How to survive parting if we work together. What can not be done after the beloved person left. Characteristic symptoms of depression

25.07.2019

They say love can withstand everything. If the feelings are strong and sincere - they do not interfere with a large distance or time. Our grandmothers, accomplishing their husbands to war, holy believed that even if with their warriors something would happen, love will remain in their hearts forever: waited for years, believed that they would come back, loved.

If you remember the story, there were few ways to contact your beloved: from the front came military cards, letters triangles and news from acquaintances. Sometimes they walked very long or lost.

But today life dictates our rules on which we are sometimes obliged to someone (and sometimes a long time) is spoiled with your loved ones. The reasons may be a lot - this is the work, business trips, housing, problems of parents or other relatives. Or maybe you just got acquainted and, living in different cities, decide after a while to reunite?.

What to do in separation?

The first time to live apologize is very difficult. You actually fall out of the usual rhythm of life, do not feel the heat of your favorite hands, do not hear a familiar voice, polish tips. And nothing you can replace one who you were looking for. I want to cry at night, lower your hands, forget about everything around and wait for the Westa from him, the only one.

For many separation, it happens so heavy that can lead to a protracted depression And, as a result, diseases. And therefore, take care of your moral well-being.

Abstract

Do not dwell on your feelings, your "temporary misfortune", constantly regret yourself. Think about your second half. After all, he is also experiencing. And, perhaps, he is all falling out of the hands no less than yours.

Take care of business

Load yourself to professional activities or deal with the affairs that have long been "dusting" on your desktop. Try to not allow the slightest error in production matters, because now you have more free time. Show your professionalism to the authorities - maybe you will be brought to the personnel reserve or will increase in office. Then it will be than boasting your beloved when you meet.

Take care

License with a loved one - no reason to forget about friends. In a marriage life, sometimes it is not enough time for communication with friends. So it appeared the reason to catch up. Go with friends to the beach, in the museum, to a concert, to the club. It makes no sense to set up yourself, as if you're "tear away away from her husband," you feel like that you will cast pain from separation.

Attention! If such a kind of rest (clubs, discos) is unacceptable for your couple - do not play with fire. Come up with a simplified version - a bachelorette party with girlfriends, care and communication with younger, communication with colleagues. We do not advise "fight" with longing waste, crocodile tears, use artificial "simulators of joy" - alcohol, tobacco, drugs and a lot of coffee.

Find a hobby

Take care how long ago dreamed, or remember earlier favourite buisness, which had to be quit for any other reasons. When you meet with your loved one, you can pleasantly please him and loved ones made by crafts, paintings, compositions.

If you wanted to jump with a parachute or jumping, do not deny yourself the pleasure. You will also be boasting before your half. And perhaps he wants to divide with you new passion.

Also well deliver from negative thoughts foreign language courses, Courses on musical instruments and advanced training courses.

Take yourself

Visit the hairdresser, cosmetologist, pick up a new style in clothes. Changing the appearance is always useful. Sports events (running, swimming, yoga, Fitness) with a frequency 2 times a week, save from depressive thoughts and help look better. Do not forget about Morning Charging.

Relax

Reconnect if time allows time. Caring for two people is more pleasant, but harder. You have temporarily worries. Rest and enjoy the rest. The more you relax, the better you look when you meet.

How to be near your loved one, being at a distance

1. Before leaving the partner, place your joint photo or your photo on his computer desktop. Find out in advance what he likes more, and choose it. You can also put your overall photo in the framework on the desktop or place on any other prominent place.

How to survive separation with your loved one

2. Try not to change the day of the day to which you are accustomed to, living together. Some things try to do at the same time, if you have the opportunity.

Arrange in advance about:

joint Sunday watching a movie (on Skype or each in your cinema), you can discuss the plot in the course or after the session,
joint listening to music - the one that you really like, and the one that brings the most pleasant memories of the events of your life,
read together Skype books or send each other links to books, excerpts from works that have most affected,
discuss your successes and achievements Learn problems, empathize, advise how before. If you used to meet sunsets and dawns, it can also be done by communication. Arrange a joint shopping trip, if you always liked to do this together: advise on the phone about purchases, share photos of shopping. Make joint purchases by choosing online stores.

3. The epistolary genre has recently become very popular. More often send cute messages, postcards, passionate confessions. It helps even the most serious couples to maintain the warmth of the relationship.

4. Wisisten pleasant dreams through SMS or calls.

5. Demonstrate your creative beginning:

make each other photocollages if you can. Edit and place a photo. Come up with the idea of \u200b\u200bediting: Who do you see your half - a bold knight or the conqueror of snow vertices? Or maybe you want to portray you two on the background of the dream city?
if you know how to make a video characterizing your love , From the photo and video of you, where you spend time together.
get a common blog, your website or a common e-mail, the password from which both know. There you can place your notes, reminders, lists, photos, videos, postcards for holidays.

