Does love really exist? Is there really love Is there really strong love
The question "Is there love?" are asked by many who have experienced failure in love, been betrayed or live without feeling anything for anyone, including their partner. But those who live with a loved one, and every day melt away from the influx of feelings, they know for sure that she is and do not ask anyone about it.
So how does it happen that some scream that there is no love, that these are just fictions and vegetate alone, while others enjoy this wonderful feeling and live in love, peace and harmony for decades.
How does it happen that we look for it and wait, and when we find it, we say that it does not exist. What is the reason and how does this bright feeling appear, is it possible to keep it for many years and how to find it? We will talk about this below, but for now, ask yourself the question of whether love exists. Here you answered for yourself, now we will answer you.
Love is the foundation
You yourself have just answered the question of whether there is love, most likely imagining the image of that person who is dear and with whom you would like to develop this bright feeling. Yes, there is love - it is the basis of all life and it begins from the very first days. 
human life, from the love of a mother to her child and the love of a child to his mother. It is on this love that the beginning of each new life is based. But it grows with the person, now love for the mother is not enough and at the stage of puberty the body begins to demand another love - love for a person with whom you can create a new life. A life born in love from love.
Same-sex love is rather a pathology of love, and for many, after a few years or even decades, it goes away. There are those who seek to look for people only of their own gender, but it sits in the head rather than in the heart, and if initially it was a mistake of the body, then it becomes a mistake of the mind. It is impossible to say for sure that there is no love in same-sex relationships, it is, but of a slightly different nature, it rather develops from hopelessness and on a person’s desire to be needed by someone, from the mind and does not live long.
How to understand that this is love?
When we meet people, relationships are established, we feel good, and we begin to think that this is it - love. However, after a while, such relationships begin to crumble due to the fact that we get to know the shortcomings of a person closer and some love begins to flow into irritation. At this stage, 80% of breakups happen and people begin to say that there is no love.
In fact, love does not develop, does not go away, does not arise - it just exists in the heart. Yes, it just exists and it depends only on you how you will give it an outlet. Each individual person manifests his feelings in different ways, but the second person of the couple is also individual, their relationship, their love and life together depend on the manifestations of their own love. It is given to a person and only decides how to deal with it, give it or keep it deep under lock and key, without feeling it.
When you meet your man, who is also ready to give and feel his love - then one huge feeling is born, from which the ears are pawned and the heart is beating. This does not mean at all that if you give each other love there will be no quarrels, because they will all be individual, and again it depends on you how you will perceive these quarrels. Someone will proudly say that I will not call, and someone will step over pride with the words “I want to be happy, not proud” and dial the number where they are waiting for his call.
Those who feel this feeling do not ask such a question, but those who have not experienced it do not get tired of asking what it is. In this case, it is enough that when she truly feels her from the first moment, when your feelings, inner energy will overwhelm you, when each kiss will be a desire to give your feelings, and your eyes will shine. Many scientists have tried to explain what happens to a person at the moment of falling in love, who unanimously say that this state is like euphoria, that hormones are to blame for everything. Although the hormones themselves are the reaction of the body to the overflowing energy and this great feeling itself, pushing to rash acts.
When we constantly give love, it, like everything else in this world, dries up. And what can be said in such a case that it is not eternal? No! Like everything, love is required in constant nourishment to grow within you and never end. How can it end and how to save it:
Remember that love is your gift, which was given to you personally and lives inside you. When you can feel this love in your heart, open it to others and give freely, you will very soon find someone who
I am also ready to open my feelings and share them with you.
You must learn to accept people as they are, because you chose them yourself and your love should not become less because of their actions, your grievances and some kind of trouble. Otherwise, your gift will be lost, you will not be able to learn how to use it, and the body, tired of constant pain and nerves, will simply not be able to give anything, but will only demand the absorption of someone else's love. In this case, you may be comfortable, but you will not be able to feel love. It will be a forbidden and lost feeling that you will have to learn to feel again. Open your heart and don't be afraid to feel! There is love, and it lives in you!
