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Who to choose from 2 men. The best male qualities. We appreciate the positive qualities of each ...

Since such a question arose, we can safely say: "Find a third", "You will understand in time", "You will not be happy with any", "The one who runs slower." In fact, the question is serious. If you think that either of them is good for husbands, and you both care, you need to "turn on the math."

Take a blank sheet of paper and divide it into four pieces. Let the left column on top be all the pluses of Guy # 1, at the bottom - respectively, his minuses. The second column is for Guy # 2. Write down all the pros and cons of both guys. You will have to work on this work at least one hour. It's good if the list continues to grow throughout the day. At first, it will quickly fill up, all the pros and cons will be found, then yours will dry up, it will seem that you have already written everything down. No! Do not rush things. It is now that the memory will begin to take out that important thing that you know, but for some reason did not pay attention to.

It's important to reflect how much you like each guy. This one is 6 points, the other, for example, 9, what kind of education, career planning, desire to have children, attitude to cheating, ability to work at home, emotional background, bad habits, from which family, which of them promises more , and who does more, who cares better, who really cares about you, who loves you more, who lies to you the least, who gave the most gifts, albeit inexpensive ones, who remembers yours, the day of their acquaintance, and so on. You can add your items.

Such work will help to analyze each person individually. Pay particular attention to the relationship between you. After all, his career and education are nothing compared to love and care for you. Why money if you live with an insensitive blockhead?

When the list is complete, we count all the pros and subtract the cons. Or add up the points. The arithmetic is simple. The main thing is objective assessment.

If this is not enough, it would be good for the analysis of the guys to put them in a situation in which they can hit you, that is, to make it so that it is not difficult to hit. See which one is a real man. A man will not beat a woman. Create provocative situations, show yourself from the worst, maybe even invented side, find out who is ready to endure to the end just to be with you. Perhaps one will go out of the race, also putting you in the column with the pros and cons. Yes, that is also possible.

What situations can you think of? In the company, you can pretend to be a drunk woman, standing poorly on her feet and carrying such "nonsense" that the guy was ashamed. You will see with almost sober eyes how he will "take care" of you. Or introduce him to your new one. Let it not be a "friend", but an "agent" with a task. See how he will deal with her. The "agent" can tell you that he flirted with her, winked or did not take his eyes off, asked for the phone. Yes! All means are good to pick a true lifelong contender.

Doesn't it work? And the drunk drags on himself, and on the "agent" zero attention? Try to tell him a "terrible secret" about yourself (but not in a small town!). Are you sick of something? Do you have a terrible contagious disease? Children can be born with? This will be the last straw.

The tests are over, here he is, a reliable and loyal guy, a real friend. Yes, I almost forgot, since you choose one out of two, it means that you yourself do not really love anyone, and this is a minus, but the fact that they love you will be a plus.

"How to choose between the two?" I get these questions very often.

Men write, choosing between a wife and a mistress (here I am always on the side of the wives). Women who choose between husbands and lovers write (here I am always on the side of husbands).

Guys who choose between two girls write. Girls who choose between two guys write. In general, a lot, a lot of people write with the same problem.

Therefore, I decided to make a special note on this topic in order to outline the most working, in my experience, solution to the problem of choosing between two more or less potential partners.

Let's start with the bad news - it's impossible to make that choice. You can't choose who you love more or less. It is impossible not because I, Pavel Zygmantovich, is the most categorical psychologist in the world, as I say. It is impossible - because there is no such possibility.

First of all, the very word “choice” is not appropriate here. Any dictionary will give you several different definitions (the Small Academic Dictionary, for example, gave me six), and any of these definitions implies some kind of consciousness-awareness. For example, "sort by some criterion." For sorting, you need to keep in mind a list of features, which, again, requires a certain conscious effort.

But the point, of course, is not only in linguistics.

Our brains are simply not equipped to make choices about love (so to speak). The fact is that love (and especially falling in love) is accompanied by chemicals that reduce criticality.

A loving person (and especially a person in love) is simply not capable of sober reasoning about the person he loves (and especially in love). This is true for romantic love, parental love, child love and all other loves, including love for the Motherland (although here - to the least degree).

In addition, the relationship itself is accompanied by hefty doses of dopamine. This is a rich thing, but in this case we are interested in the fact that dopamine is involved in the learning system. He participates, fairly coarsening, so - it is developed during a positive experience and causes pleasure.

Relationships, as you know, especially in the initial stages, are almost always a positive experience. They are almost always pleasurable. Dopamine is almost always released.

In the future, a person seeks to repeat that positive experience, that is (in our case) again meets with the person who caused and created this positive experience.

You can even call it addiction - these are close states.

Finally, man developed as a monogamous species. Yes, yes, no matter how strange and surprising it may be, but we are a monogamous species, our whole organism is imprisoned under monogamy. Here is a funny and very striking fact to support it.

If a man has not seen his woman for about a month and has sexual intercourse with her, his sperm production is three times higher than usual. Moreover, if the same month the man and his wife did not have sex, but he saw her every day for several hours, then such a sharp increase in sperm output does not occur. If our species were polygamous, then there would be no such leaps, because in a polygamous society (such as chimpanzees) they are unnecessary.

Let's summarize. Considering all of the above, it turns out that, for example, a girl trying to choose between two guys is solving an obviously impossible task. Nothing in a person is adapted to the solution of such a task. Trying to make a choice in this case is like trying to take off with the power of thought. Which, alas, no one has succeeded yet.

And how to be here?

First, of course, it is better to prevent. That is, do not bring yourself to the point where you have to choose. Such a state does not arise overnight, and the aforementioned dopamine, with its fixation of positive experience, does not immediately gain “critical mass”.

The general principle of prevention is simple - don't start a new relationship while the old relationship is alive. Ending old relationships is a very big topic. It cannot be crammed into this note even briefly, so I refer those interested to a special audio training. The link will be below.

Secondly, if you still got yourself into a mess and found yourself in front of a difficult choice of two people, then the only way to somehow make this choice is ... to refuse the choice.

And not only from the choice, but in general from contacts with these two people. Of course, this is not always possible to do, but the real way out here is to stop contacts.

Moreover, in general, all contacts, up to viewing photos and statuses in social networks. The ideal option is to go to the monastery for a month and not communicate with anyone.

There is a chance (and not small) that the very problem of choice will disappear for this. Simply put, a person will take someone and “fall out of love”. I will not give a 100% guarantee, but of the independent ways known to me to solve the issue of choosing between the two, such a "month of silence" is the most effective.

Use whoever is relevant!

I have everything, thank you for your attention.

