not imagine the person who wanted to see next to him.
3. Which person I want to see next to what I admit, but what is not in the relationship?
   The response indicates the exact characteristics of the personality, and not appearance.
4. What did I understand and extract from past relationships?
5. What mistakes I do not need to repeat again with another partner?

Be maximally sincerely with yourself when you will write answers to these questions.

Thus, you yourself will decide your problems and will disappear in the advice of the psychologist about how to quickly forget your loved one and start a new life.

7. Do not fall alone: \u200b\u200bKnow that you are always in abundance of choice

You must have faith in the fact that you will have another person with even more emotional bond and chemistry.

Know that you are always in abundance of choice. You can always find a soul mate.

Do not watch it like a daily duty and need to get a new partner as soon as possible.

Just understand that it is stupid to keep in my head, what is no longer, until your death.

Accept changes and do not resist them.

Any gap that happens to you - this time of powerful growth for you.

Remember it and no longer worn on the topic on how to forget the person who likes you so far.

8. Do not blame your old partner and do not keep offense at him, remove burglarism

Some people love even a year after the gap to continue writing a suit former or calling from time to time.

People keep anger and negative of past relationships, which then manifest themselves and give effect in the following relationship. Having the same type of thinking in new relationships, all old errors will be repeated new.

Do not get into this closed repeating circle.

A fine line. Instead of falling into bittenness on a partner, it is better to deeply thanks him for what was!

Through hatred, you yourself will support energy relationship with the former lover, cling to it and how much is in vain to give energy to negative thoughts. Do you need it?

You can easily go to such hatred. Get rid of it, and thereby remove the concerns on how to forget the person who did hurt you once.

9. After the break, do not carry everyone under one comb "all of all such", otherwise you will attract such in your life

Often we hear from a person after parting: "All the guys goats" or "all women ...".

They painfully broke up with a partner, and now in all themselves are looking for evidence that "all the men are" or "all women are ..."

And they do it unconsciously and do not understand this.

And you know what? It will be like self-free prophecy.

You will actually attract such people to yourself.

And also having these installations in the head, you will unknowingly look for such negative characteristics in other people, try to look for them confirmation.

Why do you need it?

Stop pouring everyone under one comb, and do not ask any more questions on how to forget the person who betrayed or did in a certain way, not justifying your expectations.

10. Conscious that there is nothing permanent in the world, everything comes and leaves

Look at it from the spiritual side.

• You were born alone and die alone. Nothing is eternal.
• Everything is constantly changing. And it is useless to resist changes. These are the laws of the universe.
• Do not cling to old emotions and memories.
• Life as a slide. You are then upstairs, then below. And that makes it interesting.

Realizing this, you get rid of yourself from dilemma on how you can forget the person you love very much and blindly.

11. You must be still open to the soul for a new person, realizing deep inside the fact that nothing lasts forever

There is such a trap of the mind: "Think that relations will last forever." Do not live in this illusion!

But at the same time, you still open up new people after the breaking of old relationships, you are not afraid to reveal and expose yourself to the present before others.

Continue to open 100% with other people and solve moments together.

But realize deep inside that everything has the end.

Example. You eat delicious ice cream. You can enjoy them. Enjoy the process. But deep inside you realize and understand that ice cream will end.

If you think that you will continue to have the same ice cream Non-stop until the end of your life, you fell into the trap your mind.

He drives you behind the nose and plays with you.

Give yourself a report in this. Know all about them.

It will be useful to remind this to women who are wondering on how to forget a married man who love and still dream with some blind hopes towards him.

A fine line

• Do not forget to enjoy the process. It's how to enjoy life until you died.
• The same thing in the relationship: Enjoy them, because they can end.
• But do not deprive yourself to get pleasure in a relationship, having this knowledge.

Wise words Osho in video

On our site you can also in order to survive parting and gap relationship.

12. In search of a new partner, do not compare it with the old, do not look for him a replacement, look for and create a new experience.

1. Do not try to find the same partner as you had.
   Do not look for the same person.
2. Do not compare.
   It is just all spoils and ruins.
3. Do not look for the same personality characteristics like a former partner.
   Do all for the sake of a new interesting experience!
4. Do not impose by the former manner and the style of communication as it was an old partner when meeting a new person.