6. Play together in online game. In advance, come up with punishment / phantom for the loser. What will this be the task? How does he / she fulfill him - now or when meeting?

7. Organize Skype Date. Remove in the apartment, spread the candles everywhere, dress up in your favorite clothes. Try virtual sex, If it is acceptable for a pair.

8. Give gifts and nice little things - money on the phone, order a gift to your beloved via the Internet and send him. You can also send a gift through friends who go in his direction, men girls can order flowers through the relevant sites.

9. Leave quarrels "for later." Many in themselves know how hard they are experiencing misunderstanding - what to say about quarrels. And if someone else ceases to respond to SMS or calls, you don't know what to think in a panic. And there is no possibility to come, see what happened - in which sentiment the interlocutor is offended or just busy. There is no possibility to look into the eyes, hug, which particularly helps in resolving disputes.

It is believed that if two is always near, they have no opportunity to test their feelings. People, sometimes living apart, in this regard are more lucky. After all, separation affects love like the wind on fire: weak spark goes out, and the strong flame is revealed even more.

And how do you worry the separation with your beloved?

Olga East
psychologist

Parting with your loved one is the strongest emotional test for everyone. Especially if the relations were long and they had hopes for them. Perhaps you planned a joint future with this person, were strongly attached psychologically. And at one moment everything collapsed. How to survive this difficult period of life? How to get on your feet after such a blow and want a life again? How much time should pass to re-learn to believe the opposite sex, and can be able to build new healthy relationships? We will try to figure it out in order.

Step 1. Acceptance and awareness of what happened

Most often, people parted because someone from the pair accepted such a decision. In other cases, parting is not justified. No living conditions, temporal separation and other reasons can not solve two loving people if they really love.

If one person in a pair decided to break up, worried both. But more emotional shock is experiencing the one who threw. The man who decided to part slowly went to this, day after day to realize the correctness of his decision. And the person who was put before the fact, as if the eared cold water was drilled. He feels pain, misunderstanding, anger, guilt, insult, love.

If you were thrown, try to understand and take it. If you even love your partner a little, leave him the right of such a decision. Do not cling to the endless hope to return it. Of course, it is possible through time, you will change and meet again. Perhaps you, changing, you can build new full-fledged relationships. But now, there is no reference path. Do not detect yourself as requesses and plenty back. Keep your own dignity. If this person does not want to be with you, if he did not understand and did not see your soul, why do you need him? Release it. If this happened, then the highest strength will protect you for a more worthy person.

Take what happened and find the strength to go further. Let the decision of your partner be the biggest mistake. And in your power to collect forces and walk forward in your life path. With high headed head.

Step 2. How not to deal with yourself

Most people after parting with a loved one are beginning to distort themselves with thoughts: "I am guilty in everything if I didn't do that, he would not leave me," "No one else will love me," I will no longer experience such love. " I will not marry and I do not face children, I will not have a family and a loved one, I don't need anyone. " All these thoughts are very exaggerated and there is not even a hundredth of the truth.

Typically, such obsessive thoughts are born in young heads, which is 14-17 years old. Young people are susceptible to youthful maximalism, and it seems to them that these relationships are the main event in their lives. Believe me, in your life there will be more than one such unfinished story. And after a series of failures, when you learn to appreciate the main thing, you will meet a person of your life.

Will not believe? Look at yourself in the mirror. You certainly have a beautiful figure, a pretty face, clean skin, beautiful hair, kind soul. Or maybe you are tasty cook or play a violin? Well, do you really have no advantages for which you could evaluate? Soberly take a look at yourself. You have something to love. And let the opposite sex are built into a row to earn your attention. Be sure you find your happiness, and this moment you just need to survive.

Step 3. Release the situation and forgive the person

Anger, aggression and resentment destroy a person. If you have been involved in self-yourself, it will not lead to anything good. From bad emotions, people are ill and aging, do you need it?

Forgive your former partner. Let all his past deeds were terrible, let him be treasure, deceptions and drunkenness - release him. If everything was so bad, thank the fate for the fact that she took you from this man and allowed to live a full life. Mentally thank the person for all the good things that was between you, sorry and let him go with the world.

