How to get obedience from a child. A naughty child: how to achieve obedience without screaming, belting and sedatives. Existing methods of educating obedience

Do you want your child to study well, and jump up in the morning cheerfully, willingly go to school and bring good grades? Excessive severity, threats and punishments will not achieve this. You have to become a psychologist. Our tips will help you study well!

In order to motivate a child to study well, it is enough to remember and try to apply in life some rules that have long been deduced by professional psychologists.

Secret No. 1 How to study well - Answer all questions

No matter how busy you are - do not dismiss your son or daughter if they turned to you with a question. Take a break from your lesson, delve into it and try to answer interestingly, exhaustively and correctly. If you don’t know the answer, just admit it and promise to find the information, say, in the evening, in extreme cases, tomorrow. It is necessary to maintain in the child an interest in the process of cognition, then he will know for sure: learning is interesting!

Secret No. 2 How to study well - Keep hobbies

If a child likes to draw, enroll him in an art school; if he likes to experiment in chemistry, buy an encyclopedia, reagents and a Young Chemist set; if your daughter is crazy about ballet, give pointe shoes and give them to a choreographic circle. To understand what a child is interested in doing in life, he should try as many different activities as possible. That's what childhood is for!

Secret No. 3 How to study well - Be aware of school affairs

You must clearly imagine the atmosphere that has developed in the school. Talk to teachers as often as possible, attend all parent-teacher meetings, ask your child how the day went. If serious problems have begun - a conflict with a teacher or bullying by peers - be sure to figure it out. You may have to transfer your child to another school, sometimes this is the only way out. It makes no sense to talk about academic success if the child goes to school as if he were going to hard labor. Then it is useless to talk about good studies.

Secret #4 How to study well - A strong environment is important

Why strain when you are already the smartest in the class? This is how children often reason when they accidentally find themselves in an environment of weak students and without any difficulty stand out against their background. This approach immediately discourages development, becoming smarter and more knowledgeable. Take an interest in the level of classmates and decide if the situation here is too relaxing for your child.

Secret No. 5 How to study well - Do not scold for bad grades

This is not constructive. Moreover, one should not compare the child's assessments with the assessments of other children, set them as an example. Find out: why a bad result, what prevents you from achieving the best? Need help - be sure to help, explain, work with the child, hire a tutor, if necessary. And do not forget to always praise for good results!

Secret No. 6 How to study well - Develop a daily routine

This is best done with your child. Set aside a certain time for lessons, teach how to use an alarm clock.
At the end of each week, publish a “home wall newspaper” in which you report the successes and failures of the child with humor. At the end of the week, if everything went well in school, there should definitely be an encouragement - for example, a walk in the park or a visit to friends, a visit to the cinema or an ice cream parlor.

Secret No. 7 How to study well - We take a celebrity example

Get out the biographies of people who are an authority for the child and read with your child. Let him be convinced that in order to achieve success in life, you need to work hard, discipline yourself, and develop.

If you always keep your finger on the pulse, if you are interested in the affairs of your student not occasionally, but constantly, there will be no serious problems with your studies. And you will fix minor mistakes and troubles together.

Olga Moiseeva for the Women's magazine "Charm"

Many parents complain that children show complete indifference to household duties, do everything “under duress”. However, the blame should not be lazy and indifferent children, but themselves. If the father and mother had correctly motivated the child, gradually and tactfully accustomed him to feasible housework, the result would have been completely different. How should adults behave?

The vast majority of children at the age of 3 develop the habit of imitating their parents. Noticing that the father or mother is busy with something, the baby tries to do the same. This initiative should not be stopped, for fear that the baby will break something, spoil it, but in every possible way support and encourage - of course, within reasonable limits, without leading to permissiveness. Even if something does not work out for a child, in no case should he be scolded, ridiculed, called a bungler or incompetent. So you're just ruining the whole thing. It is better at first to give him the simplest assignments according to his strength, praise him for diligence (but not praise him) and delicately point out mistakes (but not too often), suggesting how to do it right. Thus, you will gradually accustom the baby to the fact that he has some responsibilities and they need to be fulfilled. And when the child reaches a more conscious age (about 5 years), this habit will be fixed.

Act according to the rule: "from simple to complex"

All children are different, for someone everything will turn out quickly, while someone will take much longer. This must be treated with understanding. If you see that some assignment turned out to be too difficult for the child, simplify the task. And only when he learns to quickly and easily perform it, try to give him more difficult work. It is very important that the baby sees and understands: “I can, I can do it!” Do not forget to praise the child from time to time, to say that his help around the house is important for parents.

If the child stubbornly does not show initiative, the desire to perform some household duties, think about how you can interest him, captivate him. A great way is to turn homework into a form of play, entertainment. For example, you can arrange a competition: “who will quickly put things in order” (options: “wash the dishes”, “clean up toys”, etc.). Try to avoid reproaches, threats: “if you don’t do this, we won’t take you for a walk.” And most importantly, be an example for the child in everything!

Parents often break into a cry to achieve discipline. The more we are exposed to stress, irritation and fatigue, the more we yell at children, trying to call them to order.

Unfortunately, crying only for a while can bring a beloved child to his senses. In the long term, this irrational way of upbringing leads to the fact that the child ceases to perceive our words and requests that we utter in a high tone.

What can actually work? How to maintain mutual understanding with the child and at the same time not let him sit on your head?

A small cheat sheet for parents on how to get discipline from a child:

1. Keep calm

When a child sees how the parent loses his temper, he is frightened at first, and then quickly realizes that this screaming and angry creature clearly cannot control the situation. Everything that you say in a raised voice will fly past his ears, because you will not be an authority for him. But your calmness, even if external, will help you quickly establish contact with the child so that he listens to you.

