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How to cheer up a person: the simple secrets of a good relationship. How to cheer up your neighbor: encouraging phrases for all occasions

Good afternoon, dear readers! Everyone wants to be taken care of and supported in a difficult moment. When you are in a relationship, you always try to be a support for your loved one. Today I want to talk to you about how to cheer up a man. What to do when he quit or his depression dragged on and what exactly is better to avoid at such moments.

office problems

Difficulties in a man related to work are divided into two categories: he works too much or he has been sitting without work at all for a long time. If you are in the first situation, then you can not do without the article "". In the article I talk about the features of such men and what your support is like.

In my opinion, when a man has a job and he devotes a lot of time to it, this is much better than when he sits at home and does not even try to find a new occupation for himself. Therefore, I would like to focus on this issue.

To understand what tactics of behavior you choose, first you need to decide what type your unemployed man belongs to. After all, we all have a different attitude to problems and cope with crises in different ways.

The first option is a martyr. Such a man is always in a depressed mood and does not show any activity. He rarely leaves the house, prefers to watch TV shows or, which no longer bring such pleasure as before. If he spends time with you, he complains a lot.

He does not want to do household chores, they are boring and uninteresting for him. humiliate his dignity. Previously, he was in good shape, clear-cut, job competition, serious tasks. And now it's like the whole world has stopped.

With such a man, you need to act on specific examples. Did something good - well done! No matter how hard it is for you, no matter how much you want to switch from encouraging to sarcastic remarks - hold on. Remember all the good that this man did for you and do not stop being his support at this difficult moment.

The second option is an insecure activist. Such a guy shows a lot of activity, but the mood is more bad and depressed. With deeds, he is trying to plug the hole that was formed after the dismissal.

He can do all the chores around the house, just because he has to move and do something. Constant interviews that do not end with anything good and only spoil his mood even more. This man talks about work all the time.

Such a man is accustomed to quickly solve the problem. And he started looking for a job immediately. But the problem is that emotionally he is not yet ready for this. Hence the failures in interviews, he grabs everything in a row and only gets angrier when it doesn’t work out.

Try asking him how he would advise his friend, who is in the same situation as him, to do. Help him in his search, let him not grab every vacancy, but choose the one. Do a test interview at home so that he is ready and feels more confident (be sure to read and apply the recommendations from the article - How to prepare for an interview so that everything goes well).

The third option is a joker. Chic and high spirits, but there is absolutely no desire to look for a new job. This man can finally do all the things that he put off due to lack of time. He goes to relatives, goes in for sports or minor repairs around the house. He looks active, but this activity is in no way aimed at finding a new job.

If you remain silent and do not show in any way that the situation is annoying you, then this way you can live for a very long time. But remember that phrases like “let's talk”, “what are you thinking”, “I think you have problems” and so on repel men.

Try to approach from the other side. Tell us about your emotions and feelings, worries and fears. For example, offer to watch his favorite, and then discuss plans.

The fourth option is the controller. He's in a good mood, he's so active. Such a man can do advanced training or start studying a new topic. He will not get any job, maybe he has even turned down several offers. The problem with such a partner is that he does not say anything, he just says that everything is under control.

I want to offer you an article "". It contains many useful and practical tips.

What to do if your lover has been in a bad mood for a long time, nothing pleases him, he often gets sick, he doesn’t want anything and you feel that at such a pace he will soon fall into.

In such a situation, you need to understand how you can cheer him up. If he gets tired of the big digging and does not want to see anyone, then you need to give him time to be alone with himself, but show that you are always there and ready to provide all the necessary support.

If you know that friends have a beneficial effect, your man is charged with positive communication, then you should try to meet friends, maybe invite them home, or vice versa, get out of the four walls.

Believe it or not, board games can really lift your spirits. Invite a couple of close friends over for a monopoly night. May it be a fun and peaceful evening. Don't bring up serious topics, just take a break and relax. Maybe your boyfriend has a favorite board game from childhood?

You can make his dream come true. Find out about your partner's secret desire. For example, he has long wanted to go karting, watch all the parts of "Star Wars" in one evening, cook a huge pizza. Just don't push him too hard. Offer and see the response.

Walking is uplifting. You can try to drag your loved one outside. Of course, it is better to choose a day when the weather is good. Go to a place you haven't been before. And do not press on him with conversations.
Your care and affection may be excessive in an attempt to cheer up a man. Sometimes he wants to be alone with himself, think or do stupid things that distract him from all thoughts. Give him time to be alone.