The question of the existence of love excites the minds of millions. Of course, most people believe that true love exists, because everyone has experienced it. Moreover, you can see it. It is well read in the eyes of lovers. The fire of passion and desire envelops the hearts of lovers, making them beat faster. So does true love exist, you ask? Everyone must find this answer for themselves.
Is there love at first sight
Love happens only at first sight. Thirty seconds is enough to fall in love with a person. This fact has been confirmed by scientists. During this time, you can easily have time to assess the appearance (figure, height, hair color ...) and the mindset of a person of the opposite sex. Many may object by saying that they knew their partner for several years and only then fell in love with each other. And this fact has an explanation. Our brain is constantly plotting us. You just might not be ready for this relationship or involved in others. Only when the consciousness fully processes the information stored in the subconscious that you like this person, only then is it possible to develop relationships and, of course, falling in love. That is why it can be argued that all love happens at first sight, and manifests itself only when a person is ready for it.
Love
Before a person can truly fall in love, he goes through a period of falling in love. This is an attraction that occurs at the hormonal level. Falling in love is accompanied by bright, passionate relationships, strong sexual attraction, increased emotionality and mood swings.
Is there everlasting love
Love cannot last forever. It has been proven that the feelings that lovers show are caused by an increase in the blood of the hormone dopamine and norepinephrine (norepinephrine). It is believed that love originates in the heart, but it is not. The primary source that emits these hormones is the brain, or rather its most ancient departments that have been preserved from our primitive ancestors.
Simultaneously with the increase in dopamine and adrenaline in the blood, the amount of serotonin (the hormone of pleasure) decreases. Lack of serotonin leads to a decrease in mood, which leads to associations that love causes suffering. An excess of adrenaline leads to increased inspiration and feelings of flight, lifting. Dopamine is the target hormone. He compels us to achieve the desired object.
However, the time of love is not eternal. A fact established by scientists says that the state of being in love lasts from 12 to 17 months. This period is quite enough to achieve reciprocity or to be refused. If love were eternal, it would burn happy couples in its flame and people would suffer from exhaustion, and rejected lovers would die from suffering.
In rare cases, falling in love can last up to three years. Most often this is manifested in people suffering from unrequited love. For happy lovers, nature has provided a mechanism that extinguishes the hot flame of passions, turning it into an even, moderate fire.
Period of stability
When the couple finally came together, love begins a new stage. Lovemaking produces oxytocin and vasopressin in the body - hormones of affection and tenderness. These substances in the body directly influence the production of offspring and the formation of an amazing relationship that binds mother and child.
It is oxytocin and vasopressin that are the antidote to love. They suppress the hormones of passion and at the same time increase the feeling of affection.
The attachment phase lasts exactly as long as it takes to bear and feed the child. This period is four years. After that, many relationships fall apart.
Couples who have been married for many years do not have a hormonal connection. Their feelings are based not on subconscious behavior laid down by our ancient ancestors, but on human relationships. It's a completely different feeling. How to call them is up to you. Whether friendship, or eternal love.
Love, of course, exists. Everyone understands differently what love is.
And yet - love is different:
- Love for parents
- love for a teacher who becomes a mentor and adviser for a person in the main questions about life;
- and finally, love to my.
With the first three points, I think everything is clear.
But love for the opposite sex - is it love? Or is it just habit or attachment?
The question is ambiguous, as, however, and the answer to this question. Each couple, each love story is individual.
- Someone, at the beginning of a relationship, "drowns", blinded by love, forgets about everything in the world, soars in the clouds, seeing nothing in front of him, except for the object of his adoration;
- Someone soberly builds relationships, weighing every step and every word, but never knowing love as such.
Here another question arises. Unclear, which of these two couples is happier : the one that at the beginning of the relationship is given to impulses of passion, or the one that acts "at the behest" of the mind.