A few more notes on a similar topic:
The Promised End-of-Relationship Audio Training -
Find out what -
Read What To Do If -

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How to choose between the two ..?: 128 comments

  1. Vika

    my situation, which took six months to solve. the decision is changed three times a day and it is not at all possible to understand yourself. I wanted to pause my life and run away to some remote village. but in ordinary life this is unrealistic.
    in the end, everything turned out by contradiction. thoughts were in order. everything was settled. but at what cost ..

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post author

      The monastery is one of the best solutions.

    2. Anonymous

      Good evening! I have never rushed about like this from uncertainty, please, tell me at least some version of action, some new angle of perception of the situation! We met with a guy for almost 3 years (he was the first in terms of sexual, yes in all plans ...) in the process they scandalized a lot and diverged (once every 2 months, the rest times for a day / two). As a result, they "finally" parted. I went to a psychologist because it so happened that he undermined my self-esteem and desire to live, instilled fear of the future, and so on. A couple of months passed, I managed to "come to life", I met another, we quickly began to develop a relationship and he seemed to have absorbed all the qualities that I lacked in the former. I was happy, but the longing for my ex was periodically prolonged, but She was less and less. And everything seems to be cool, but then the former appears. Says he realized everything. Calls to get married. Achieves. At first I rejected it harshly, but he managed to break the wall with a push. I'm starting to believe a little. She asked for a break from the second, explained that she had not yet moved away from her previous serious relationship, I did not want to project the consequences of the breakup on him. Now I rush. The second guy is waiting. I am wildly ashamed. The ex solves all my problems and brainwashes a little. I want to make a choice and be happy. Should you give your ex a chance? Is there a chance that he changed at the age of 30? Is there a chance the second guy will be waiting? And how competently to part for a while with the second, in order to give time to the former, so that later, if he is also alone, he would not mind trying with me again. So that he doesn't hate me and consider me a terrible person. But that's if I choose the former.

    3. Maria

      By contradiction is it like in this case?

  2. Oksana

    Thank you Pavel! A wonderful note. Everything is very clearly laid out on the shelves 🙂
    I remembered the joke in the topic. If you are choosing between two girls, choose the second one. If you loved the first, the second would not appear 🙂
    I wish you success!

  3. shelkoviza

    Thanks to

  4. Anna

    Pavel, thanks for the advice, it is very important for me. I want to clarify one point - how to technically convey to men the desire to pause? how to explain? especially when there are serious intentions and feelings? It will not be possible to simply disappear for a while without an explanation.

  5. Mariya

    Pavel, but it seems to me that the measure “remove from sight for a month” is a little harsh. I did that once. I barely survived this month, because I realized that I was drawn to one of them strongly. And after a month of "non-communication" I wanted to hug me tightly and discuss everything that happened during this time that was interesting. Really rarely remembered the other of these two men. BUT!! They both got along perfectly well without me at that time, and they probably forgot to even think. Now here's one. Well, it was stupid to leave for a month.

  6. Maria

    Pavel, because the partner immediately decides that he is not needed (well, since he was abandoned for a whole month).

  7. Anna

    Pavel, yesterday I tried to use the advice. It's just very difficult to leave and be lost in the modern world, I had to report that I was leaving and I need a pause in communication, a month of silence to think to understand what I want, and so on .. True, with one I did it 2 weeks ago (I have a lot of feelings for him less, but he is good and objectively, as it were, somewhat better, younger and more energetic than the second), I thought that I would fence off one first, he immediately asked to call me at least sometimes, and began to call, which began to annoy me, at the third call I still asked me to leave for a month ... until he called ...

    And yesterday morning she said the same thing to the second, hoping to sort out myself during this time ... He agreed: if it is better for you, so be it ... So by the time after lunch I had already begun to think so and miss him ... that I could not imagine how I was I can stand it for a month .. And he apparently felt it and called, said that he, as a man, is responsible for me and it is important for him to at least know if everything is good with me ... he asked me to at least inform how I got there and so on ... as a result, we are less likely, but we continue to communicate ...
    Moreover, I would like to note that the first one is of the same age, and with him rather partner relations, we are on equal terms, and with the second, he is 8 years older and there is more patronage, protection, care ... so I think which is better? Pavel, is there any information about partnership (when a man proposes, but waits when I decide, we are on an equal footing, then he, then I decide together) and patronage in a relationship (when a man is always more confident and stronger, and I’m not talking about despotism and domination, namely when HE is a calm kind leader)?

  8. OlgaY

    Paul,
    I'd like to ask a few questions, please.
    1) You write that a person is not adapted to such a choice (“for solving such a problem”). But why, then, do such situations arise quite often? Shouldn't evolution have put “fences” on such “problems”? Or is this one of the selection methods? (Like: “but you don’t know how to choose and haven’t decided with whom you will breed, and therefore you will not breed, loser”). Sorry, but judging by the text, it seemed that it would not be difficult to set a trap for "dopamines for more than one individual of the opposite sex at the same time or a close one."
    Maybe such situations are still needed for some reason? But why then?
    2) And, excuse me, the question "from the teapot". What are the signs that the relationship is over, will no longer return and you can build a new relationship?
    3) Based on existing theories, practices, etc. etc., after that same "month of the monastery" (or maybe someone will need more, and even a year, etc.), is it worth starting anew a relationship with one of those once chosen partners?

    p / s. You write wonderful, useful, wise, albeit sometimes controversial texts, thank you.

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post author

      1) You write that a person is not adapted to such a choice (“for solving such a problem”). But why, then, do such situations arise quite often? Shouldn't evolution have put “fences” on such “problems”? Or is this one of the selection methods? (Like: “but you don’t know how to choose and haven’t decided with whom you will breed, and therefore you will not breed, loser”). Sorry, but judging by the text, it seemed that it would not be difficult to set a trap for "dopamines for more than one individual of the opposite sex at the same time or a close one."
      _Strictly speaking, such a trap is worth it. It is called phenylethylamine and is included in the period of acute love. Then it is really impossible to fall in love with anyone else. However, the production of this substance ends quickly enough, because it is too expensive for the body. Evolutionarily, it is simply not profitable to put neurohormonal protection against betrayal and attraction to another partner - the period of pregnancy and nursing is too long for the body to withstand such a distance. So we got a compromise. On the one hand, our body is poorly adapted for choosing between two partners (a kind of passive defense), on the other hand, we do not have an active defense against betrayal (one of the vole species has such protection, and there males attack other females up to murder). Replied?