What better not to do

Don't ask too many questions. This tactic only makes them more annoying and angry. Another phrase "how are you" can just drive a man crazy. Women prefer to cry, eat sweets or buy a new pair of shoes. And the man closes and tries to solve the problem. Give him time and show that you are there and always ready to listen, support and help. It will be much more useful and valuable.

Some women panic when a man experiences a crisis. They take over everything more, they begin to worry that he has fallen out of love, or he has another woman, or he, or a million other options. Calm down and mind your own business. Your panic will only make matters worse.

Another problem of a woman who does not know how to console her man is that she begins to try to save him. Do not do this. He is a man and must handle the situation on his own. The best tactic is to show confidence in him.
There is nothing worse than unsolicited advice.

Even if you are sure that you have a brilliant idea, do not tell your loved one about it. Your advice may be perceived as doubts about his ability to solve problems. If he asks for help and advice, then yes. In any other situation, keep the advice to yourself.

In no case should you reproach and blame your beloved. Like, you yourself are to blame, you will never cope, you can’t do anything, and so on. Now it’s hard for him, most likely, he doubts himself. In such a moment of vulnerability, your words can hurt him deeply and cause serious harm.

Cook him a delicious dinner, show that you are there, that you are confident in him, that you know that he can handle it.

Tell your story: what is happening with your loved one now, how are you trying to cheer him up, how does he react to your help? After all, every situation is different. So feel free to write to me and together we will find a way out of your situation.

Best wishes to you!

In life, we often face various obstacles. It can be job loss, illness, death of a family member, financial troubles. At such a moment, it is difficult for a person to find the strength in himself and move on. He so lacks support at this moment, a friendly shoulder, warm words. How to choose the right words of support that can really help a person in difficult times?

Expressions that should not be used

There are a number of familiar phrases that are the first to come to mind when you need to support someone. These words should not be spoken:

  1. Do not worry!
  1. Everything is formed! Everything will be fine!

At the moment when the world collapsed, it sounds like a mockery. A person is faced with the fact that he does not know how to solve his problem. He needs to figure out how to fix things. He is not sure that the situation will turn in his favor, and he will be able to stay afloat. So, how will the empty statement that everything will work out help? All the more blasphemous are such words if your friend has lost a loved one.

  1. Do not Cry!

Tears are the body's natural way of coping with stress. It is necessary to give a person a cry, to speak out, to give vent to emotions. He will feel better. Just hug and be there.

  1. No need to cite as an example people who are even worse

A person who has lost his job and has nothing to feed his family does not care that somewhere in Africa children are starving. Someone who has just learned about a serious diagnosis is not very interested in the statistics of deaths from cancer. It is also not necessary to give examples that relate to mutual acquaintances.

Trying to support a loved one, remember that at the moment he is morally depressed by his problem. It is necessary to carefully select expressions so as not to accidentally offend or touch on a sore subject. Let's find out how to support a person.

Words to Help You Get Through the Tipping Point

When our loved ones find themselves in difficult situations, we are lost and often do not know how to behave. But, the words spoken at the right time can inspire, console, restore faith in oneself. The following phrases will help to feel your support:

  1. We will get through this together.

In difficult times, it is important to know that you are not alone. Let a loved one feel that you care about his grief and that you are ready to share all the difficulties with him.

  1. I understand how you feel.

When you're in trouble, it's important to be heard. It's good to have someone around who understands you. If you have been in a similar situation, please tell us about it. Share your thoughts, emotions at that moment. But no need to tell how you heroically coped with the situation. Just make it clear that you were in your friend's place. But you survived it, and he can handle it too.

  1. Time will pass and it will get easier.

Indeed, this is a fact. We will not remember many of the troubles in life that happened to us a year or two ago. All troubles remain in the past. Sooner or later, we find a replacement for a betrayed friend or unhappy love. Financial problems are also gradually being solved. You can find a new job, pay off a loan, cure an illness or relieve its symptoms. Even the sadness of the death of a loved one passes with time. It is important to get over the moment of shock and move on.

  1. You've been in worse situations. Nothing, you did it!

Surely your friend has already encountered life's obstacles and found a way out of them. Remind him that he is a strong, courageous person and is able to solve any problem. Cheer him up. Show him that he can survive this difficult moment with dignity.

  1. You are not to blame for what happened.

Feeling guilty about what happened is the first thing that prevents you from taking a sober look at the situation. Let your loved one know that this is how the circumstances developed and that anyone else could be in his place. It makes no sense to look for those responsible for the trouble, you need to try to solve the problem.

  1. Is there something I can do for you?

Perhaps your friend needs help, but he does not know who to turn to. Or he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it. Take the initiative.