Love-match
Again, it is not a fact that the feelings that take hold in the first case are love. Rather, passion, and then, after a while, passions subside, life remains, children, common sense returns, and it’s good if, in addition to feelings, there are also common points of intersection, common interests. Indeed, often a person is not aware of his actions, it is like a veil before his eyes, and when the eyes are "cleared", it is already too late, and the couple either breaks up or remains to coexist with each other. There is no longer any talk of love. They don't even have anything to talk about. This is the truth of life. As a result -, the search for happiness at another pier.
Marriage based on sober choice
The second pair, given by me in the example, can get along well together. Measured relationships, planning children, respect for each other, affection - maybe sooner or later this will just become true love? In such a union, both a man and a woman cannot imagine their lives without each other, they have something to talk about, they speak the "same language", which cannot be said about the couple from the first example.
The topic voiced in the question can be developed for a very long time. Love in my mind - this is when you see a person, no matter how much time has passed since the beginning of the relationship - the heart begins to beat tremblingly, there is a kind of surge of emotions. With this person you want to spend all your free time, not leaving him for a moment. Honestly, I have not met in my environment such couples who, after 10-20-30 years of marriage, experience such feelings towards each other. At the same time, I don’t deny the existence of love, of course, it exists, but not everyone manages to find it.
How often people try to save love, look for it all over the world, dedicate poems and songs to it. But does it really exist? Why does a person want to be with someone so much, why does he believe that having another person will make his life better?Fear of being alone
People don't know how to be alone. They are too used to having someone around. Even in the room, almost everyone has a TV or music playing in the background. The world of modern man has become more social than before. People are afraid to suddenly be alone with their thoughts, they do not want to think about their lives.Even if a person is closed in a room without technical devices alone, he will try to occupy himself with something, start doing something, just not to. Someone will eat, someone will start to sing or dream. But it is difficult for a person to be in this loneliness for more than an hour. People have forgotten how to be alone with themselves, which is why they are so frantically looking for love, why they believe so strongly that living together is much better.
Love is the solution to all problems
How often do people think that meeting a loved one will change their life. One has only to find him or her, and the world will shine with bright colors. And indeed, the first time it happens, and falling in love makes life magical. But it passes, and with it thousands of families collapse, thousands of children are left without one of their parents. How often girls claim that He will come and protect, protect, support and love. All responsibility for life is transferred to, falls on someone who does not always know how to bear it. And instead of building a joint future, instead of looking for compromises, there are accusations that he can't cope. Men, on the other hand, expect support, understanding, love from their companion. But She turns from a princess in a matter of months into a “grouchy woman” who accuses and demands.
What is the reason for these problems? Just love has become a welcome addition. People think that having found love, they will get happiness. But it doesn't change lives. And if a person has not learned to make himself happy before a relationship, if he has not found a way to find comfort with himself, then meeting with another person will only increase the problems, make them brighter. Only a couple of years will pass, and a loved one will suddenly find himself to blame for all the troubles.
love as an addition
As soon as I have ... And after the ellipsis, you can write hundreds of things: love, a couple, an apartment, success in business, a new position, a car of a certain brand, such and such an amount of income. What will happen then? A new goal will simply appear, one word will be replaced by another. And at the moment when such a desired feeling appears in life, it will become clear that life has not become better. After a year or three, the longing for happiness will suddenly appear again and.But until people find emptiness in themselves, until they understand that nothing external can bring peace, it can be said for sure that there is no love. The search for her is just an attempt to fill the void in the heart, but even in the family she will remain if there is no love for herself.
First you need to find harmony with yourself. It is necessary to meet and get acquainted not with another person, but with a real one. Then you need to learn how to live in peace with a new acquaintance, find ways to please yourself in any life circumstances. First, you need to gradually gain understanding of yourself, respect for yourself and your opinion, free yourself from guilt for any reason, and only then open your heart to feelings for another. And then, perhaps, love will knock very quietly on the door. Well, everything that was before is different, it's just an attempt to supplement yourself and your life with at least something.
Are there halves?