      2) And, excuse me, the question "from the teapot". What are the signs that the relationship is over, will no longer return and you can build a new relationship?
      _Absolute calmness in relation to a person - that he is, that he is not. We came across a photo on Vkontakte - nothing even twitched. Accidentally collided on the street, nothing fluttered. If so, then the relationship is over.

      3) Based on existing theories, practices, etc. etc., after that same "month of the monastery" (or maybe someone will need more, and even a year, etc.), is it worth starting anew a relationship with one of those once chosen partners?
      _I'm not sure if you can do it. During the "month of the monastery" the relationship will not go away, but feelings for one will "fade away", and for the other "will intensify." The problem of choice will be solved by itself, and the relationship will just need to be continued. You don't have to start over.

      Thank you too - it's nice to meet a person asking such interesting questions. Write more, Olga! 🙂

      1. Evgeniya Prokopyeva

        “_Absolute peace of mind in relation to a person - that he is, that he is not there. We came across a photo on Vkontakte - nothing even twitched. Accidentally collided on the street, nothing fluttered. If so, then the relationship is over. "

        Pavel, this is a great option. I vaguely remember how I met a young man, whom I was so keen on at the age of 25. I met - already in marriage, in the best years. And yes, nothing or almost nothing in me shook. Unless there was awkwardness, and then - now I would not feel awkwardness (now - this is becoming finally an adult), and I could chat, and - look at a person with open eyes, that is, see the good that is in him, and not only that bad that clearly manifested itself at a certain moment.
        But - but! It seems to work when people don't see each other. And when they see each other - a child! - how can one finally and irrevocably be distracted?
        If someone told me at one time that I would not only feel not the kindest feelings for my husband, but also regret that we have a common child, then I would only twist my finger at my temple. But now, when my husband really offended me (remember, perhaps, my story), or, if I may say so, caused damage, it is unbearable to see him. Either you have to make a very big effort on yourself, or a quarrel - and then recover for a day or two. Here's how, in this situation, when there is no way to see each other, to go to "absolute peace of mind in relation to a person - that he is, that he is not."
        I’m already chasing a thought, maybe if he just doesn’t come to us until he’s two years old, then we won’t do much harm? But I'm afraid that a) we will harm the child, b) in a year or two, the husband, who in the meantime will become a father to another child, will no longer really want to participate in this life ...
        What do you think?

  9. Antonina

    Pavel, please tell me. Here my husband and I paused. For me, she was simply unbearable. I realized that I had never loved anyone like that. He showed up 3 weeks later, looked for an excuse to come, hung me up in the hospital for 3 days. In his eyes, I still see love for me. But he got scared of this and disappeared again. Disappeared to try again to kill feelings for me. On Monday we meet to make the final dot on and on. I try to understand him, I try to hear him, but he avoids direct questions. After all, we used to understand each other from half a glance, but now we speak completely different languages. How can I explain this to him so that he does not kill feelings in his heart and believe in my feelings?

  10. Vlad

    At one time I really liked the idea expressed in the film "This means war". Where a Woman says to a girl with a problem of choice - “choose not the one who is better, but with whom you yourself become better”. And I personally noticed in life that with one woman you behave according to one scenario, and with another - according to another. It's probably better to choose someone or someone with whom you will get better.
    ==
    And off topic, dear Pavel, I would like to know your opinion about the now rather famous showman Pavel Rakov, who has already brought help to women into the rank of a television show. Have you watched his programs and what can you say about them?

  11. Kateringo

    And can you explain the example-argument with monkeys, which was cited as proof of the natural monogamy of men?

    I absolutely did not understand him. But she is extremely interested in finding out!)

    Are there any similar examples - arguments in favor of the natural monogamy of women?

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post author

      Yes, and I don't know what to explain here - it seems to be written in plain text. In men, the release of sperm is three times more, if he has not seen his wife for a long time. Monkeys don't have that. What exactly is not clear? 🙂

  12. Masha

    Pavel, can you formulate some criterion by which during the period of the “monastery” it will be possible to understand that this is “your” person or “not yours”? After all, simply "strengthening" feelings may mean the need to fill the void in your soul, and not that it is "mine"

  13. Masha

    Your words, yes to God in the ears, as they say. I am simply afraid that this attraction may turn out to be one-sided. I would not get bogged down in the illusion that it is "mine" just because I love.

  14. Vladimir Yazykov

    Pasha, I very much agree about the choice with such a love. In addition, I will add that a cool head for a rational choice is good 🙂 However, you said that too 🙂

  15. Anna

    Pavel, hello!
    And if I don't communicate with one in any way for about six months, we live in different countries, I even blocked everything on the Internet, but I see another almost every day and build relationships, but my thoughts constantly return to the first? I do not care how he lives, although I am in a relationship with another person and am happy that I have such a wonderful boyfriend. Probably early in the second relationship?

  16. Lena

    a parapsychologist will help you to make the right decision and make a choice.Once working with your subconscious, you will always make quick and correct decisions

  17. Rina

    Thank you, Pavel, I accidentally stumbled upon your article - you wrote everything correctly. We parted with the ex (dated for 2.5 years), I met a new guy, with whom I had already started to build a relationship, and the ex came back and wants me. Gives gifts (very expensive and not so), constant signs of attention, surrounded by care. I know that he loves me. The new guy does not feel such feelings, but not enough time has passed for the appearance of love (a month). Now I am caught between two fires - I am drawn to a new guy (especially sexually), and more comfortable with my ex. The ex really loves me (I can feel it every day). I can't go anywhere - I'm tied to work. I don’t know how to choose the best option for myself. I decide not with my heart, but with my mind

  18. Maksim

    Pavel, tell me what can be done in my situation. My girlfriend cannot choose between me and another guy. We met with her for 2.5 years, I cheated on her with my ex, she found out everything, I told everything and repented and promised that I would never life of such garbage will no longer be, with the former immediately stopped all relations. The girl told her to think about whether she could accept me or not ... and then she also had another boyfriend, but he is just a friend, but as I learned from her, she wants to start building a relationship with him, but she doesn't want to lose me either. this situation of hers has been suspended in thought for 5 months already. She says a mess in her head and wants to see that, but they have nothing and rarely see me, but we still have everything and sex. Can I do something in this situation? or just wait when she has already decided? and how long to wait is not yet known ... I can't tell her go to the monastery, think about it, a month)) And I also promised her that I would wait for her decision as long as necessary, and I always keep my word, which it was not. Is my situation a stalemate?