  1. Say that you admire his endurance and fortitude.

When a person is morally depressed by difficult circumstances, such words inspire. They are able to restore a person's faith in their own strength.

  1. Don't worry, I'll be right there!

These are the most important words that each of us wants to hear at a turning point. Everyone needs someone close and understanding next to them. Don't leave your loved one alone!

Help your friend come up with a sense of humor about the situation. Every drama has a bit of comedy. Lighten up the situation. Laugh together at the girl who left him, or at the pompous director who fired him from his job. This will allow you to look at the situation in a more optimistic way. After all, everything can be solved and corrected while we are alive.

The best support is to be there

The main thing we say is not with words, but with our actions. A sincere hug, a handkerchief or napkin served on time, a glass of water can say more than you think.

Take on some of the household chores. Provide all possible assistance. Indeed, at the moment of shock, a person is not even able to cook dinner, go to the grocery store, pick up children from kindergarten. If your friend has lost a family member, help arrange the funeral. Make the necessary arrangements and just be there.

Smoothly switch the person's attention to something mundane, not related to his grief. Keep him busy with something. Invite to the cinema, order pizza. Find an excuse to go outside and take a walk.

Sometimes silence is better than any, even the most sincere words. Listen to your friend, let him speak, express his emotions. Let him talk about his pain, about how he is confused, depressed. Don't interrupt him. Let him speak his problem out loud as many times as necessary. This will help to look at the situation from the outside, to see solutions. And you just be close to a loved one in a difficult moment for him.

Olga, St. Petersburg

We all know how hard it is to be in a situation where you need to comfort someone, but there are no right words.

Fortunately, more often than not, people don't expect specific advice from us. It is important for them to feel that someone understands them, that they are not alone. So first, just describe how you feel. For example, with the help of such phrases: “I know that it’s very hard for you now”, “I’m sorry that it’s so hard for you.” So you will make it clear that you really see what a loved one is feeling now.

2. Confirm that you understand these feelings.

But be careful, do not draw all the attention to yourself, do not try to prove that you were even worse. Briefly mention that you have also been in a similar situation before, and ask more about the condition of the one you are comforting.

3. Help a loved one sort out the problem

Even if a person is looking for ways to resolve a difficult situation, first he just needs to speak out. This is especially true for women.

So wait to offer solutions to the problem and listen. This will help the person you are comforting to sort out their feelings. After all, sometimes it is easier to understand your own experiences by talking about them to others. By answering your questions, the interlocutor can find some solutions himself, understand that everything is not as bad as it seems, and simply feel relieved.

Here are some phrases and questions that can be used in this case:

  • Tell me what happened.
  • Say what's bothering you.
  • What led to this?
  • Help me understand how you feel.
  • What scares you the most?

At the same time, try to avoid questions with the word "why", they are too similar to condemnation and will only anger the interlocutor.

4. Do not minimize the suffering of the interlocutor and do not try to make him laugh

When we are faced with the tears of a loved one, we, quite naturally, want to cheer him up or convince him that his problems are not so terrible. But what seems trifling to ourselves can often upset others. So don't minimize the other person's suffering.

And if someone really worries about a trifle? Ask if there is any data that diverges from his view of the situation. Then offer your opinion and share an alternative way out. Here it is very important to clarify whether they want to hear your opinion, without this it may seem too aggressive.

5. Offer physical support if appropriate

Sometimes people do not want to talk at all, they just need to feel that there is a loved one nearby. In such cases, it is not always easy to decide how to behave.

Your actions should correspond to the usual behavior with this or that person. If you are not too close, it will be enough to put a hand on your shoulder or lightly hug. Also look at the behavior of the other person, perhaps he himself will make it clear what he needs.

Remember that you should not be too zealous when comforting: a partner may take this for flirting and be offended.

6. Suggest ways to solve the problem

If the person only needs your support and not specific advice, the above steps may be sufficient. By sharing your experiences, your interlocutor will feel relieved.

Ask if there is anything else you can do. If the conversation takes place in the evening, and most often it does, offer to go to bed. As you know, the morning is wiser than the evening.

If your advice is needed, ask first if the other person has any ideas. Decisions are made more readily when they come from someone who is in a contentious situation. If the person you are comforting has a vague idea of ​​what can be done in their position, help develop concrete steps. If he does not know what to do at all, offer your options.

If a person is sad not because of any particular event, but because he has, immediately proceed to a discussion of specific actions that can help. Or offer to do something like go for a walk together. Excessive thinking will not only not help get rid of depression, but, on the contrary, will aggravate it.