You can also in the new publication on attachment and love addiction.

Remember these principles, and you will stop steaming about how to forget your loved one, if you see him every day.

Example

Otherwise, for example, the guy broke up with a girl and now when meeting the new one, he wants a new girl to behave the same way as ex.

Then he imposes a new girl behavior that is not inherent.

But it behaves quite differently, the guy's waiting rushes and it negatively affects your flirting and the process of rapprochement.

This is a mistake to see the replacement of the former in the new person.

It only worsens your condition.

Do not try to close your pain with a new partner!

13. Revise the features of your personality, remind yourself of them

There is such an illusion after parting that now allegedly "you are not self-sufficient, because you have no second half."

Especially meets from girls who are disturbing troubled thoughts on the topic about how to forget your beloved man.

When everything ended, the time to return and revise the features of their personality.

It is important to remind yourself about them!

It is necessary to revise the new itself, which passed through all this journey with the past partner.

Keep to enjoy life, opening and learning even more new yourself.

14. Understand that your passion, self-sufficiency and love is always with you, no one can take it from you

Consider three simple steps on how to forget your loved one, and we will analyze the psychology of such perception.

1. Aware that no one can take your passion from you and the true destination.
2. No one can take your life from you, your bias.
3. Your self-sufficiency should never depend on external. You have a second half or not, you are still self-sufficient.

15. Allow yourself to be with a better partner, get rid of old restrictive beliefs

We attract those who we are.

You must realize that you can attract a better partner.

But the paradox is What people themselves do not want to be with the best partner!

Why does it happen to people?

Because after a long relationship man taught himself: "I love my soul mate. I do not want the best one, I want the best for both of us. "

Track your habit in yourself and get rid of it.

People can not believe that to forget the person who you love unrequited and blindly, you can and need.

16. Do not look for a new partner due to revenge or in order to call jealousy from the old

• Do not fall into your ego trap! Do not have these low insignificant selfish motifs.
• This is a rough mistake to find new partners only with the aim of asserting in the eyes of the former!
• Otherwise, such actions you will only strengthen the thought in our consciousness: "She / he is the only one."
• And then all your selfish actions in order to cause jealousy or from revenge is a great response to a former partner.
• Release all this and enjoy a fully new partner, share your passion with each other.
• Keep the perception "Now your former person is a random passerby" and there is no point in thinking about it.

Remember these principles in order to close your questions on how to forget the person you love and see every day.

17. Do not do the following typical errors that do not solve problems

What does not solve problems after the gap:

1. From alcohol, all sorts of substances, random relationships of meaning and use zero.
2. Attempts to go on a journey or move - these are all attempts to escape from the problem and pretend that it is supposedly not. It's like a soldier shot a leg, and he went to the march-throw to run a kilometer and pretends to be all super.
3. Remember the negative qualities in the former person and about negative in the past - this is another absurd advice! Following him, you still think about him! You will spend a lot of energy for these thoughts, the negative takes a lot of energy.
4. Think of some other personality is the most useless advice. This is equivalent to the Council not to think about a pink elephant that pops up in the head. Not thinking is also an action that is also energy-proof.

Better re-read all our advice and live in harmony. They say everything you need to realize and what to do to forget the person who you love unrequited, once and for all.

Our whole life consists of human relations: family, workers, public. But the deepest and most important things for us are relationships with your favorite people. Very often between them are discord, misunderstandings, and different changes in relations. But what to do when you feel that the relationship has exhausted yourself and come to an end? You no longer value this person as before, mutual understanding disappeared between you, and you are without a end to quarrel? How to be able correctly and painless for you both let go of each other?

Do I need to let go of each other?

Of course, this is not easy to do it, there is always some kind of devastation and disappointment after breaking the relationship. But if you look at this situation on the other hand, you will see experience, wisdom, the knowledge that you have acquired thanks to this relationship. This is the end of only a certain stage in your life, but not love. When you understand this and you can accept, except the feeling of gratitude to this person, you will no longer have anything else.