  19. Lilith

    good evening, I have such a problem ... as if I feel in hell when I close my eyes and understand that my whole life depends on my choice, I'm afraid to make a mistake and choose the wrong guy because I myself am from a very strict family and my parents turn away from me, they they already say that you love him, but he is not a ballet for you as a good husband .. I love very much V (a guy's name, let's say) passion is hot between us, I went to him myself because I was crazy just to see ... you can do everything with him .... allows me to do everything together and enjoy life ... and the second is a serious kind, how to say more broken ... I'm afraid that if I choose a loved one, as my mother says, she will play a little and bring you back himself. and the second is reliable, but with him, how can I tell you ... I will be Fake ... yes, everything will be perfect, but passions and emotions will not be enough as with that (((tell me what to do, both offer to get married in the fall (((

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post author

      Good evening, Lilith.

      It is impossible to guess in advance. But just know - passion passes and passes quickly.

  20. Oksana

    Pavel, hello! And this technique works in the case when the husband chooses between his wife and his mistress. My husband has been in a relationship with a married woman for almost 3 years, says that he loves her, but I don't, but no matter how I drive him, he does not leave, and she is waiting for him. The husband is leaving on a business trip for a month, and decided to take your advice. But, in this case, it is possible or not to say that the mistress has more chances, since the husband thinks that he loves her (especially since the relationship is not yet three years old, and love, as you know, lives on for 3 years. Thank you.

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post author

      Good afternoon, Oksana!

      And this technique works in the case when the husband chooses between his wife and his mistress.
      _Yes, but much worse, alas.

  21. Oksana

    And if I tell him, and it helps him.

  22. Anonymously

    Good afternoon, I would like to ask .. I am meeting with a young man (we parted several times and converged again), now we live together, 3 years ago there was a great love, but we matured and all the euphoria flew away somewhere, now the thought of the past person is not give rest. sometimes I think that if there was a chance to start all over again.
    And indeed there is such a possibility, but then I got lost, how to be, where, what is happening in general - I cannot understand and understand at the same time I understand that I am only doing worse ...

  23. Alexander

    Good afternoon, Pavel. I will thank you in advance for all the work you have done.
    I hope you can help me with advice.
    A relationship with a girl began, they met twice, after which she went abroad for a month. We kind of approached each other very much, kept in touch while she was gone, corresponded almost 10 times a day, waited for a quick meeting again. When she arrived, the meeting was very warm and joyful. For two weeks we saw each other, everything was just perfect, I saw the sparkle in her eyes, we were already making common plans for the future, it seemed that we were just made for each other. But, after our first intimacy, as the axis showed me, every day the attitude on her part became colder and colder, and after only one week she told me that she was not ready for a relationship, moreover in SMS. She did not comment on the clear reason. What can be, tell me?

  24. Irina

    Pavel, please tell me. My husband works more time in another city, he doesn't invite my son with him. He comes mainly for the weekend. I don't want to live in separation (I honestly tried, I can't, I really miss). When I ask him to decide and either leave me or move in, he says that it is difficult for him to choose between me and work (although I am not asking to quit my job). To say that he is deeply immersed in his projects (and this is true) and does not want to be distracted by us, although he loves his family. He is satisfied with living in two cities, but I am not. Do you think that the separation from me for a month will help him decide, he will not leave his rival work for this time?

  25. Hello! I really need advice. After all, the "monastery" did not help me. Possibilities were such that it lasted not a month, but 2 weeks, but I never came to anything and on my return again communicated with both. The situation lasts 1, 5 years. About a year ago, one of them proposed to me (we met for a long time), but I told him to wait. I thought for a long time because with him I feel safe, when I look at him I have a feeling that he is the most dear person, I feel tenderness. But I can't sleep with him. I feel uncomfortable or am I just waiting for it to end. I even cry sometimes during this. Despite this, I applied with him. After all, he is really dear to me and he is an impeccable person.
    And the second, having found out about this, made me an offer
    I must admit that there is no rejection with him. It's not a crazy passion, but when it happens, everything works as it should. We are always on the same wavelength with him, we are very interested and comfortable with each other. My father likes him better. He is dear to me. But when I look at him, there is no such avalanche of tenderness. And there isn't that sense of security.
    As a result, he expects an answer from me today or will leave the country.
    The other side is also waiting for an answer.

  26. Hello, help please, such a problem.
    I have been dating a young man for almost 5 years. All the trials have gone through, at some point he became disgusting to me, we parted ways, I started a relationship with another, after which he was very worried and constantly followed me, tried to be close, although he rejected Time passed, about two months, it hurt him that I was with someone else and left, he constantly remembered about it, but we started dating again, he calmed down and everything was forgotten. 2 years passed and he left me, according to him it was difficult he studied, passed on driving and worked, I pressed and threw tantrums about the unattended attention, he left me, during a difficult period (I was sick very much and there were course projects I did not sleep and worried, at that moment I understood how hard it was for him then ).
    At this moment of experience, I had a friend, but there was no contact, we lay around together, listened to music and I felt not carnal desires, I felt that we were soul mates. We understood each other that way. My young man returned and we again together, everything seems to be good, I was delighted. But I began to miss my friend (Maxim) because he supported me, he understood me that way, we were on the same wavelength. We are meeting with the young man now, but time passed and I wrote to Maxim, again, I think about him, about how we were just being close, but again if we consider him as a guy he attracts. I just felt incredibly good with him, we just hugged. I don't understand why and what should I do and how to act
    , because once I already left a young man. And I’m afraid of losing Maxim and I’m afraid of losing the young man too. I’m confused.

  27. Maria

    Hello Pavel.
    They started dating their young man 3 years ago, living as students in a hostel. I always felt calm next to me. After a while, he graduated and together we moved to the house that his parents bought him. Ie we have been living together for 2.5 years. During all this time, we did not have any conversations about any future, children, wedding. My attempts to talk about it ended in laughing or even at the beginning of the speech. He never arranged romantic surprises for me, when he tried to ask me to do something together (go to the gym, to dances), he said that he was not interested. For the last six months, I began to notice that I do not feel like a girl in a relationship, I do not feel weak with my man, I do not feel that I am completely happy. I realized that I was ready to devote all my time to a person in order to be with him, to help, even to the detriment of health, but I did not feel that he would do the same. Although he says that he works, he develops for me, for the sake of our future. All this was accumulating in me.
    3 months ago, by the nature of my activity (dance teacher), I crossed paths with a young man. At our first fleeting meeting, I had a vivid feeling that he would play an important role in my life (as it turned out later, he felt the same way). As a result, over time, our paths crossed and I became his teacher.
    We began to communicate very closely, we developed mutual sympathy, a very strong affection. He found in me what he lacked so much in a relationship, and I felt weak, felt the attention and care of a man (very worried about me, always supports, shares my interests and hobbies).
    We didn’t think we would be so tightly bound. But I understand that he will not wait for me while I figure out myself, in my current relationship. And I understand him.
    I decided to part with the young man. I told him again everything that did not suit me (I did this for the last six months of the relationship, trying to change something). There was a very difficult conversation, the outcome of which dragged on for several days, because we still love each other. Then one morning he just put me before a choice - either I leave, or we try to start over, and he will try to change his attitude towards me. I chose the latter .. Now there is no trust on his part, it is very difficult in a relationship. With all this, we still have strong communication with the other guy, we constantly think about each other. And it is maddening. I'm afraid of the unknown.
    After our unpleasant conversation about parting, after a while the young man admitted that he wanted to propose in a couple of months, to introduce him to his parents, whom he did not want to introduce. That he had very big plans for us, to which he aspired. And now he doesn't know what to do next. And all this information received confused me even more.
    Itching feeling inside at the thought of parting, and the same feeling at the thought of staying together. I can't understand myself.