2. Remove the child from the situation that provokes bad behavior in him

For example, he broke up in the supermarket, demanding to buy him another chocolate bar, or at a party he behaves too noisily. Usually this is due to the fact that he is overexcited, tired and really needs your attention. Take him away or at least step aside, pay attention to him in any way available to you, show that you see, hear him and are ready for dialogue.

3. Try to calm him down

You will not be able to get through to a child who comes in crying or, conversely, is overexcited. He won't hear you. So hug him, distract him and calm him down. Say that you understand his feelings and sympathize with him, but now you cannot grant his request (briefly explain why). The most important thing is for the child to hear that mom or dad empathizes with him in this situation, they are on his side.

4. Speak calmly and stand firm

You decided to leave, so do not give in to another “well, please, mommy, a little more ...” However, you should not break into a cry when you see that the child is ignoring your requests. Get down to the level of the child, make eye contact with him and repeat your request quietly but firmly. Show that you are serious.

5. Be consistent with what you say

If the child knew that for the mess in the room he could lose his time at the computer, then do not deviate from what was said (although always be reasonable in such punishments, do not go to extremes).

6. Do not forget to explain to the child why you require something from him or act this way and not otherwise.

Toys should stand in their places, because it is convenient and beautiful. I can't buy you this car because you need a new sweater now and so on. It is important for a child to understand that they are considered, and not just put before a fact - this is possible, but this is not.

7. Be an example of the behavior you want your child to be.

Do you want him to keep his closet in order? Don't forget to put your own things away as well. The way parents act and behave is the best guide to action for children.

8. Tell them about the alternatives, what they CAN do

To agree that something is impossible is always difficult, the forbidden fruit is sweet. But, if you sweeten the pill and show that he can, it will be easier for the child to agree with you. You can’t draw on wallpaper, but on this Whatman paper you can. You can’t beat your brother, but if you are upset and anger overwhelms you, you can beat the pillow.

9. Notice your child's good behavior and praise him for it.

Often, parents notice only when the child is behaving badly. If this is the only chance for a child to attract the attention of a parent, then be sure that he will use it more than once. Do you want to change the situation? Praise and approve of everything that the child does well, as he really wants to see your love and attention.

Many parents are faced with the fact that the child ceases to obey them. And at the same time, it is very difficult for parents to understand the true reason for such behavior. Moreover, they have no idea how to influence or correct such a situation. Consider a banal example from life. The child, having played enough with his own toys, does not want to take them away after the game. A typical and expected reaction on the part of parents in this case will be one in which they will definitely express their indignation, indignation to the child, or even show irritation. However, it is not possible to teach a child to obey in this way.

It is better to look for other methods and approaches to it. Try to offer your child help by tidying up the room together and putting all the toys away. The child will definitely remember such an offer of help and appreciate this behavior of the parents. When the next time a similar situation arises again, the child will already take the initiative to help you. You don't have to treat your child as an absolute idiot. He is, though small, but still an independent person. And it is quite common for him, like his parents, to experience irritation. Such a reaction will be especially likely if the parents force him to do something through force. For this reason, the task of the parent will be to present their own demands to the children's attention with maximum gentleness.


To teach a child to obey, you should take into account such recommendations. Try not to give free rein to your own negative emotions. If any particular behavior of your child begins to annoy you, then do not give vent to your irritation. This will not ensure unquestioning obedience on the part of your child. After all, it is easiest to blame and shout at a small person. But to try to figure out the true reason why the child behaves this way, in fact, not all of the parents can. In order for the child to obey you, it is important not to create restrictions on his freedom. Do not seek to set rigid boundaries or limits for the child. Moreover, do not infringe on his physical activity. If the child wants to, let him run and jump to his heart's content. So he will create a stock of positive emotions. Play together as often as possible. After all, as a result of such a pastime, you will begin to understand your child better. The more time you spend in joint communication, for jokes and fun entertainment, the higher your authority will be in the eyes of the child. It is through games that you can unobtrusively clarify with your child the aspects that concern you regarding behavior. Parents must initially have a lot of patience.

Getting a child to obey is not an easy task. It is also necessary to give the child time so that he sincerely believes in your location. It is possible to take a child away from constant leprosy and instill in him great perseverance by developing his abilities. Any child has abilities, you just need to be able to recognize them in a timely manner. The child himself often demonstrates in practice a propensity for something. Parents can only support children's endeavors in everything. Oddly enough, but obedient are most often those of the children whose parents do not skimp on praise. Think about how often you give your child praise. It is not difficult for many parents to express dissatisfaction with their child for any reason, but they rarely praise for the facts of obedience and good behavior, or even completely forget to do it.

However, it is precisely in this way that obstacles are created for the development in a child of such of the necessary qualities as healthy self-confidence. Only when the exemplary behavior of the child will not be ignored, but will be encouraged, will he himself strive to be praised by his parents. In order for your child to listen to you, change the tone in which you communicate with him, but first try to listen to yourself. If all you do is torment your child with constant moralizing, do not miss the opportunity to express irritation to him, or speak to him in raised intonations, then this cannot lead to obedience. Talk to your child with a calm voice.

Even at the most peak moments, when the child does not want to obey, a calm tone will be more effective than reproaches. A child is more likely to give up aggressive behavior if he is imbued with your kind and calm tone. Thus, he himself will begin to calm down. In order for the child to be obedient, psychologists recommend paying more attention to him. From a psychological point of view, naughty behavior is often evidence of a lack of parental attention, which is very acutely experienced by the child. Therefore, parents should not deprive the child of their participation in his affairs. Ask your child more about what he likes from hobbies or interests. Let him share with you his own opinion on various issues. You can also ask him for advice from time to time. So the need to seek obedience from the child will disappear by itself, and the child will begin to please you with his good and exemplary behavior.