7. Promise to continue to support

At the end of the conversation, be sure to mention again that you understand how hard it is for a loved one now, and that you are ready to continue to support him in everything.

How to cheer up a person.

1. Hug the person

One of the best ways to cheer someone up is to hug them. When your friend or someone close gives up, it is very important to give warmth and show your understanding. If the person does not like to be hugged, then just tell him that you are always ready to listen and give advice.

2. Give a gift

Another way to cheer someone up is to give them a gift. I'm not talking about a designer bag or expensive perfume, gift some of your girlfriend's favorite item that will cheer her up and make her smile.

3. Invite for a walk

If your friend is not in the mood, invite her for a walk. Take a walk in the park or just walk around the city. The beautiful scenery will lift your spirits. Walking in the fresh air is the best way to recover and cheer up.

4. Offer your help

One of the best ways to cheer someone up is to offer to help. You can sit with the children or go to the store to buy groceries. If your friend is constantly busy and doesn't have time to relax, trust me, she will appreciate any of your help. If your friend needs to wash her car, for example, and she is worried that she does not have enough time to do it, surprise her by washing her car.

5. Say kind words

This is perhaps the most efficient way. We often forget the power of kind, positive words. When something bad happens, we are surrounded by everything negative, we lose heart, and do not notice what is happening around. Say kind words, give a compliment or praise for the work. Every person has good qualities that you should point out.

6. Encourage and inspire

If your friend loves to dance, sing, or knit, for example, encourage her to do something she loves. When we lose heart, we often forget about our favorite hobby or favorite sport. Remind your friend of her favorite activity and do it all together.

7. Show your love

Another very effective way is to show your love to a person who is discouraged. Send a letter or a fun flyer with warm, uplifting words. Show your friend that you are always with her and what your friendship means to you.

8. Call

Another way to cheer someone up is to call them. Even if your friend doesn't pick up the phone, write a message of encouragement. When we lose heart, we close ourselves in, even if we feel alone. Show your friend that you think about her, care about her, and that you are always there.

9. Just be there

We live such an active rhythm of life that sometimes we forget to call or meet with a friend. Perhaps at some point she really needs you, but she cannot get through to you. Go to your friend's house to visit, or to work at lunchtime, write, call, show her that you are always there and ready to listen to her at any moment.

A woman draws vital energy from nature, a man receives energy from a woman. You can return what you received and, accordingly, establish energy exchange with the help of gifts. There is a pattern: everything presented to a woman will return to her lover tenfold. But greedy men close the energy flow on themselves, their business stagnates. And vice versa - generous men achieve a lot: their women easily part with their energy for the sake of their beloved, and it increases his strength and power.

How to support a man?

Men don't like being given advice or sympathy without asking. They want to be trusted. Men need to constantly assert themselves. They get a lot of pleasure, achieving something on their own. A man feels supported when a Woman tells him something like: “I believe in you, that you can handle it yourself. I trust you with this until you yourself openly ask for help.

Many women believe that the only way to get what they want in a relationship with a Man is to criticize when he is wrong and give advice when he does not ask for them. A woman often does not suspect that she can induce a Man to do something, simply asking him about it directly, without criticism and advice. If a Woman does not like the way a Man behaves, she should directly tell him about it, without judging him and not saying that he is wrong or that he is bad.

There are three magic words that can support a Man: "You are not to blame." When a Woman shares her sorrows with a Man, she will be very supportive if she says: “I really appreciate that you listen to me. If you think that I am blaming you, then this is not so - I am just sharing with you what I feel.

The fact is that a Man often perceives as an accusation that a Woman ingenuously tells him about her grief - this instantly blocks communication and negatively affects relationships. It is important to remember that good communication requires the participation of both parties. A man should not forget that complaints are not accusations, and when a Woman complains, she is simply trying to relieve tension by talking about what upsets her. And it is important for a Woman to make it clear to a Man that she appreciates him, despite all her complaints.

Men are very upset when they are not required to solve a problem, because they need to feel good in every sense. Letting the Man know that he helps her a lot, just by listening to her, the Woman opens his eyes to her nature and at the same time gives him a reason for self-affirmation, which is so precious for the Man.

To support a man A woman should not suppress her feelings or change them. However, it is important for her to learn how to express them in such a way that the Man does not feel that he is being attacked, accused or condemned. A small change in the inner emphasis in expressing feelings can give amazing results!