    Will the “monastery” method help in this case?)

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post author

      Good afternoon, Maria!

      Yes, the "monastery" should help. Well, one more thing - don't think that you can't figure out yourself. Everything is perfectly painted, you figured it out remarkably well. Why are you slandering yourself?

  28. Maria

    Hello Pavel!
    I temporarily moved away from two men, did not keep in touch with them, but after a while one of them called himself.
    At the same time, I realized that I miss two men equally, but I think more often about the second.
    How to be in this situation?

    1. Pavel Zygmantovich Post author

      Good afternoon, Maria!

      How to be in this situation?
      _ Better still to live "in a monastery." Soon you will stop missing one man (and continue thinking about the second).

  29. Maria

    Understand. The only pity is that the second is so impatient) And it's confusing. And the fact that there are feelings for him.
    Pavel, thank you very much for your time and answers.

  30. Nata

    Hello Pavel! Thanks for your articles, they help me calm down and feel better.
    Please tell me, if possible, what can I do in my situation? Sorry in advance if it's messy.
    We lived with a man for 8 years, parted on my initiative (before that he was in love with me and we were friends for a long time, about 6 years). I parted mainly because of my thoughts about the first "chemical" love for another guy (I know him about the same, but we were not close, talked and "buzzed" about youth in one campaign). It turned out that he just showed up at parting with the first man, and now I have been living with him for 1.5 years. At first, the former man got in touch and wanted to meet, found reasons, but I thought that I would build relationships with another and did not react, but I often noticed that I remember about him and even sad and cry from time to time. Relations with the second man are much worse, they began to swear almost in the first months, everything was further complicated by his significant problems in sex and drinking (now he almost does not drink, according to our agreement). But here's another trouble, the first man met a girl in the meantime, and after 3 months of dating he is going to marry her .. I found out about it, and for me it was a blow. Because he was against stamps and other government duties. In general, I left him also for reasons, as it seemed to me, of his certain irresponsibility: his philosophy of life scared me (“I don’t even need to work to have money, I have to like work, no one owes anything to anyone, I am what I am, accept me like this, I will not be a hypocrite, ”etc.), and we still could not agree (I also did not know how to adequately convey information, and also thought that the problem was just my dislike of him). But now I can appreciate that it was not in vain that we lived for 8 years and it was very good, we liked it, it was just that at the end of the relationship, questions about plans for building a family, mortgages and having children began to be discussed, a wedding was planned. All the years we lived, worked and traveled, got a cat (he gave it), did not care about stamps and children (this was my first relationship in general and his serious one).

  31. Helena

    Good afternoon, Pavel! Your article is like a godsend for me! Your thesis is to go to the "monastery" for a month, they confirmed my inner desire to leave for a month (tickets have already been bought) from the choice between two guys, from the whole situation. However, nevertheless, I would like to hear your advice and a look at my story (have I thought of everything for myself, have I made mistakes, and is there a really simple way out) ... The first guy is the first strong love, there was a long relationship with him (almost 5 years ), but I always had the feeling that I was “unloved”, lacked attention, care, emotional communication, for the last 2 years I was an initiator in the development of relations, more often I thought about parting (but at the same time he could occasionally show himself, his feelings, which stopped, in addition to my love, from the break). We began to live together, it was enough for me for 3 months, his cold and so on, forced me to leave him (he begged me in every possible way not to do this, promised to fix everything, swore in love - I no longer believed ...), despite the fact that I strongly still loved. The second guy is an old acquaintance, and communication began with him when everything was already going to part with the first. Communication was very easy, the feeling of one wave and worldview, I liked his character traits (kindness, responsiveness, activity, attentiveness). And yes, in order to forget and find the strength to leave the first, to forget in the end, I began to communicate with the second .. Alas, now I know that it was a mistake to start building a new one so soon, without letting go of the old .. Further, my expectations were not met , literally a month later, I began to often remember the first one, cried, suffered, there were thoughts like “what would have happened if I had a chance, love would not pass,” but I convinced myself that I did everything right. When we started dating the second (it turned out that we almost immediately began to live together, everything happened easily, and as I now know, according to the second plan, so I don’t go back to the first .. They knew each other), the first, of course, became adamant about the renewal of the relationship. And so everything lasted almost 10 months (thoughts, tears - a period of calm and so on in a circle). Gradually, in addition to warmth, I was already imbued with feelings for the second (it turns out that he was seeking my love throughout all relationships), somewhere with pain remembering the first (he periodically wrote or I called, in moments of "weakness", and this everything was accompanied by quarrels with the second, quarrels were only because of this). Then the first one offered to see each other, offered to talk and start over the relationship. But now I was held by the second and already a kind of affection for him, and yet the fear of being with the first. And so it lasted another six months. And at one point everything burst. When once again, after I blocked the first one (with tears), he asked my mother to just talk to me. And when at that moment, the second one began to call for marriage, I realized that until I talked to the first I could not do anything further. Bottom line. I have been living alone for almost 2 months at will, in order to understand a little about myself, feelings, to look at the truth of the guys' feelings. But they both say and do almost the same thing. Both he and he “love very much, they cannot imagine life without me, they will not give it to anyone, they will do everything for the sake of the future and make them happy, they represent the family, and so on. ". Both show attention and care, as far as they can overcome the distance that I put. Both call to get married. And both are aware of each other's existence. The first one said that then he tried to let go, he thought that he could forget (in principle, as I tried), but no, he did not even start a new relationship in 1.5 years, even fleeting (and this is true) and confirmed that the separation was not empty place, because he doubted then what exactly he needed and whether that relationship was needed, he says that he was a "fool". And now I have already become imbued with the second, and I'm afraid that if I return to the first, then after a while everything, because of which we parted -
    will return. Complicates the fact that the first is more successful in life (modeling life with him, in this regard, there will be no problems), and with the second it is easy mentally, that is, in communication, and you can joke with him, cry to him, we understand each other very much, his the family fell in love with me and accepted me as their daughter, and he surrounds himself and his attention (sometimes even unnecessarily), and it was like this all the time in a relationship with him, but he is less successful and sometimes he has failures, which are strongly reflected in life ... lost and confused. I can't figure out if I love one of them, or both, or if I don't love anyone at all. I don't want to look for a third, there are no moral strengths, and I doubt that I can fall in love and be with someone else, and I still cannot let them go (the first and second) ... And there is a fear of a decision, because in my case it will be a painting (and means bezpovorotno and for sure), but I want to be sure that I am with the fact that I was not mistaken with the decision ... And now I want to leave for a month in another country (and the first one helps me with this, as he says that he wants to help, despite what will be the result (I will not stay with him), because he loves, and understands that it is hard for me now from this whole situation).
    Thanks in advance for your reply!