It happens that many women, digging in the causes of what happened, consider only themselves to be guilty. Changed, because I was not enough good and sexy with him, deceived, because I did not want to disturb me, I drank, because he needed to relax after a hard working day. Soberly take a look at things. Why do you justify it?! Remember what feelings you have experienced when he drunk poured to you. Remember that you felt when I learned that he was with another woman. Do you want to repeat these sensations?! In no case! Do not blame yourself. A decent guy will love his girlfriend, even if she is shaggy in home clothes. Present unity shower occurs at the emotional level. And if you have no such connection, you do not need to scold yourself. Thank the highest forces for giveing \u200b\u200byou another chance for happiness.

Step 4. Distractive

This is the most difficult step that needs to be performed at least through force. Give yourself a few days to "chase". If this is not done, emotions at one fine moment will simply turn out. Give yourself a few days to come to yourself, shine, shout. Do these days all you want. However, when the days of "grief" will be held, try to take yourself in your hands and distract from the current situation.

Work, study. Depending on the main sphere of activity, try to immerse yourself in study or work. Put yourself a goal - fully secure yourself yourself, if there are children - put them on your feet, buy a car or apartment. Near this dream and put everything on its execution. Intensive work or study will distract you from unpleasant thoughts and help forget.
Friends. With the advent of relations, many people lose touch with their friends, family members, close. Perhaps the time has come to return the warm relationship? Meet friends again, go with your family shopping and movies, dedicate the time to younger brothers and sisters. Understand that there are many people in the world who are still loved and appreciated.
Sport. Everyone knows that physical stages are able to get rid of unnecessary thoughts. Take care of sports - it will not only distract you from suffering, but also tighten your figure. Intensive sports exercises allow the body to produce joy and satisfaction hormones. If there is no possibility to go to sports mugs or fitness, just run, walk on foot. Only at the same time you do not need to allow intrusive thoughts to overcome you. Take for a walk or jogging headphones with invigorating music - it will raise you mood. And the performance of power exercises in the gym will help literally splash out with physical strength all your offense and bitterness.
Hobbies. Remember that you lacked time during the relationship. Perhaps you have long wanted to read some book, start drawing or swimming, learn how to drive a car. If your former partner has not supported you in your endeavors, support yourself yourself when there are no more restrictions in the form of a disgruntled look or ban.
Look for positive moments. "There is no way without good" - says the famous proverb. If you stay without a partner, it does not mean that you are left alone. Perhaps this is just freedom? Look for advantages in all the events of your life. Remember what you could not do when you had a loved one? Perhaps he did not approve of your later meetings with friends or forbade you to be in male companies? Live freely, visit the male striptease with girlfriends, flirt with men. Feel again that you are welcome, charming and beautiful.
Wedge Wedge. Of course, it is not worth the first day after parting to dip in new relationships. But Flirt and Easy Passion will definitely go to you. Learn to re-look at men, Kakecatte, play, live!

These simple tips will help you distract a little. And try to maximize your temporary space so that you do not have time for thoughts, saliva, snot and tears. Learn languages, improve your body, travel. Not a minute of rest!

Step 5. Do not catch up

This is a very important step that does not allow many to step up this grief and leaves people in suspended. Throw out or distribute all items and gifts that remind you of a former partner. If you feel sorry to throw away, for example, gold jewelry, sell them, and buy something necessary for the reversed money, for example, a boxing pear! Without a doubt, you will be drum down with pleasure!

No matter how difficult, delete all the tearful songs that remind you of "about him." At least for a while stop watching lipsticks about love - you will certainly spend parallels. Do not store common photos, you do not need to visit those places that were considered "yours." Turn this page of your life and start living again!

Life is Zebra. Infinite series of good and bad life moments. If parting happened to you - it means that it was necessary. It means that life is ready to present you an even more valuable and expensive gift. They say if the happiness is big, it means that it goes with small chambers. Wait a little, very soon it will be applied to you. The main thing is not to be sad and live on!

Video: how to survive parting

If parting has become inevitable and both partners decided to go for this step, then, most likely, the question will be: "How to continue to live and what to do?". Glutter is a concept familiar to everyone. Family psychologists argue that a person subconsciously considers as a loss. At the same time, experiencing this loss, a person passes through certain stages of parting.

First - denial of reality

The leaning beloved cannot accept and believe that he broke out, and that separation is the final and irreparable. He still builds plans and sacred believes that the gap is only a stupid mistake and all sooner or later will again become as before. It is thinking that the second half will call and say that everything will be fine and they are together again. The first stage can last from three to five weeks to one and a half years.

The second is anger on a loved one

The steps of the experimentation of parting are not without anger, because the realization that the beloved person betrayed and threw, cannot but carry this negative feeling. Remarking is gradually moving into aggression, and the accusation of reluctance is heard to the ex-partner. The angry manifestations are purely individual, so some miss the second stage and immediately go to the third.