John Gray

WHAT A MAN WANTS FROM A WOMAN

✔I want you to listen to me, but not judge me.
✔ I want you to speak up without giving me advice unless I ask.
✔ I want you to trust me without demanding anything.
✔ I want you to be my support without trying to decide for me.
✔ I want you to take care of me, but not like a mother to her son.
✔ I want you to look at me without trying to get something from me.
✔ I want you to hug me, but not choke me.
✔ I want you to inspire me, but not lie.
✔ I want you to support me in a conversation, but do not answer for me.
✔ I want you to be closer, but leave me personal space.
✔ I want you to be aware of my unattractive traits, accept them and not try to change them.
✔ I want you to know... that you can count on me... No limits.

Jorge Bukay

PHRASES that can have a striking effect on men:

1. My Beloved (this is IMPORTANT: do not use the word - Dear, this word no longer contains the necessary information. On the contrary, this word in relation to a man has a glamorous and mannered connotation);
2. Strong (I think comments are unnecessary here)
3. The most daring (most importantly, to say with a complete lack of irony)
4. You are the best (awesome phrase, it works for almost all types of men of all ages)
5. Sexy (Oh yeah!)
6. Smart (amazing effect - word bomb!)
7. Generous (Real men think that they are, however, not real Jews - too)
8. Clever, well done (do not be shy: use these words generously and often, and you will be happy!)
9. Unsurpassed (in a particular case)
10. Awesome
11. I feel so good with you (you can after intimacy, you can just like that, a great phrase that never happens!);
12. You turn me on (and also “insert” - and to be honest, this is a treasure for close relationships, a hook phrase);
13. I miss you so much (a good phrase if you are apart);
14. I admire you (no comment!)
15. I love you so much (often, often, constantly say this phrase to HIM, believe me - it works!)
16. You can make me laugh
17. Only you understand me (Often, with a heartfelt intonation, the result will be excellent!)
18. You know me inside and out (A wonderful phrase that generates trust, the main thing is not to do the opposite, otherwise it will not work)
19. You are the only one for me (Let's please their male Ego!)
20. I love your touch (Let them learn, dear and beloved, it will be useful for them where a woman is pleased and where not)
21. I'm behind you like behind a stone wall (Once a week is an excellent frequency of use)
22. I breathe you (you can change the ending to “live”)
23. I can’t imagine what I would do without you (How they (men) dream about it, therefore more often, with the right intonation and tenderness in their eyes.)
24. I am so calm next to you (same effect as in the phrase with "stone wall")
25. You are so gallant (refined compliment)
26. I'm so happy with you (Chic phrase, which is 90% of the male population)
27. I don't want you to stop loving me sometime (small suggestion)
28. I can't stop admiring you (Psychologists say that men look in the mirror more often than beautiful ladies, which means it works!)
29. I will love you forever (No need for pathos, it's better to say - "always")
30. I miss your hugs (Great phrase that works 100% when you are apart)
31. I beg your pardon
32. You are so insatiable (Men dream of being like that, so let's tell them THIS!)
33. I'm so lonely without you (Good energy, often tell him this on the phone, in letters, sms)
34. I can't wait to see you
35. I miss you so much (on the phone, in a letter - amazing effect)
36. I don't need anything but your love. (Yes, yes, great wording, here you are hinting that he is needed as he is, without a car, apartment, etc. They appreciate it.)
37. I trust you in everything (Good phrase, works)
38. I will follow you to the ends of the world (You can also use "earth", "planet")
39. You are my prince on a white horse (or on a Mercedes. Use only in relation to a loved one)
40. Just be with me (yes, they, these boys, still believe in “just”)
41. I am so grateful to you for everything you have done for me (works well, proven phrase, works 100 percent)
42. I want to be with you forever (Oddly enough, despite some pathos, this is a phrase that many men fall for. Try it.)
43. I want to wake up next to you every morning (Gorgeous magnet, act girls!)
44. The thought of separation from you kills me (sometimes this is possible, if infrequently and on business!)
45. I have never loved anyone so much! (Do not say this very often, otherwise the man begins to think, but were there many of them, these same “no one”, and why did she set it up, what if ...? Well, in general, you understand!)
46. ​​You know how to be so gentle (great phrase, let them believe in it and become more tender, bumpkins!)
47. Your kisses drive me crazy (let him try more often)
48. I go crazy when you look at me like that (Let him look more often and more closely, this is only good for us)
49. When you leave me so bad (sometimes, but not very often, it can be used)
50. I couldn't even dream that I could meet you (yes, hook phrase)
51. My life became bright when I met you (Effective, worth using)
52. I don't have enough words to express how much I love you (Phrase lighter in a relationship, say once a week or a little less often)
53. You are the man of my dreams (Oh yes! The logical conclusion of this worthy list of phrases, the frequency is about once every 5-7 days, not more often).