  32. Valia

    Hello Pavel. I have such a situation - I met with a married man for more than a year, then they broke off our relationship because of his family, she is very dear to him, but continued friendly communication. Six months after the breakup, she began to meet with a married man, too. And as it turned out, he is a friend of my first. And now that man has divorced his wife and wants to start all over again with me, I also want to, because the feelings for him are strong (trepidation, tenderness, love), I do not know what to do with his second friend. And should he tell about his friend, because he divorced precisely because of his wife's betrayal. And I broke off the relationship, because I wanted him to be happy in his family. I got very confused. There is no way to escape, because I work with him at the same job.

    Good afternoon! Help me please ... The situation is as follows. I lived with a guy in a civil marriage for 7 years. We traveled a lot and lived for ourselves. He is a poker player and all in credits. I was afraid to start a serious family with him. Because of debts to him he will hide in another city. we talk on the phone every day he comes for a week we live together. but there is one important thing but… we have not slept together for many years. he doesn’t want me and I don’t insist… I have a housekeeping boyfriend and passion mad to me. but he does not support me in difficult situations ... I babysit him like a child. and I call my ex when I have problems. it's hard for me. nerves are at the limit. a guy who is now afraid to start living together ... although I have been with him for a year. indecision is killing me but I can’t take it myself and insist on living with me. the problem is that the apartment is mine. and he lives in a rented apartment. I technically cannot move to him. but he doesn’t want because he was once kicked out of his apartment by a girl and he has a complex. I hope I wrote it clearly

  33. Maria

    Pavel, good afternoon!
    Thank you for the article. I have such a situation, I lived with a young man for 2 years in a civil marriage, parted on the grounds that the person was not at all sure that I was the one with whom he would like to build a family, he was not sure of his feelings for to me. Constantly tossed about, wants something does not want. I packed all my things and moved away from him.
    In 4 months I have a new young man, he is very good, I really like him and I feel good with him. But the former appeared with the words that he understood everything, that he wants to be with me, build a family with me and loves me. And it was as if they hit me on the head with a butt. I do not know how to be. What to do in such a situation? Tell me please.

  34. Kate

    Hello. How to choose between two men, if one is far away (calls me to him in perspective), and the other is near. I like both of them. I made the mistake of letting both of them look after me. At that time, there was no certainty about the first (which he knew about). He was unemployed (later I found a mediocre job for him), did not strive for anything, communicated with "bad company". At the moment, everything has changed. Another complete opposite is reliable, fulfilled, having goals in life. Both are pleasant to talk to, good-looking. Both want to get married - but with the first one I will have to prompt, and maybe make decisions for him. And with the second, I can be a "weak woman." The first is more gentle and affectionate. The second is more demanding and requires more of my attention. I do not have the opportunity to leave myself or completely limit communication. The first guy knows the whole situation and is ready to wait for me (which makes me feel obligated, a traitor, but at the same time I appreciate it), the second one knows that I was with another guy at the time of our acquaintance and is waiting for me to come to him. thanks

    Dianka D

    Good day! My situation. I have been dating a man for a couple of years, he offered to marry him. And here, just at work, I became very close to a colleague and we fell in love with each other (this is a couple of months of communication). I think about him constantly. At the same time, my current boyfriend, dear to me, is natural, we have already established relationships and we are comfortable with each other. And with this new - euphoria of feelings, attraction. The new one presented me with a choice - to leave my current boyfriend and be with him. I could not do it, I took the tactic of inaction - because this choice is impossible for me, the brain just sways in one direction, then in the other, as you wrote in the article. And because I still don't know enough new. A colleague and merged, because I did not finish the old relationship ... But the craving remained on both sides, we walk and look at each other, from time to time I try to write, I do not succumb to this desire. Perhaps, if he had not delivered an ultimatum, I would have continued to communicate with both of them, recognize him, and choose him.

  35. Svetlana

    Pavel, is it considered to go on vacation with the children? Children will communicate with their father, probably tell something. Will this affect the result or can I try this way?

A huge number of women do not suffer from loneliness, but, on the contrary, do not know whom to choose from among the many fans. If by reflection it was possible to single out two leaders, then it remains only to conduct a "duel" to determine the winner.

  • Two new acquaintances
  • Tips on which men to choose
  • Reviews and comments

How to choose between two men?

Many ladies are quite normal about the fact that several men are caring for them at once. In most cases, the argument is this - one partner is not able to provide everything necessary for a happy life, and this applies to both moral and material aspects.

Even if such a situation is beneficial at a certain stage of life, then in a few years, when you want to start a family, you will have to make a choice. To make it clearer, consider two popular scenarios for the appearance on the horizon of two contenders for the heart.

The return of a former lover

A fairly common situation when a woman, after parting, began a new relationship and then suddenly her former lover knocks on the door again. In this case, a huge number of questions and doubts arise about who to choose: a man with whom many events and feelings are associated, or a new lover with whom the story is just beginning and everything is beautiful and promising. Note that if such a situation has arisen, it means that we can unequivocally say that the point in the past relationship has not been set and the feelings have not cooled down.

To understand for yourself who you need to choose, you should give yourself answers to some questions:

  • Because of what the breakup happened and what did not suit the former partner. It is important to understand, if nothing has changed and a similar situation will happen again, can you come to terms with it;
  • Is there a fear of opening up to a new person and building a new strong alliance? Keep in mind that often women are able to idealize past relationships, but if you try to remember everything like that, then not everything was as beautiful as it seems;
  • Make a list of the positive and negative qualities of both partners, just do it as truthfully as possible. Or write a list of characteristics that an ideal man should have and compare each partner according to it.