Third - bargaining and hope for the best

Trying to resume the past relationship, a person begins to bargain with himself or a former partner. For example, surviving stages a man puts a certain period of time (interval), during which he will have a chance to reconcile and resume relations with the partner. Creating such a temporary framework, he tries to cope with separation and get used to a new state - loneliness.

Fourth - depression and apathy

Awareness of your helplessness, and together with it and depression comes when a person understands that it is pointless to deny the separation and nothing to fix anything. Negative thoughts gradually lead to despair, depression, apathy, insomnia, sadness. All these states are a completely natural reaction of the body for stress. Especially acute they can take place in the fourth and second parting stage in women.

Fifth - life from pure sheet

Life continues, gradually a person forgets old resentment, meets new people, ceases to live past. Opened second breathing, and with it new plans, strength and hopes for a bright future appear.

Family psychologists claim that the process of experiencing separation can last both three months and three years, it all depends on the nervous system of a particular person.

Factors and reasons

Parting stages depend on many reasons and factors. Perhaps the hardest here is nostalgia: at any moment, no matter how a person is happy, he can plunge into memories again. And if one is experiencing these nostalgic moments just with a smile, then others again envelop despair, anxiety, sadness, regret and even anger.

Survive separation with your beloved is very difficult. Parting is unbearable in what makes changes to the already familiar, established lifestyle. A lot also depends on the one who became the initiator of separation: if it offered an ex-partner, then the sense of inferiority and humiliation of their own dignity is added. The thoughts that the beloved man neglected and betrayed, knock out of the usual life rut.

The most important thing is all 5 stages of parting, try not to linger in any of them more than two to four weeks. It is very important to put a point in the relationship, stop thinking about them, start a new happy life.

The faster the man will release his beloved will cease to call him, write, see, the faster and less painfully the separation stage will take place. You should not be afraid of a new life and new relationship, trying on them sad templates of the past: letting go, sooner or later you will gain such elegant relief and mental freedom.

If it does not work out of depression, psychologists advise the analysis of relationships, while it is important to recall not only negative, but also positive moments, as well as what led to parting. It is very important to draw conclusions and prevent the repetition of errors in the future.

The unwillingness of the former partner support friendships speaks of a strong insult that he does not allow him to behave differently. In this case, it is worth thinking about what was wrong in the relationship.

With a man

The steps of parting in women are characterized by more pronounced emotionality and length. There are cases when the weak floor representatives were depressed after separation of more than ten years.

Psychologists advise girls in a particularly difficult situation to wear a mask of a successful lady, bother this image and try to experience as many positive emotions as possible, being strong and independent.

Acting on this principle and, as it were, living a difficult life period for another person, you can not only restore your mental balance, but also to gain a new partner who can heal all soul wounds.

Another important factor of happiness is praise and admiration for themselves. After all, it is no secret that it is quite difficult to love yourself again, experiencing separation. Love for yourself is an item without which the fifth stage cannot pass.

Forgiveness and adoption

A very important point in the second stage of parting in men is the forgiveness of the former beloved and awareness that it also has the right to personal happiness and life with another person. During this period, it is worth avoiding negative memories, discussions with friends and especially calls and messages with unpleasant text and reproach.

In order to survive this heavy stage, you need to mentally let go of your former partner. Do not humiliate and do not try to return it. After all, even if he agrees to the resumption of communication, then most likely will do it out of pity.

The longer the loving union was, the hardest to survive the separation and go through all the stages of parting. Psychology in this case offers a lot of trainings capable of helping to solve the problem and do not block into themselves. For example, separation is a chance for a long-standing dream, the ability to change the work, move, start a new life. With a rupture of relations, no matter how sad it sounds, it appears more time, which can be taken by visiting museums, fairs, cinemas, theaters, sign up for various sections and master classes. The main thing about this period is not to sit at home and do not succumb to despair.

The longer, the worse

Survive separation after long-term relationships is always more difficult than the breaking of fleeting novels. In such a situation, psychologists advise not to despair and look at the situation under a different angle. Separation is a chance to start life from a clean sheet, to carry out everything that it was too impossible to decide before. Failure in personal life is to achieve heights in your career and become a real professional. This is travel time and desires. The ability to make a children's dream, to do dancing, learn how to cook a beautiful soap or collect aircraft model.

Having experienced a gap with a loved one, the main thing is not to fall into the despondency and not allow obsessive thoughts about loneliness. After all, communication with relatives, friends and colleagues cannot fill in that heat, understanding and security, which was before. As it were, it would be interesting to man with the interlocutor, in the soul he understands that such pleasure, as when communicating with a loved one, will no longer be.