Absolutely, all the people who come to your life is not an accident, everyone has their own goal, why they appeared in your life. They bring with them the lessons you need for you, which you must learn. It develops in you missing quality to you, so you grow as a person, I'm talking about evolutionary growth.

You were expensive to each other people, experienced strong feelings, conducted unforgettable moments of life together. Of course, in your memory all this will remain, but already as the last day. And you will be sorry to leave or let go of a person from your life. But life never stands in place, it constantly moves, changes, bringing change and changes. Also your relationship, they will constantly change, enriched with new feelings and experience. Do not be afraid to go further and let new people in your life again.

Always nothing can last. You gave each other everything you could, you tried to save the relationship. But if you have exhausted each other, they are tired of going further together or just stopped love, then it is better to let go of a person. Most likely, you approached the limit of your relationship, then it cannot continue. You will feel when, relationships will become an unbearable burden. Then let go of a person, do not need to keep it near himself. By this you will only hurt him, as it will see your indifference.

How to let go of a loved one?

Thank this person, since he unconsciously taught you something, gave you invaluable experience, his time, his feelings. And continue to live on, you do not need to cling to the fact that I am already gone, you will be able to let go. You have changed thanks to these relationships, and you will probably wait for new acquaintances and meetings.

If you still did not dare to such a step, and trying to glue the collapful relationship, that you slowly kill each other. In addition to deep pain and disappointment in relationships, they will not bring anything else. Your relationship will lose value and trepacy, they will turn into a dull joint brand. Every day you and your partner will grow hostility, annoyance and complaints to each other. A series of quarrels will follow, clarifying relationships, the search for those perpetrators and everything in such a spirit. Believe the farther you stretch such relationships, the greater the likelihood that you will break up with enemies, full of hatred to each other. This morally depletes, takes so much your energy that after parting, you remain lifeless and broken.

Relationships should bring you joy and happiness. You must litele love, your eyes should burn, and happiness. When this is no longer, is it worth continuing? Think about it, do you bring the relationship to me happiness, ease, joy?

Nevertheless, you hardly do not want to let me go. Why?

To stop relationships, you need courage. Some of you should be the first to realize and talk about it. But not every person is able to speak openly even with his partner. Then the game in silence begins, hidden insults, endless quarrels on trifles. And this hell begins, when to be together is not simply impossible, but becomes real torture.

Sooner or later your relationship will still come to an end, but what way and what will it cost you? Most likely, after parting, you will remain with the luggage of claims to each other and unspoken offensive. Everything will suffer from such relationships. You need a lot of time and effort to come to yourself after such a parting.

Do not resist if you see how your relationship swims smoothly by the end. So it should be so it should happen. When this man leaves your life, just let him leave, do not hold on it.

The best parting finals, it is gratitude to this person for everything he did for you for the presented moments of happiness and joy. Try to do it from the heart, sincerely. In this way, you will soften the pain from the parting and the feeling of disappointment and the resentment will leave.

Of course, at first, it will be difficult for you to go further without this person. But time treats any wounds. You will have a period when you can evaluate the past relationships, assimilate the lessons from them. And then you are aware that anyone leaving, frees a place to arrive a new person. So step by step, you are approaching who is treated with fate in life.

Look at any ending as a great start of something new, joyful and happy!

What's in the article:

After parting, it is usually followed by a difficult period, when all thoughts and meditation are still returning to the former - a person with whom has recently connected a lot ... How to let go of a person from thoughts?

How to stop thinking about a former man?

I guess that everyone who experienced parting, is familiar with such a feeling - as if the person did not part with you forever, but ... well, a little from you was departed. I went on vacation, for example. And maybe even about it will return (what you are secretly hoping ...). And therefore thoughts are stubbornly returned to him - this would be worth saying, this is how to talk about it, that's how it was necessary to talk about it ... Although the mind suggests that it all no longer makes n't the slightest meaning, but after all the thoughts do not You will order ... how to deal with it, and how to start living without regard to a person who has long been going through his life for a long time?

Psychologists advise - to let go of a person from thoughts, stay alone with me. Communicate with people - different, close and not very, support old friendship and start new ...