Thanks to such work, a woman will be able to understand from whom to receive love and with whom it is better to build a truly sincere relationship. Remember, there is no 100% guarantee that a particular man will make you happy, because a relationship is the work of two people and no one knows what may happen tomorrow. Psychologists do not recommend to hesitate and postpone making a decision for the future, because this will only aggravate the situation and as a result, you can lose both, being left at a broken trough.

Two new acquaintances

When figuring out how to choose, if I love two different men, it is worth understanding another popular situation when a woman is simultaneously courted by two representatives of the stronger sex, with whom there is no history in the past. In such situations, most often fans are the absolute opposite of each other, for example, one is a romantic, and the other is a brutal. Start by analyzing the actions and actions that men do, and not only in relation to you, but also to other people.

Here, as never before, the well-known proverb comes up - "Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are." Then you should think about what kind of relationship you generally want. For example, with the "bad guy", you probably won't be able to spend the evening watching a movie or watching the sunset. The relationship in such a couple is more like a volcano that explodes regularly. If a woman is not ready for such a union in the future, then it is not worth starting a relationship, since such males do not change.

It will be possible to choose a worthy man only after you manage to understand yourself. It is necessary to think about what exactly attracts in each partner, since many ladies often wind themselves up that they like some man.

Thanks to a simple analysis, it will be possible to draw conclusions that will help to make the right choice. Psychologists say that sometimes it is enough to talk frankly with a man, to say what is missing in a relationship, and then, and the choice will not need to be made.

When a woman is faced with a difficult choice, you can turn to the advice given by professional psychologists. They will help you analyze the situation and make a decision.

  • Imagine the future with each partner. Think about what kind of man will be husband and father. Can you count on a happy future;
  • Get to know friends and relatives of applicants for your heart. The environment will help you better understand how a person behaves in different situations;
  • Sometimes, to decide whom I love, it is enough just to trust your intuition. Just try to feel who your significant other is;
  • Sometimes, in order to understand who is worth staying with, you need to be alone. You can go on a journey and then make a choice. Moving away from everyone, you can understand who is really needed.

By the way, I would like to recall the old wisdom, which says that if you do not know who to choose from two lovers, then stop at the second. This is explained by the fact that if a woman loves the first man, but never pays attention to the other.

Now you know how to choose the right one of the two men, but remember to always be honest and open with yourself. Be sincere, and then you will certainly be able to build a strong and happy relationship.

Ask a psychologist

I am 24 years old. My boyfriend is my age, and we have been together for 4 years (2 of which we have been living together). He's my first. He is a very positive person, homely, he brings everything into the house, he does not skip money, he spends it all the time on me. It is calm and reliable with him, he is a good support and support for me. But the only thing is that sex with him for some reason never really pleased me. It always happens as a matter of routine, part of our shared responsibilities, and almost never brings any pleasure. In bed, he does everything mechanically and without showing strong emotions. I know he tries, but he is not an emotional person in general, and in sex in particular. And sex is very important to me, I do not consider it a secondary thing in a relationship. I learned to put up with what did not suit me, and we had a calm and measured life. But he was in no hurry to marry me. Sometimes even I asked him when we would get married, and he simply said that now was not the time, and sometimes he added that sometimes he did not like my behavior, and whether we should have gotten married with such a relationship at all. But at the same time he did not want to disagree with me and said that he loved me.
But three months ago another man showed up. He is French, he came to work in our organization, he is 26 years old, and feelings flared up between us. I found in this man everything that I so lacked in my young man. The Frenchman is a very open person, he has emotions, he is a very passionate lover. With him I have the kind of sex that I have always dreamed of. I thought that maybe he was just playing with me, but after a while I became convinced that he had real feelings for me and that he loved me very much. And I also fell in love with him very much. He said that for my sake he was ready to stay in Russia, and he was ready to do everything to stay with me, to live with me. From the material point of view, here, of course, is worse, but it is quite possible to live.
When I told my boyfriend that we had to leave, because I met another, he changed in a second. He did not want to leave, he began to persuade me to stay and put pressure on my weak points. He said that he always wanted to marry me, he just wanted to sort out the material problems first. He said that he always wanted a child from me and that he loved me more than life. Each time with such a conversation, I began to cry and ask why he had not paid attention to me before, went about his business and did not say that he wanted everything that he was telling me now. All these conversations did not end with anything. On my initiative, we even parted, but it turned out to be temporary, since he still continued to call me, offering to create a family, to support me so that I could even leave work and not need anything. I cried because I couldn't decide what to do. On the one hand, there are well-established relationships, material well-being, family, love, emotions. They both love me and are ready to do anything for me. Now I cannot understand who I love and with whom I still stay. Thinking about the possible life with one, I begin to think that I will feel bad without the second. The Frenchman means a lot to me, but without my boyfriend (who doesn't want to become an ex) I can't either. I cannot voluntarily let go of any of them. I kept waiting for the problem to be solved by itself - some of them would get bored, and someone would leave me. But that doesn't happen, and I can't decide anything. I've been living like hell for three months now :(

... I cannot voluntarily let go of any of them ...

It is worth getting away from both. And it is simply necessary to take responsibility for your life. Otherwise, kindergarten.

... Now I can't understand who I love and with whom I still stay ...

Falling in love and love are two different things.

Love comes gradually, love comes quickly.

Love grows, and growth takes time. Falling in love usually falls on your head.

The capacity for love increases along with the growth of the personality.

Falling in love is associated with the animal nature of man, love with his maturity.

In order to fall in love: it is enough to let everything take its course and give yourself free rein.

In a state of falling in love, the image of another person becomes an obsession and without it life seems meaningless.

For falling in love, sex is critical; in love, it is not paramount.

In love, the partner is always present, the relationship with him continues all the time, because we have built or are building life itself with him.

Falling in love creates the illusion of growth, being in fact only a stop, a temporary cessation of neurosis.

Love, by definition, is personal growth.

Think about it.

Good answer 1 Bad answer 1

Hello Olga! let's see what's going on:

On the one hand, there are well-established relationships, material well-being, family, children and stability. On the other hand - mad passion, love, emotions. They both love me and are willing to do anything for me. Now I can't understand who i love and with whom should I still stay.