Gap with a beloved woman

Men are experiencing separation more acute than women. Yes, in everyday life, a strong half of humanity is characterized by exposure, will of the will and hardness of character. But when it comes to breaking relationships, especially if he occurs suddenly, without reason and on the initiative of a woman, emotions are very acute. It is especially difficult to survive separation emotionally dependent on the second half of men. After all, addiction, as psychologists consider, does not appear from love for their second half, but from hatred and desire to fill the emptiness inside with compliments and pleasant words.

Usually men are stingy on emotions and prefer to keep everything in themselves, which is why when adrenaline in the blood is shrinking, and the rage is trying to get outward, it is likely that the steps after parting in men will be accompanied by:

accepting alcoholic beverages in an attempt to drown out pain;
exercise sports, sometimes until the body is completely exhausted;
disorderly sexual bonds (a person is approved at the expense of others);
trips by car or motorcycle at high speed.

Family psychologists argue that the strong floor is more acute to respond to a negative occurring in relations, and is due to the fact that the men's psyche in such a situation is more susceptible than women's.

Love for yourself

Stages in men and women are approximately the same. In this difficult period, the main thing is to love again and learn to respect yourself, because we treat themselves, and others treat us.

Having loved and having accepted himself, a person will be able to live on and meet who he will share his feelings with.

Only after time it can be understood that the gap was necessity and new relationship is much stronger and happier than the previous ones.

In order to go through all the stages of parting as painlessly as possible, psychologists recommend:

enjoy every moment and hurry to fill every second of your life meaning, interesting events and new people;
separation - this is what every person passes through, so sometimes it is just worth gaining strength and suffer;
stop looking for shortages and assume that someone is better and more worthy than you;
in no case do not write, do not call and not pursue the former lover;
delete data from social networks and phone book, the data of the former or former, do not follow his / her life and not communicate with the common familiar;
do not stay alone, attend as much interesting places as possible;
sign up for fitness, pool or sports club;
learns something new;
make interesting acquaintances, do not give up dates;
as much time to pay interesting and important things;
change the image, buy new clothes, perfume, cosmetics, accessories.

The above-mentioned tips are not only very simple and practical, but also effective.

On numerous forums, you can also find interesting advice on how to survive the parting stages.

To solve this problem, users advise to adopt the following techniques:

If the separation was at the initiative of the former, do everything so that he regretted that he threw you.
If the relationship rolls down, break out the first / first with your half.
You can behave as soon as possible when a meeting with common friends, they should not know that separation worries you.
Stop feeling a victim.
Get in charity.
Learn to draw or sculpt from clay.
Go away as quickly as possible all stages of separation.
Learn the truth about your relationship from the part, perhaps in the future it will help you to build a happy union.
Change the setting, start traveling.
Stretch yourself. Especially this Council applies to a strong sex, because it is known that the parting stages in men are much harder than in women.
Make conclusions and do not repeat your errors in the future.

It is important to remember that the views on relationships in men and women are very different. And therefore, only the Union in which both partners pursue the same goal (for example, to create a family) and are ready to listen to each other at any time and find a solution to the problem together.

The advice of a professional psychologist given in this article will help you survive negative moments when parting or breaking relationships with your loved one.

1) This is not the end of the world - everything is changed in our world. This applies to any relationship. Even the most stable pairs can dispeach.

Sometimes, we are watching a picture of ideal romantic relationships. The guy cares about the girl, she replies to him. All surrounding admire the beautiful and gentle feelings of young people. And then in a month or a couple of months, they break up - conflicts arise, quarrels, disagreements. This example suggests that we need to have a clear understanding of the unstable and volatile life.

Do not build plans in your head for eternal relationships, just enjoy the current moment. Even the strongest wall can collapse. If you realize the first advice of psychologists, it is possible to significantly ease the period after parting. You will soon take everything as it is.

2) Most likely, you have a hobby. Take a favorite thing, completely immerse yourself in it. Improve it.

If you happen to survive a heavy gap, employment will only benefit. No wonder they say that you need to plunge into work with your head to forget about everything. And if this work will enjoy you, then you will completely forget about the not very pleasant event in your life.

Tips for a psychologist relating to how to survive parting with your loved oneare based on the fact that a person is necessary, first of all distract. You can write a collection of poems, to realize a long-minded business plan to reach the peaks in your loved one. Thanks to its hobbies, you will not lose your inner charge of energy, but, on the contrary, be satisfied with new emotions, strengthen your mental health and change the look at the current situation.