A person is not a half of the whole, he is not a part, but a full-fledged being. And only the understanding of this gives freedom and peace. This is clearly seen in the lives of ordinary people: one day a woman enters into a relationship, devotes her life to them, and suddenly realizes that if he leaves, then she will have nothing left. At one point, there is a fear of loneliness, a fear of being abandoned.This moment is perfectly felt by men, it is when fear appears that they understand that now everything depends only on them, that they are now the main creators of the situation. And at this moment begins the manifestation, disrespect, indifference. But how to avoid this, how not to feel the fear of loss? You just need to find yourself in advance, you need to understand that it takes more than two to be happy, that even one can be quite comfortable, and no troubles can be tolerated if they cause inconvenience.
Is there love? Of course, it exists, but only it is possible between two whole personalities. And not between halves who are looking for support, not a partner.
We are adults and we understand well that true love is, first of all, a creative and pleasant feeling. It inspires, inspires and, most importantly, is the result of mutual sympathy between two people. Everything else, which is also called love, but with an obligatory tragic epithet, is a completely different story that has nothing to do with adequate reality.
Unrequited love is an unconscious desire (or state) of a person to go into imbalance. Or the same drug addiction, because dependence on a person is the very first sign of unhappy love. As a rule, people who are prone to such feelings are stable: they find themselves in similar situations over and over again. That is, as a rule, this is a person who is used to suffering, for him unrequited love is not a bolt from the blue, but a pattern to which he is accustomed.
Why is this happening? The obsessed with "love" does not know how to take care of himself, it happens that he does not really belong to himself either. It is extremely important for him to have some specific object of desire in order to feel life and its meaning, albeit in such a distorted form, through pain. In addition, the addict, of course, has no idea about the boundaries - his own and other people. It captures the whole person, leaving him no opportunity to breathe. This is one of the common reasons why the initial mutual sympathy turns into unhappy love: from someone who violates personal space and controls every breath, they run to the ends of the world (if the person is adequate and mature).
How does a love "addict" usually come to such a life? In short, for reasons of lack of will, interest in life, self-realization, hobbies and hobbies. You need to live somehow, but in order to live fully and get a return, you need to invest. Those who do not want to invest take on the role of a lifelong victim and refuse to develop. The roots of love addiction have children's scenarios: you choose a figure (as parents) and expect miracles from it. That is, you expect from a partner the same thing that a child needs: love, warmth, energy. No partner - no happiness. Familiar? Not many people cope with the role of "guardians": sooner or later you will realize that your loved one is not able to heal your wounds, and in general you do not get what you expect from him. Relationships are like a swing - from a state of bliss to excruciating pain.
How does love addiction begin? You are carried away by a person, and over time, he becomes a resource for you - he literally feeds you with energy. It is difficult for you to be distracted, to shift your attention to something else, you are constantly thinking not with yourself, but with the object of love. Then a terrible thing happens: the feeling begins to vampire you. You lose yourself and your ability to work, forget about relatives and friends, forget about appearance and health. Ego and self-esteem collapse, covering your head with illusions, and you slowly and surely turn into jelly. Beauty, isn't it?
As in the case with all other addictions, only he himself can save the "drowning man". Stop feeding the illusion, better accept the reality: you are not loved (and you do not really love), but this is not the end of the world. Then try to abstract yourself from yourself: look from the outside, how deeply you are fixated on your pain and how pointless it is to be tormented by another person. Love is built only on reciprocity. When it is not there, illusions come into play. A person with good self-esteem and a sober view of the world always sees how others treat him, and does not draw in his head something superfluous, something that is not there, unless, of course, he is a writer or artist. Those who have violated the boundaries, do not understand at all where their emotions begin, and where - another. Everything is mixed up, mixed up, thought out. A person has just begun to look closely at you, and you are already sure that he is in love.
Realize that life in rose-colored glasses among mirages is not capable of bringing joy. And it's not about the parents or the wrong men. Your strength is in your body, not in the body of another. Do not look for yourself in someone else's head - you will never find it. Respect yourself and others: everyone needs real reciprocity, an exchange of emotions and feelings. By playing games with them, you devalue the very meaning of love, taking the side of the dependent and the weak. Relationships are built only in stability and stability, which can later be called love. Why not try, right?