The only thing that costs himself to protect is a nostalgic scatter in the vest of girlfriends on the topic "Aaa, why did he throw me, I love, I can't live without him, mommy? ..". The fact is that such "evenings of memories" do not bring absolutely no relief, but on the contrary, exacerbate the situation - you are immersed in the puchin of experiences, smashing the past ... and in fact - it is best to try to forget the person, without too much and late analysis that It didn't go wrong whether it was possible to fix something.

The fact is that the memories of the past relationship is not a douse that needs to be found and opened. Rather, they can be compared with the healing wound, which has already begun to be covered with a crust, and it is not necessary to touch it once again. Therefore, the advice from the site of the kitchen.ru is: so that "healing" happened faster, you are interested in anything else - but not thoughts about the former guy!

Very great if you are heading new relationships. Or at least new acquaintances. Pass on dates, having fun - without thinking about what is urgently looking for a man for a serious relationship (if you still don't really want to start a new serious novel). And by the way, not every psychologist will give you such advice: take away sex with any other person, except for your former guy. Of course, the problem is somewhat incorrectly in such an option, but this advice is usually great in real life - it does not necessarily have attachment to a new sexual partner, but let go and forget the past becomes much easier.

What to do to survive parting quickly?

There are three more very effective "outstands", if you find it difficult to stop thinking about the former man and let go, namely:

• Work or studies;
• Travels;
• Creation.

Full-time, brain load will be able to distract brain, and if you also reach any career and financial success, you will have self-esteem - and you will begin to love yourself more and less looped at the completed relationship! There are often cases when a woman, swaying with her husband or a guy, began to be actively implemented in a career - and soon already clearly understood that a former man is far from being so good, and she is worthy of a much better person next to her!

Traveling, change of habitat and new impressions - it is also fine: psychologists advise to let go of the human thoughts with whom you broke up to go to some new place. Just do not return to those places that are associated with your former guy or husband - for example, to that resort, where you spent your vacation together.

And if you are a creative person, it is possible that the experience of difficult emotions for you through the kind of art you are engaged in. Many writers, poets, musicians, etc. They created their best works just during the periods after painful gaps with a loved one - emotions remained in creativity, but went out of the head ... Even if you are not interested in anything, perhaps, it's time to try and make a new hobby!

From unambiguously useful classes that help to cope with the emotions painful for you and "release" the person with whom you broke up, you can note the sport and dances. Not only has this positively affect the figure and self-esteem - physical fatigue after classes displaces sad thoughts from the head. Yes, perhaps you are too lazy, there is no mood, or you consider such kinds of activity with something "not yours" - but sometimes it is worth even overpowering yourself, and still choose at least relatively impressioning type of physical activity.

Oddly enough, it is usually easier to carry out the separation of those women who have children. This is explained - they are psychologically easier to let go of a former man, because in most cases a child is a priority attachment for them. In addition, care for the child takes time, requires both physical, and emotional forces - and this is just what is needed if the head is clogged with unnecessary sadness and imperfect reflections!

Dubious advice about how to let go of a person from thoughts

Both psychologists and not psychologists sometimes give all kinds of recommendations, how to get rid of thoughts about the former beloved man: and among these tips you can find a wide variety of, sometimes very strange, rituals and events. But let's talk about the most common of them.

For example, the Council is indicative to destroy things associated with a former guy or husband: some kind of objects associated with him in the house, forgotten by their clothes, joint photos, etc. Sometimes it really wants it - for example, to somehow hang out a strong offense on the former. But if the guy left, and you have a lot of warm feelings left for him, then such barbaric destruction is still expensive to your heart things will, on the contrary, are too painful, and will be remembered as an extra sad moment. So if you still can't tell you that they completely blunt the former man - then you just fold these items and hide it so that they come across you on your eyes, and decide their further fate later when you can watch them without any special emotions.

And they also say that to forget and release it easier, if you write any text on paper, negatively characterizes the former guy or husband - for example, bad features of his character, or cases, because of which you are in disadvantage, etc. . But this is not an effective practice at all - because you just discern the soul with memories, and even if you remember something negative - then continue to take your head with thoughts about this person ...

And in fact, to let go of the past - you need to do our own, in all its aspects!