Gradually, the hobby will not only help survive parting with a loved one, but will benefit, perhaps even monetary. You will become more independent, confident. No more details will lead you to the panic state, and the gray working days will change their color to the bright and catchy. Having your favorite business, you have a personal life road. You will be independent.

3) Do not live in sake of relationships, do not sacrifice yourself. Never.

Life is overflowed with a variety of occupations, emotions, impressions, daily can be a pleasure and meaning in the surrounding world.

Unfortunately, there is a sustainable opinion that the whole life path should consist of certain stages. Collapse with a hut road comparable to the obeying. But understand that relations and beloved people are just a part of your life. Yes, of course, this is a significant part and very important. But not defining!

Modern films show us implausible stories about love, endless relationship, happy pastime. In reality, everything is wrong. And thanks to the fairy tales, films, TV shows, books in young people make up the impression that eternal love exists that each of us is destined to meet their half and that mutual feelings will always be bright and eliminating. If a similar thought was covered in the head, then the tips of the psychologist are simply necessary.

Many people go to work or study, forcing themselves to do it. They every minute think about how to return home under the wing of her beloved husband or beloved wife. They represent that only next to someone you can feel happy and necessary. Only thanks to someone you can mean something. But do not like to be like such people.

You are an independent independent personality. You yourself are led by your life, and therefore with your happiness. You are happiness. Do not bind it a wonderful feeling with a person or subject. After a while there will be a quarrel, you will stop understanding each other, here's an illusory idea of \u200b\u200bthe ideal relationship and collapse. And it will be very difficult to recover. You will torment the question "How to survive parting with your loved one?".

This feature is inherent in most girls. In addition to the established standard thinking, nature contributes to this. It so happened that biologically in the thoughts of every girl, girls, women prevail family directions. Become a faithful wife, a good mother - this is what all the representatives of the finest are thinking about.

Of course, this is a rather important question. But it is not necessary to cling to relationships and in every man to see the potential father of your child. After all, if the girl convince himself that he, her beloved and the only one, and the man would take and leave, the psyche will be broken. Perhaps it will take not only psychological assistance, it may be discussed about drug treatment.

4) If still the gap happened, follow your emotions. Do not allow life to stop you please.

Believe me, the gloomy look and sleepless nights will not lead your appearance in order, but frequent walks with friends in the fresh air and sports are just the same on the contrary.

A depressive state can be your constant companion. And over time, you will not cope with self-sections. You will be annoyed such trifles such as sudden rain, torn off the button. You will break up on your loved ones, and sometimes on unfamiliar people. No need to bring yourself to such a position.

There are examples when men are not knowing how to survive parting with your loved one, went to the monastery or simply did not go into people. Locking from around the world, you can not find a way out. No need to make tragedy. Otherwise, you can be in a hospital with serious diseases. After all, it is from the health of the nervous system that there are certain diseases. Think about the consequences!

5) Do not seem immediately new relationships. Frequently found error - search for a new partner.

That, it would seem, the door behind his beloved man closed. All over, the relationship came the collapse. And what do many do? Instantly with a shiver in the hands, with the Spray on the forehead, they begin to scroll in the mind: "I need a new guy (new girl)."

This is not a priority task that needs to be addressed. First of all, you analyze your condition. Inside ourselves, most likely, you will feel some emptiness, loss, drierness, lack of joy, depression. So why do you start new relationships that will be artificially created? You are unlikely to feel craving for a new partner.

To start, disperse. All the advice of psychologists on this topic are inclined to ensure that the dialogues with the inner I are significantly helped at such moments. Do not be afraid to ask yourself and respond to them.

Do not look for new feelings. Jumping from one relationship to other is unlikely to help, except for a short period of time. All you have to do after gap - analysis of your condition and love for yourself. Decide for yourself once and for all that you are worthy of a good life, warm and mutual relationship, pleasant emotions.

Help yourself find harmony. To do this, accept the situation, do not try to keep up with the past and believe in the best future. Vera is the chief assistant. Faith and love for yourself.

6) No need to deal with past memories, soul wounds.

Our brain is designed in such a way that the memories constantly arise as a result of any associations: smells, melodies, tastes. When you do not understand how to survive parting with your loved one, everything is reminded about the old relationship. Each twig, every flower, each bench has a connection with the past. And thoughts are filled with nostalgic notes, you again return to a sad state, a lump is formed in the throat and it is difficult to breathe.

This feature can be compared with the old cracked plate. As soon as the melody comes to a damaged place, it all starts first. The sounds are becoming similar to a spray, a peak, but the brain tirelessly continues to put a paved plate.