YOU love it - but NOT YOU! You accept FROM them, WHAT YOU DO NOT have enough with yourself! and YOU are afraid to be left NOT WITHOUT THEM - but WITH YOURSELF!

but you need to proceed from the consequences of your actions and the decision - after all, responsibility FOR YOUR choice will affect only YOUR life!

what is the first young man? what is HE REAL? did YOU see him? for all the time while you lived with him - you accepted such an attitude towards yourself and now HE ONLY in words wants to give YOU everything - and for all the time - what was ON the action? YOU are afraid to lose only THAT THAT IS IN YOUR HEAD - THAT in which YOU yourself believe - i.e. his words....

the second - HE gives YOU something that is NOT enough in a relationship with the first - do you need it ...

the choice is still YOURS ...

Thinking about the possible life with one, I begin to think that I will feel bad without the second.

The Frenchman means a lot to me, but without my boyfriend (who doesn't want to become an ex) I can't either.

left WITHOUT THEM, YOU will find yourself with yourself - and this is what YOU are afraid of! what will happen then? who will you run into?

it is important to get to know yourself and learn to give yourself WHAT YOU need, and NOT to look for yourself outside!

I cannot voluntarily let go of any of them. I kept waiting for the problem to be solved by itself - some of them would get bored, and someone would leave me. But that doesn't happen, and I can't decide anything. I've been living like hell for three months now :(

note - it is YOU who allow yourself to live in hell - it is YOU who treat yourself that way, torment yourself! and YOU CANNOT take responsibility on yourself - since a choice is a consequence that YOU are NOT ready to bear and shift this responsibility ON the young people around YOU - how mature is it? and who do THEY want to see next to them - a Child who cannot make a decision or a Woman? question - who are YOU? but if you get bored, both realize who you are and decide everything for themselves, and perhaps WITHOUT YOU and YOU will come to what you are running from - TO YOURSELF !!

Olga, if you really decide to figure out what is happening, feel free to contact me - call me - I will be glad to help you!

Good answer 1 Bad answer 0

Not every girl can boast of having many fans. However, sometimes the situation develops so that two fans appear at once. The young lady begins to be tormented by the choice between two men. As a result, she still has to break someone's heart, since in such an ambiguous story there are always two winners and one loser.

It can be difficult to come to the right decision when choosing between two men, as there are many parameters to consider. Below you will find practical tips on what to do and what to look for when you have to choose one of two men.

Good or bad guy

One of the most effective ways to choose between two men is to list the positive and negative qualities of each of them. Think about the features of their appearance, tastes, behavior and other criteria that you consider important. Make a list for each. Then weigh the results and determine the winner. Just remember that there are many other factors that need to be considered as well. However, making such a list is a good starting point to choose between two men.

Woman and man compatibility

Whenever you are faced with a choice between two men, observe each of them. Compare characters, temperaments, worldview, tastes in music and art, love for pets, and so on. Think about how a particular candidate suits your own tastes, how much you yourself are ready to share the position or hobbies of a particular man.

Compatibility isn't the only thing that binds you in bed. If you notice that many things or hobbies of one of the candidates seem strange to you, or you are not ready to share them, make a choice in favor of the other, no matter how strong the sexual attraction between you is.

Obligation

A real man is characterized by how he relates to his own obligations. This includes the way he talks with friends or subordinates, members of his family, how he keeps promises made not only to you. If the choice between two men is relevant to you, you need to make sure that you are choosing a partner who is able to build a long-term relationship.

If you do not know whether he had such an experience in the past, if the candidate cannot show you friends with whom he has maintained relations since childhood or at least from college, you may be disappointed in the near future.

Hopeless characters and bad habits

Nothing betrays a hopeless character better than having bad habits. Alcohol or drug addiction, extreme views (in relation to religion, race, gender or politics), what is called "male chauvinism" are especially relevant here. If you find similar signs in one of the chosen ones, it is better to stay away from such a man.

Social adaptability of a man

If you are with your companion in public places, you will want to be proud of their social talents and achievements, as well as their ability to present themselves in society. When you feel at ease with your companion in public and among your friends, as well as his friends and acquaintances, you may have made a good choice.

Does a man make plans for the future

It's okay to live for today as if tomorrow never comes. Nevertheless, if you have slightly different outlooks on life and how you should treat it, it is better to choose between two men, someone who has a clear and realistic idea of ​​his own future, including his ideal place of work, residence. , family and so on.

Talk softly about this topic with each of your two fans, and only then decide whose vision of the future attracts you more.

The presence of ambition in a man

What does it mean to be the “perfect guy”? Dreaming of lofty goals or making sure that goals are achieved and dreams come true? If this is a rhetorical question for you, choose the man with the most daring ambitions.

Signs of jealousy in a man and in you

This is a two-sided problem. First, you must make sure that the man you choose between does not show any signs of deviant jealousy. If there are such signs, then everything will get worse and worse, draw your own conclusions. Second, listen to your heart.

If you stay with one of your men while feeling like you're cheating on the other, it might be worth opting for a second fan.

Your own freedom

When you are young and love freedom, no one has the right to limit it. If one of your two men is trying to impose any restrictions on what you do and how you behave, think about it, do you want to trade freedom for new rules? Analyze how much each of your fans respects your personal freedom.

Use your imagination when choosing between two men

This method requires a little imagination on your part. Think of your two men and imagine that you are going to travel with each of them for at least a month. Then you will have a wedding. Then the children will appear. How do you feel when you present with one of them? Are your feelings different? Thinking about which fan brings you more joy when you think about your future together?

Test your men

It sounds a little cruel, but there is no better way to test how each of the two men you choose between is ready to endure your whims and tantrums. Arrange unexpected tantrums for each of them, "please" with a sudden change in your mood, be arrogant or sarcastic. Watch your own and men's reactions. Rather, the man who can handle your little test is best for you.

How do you feel about little deceptions?

The choice between two men is difficult. Especially if in the process of such a choice you have to communicate with both at the same time. In this situation, you can't do without small deceptions. Listen to your feelings. Your reaction will show you which of your two fans you take more seriously if you have to go for little tricks with them.

Listen to your heart

Considering the different ways when you have to choose between two men, one should not lose sight of the feeling of ... love. Of course, if you find yourself falling in love with one of your two fans, the problem of choice will go away. Only for this you must listen carefully to your heart and be fully aware of your feelings.

Soul mates

You cannot always be guided only by reason when choosing between two men. If you feel that you have found your soul mate in one of them, even if it does not satisfy all the criteria of your selection, then so be it. You should not be shy and make a choice. All that can be done in this case is to wish you the best of luck on your incredible adventure!

Your inner voice

When there are no other options left to choose between two men, listen to your intuition and use the full power of your sixth sense to decide who deserves to be the best partner for a girl like you.

The author of the article : Margarita Degtyareva, "Moscow Medicine" ©
Denial of responsibility : The information provided in this article on how to choose between two men is for guidance only.