A person is constantly experiencing some situations. If questions about how to survive a pleasant situation does not arise, then difficulties sometimes occur in the release of negative events. Sometimes a person is difficult to forget about something, or bother ..

To let go, you need to keep it! If you do not keep your bag in your hands, then it falls, remains on the place where you left it. If you do not hold something, then it is not near. This is if you argue sober and pragmatic. Just do not hold on to the situation that you can't let go to leave it in the past.

However, to say much easier than done. And here you need to deal with how to let go, but with what your situation is holding you. So, what keeps you in the situation you want to forget? It can be:

1. Resenting, fears, feelings of guilt, anger, shame and other emotions.
2. Important people who continue to stay for you meaningful and authoritative, even after chapping.
3. Slept desires and expectations that you lay on the situation under consideration.

Something from this can keep you in the past that you do not let go. Thus, to let go, you should simply say goodbye to meaningful people or find a different way to communicate with them, let go of the emotions that you experience to the situation to accept the unfulfilled hopes and desires.

There is a parable about how two monks met a girl who could not pass through the stream. One monk took her on his hands and moved to the other coast. When everything happened and both monks went further, the second monk said to the first: "How did you make yourself touched upon the girl?" What the first monk answered: "It all happened, everything remained in the past. Why do you still carry this girl in your head? "

While the person himself does not want to stop remembering the past, his thoughts will be chaotic and think about what may be unpleasant.

How to let go of the situation?

If a person is worried about how to let go of the situation, most likely, he is trying to forget that he is unpleasant. A person will hardly try to forget about something good. Moreover, the troubles happen to everyone, and each person there will have a certain situation that he would have not remembered with pleasure.

As mentioned above, the situation that may have happened last week, last month or year, even a few years ago, will hold a person, because there is something important for him in it: led feelings or pride, significant people with Which he did not want to part, unfulfilled desires or the opportunities he could take advantage to achieve his happy life. In other words, this situation is something significant for a person, and he cannot let her go, despite the fact that she could happen to him many years ago.

Some do not believe that you can forget something. Psychologists say that situations do not remain in the past, but constantly worry people, because they do not decide. The situation needs to be solved, and here there are several ways:

1. Complete with what happened. Some events cannot be changed, turn back, repeat. You need to just accept them and no longer worry because they arose.
2. Change your attitude to the situation. This is the principle of positive thinking. If you can't change something, then try to see something good in a situation for yourself. For example, in a divorce with your loved one, see getting invaluable experience, as it can happen for which reasons and how to avoid it next time. For example, if you lose money, you can see the ability to change your behavior so that it never happens again. The troubles happen to everyone, but to not repeat them, follow a certain lesson for themselves, which is a positive point.
3. Solve the situation. Not all situations are insoluble. To let them go, you just need to solve the questions that remain. For example, to solve the problem of a quarrel with children, you need to reconcile with them. Or to solve the problem of dismissal, you need to get a new job.

There are a lot of situations. Only a psychologist, to whom a person comes specifically with his problem, with which he will not be able to cope. And in general, many situations are released by the considered methods.

If you return to the reasons, because of which a person cannot let go of the situation, then the following psychologist tips can be given here:

• If you keep emotions raised by an unpleasant situation, then you should get rid of them. You need to distract yourself with something more interesting and significant than the situation you can't let go. It may be new love, new work or travel. Psychologists advise in this way to get rid of emotions: to saturate every day with new events that will call you new emotions and exhibit the previous ones. In other words, continue to live fully, so that new impressions and emotions outpace previous experiences.

Also, emotions will save the readiness of a person to forgive former friends or themselves in the fact that someone offended someone. Often, it is precious to hold a man in what happened to him many years ago. Resently cause anger, aggression or, on the contrary, the feeling of guilt and shame. Man accuses either others or himself. It does not allow him to let go of the past. Therefore, we learn to forgive to let go.