Maybe this way, nature is joking over our emotions and experiences? Who knows. But you need to deal with similar thoughts. Just rate the whole situation. Just understand that there will be no better from memories to anyone or anyone. Do not attempt to correct the old record, it is no longer done new.

Stand up for a new way confident and firmly. Throw off the laid plate far into the past. Do not ignore the advice of psychologists, because with the help of each of them you will be easier to cope with any difficulties.

7) Realize the fact that the relationship has ended. Do not look back. Do not try to return the past.

If you do not let go of the former relationship, they will always interfere with the construction of future. It happens that a girl or a guy, not knowing how to survive parting with a loved one, they hope to restore the pair. The faster you decide for yourself that the possibility of restoring any feelings is absent, the faster you will be put in order. Thoughts about the way back should not fill out your life.

To make it easier to take such a step, disassemble all the details that prevent you from forgetting the partner. Throw off all reminders about relationships: photos, gifts, clothes.

8) Do not expect assistance and care from the world around the world.

You are completely independent. It is from you that your current situation in society depends on you, your workplace, attitudes towards you other people. No need to live with unreal dreams and plans. Just enjoy today's moment. After all, no one knows that it prepares the universe for us even tomorrow. So you can plan if it is not known what happens?

If you are independent, then you absolutely do not need the one who will instruct you, convince or order. You yourself are the owner of your life, dispose of your actions and build your personal plans.

An invisible thread that can be formed between two people, over time, has the ability to increase to a thick durable collar that does not allow to move along its will. Do you like the life of a puppet? Unlikely.

Do not need anyone in anyone. Do not expect the world to present you pleasant surprises and give gifts. Even if you are confident in the success of your business, do not talk about this to anyone. Do not need some advice and approval. It is useless to ask someone about your future.

All psychologist tips say that in case of leaving your partner's life, you should not panic. It only means that you are stronger, and why do you need a weak partner? Next to such a person you will not grow. You go down to its level. The lack of development leads to a decrease in interest in life, to his beloved business, to friendly meetings.

Love addiction has never led to something good. Do not be part of the relationship, be an independently formed personality.

9) If a gap with a partner happened in your life, leave the next six months to adapt.

This period is simply necessary for the full recovery of the mental state. In order to re-start confidentially to other people.

Having encountered a good person in the first six months after parting with the previous partner, do not attempt to build a family with him. Best of all, if any serious steps at this time you will not take. Also do not require anything important from a new acquaintance or acquaintance.

Try using communication with benefits for yourself. Rejoice in life. Laugh and have fun.

Very important point: your favorite person is not your property. It is attempts to assign all the spare time partner often leads to negative consequences. Instead, just be happy and give happiness around yourself. Believe me, a person who next to you will receive joyful emotions, will definitely replicate reciprocity. Just remember, these emotions should be sincere, and not talked and invented.

As practice shows, the advice of psychologists relating to how to survive parting with a loved one, they say that support is the basis of long and successful relationships. Support the partner in all endeavors, do not laugh at its failures and losses, help in all matters. In the interests of a loved one. Share also with your experiences, interests, thoughts.

Remember, if you need a person, then only right. This means that you can experience a pleasant longing during short-range separation that you can miss to communicate with your loved one or your beloved. It is important to want to be together, but do not depend entirely and completely.

Each solution in your relationship should be common. That is, when solving important issues, listen to the opinion of the partner. And to tell him his thoughts. Come to the compromise, it is very important.

10) Ask a question: "Are my feelings about relationships or is it illusions?"

If you are tormented by a question: "How to survive parting with your loved one?" The following advice of psychologists can come to the rescue. Use the internal dialog. Just talk with yourself. Do not be afraid to do this, no one will consider you crazy. This is just one of the types of self-analysis.

Spend a parallel between the reality and the feelings of your inner world. Look at your former partner. He seems to you perfect. All in it corresponds to the best indicators. Both the figure and appearance, and mental qualities. Now look at him through the eyes of another person.

Just forget those feelings that arose next to the second half. Do not be distracted by the memories of warm touches, gentle words, joyful meetings. You absolutely notice that there is nothing special in this person. He is the same as many others. He has an ordinary face, ordinary body. There is no unique shine in the eyes.

This is a long-known method in psychology, which helps dispel drawn images and get rid of invented additions to the personality of his former lover or beloved.

11) Love yourself with all the advantages and with all the shortcomings.

Why are gaps with close to you so heavy? Because all of your nature is tied to the emerging feeling. You begin to get used to a stable state. And in case of parting, you are experiencing deep loss, longing and sadness.

Output one - you should always put yourself in first place. Take yourself. And you will see how easier you will live. And this is not only relating a love relationship. You will be easier to refer to working moments, to important events, to failure. You will start to come faster to the right solution and will find a way out of any situation faster.