• If you are kept significant people with whom you do not want to part, then you need to recover with them and find a different way to keep a relationship with them, or come to compete with what you never see and communicate with them. Either make up, or accept the third option.
• If you keep dreams and expectations that you wanted to implement in a specific situation, then you can either come up with failure here, or disassemble committed mistakes and try to try success again, but already on another algorithm of action. The person must remember: if they repeat the same actions again, which have already been committed and led to a negative result, the failure will be reached again. If you want to change something in a situation, then you should first understand your own errors, after which it is not repeated, without changing the algorithm of actions that should lead to success. Otherwise, come accepted with what happened, and do not suffer because of your choice.

A person often keeps the situations that have long happened to him. Why does he need it? Psychologists argue that a person always keeps behind those situations that matter for him. And if there is a desire to let them go, then you can use the following algorithm:

1. First distract from the situation. While she worries you, infuriates, makes you suffer and experience other emotions, you can't do anything reasonable. So that emotions have not pushed you to commit unpleasant actions, better give yourself time to cool. To be distracted by the solution of other tasks and problems that are always available in an adult. Decide other problems that are also waiting for your attention.
2. Then, when you emotionally calm down, you can turn your attention to the situation that does not let you go. It should be understood that such a special in this situation, which is why it causes a stormy emotion and does not let go. Sometimes people remember what they did on emotions, and not about what the problem at first arose, which caused these emotions. First, people indignant or excuses something, after which they begin to make stupidity. And to let go of the situation, you need to realize what problem arose in it, and not remember who and what did and speak.
3. It does not hurt yourself to put on the places of those people in which you are offended. It often seems that we are justified offended, they say, other people behaved incorrectly. And if you put yourself on their places, it may find out that a person would lead himself exactly as they. If you put yourself in place of your "enemy" and understand what they would have done in the same way as he did, then it would be easier for you to forgive him and even understand his motives.
4. Forgive your offenders. Do this at least for the sake of yourself. You forgive the offenders to let go of the situation and not remember the bad. You are doing this for your own calmness, and not to launch their misses.

Allow other people to be as they are. They their words and actions were offended or insulted. But you do not pay attention to it. You already do not communicate with them, and they let them pay for the mistakes perfect. You do not keep anyone for your part.

How to let go of a situation and a person from thoughts and hearts?

Sometimes the complexity of the release of the situation is that the person is forced to part with someone forever. It is difficult to do if some feelings are preserved in relation to another person. However, if it became necessary to let go of a partner from thoughts and hearts, then all efforts should be made.

• Forgive man for gone from you. If it was not your initiative, then forgiveness will be the most correct way to let go of a person. Do not be offended and not angry. Let a person himself decide what to do, and carry responsibility for this.
• Snove. If you are outraged, then let yourself be. Do not accumulate emotions. Give yourself a couple of days to be brought to another person, and then lay down with his departure.
• See a person in real light. Often, people idealize each other, and then they can not let go, because no one wants to part with the ideal partners. However, ideals do not exist. Just people do not see the shortcomings of those partners who cannot forget. Get involved in seeing your departed partner in real light, such as it is, with all its advantages and disadvantages, achieved actions and achieved goals, and not those promises that he created the illusion of his excellent image.
• Work on your future. First, be sure that you can live happily without another person. Secondly, start dreaming about the future, where there is no other person there and where you are happy. Thirdly, start realizing your goals. Want to live happily, then start acting with full confidence that you will reach your own.
• Stop remembering pleasant minutes. It should be understood that pleasant moments you had with all the people with whom you had at least some relationship. The one who you can not forget is not the only person who was able to make you happy. Better not remember that it's good that he did for you to not be idealize it, or if you remember, then remember the events that have happened with other people to understand what you were made by happy many people, and not the only one.

Learn to relax, calmly treat your loneliness and remove all items that remind you of a former partner. You do not idealize anyone, and therefore calmly let him go to the past.

How to let go of the situation in relationships in the end?

If you can not let go of the situation in the relationship, then use the following tips:

1. Accept the fact that happened if nothing can be changed.
2. Mix if the relationship can still be resumed. Before doing this, realize your mistakes that you have been committed, and do not repeat them more or correct the problem.
3. Say goodbye to people if the relationship with them is better to break than to save. Be initiated unpleasant situation for yourself, understanding all the benefits of this decision personally for yourself.

Events are given to a person in order for him to know himself and made certain lessons.