12) Love to yourself will deliver you to get rid of dependence.

You do not need no one else for self-realization, for the feeling of happiness, for a prosperous life. Thanks to this, you will find harmony with the world, with the universe. You will reveal your internal reserves, and people around you will start experiencing more respect for you.

Friends, these simple formulas solving the problem "How to survive parting with your loved one" will become real assistants for you. Just let the advice of psychologists in your life, do not ignore them, and your head will be cleaned of unnecessary trash, which accompanies any gap.

Alain Golovin

Interesting

No one leaves for no reason. There should always be a good reason to break the relationship, especially if it is a thoughtful adult union, not a school passion. The breaking of the sorry, after another quarrel in 90% of cases ends with the reunification of the love couple. But how to survive parting with a loved one psychologist tips They will help to figure out if the separation is inevitable.
The rupture of the relationship is a well-thought-out decision taken on the "sober head" by weighing everything "for" and "against".

Errors in relations

Very often, the thrown does not understand the true cause parting with a loved one. It can be said that two who stayed together were very far from each other and did not realize that they had serious mistakes in relations. For one union, it seemed to "unearthly happiness", and for the other "Ground Adom". Unfortunately, one who does not hear does not notice his partner or it is simply not interested, one day alone may remain.

How are the parting in the relationship of men and women

As a rule, women are more prone to family preservation. For her influencing factors for continuing relations, family, children, familiar life, comfort and much more than their own happiness are played. The man is opposite, much easier survives parting with a loved oneHe is always open to experiments, inclined to adventures and do not mind try something different.

Therefore, it is the man more often acts as the initiator of the gap.

Let's break up

I heard only two words "let's break up," lead to misunderstanding, pain, tears, offended, humiliation and feelings of guilt ... those who at least once worried parting with a loved one with the advice of psychologistsor without, they can boldly call this period of life the hardest thing that was once earlier.
Care of the second half is a real psychological trauma. Often, in a pair, where conflicts occur almost every day, it may seem that is the only right decision. But even under such circumstances, it is very hard to survive this stage of life. What then remains those who considered their couple close to ideal? Sometimes an abnormal partner cannot accept the gap and tries to glue the "broken bowl" and return any ways. beloved man. All actions are going through: Molbi, threats, hysterics. In fact, such tactics work with partners who were not going to leave (blackmail), and make it hardened for the sake of obtaining their benefits. In other situations, such a reaction is even more angry, forcing decisive actions, without leaving no chance to resume ties in the future.

Trying to find out who is to blame and why it happened, haunt, turn the phone, to persistently write letters to the mail. Under such circumstances, the persecution wants only to escape even further. At this moment you need to remember your own pride. Sometimes the outgoing think about their actions and return, only this happens only when an abandoned has a sense of self-esteem.
Close in yourself and leave reality. Often, it is the gap that opens the doors before real light feelings. Not in vain say: "When one door closes, another opens."
Stop watching yourself. To not happen, you should always look good and go ahead with a smile.
Revenge. In no case cannot be constructed the goats to the departed partner, call, upset his following relationships. Former only once again be convinced of the correctness of his actions and solving breaking the love alliance.
Talking nastiness to all those around the former beloved.
Trying to start a novel called a loved one. The saying "Wedge Wedge is embroodble" here is inappropriate. While there is no healing wound in the heart, other warm relationships do not build.

Feel pain, buy. Experiences will help heal heart wounds.
Search for any things that can distract from suffering: sport, work, reading, hobby.
Something to change in life or appearance: change the situation in the house or repaint the hair color.
Create: sign up for a dance group, start drawing or sculpt fakes.
Pamper yourself. Refresh the wardrobe, go after working in the pastry shop for your favorite cakes or just afford at home, in a relaxed atmosphere, to insulate a cup of freshly caught coffee with ice cream. The main thing in this case, not overdo it in order not to harm the figure.
Make good actions: help the orphanage, engage in volunteering, translate grandmother across the road. Good always has a positive effect and improves the mood.
Go on vacation or at least go to the forest, walk more, breathe fresh air.
Let go of a person. Perhaps it will be difficult, but over time, only memories will remain in the soul.

Finally

We brought psychologist tips - how to survive parting with your loved one. Whatever, any changes in life, even if you have to try to take perceive as an opportunity to open something unknown and gaining real happiness, naturally, having done a certain work on errors. After all, such situations help people assimilate life lessons and gain invaluable experience. Under any circumstances, the main thing is to try to keep respect for a former beloved person, and take his right to choose to live happily.